Anyone Can Wear the Mask

Transcript by Lily Mwangi

Emily (as the Hero) 

I'd like to tell you the story of how I saved my city. Hopefully, that's what I will say to my grandchildren after living a long and happy life and not dying from not saving my city. I consider myself somewhat of a hero. And I—I—I put that little, like, disclaimer of I consider myself because most people don't particularly consider me a hero yet, but, um, that's fine. I call myself lucky charm because I wish I was luckier, but sometimes I actually am.

[Intro song plays, "When I Swing By" by Miracle of Sound]

Kyle  

Hello, and welcome to Quest Friends. Today we're gonna be playing Anyone Can Wear the Mask by Jeff Stormer. Anyone Can Wear the Mask is a new storytelling game about a hero, a villain and their city. Yeah. So before we get started and kinda talk about what the game is, we should probably, like, introduce our voices so you're not spending too long wondering who are these people? So my name is Kyle. My pronouns are he/him and I will be playing the City today.

Tom  

My name is Tom, my pronouns are also he/him and I will be playing the Villain whose pronouns are yet to be determined.

Emily  

I'm Emily, my pronouns are she/her, and I will be playing the Hero whose pronouns are probably he/him, but also yet to be determined.

Kyle  

Yeah, so there's a lot that's yet to be determined, because Anyone Can Wear the Mask is a three player, GM lists storytelling game. It's very different than what we've played on here before where instead of me spending hours and hours planning, this is a game with no planning, no prep, no GM, and just a handful of D6s and a deck of cards. All right, so with that, are we ready to get started?

Tom 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle  

So the first part of this game, which is a big part of a lot of just games, which is part of the reason I like them so much is that we're actually going to come up with our characters right now. We're supposed to start with the City. Now, the City is gonna be populated with NPCs, people that Emily's character saves and just good folks who are gonna be put in a lot of danger. Building the city, I have to determine a few things. I have to determine the name, I have to determine the size and I have to determine the four major sections. So we could have a small town, a bustling borough, a major metropolis, the whole wide world or to infinity and beyond. I was really tempted to make it like a pizza, just a small store. [Laughter.] A single—a single shopping mall. Actually, no, no, this is—this is—this is gonna be a—this is gonna be a Mall city. This is Mall town. Oh, no. So when malls were first introduced, one of the ideas behind them was that they would be small cities within their own right. And for most places, this never took off with the exception of Mall town. Mall town is not just a commercial district. It actually has, like, buildings and homes and people who work there. Now, there's no, like, apocalypse or anything keeping them from going outside. They just choose to live in a Mall town.

Tom  

So this is an important question. Is it like an American mall in that it's like a building but with, like, big skylights in the hallways and then room buildings moving off of the central areas? Or is it like a Japanese covered mall? Or an underground mall? Like what—what type of mall are we looking at for this Mall town?

Kyle  

So I was thinking like an American mall where it's got—Salt Lake City's mall is a good example. It's got like a nice outdoor section. It's a mix between, like, a mall and a university campus.

Tom  

Okay, okay, so like fancy open air bits in addition to like the corridors of shops?

Kyle  

Absolutely. It does have a very, very big, like, underground parking lot though. Like any place a building is, there's an underground parking lot. And in fact, of my four locations, the one that is going to be spades ‘cause we have to have one location pursued as cards. Spades is gonna be Lotze

Tom

Lotze?

Kyle

Lotze. Lotze is full of a lot of people just trying to make their way. In Mall town, you still have things like homelessness. A lot of folks kinda live in Lotze if they don't have another place to live. It's just a nice little community. Next one is going to be hearts. And hearts, you gotta do the food district, the food court. The food court is set up to be like an actual Regal Court. This is not a friendly place for people. This is where, like, the elites of the city live in the food court. People can still go to the food court for food of course, but that's where they get really nickeled and dimed.

[00:05:00]

That's where a lot of their money gets taken. And the people who live behind the big, opulent gridded barriers of each of the restaurants are—are the kings and queens of this area. 

Tom

This is incredible. 

Kyle

Okay, the next one is the—What's the luck symbol? Leaf symbol.

Tom

Clubs?

Kyle 

Clubs.

Tom 

Have you ever played cards before Kyle in your life?

Emily

The luck symbol. [Chuckles.]

