45. Crepe Escape (Part 3)

[00:00:00] Previously, on Quest Friends Hereafter.

[00:00:04] Why is your eel friend in a card?

[00:00:09] His name is Sammy!

[00:00:11] You need like legendary magic, and we all know that these things don't exist.

[00:00:17] The name's Beer Steinsman.

[00:00:20] You ever need something done, give me a call.

[00:00:24] Alright, but like legally, right?

[00:00:26] You see an invitation to a celebration party for the brand new hip musical, Swanshine.

[00:00:37] Lucy's Lover's Grape will open the door to your heart.

[00:00:42] What's in the room? What's in the room?

[00:00:44] You see Big Jake Hell.

[00:00:48] Lucy, just in time.

[00:00:51] You are in this fiery jail cell with the torment of thousands, probably millions, billions of souls.

[00:01:24] Jail cells making this kind of burning Milky Way galaxy behind you, or like a nebula.

[00:01:30] This is the space where demons go to reflect on their sins.

[00:01:35] And in front of you, a demon who now has long draping horns that pool at his feet,

[00:01:42] where normally they're quite small.

[00:01:45] Big Jake Hell is standing in front of you, one hand petting Woo Blue,

[00:01:50] and the other motioning to the chairs that he has created for you.

[00:01:54] So what's, uh, what's, what's...

[00:01:57] And sparky gestures to everything.

[00:01:59] What's, what's this about?

[00:02:01] What's this about, Jake?

[00:02:02] Well, uh, this is Cell of Sin.

[00:02:07] A place that, whether you literally visit it or not, is stuck with a demon

[00:02:14] from the moment they come into being until they go to the void beyond the bottom levels of the Afterworlds.

[00:02:23] Are we in the, are you in the Afterworlds?

[00:02:26] Hard to tell.

[00:02:27] It's a place that is not bound by any specific layer of existence.

[00:02:34] I don't know exactly where it is or if it's a place you physically can go.

[00:02:38] All I know is that it is, it's where I belong.

[00:02:42] Okay.

[00:02:43] Okay.

[00:02:44] Sure.

[00:02:44] Okay.

[00:02:47] Sparky sits and crosses her arms and her legs and just sits and stares at him and waits.

[00:02:53] Yes.

[00:02:54] I'm just waiting for you to say more than that.

[00:02:57] All right.

[00:02:58] Fair enough.

[00:02:59] Um, suppose it's hard where to start.

[00:03:04] Would you like to begin with my actions?

[00:03:07] And he points to the businesses or where they ended.

[00:03:11] And he points to the book.

[00:03:14] Oh, and sorry.

[00:03:15] I'm sorry.

[00:03:15] I like to think he hit something in the room also that made that go.

[00:03:18] I'm so sorry.

[00:03:20] I'm a, I'm, I'm, it's, it's, I'm a big boy in a small room.

[00:03:27] Over the course of my time as a living man, I acquired a great many businesses with which

[00:03:34] to punish the sinful through far worse actions of my own.

[00:03:40] And on Valentine's day, no less, I created a crepe that damned me to this form for eternity.

[00:03:49] That feels a little bit unbalanced.

[00:03:51] Sounds a little excessive to me.

[00:03:54] Yeah.

[00:03:54] Like you made a bad crepe and now you have a sin room.

[00:03:57] Well, it's not just the crepe.

[00:03:58] It's what the crepe is about.

[00:04:00] Okay.

[00:04:02] No, I don't need to go into philosophy or rambling or any sort of poor justification for what I did.

[00:04:09] I am begging you not to philosophize.

[00:04:12] What drives the three of you?

[00:04:14] It's a very specific question.

[00:04:16] What drives you?

[00:04:17] Well, what, what, what?

[00:04:19] I suppose I was just asking what motivated, why are you here?

[00:04:23] What made you decide I am going to break into Daha to figure out what's in a secret room.

[00:04:29] And then when I see the man whose property I broke into, I will then sit down in a chair

[00:04:37] and listen to him tell me his life story.

[00:04:40] Okay.

[00:04:41] Well, in our defense, you did offer to tell us your life story as soon as we were in this room.

[00:04:46] And then you said a lot of interesting things such as this is a sin cell.

[00:04:50] So interest, is that what motivates you, Sparky?

[00:04:53] Yeah, sure.

[00:04:55] I'm interested.

[00:04:57] What about the two of you?

[00:04:58] Any points to Kike and Irene?

[00:05:00] I mean, if I'm perfectly honest, not to throw Sparky over there, the proverbial boss here,

[00:05:07] but I just, I just came along for the adventure.

[00:05:10] Sparky just, you know, wanted to do this.

[00:05:13] And I like mysteries.

[00:05:17] They had to call in an expert.

[00:05:19] Sparky, Irene says to the girl in the corner.

[00:05:23] The expert was clearly me, but also, of course.

[00:05:27] Okay, well, it's also me.

[00:05:28] I'm an investigative reporter.

[00:05:30] But like, we did a really kick-ass job on your room there.

[00:05:36] Well, thank you for sharing.

[00:05:39] Mine was what I believed to be justice.

[00:05:42] When I was a, not just a younger man, when I was a man, I saw so much wrong in the world

[00:05:50] and didn't know how to fix it.

[00:05:53] And while I was lost, I was aimless.

[00:05:56] And that's when I met Lucy.

[00:05:59] Lucy was the one who sparked me into action, who taught me that there were things that could

[00:06:06] be done.

[00:06:07] Now, Lucy's approach was grisly, was ghastly.

[00:06:12] They believed that to improve the world was to rid it of what was wrong.

[00:06:18] As someone seeking an easy solution, that was what I wanted.

[00:06:23] So, I fell, both emotionally and, and he points to the Longhorns, literally.

[00:06:31] They taught me everything I know, the way of acquiring businesses, putting up a honorable

[00:06:38] front, and using it to make all sorts of shady deals that, through the process of damning

[00:06:44] ourselves, helped us find those who were doing horrendous things.

[00:06:48] And once we found them, we used their sin, their avarice, their lust, their pride, whatever

[00:06:56] sin have you, to burn them.

[00:06:58] And we did that a great, great many times.

[00:07:02] Originally, it was just the two of us.

[00:07:04] Eventually, we got a gang.

[00:07:07] The gang called Lucy by many names.

[00:07:10] The Morningstar, Mother Nature, the Prince of Darkness, Lucifer.

[00:07:17] Eventually, we each had our own right-hand man.

[00:07:19] Philippe was there with me from the start, and, well, Lucy had their own.

[00:07:25] A relentless mercenary for hire.

[00:07:29] Like Lucy, he also didn't keep many names himself, but, uh, I believe the one he gave

[00:07:35] you was Beer Steinsman.

[00:07:37] Beer doesn't do things for free, Sparky.

[00:07:40] You need to watch yourself.

[00:07:42] Sparky doesn't respond.

[00:07:44] She's just waiting for him to keep going.

[00:07:45] Eventually, I realized that we were just burning things, leaving a wake of pain and bodies behind

[00:07:53] us.

[00:07:54] There was nothing that grew on the lands that we raised.

[00:07:57] There was only ashes.

[00:08:01] But I could never see the wrong in Lucy.

