17. Die Card (Part 3)

Transcript by Raina Harper

Kyle

Previously on Quest Friends! Hereafter…

[Music plays, ‘Quest Friends! Hereafter Theme’ by Miles Morkri.]

Kyle (as Ronda)

Team Clone, assemble your might.

Kyle (as Eddie)

Give up now, there’s no need to fight.

Kyle (as Quiclones)

That’s right!

Kyle

Oset screams, and as he does, you notice cracks start to appear across his White-Eyes Blue Dragon as it is forced back into the card.

Kyle (as Lucas)

The people in the video, the people that look like your friend… the background they had, I think that was Mr. Scuba’s office.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh, you think that was Mr. Scuba’s office? Okay, well how do we get there?

Kyle (as Lucas)

The offices were on the second floor back in the main room where the party was.

Kyle

Anyways. Irene, what did you want to do?

Emily

She’s gonna pull back the blanket so she can see all her little Necromon.

Emily (as Irene)

Please, my loyal friends… hurt them.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

[Music swells and carries into the episode.]

Kyle

Okay! You have a lot of shit you can do this session.

[Heisty investigation music begins.]

The main thing is you want to find and thwart, or help, Ronda and Eddie in their heist. Quique has been very clearly openly antagonistic towards Eddie in his wants. Both Tom, out of character, and Hallie, kind of out of character, have mentioned “what if we just steal from Oset? What if we just help him?”

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

So, you have to help or thwart them, up to you.

The second thing you could do, save the hostages, because both Sammy Ester who is part of Sparky’s rutabaga mystery and Alina who is Hilda’s mother are among the hostages.

Hallie

[Laughs.] I forgot there were hostages in the Die Hard scenario.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Emily

Are we technically hostages?

Kyle

Yes, technically you were hostages, but you didn’t arise suspicion because you sent your things through the vent and Quique and Irene have just been sitting at the Químicard stand.

Emily

Oh, we’ve been just chilling there, yeah.

Kyle

They have done so much and have not moved from their seats an entire session. An entire session and a half, honestly.

Another option, you could bring the ScubaCorp Scubalites, which are their satellites, back on. Ronda and Eddie took them down. That’s what’s keeping everyone from calling on their phone. So, Quique’s phone works, but nobody else’s does. If you brought those back online, everyone would be able to make calls.

You could help BITE, AKA the Undertakers and the Overseers, fight off the Quiclones on the lower floors, letting them raid the building. This was something you considered doing as Strike Force Necromon, but we never made a decision if we wanted to do that or if we wanted to take the higher floors.

You could shut down the device that’s keeping the Necromon in their cards. That would let not only Booker back out, and I guess Pepito because Sparky still has her Necromouse.

Hallie

Pepito. Well, she can’t call Pepito right now because she doesn’t have the faith.

Kyle

You don’t have faith in Pepito.

Hallie

I don’t have faith in Pepito!

Kyle

You don’t believe that he will aid you in your time of need.

Hallie

It is in no way tied to deeper concerns of Sparky Malarky.

Kyle

Anyways. You can find and reactivate that device. I guess you could find Maybelline. She’s still missing.

Hallie

[Sarcastic.] Oh no. What will we do without Maybelline?

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Then, the final thing, Gustavo, Gus who is the one-handed Quiclone, is still in the security room. You could break into that.

[Music ends.]

I do not… I want to make one thing abundantly clear right now. I do not expect nor do I want us to do all six of these.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

I’m merely explaining what has happened and giving you a list of “here are some possible objectives,” just so we had an easy jumping-off point.

Hallie

Kyle, I would like to do six different heists, please, with our four characters, at all the different ScubaCorp locations.

Tom

No~

Ari

At the same time.

Hallie

Yes.

Tom

No~

Hallie

They must be simultaneous for this to work.

Kyle

They do have a Spacescraper in each city that they do an event at because I wanted to make it like the Olympics.

Hallie

[Squawks in delight.]

Tom

But, I guess to return us to our present moment, we had all stepped out of the wall and—

Kyle

Stumbled upon Quique and Irene in the main party slash hostage room. Yeah. Let’s talk about where we are right now.

[Tense ambient music begins.]

You are all in the fancy party room near the top of the ScubaCorp Spacescraper. What was once bustling with the electrifying energy of a high-class gala is now bustling with the equally electrifying energy of not wanting to die, or for some guests not wanting to die again.

Hallie & Ari

Not wanting to die… hard.

Kyle

Damn it!

Hallie

Ha!

Ari

Hallie!

Tom

Oh-ho-ho!

Hallie

Ah-ha~!

Kyle

The four remaining Quiclones, two of whom are on the main floor with the guests and then two of whom are patrolling the offices on the balcony floor above, have gotten the hostages to stop yelling, but it’s clear that they’re struggling to maintain control.

[00:05:00]

In fact, they’re so preoccupied that they don’t notice when a small bit of wall behind the Químicard stand opens up revealing Sparky Malarky, Lucas Bang, and Hilda Miszkiewicz.

[Music ends.]

Hallie

I don't think that I have seen Irene or Quique at this party yet, just Hilda.

Kyle

Quique had his stand, so he would have been there all night, so you might have seen him, but you didn’t talk to him.

Hallie

Okay. In that case, upon seeing Irene, Sparky says:

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh god, you’re here?

Hallie

And then upon seeing Quique.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh god, I forgot you were here.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Irene)

What do you mean “you’re here?” I am the champion. Well, like, we’re both the champions, but I am the ‘champion’ champion.

Ari

Quique, at the same time as Sparky saying “oh god, you’re here,” will say that to Sparky.

[Laughter.]

Tom (as Hilda)

Oh my gosh! Irene! Mr. Canaca! Are you guys okay?

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah. How about you, kid? How are you?

Tom (as Hilda)

Uh… scared, but I’m okay. Booker was forced back into his book. We escaped from Oset Scuba. He’s in his evil lair doing computer things.

[Giggling.]

