Ep. 10: Hop's Troublesome Trio, Part 2

Transcript by Raina Harper

Kyle (as Cory) 

Well, so, the thing is… I would love to go, I really would, but uh…

Kyle

Cory stepped back, desperately grabbing for straws, both with her voice and with the flailing arm placed behind her back. And then she felt it, a piece of merch so shoddily built that Cory was surprised it didn’t disintegrate at her mere touch, the Commemorative Elee Badge Folding Chair.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Tired.] Cory…

Kyle (as Cory) 

Breakaway chair distraction attack!

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle

With a loud BONK, Cory slammed the metal folding chair onto her father’s head. Unfortunately, the chair was built slightly better than she expected, only suffering a minor dent as it collided with her guardian’s skull.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Ow!

[Stammers.] Ow…!

Kyle (as Cory) 

[Nervous chuckle.] Ta-da…? You see clearly, through this great example, we only have the best quality merch here.

Kyle

Cory tapped the side of the folding chair which now decided to crumple into a dozen pieces. Before she could even attempt to refine this disaster into golden bullshit, Cory’s father met her eyes in a wordless gaze. It was time to run.

Kyle (as Cory) 

[Quickly.] Well it’s been fun, but I really gotta talk to you later! Love you, bye~!

Kyle

With only a plume of dust in her wake, Cory was gone.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Cory! Cory…! Ugh, that girl can pack a punch. She certainly learned her strength from her mother. I just hope her sisters are doing better.

[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]

Kyle (as Aggie) 

I’m going to kill you.

Kyle

Underneath the shining lights, roaring crowd, and boisterous announcer of the Neulettia Pre-Regionals Boostball Finals, a girl who looked very similar in body but not in anything else to Cory cut through the distractions as she stared at her opponent with dagger-like eyes. Her opponent, an attractive young man no older than 18 and no taller than 4’5” responded to his opponent’s threat with a smile that reflected the shine of the lights onto his bronze skin.

Kyle (as opponent) 

[Cocky.] Oh, I’m sure you’d like that, Argyle.

Kyle

The girl’s eyes sharpened, a literal glint shining off of them.

Kyle (as Aggie) 

Okay. Okay. So first, I’m going to find who told you that name and then I’m going to kill them, and then I’m going to kill you.

Kyle

The girl’s opponent smiled his infuriatingly beautiful smile knowing that he didn’t have to say anything else to get under her skin, and then, with the boisterous sound of the announcer over the speaker going…

[Sports action music begins.]

Kyle (as announcer) 

Four score and 20 years ago… it’s time to go!

Kyle

…both opponents activated the jetpacks on their back, got ready to shoot across the diamond-shaped field towards their opponent’s goals, but right as she was about to launch the girl noticed her opponent shoot her a wink, distracting her just enough that her feet couldn’t keep pace with the jetpack, and she slammed headfirst into the ground.

[Music ends.]

Before she gets up, as she languishes face-down in this boostball field, living out seconds of shame that feel minutes long, let’s talk about her a bit.

[Silly whimsical music plays.]

This is Argyle, or Aggie, Scotch, one of Cory’s two triplet sisters. Of the three, Aggie was always the achiever, academically and physically. She would push herself to excel at anything possible, often quite literally at risk of life and limb.

Over the years her shield-like athletic armor with two shining red shoulder plates had been supplemented by accessories that had to be necessarily added to Aggie’s body itself: a couple of extendable whips replacing fingers where she had rushed herself in a woodworking class in order to make sure she finished before Cory, a large metal leg that had been the result of what now was only known as “the Chitters incident.”

Aggie was determined to excel at all costs, which is why she screamed into the ground as a simple wink caused her to lose the first point of this game!

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Aggie) 

[Muffled frustrated shriek.]

Kyle (as Aggie) 

But now, now was not the time for screaming. That came later during her designated post-game screaming time. Now, Aggie had to press her hands against the ground, push herself up, and do whatever she could to win this thing.

Kyle (as Q-BO) 

[Bloop.] Boostball is a game that takes place on a diamond that is made out of two pyramid shapes. There’s a ball, there’s plates, there’s two goals, and there’s jetpacks! That’s all we know about boostball, but that is enough for you to tell me: How does Aggie put herself into overdrive in order to win this match?

We also have a second question. This one is a poll. We’ve now seen two out of the three Scotch triplets, and the third one, spoilers, is going to have a little friend. What do you think her companion should be?