[00:08:05] And when, um, when they asked me to make something special for Valentine's Day, something that

[00:08:11] would open hearts, honestly, it's really foolish of me.

[00:08:15] Like, they were like, hey, make something that opens hearts and opens literal things.

[00:08:19] And, you know, we're going to go right outside this section of Bite headquarters, specifically

[00:08:24] at this time of day when the fewest people are around.

[00:08:27] It's the perfect Valentine.

[00:08:28] Like, I need to be clear.

[00:08:29] I knew perfectly well what was happening, but I couldn't help myself.

[00:08:36] And I think even if I knew what Lucifer was after, I still would have done it.

[00:08:42] Imps die stumbling into flames.

[00:08:44] They follow the will of someone else.

[00:08:48] Demons.

[00:08:49] Well, there's no redemption for us.

[00:08:52] We make ourselves.

[00:08:53] And that's why I know with certainty that I knew what I was doing that day.

[00:09:09] So, anyways, my rambling story about myself aside, let's get to, uh, the star of the show,

[00:09:15] he says casually and nervously petting the side of this book, which purrs in response.

[00:09:23] This is the Necromonicon.

[00:09:26] This thing right here, this makes creatures too powerful for this world to handle.

[00:09:34] It is something the Bureau was working on, something that makes Necromon.

[00:09:41] I don't know how.

[00:09:42] All I know is that anyone who wants this cannot have it.

[00:09:48] And trust me, many have tried.

[00:09:50] And that is why here and here alone is where it shall stay until it follows me into the abyss at the end of existence.

[00:10:01] Is there a reason the back room of Diehop is the safest place for the Necromonicon?

[00:10:09] Necromonicon, Sparky Malarkey.

[00:10:13] Necromonicon.

[00:10:16] Necromonicon.

[00:10:19] Necromonicon.

[00:10:22] This is why I am here.

[00:10:25] None in particular, but I couldn't think of anything better myself.

[00:10:28] And to be frank, Philippe is great, but he's not much of an ideas guy.

[00:10:33] They say two heads are better than one, but between me and him, we still only have one head, so.

[00:10:40] Then how did you come to gain control of the Necromonicon?

[00:10:47] Necromonicon.

[00:10:48] Sparky Malarkey.

[00:10:49] Is there a short-term name for this book?

[00:10:52] Is there the Necro book?

[00:10:54] Can we just call it the Necro book?

[00:10:55] The Necro.

[00:10:55] Can we call it the Necro?

[00:10:57] The Necro.

[00:10:57] Necro.

[00:10:57] How did you come to take control of the Necro?

[00:11:00] Oh, I mean, that's a, that's like a prefix for multiple words, but, uh.

[00:11:05] Okay, but we all know the context of this one.

[00:11:08] All right, all right, yeah.

[00:11:09] Well, the, um, as I mentioned, Lucy tried to use the crepe to get it.

[00:11:16] Luckily, that attempt was thwarted, but only because, well, someone else was trying to get it at the same time.

[00:11:25] In the fury, I, I don't know what went over me.

[00:11:28] I just, I took it and ran.

[00:11:30] I'd like to say it was the last good thing I did, but, uh, considering I died holding it, I don't think that's the case.

[00:11:37] It ended up here with me, and I decided to keep it that way.

[00:11:41] The, the, the, the love crepe.

[00:11:43] How, how was the crepe going to get the Necro?

[00:11:46] Well, the crepe, as you can see, uh, simply put, it opens any door in front of it.

[00:11:52] I'm so, I'm sorry.

[00:11:53] It's not just like this specific escape room.

[00:11:56] The crepe unlocks it like it was made for this escape room.

[00:11:59] This crepe unlocks any door.

[00:12:03] Philippe was very proud of the recipe.

[00:12:05] He is quite the chef.

[00:12:07] He's quite the chef.

[00:12:09] This, this crepe with what's in it, Kike?

[00:12:12] Lemon?

[00:12:13] Oregano?

[00:12:14] Uh, Kike will say all of the ingredients that I don't remember because it's been, like, weeks.

[00:12:20] Lemon, oregano, vanilla, and enoki mushrooms.

[00:12:23] Like, these four ingredients unlock anything?

[00:12:28] What happens if you eat the crepe?

[00:12:30] Do you unlock the secrets to your stomach?

[00:12:33] Yeah.

[00:12:34] Do you become the key if you eat the crepe?

[00:12:37] Kike's asking the right questions.

[00:12:38] What?

[00:12:39] Well, I don't know if anyone's actually been able to eat the crepe before it, you know.

[00:12:43] I'm gonna eat the crepe.

[00:12:44] It's magic.

[00:12:45] I'm gonna eat the crepe.

[00:12:46] It's already used as magic, Sparky.

[00:12:49] You can see it's not flaming.

[00:12:50] It's not blue.

[00:12:51] It's, it's...

[00:12:52] The crepe is awful.

[00:12:54] God.

[00:12:55] It's not designed to be eaten, Sparky.

[00:12:57] And I, I, I think it's pretty all right.

[00:13:00] You know, an eclectic mix, but delicious in its own way.

[00:13:03] Just, you know, vile and repulsive and the reason behind my trauma.

[00:13:07] But, you know, besides that...

[00:13:09] Uh-huh.

[00:13:12] She can't eat anymore.

[00:13:14] So anyways, yes, all doors.

[00:13:16] I feel like that's a pretty clear statement.

[00:13:19] If it is a door and it is in the nearby vicinity, when the crepe is made, it opens.

[00:13:24] Okay.

[00:13:25] Okay.

[00:13:25] And is it like it's a one crepe per door kind of a thing?

[00:13:29] No, all doors, Sparky.

[00:13:30] Yes, yes.

[00:13:31] No, I understand.

[00:13:31] In the nearby vicinity.

[00:13:33] Like it will like, oh, like the one crepe works on, like it will open three doors if there's

[00:13:39] three doors in the vicinity?

[00:13:41] Yes.

[00:13:41] So we made the crepe in a restaurant.

[00:13:43] Yes.

[00:13:44] Right next to bot headquarters.

[00:13:47] Okay.

[00:13:47] Therefore opening the doors there and also in the headquarters.

[00:13:51] Oh my God.

[00:13:52] Okay.

[00:13:53] Okay.

[00:13:54] You opened just so many fucking doors.

[00:13:57] Okay.

[00:13:57] Okay.

[00:13:57] So the, so the crepe, so the crepe opened all these doors.

[00:14:00] And now you have the necro.

[00:14:03] I'm taking notes, man.

[00:14:05] Yes.

[00:14:05] All right.

[00:14:05] To simplify the story.

[00:14:07] I wanted to create justice to the world.

[00:14:11] Yeah.

[00:14:12] I met Lucifer, the morning star, mother nature, the prince of darkness, who convinced me that

[00:14:19] destroying sinners or burning them was the way by which to fix the world.

[00:14:25] Yes.

[00:14:25] We assembled our ranks.

[00:14:27] I started getting skeptical, but unfortunately I fell quite literally, emotionally and romantically

[00:14:36] and philosophically behind Lucifer, the morning star, mother nature, prince of darkness.

[00:14:41] Okay.

[00:14:42] Yes.

