46. Swanshine!

Transcript by Raina Harper

[Music plays, ‘Quest Friends! Hereafter Theme’ by Miles Morkri.]

Kyle

Hello, guests and ghouls! Welcome to Quest Friends! Hereafter, an audio cartoon using the roleplaying game Under the Neighborhood. I am Kyle, he/him, and today I, three of my best friends, and some dice are going to tell you a story about ‘quite the party.’

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

If you want to know what that inside joke was, I will explain it on the Discord.

Ari

Oh god. Oh god!

Kyle

[Smiling.] There’s the plug for our Discord.

Ari

It is related to me!

Kyle

It’s related to you!

Hallie

It’s related to Ari!

Ari

It is.

Kyle

Who are you? Who is it related to?

Hallie

Who are you? Who is speaking?

Ari

Me, Ari, she/her, who plays Aurelio Enrique Hueso Canaca, he/him, the opportunist who adapts and creates copies.

Emily

I’m Emily, they/them, and I play Irene Hawthorne, the Necromon Trainer who overextends and jumps to conclusions, she/her.

Hallie

And I’m Hallie, she/her. I play Sparky Malarky, also she/her, the intuition who investigates and has two mascot suits.

Kyle

She has two of them now.

Hallie

I have two of them! One is the School-Aid Man and one can be anything I want.

Kyle

You have two, so you made two different lines on your character sheet…

Hallie

I did. I made two.

Kyle

…deleting the arc move that was so important to your character.

Hallie

No. No. That was deleted way before I added the mascot suit. Only part of it too. There were like 11 words left on the arc move You Know Best. I was like, wow, I’d love to know what completes this.

Ari

‘I’d love to know what this is.’

Kyle

Hallie was acting like Sparky pre-arc which was refusing to accept that she got it wrong and just asking for help.

Hallie

No… yeah, yeah.

Kyle

Alright. Let’s go through our Slice of Life Complications.

Hallie

Irene’s shoes keep coming untied. Do your shoes have laces? Are they lace-up flats or are they just flats?

Emily

I pictured them as the Mary Janes that snap.

Hallie

Oh, they snap, okay.

Kyle

I’ve got a suggestion. Irene is starting to grow, so her shoes are getting a little too small and they keep unsnapping and slipping off.

Hallie

Yes. Beautiful. That one. We got there together. Arc move, You Know Best.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Alright Ari, what’s yours?

Ari

I’m just gonna say one that happened to Hallie because I thought it was funny. Sparky misinterpreted how long the drive thru in the drive thru restaurant was going to be and she got stuck in the line of the drive thru.

Hallie

No… Don’t do me like this.

Ari

And she didn’t even want the food anymore, but it was too late.

Hallie

Don’t even want it. Don’t do this to me.

Kyle

So Sparky’s gonna come to the party with cold food either not fully dressed or haphazardly dressed with a ketchup stain.

Ari

Yes.

Kyle

Okay, perfect.

Emily

Quique answered an email that he’s not sure is a scam.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari

Oh no.

Emily

Something’s coming in the mail or something, and he’s trying to figure out if it is or isn’t actually coming in the mail and what information they possibly could have gotten from his email reply if they are or are not scammers.

Hallie

That’s really funny.

Kyle

So we have Quique might have been scammed, Sparky was stuck in the drive thru, and Irene’s shoes are too small.

Ari

I like the Irene one.

Emily

I really like the Irene one, but I also do like Sparky being stuck in the drive thru.

Hallie

Okay, well my vote was for the Quique one, so…

Kyle

In that case, let’s go with my suggestion. Two of these already deal with clothes, and you’re going to a fancy party tonight.

Hallie

Oh no!

Kyle

So I’m gonna do the suggestion of all three. Irene has shoes that keep falling off, Sparky haphazardly put on her outfit and it smells like grease, and then how does the scam ruin Quique’s outfit?

Ari

Maybe he answered an email related to getting a fancy party suit but instead it was a different kind of clothes that he…

Emily

He ordered something off of this world’s equivalent to Temu or something.

[00:05:00]

Kyle

He ordered a shirt designed with… we’ll called it Arachna silk. Arachna  we’ll say is a type of dead that’s an arachnid. Quique failed to recognize that this outfit was designed specifically for Arachna, so it’s a suitcoat that just has four extra arm holes that are just dangling at his side.

Hallie

Ha!

Ari

Oh no.

Hallie

Just flopping.

Kyle

Just flopping around.

Hallie

Why is that so funny?

Kyle

So Irene’s shoes are falling off, Quique has four extra arm holes, and Sparky… we’ll see what happened to her outfit.

Hallie

Oh man.

Kyle

Before we get to our partay, let’s talk about what happened last time.

[Upbeat recap music begins.]

So, last time on Quest Friends! Hereafter, the session started with Quique learning about a party for Swanshine!, a new musical being done by Xochi that just coincidentally sounds like Shadowed Swan, a musical by Ariel Zamora Hueso, but that’s probably a coincidence. He did not have too much time to think of that because the gang went to infiltrate Die Hop and find Big Jake Hell’s secret room.

Inside of Big Jake Hell’s secret room, they found a glowing green book Necromon called the Necromonicon. It is a device that, according to Big Jake Hell, can essentially turn someone into a Necromon and grant them unimaginable power.

He mentioned a series of people who have been interested in it. Notably, he mentioned that Xochi has expressed interest in it, and that is why she is interested in purchasing Die Hop, and he also mentioned that Lucifer, the Morningstar, Mother Nature, and the Prince of Darkness who used to run a gang with Big Jake Hell is also interested in it, and that is how Big Jake Hell died.

Meanwhile, an excitement-seeking shadow changeling named If took on the form of Irene and went to Chuck Beavers’ Emporium of Fun and Pizza. While there, she met up with Lucifer who recognized her despite her disguise and also met up with Oset Scuba who is still really, really sad about Sammy.

Emily

Guys, he’s so sad.

Kyle

A bunch of stuff happened, but most notably If just kinda dunked on Lucifer real fucking hard. Chuck Beavers’ got destroyed, and If made a type of Necrocard that doesn’t need a signature to work.

Hallie

Oh!

Kyle

And this card has caught Oset Scuba’s attention.

[Music ends.]

But you don't know about any of that. What Oset’s up to, who gives a shit, right? I mean, I swear one of you at some point had specific beef with Oset Scuba, but…

Emily

Nah.

Hallie

No.

Ari

No.

Hallie

[Under distortion.] I don’t remember that one.

Kyle

No, no, I must be misremembering. Anyways, so yeah, you don’t really care about him, instead you’re worried about this party that you’re going to.

[Whimsical music begins.]

So, I want to kind of check in with people since last time, see if there’s anything notable you want to mention in your planning for this party. Then, Ari and Hallie, I need you to roll your rolls.

Ari

[Rolls.] I rolled a… 6.

Kyle

A 6. Quique, are you just very emotionally compromised?

Ari

I guess so. That might be why I rolled a 6 on my Loaded Die. Oh wait, I can roll with advantage. Let’s see.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] I was like, did you forget about rolling with advantage? I was like, 6 is very unlikely.

Ari

Yes.

[Rolls.] I rolled an 8.

Kyle

Okay, okay.