There’s too much to explain. Anyway! What’s happening to everyone in here? What happened when the… other yous took over?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah, Hilda apparently didn’t know about that.

Ari (as Quique)

That is a long story that really doesn’t need to be recounted a lot.

Hallie (as Sparky)

It really doesn’t.

[Silly music begins.]

Ari (as Quique)

Well, it is actually…

Hallie (as Sparky)

No, it’s a really long story.

Ari (as Quique)

I mean, if you mention it like that, Sparky, I’m just gonna say that it’s all Sparky’s fault.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Well, I was just agreeing with you, so… I mean, it’s not really a short story.

Ari (as Quique)

No. No, no, no. You don’t get—No, you don’t get to.

Hallie (as Sparky)

There were a lot of contexts, many contexts in which it happened, not just one. Several.

Ari (as Quique)

Long story short, Sparky wanted to spy on my house, as she does, and one thing led to another…

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay, well that’s… putting it simply.

Ari (as Quique)

…and now we have this.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Eliminating several of the contexts I just mentioned.

Ari (as Quique)

No, that is exactly the correct context. But anyways.

Tom (as Hilda)

I will accept this because we have no time to do anything else.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Quique)

But anyways. Speaking of your book, kid.

Ari

He’s gonna hand the page to Hilda and say that it’s not harmful and all of the stuff that the plot requires.

Tom (as Hilda)

Thank you.

Hallie

That was the page that Hilda took from Sparky, right?

Kyle

And Sparky didn’t know that.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

Sparky has not been told.

Hallie

So, upon seeing that page—

Hallie (as Sparky)

I mean, I didn’t bring it with me, but I thought it was in my… Eh? Was there a second page?

Ari (as Quique)

[Grinning.] Ah, the kid took it from you? Good job, kid.

Tom (as Hilda)

Anyway. Anyway. Anyway.

Hallie (as Sparky)

What? What?

Ari (as Quique)

I am proud of you.

Hallie (as Sparky)

What?! What?!

Kyle (as Lucas)

Oh! That’s the page that Mr. Scuba gave me.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Lucas, what…? Yes. What?! I mean, how can you tell? It’s got nothing on it.

Tom (as Hilda)

How can You tell it’s got nothing on it?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Because I held that page for a long time.

Ari (as Quique)

For me, it really just looks like a blank page, so I really don’t understand how you can tell one page from the other.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I just… my journalist instincts are kicking in.

Tom

Alright. Hilda is going to attempt to simultaneously escape from this and deflect to just go to Irene.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Hilda)

What happened to everyone in here? Is everyone okay?

Kyle

[Laughs.] God bless the kids actually dealing with the hostage scenario on-hand.

Hallie

I have a plan.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Irene)

Everyone is relatively fine. I am taking care of it. My Necromon team have been deployed to take down some of our enemies. We are currently on our way to victory. Thank you.

Tom (as Hilda)

Where are they now?

Emily (as Irene)

That is a very good question.

[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]

Kyle

Alright, Strike Force Necromon, and Quique’s hand.

Tom

[Snickers.]

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle

I’m gonna say we’re all in the hallways outside of the main party room. We have taken out two of the Quiclones and stuffed them in a vent.

Hallie

Where they belong.

Kyle

What do we do now?

Ari

Hand’s gonna make a thumbs up at the team for their contributions.

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Kyle

Boidelrat’s real happy. Boidelrat is actually taking the skull of Fede and pulling it out, and putting it back in.

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey, stop toying—!

Kyle

And pulling it out. You know a kid who will dump out all of the cereal and then put it back in the box? Boidelrat is doing that to this man’s head.

Hallie

Peekaboo!

Tom

The Mossies wish to cut off the enemy at the head and track down Ronda and Eddie.

Hallie

Pokeyo agrees. Pokeyo wants to go for the throat.

Ari

Mallea wants blood.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright. So, we want to find Eddie. I would say the hand knows what Quique knows, but Quique also does not know how to get to Ronda and Eddie. None of the Necromon here know where Ronda and Eddie are.

[00:10:00]

Tom

Hmm…

Ari

Hmm…

Tom

Mossie thinks taking right turns is usually a good way to get unlost!

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Question. Would any of the Quiclones we have taken hostage know where they are?

Tom

Oh…

Ari

Would Fede know?

Hallie

Can we interrogate them without using words? Because we’re Necromon.

Kyle

Uh, I mean…

Tom

We’re gonna have to do some charades.

Kyle

I guess we can interrogate a skull if we want to.

Hallie

Yeah. It speaks. It knows.

Kyle

Okay. Who’s suggesting this?

Hallie

Pokeyo.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

Alright, so we just hear a couple of oh-ee-kopes?

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-ee… kope? Oh-ee-kope. Oh-ee-kope!

Tom (as Mossies)

See-sawm… see-sawm.

Ari (as Mallea)

Uh-lay-um!

Ari

Like, cracking his—

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Tom

The Mossies are bouncing up and down.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari

The hand is slightly concerned about this, but…

Hallie

About the direction this is going.

Ari

Yeah. But it won’t stop it either. It’s just slightly concerned.

Kyle

When one of them basically says the equivalent of “grab the head,” Boidelrat’s gonna go…

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Kyle

…really excited, and will pull back in her teeth a head with an arm bone stuck inside of it.

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey. Hey! What’s going on here? Come on! Stop pulling me in and out.

Kyle

And Boidelrat sits.

Kyle (as Fede)

I mean, you can put me back in.

Tom

The Mossies are gonna try nibbling menacingly, not biting it hard, just like (om, om, om).

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Tom (as Mossies)

[Nomming sounds.]

Kyle

The little arm flinches a little bit.

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey! Get away from that. Get away from that!

Tom (as Mossies)

… (Om).

Kyle (as Fede)

No, that is not food!

Tom (as Mossies)

See-sawm…

Kyle (as Fede)

Not… food…

Tom

Bites a little harder.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Fede)

Agh! No, not food, not food, not food!