[00:14:42] Who then tricked me, although I clearly knew what was going on into making this lover's

[00:14:49] crepe on Valentine's day, which then created an explosion that opened up doors, including

[00:14:58] those into bot headquarters.

[00:15:00] Lucifer, the morning star, mother nature, prince of darkness, then abandoned me to go get

[00:15:05] the necromonicon.

[00:15:07] And I, in a moment of clarity, of greed, of lust, what have you, went to get it myself.

[00:15:15] I died in the process and awoke here with the book.

[00:15:20] That is why the book is in the cell with me.

[00:15:23] That is why I own so many businesses, although they are legitimate now.

[00:15:27] And for the rehabilitation of those who have been wronged and taken down a dark path.

[00:15:33] And now you are here.

[00:15:35] Okay.

[00:15:35] So we've caught up.

[00:15:36] Yes.

[00:15:37] I suppose we have.

[00:15:39] Oh, thank goodness.

[00:15:40] We just wanted, um, I think a pizza for sure.

[00:15:47] And, um, uh, oh, oh, Irene, kiddo, kiddo.

[00:15:52] Uh, yeah, we, uh, we finally got someone.

[00:15:54] Uh, what, what, uh, what do you want?

[00:15:57] Earl, who is standing in the center of this just vein of ice, turns back and he looks at

[00:16:05] you if, as you've made your way back to the entrance, following this trail of just freezing

[00:16:12] cold to its inevitably interesting nexus.

[00:16:17] Finally.

[00:16:19] Uh, what was that?

[00:16:21] Uh, pizza.

[00:16:23] Okay, yeah.

[00:16:24] So, uh, I guess, is there a way to do, like, a pizza on a pizza?

[00:16:30] Like, you flip, I know it's weird, but, like, a covered pizza almost.

[00:16:33] Maybe you, like, flip them around.

[00:16:35] I, I'm just trying to make this day really special for me.

[00:16:38] Can't you make it?

[00:16:40] What?

[00:16:40] Well, uh, um, I mean, uh.

[00:16:42] You and Aubrey?

[00:16:45] Well, Irene, I don't think we can.

[00:16:48] Oh, no.

[00:16:49] Oh, no.

[00:16:50] I insist, you know, making it is part of the experience.

[00:16:56] It's a real bonding activity.

[00:16:59] Bonding in, in the flames of the pizza.

[00:17:02] If pauses and does a little, keep playing.

[00:17:08] What was that, kiddo?

[00:17:10] I want to keep playing while you make a pizza.

[00:17:15] Oh, oh, okay.

[00:17:17] Okay, uh, Aubrey, let's, uh, why don't you go play with Irene and I'll make the pizza?

[00:17:23] No, I don't want to play with you.

[00:17:27] Aubrey looks like she's gonna interrupt, but the other voice says,

[00:17:33] Please, she'll be fine.

[00:17:35] You two go take care of your little pizza making and, uh, I'll make sure your guest here has, uh, good time.

[00:17:44] Oh, oh, okay, okay.

[00:17:46] And Earl and Aubrey walk off again, leaving you in the company of just someone who's just real fucking hot.

[00:17:55] This person is tall and straight-faced.

[00:17:59] They have the perfect mixture in both clothing and posture of a very formal, attentive aristocrat,

[00:18:08] while also kind of having the laid-back vibe of a biker.

[00:18:11] Like, they have a biker jacket with underneath an aristocratic outfit with, like, a cravat poking out from the center.

[00:18:21] Skin tight, um, I'm trying to think of a good fabric.

[00:18:25] They're not jeans.

[00:18:26] They're kind of like, you know, that shiny leather.

[00:18:28] They're like pleather.

[00:18:30] Yeah, yeah.

[00:18:31] Yeah.

[00:18:32] This person, again, has just a absolutely gorgeous chiseled face as a straight out of a sculpture, a classic sculpture.

[00:18:40] They have short white hair that pokes out in a way that is beautifully messy.

[00:18:46] And poking out of their hair are long horns that reach down across their back and down to their heels,

[00:18:56] like long, flowing, beautiful hair pressed against their backside.

[00:19:02] And in the grooves of these horns is green light with icicles that drip down the sides, frozen in place.

[00:19:15] Essentially, aristocratic greaser David Bowie demon is kind of what I'm going for here.

[00:19:22] So this is David Bowie playing Jareth the Goblin King.

[00:19:26] Yeah, exactly.

[00:19:28] Okay, I'm into it.

[00:19:30] They don't move at all.

[00:19:31] They're standing perfectly at attention.

[00:19:33] Their eyes track Earl and Aubrey as they leave.

[00:19:37] And as soon as they leave, look down to you.

[00:19:41] So, um, is this what you're up to nowadays?

[00:19:46] Today.

[00:19:47] Today?

[00:19:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:49] Yesterday, I was someone else doing something else.

[00:19:53] It's not like this was my preference, but we do what we have to do.

[00:20:01] How's the boyfriend?

[00:20:02] You can see the rivets, the little lines in Lucy's horns.

[00:20:09] We're starting to melt the, like, iciness.

[00:20:13] When you say, how's the boyfriend?

[00:20:16] They full on start steaming and going straight from solid to gas.

[00:20:21] And the area around you starts to steam as well.

[00:20:25] Cute.

[00:20:26] Cute.

[00:20:27] Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[00:20:29] Yes, cute.

[00:20:31] But I'm afraid, young one, I'm on business right now.

[00:20:35] So if you could go and have your little playtime with, um, the sad middle-aged man

[00:20:44] and his entourage somewhere else, that would be greatly appreciated.

[00:20:51] Why?

[00:20:53] Because unfortunately, some of us actually have things to do, plans to put in place.

[00:21:01] You think I don't?

[00:21:04] Then why didn't you take my deal if?

[00:21:08] I don't take deals.

[00:21:11] I make them.

[00:21:12] You can feel the ground against you getting hotter and hotter.

[00:21:17] Well, in that case, why don't we make a deal right now?

[00:21:20] It's a pretty simple one.

[00:21:22] You leave this venue, this emporium of fun and pizza, and we don't find out at what temperature

[00:21:32] shadows burn.

[00:21:34] Dramatic as always.

[00:21:37] Fickle as always.

[00:21:40] I won't stick around for too long.

[00:21:43] I'm just making a point.

[00:21:47] Well, unfortunately, I don't have time for the points of children.

[00:21:53] And with that, Lucy moves their hand to the right and green flames fly across the entire

[00:22:00] like desk that they're standing behind.

[00:22:04] That's when, that's when Earl pops out.

[00:22:07] Well, hey there, kiddo.

[00:22:09] So we got to talk a bit about that pizza on three.

[00:22:13] Okay.

[00:22:16] Okay.

[00:22:17] We should leave.

[00:22:54] Just like how this episode has two plot threads.

[00:22:57] I've got two promos for you for today's announcement break, but I think you're going to be interested

[00:23:03] in them, especially if you really liked our first season flashback future.

[00:23:08] Because it's been a couple of years since we wrapped up that sci-fi campaign.

[00:23:12] And you probably, if you liked it, want more.

[00:23:15] Well, you can find more at explorerswanted.fm.

[00:23:21] Explorers Wanted is a weekly Numenera actual play podcast about exploration, intrigue, and

[00:23:26] friendship.