Kyle  

I have. I have. I haven't played them in a long time. The next one is clubs. And I'm not just gonna make the clubs the clubs. Even though I really wanna make the clubs the clubs, the clubs is the school district. Now I don't wanna put any actual, like, children in danger.

Emily (as the Hero)

Don't make me fail to save children. Kyle, don't make me fail to save children please.

Kyle  

Anyways, because of that—

Tom (as the Villain)  

So spiderman, choose. Who will you save?

Kyle

Because of that, this is going to be a college. This is the university is going to be the club area.

Tom  

How does it tie into the mall theme? Like, is it the local Sears? Is it the GameStop? Is it the Payless shoe store? I can just keep saying brands.

Kyle  

[Laughter.] No, it's the Forever 21. 

Tom

Is it across from the Hot Topic? 

Kyle

Yes, it is across from the Hot Topic. But the Hot Topic, that's really populated by the teens. And as I said, I’m not gonna put anyone who's not a legal adult in danger today. So we're gonna focus on the Forever 21 which will just, from this point on, be called the Make it To 21. 

Tom

Whoo! Oh, no.

Emily

Whoo!

Kyle

It's a store all about really achieving your life dreams in Mall town and making it to 21. So, not Make it To 21. We're gonna make it at 21. At 21 you're gonna make it, kid.

Tom

Now, that's thinking with your capitalism. 

Kyle

[Chuckles.] And then finally, we have diamonds.

Tom  

We need a middle class district. We've got a low income area and we've got the elite districts.

Kyle  

Okay, diamonds. Yeah, no, I like that. Diamonds is just—That's the part that looks like a regular mall, including the fact that a lot of malls today are kind of—They're not in their heyday anymore. And the diamond district isn't either. There's some small shops. It's usually like a chain that's died out everywhere else. You have, like, a blockbuster there because it was owned by a single guy who was a franchise blockbuster. So that's gonna be what the diamond district is. And it actually is going to be called the diamond district because I remember when I lived in a place it was called, like, Yacht Club apartments, and they were shitty, mediocre apartments, but they were called the Yacht Club to make them seem really opulent and fancy. And at some point, the diamond district probably was but not anymore. And now it's just a regular part of Mall town. So that’s Mall town, an indoor outdoor mall. We have Lotze. We have the Food Court. We have Make it At 21, and then we have the Diamond District. 

Tom

All right. 

Kyle

Next part we have to come up with is who is the hero of Mall town. They can't be Paul Blart. That's my only crisis.

Tom  

[Laughter.] Yeah.

Kyle

‘Cause they can’t be a mall cop.

Emily

I don't know anything about Paul Blart other than he's a mall cop. And so—

Kyle 

That's all anyone knows about Paul Blart. 

Emily

Okay, because you need to stop me if I accidentally make Paul Blart, but I hope I don't.

Kyle  

If you don't make a sad angry man on a Segway, you'll be fine. 

Emily

No, but I—I feel like he's definitely a sad man. [Laughter.]

Tom  

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Okay, who is—who is your hero? Who's the hero of Mall town?

Emily  

Hmm. The hero of Mall town grew up in Mall town, went into Make it At 21, grew out of Make it At 21 and did not make it at 21. 

Tom

[Whimpering.] Oh, no. 

Emily

[Chuckles.] I don't know. I—I feel like he may be somewhat beloved, but not actually considered much of a hero. Like he's just kind of around and everybody knows him ‘cause he never left.

Kyle  

How powerful is your hero?

Emily  

Friendly neighborhood hero.

Kyle  

Okay, friendly neighborhood. Friendly whole burr hood. I don't know. 

Emily

You tried.

Kyle

Friendly neighborhood—

Emily  

Wait, why would you say whole burr hood and not mall burr hood?

Kyle  

So then where—where—where do your hero's powers come from?

Tom  

And what are they out of curiosity? 

Emily

Asks the Villain. 

Tom

Yeah, for no particular reason. 

Emily

Luck. 

Tom

Luck. Miraculous, simply the best. 

Kyle

So he's just very lucky?

Emily  

His name is Adrien and he's very lucky. 

Tom

Yes.

Kyle  

His name is Adrien, superpowers luck. Do we know how he got these powers? 

Emily

Who knows? 