Ari

Mallea might slap the skull.

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey! Hey! Ow! Ow!

Ari

Basically saying the equivalent of “tell us what you know,” but the skull wouldn’t understand, so it would just be like:

Ari (as Mallea)

[Being bossy.] Uh-lay-um, uh-lay-um!

Tom

Actually, here’s an interesting philosophical question. How do we all understand what each other say? Like, we’re all doing the Pokémon speak thing. The Pokémon can understand each other. But, they’re also Necromon. Can they understand Necrospeak?

Kyle

Holy shit, you’re right!

Ari

That’s good.

Hallie

They’re just Meowth.

Ari

Oh my god, they’re Meowth!

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Fede)

I… I don’t know nothing. Alright? I’m just… I’m just Fede. You know, I’m fun #6

Kyle

A, B, C, D, E, F… yeah, #6, fun #6.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-ee-kope, oh-ee-kope, oh ee kope!

Kyle (as Fede)

Listen! Listen. I don't know. Listen, I know I’m like one second later than Eddie in life, but I don't know the guy that well. Okay?

Hallie

In response to him saying he doesn’t know anything, can I signal to Mallea to slap him again?

[Laughter.]

Ari

Mallea will gladly do so.

Kyle (as Fede)

Hey, hey, hey! I don’t know. I’m just a skull. I don't know what you want from me. Alright?

[Over-dramatic tragedy music begins.]

[Emotional.] I’m just a skull… one of 26. I don’t even have a mustache like Eddie. I have nothing that makes me ‘me,’ and he trusts that phantom lady more than any of the rest of us!

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Curious.] Oh-ee-kope?

Kyle (as Fede)

I don't know, man… She was like a patsy or something. She was just supposed to be used, but I feel like we’re the ones getting used, man.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Sympathetic.] Oh-ee-kope…

Kyle (as Fede)

Yeah, it is hard. It is hard!

[Laughter.]

I’m sitting here, trying my best… We had to find our own femurs. I couldn’t find a femur in time, so my femur weapon was just my own femur. It makes it real hard to walk.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Emotional.] Oh-ee-kope!

Kyle (as Fede)

That’s what I thought! I said a piece of wood would work just as well, but Eddie, oh no. Eduardo needs us to have the bone theme going on. We’re not Team Bone, we’re Team Clone.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Pokeyo gently pats.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Softly.] Oh-ee-kope, oh-ee-kope… oh-ee-kope?

Kyle (as Fede)

You mean it?

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Chipper.] Oh-ee-kope!

Kyle (as Fede)

[Sobbing.] Well, I mean, I know the guy, the guy that runs all of this. That like 19-year-old trillionaire prick. Apparently his offices lead to some cool room or something. I didn’t even get to guard the room. I got “a” door!

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Scandalized.] Oh-ee-kope.

Kyle (as Fede)

I know… I know! I got paired with Santiago, man. No one likes Santiago. He does, like… He does improv classes. Do you know how often we—

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Understanding.] Oh-ee-kope.

Kyle (as Fede)

[Softening.] Yeah! Yeah…

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Tender.] Oh-ee-kope.

Kyle (as Fede)

[Small, sobbing.] Thank you…

[Music ends.]

Hallie

The goal now is to beat up the big bad man who made this skull sad.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Ari

I want to say that Mallea will whisper to Pokeyo and say the equivalent of “ah, good cop, bad cop. Nailed it.”

[00:15:00]

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Mallea)

Uh-lay-um! Uh-lay-um, uh-lay-um.

Tom (as Mossies)

See-sawm.

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Kyle

Boidelrat really excitedly shakes her head and just throws the skull to the side.

Several

[Emotional.] No!

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Pleading, distraught.] Oh-ee-kooope!

Kyle

And she starts bouncing around, leaving all sorts of plants on the ground.

Tom

[Sighs in delight.]

Ari (as Mallea)

[Grumpy.] Uh-lay-um.

Ari

Mallea is gonna just stare at Boidelrat, not for throwing the skull, just for causing such a mess.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Just for being a nuisance.

Pokeyo then wants to give a stirring speech about “we now know where our foes lie, let us go vanquish and avenge.” Then, if we leave, I want to fix the skull to the best of Pokeyo’s ability and then give a little salute. Like, “we’re gonna avenge you, buddy.” They’re friends now.

Kyle

You’re gonna roll, uh… we’ll say Touch the Other Side. I could do Keep Your Cool, but I feel like assembling a human skeleton is so foreign to Pokeyo that Touch the Other Side makes sense.

Hallie

Oh yeah. Pokeyo doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Kyle

So, I want you to first give me a stirring speech that I can put dramatic music under and then roll.

[Inspiring trumpet music begins.]

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-ee-kope, oh-ee-kope, oh-ee-kope. Oh-ee-kope-kope kope-popopo— [Coughs.]

[Laughter. Music ends.]

Ari

Please just have the speech interrupted with that, like with the music.

Kyle

Oh yeah.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

[Enthusiastic.] Oh-ee-kope, oh-ee-kope! Oh-ee-kope! Kope.

[Giggling.]

Kope-ee!

Kyle

Opa!

[Laughter.]

Tom (as Mossies)

See-sawm~

Hallie

Oh-ke-oh-pe! {making Pokeyo syllables sound like the exclamation “opa!”}

Ari (as Mallea)

Uh-lay-um…

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-kee-ope!

Kyle

Give me a roll.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Agh! Seven.

Ari

No!

Kyle (as Fede)

Godspeed, captain.

[Inspiring trumpet music returns.]

Kyle

And Fede salutes with his foot which is right next to his head which has been attached to the bottom of his hip alongside a series of other bones that were too broken for repair.

Ari

Oh no…

Tom

The hip bone’s connected to the… head bone.

Ari

Oh no!

[Laughter. Music ends. Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

I thought all the Necromon were in their little cards.