[00:23:27] Each episode is a tightly edited package of theatrical scenes, humor, delicious die rolls,

[00:23:32] and a healthy dash of chaos energy.

[00:23:35] Their current campaign, Hearts in Orbit, begins at episode 182.

[00:23:40] It is a homebrewed, gas-mask, chic aesthetic that's torn in economic and ecological crisis.

[00:23:48] And within this crisis, a crew of misfits need to build a community for those that the Empire

[00:23:54] oppresses.

[00:23:55] These heroes include an escaped convict and aspirational revolutionary, an amnesiac thief

[00:24:02] with an ability to walk through walls, and something that'll be very familiar to anyone

[00:24:07] listening to this episode, a journalist leaning into a life of crime.

[00:24:13] Now, this is a peculiar bunch.

[00:24:15] And you're probably going to ask, how can these three stand against an empire?

[00:24:18] What you really should be asking is, how have they survived this long at all?

[00:24:24] Because I want to note that not only is there a dog show gone horribly wrong, but there is

[00:24:29] written, in all caps, very, period, dangerous, period, stairs.

[00:24:35] So that's a level of competence we're dealing with.

[00:24:39] In addition to their Numenera campaign, Explorers Wanted does a bunch of other games.

[00:24:44] For example, episode 127, Suddenly Ham Bath is a Under the Neighborhood crossover.

[00:24:50] The other one I want to point out is of Paperwork and Panties, where they play We Are All Mad

[00:24:56] Here.

[00:24:57] That's episode 48.

[00:24:58] It's Fairy Tales Gone Weird.

[00:25:00] And I'm pointing out this one because Daniel, the GM of Explorers Wanted, wrote that it was

[00:25:06] Fairy Tales Gone Weird.

[00:25:07] This is an old one, and while I don't like the audio quality, listeners seem to be fond of

[00:25:12] it.

[00:25:12] And if there's anything that describes how I feel about early flashback future, that sure

[00:25:19] is it.

[00:25:20] If any of that caught your interest, you can get more info at explorerswanted.fm or just

[00:25:25] search Explorers Wanted wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:25:28] So that's one way to get Numenera.

[00:25:30] But the other way is to go on our Patreon.

[00:25:33] Now, I talk about our Patreon a lot because it has a lot of cool things.

[00:25:37] It has short stories.

[00:25:38] It has bonus podcasts.

[00:25:40] It has a whole bonus podcast series where we just talk about games we've played.

[00:25:44] But there is a new addition that I think is genuinely interesting, especially if you're

[00:25:48] looking for a gift for the holiday season.

[00:25:50] You see, gifts are really important to me.

[00:25:52] And in my opinion, the best kind of gift you can give someone is something that they would

[00:25:57] want, but they wouldn't buy themselves.

[00:26:00] And considering that we have quite a few listeners, then we have Patreons.

[00:26:05] A Patreon membership is the perfect gift to give someone, baby!

[00:26:09] That's right.

[00:26:10] If you go to patreon.com slash questfriends slash gift, you can gift a brief membership

[00:26:16] to the Quest Friends Patreon to anyone of your choice.

[00:26:19] And if you're not sure who to give it to, I did hear that there are, you know, there's

[00:26:24] a handful of people who subscribe to our Patreon already free, and I don't think any of them

[00:26:28] would scoff at a gift.

[00:26:31] I don't know how to run this promo without acting jokingly scummy, but genuinely, I think it's

[00:26:42] really cool that Patreon has opened up gifts.

[00:26:44] If you know someone who might be interested in this but hasn't paid, you can give them

[00:26:48] access.

[00:26:49] Even if it's just for a month, they get an entire backlog access to everything their tier

[00:26:54] covers, which we're talking years upon years of content, including all of our flashback

[00:26:59] future content.

[00:27:00] I've also been thinking of bundling some of that content into purchasable packages.

[00:27:05] So right now you can purchase the Ghost of Campaigns Past, which is that bonus podcast series.

[00:27:10] But if you'd be interested in me bundling the zines that we used to do or all of the flashback

[00:27:17] future short stories or anything like that, let me know and I would love to make it a bundle.

[00:27:23] All right, that's all I got for you today.

[00:27:25] Our next episode is going to be a very special Hallmark.

[00:27:29] I say as if every Hallmark isn't special and weird in its own way.

[00:27:33] And then hopefully two weeks after that, we will be ready to learn about the announcement

[00:27:39] of Swanshine.

[00:27:40] I'll talk to you then.

[00:27:50] So you said people have approached you about trying to get this necro.

[00:27:55] Monicon, yes.

[00:27:57] And who was the most recent one?

[00:27:59] Well, by itself, allegedly, although I know quite well that they're working for that pop

[00:28:08] singer Sochi, I think her name is.

[00:28:11] Sochi, right.

[00:28:12] Kike will just like, I don't know if he was eating, he was maybe trying to eat the crepe

[00:28:19] and he will like, you're right, Sparky, you can't eat this crepe.

[00:28:26] Yeah, it's an awful crepe, real hard to swallow.

[00:28:29] Irene is going to quietly reach out for the crepe because both Sparky and Kike have tasted

[00:28:37] this crepe now.

[00:28:38] I like to think that she's not in frame, just her hand reaching in from off frame.

[00:28:43] And it's just a little bit short.

[00:28:45] It's really trying.

[00:28:46] She's slowly like starting to wilt as she gets sleepy as the dead bull.

[00:28:53] As it fades off.

[00:28:55] She does little grabbing hands.

[00:28:57] You know, just for investigative purposes here, for being part of Sparky's reporter helper

[00:29:05] sometimes, do you have any information ideas as to why this person, this latest person that

[00:29:11] wanted to get this book might have wanted it for?

[00:29:14] You know, any things that you've heard?

[00:29:18] Just for curiosity of what people wanted this for necessarily, what plans?

[00:29:24] I'm going to be honest, I can't say for sure.

[00:29:29] I don't know her well enough.

[00:29:31] It's a shame.

[00:29:32] I wish I could tell you that I knew someone close to her, you know, friend, family.

[00:29:37] Yeah, sure.

[00:29:37] Yeah.

[00:29:38] Yeah, that would be that would be a good thing to know.

[00:29:42] Because as I said, this book is power, fundamental and unbridled.

[00:29:48] And yeah, I asked the three of you what motivates you.

[00:29:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:53] Whatever motivates her, whatever sin, that would very likely be it.

[00:29:58] Well, like, which of the, like, are we going by the seven?

[00:30:01] Like the set, like the classic ones?

[00:30:03] You know, judging by what I know about Sochi, which isn't much, is she seems to really like

[00:30:11] controlling people.

[00:30:13] That's a sin, right?

[00:30:14] I would say for going by the seven, probably something like envy maybe or pride maybe, you know?

[00:30:23] That's interesting.

[00:30:24] Okay.

[00:30:24] Yeah.

[00:30:25] If we knew someone who had recently gotten close to Sochi, that could be a good start.

[00:30:33] It sure would be nice to, you know, have close contact with that person and not, you know,

[00:30:40] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:41] KK will just stare at his phone with his, like, 50 unreplied messages.

[00:30:47] Yeah.

[00:30:49] All right.

[00:30:50] So listen, Jake, you've got this room and you've got all of this.

