THE DEAD LIVE! Or do they?
Last week’s answers: "Cory wants to learn magic"
"I really want Vespari to ask Cory to do something nice for Ig. Especially since he always gave them stuff for cookie crew adventures"
“Listen, if you replace every “o” in “Boostball” with an “e” you get “Beestball”. Why would that be the case if the person/people who invented the game hadn’t thought of this exact scenario and thought of it as completely fair? So fair in fact, that they basically put “bees” in the fricking name of the game!"
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Transcript by Raina Harper
Kyle (as Vespari)
So I started crying and, well, your sad father didn’t cry, but I could sense the empathetic melancholy from his bunk, and—
Kyle (as Cory)
Mayor Vespari, how do you do it?
Kyle (as Vespari)
Oh! Well, uh… emotional vulnerability is a hard nut to crack. It took me quite a few years.
Kyle (as Cory)
No, no, no, the um… Ah!
Kyle
Cory splayed out her fingers and shot her hands forward, imitating the magic spell that Vespari had done previously.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Ah! Yes, my nano magic. Well, surely your nini and uncle must have told you about that.
Kyle
Cory thought back. She had asked her nini Misha and uncle Xoc a few times how they engaged in magic, but every time the two of them would simply make loving amorous eyes at each other that, to be frank, made Cory deeply uncomfortable.
Kyle (as Cory)
I would, um… I’d just like to hear from an expert.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Ah. Well…
Kyle
Mayor Vespari began to explain.
Kyle (as Vespari)
The exact way a nano manifests their magical abilities really varies from person to person. For one like myself, I make extravagant flowing motions evocative of the spell itself.
Kyle
He moved his arms which bent in a smooth, perfectly curving wave-like fashion, one that would be impossible for anyone else.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Whereas my sibling Ig, well, their fiery spells come from an emotional core, typically one of excitement.
Kyle (as Cory)
[Unsure.] Okay…
Kyle
Cory hesitantly said, trying and failing to move her arm like Vespari’s, knowing that the emotional component wasn’t even worth trying.
Kyle (as Vespari)
But the one thing all of us nanos have in common is a patron.
Kyle (as Cory)
Oh. What, you just convince some old rich sap to give you the shins?
Kyle (as Vespari)
No, no, no. Not a financial patron, more of a… [Exhales.]
[Magical narration music begins.]
Life is not just what you see, young Coriander. A great many years ago, two great heroes spread an immeasurable amount of knowledge throughout our atmosphere itself. This knowledge is always around us. We breathe it in with every breath and we feel it in the breeze on our skin, and so we called it the Datasphere. Inside the Datasphere was a unique kind of life, one that was not physical nor robotic but instead of the Datasphere itself, and we call that…
Kyle
Mayor Vespari motioned out his hand, waiting for an answer from Cory.
[Music fades.]
Kyle (as Cory)
I… Mayor, I don't know. You’re telling me for the first time.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Stratic life! Or, strata. Very good, young Coriander.
[Music returns.]
Now strata can normally not interact with our regular world, however, if a strata makes a connection with a machine or biological creature here on the physical realm, it can manifest amazing, incredible powers that normally it would not be able to present in our physical realm, which is why it perplexes me, young Coriander, that you just so happened to stumble across a strata of your own.
[Music ends abruptly.]
Kyle (as Cory)
[Flatly.] What?
Kyle
Cory was ready to lie, but for the first time she genuinely had no idea what the mayor was talking about.
Kyle (as Cory)
Vespari, genuinely, I don't know what you’re talking about. I didn’t grab anything. I—
Kyle (as Vespari)
But you certainly did, young Coriander. That’s how I ran across you, after all.
Kyle (as Cory)
Are you referring to the big armored guy? Because no, that guy was very real.
Kyle (as Vespari)
And very dead, having deceased quite some time ago.
[Tense mystery music begins.]
However, remnants of our reality often find their way into the Datasphere.
Kyle (as Cory)
But he killed someone, Vespari!
Kyle
Cory grew frustrated, partially at Vespari who didn’t seem to be talking sense but mostly at herself who was quaking in fear from something that apparently didn’t ever exist.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Ah yes, the victim, another memory of that whole horrid affair.
Kyle (as Cory)
Alright, so you’re just saying they both were strata?