Emily (as Irene)

[Exhales.] Trainers who are not as good as me, yes.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay…

Hallie

She’s looking between her and Hilda because she supports a healthy rivalry. This is fine. And she doesn’t like Irene very much just yet, so this is also fine.

Ari (as Quique)

What’s this, a journalist that doesn’t know all there is to know about this Necromon and about how they don’t always need cards? That’s something that even I knew, Sparky, and I don’t know any of these things.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Just like an exaggerated eye-roll over at Quique.

Ari

He would try to mimic that if he had eyes to roll.

Kyle

Does he just roll his head around?

Ari

Yes.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I’m asking questions, Quique. I don’t have any nieces or nephews who are into this.

Ari (as Quique)

I mean, that’s not why I know about it.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Why do you know about it then?!

Ari (as Quique)

Because I have one too!

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh, for god’s sake… Bird. You have the bird.

Ari (as Quique)

Have you seen that card with the bird on it?

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Huffs.] Okay, okay, okay. You know everything. Ah, great! Great. Another Quique knows everything.

Tom (as Hilda)

[Hushed.] Shh! Shh! Boss…!

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle

Yeah, we’ll actually say a couple of Quiclones kind of look over when they hear the yelling. Just like, “huh?”

Ari (as Quique)

It’s just Sparky, guys.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

Just talking about how scared I am to be a hostage.

Kyle

Are you saying that to the Quiclones?

Ari

She would, yeah.

Hallie

Oh no!

Kyle

Roll me Convince Somebody with Slick. Specifically because I don’t think you’re trying to disguise the fact that you’re the original Quique from them, but I want to see if they just think you’re a Quiclone anyway.

Ari

[Rolls.] Nine.

Kyle

Nine. Mixed success. So, they’re convinced mostly. I’m gonna say they get upset with you. They’re just gonna yell at you.

Kyle (as Quiclone)

Hey! Come on! Come on, why are you letting Sparky in here? Come on, get her someplace where she can’t cause nonsense. Get this thing under control! How dare you.

Kyle

They think you’re a Quiclone. They’re incredibly upset that you’re letting Sparky Malarky run loose, because as your clone, they all do in fact hate Sparky Malarky.

[Laughter.]

Ari

That’s why I said that. That is exactly why I said that’s Sparky because I knew that they would also hate her.

Kyle (as Quiclone)

Come on! Come on. What’s the matter with you? Ugh.

Ari (as Quique)

Listen. I’m dealing with it. You all know how hard it is to keep Sparky out of any situation.

Kyle (as Quiclone)

It’s impossible. It’s impossible!

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah, exactly, so it’s not on me. She goes where she do.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Quiclone)

Well, get her under control, alright? We don’t want Eduardo coming back asking what’s going on. Okay? Get her under control. Get her under control. Grab whatever bone weapon you have and get it under control.

[00:20:00]

[Music ends.]

Emily

Can I say that Irene has continued to discuss strategy with Hilda in the corner?

Ari

I love it.

Tom

Yeah, I’m very okay with that.

Hallie

Yeah, no, keep discussing your actual strategy.

Tom (as Hilda)

[Hushed.] So, is my mom okay in here?

Emily (as Irene)

[Hushed.] Uh… I saw your mother earlier, and she seemed her normal self.

Tom (as Hilda)

Okay… Okay. Okay, that’s good. That’s good.

Emily (as Irene)

I now would like to unleash everyone else’s Necromon as, while they are not as skilled as I am, it will still be important to have everyone able to fight.

Tom (as Hilda)

Okay. Yeah. How do we do that?

Emily

Do I have any context for anything that’s happening, Kyle?

Kyle

In the video where Ronda and Eddie said they were taking over, one of them told the other “hey, do the thing,” I think is what they said. Right after that, everyone’s Necromon except for yours got forced back into their cards and you felt that pain in your soul.

Emily (as Irene)

While I do not know all the details as of yet, I was made aware that our captors were going to “do the thing” and then no one had Necromon. Therefore, I have deduced that they did something.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Irene)

In the area where they recorded the video. If you did not know, I am also a detective.

Tom (as Hilda)

I didn’t. That’s really cool.

Emily (as Irene)

I also may have defeated these foes once before.

Tom (as Hilda)

That’s good. We need all the help we can get. What are these guys armed with?

Kyle (as Lucas)

Well, I mean, it looks like—

Kyle

Suddenly Lucas Bang is just down between the two of you, because he’s way too intimidated by what’s going on between Quique and Sparky.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Lucas)

It seems like each of them have an additional bone alongside them. Some of them got tibias, some of them got extra skulls. That one… that’s just a boomerang made out of calcium, so um…

Tom (as Hilda)

Blunt force trauma, humanity’s oldest killer.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Irene)

I thought age was humanity’s oldest killer.

Tom (as Hilda)

Yeah, probably. Anyway. This is a conversation for tournament contestants only, not ScubaCorp.

Kyle (as Lucas)

Oh, right, yeah-yeah, contestants—Oh… Oh.

Tom (as Hilda)

You should go protect Boss. I think they’re gonna arrest her or something.

Kyle (as Lucas)

What?! Go protect the Boss? What? What?!

Tom (as Hilda)

Irene—

Kyle

[Smiling.] Lucas is gonna jump them.

Ari

Oh, what?

Hallie

No. No! No!

Tom

[Shouting.] Yes. Yes! YES!

Hallie

Lucas, no! Oh my god.

Tom

YES!

[Upbeat rock music begins.]

Hallie

Fuck. No!

[Laughter.]

Kyle

[Rolls.] Mixed success. He only takes down one of them.

Tom

Oh!

Emily

That’s so much worse!

Tom

Hilda’s just going to shout at the top of her lungs.

Tom (as Hilda)

RIOT!

[Laughter. Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

The announcement break, now without ads… for this week specifically. Because this week, instead of talking about some other show you need to go listen to or something that costs money, I instead wanted to talk about a fun community-building thing that I’ve been working on for a little bit.