Hallie

A little bit better.

Ari

It’s a little better. It’s a little better.

Kyle

A little better, a little fine. Still emotionally compromised.

Ari

Still emotionally compromised.

Kyle

And then what’s your doubles?

Ari

Yeah, I was thinking. I think 5 is failure and 2 is success.

Kyle

Alright, 5 is failure, 2 is success. Anything notable that Quique has done for preparation?

Ari

No. He might crash at Sparky’s the night before, kind of literally probably.

Kyle

Aw, I love that.

Hallie

Aww!

Kyle

What has Irene been up to?

Emily

Irene has been training and adding to her heist board. The problem is that nothing’s connected in the heist board, it’s just all of these things that she’s thought of.

Hallie

[Amused exasperated sounds.]

Kyle

Right, you started a heist board because of the invisible girl.

Emily

Yeah. Invisible girl, the name Hilda, changeling, Elliot bad, BITE, Big Jake Hell… she just wrote a bunch of words and I think she was hoping that something would come of that but nothing has.

Kyle

She just keeps drawing different lines to see what conclusions she can make and none of them work.

Emily

Yeah. Currently nothing is connected on her heist board, but she has a lot of things written on it.

Kyle

So it’s a Hallie Koontz heist board.

Hallie

WOW! Wow.

[00:10:00]

Emily

Rude.

Hallie

Excuse you. All of mine are connected with very logical, reasonable thoughts.

Ari

Loosely connected.

Hallie

But connected!

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

But connected.

Kyle

Alright. Sparky, what are your rolls?

Hallie

My rolls are…

[Rolls.] Heart, +3. I rolled a 6 so it’s +3 and actually I have a +1 permanent in Heart, so it’s +4. Man, I am here with my friends, and I’m gonna make Lucas Bang proud, and Quique needs me because he’s—

Kyle

You’re gonna make Lucas Bang proud?

Hallie

Ugh, fuck me! UGH!

Emily

I think that ship has sailed, Hallie. I don't think that’s gonna happen.

Kyle

Irene’s mon know where he is if you want to, you know…

Hallie

Freudian slips! I’m gonna make Jake Hell proud. Big Jake Hell, I’m gonna make him proud and, uh…

Kyle

Do the thing he told you not to do?

Hallie

[Smiling.] Yeah, I’m gonna do the thing he told me not to do.

[Rolls.] Books is a +2 today. I rolled a 5.

[Rolls.] Oh… alright. Fierce is gonna be -2, so I guess I’m going in this with a lot of Heart and absolutely nothing to back it up.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] You got some Books. You got some smarts.

Hallie

Yeah, I got some smarts, and then I got a little bit of Slick. I’ve got a +1 in Slick.

Kyle

Yeah, so you’ll do alright.

Hallie

I’ll do alright.

Kyle

You just know that you can’t take this mission head-on.

Hallie

Yeah, exactly.

Kyle

Alright, I have a quick question for you.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

Where is the dirt in Sparky’s van?

Hallie

Where isn’t the dirt in Sparky’s van?

Kyle

Specifically where is the mound of dirt, though? Because Ari said that Quique crashes, and Ari has also explicitly said that skeletons do not use blankets, they sleep in dirt. So where is the dirt?

Ari

I mean, she lives in the junkyard where there’s a lot of dirt. He can grab dirt from there. He can bring his own dirt. He’s not gonna be like—

Hallie

[Delighted.] He can bring his own dirt.

Kyle

Bring his dirt from home?

Ari

Yeah. He’s not gonna be an impolite guest and expect Sparky to have skeleton needs, you know.

Kyle

I will say, Sparky, you didn’t know that at first so you did start trying to dig up some homegrown dirt for him.

Hallie

Yeah, I did.

Kyle

And you did find a sock.

Hallie

[Gasps.] I found a sock while I was digging up my dirt?

Kyle

There was a little carved-out hole.

Hallie

Tracker 4! Okay.

Kyle

So it was in there almost like a fossil would be.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh-ho!

Hallie

That’s the sound she makes when she finds one of her socks.

Kyle

So then you keep digging but you’re not looking for socks.

Hallie

I’m not looking for socks, but I’m just digging, and then Quique brought his dirt from home because my dirt’s not good enough.

Ari

Oh no!

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Is Quique’s dirt woven into a blanket shape or does he just spill it out?

Ari

He spills it out and covers himself with it. He didn’t want to impose on Sparky. He doesn’t want to be a nuisance as a guest with very particular needs of sleep, so he would just go to a corner and crash there.

Kyle

Maybe, to take up as little space as possible, Quique just brings a small pile of dirt and just disassembles his entire body so it’s a pile of bones.

Ari

Yeah, so it looks like you just unburied a pirate treasure, with bones, in the middle of your backyard.

Hallie

Oh my god.

Kyle

Sparky, did you… Pirate treasure. I like to think that Sparky had to resist the urge to pull out a pirate hat and just set it on the sleeping Quique.

Hallie

You say this as if she resisted the urge and didn’t just have a pirate hat to put over there. No, that’s over there. The pirate hat is atop Quique. He’ll find it when he wakes up and it will be very funny.

Kyle

Alright. Sparky, you are getting ready for your day.

Hallie

I am getting ready!

Kyle

You are not making your coffee. I don’t think you ever fixed that.

Hallie

No, it’s still broken.

Kyle

But you know, the vodka at Tsarbucks, it has a kick to it.

Hallie

Yeah, almost as good as real coffee.

Kyle

Alright. How are you feeling?

Hallie

Good, man! We’re gonna do it. We’re gonna do this thing. I have so many WherePods. That’s a thing that I did to prepare. I have little ear pods. They’re cheap ones because I can’t afford to buy several pairs of Apple brand WherePods, but I’ve got a lot of earbuds and stuff to help people not be sirened upon. That’s how you phrase it, sirened upon.

Kyle

Yeah. You instinctually I’d say, without thinking, bought for you, for a couple of people you met, and you know, for a party of four for some reason.

Hallie

Yeah, you gotta have…

Ari

You need to have extras.

Hallie

The thing is, I had to buy two pairs for each so I’d buy eight, but then I don't know why eight was what I went for. That just seemed like the right thing.

Kyle

Yeah, that makes sense.

Hallie

Because that’s two extra pairs now. You gotta be safe.

Kyle

Yeah, exactly.

Hallie

You gotta be safe. Because Ariel’s gonna be there. Yunuen? I don't know who’s gonna be there.

Kyle

Yeah. Of course, there’s one last person who’s gonna be there. You hear your door knock.

Hallie

[Smirking.] I hear the door? Like, the door is doing the knocking? Okay.

Kyle

You hear a knock on the door!

[00:15:00]

Hallie

[Laughing.] I’m sorry.

Kyle

Fuck you.

Hallie

[Laughing.] I’m being such a dick. I whisk it open.

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Hushed, angry.] What?! Quique’s asleep.

Kyle

In front of you, you see a teenage girl with a bright smile, some ski Heelys, and a messenger bag over her shoulder. Juniper Brees looks at you and says:

Kyle (as Juniper)

[Under distortion.] Hey Boss! What are we doing today?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Are you here for… Quique? Who are you?

Kyle

…is something you don’t say, because this is Juniper Brees.