[00:30:55] And I have been difficult through this whole thing.

[00:30:57] And I'm sorry.

[00:31:01] Go on.

[00:31:02] But you know what?

[00:31:03] You know what?

[00:31:04] You know how sometimes when you hire a security firm, they break into a place first to identify

[00:31:09] flaws in the security?

[00:31:10] We kind of did that for you.

[00:31:12] So you're also welcome.

[00:31:13] Like, we got through the room.

[00:31:14] So like, do you want, do you need anything from us?

[00:31:18] Do we need to help protect the book?

[00:31:20] Do we have to investigate stuff?

[00:31:22] Because, you know, I don't know anyone who Sochi is close to, but I bet if given some

[00:31:28] time, I could.

[00:31:29] Yeah, you know, hypothetically, we might, you know, be able to know of a recent event that

[00:31:37] is coming up soon.

[00:31:38] And, you know, hypothetically, hypothetically could get an in with, you know, with certain

[00:31:44] passes, I suppose.

[00:31:47] Hypothetically.

[00:31:48] Roll me convince somebody with heart and with advantage.

[00:31:51] And I'm going to have Hallie roll it.

[00:31:53] But she gets the advantage from Ari pointing out the party.

[00:31:56] Oh, wait, is my heart good today?

[00:31:59] Let me see.

[00:32:00] My heart is good today.

[00:32:01] It's a plus two.

[00:32:03] Bop.

[00:32:04] Bop.

[00:32:05] Bop.

[00:32:06] A seven plus two is a nine.

[00:32:09] Can I use my loaded dice, which is 14?

[00:32:12] Yes, yes, yes.

[00:32:14] To help Sparky, you know, like teamwork makes the dream work.

[00:32:19] I'm going to choose if it's all right, what the drawback would be of a mixed success, if

[00:32:23] that's all right, Sparky.

[00:32:25] Mm hmm.

[00:32:25] Because I'm going to flip this around just a little bit where he's not convinced, but

[00:32:29] he tells you exactly what he would want you to do.

[00:32:32] Yeah.

[00:32:32] The whole like, oh, man, I would hate if you went and found illegal textbooks on this

[00:32:37] website.

[00:32:38] Yeah, he is going to he's going to say, I really respect that Sparky, but this is my sin to

[00:32:43] deal with.

[00:32:44] I can't ask you to.

[00:32:45] And then he hears Kike say, hypothetically, is if there's a vent and he's like, you cannot

[00:32:51] whatever you do, do not go to that musical announcement party.

[00:32:58] I cannot enforce enough.

[00:33:00] You cannot do that.

[00:33:01] I do not trust easily.

[00:33:04] Neither do I.

[00:33:05] And I cannot ask those I trust to be put in danger.

[00:33:09] Neither do I.

[00:33:10] Hey, we have some things in common.

[00:33:16] And this is still the little effects of the.

[00:33:20] Then you understand, sir, why under all circumstances, you cannot go to that party.

[00:33:29] I want to acknowledge the trusting thing.

[00:33:31] The problem is that I can't think of how to do it except to be like, OK, and then cross

[00:33:36] my fingers exactly like Hopper's got shade in season one.

[00:33:40] So I'm just doing the same thing again.

[00:33:42] Um, Mr. Big J.

[00:33:45] Kel.

[00:33:46] Yes, there.

[00:33:47] Miss Irene Hawthorne.

[00:33:49] Thank you for that respectful address.

[00:33:52] I would just like to inform you.

[00:33:55] She blinks and one eye blinks a little before the other one.

[00:34:00] And she points her finger.

[00:34:02] I hate that.

[00:34:03] I hate that so much.

[00:34:05] Sleepily points her finger.

[00:34:07] You clearly value trust and honesty.

[00:34:11] So I am going to be very honest with you.

[00:34:15] We will probably go to that party.

[00:34:18] What?

[00:34:19] Actually, yeah, we probably will.

[00:34:22] How many AP would I have to give you to make the animatronic robot at least one of them

[00:34:29] Necroman?

[00:34:31] Uh, you give me two.

[00:34:32] I'll give you two.

[00:34:33] OK.

[00:34:34] I would like to use wild Necroman capture.

[00:34:40] OK.

[00:34:42] Just, you know, mess around a little bit, make it a Necroman, use my little AP.

[00:34:48] Ideally, it would be something fire extinguishing adjacent abilities.

[00:34:56] And I want it to be mine.

[00:34:59] Yeah, we're going to say that Everlasting Eel was a water whip, a close relative of the

[00:35:07] Lillirwhip that explicitly shoots water.

[00:35:10] So how are you going to try to capture this Mon as the confrontation begins?

[00:35:16] We're going to do a short one this time.

[00:35:18] Three and three.

[00:35:19] Lucy's goal is to burn down a Chuck Beaver's emporium of fun and pizza with you inside of

[00:35:26] it.

[00:35:26] Or, you know, they'll settle for your host's family.

[00:35:31] What is your goal?

[00:35:32] I wouldn't care that much about the sad man and the random professional.

[00:35:39] But if told Irene that she wouldn't hurt them.

[00:35:43] So my goal is I want all the living people and myself out.

[00:35:52] Okay.

[00:35:53] So your goal is to get you, Earl, Aubrey, and Oset out of the building.

[00:35:57] Yeah.

[00:35:58] Okay.

[00:35:58] And that green fire is already spreading fast.

[00:36:02] Like it is racing.

[00:36:04] It seems to be almost reaching like tendrils towards Earl, towards Aubrey, towards Oset,

[00:36:12] and towards you.

[00:36:13] Actually, no, it doesn't.

[00:36:15] Lucy doesn't give a shit about Oset.

[00:36:17] It's just reaching towards the three of you.

[00:36:18] My ideal would be to harness this necroman to sweep us out of the building.

[00:36:30] However, if that's not going to work, I am also willing to give up my mantle, duck behind

[00:36:38] something, transform into Rasputin, summon several horses, transform back into Irene, and

[00:36:47] then have us all ride away.

[00:36:49] Okay.

[00:36:50] This is a multi-step plan here.

[00:36:52] So first, let's try to catch them on.

[00:36:55] Okay.

[00:36:56] You don't have a card.

[00:36:57] So you'll run.

[00:36:59] Oset will be like, it was freezing and that was steaming.

[00:37:04] I just want to like rifle through his pockets to find an empty card.

[00:37:09] Yes, I will make one of my arms disappear.

[00:37:15] Return it to its original shadowy state.

[00:37:18] Much better for pickpocketing.

[00:37:20] Just reach around, pull out the shadow of a card, slip it back into my fleshy hand, and

[00:37:27] voila, like magic.

[00:37:30] And so you grab the card and you roll, I think, fierce to catch.

[00:37:34] I want to use magical enhancement.

[00:37:40] Magical enhancement, you see.

[00:37:42] I can use some of my shadowy magic to make things just a little bit higher than they would

[00:37:48] be otherwise.

[00:37:49] So I'll keep this hand here and, uh, you know, throw with the other, but, uh, navigate it a

[00:37:57] bit with the shadows.

[00:37:59] All right, roll.

[00:38:01] I rolled a three and I have minus two fears.

[00:38:06] But with magical enhancement, that pushes failures up to mixed successes.