The Quest Friends! Fan Work Exchange is not quite Secret Santa because, one, it’s definitely not getting done by Christmas, and two, you aren’t sharing gifts bought with money. Instead, what this exchange ‘is’ is an opportunity for you to create whatever work you’re passionate about – paintings, fan fiction, songs, video analysis, essays, whatever you enjoy making, and share it with another fan of Quest Friends.

Here’s how it works. In the description, I have a Google Form that asks you a bunch of questions that boil down to what’s a way to contact you, what kind of fan work do you wanna make, and what kind of fan work do you want to receive. In two weeks we’re gonna take all the responses and then we’ll start assigning people to make stuff for other folks. You’ll have a little less than a month to make your stuff and send it back to us, and then a week after that we’ll send it off to the recipients.

The reason we’re serving as an intermediary in this case is two-fold. One, if someone wants to participate but wants to be relatively anonymous for safety or comfort, they can more freely participate since they’ll be working through us as an intermediary.

[00:25:00]

And two, it’s a way for us to make sure that everybody gets something at the end of this. In fact, I won’t actually be participating. Instead, I’m just gonna be backup in case someone for one reason or another isn’t able to finish their piece.

If that sounds interesting to you, you can find a link to the Google Form in the description, on our social media, on our website, in our Patreon Discord, I’m gonna be putting it all over the place and it will be up for two weeks.

So, our next episode, Die Card, Part 4, the finale of Die Card, will be releasing on the same day that sign-ups for the Fan Work Exchange are due. That day is Monday, January 12. I’ll see you then.

[Upbeat rock music carries out of the announcements.]

Kyle

“Do you hear the people sing?”

[Laughter.]

Roll me Convince Somebody, Tom. Fierce, and take a +1 for having Lucas Bang incite a riot. I don’t even know why Lucas Bang tackled—Lucas Bang doesn’t know why Lucas Bang tackled a man. He’s under a lot of stress right now.

Hallie

Because—

[Giggles.] He’s under a lot of stress.

Kyle

He’s prone to rash decisions.

Emily

Can I, like, help a friend? Can I do a move?

Kyle

How are you gonna help her with the riot?

Emily

[Laughs.] Can I throw something at one of the Quiclones?

Kyle

What’s your Compatibility Score?

Emily

I wanted to up it to 0.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Uh… we’ll describe this when it all happens, but you’re gonna get a +1 because Lucas Bang is tackling a Quiclone and another +1 because Irene is throwing a chair at somebody or something.

Tom

Can my mother, Alina, make a balloon sword?

[Giggling.]

Kyle

If you find her.

Tom

Can we not see her in the crowd?

Kyle

Well yeah, but she’s not gonna do it until the riot starts.

Tom

Alright, alright, alright. Fair point.

Emily

Fair… point?

Hallie

Ha!

Tom

Dice have been unimaginably cruel to me this past session, so you know, surely we’re in for a change of luck.

Emily

Hilda! Hilda!

Hallie

Hilda! Hilda!

Everyone (except Tom)

Hilda! Hilda! Hilda!

Tom

Yeah~!

[Rolls.] Oh, uh… that’s an 8!

Hallie

Hey~!

Emily

[Smiling.] Hilda! Hilda!

Kyle

Alright, so that is another mixed success on Convince Somebody. This one I am gonna let you choose your drawback.

Tom

I think it’s incredibly funny if the crowd demands something of Hilda in return for starting a riot, an action that only helps them.

[Upbeat rock music begins.]

Kyle

So, here’s what happens.

Tom (as Hilda)

Hey! Have you ever seen the movie Bug’s Life?

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Quique is talking to the Quiclones who are yelling at him but mostly yelling at Sparky. Lucas Bang, after being a little bit sad that he wasn’t allowed to be part of the kids club, has tackled one of the Quiclones. Irene, what do you do?

Emily

So, we were at Quique’s stand which means there’s probably a bunch of cards. Right?

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Yeah. He was giving out samples.

Emily

I want to start chucking card decks.

Tom

Throw a card at them. “AH!”

Ari

Death by a thousand cuts.

Emily

I plan to try to capture them, if we ever get things back online, but in the meantime I can’t do that so I’m just, like… the solid little decks, as hard as her little arms can throw.

Kyle

They’re terrified of them, absolutely mortified. They know what happened to their leader. They know what happened to Eddie. They’re terrified of card decks now. Because you know you can’t capture them right now, and they’re pretty sure you can’t, but they’re not 100% sure. So they’re just blocking with their hands. “Ah! Ah! Ah!”

Emily (as Irene)

Say hello to Eddie for me!

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Quiclone)

AHH!

Kyle

They’re all screaming. Hilda then just screams, I’m assuming in the food fight tone, just “RIOT!” Before everyone riots, you hear Sammy say:

Kyle (as Sammy)

[Weakly.] Please don’t ri—

Kyle (as party-goer)

[Screaming.] RIOT!

Kyle

And everyone just fucking… everyone goes for it. They start swarming the halls taking down the Quiclones. Alina pulls a balloon sword out of nowhere.

Tom

Yeah!

Kyle

She looks to you and nods and throws one to you as well.

Tom

Yes! Sword!

Kyle

Actually, she runs up and gives you a hug…

Kyle (as Alina)

I’m so proud of you.

Kyle

…and she runs off and bats another Quiclone in the head.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Alright, we’re gonna jump to the aftermath of the riot because frankly the Quiclones never stood a chance. Any particular details about the riot that you want to mention?

[00:30:00]

[Music ends.]

Tom

Can we menacingly start to break into the security office where the one-armed Quiclone is hiding out?

Emily

[Gasps.]

Ari

Yes.

Kyle (as Gus)

[Door banging.] Well hey, no one’s in here. I don’t know what you—

[Door banging.] Oh god, please! No!

[Door banging.]

Emily (as Irene)

If you want someone to think no one’s there, maybe you shouldn’t speak! … It’s too late.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

That’s when the door slams down. Yeah, everyone’s celebrating, everyone’s really excited. They’re like “yeah!” Some of the party is going back on.