[Silly quirky music begins.]

Hallie

Oh, duh! Oh, it’s Juniper!

Kyle

Yeah, this is your—

Hallie

[Smirking.] Oh my god, it’s Juniper! God, how could I forget. Right, right, right. Okay.

Kyle

Yeah, your {“protégée”}, remember?

{Transcriber’s Note: The word “protégée” is under distortion, and future mid-sentence distorted speech will appear in these braces in the same way.}

Hallie (as Sparky)

No, I mean like, who are you dressed as?

Kyle (as Juniper)

Oh, um…

[Clears her throat.] Well.

Kyle

She’s wearing a little cute I’d say dress with a little floating crown above her head.

Hallie

[Gasps.]

Kyle

She seems to almost glow with magical energy.

Hallie

Adorable.

Kyle

The dress looks like a wrapper almost, it’s like a yellow candy wrapper with gloves and some owllike goggles.

Hallie

Sick.

Kyle

She takes the goggles, pulls them off and shakes it, and now they’re like a masquerade mask. She puts it in front of her eyes.

Kyle (as Juniper)

It’s a masquerade, so it’s a secret.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay, I just thought… I love it, for one. You look great. I just thought it looked really familiar, like a character. No, it’s a masquerade ball, you’re right. You’re right. Come in, come in, come in.

Kyle

I will say, Quique, you hear her. She is very, very loud.

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Quietly.] Okay Juniper, so Quique’s trying to—

Ari (as Quique)

It’s too late.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Ah, damn it.

Ari (as Quique)

Too late, Sparky. Too late. What is this thing on top of me?

Hallie (as Sparky)

What thing on top of you?

Ari (as Quique)

This is not part of my tibia.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I don't know what to tell you, Quique. You shouldn’t have brought the hat.

Ari (as Quique)

I don't think I brought a hat, Sparky. I only brought my surprise outfit that I got from this very prestigious spider company.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Ari (as Quique)

I did not bring a hat.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Are you sure? It looks so good with your prestigious spider company outfit.

Ari (as Quique)

Will it help me blend in, maybe? If it covers my face, you know, do you think, like, will people know that I am the same skeleton without or with the hat?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Uh…! Put it back on and then take it off and then do that a couple more times while I look.

Ari

[Smiles.] He does that.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Uh…! You know what, I think it does.

Ari (as Quique)

It does? It looks different?

Hallie (as Sparky)

I think it looks different.

Ari (as Quique)

Okay. Alright. I don’t trust you, Sparky. I will go without the hat.

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

After all of that, you don’t even wear the pirate hat.

Ari (as Quique)

You know, the little chemist kid over there can wear it. How are you keeping with the alchemy studies, Juniper?

Kyle (as Juniper)

Yes. I have done all sorts of studying about… alchemy, and about hats.

Kyle

She grabs the hat and she puts it on her head and the floating crown just gets stuck there. She just presses it down as hard as she can on her head.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Juniper, you don’t have to wear that. I will wear the hat. I will wear the pirate hat because nobody else will.

Kyle (as Juniper)

No, I’ll wear it. It’s fine. It’s—

Kyle

Boing. The floating crown pops back up again and the hat spirals out of control and plops into the corner.

Hallie

I pick it up. This is happening now.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

And with that, let’s go to the party.

Hallie

With my assistant, Juniper Brees.

Kyle

With your assistant, Juniper Brees.

Hallie

Juniper, who has always been here.

Kyle

She’s always been here, the entire time.

Hallie

It’s Juniper, yeah.

Kyle

Yeah, uh-huh. So, this party, this party to celebrate Swanshine!, is taking place in the Gardens of Adonis.

[Relaxing piano music begins.]

The Gardens of Adonis is right next to Skulliard. Die Hop is in the middle. It is the last section that we designed of Necropolis that we haven’t gone over yet. This one, with the hectic hustle and bustle of Necropolis, this is the one area that’s quiet. It’s a nice little small residential district full of townhouses that are covered in all sorts of plants that are both dead and alive but often withering away. It’s usually just quiet and nice, maybe some nice strung lights, you know, the clotheslines across the buildings. Usually it’s like that.

[Music changes to loud swing.]

Today, however, Xochi has invited everyone else to her new penthouse apartment in the Gardens of Adonis where this party will take place. I want everyone to Paint the Scene about how Xochi has basically, in idolization of herself, ruined the vibes of this district. I’m gonna start with two details. One, her penthouse was built on top of an existing townhouse, so it just juts out like a dozen feet over the rooftop.

[00:20:00]

It is completely a different style and goes super high into the sky like a skyscraper. It’s just basically a big middle finger jutting out of the Gardens of Adonis.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

Also, where the Gardens of Adonis is all about life and death and the intersection, her house is covered in thousands of xochitl flowers, but they’re plastic flowers made to look like living xochitls.

Ari

That’s sad.

Hallie

[Uncomfortable sounds.] Oh man.

Ari

Probably really loud. The district is generally really quiet and there’s not a lot of noise in it, but now this is just a lot both outside and inside that’s different types of music flashing. There’s maybe speakers throughout the neighborhood, too. The party is… follow the music. The party’s over here. So, it’s just very loud.

Kyle

Yeah. Okay, yeah, I love that.

Hallie

In keeping with the loud theme, you know how classy places such as the Gardens of Adonis that’s like nice and tranquil will often have a fountain or at the very least some kind of gentle running water somewhere at the background?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Xochi has replaced this with a waterfall, just an actual waterfall in the middle of the penthouse suite. In addition to the music, no one can hear each other over this fucking waterfall.

Kyle

So the waterfall is in the suite?

Hallie

Yes. We have an indoor waterfall.

Kyle

You mentioned a fountain in the town square, so I like to imagine that her house goes over the central fountain, it overhangs so bad, and now it goes up into the building.

Hallie

Like a dollhouse over it. “Oh, this is my fountain now.”

Kyle

She lives in Barbie’s dreamhouse.

Hallie

Exactly! You just put it on top of what’s already there.

Kyle

Okay cool, so a waterfall fountain.

Emily

There’s this thing called a vinyl wrap, a giant printed thing.

Kyle

Oh! The thing people can do to put flames on their cars? Like the wrap that goes… yeah.

Emily

There are vinyl wraps of Xochi all around. All the taxis and buses and stuff have got vinyl wraps of Xochi, and maybe some of the buildings that she’s bought up.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

So, Irene, because thanks to Sparky’s Slice of Life Complication, now Sparky, Quique and Juniper are all going to be late.

Hallie

Oh my god! We all had to go through the drive thru because I needed a McDonalds.

Ari

Quique needed his calcium coffee which was only at that specific McDonalds.

Hallie

That specific McDonalds.

Kyle

McRonalds. I think that’s what it’s called, McRonalds.

Hallie

McRonalds!

[Club music begins.]

Kyle

So Irene, we hear the muffled music, but eventually it turns into loud music that is so loud and clear it is somehow muffled in and of itself. We’ll actually say you hear muffled music from the floor above you, because this is a multistory penthouse apartment, so there’s muffled music on top of the music you hear as you sit in an uncomfortable chair wrapped in a vinyl wrap of Xochi’s face at a tiny table in the corner of the room.