[00:38:13] So you are going to catch the necroman temporarily.

[00:38:17] Basically, you get to hold one advantage.

[00:38:19] You get to use this mon once.

[00:38:21] All right.

[00:38:22] I'll say if you throw out your card and it goes to catch the mon, but when it does

[00:38:29] something weird and seemingly unexpected happens to the card, it shocks and it jolts.

[00:38:38] And there's just this weird energy coursing around it.

[00:38:42] The card itself disappears into shadow for a moment before reappearing different than it

[00:38:48] was before.

[00:38:50] A different brand of necro card.

[00:38:53] One where the image is larger and there is no signature.

[00:38:59] I, I, what, what, what, what is that?

[00:39:04] Emphasize.

[00:39:05] I thought he was supposed to be smarter than this.

[00:39:09] All right.

[00:39:10] You had time to do that, but the fire is still burning.

[00:39:14] Yeah.

[00:39:15] That took you quite a bit longer than expected.

[00:39:17] And these are the knees of an elderly woman running is.

[00:39:24] She's so slow.

[00:39:25] How is she so slow?

[00:39:27] I don't know.

[00:39:28] It's like so young, but so old.

[00:39:32] All right.

[00:39:32] What's your next step?

[00:39:33] So let's see.

[00:39:35] I would have to use elemental blast maybe.

[00:39:39] Yeah.

[00:39:40] Yeah.

[00:39:40] The, the water whip.

[00:39:43] Um, I'm going to say water whip heart.

[00:39:45] I'm going to say water whip signature stat is heart because it's just a friend.

[00:39:50] And that's why it was hanging out here at Chuck Beavers.

[00:39:52] So your elemental blast will give you something meant to defend or assist you.

[00:39:57] So the ideal would be for it to drench Lucifer and the area around them to put out the fire.

[00:40:07] But I want to specifically aim for Lucy because I think it would be really funny.

[00:40:12] Okay.

[00:40:13] Okay.

[00:40:14] Roll heart with advantage.

[00:40:16] Okay.

[00:40:18] I rolled a nine.

[00:40:20] You shoot it at Lucy.

[00:40:22] You're like, aha, water.

[00:40:23] Yes.

[00:40:24] But then you remember this is not regular fire and the water evaporates long before it hits

[00:40:31] the piercing green flames.

[00:40:35] This doesn't feel like a mixed success.

[00:40:36] This feels like a failure.

[00:40:38] But then something weird happens again.

[00:40:41] That shadowy magic wraps itself around the card and wraps itself around the flame.

[00:40:49] And the Lillirwhip disintegrates into nothing as the water completely douses the area around

[00:40:58] Lucifer and more infuriatingly douses their horns.

[00:41:17] He's like, oh, oh, oh.

[00:41:19] The flame around him swoops back and goes above Lucy's head, making a torrential fireball that

[00:41:28] then shoots out directly at you like a bolt of lightning.

[00:41:32] And I'm actually going to say Lucifer does an effect there.

[00:41:37] Okay.

[00:41:38] You get shot back.

[00:41:41] And no, no, no, no.

[00:41:43] Don't do what I think you're doing.

[00:41:45] It would be just a rude monologue.

[00:41:48] It shoots you back, knocks your shadow against the wall.

[00:41:53] And the little mask, the little wooden mask of Iran just plops to the ground.

[00:42:02] Yes, well, luckily my navigator gave me an idea quite before this.

[00:42:10] I'll slip on the Rasputin mask and summon a great many horses with intense ferocity.

[00:42:21] And let's say we throw some magic into it as well.

[00:42:27] A little bit of magical enhance.

[00:42:29] Oh, actually, actually, I have one AP remaining.

[00:42:35] Do I not?

[00:42:36] I will not use magical enhancement, but I will roll.

[00:42:40] Actually, I'll use both magical enhancement and the one AP to roll with advantage.

[00:42:45] And I will just roll a 3d6.

[00:42:51] And I will take, oh, quite perfect, a 6 and a 3 that makes a 9.

[00:42:57] Which turns into, I believe, a full success with my magic.

[00:43:04] There's a horse.

[00:43:06] There's a horse.

[00:43:07] There's a horse.

[00:43:08] And there's a horse.

[00:43:10] Yay!

[00:43:11] Like a stampede.

[00:43:13] A bunch of horses start plowing through Chuck Beaver's emporium of fun and pizza.

[00:43:23] Absolutely destroying everything.

[00:43:26] Everything in the wake is just getting absolutely obliterated.

[00:43:31] One of them charges straight at Lucy, who turns to it, raises their hand, and stops the horse in its tracks.

[00:43:40] Well, well, little one, you seem to forget that all of nature is under my domain.

[00:43:46] You seriously thought a little horse would get in the way?

[00:43:51] Well, of its own relation, not quite.

[00:43:54] But to be frank, that horse was always a bit of a disappointment anyway.

[00:43:58] And if riding on the shadow of another horse picks up the wooden mask and then reaches her arm out to grab the horse that Lucy had stopped,

[00:44:12] picks up its shadow, flips it over like tipping a cow,

[00:44:16] and it just falls on Lucifer as all of Chuck Beaver's falls to the ground.

[00:44:27] Irene, kiddo, kiddo, are you all right?

[00:44:30] Earl stands up and is looking for his daughter while Aubrey is removing some of the rubble that got on both of them.

[00:44:38] Of course, dad.

[00:44:41] It says having slapped the mask on because, you know, she's a woman of her word.

[00:44:48] A single tear goes down Earl's cheek as he hears his daughter call him dad.

[00:44:54] Well, this is a pretty fun trip, but, uh, you know, uh, I think this was enough fun for one day, huh?

[00:45:00] Besides, I think, um, and he looks at the wreckage of the family car, which has just been like a, we'll say Chuck Beaver's head is just like gnawing into the top of it.

[00:45:15] Besides, I, um, I think all the camping gear is, uh.

[00:45:20] Oh, darn.

[00:45:21] Yes, what a shame indeed.

[00:45:24] Aubrey gives you like the be nice eyes.

[00:45:27] Let me just say goodbye to my good friend.

[00:45:34] I would like to just check around for Oset Scuba.

[00:45:39] He all good?

[00:45:40] He good?

[00:45:42] Oh, let me be crushed that I could be in a human car like Sammy.

[00:45:49] Oset cries as a shadowy hand peels off the rubble that he was lying under before then returning into the shape of Irene's hand.

[00:46:01] I would like to bend down slightly to look down upon this sad, sad man.

[00:46:09] I'd like to believe you're standing on like his chest.

[00:46:12] All right, yeah, you're looking him straight in the eyes.

[00:46:15] There is, there's something in those eyes that upsets him and catches his attention.

[00:46:22] I know your day was hard, but I thought our time together, Mr. Scuba, was legendary.

[00:46:35] And as you leave, Oset sits up and he looks to the right where in the shadow reassembles the shadowy card.

[00:46:48] The one that notably seems to work despite not having a signature.

[00:46:56] And once again, Oset Scuba begins to ski.

[00:47:02] Look, Jake, it's very, very nice.

[00:47:04] You don't want people you trust to like go to a party or whatever.

[00:47:07] But I mean, wouldn't you want the people that you trust to be on your side doing the, you know, like isn't, isn't trust stronger than fear?