[Classical electronic music and crowd ambience begin.]

Anything you all want to have done as a result of, like, any place you want the Quiclones to be or…?

Tom

Hilda has definitely not thought that far ahead.

Kyle

Alina does know what to do, though. Alina has everything organized. She’s putting people in place.

Kyle (as Alina)

Oh Lucas, it’s great to see you again. Okay, you can take those two men. Just pick them up, put them over there. Yes, that’s correct. Make sure you don’t let go of them. Real tight. They are skeletons though, so not too tight, okay?

[Music and SFX end.]

Kyle

Meanwhile, the crowd all calms down, and this is where the mixed success comes in, Hilda. They all turn and look at you.

Tom (as Hilda)

Uh… what’s going on?

Kyle (as party-goer)

What do we do next?

Tom (as Hilda)

Oh, well uh, probably listening to my mom would be a good start. She understands a lot. Um, and just staying safe and out of the way while everything gets handled. I mostly just wanted to make sure everybody was safe and not a hostage.

Kyle (as Sammy)

Well, I mean, we could just sit here and relax and—

[Loud booing.]

Oh, okay… Okay.

Kyle

Sammy just sheepishly goes back down and twiddles his thumbs while everyone else turns back to you, because what they want from you is a leader.

Tom

[Stammers, amused.] Alright. Fine. Very well.

Tom (as Hilda)

Very well. If this is thrust upon me, I guess I have no choice but to do this.

[Inwardly.] That sounds like something Irene would say…

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Tom (as Hilda)

Wait, no! Let him talk!

Tom

Hilda’s gonna point the balloon sword at Sammy.

Tom (as Hilda)

You there, ScubaCorp guy. You work here, right?

Kyle (as Sammy)

Yeah… Hey everybody, I’m Sammy. Um, I’m sure Mr. Scuba has everything taken care of and it’s just, you know, it’s—

Tom (as Hilda)

Boo! How do we get to his office? That’s probably where the villains are, right?

Kyle (as Sammy)

Oh, his office?

Tom (as Hilda)

Yeah.

Kyle (as Sammy)

I don’t think he wants people in his office.

Emily (as Irene)

There are already people in his office, and I think he would like the non-hostile individuals in his office rather than the ones that are holding, well, “were…”

Emily

She looks at the Quiclones.

Emily (as Irene)

…holding people hostage.

Kyle

At being reminded of all the chaos you sewed, of the riot that just ended, Sammy just does a big gulp, a big comical gulp.

Kyle (as Sammy)

Yeah, I guess… we should probably get going.

[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]

Kyle

So, you’re bringing Sammy with you to unlock the door. Are you bringing anyone else with you?

Emily

Well, Lucas Bang has shown how good he is in a crisis.

Hallie

Lucas is coming.

Emily

He really keeps his cool.

Hallie

No, Lucas is coming. That’s just… he’s gonna come with us.

Tom

Kyle, let me answer your question with another question.

Kyle

Yeah?

Tom

Is it even possible for me to get the others of the crowd to stay and not follow us? Because they seem very upset by Sammy’s idea of let’s just sit here and wait things out.

Kyle

They will follow what you tell them to do, but they will also follow you all the way up to the door, and there is a good chance of rioting once you’re gone.

Tom

I mean, what they do… as long as they don’t go out and hurt people, what they do is of no concern to Hilda.

Emily

Well, we don’t want them getting in harm’s way or in our way.

Tom

Eh… yeah, that’s probably for the best. Hilda will keep the crowd with us just for the sake of keeping an eye on them.

Emily

Oh! I… Oh—

Ari

Oh no!

Kyle

So you’re bringing a crowd with you into Oset Scuba’s office?

Emily

I meant leave them behind, so if we’re confronting…

Tom

Oh. Originally, yes, I was just gonna be like, leave everyone behind, but I’ve changed my mind.

Emily

[Uneasy, smiling.] Okay…

Tom

Hilda will lead the entire crowd.

Tom (as Hilda)

This is a bad idea.

Emily (as Irene)

You know, Hilda, that lady’s pregnant. Are we really—

Ari

Oh my god!

[Laughter.]

Hallie

It’s like Die Hard! There was a pregnant lady in Die Hard too.

Kyle (as Rasputin)

Please, I understand that I, Titi, am with child, but I am willing to come with rest of crowd.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

When deciding who to bring with, it’s not that I want to bring her, but I do want to take stock. Maybelline’s not in this room.

Ari

Oh.

Kyle

Roll me an Understand.

Hallie

Please! Maybelline doesn’t blend in with things. Understand is Books?

[00:35:00]

Kyle

Yep.

Hallie

Oh. Shit. Alright. I have a -2 in Books today. However, for Understand, I can use +Fierce for this move because I Shoot First, Ask Questions later.

Kyle

Oh~

Hallie

My Fierce is 0.

[Laughter.]

Tom

Better than Books?

Hallie

Moving on up. here we go.

[Rolls.] Oh boy. That’s a 9.

Tom

Nice.

Kyle

You know what Maybelline looks and dresses like, right?

Hallie

I sure do.

Kyle

You don’t see anyone in Maybelline’s outfit in the crowd.

Hallie

That is a horrible way to phrase that answer.

Tom

[Laughs.] That’s a mixed success.

Hallie

Okay. The other thing I wanted to do while all this was happening, I want to be like…

Hallie (as Sparky)

What the fuck was that?

Hallie

…to Lucas Bang.

Kyle (as Lucas)

What do you mean?

Hallie (as Sparky)

What was…? I mean, look, it was very cool the way the riot started.

Kyle (as Lucas)

Oh, I’m glad. Thank you. Yeah.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah, no, it was cool as hell, but what… what—why?

Kyle (as Lucas)

You were in danger. The kids were in danger. I just…

[Scary ambient music begins.]