There is this really excitable banshee with a Nohtyp on his shoulder just really talking to you really exciting. He’s doing air guitar, really getting into it. I don't think you ever got Jam’s name, but this is… Actually, we’ll say Jam brought a nametag, so they have a nametag that says “hi, my name is Jam,” which is good because with the waterfall and the music and your migraine you cannot hear a word they are saying.

Hallie

No~

Emily

Which is impressive considering they’re a banshee.

Kyle

Actually…

Kyle (as Jam)

[Words, quiet and unintelligible.]

[Suddenly very loud.] Can you hear me now?!

Kyle

Roll me Keep Your Cool.

Emily

[Rolls.] That would be a 3.

Kyle

You’re gonna take disadvantage ongoing as…

Emily

Disadvantage ongoing?

Kyle

…Jam yells so loudly that Snake, his little Nohtyp, flies off his shoulders and this bellowing energy knocks you and all of your mon flat on the ground.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-eeee!

Ari (as Mallea)

Um…

Kyle (as Mossies)

See-sawm…! [Grumbles.]

[Music ends.]

Emily

Irene will gather up all her little mon in her arms and is petting them gently.

Kyle (as Boidelrat)

Tarledoib! Tarledoib!

Kyle

And Boidelrat’s voice disappears back into the migraine.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

You can’t hear, you can barely see, so it takes you a second, but eventually you register Juniper, Quique and Sparky rushing into the room. Juniper’s into it, she’s happy, she’s having a good time. She is excited.

[00:25:00]

She’s eaten her chicken nuggies which have magically stayed warm the whole time.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Yay.

Kyle

How do Sparky and Quique look?

Hallie

Sparky is wiping a coffee stain off of her outfit, because she did get coffee at the McRonalds but then it spilled immediately. Luckily it was not hot enough to cause a lawsuit, but she did not get to drink the coffee that spilled on her immediately after they drove away.

Kyle

How about Quique? Quique, you are at this party that you’re anxious about anyway, you have the wrong suit, and you are now late thanks to Sparky.

Hallie

Oops.

Ari

Well yeah, Quique is nervous. He seems very uncomfortable of wanting to get in.

Ari (as Quique)

You know what, Sparky? I don’t think I can. I know that the most logical thing is to go in, but I don't know if I can go in. I’ll… I’ll just say I might have seen that the drive thru had a long line and I didn’t tell you because I might have maybe… I don’t even drink calcium coffee. I don't know if you noticed I didn’t really drink it that much. It was a ploy to delay the undelayable, I guess. So… I don't know if I will be able to go in without—

Emily (as Irene)

Detective!

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh, Irene!

Ari (as Quique)

Oh, hello, fellow detective.

Kyle

Irene, you walk up and you hear a “fwing” as your shoe buckle disconnects and flies off.

Emily

Irene trips.

Hallie

Ha!

Kyle

You trip and the shoe flies off and conks someone in the head.

Ari

Is it Lionel? Can I just spend an AP for it to be Lionel?

[Laughter.]

Kyle

You don’t even need to spend an AP. It hits Lionel in the head and his skull falls off, hits the waterfall, and flies down towards the earth. Now Lionel is walking around without a head.

Hallie

Beautiful.

Ari

Excellent.

Kyle (as Juniper)

Oh, Irene! Are you okay?

Emily (as Irene)

I am fine, Juniper.

Kyle (as Juniper)

Okay. Well, let me help you up anyway.

Kyle

Juniper reaches down, letting go of the masquerade mask which still seems to float in place as she grabs one of your arms and picks you up.

Ari (as Quique)

I will say I commend that kick. That was a very solid sockball kick, detecteen.

Hallie (as Sparky)

My god, you’re right.

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah. Wasn’t it, Sparky?

Emily (as Irene)

Thank you. It was an accident.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Have you ever considered joining the sockball team, though? That’s never occurred to me even once, but Quique’s right, that was pretty baller.

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah. I don’t think it is necessarily against the rules to toss your shoe at the ball. I haven’t seen…

Hallie (as Sparky)

There’s no rules that say you can’t throw shoes.

Ari (as Quique)

It’s true.

Hallie

[Smirking.] Who says a shoe can’t play sockball?

Ari (as Quique)

I think you might have detected my delay tactics of switching the conversation towards sockball instead of the relevant situation at hand.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah, it’s real good. It’s real good, Quique.

Kyle (as Juniper)

That was a really good deflection. It’s really in-character with the way you act with all the adventures we’ve been on together.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

Juniper’s right. She’s got experience. Listen, Quique. So by… hmm.

Hallie

Sparky considers offering him a Dead Bull again and then thinks better of it and says not tonight.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

Listen. I don’t want to make you go in, but I’m not sure staying out here alone is gonna be any better.

Ari (as Quique)

I know. I know. It’s true. I guess I might have delayed the situation way too long. I think I need to at least… I know you have been in theory doing research as to what my connection is with certain hosts of this party. You might have guessed that it’s related to that.

Hallie

Very confidently, Sparky says:

Hallie (as Sparky)

Quique, not all your sobrinas can be winners. It’s fine. It’s okay. You know, I just… Do I have any? No, I don’t have any nieces or nephews, but it’s fine. I…

Ari (as Quique)

No, Sparky.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Look, it’s gotta be hard, but like…

[Meanders.] You know, sobrinas…

[Tense SFX starts rising.]

Ari (as Quique)

No, listen, Sparky. Sparky, wait. Wait.

Hallie (as Sparky)

So, I mean, it’s—

Ari (as Quique)
Sparky!

Hallie (as Sparky)

What? What?

[Tense SFX peaks and ends.]

Ari (as Quique)

She’s my daughter, okay?

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Splutters and coughs.]

Hallie

Sparky wasn’t drinking anything, but she does a spit take regardless.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Quique)

See? This is why. This is the exact reaction.

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Coughs.] What? What?!

Ari (as Quique)

This is why. This is why I wasn’t saying it. I know it’s embarrassing. I should have been a better parent, right? I should have done better than having a daughter that does this and that has such an influence over my surrogate kids, I guess at this point. So, go ahead and lay I tall out. This is why I can’t go in, because this is just such an embarrassment.

[00:30:00]

Hallie (as Sparky)

What? What? What?

Ari (as Quique)

I am just a terrible parent.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Ugh…

Ari (as Quique)

You were so talkative a minute ago, Sparky. Are you just judging me silently?

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Quietly, startled.] She’s your daughter. She’s your daughter…

Ari (as Quique)

That’s fine. I guess I deserve that.

Emily (as Irene)

[Hushed.] Sparky.

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Hushed.] What?!

Emily (as Irene)

[Hushed.] Say something nice.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I’m trying!

Emily (as Irene)

But you were just making sounds!

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay. Quique? Quique. At first, when you said it was the reaction, I thought it was because you waited so long to tell me. I thought, yeah, I wouldn’t have reacted this way if you’d come right out and said it when it was immediately relevant. That wouldn’t have gotten a spit take. What… Why are you embarrassed?

Ari (as Quique)

Well, because look at how she turned out.

Kyle

Xochi is in the middle of the room dabbing. It’s out of date.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

She’s dabbing?!

Kyle

She’s dabbing in the center of the room.