Kyle
Cory raised her eyebrows in skepticism that the mayor did not notice, for he slapped her on the back and said:
Kyle (as Vespari)
Excellent deduction as always, young Coriander. Yes, we had not one but two strata in our physical realm, which is quite concerning.
Kyle
The mayor started to stroke his chin which warped and bent like a goatee despite being hairless.
Kyle (as Vespari)
I’m afraid I’ll have to stick around quite a while longer to figure that out.
[Music ends.]
[Exhales.] Young Coriander, in a few months you and your sisters shall be leaving your parents’ nest, shall you not?
Kyle (as Cory)
Uh… yes?
Kyle (as Vespari)
And, unlike your sisters, you’re off on a journey of self-discovery, are you not?
Kyle (as Coy)
If you’re referring to me just going where I want, then… yeah.
[Silly weird music begins.]
Kyle (as Vespari)
Excellent!
Kyle
With a thunk, Cory’s hands fell to the ground as Vespari dropped a massive unknown artifact into her hands. This was an item known as a cypher, a powerful artifact from the previous worlds that people just kind of stumbled upon and used however they thought it might work. Because of the less-efficient use, cyphers often broke after a single use. Now that Cory has it, you as the listener will be able to decide what it is and use it whenever you’d like. Vespari explained to Cory:
Kyle (as Vespari)
I found this interesting item in the trash the other day, and it reminded me of my dear sweet sibling Ig. I hoped to deliver it myself, but unfortunately I have this new issue to attend to. So, if you happen to be around the kingdom of Ancuan, could you drop that off for me?
Kyle
Cory, struggling to lift up the item, just let out:
Kyle (as Cory)
[Strained.] Yeah… sure.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Excellent! Excellent. I initially asked your sister Marigold, of course, but she did not respond to my query.
Kyle
With an abrupt thump, Cory dropped the item back to the ground.
[Music ends.]
Kyle (as Cory)
What the fuck did you ask Mari for?
Kyle (as Vespari)
Excuse me?
Kyle (as Cory)
Why…
Kyle
Cory took a breath.
Kyle (as Cory)
Why did you ask Mari to do this? It’s not secret that I’m the best at transporting cargo.
Kyle (as Vespari)
Indeed you are, indeed you are, but young Marigold, well… perhaps I should not say.
Kyle (as Cory)
You shouldn’t say what, Vespari?
Kyle (as Vespari)
If your sister has kept this secret from you, then it is her secret to keep and not mine to share.
Kyle (as Cory)
[Chuckles.] Mari? Keep a secret? My sister couldn’t lie if her life depended on it.
[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]
Kyle (as Mari)
Alright, Mari, you just have to… Well, it’s not a lie, it is a possible interpretation of the rules.
Kyle
Mari resisted the urge to turtle back into her large sweater while covering her face with her striped green stocking cap. Instead, she stood up, took a breath, and didn’t quite yell but spoke louder than a whisper.
[Silly music begins.]
Kyle (as Mari)
Well, so, the thing is… boostball, if you change the O’s to E’s, is called beestball. Surely the creators of this game wouldn’t have something that was so close to the real name as another possible name if they didn’t expect people to use bees in beestball, boostball, in bee-oostball.
[Music ends.]
[Rolls.] With a 7, Mari was not immediately shot down. Instead, everyone stood quiet for a second. Mari’s eyes flitted between Galatea’s constantly inscrutable expression and Aggie who was clearly less than amused, staring wide-eyed at her sister and just mouthing:
Kyle (as Aggie)
What the fuck?
Kyle
But eventually Galatea sauntered back up to the opposing team’s coach, dropped in another coin, and the skeleton head rattled down with the message “statement unclear, please try again.”
Kyle (as Mari)
Uh, well, um…
Kyle (as Aggie)
We’re calling a time out!
Kyle
Aggie raised her hand and called from the center of the field. As her sister approached her, this is when Mari decided maybe it was a good time to cover her face with that stocking cap.
Kyle (as Q-BO)
Well, it seemed like Mari’s argument didn’t quite ork as well as she expected, so now the girls have to figure out a way to win the match without the power of bees. How do Mari and Aggie try to win the boostball game? In addition to putting your answers in our chat, I would also like you to roll a twenty-sided dice. The average of our listener responses will be how well Mari and Aggie do.