Kyle

You notice he’s starting to get a little worked up. he’s quiet, and he keeps stammering, and he gets redder as he says it. He eventually just says:

Kyle (as Lucas)

Can we just not talk about this right now?

Hallie (as Sparky)

It’s been a rough night for you.

Kyle (as Lucas)

Yeah.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I just want you to be careful.

Kyle (as Lucas)

[Interrupting Sparky] Did you see Maybelline anywhere?

Tom

Oh…

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Deflated.] No. Did you?

Kyle (as Lucas)

Tell me if you see her.

Kyle

And he walks off to another part of the crowd.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay…

[Music ends.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] Okay. So we’re taking an entire crowd to raid Oset Scuba’s office?

Tom

Yeah, that’s right.

Hallie

Yeah, we sure are.

Tom

I admit that part of my out of character rationale for this is I think it’s one of the things that would most irritate Oset Scuba.

Hallie

Just having all these randos in his office.

Tom

A lot of people just being in there when he doesn’t want them to be.

Kyle

Right, because Oset is still just watching everyone over the cameras in his secret surveillance room.

Kyle (as Oset)

Ah yes, I have figured out exactly what their plot is, and everything there is to know about them. Now, simply to lock them out of my—

What the FUCK is everyone doing?! Why—?!

Hallie

[Giggles.]

Kyle

He sees that Sammy is the one that lets you in, and a single manly tear goes down his face.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Oset)

[Menacingly.] Judas…

[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change.]

Kyle

We’re gonna cut to Oset Scuba’s office. We’re gonna see a little grate in the corner of a vent. We’re gonna hear some sounds, some (whispering), and then with a loud…

Ari (as Mallea)

UH-LAY-UM!

Kyle

…the vent smashes open and goes to the floor and Strike Force Necromon starts to investigate Oset’s office.

[Lobby music begins.

I want to steal a mechanic from a game called Brindlewood Bay. Brindlewood Bay has a mechanic called Paint the Scene where, for particularly notable locations, everyone goes around answering a question that kind of emphasizes the scene.

We know a couple of things about Oset. We know that he is a super-rich teenager who laser-focuses on his hobbies, or as he’d call them, pursuits. Right now, his pursuit is collecting rare Necromon. We also know that he sounds like an Ayn Rand novel forced through a Panda Express fortune cookie.

So, keeping all of those facts about Oset Scuba in mind, what about this office exemplifies what a pretentious teenage tool he is?

Ari

I want to take my idea from a scene I really like. I think it’s Where’s the Pilot or one of those where there’s this executive man and behind him it’s like the same picture of him. Oh, the movie’s Airplane. I remember. I just said it in Spanish.

Kyle

Oh! Okay. He’s in, you know, a serious dueling pose, arms crossed, coat billowing. We’ll say that there is a mini figure, a collectable figurine of him, right in front of that as well.

Ari

I love it. Yes, please.

Hallie

On the note of collectable figurines, he also has whatever this world’s equivalent of Funko Pops is, but they’re all still in their boxes like collectors do because opening the box to hold the toy ruins its value. There’s just a whole shelf of them painstakingly arranged.

Kyle

They’re all previous champions of the Intermortal Necromon Championship. The only one that is opened right now is Lucas Bang. Oset does that every time he deals with a champion as a power play.

[Laughter.]

Tom

One wall of his office is fully covered in AI-generated art. The tackiest kind of “seems like it’s a fancy” oil painting, super famous 18th century or sci-fi looking thing, but it’s all just weirdly blurred details.

[00:40:00]

Kyle

[Smiling.] I hate this office so much. Why does he have a gamer pad?!

Hallie

Because he’s the worst.

Kyle

Alright, and Emily?

Emily

So, there was this viral chandelier…

Ari

Oh my god.

Emily

…that was like a bajillion dollars.

Kyle

[Oset voice.] “One bajillion dollars is but nothing to me, the world’s youngest trillionnaire.”

Emily

He has that chandelier.

Hallie

Oh my god…

Kyle

So, Strike Force Necromon, you all come in and you see this room. What do you do when you all get in?

[Music changes to silly stealth music.]

Tom

The Mossies are going to roll around the room to map out the floor, sneaky-like, like a little Roomba.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Aww.

Tom

[Makes cute Mossies/Roomba sounds.]

Hallie

Pokeyo wants to knock things over on the desk like a cat.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Thump. Thump. Thump! As they’re knocking things over, they run past a folder that says Records of Rutabaga, and it just gets spilled onto the floor.

Hallie

[Inhales sharply and fumes.]

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Kyle

Boidelrat runs around leaving clumps of dirt all over the floor including on the folder.

Hallie

You didn’t have to do that to me! That’s not even a GM Intrusion. I don’t get anything from… Why? I’m playing the game and you’re punishing me for playing the game. Why?!

Tom

[Emphatically.] Because GM Intrusions happen all the time.

Kyle

Alright, Mallea. Does Mallea do anything besides punch open the vent and be buff?

Ari

Uh, no, probably just that.

Kyle

Okay. I’ll say, Mallea, since you’re not causing chaos, you and the hand, you hear a bunch of voices outside of the closed door of the office that leads into the party space, and you hear a nervous shuffling as if someone’s almost trying to pick a lock or open the door but keeps hitting it with the key.

Ari

Mallea and the hand will stand in front of the door protectingly in an effort to block it. Or, Mallea will do that while the hand will frantically try to push something towards the door to actually bar it instead of just standing ineffectively in front of a door.

Tom

The Mossies are gonna try to climb on Mallea and be there to ambush.

Kyle

Roll me… I’m just gonna do a generic Fierce roll.

[Music fades.]

Ari

[Rolls.] That’s a 5 for me.

Tom

[Rolls.] A 7.

Kyle

Mallea, you go to block the door. The horde is incoming. Then, the door just slowly creeks open and you hear:

Kyle (as Sammy)

Alright everyone, so just be really gentle and— AH! AH! AH!

[Frantic silly music begins.]