Hallie

“Look at my child. She’s dabbing.”

Kyle

She’s planking. She’s T-posing. She’s doing all of them at once.

Ari (as Quique)

What are all those poses?

Kyle, Hallie & Emily

She’s flossing!

Kyle

She’s doing an NPC stream where you pretend to be an NPC. She’s doing all of these things simultaneously in the center of the room, over Lionel’s corpse.

Hallie

Over Lionel’s corpse!

Ari (as Quique)

What is that? I have kids that do whatever those moves are, except not at the same time, separately. But you know, that’s not really what I meant with that. She… Well, I’ve told you before.

[Sad piano music begins.]

Look at Ariel. It’s not the first time she’s done that. It’s not the first kid that she’s taken like that. You know, I just can’t help but think that this is all me somehow. All of this…

Ari

And he’s gonna do the weird poses that she does.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Uh-huh?

Ari (as Quique)

I think this is all my fault.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Quique. Quique.

Ari (as Quique)

And you know, I still like her. Which parent doesn’t like their kid? I come in and it’s especially hard for me to resist all the things she does because I just, you know, I wanted to have a daughter that I could be proud of instead of…

Ari

And he’s gonna do the poses again.

Ari (as Quique)

…that.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Quique, I don’t have kids. I have these two.

Ari (as Quique)

And see, I didn’t want to bring the kids along, because what if I screw up again. You know?

Hallie (as Sparky)

No, no, no. Quique, no, no. No, Quique, my point is none of us have any idea what we’re doing. Just because…

Ari (as Quique)

I’m so old, Sparky. You would think that being so old would give you some big old knowledge about parenting, and yet—

[Music changes to ethereal melancholy.]

David (as Death)

Age does not impart wisdom, experience does.

Ari

[Chuckles.] What the fuck?

Kyle

Quique, some moments in our lives are big, some changes and pieces of growth come in giant dramatic moments, and some come from a flustered confession with calcium coffee still on your breath as one of your closest friends is covered in coffee grease and definitely has her dress on backwards.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

You now have a new arc move, The Most Interesting Man in the Afterworld. If you share a personal story or secret about your past, you can summon something useful related to that story or secret as if you spent 1 AP. However, the specific thing being summoned is chosen by the other players or the GM. The thing I am summoning is Death.

Ari

[Smiling.] Oh boy.

Kyle

Next to you the void-like presence of Death is not in its giant catlike form but is instead of one more appropriate for this party. Let’s say a gorilla. That’s the most humanoid figurine. It’s a giant gorilla, one palm on the ground, the other holding a masquerade mask on top of the weird white LED mask it normally has. Death, mind you, still has some figure, still has the mask, still has the giant bells and still has the raven’s wings. The bells you couldn’t hear because the party’s too fucking loud. And yeah, it had said: age does not impart wisdom, experience does.

Ari (as Quique)

That’s nice to hear. Did you bring any letters or are you just here for the party?

David (as Death)

My path through the Rivers Styx does not yet cross yours nor do I find it appropriate to engage in ill-deserved merrymaking. However, there are unnatural forces at work that warrant investigation.

Kyle

Juniper suddenly appears and is like:

Kyle (as Juniper)

Hi, sir! What are you doing here?

David (as Death)

[Thoughtful grumble.]

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Quique)

Don’t let this occasional disrespect influence our many years of partnership, ma’am, sir…

Ari

I don't know what pronouns, its pronouns.

[00:35:00]

David (as Death)

I am without gender and without form. I am the essence of the grim, given a physical presence by the Rivers Styx.

Ari

I don't know the gender-neutral word for sir/ma’am, but that’s what Quique says in a polite way of referring to them.

David (as Death)

Enjoy your party. Should you choose to delve deeper into matters, we may cross each other again.

Ari

Is there any paper nearby that Quique could scribble something real quick and give it to Death as a letter?

Hallie

Sparky’s always got paper.

Kyle

Yeah, I will let you. What are you gonna scribble down?

Ari

“Could use news from you soon. She may be causing trouble again. It might be good to hear from you sooner than when this is all over.” And then just a little skull which is kind of like…

Kyle

Yeah. You scribble that as fast as you can. Unfortunately, Death and Batman have one thing in common.

Ari

They just leave?

Hallie

[Amused.] They just disappear all the time?!

Kyle

Yeah, you turn over and Death is gone.

Hallie

No!

Ari (as Quique)

Figures.

Kyle

Death is gone and Juniper is just standing there where it was. Juniper seems to be floating in the air. Death was pretty big as a gorilla. Were this a cartoon, you’d turn over and Juniper’s head would be literally at the height Death’s was.

Kyle (as Juniper)

Ooh, is that for me?

Ari (as Quique)

No, it’s fine. It also delivers my mail sometimes. Don’t say it, don’t use it, don’t abuse it. This is a thing that comes with privilege.

Kyle (as Juniper)

Hmm…

Kyle

Juniper, if this was animation, her model would just like move down.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Just sinks backs to the ground as she thinks.

Ari (as Quique)

Anyways. It had really good words, I guess, but you understand why it’s just hard to go in. I know I should, I know it should be the right thing, and I’ll go in. I just wanted to say it, you know. I think I had been delaying the whole situation way too much. It might explain my hesitance and maybe even weaknesses around this whole situation.

Hallie

Sparky has been this close to drinking some Dead Bull herself this whole conversation, but instead:

Hallie (as Sparky)

Quique, I worry that you saw what you were most afraid of in my reaction and my reaction was because I didn’t realize how hard this was going to be for you. I thought she was another one of your nieces. That is what I thought this was. You have so many of those kids, and they’ve all turned out great. Ariel’s going through it right now, but that’s not really their fault, and every teenager goes through it. Xochi seems worse than other teenagers, yes, but there’s a few—

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Quique)

But Sparky… Didn’t you hear—

Hallie (as Sparky)

There’s a few bad apples. You know? It’s fine. Yunuen’s great.

Ari (as Quique)

Sparky, didn’t you hear that many of them didn’t turn right because of her before?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Well, I… No. I mean, sometimes… [Stammers.]

[Tender piano music begins.]

I still haven’t gotten over Lucas Bang. Lucas Bang sucks. I hate him, he’s the worst, and I’m still not over him. We don’t make good choices sometimes, and that’s fine. Sometimes, sometimes you do things that make you feel like a failure, and it’s hard, but that doesn’t…

Quique, I’m just surprised and caught off-guard, and I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be for you. That is why I’m so flabbergasted here. I don’t think I could think less of you if I tried.

Ari (as Quique)

Really? Even…

[Music ends abruptly.]

Ari

Wait. That actually sounds a little bad. “I can’t think ‘less’ of you if I tried.”

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Really?

Kyle

Yeah, it was one of those… it was really sweet and then I thought about it and I was like, wait a second.

Hallie

Wait. Wait. My thing? What did I…? Wait.

Ari

“I couldn’t think ‘less’ of you if I tried.”

Hallie

Yeah! Because if I was like, wow, I really hate Quique…

Ari

You’re already at rock bottom.

Hallie

I don’t think, even if I was like man, I’m in a bad mood, I’m gonna set out today to hate Quique… I don’t think what is happening right now is your fault. This is all going in character now, so shut up, guys.