[00:47:15] If there was any favor I could ask in this world, it would be that you leave this room and forget it ever existed.

[00:47:26] But, considering as there is no power in this world that can erase memories,

[00:47:33] and considering that you have a habit on getting on people's radars and are almost certainly already on Lucy's,

[00:47:41] all I will do instead is offer my aid.

[00:47:46] Flame goes up.

[00:47:48] And he hands it to Sparky.

[00:47:50] The flame, which has a little card on it.

[00:47:53] Is it in his discard?

[00:47:54] This is my phone number.

[00:48:00] If you are ever in need of me, just simply call.

[00:48:05] And now once per session, Sparky, you can call Big Jake Hell and summon him as if you used an AP.

[00:48:11] Once per session!

[00:48:12] I'm gonna call Big Jake Hell.

[00:48:15] He doesn't need to physically appear, but you can at least call him to get some sort of help.

[00:48:20] I want him to physically appear.

[00:48:22] Just like...

[00:48:23] I mean, he can do that too, but like he, for example, when you were falling out of space,

[00:48:29] he wasn't gonna physically appear.

[00:48:32] He used his flame magic.

[00:48:34] It's like...

[00:48:35] It's like activating a smash ultimate move.

[00:48:39] Like, I just saw Big Jake Hell.

[00:48:42] I have that ability now.

[00:48:43] I'm so excited.

[00:48:44] I got his number.

[00:48:46] You got his number?

[00:48:47] I wasn't even trying.

[00:48:49] You didn't even have to use puppy dog eyes.

[00:48:50] I didn't even have to use puppy dog eyes.

[00:48:52] I just had to use the heart that was inside me all along.

[00:48:55] Yeah.

[00:48:56] Yeah.

[00:48:56] Yeah.

[00:48:57] Okay.

[00:48:58] Okay.

[00:48:59] Okay.

[00:49:00] Okay.

[00:49:00] Thanks.

[00:49:03] No problem at all.

[00:49:05] Yeah.

[00:49:05] That's...

[00:49:06] That's...

[00:49:06] That's...

[00:49:07] Okay.

[00:49:07] Okay.

[00:49:07] I'm putting it in my wallet.

[00:49:09] All right.

[00:49:09] Well, um...

[00:49:11] So do you want any like regular crepes?

[00:49:13] Or I can actually make things that aren't crepes unlike Philippe.

[00:49:16] So, uh...

[00:49:16] You can?

[00:49:17] He says desperately trying to get you out of the room and end this conversation.

[00:49:22] He doesn't want us in there anymore.

[00:49:24] Yeah.

[00:49:24] You know, um...

[00:49:26] All right.

[00:49:26] So unless you stop him, he will usher you all out.

[00:49:30] No.

[00:49:30] I want to eat some crepes.

[00:49:32] Or things that aren't crepes.

[00:49:33] I want calcium cider.

[00:49:36] Yeah.

[00:49:36] Make that two.

[00:49:37] And no more dead bulls.

[00:49:39] No, not that.

[00:49:40] We don't...

[00:49:40] Because I'm starting to get a little bit of a headache from whatever that...

[00:49:42] Ah, they don't...

[00:49:44] That thing was.

[00:49:45] ...need the dead bull.

[00:49:46] Ah, actually, he says, the door shutting behind him and his horns swooping back up in

[00:49:51] the tiny horns on his heads.

[00:49:52] I actually know a very good remedy for dead bull.

[00:49:56] They said enchiladas.

[00:49:57] They say those are good for...

[00:49:59] Exactly.

[00:50:00] But not enchiladas.

[00:50:02] End enchiladas.

[00:50:04] Excellent.

[00:50:05] Big J.

[00:50:05] Cal goes and he ushers you out and he desperately does not look at you while he cooks.

[00:50:11] But you can see as time goes on, he seems to relax a little bit and...

[00:50:16] Cute.

[00:50:16] You don't know about his past, but you know that with the little you've seen him making

[00:50:22] a meal for people in a restaurant that he owns, you've never seen him happier.

[00:50:30] Irene has shifted over from being slumped over Wuglu to being slumped over the counter waiting

[00:50:39] for food.

[00:50:40] He keeps just going to be very awkward at the whole, you know, second part of the J.

[00:50:46] Cal reveal.

[00:50:47] Sweat is dripping down into your eyeballs.

[00:50:51] If the eye holes...

[00:50:53] The eye holes.

[00:50:54] Yeah.

[00:50:55] I'm glad that disturbed you, Emily.

[00:50:57] That seemed like a very disturbed face.

[00:51:00] So the...

[00:51:01] Sparky just got Jake's number.

[00:51:03] So, I mean, she's probably going to be talking to him about his cooking skills while he's making

[00:51:08] enchiladas.

[00:51:09] And she's going to try to keep things as lively and casual and fun as she can because

[00:51:13] she also knows that Kike's losing his fucking mind over there.

[00:51:16] But then, like, as soon as they're out, the only thing I wanted to do was pull Kike aside

[00:51:20] to be like, all right, so we're going to that party, right?

[00:51:23] I'm going to order so many werepods.

[00:51:25] Yeah, totally.

[00:51:26] We are going to that party.

[00:51:27] I mean, that seems like the best next thing to do.

[00:51:31] I agree with having all of those werepods.

[00:51:34] I would want even double for me.

[00:51:37] We can get double for you.

[00:51:39] Yeah, I just wanted to make sure, you know, like, we're going to the...

[00:51:41] We got to, Kike, but like, you know, are you going to be okay?

[00:51:45] Sure.

[00:51:46] I mean, you know...

[00:51:47] You know, like...

[00:51:49] I want werepods this time.

[00:51:51] Ah!

[00:51:52] I was almost going to joke that Irene is just groggily standing next to you and neither

[00:51:57] of you have noticed.

[00:51:59] Yeah.

[00:51:59] She's just standing, like, right between, slightly behind them, staring up with, like,

[00:52:07] huge eyes, yawning a little bit.

[00:52:10] Oh, Irene, good.

[00:52:11] You're here.

[00:52:12] Because that was my follow-up.

[00:52:14] So, Kike, I think we're going to have to...

[00:52:17] Irene should come.

[00:52:19] And we're going to bring extra werepods also for Irene.

[00:52:22] Because remember how I kind of figured everything out?

[00:52:26] She's a siren.

[00:52:27] And so we got to have the werepods.

[00:52:29] And so we'll just be careful because this is nothing like we haven't done before.

[00:52:32] It's fine.

[00:52:33] It's fine.

[00:52:34] As long as you're fine.

[00:52:35] Well, you know, I guess I should take big risks, you know?

[00:52:41] High risk, maybe high reward kind of situation, maybe, you know?

[00:52:47] Yeah.

[00:52:47] So it's fine, you know?

[00:52:50] Let's just take especially good care of the kid here.

[00:52:54] I am not a child.

[00:52:56] Of the teen.

[00:52:57] The detect teen.

[00:52:58] That is correct.

[00:52:59] I apologize, Miss Detect teen.

[00:53:02] Good care of the detect teen here.

[00:53:05] Sparky, who ironically is just getting more manic at the end of the night because so much has been dropped on her,

[00:53:11] takes Kike by both shoulders.