Kyle

Mossies, you leap onto this possessed doll man as Sammy Ester who is nervously trying to open the door suddenly has moss balls chewing at his head. He runs around before just flumping over Oset Scuba’s desk and brushing you off.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Sammy)

AH! AH! AH!

Kyle

Mallea, Sammy is so frantic he just kind of pushes the doors open and you can’t push back the tide of people that come in following Hilda and the rest of the party as they all march into the room.

Ari

Mallea is extremely offended by this.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Everyone else, you’re in the room.

Tom

Do we see Irene?

Hallie

Yeah!

[Music ends.]

Tom

We’ve all gotta tell Irene what we did!

[Fifteen seconds of everyone doing adorable Necromon chatter.]

Emily

Irene, with all her self-discipline, does not put her hands over her ears and hugs all her Necromon.

[Sentimental guitar music plays.]

Kyle & Hallie

Aww.

Ari

Quique will also have—while Irene is having a heartful reunion with her Necromon, Quique is having a reunion with his hand.

[Laughter.]

Just like, “finally,” and take the other hand, put it in his pocket, and extend his right arm so that the hand jumps.

Kyle

Sammy meanwhile gets up from the side of the desk.

[Music fades.]

Kyle (as Sammy)

Uh, alright, so yeah, I um… Again, please don’t touch anything except for what we—

Hallie

Sparky’s already touching all of the files in search of the rutabaga file.

Kyle

Roll me Keep Your Cool.

Hallie

Ah-ba! Bada-ba-ba dada-da-do!

[Rolls.] Fucking… 7.

Kyle

You’re either sloppy, loud or slow.

Hallie

Sloppy.

Kyle

Okay. You just grab all the papers you can find? You’ll sort through them eventually.

Hallie

Oh yeah, it’s not— Yeah, I’m just, you know, right now is about speed. That’s all I’m doing.

Kyle (as Sammy)

Alright, so what did you all wanna—Oh, that’s probably it.

[Threatening sci-fi ambient music begins.]

Kyle

He motions, and you can see the one feature of the room that I want to describe which is that one of the other walls, the one conveniently full of trophies and bookshelves and all of that, has been ripped asunder.

[00:45:00]

You see the framework of the room, like basically the skeleton of the room has been twisted and turned like a giant creature just tore in and pulled out the wall leading to one of those secret back passageways that you were around earlier.

Hallie

Hell yeah.

Tom

Hilda is gonna try and grab Irene, Sparky and Quique and slip into the passageway without the crowd noticing.

[Music ends.]

Hallie

I’ll let this happen.

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Hallie

I will even leave Lucas Bang behind, because…

Tom

I mean, you can bring Lucas Bang along if  you want.

Hallie

No!

Tom

[Laughs.]

Hallie

This is a choice. A sad one.

[Ghostly credits music begins.]

Kyle

I’m not gonna have you roll for this, but I am gonna have you take a GM Intrusion. Who do you give the other point to?

Tom

Uh, I’ll give this one to Irene.

Kyle

Alright. You go down the hall, and almost no one notices.

Tom

Hmm…

Hallie

Hmm.

Emily

[Groans.]

Hallie

Didn’t like that.

[Music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Ari

I just want to say that the hand is just very confused about whatever has happened here, because the hand doesn’t understand Necrospeech.

Kyle

Nope, no clue.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Kyle, can I get “she goes where she do” on a Quest Friends shirt?

Kyle

We’ll leave it to the fans.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Fans! Please.

Tom

That plea has now been cut.

Kyle (as Fede)

“We’re not Team Bone, we’re Team Clone.”

[Laughter.]

Hallie

I also want that on a shirt.

Kyle

Roll me Convince Somebody, Tom. Fierce, and take a +1 for having Lucas Bang incite a riot.

Tom

Does anyone have any relevant skills to this kind of shenanigans? Anything at all?

Hallie

I have Spelunking!

Emily

[Laughs.]

Tom

That is not even close. Thank you.

Emily

I’m good at gardening and multitasking.

Ari

I am good at any skill that I would want, I guess, because my Adapt thing, but I haven’t picked any.

Kyle

Well, the one you picked was the slap-chop one.

Ari

Oh, that’s right.

Kyle

So you could karate chop real good, but…

Ari

I can karate chop real good.

Hallie

The only skill I have that could be relevant is Designated Driver in which I can spend 1 AP to have my means of transportation appear in a critical moment.

Kyle

That’s not a skill, that’s a move!

[Laughter.]

Hallie

God! Words are fucking confusing. Ugh!

Tom

That would be hilarious though, if your van somehow appeared on top of a skyscraper.

Hallie

Yes! I want to have my van just appear.

Kyle

By the way, Sparky, add this additional thing that you got to your car. I guess it has a remote start now.

Hallie

Yeah it does. I don’t have to use it, it’s not a skill, I’m just… I’m just—

Tom

Anyway.

Kyle (as Rasputin)

Please, I understand that I, Titi, am with child, but I am willing to come with rest of crowd.

Emily (as Irene)

That is Rasputin.

Kyle (as Rasputin)

Ah no, Rasputin, I am his biggest fan, but I am not Titi today, I—I am not Rasputin. I am not Rasputin today, I am Titi.

Ari

I just love that Rasputin has become like Season 2 Vespari.

Kyle (as Rasputin)

I am here at all times. You cannot escape me.

Hallie

Truly omnipresent.

Tom

I hate that the chandelier genuinely does look like it fits Oset Scuba’s style.

Kyle

God!

Kyle (as Oset)

This is the tree of life!

Ari

Oh my god.

Kyle (as Oset)

It gives one rejuvenation even in moments of death. You can see that it is white. That is because white is closer to green than it is to blue.

[Laughter.]

Ari

What is happening?

Hallie

What?! Okay.

Emily

That’s not true at all…

Kyle (as Oset)

Let me show you around my Animal Crossing village.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Oset)

I kicked out Kyle. I thought he was a bit of a dweeb.