[Music returns.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

I don’t, I don’t… That’s not what I…

Do you see? Do you see how I’m butchering this right now?

Ari (as Quique)

I do, and I do appreciate it.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

“I do.”

Kyle

“I do, and I appreciate it.” I do see how bad you’re doing and that makes me feel better. Thank you.

Hallie

I think that’s really funny, though.

Hallie (as Sparky)

See? See? Oh god…

Ari (as Quique)

I know it’s a lot to process. I know I probably should have said it earlier, but…

Hallie (as Sparky)

Mm-hmm. But that’s okay.

Ari (as Quique)

I have laid my reasons why.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Of course. It’s hard. It must have been really difficult.

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah. You wanted to know things about me, and now you do. I was keeping it guarded for a while, but now there it is, it’s in the open, there for Sparky Malarky.

[00:40:00]

Hallie (as Sparky)

Quique, thank you for telling me. I’m sorry for everything that I have said, but I meant all of it in the best way.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I’m sorry for everything I said. I stand by it.

Hallie

I stand by it!

Ari (as Quique)

I know, Sparky. I do appreciate it. I do appreciate the support. I still can’t tell if it’s a fake embarrassment for me or a true one, but that is on me, that is something that I will have to deal with. I do appreciate the support, because that does seem genuine.

Hallie (as Sparky)

It is.

Ari (as Quique)

I know I have to go in as well. So, with that information out in the open, it might be a little easier if that support continues.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay. Okay.

Ari (as Quique)

Are you up for that, detecteen?

[Music ends.]

Emily (as Irene)

Obviously. I was just letting you two be vulnerable.

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Sparky)

[Stammers.] I need a drink.

Emily (as Irene)

Besides, I may slightly understand from an abstract point of view. For example, I like to think that Elliot’s family was pretty okay, and look how he turned out. Sometimes people aren’t what you hope they are.

Hallie (as Sparky)

She’s got a checkmate argument there with Elliot.

Ari (as Quique)

[Smiling.] That was a pretty solid argument.

Hallie (as Sparky)

So much better than any argument I had.

Ari

I don't know. I know Irene would not like a sudden hug. I know that’s not a thing.

[Music box music begins.]

But I don't know, I think Quique will not say anything at Irene but I want to show some silent, like…

Kyle

They stare at each other in stony silence of appreciation.

Emily

I was gonna say, if you’re not sure what to do, Irene would really love, like, a nod.

Ari

Okay. I think Quique will do that.

Hallie

Something very adult, very adult and professional.

Ari (as Quique)

Thank you, detecteen. You are truly a really bright, insightful mind.

Emily

Instead of saying “thank you, yes,” she kind of ducks her head down into her shoulders and turns a little red. She’s very pleased.

[Music ends.]

Emily (as Irene)

Okay… let’s go now, I guess.

Ari (as Quique)

Yes, let’s go in.

Ari

He’s gonna look at Sparky and Irene.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah, we can, we can… yeah.

[Swing music begins.]

Hallie

Then Sparky’s gonna look down at Irene because Irene is also part of this.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah, because we’re gonna stick together. I don't know where my assistant went, but us three at least, we’re gonna stick together and we’re gonna stop Quique’s daughter.

[Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

[Speaking quickly.] I’m gonna do this announcement break in 15 seconds or less, because all you have to know is that Hallie and David from Catching Up David are running a flash fiction contest with $2,200 worth in prizes, but you have to register by this Friday at jerboalit.com/registration. Nailed it!

[The sounds of a crowd politely clapping carries out of the announcements.]

Kyle (as announcer)

[In Xochi’s musical cadence.] Everybody, I proudly present… the amazing Xochi’s newest musical: Swanshine!

Kyle

Standing in front of a stage, a figure that you don’t recognize, one that’s dolled up and excited and looks like a very tall Xochi lookalike, announces the introduction to the first song of Swanshine!, and in front of you the waterfall parts open and laying, as if a mermaid on a rock, is Xochi with beautiful swan wings.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

She and the people around her start to sing in that magically beautiful voice.

Alicia (as Xochi)

[Singing]

I dreamed of a river

That stole away my breath

I heard it

I felt it

Flowing through life and LIFE 

Deep in the waters depths

So NOT shy and so NOT withdrawn

I saw it

I drank it

My mirror was the SWANSHINE! 

Alicia (as Xochi)

I should probably introduce myself. I mean, you know who I am, no need to applaud.

[Crowd laughs and applauds]

[00:44:54]

Alicia (as Xochi)

But my character. Of all the magical creatures in this river, there was one more mis-mis-understood than the rest. the most beautiful, brilliant, shining swan… Swan-chi.

Alicia (as Xochi)

[Singing]

Come my MANY FRIENDS

Bask in BRILLIANT LIGHT (Spoken: My light!)

The darkness

Is DUMB

And for LOSERS

Kyle

Everyone roll me Keep Your Cool with disadvantage.

Emily

[Grumbles.]

Hallie

Boo!

[Rolls.] God damn it.

Ari

[Rolls.] Six.

Emily

[Rolls.] Five.

Hallie

Nine.

Kyle

I don't know what you all think of the song, but the crowd around you likes it. They really like it.

Hallie

We’ve all got our WherePods in. We better all have our WherePods in.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

Yeah, your emotions aren’t escalating.

Hallie

No.

Kyle

But, Xochi shouts to the audience:

Alicia (as Xochi)

Alright everyone, let’s join in for the next chorus!

Kyle

No one else seems to notice it, but Sparky, you notice a green tinge on the lips of everyone in the crowd as everyone in the room, including yourself, sings with a voice that is not their own.

[Music turns ominous]

Audience (x12)

We love - we love Xochi

Alicia (as Xochi and backup singers)

[Singing]

Soon you’ll set the swan free

Soon you’ll set yourself free

By opening your heart 

Shackling your soul

Soon you’ll all be

Singing for me!

Singing for Xochi.

[Musical number ends with roaring applause.]

Kyle

The song ends and everyone starts applauding.

Kyle (as Xochi)

Thank you. Thank you! I am so glad that you came here for my premier of my musical that was written and starring ME, and no one else~

Let’s party~!

[Hip Mexican music begins.]

Kyle

And everyone cheers. Xochi does a dab stagedive.

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Somehow.

Kyle

And everyone starts carrying her around.

Hallie

Is the green tinge still on everybody now that we’re not singing along or was it just…?

Kyle

Nope, it’s gone. The only person is Xochi, but Xochi’s always had this kind of creepy-looking green lipstick.

Hallie

Okay. I look at Irene and Quique and just mouth, like, “you good” with two thumbs up.

Emily

Irene looks at you with her usual deadpan expression.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay, so you’re fine.

Kyle (as Juniper)

I’m good, Boss!

Hallie (as Sparky)

Oh! Oh good. Okay.

Ari (as Quique)

Yeah, you know, as good as I’m gonna get. Nothing magical going on yet.

Hallie (as Sparky)

Okay… Okay. Did anybody else see the green?

Emily (as Irene)

Yes, she has green lipstick.

Ari (as Quique)

Did you just notice, Sparky?

Hallie (as Sparky)

No, not on Xochi. No, everybody else had it. Everybody else had it!