Kyle

Who knows?

Emily 

He considers it like enough well wishes from his grandmother imbued him with luck.

Tom  

I love it. 

Kyle

Now the final question is how will you help your city? You have four options. You have clubs, you'll be the hand of the people protecting them so they can thrive. You can be diamonds, you'll be the icon that they look up to for inspiration. You can be hearts.

[00:10:01]

You'll be the smiling face, a friend to those who need it. Or you can be spades. You'll be the dark night that avenges the injustice they suffer.

Emily 

Well, considering he's lucky from grandma's blessings, I think I'm gonna go with heart.

Kyle  

You’re gonna go with heart? 

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

Sounds good. And I'm actually gonna switch around hearts and spades ‘cause I have hearts as the Food Court and spades as Lotze. And it feels more appropriate to make spades the Food Court and hearts Lotze.

Tom 

Yeah, especially since Batman absolutely would be most at home in the fucking bougie food courts as Bruce Wayne.

Kyle  

Okay, so now that we know about Adrien, who is a hearts boy, loves his friends and Lotze and he's very, very lucky, what is his superhero name?

Emily  

Sometimes miraculously.

Kyle 

No, you're not.

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Tom 

I've got Lucky Charm.

Emily 

I was just gonna say Lucky Charm ‘cause I feel like that's what he considers himself or he wants to consider himself.

Tom

I love it. 

Emily

He's not necessarily that but that's okay.

Kyle  

Anyways, you know how Spider-Man begins and ends with a monologue? 

Emily

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

I would love to do that. But we needed to know who this guy was.

Emily  

He has a beanie.

Kyle 

[Chuckles.] I thank you for this. 

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Okay, he has a beanie. Wait—wait for me to be like, oh, I’ll just cut this out. And then the beanie becomes very, very important to the plot.

Tom

Yeah. Why would you cut something as critical as he has a beanie? What kind of editing style is that, Kyle?

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Kyle 

And then finally in the background, we have a villain that lurks and waits for their moments to strike. 

Tom

Yeah. [Evil laughter.] 

Emily

It's probably fine. 

Kyle

Okay, so now that we have a City, and we have a Hero, let's start the game. So to start the game, I'm gonna pull a card from the top of the stack and we're gonna do what it says. So I have pulled a 3 of spades, which means we are gonna go somewhere in imminent danger.

Tom  

And this imminent danger uses the suit from the card, correct? For which place we go to?

Kyle  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, as Tom said, this controls where we are and what's going on. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna describe the place, I'm gonna describe some people there, we might ask what Emily is up to, and then Tom is going to do some threatening stuff for us. So with the 3 of spades, we are in the food courts, but we're not in the fancy [inaudible 00:12:24] of the food court, not in the fancy backroom holes. We're in the part where everybody comes to eat. There are various people meeting up, making friends, just trying to live life in Mall town. We're gonna focus on one young lady. So she/her pronouns, and she is there just angrily trying to swipe her card at one of the checkout areas. They have automated checkouts and she just swipes declined. Swipes declined. Swipes, 

Kyle (as the City) 

You have no money, ma'am. 

Kyle 

As the voice keeps getting more and more polite, and she [inaudible 00:12:59], 

Kyle (as the City) 

Yeah. 

Kyle 

And just angrily walks off with a huff leaving her food just sitting there where it was gonna get checked out. And that's what you see, Adrien as you're just living your life.

Emily (as the Hero)

Uuhm, pardon me, ma'am.

Kyle (as the City)  

Oh great. So they got voices to follow us and remind us of our debts now? That's just fantastic.

Emily (as the Hero) 

Ah, no, it's just me, a normal person.

Kyle (as the City)   

Oh, a normal person? That's what they want you to think. 

Kyle

And this woman with large curly hair turns around with you and just points a finger basically right. She's like booping your nose. She might even just, like, accidentally whack it a little bit. 

Emily (as the Hero)

No. [Whimpering.]

Kyle (as the City)

I'm sorry. 

Emily (as the Hero)

No, it's fine. I just—I didn't wanna, like, go in there and like pay for your food if you didn't want me to ‘cause I thought that would be weird. But if you need a little cash, I actually do have some and I can—

Kyle (as the City)

You'll pay for my food? 