[00:53:12] And Shakespeare is like, Kike?

[00:53:14] Yeah.

[00:53:15] All the kids will be fine.

[00:53:17] All the kids?

[00:53:18] All the kids will be fine.

[00:53:21] So, Irene, you make your way back home.

[00:53:25] You sneak in.

[00:53:26] The house is quiet.

[00:53:28] It is empty.

[00:53:30] It is very, very late.

[00:53:32] Aubrey doesn't make a sound when he sleeps.

[00:53:35] Your father, though, snores.

[00:53:36] He snores.

[00:53:37] Let's be honest.

[00:53:38] Earl Hawthorne snores.

[00:53:39] Oh, yeah.

[00:53:39] Earl Hawthorne snores.

[00:53:40] You can hear the snores of Earl Hawthorne.

[00:53:43] And it is pitch black.

[00:53:45] Nothing but the sounds of your father's snores to navigate your way back into your room.

[00:53:51] When you get to the door, you look back to see if that girl you saw was there, but she's not there anymore.

[00:53:57] That's okay.

[00:53:59] I'll figure it out.

[00:54:01] Thanks to my new descriptor.

[00:54:04] Irene will pull out her little flashlight reading light, snuggle up in bed, and open her new library book.

[00:54:14] How to make a heist board.

[00:54:16] What?

[00:54:17] What?

[00:54:17] What?

[00:54:18] What?

[00:54:19] And Irene, you can add one point to your mystery tracker.

[00:54:23] Wait, wait, wait, what?

[00:54:25] No, what?

[00:54:26] Mystery tracker.

[00:55:00] No, now Emily's going to get all their mystery trackers first.

[00:55:03] And then Irene's going to be better than Sparky again.

[00:55:07] No, this is an insult.

[00:55:09] This is an insult.

[00:55:10] You've taken my heist board from me.

[00:55:13] So, Hallie, let me explain.

[00:55:16] Yeah.

[00:55:16] Let me explain.

[00:55:17] Yeah, I took your descriptor, but a crappy version.

[00:55:23] What?

[00:55:24] Irene Hawthorne has the new descriptor, jumps to conclusions.

[00:55:29] Jumps to conclusions.

[00:55:31] When confronted with a mystery, you can immediately and publicly assume its answers.

[00:55:36] When you do, roll 2d6.

[00:55:38] Emily has to specifically claim that Emily has cracked the case and then will roll.

[00:55:45] And how right Emily is depends on their role.

[00:55:49] Oh, my God.

[00:55:49] Emily can do this for things outside of the mystery, too.

[00:55:52] The tracker is actually the advanced version of the descriptor.

[00:55:56] Okay.

[00:55:56] So Emily could do this for anything.

[00:55:57] So at any point, Emily can say, this is the answer.

[00:56:00] Jesus Christ.

[00:56:01] I'm tempted to, at some point, jump to the conclusion that Elliot is the changeling.

[00:56:05] It's just like, wow, he's even worse than usual.

[00:56:09] Clearly, it's not him.

[00:56:11] What a Nancy Drew descriptor this is.

[00:56:15] It's basically if your descriptor was chosen by somebody who didn't know what they were doing and wasn't very good at organizing.

[00:56:26] But that's me.

[00:56:28] But the thing is, Sparky's actually good at solving mysteries.

[00:56:31] Yeah.

[00:56:32] Look, she's taking on so much responsibility.

[00:56:34] She's being held accountable for things.

[00:56:36] She's getting through escape rooms.

[00:56:38] She's comforted Kike.

[00:56:40] And then Irene comes in with like, here's my heist board.

[00:56:42] Oh, I think Emily, if it's all right, I think we should mention the other notable thing because I think we're going to forget it otherwise.

[00:56:47] When Irene reads the book, she has the flashlight in one hand.

[00:56:51] But what is she holding in the other to make the text bigger?

[00:56:54] Her new signature item.

[00:56:56] Oh.

[00:56:59] The magnifying glass.

[00:57:00] Yay.

[00:57:01] Oh, it's her signature.

[00:57:02] That's so cute.

[00:57:03] Oh, that's so cute.

[00:57:04] So she gets the item from Kike and the descriptor from Sparky.

[00:57:09] Oh, that's so cute.

[00:57:10] That is so cute.

[00:57:11] No, well, now I can't be mad.

[00:57:13] Yeah.

[00:57:16] Sorry.

[00:57:17] Jesus Christ, Eponine.

[00:57:19] Eponine.

[00:57:20] Holy shit.

[00:57:22] Yeah.

[00:57:22] Sorry about that.

[00:57:23] Where even is she?

[00:57:25] Okay.

[00:57:25] Let me just open the door.

[00:57:26] Where even is she?

[00:57:27] One, two, three.

[00:57:29] Jesus Christ.

[00:57:29] Why is she so sad?

[00:57:31] Why is she so mad?

[00:57:33] She doesn't sound sad.

[00:57:34] She sounds pissed.

[00:57:35] Yeah.

[00:57:36] Why is she mad?

[00:57:37] Why is she mad, Ari?

[00:57:39] All right.

[00:57:40] She's out.

[00:57:40] She's out of here.

[00:57:41] Ari, why is she mad?

[00:57:43] I don't know.

[00:57:44] She was asleep and now she's not.

[00:57:46] She was asleep and then she just wasn't.

[00:57:50] What a fucking menace.

[00:57:52] She's like a barbarian.

[00:57:53] That's how we have coined her class.

[00:57:56] You're mad.

[00:57:56] She's like all sweet.

[00:57:58] And so it is like rage.

[00:57:59] And it's like, oh God.

[00:58:02] Anyways, so the way I'm going to say it works is it flips around, but he's making it very

[00:58:06] clear that like the most useful thing you could do is go to the party and figure out what

[00:58:11] the fuck she's up to.

[00:58:13] He's hoisted his own petard.

[00:58:14] Like you don't tell a PC you cannot do this thing.

[00:58:18] Under any circumstances.

[00:58:20] It's like in The Lion King.

[00:58:22] It must never go to that place.

[00:58:23] Exactly.

[00:58:24] Scarving like that is so dangerous.

[00:58:27] Yeah.

[00:58:27] This is exactly that.

[00:58:29] What is that?

[00:58:29] Jake, how?

[00:58:30] What is that?

[00:58:31] That is Sochi's party, Sparky.

[00:58:32] We must never go there.

[00:58:34] We must never go there.

[00:58:36] My corner friend left.

[00:58:39] She says.

[00:58:40] My corner friend left.

[00:58:42] Beginning to doze.

[00:58:44] Your corner friend left, but I suppose there always were.

[00:58:47] And he kind of looks confused.

[00:58:49] No, there's always been three of you.

[00:58:51] Never mind.

[00:58:51] Disregard that.

[00:58:53] Look, look, maybe you one time saw the big bird that sometimes comes doing detective things.

[00:58:58] I mean, I guess I guess he usually is just with me and sometimes with this kid.

[00:59:04] That is absolutely true.

[00:59:06] The member of the party that you are missing is a bird.

[00:59:11] Toucan.

[00:59:12] Just a big old bird.

[00:59:13] I remember that bird helped protect Irene Hawthorne in a lawsuit.

[00:59:19] That bird is a hero.