Hallie

This is all said through exaggerated miming because we can’t hear each other through how fucking loud it is and also our WherePods.

Hallie (as Sparky)

No-no, everybody else had it.

Hallie

She’s gesturing to the crowd.

Emily

Irene points to herself and cocks her head.

Ari (as Quique)

I don’t even have lips, Sparky. How does that work?

Hallie

I get out a post-it note and I write this down.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Then I also put, like, “green = Necromon?” question mark, afterwards. Because wasn’t green a Legendary Necromon thing?

Kyle

Yeah, yeah it was.

Hallie

Yeah, alright. I’m connecting these dots.

Emily

Irene takes away your post-it note and your pencil…

Hallie

No! No.

Emily

…and writes in tiny cramped little handwriting “Legendary” in front of the word Necromon and hands them both back to you. And crosses out the question mark.

Hallie

I write “ty” for thank you.

[Laughter.]

And then I shrug.

Hallie (as Sparky)

I don't know, just… that happened.

Ari

Quique’s gonna shrug.

Emily (as Irene)

If there is a Necromon, I will catch it!

Hallie

Thumbs up.

[Music ends.]

Okay, so what is our goal? What are we doing, gang? Do we want to get into the back room? We’re interested in why Xochi wanted the Necrominaninanin.

Ari (as Quique)

Could it be in her, like, dressing room?

Hallie (as Sparky)

Yeah.

Emily (as Irene)

Yeah.

[00:50:00]

Hallie

So like, we want to get into her dressing room and snoop through her stuff. Right?

Ari

Yes.

Emily

Yeah. I think we should snoop through her stuff, and I think there are a couple people we could try talking to, one of them is Jam, to see if they know anything about Ariel.

Kyle

Jam’s just been sitting there nodding their head this whole time because Jam is at the rejects table with you.

Hallie

God… God. Alright.

Kyle

Jam hasn’t heard a word you said. Jam thinks you’re doing charades.

Emily

[Smiling.] Should we just take Jam with us?

Kyle

Actually, Jam writes a post-it note and gives it to you.

Ari

Oh god.

Hallie

Agh!

Kyle

It says “I like writing notes too.”

[Laughter.]

Juniper takes it, writes down “so do I,” and hands it over.

Ari (as Quique)

I think we need to be more discrete.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

I give them their own. I give Juniper and Jam their own pack of post-it notes so they can communicate between themselves. Well, we could tell them to go find…

Kyle

Juniper will write down a note. “What are we doing, Boss?”

Hallie

I’m gonna look for Quique’s permission on this one because it involves his kid. So, I’m gonna put “find Ariel?” question mark, arrow to them.

Ari (as Quique)

I don't know how good it will do at this point, but I think…

Ari

And he’s gonna look at Jam.

Ari (as Quique)

…I think they like this kid, so…

Emily

I would like to write Juniper a note. It says “please do not die, I still need to duel my rival.”

Kyle

She gives you a thumbs up.

Hallie

My only rival.

Ari

My only rival.

Kyle

Only rival.

Hallie

Who has ever existed.

Kyle

She blushes, actually. She blushes.

Emily

Irene does not respond at all.

Kyle

She sends a note, “we can duel right now.”

Emily

Irene writes, “no,” with a period, and then “thank you” with another period.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Okay. Okay.

Hallie

I’d like to further instruct Juniper to text me when she finds Ariel. We have phones, right? I guess we don’t need to be doing post-its. We could just have a group chat.

Kyle

Yeah, you check your phone and you {“definitely have Juniper’s phone number in there”}.

Hallie

Yeah, because she’s my assistant. Why wouldn’t I?

Kyle

Alright, sounds good. Both of them are gonna go off on this mission. They’re excited. They’re still talking via post-it notes.

Hallie

They’re adorable. Platonically. They’re obviously—

Emily

Wait. Question. Did you give Jam a pair of WherePods?

Hallie

… Yes.

Kyle

Juniper’s gonna look back at you and kind of do a ‘don’t worry about it.’ You’ll look up and you’ll see that {“Jam has had WherePods in his ears the whole time”}.

Hallie

This tricky… This tricky trickster.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

That’s the only words I can think of.

Kyle

And yeah, they are off to find Ariel. They’re gonna stay on this floor. I’m gonna say this is a three-floor building. There’s a party on this floor, there’s a second party on the floor above, a cooler party, and then there’s the pentpenthouse suite.

Emily

Are these all Xochi’s parties? Is Xochi allowing there to be a party that’s cooler than hers?

Hallie

I thought the party just spanned three levels.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

Yeah. It’s the same party. It’s just different levels of coolness.

Hallie

Yeah.

Emily

Oh, okay.

Kyle

She spends a lot of time here because this is where she gets the most attention. You notice looking around that none of the actually important and powerful people in Necropolis are here. Despite this being a bunch of wealthy and powerful people, this is what Xochi considers ‘the rabble.’

Emily

I have a question.

Kyle

Yeah?

Emily

Was there a place set out anywhere for Mallea? And which floor was it on?

Kyle

[Smiles.] You see Mallea and Mossies fighting over a piece of paper.

Kyle (as Mossies)

See-sawm!

Ari (as Mallea)

Uh-lay-um!

Kyle

The Mossies have their teeth on it. They’re pulling it back.

Ari (as Mallea)

[Grumbles.]

Emily (as Irene)

Drop it!

Emily

Irene says, and takes it away from both of them.

Kyle (as Mossies)

See-sawm!

Kyle

A Mossie stays on and gets pulled off. Yeah, this is a much fancier invite to the exclusive party upstairs for Mossies and Mallea. Because they impressed Xochi during the last party, they are in fact invited to the cooler party upstairs. The rest of you aren’t, though. The rest of you are invited to this. So, what are you gonna do?

[Silly sneaky music begins.]

Hallie

One shenanigan that I have that I think would be extremely funny is if I could use some of my AP…

Kyle

Uh-huh?

Hallie

…to add something useful to the environment that wouldn’t necessarily be there otherwise. I would like at least one love crepe to just unlock any door that we want.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

Oh wait! I could also—because I can choose… With my mascot suit advanced, I can choose what it is every time. It can be a different one. It was a crepe last time, I didn’t use it so it wasn’t relevant, but this one can be a Xochi mascot suit.

Ari

Oh…

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

I can get anywhere in that, because it’s Xochi.

Kyle

And it looks identical.

Hallie

I mean, but like, of course Xochi hired a hype mascot for her own party. I have clearance, I’m the hype mascot.

[00:55:00]

Kyle

Alright. You’ve got an invite. You’ve got a Xochi mascot suit. You have a crepe that opens everything, although, I want to note, the crepe will open every door in your vicinity as soon as you make it.

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

So you do have to sit down and cook the crepe.

Ari

Oh, that’s right, that’s right.

Hallie

[Laughs.] I have to cook a crepe and get out our video game cooking, like, set up an Arthur Morgan with a camp in the…

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

[Laughing.] So, either we just make a crepe and then go in any door that opens…

Kyle

Just at the table.

Ari

Either we just make a crepe…

Hallie

…or, the other thing I could do is use my two Adventure Points because summoning something useful that wouldn’t otherwise be there is only 1 per item. I could use 2 AP to summon two more Xochi mascot suits.

Ari

Oh my god.

Hallie

And then we could all have a Xochi mascot suit.

Ari

I don't know if Quique would like that.

Hallie

Quique would hate it! Agh, I didn’t think of that. Okay, what if… one is Xochi, one is a swan because it’s Swanshine!, and then a third one is, um…

Emily

A perfectly round sun with Irene’s arms sticking straight out.

Hallie

Sticking out! Like a toddler that you put in a pumpkin outfit or something for Halloween. Yes.

Ari

Quique could merge his legs into the swan mascot suit to make it even better.

Hallie

You’ve got a point. You’ve got a point.

Ari

I like the memes of using the mascot suits.

Kyle

I was actually just gonna cut away, so I’m gonna say:

[Whooshing sound signaling a scene change. Music changes to club music.]

We can now hear the thud, thud, thud of the music downstairs, but whereas it didn’t fit earlier, up here it actually fits really, really well. The music from downstairs just works as a (thud, thud, thud) for this cool EDM music. It’s a dark room, you got some LED lights, and some folks are just chilling out having a good time. They all look hip and cool. I’m gonna say they look like early 2000s cool, chilling on beanbags.

[Music changes to awkward ambling music.]

As a Xochi costume just flop, flop, flops around because it doesn’t have legs.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

A weird homemade swan walks in, moving all of its appendages perfectly. If it’s alright, Ari, I’ll say Quique separated some of his body parts to he can maneuver multiple arms at once.

Ari

I like that. Yes.

Kyle

And then finally just this sun, (wobbling) back and forth, just awkwardly walks into the party room upstairs which is a cool lounge bar vibe.

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

I will say all of your mon are inside the sun. The sun circles while you walk, so they’re just being rotated around and around.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-eee~

Emily

I was picturing a little hamster wheel type situation. They’re making it rotate.

Kyle

Yes, I love that. Your mon are just making it rotate.

Hallie (as Pokeyo)

Oh-ee-kope. Oh-ee-kope.

Kyle

So you have gotten to the second floor.

Hallie

Yay.

David (as Death)

I see you have chosen to investigate the mysteries of this penthouse.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Lounging at one of the tables, drink in hand, you see a rabbit with a mask and raven’s wings.

Ari (as Quique)

I thought it was probably the best thing to do, you know.

David (as Death)

Know that whatever knowledge you gain shall be a burden for you to bear should you continue. Unfortunately, I cannot say more about what you will find, as the biting interference of late has shortened the reach of my sight.

Ari

In the middle of his speech, Quique will slowly slide the letter to put it on Death’s tunic.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

We’re gonna try this again.

David (as Death)

Hmm, I see.

Ari (as Quique)

Please?

David (as Death)

As I informed you previously, such actions are not yet for me to take, but I shall relent.

Kyle

It takes it in its tiny little rabbit hands and puts it back.

David (as Death)

I shall away, and in that time you will face your first obstacle. Are you prepared for it?

Ari (as Quique)

I cannot lie to you. I am definitely not prepared for what is coming. But you know, I’ll face it anyways.

Kyle

It looks to Sparky.

David (as Death)

I was not talking to you, Señor Hueso Canaca.

Ari (as Quique)

Oh…

Kyle

Sparky, take a GM Intrusion.

Hallie

What the fuck does that mean?! Excuse me?

Kyle

Take a GM Intrusion.

Hallie

Excuse me?!

Kyle

Something bumps into you.

Hallie

Okay. Fine. Fine.

[Ghostly credits music begins.]

Kyle (as Lucas)

Oh! I’m, I’m real sorry about that.

Hallie

Oh for fuck’s sake! Can he leave?! Can he go home? Why does he have to be everywhere? He’s a criminal now.

Kyle

And that is what makes Lucas Bang all the more famous to Xochi.

[Music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

[01:00:00]

Kyle

And that’s where we’re gonna end the session.

Emily

Guys, don’t worry, I would love to turn my entire body in this little sun suit and attempt to punch him.

Hallie

I was just gonna kick him in the nuts and then run, personally. That was gonna be my choice, or I was gonna say the Necromon lose their shit inside the sun costume.

Emily

Please, yes.

Kyle

Yeah, they’re the only ones who might know why Lucas Bang is here.

Hallie

Right. I think they’d make that connection.

Kyle

They’ve connected the dots.

Hallie

They’ve connected them.

Kyle

I want you to know, Hallie, that this only happened because you brought up not being over Lucas Bang.

Hallie

I know it did. I know it did!

Kyle

I had ideas for other obstacles that might appear. I was like, oh, maybe Yunuen breaks in.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

You know, Ariel is doing things. I had a whole list. Then I looked through the characters and I’m like, alright, who can I have appear that’s an obstacle that’s gonna force them to really try something new. And I was like, oh, Lucas Bang, Hallie brought him up.

Hallie

Yeah, I know, I’ve hoisted my own petard.

--

Kyle

Alright, let me go through reminders quick. Hallie, do clever swears instead of “fuck.”

Ari

I think the ship might have passed on that one.

Hallie

I’m trying my best, but then an F-bomb is just funny, and I’m like, yeah… I’m not clever enough to think of clever swears.

Kyle

Hallie, Sparky has an arc move.

Hallie

Yeah, so about the arc move. I actually at some point deleted all of it from my character sheet, so it just says “once per adventure, instead of spending 1 AP to,” and then it stops. So I haven’t—

Kyle

Why didn’t you ask me? I could have written it down at any time.

Hallie

Because I was embarrassed. I figured I should just bite the bullet now and say hey… because you were bringing it up. I didn’t want to bring it up, I wanted you to bring it up, and then me to say hey, I deleted this, so I’ve only used it the one time.

Kyle

You’re in charge of your own character sheets!

Hallie

Okay, but my character sheet is good aside from that, aside from my arc move, the thing that we worked really hard on…

Kyle

The thing that was vital to your…

Hallie

…that was the culmination of all of Sparky’s character.

--

Kyle

So, let’s go through our Slice of Life Complications. I’ve been doing it kind of, uh, mixing it up, doing it strange, but this time… I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t have any ideas for mixing it up, so we’re just gonna go flat classic this time.

Hallie

Flat classic.

Kyle

Flat classic.

Hallie

We call that flassic. Oh, that sounded sexual.

Ari

Oh no.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

We don’t call it flassic.

Kyle

No, we don’t’.

Hallie

Never mind. Arc move, You Know Best. No one listen to me.

Kyle

Anyways. Hallie, what’s your flassic suggestion for today?

Hallie

[Silly and drawn-out uncomfortable thinking sound.]

--

Kyle

I mean, you aren’t one for fashion, but honestly kind of creepy-looking green lipstick.

Hallie

What do you mean I’m not one for fashion? Excuse you. I am wearing a pirate outfit to this fancy shindig.

Kyle

A backwards pirate outfit.

Hallie

A backwards pirate outfit that has coffee stains on it.

Kyle

That’s why I said dress. You’re not actually wearing a dress, you’re wearing a pirate’s outfit, but it looked like a dress because the backwards coat goes down.

Hallie

It’s like one of those swashbuckler coats but now it’s like… That’s really funny.