Emily (as the Hero)

Yeah, just this once. I mean, I don't have that much but, like, I’ll buy you that. 

Kyle (as the City)

Fantastic.

Kyle  

And suddenly she pulls just three trays out of nowhere and lifts them up and starts walking towards the checkout area.

Emily (as the Hero)  

Wait, I thought that it was just the one tray at the checkout.

Kyle 

She—she doesn't hear you. She's just like, 

Kyle (as the City) 

Thank you again. I really appreciate your help. 

Kyle 

Oh, and she lifts the trays, puts them all on one hand, extends the other one out to you and says,

Kyle (as the City) 

 My name is Trucy.

Emily (as the Hero)  

Nice to meet you Trucy. I'm just praying I have enough—I have enough money because I would really like to pay for all this food that I came into this situation knowing I was gonna buy.

Kyle  

Not hearing your words at all she just goes, 

Kyle (as the City)

Please call me Truce.

Emily (as the Hero)  

Great, Truce. 

Tom

And so, if you don't mind me stepping into the scene. 

Kyle

Oh, this was where I was gonna invite you in seconds. 

Emily

Oh no, I mind.

Tom

You return to the checkout area, you go up and how do you attempt to pay Adrien?

Emily  

Adrien is attempting to pay with cash and a lot of spare change.

Tom

[00:15:00]

So you—you try to push the bills in? Like smooth out the creases as best as you can, squeeze them in, pouring the change into the slot for the change, 

[Rock music begins]

and then it slowly [inaudible 00:15:11] back out, 

Tom (as the Villain)

Declined. 

Tom

You try to put it back in again. 

Tom (as the Villain)

And did I fucking stutter? Your money is no good here. I said declined. 

Tom

And then at that moment, mechanical arms search for it from either side of the automated checkout. Legs verse from beneath it and it rips itself up from the counter and one arm grabs for you the other for Truce, and the automated voice just says,

Tom (as the Villain)

We hope you're having a wonderful day here at the Food Court.

Kyle  

And since Adrien is not familiar with this part of the city at all, this is very out of his element, You only get to roll once D6.

Tom  

Which means I only get to roll one D6 for you. 

[Dice rolls.]

Tom (as the Villain)

I've rolled a 1. You stop the threat, but despite your best efforts, you can't save everyone. Lose someone. How do you eventually manage to scrape by and stop the threat? Who can't you save? 

Emily (as the Hero)

[Whimpering.] Why are we playing this game? This isn’t the first thing that happened. This isn’t the first roll. I love Truce.

Tom (as the Villain)  

Love Truce?

Emily (as the Hero)  

I get to choose who to dice. [Laughter.]

Tom (as the Villains)

Well, you can get yourself killed, Truce.

Emily (as the Hero)

I am playing as Truce for the rest of the game. Look, I understand what needs to happen. I just don't want it to. 

Emily 

Okay, so the questions are how do I scrape by and what happens or do you describe what happens?

Tom 

No, no, you get to describe all of what happens now from this point on.

Emily  

So I have to make up how Truce, my beloved child dies?

Tom  

I mean, she doesn't have to die. You just lose someone. That's the key thing here.

Emily  

Okay, okay, I can—I can make this work. Okay.

Emily (as the Hero)

Um, do they usually do this in this area? Because they don't do it in the rest of Mall town.

Tom (as the Villain)  

Uh, usually, they hire someone to come break your knees in.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I'm sorry, break my knees in?

Tom (as the Villain)  

Uh, I mean, if you're lucky.

Emily  

Adrien has been struggling and flailing and at the idea that the merciful thing that happens to you here is they break your knees in, he will struggle harder. And somehow, he gets one of his arms out and it's sort of stuck behind his back and he gets it right in like the little chink between two panels or something and pulls something off just completely by luck. It allows himself to get his other hand free. And by chance, his arm flails back and knocks a cup of soda onto the little exposed inside area in this machine, and it sparks and fizzles and dies.

Tom (as the Villain)  

No, no, not yet. I was so soon. I had only just begun my—I failed you.

Emily (as the Hero)  

It was not too soon. It was not soon enough. [Coughs.] 

Emily

But the one thing he realizes is that the drink that he had tipped was the drink that Truce had poured for herself. And he looks around him to see the three trays facedown, her food is scattered across the floor of the food court. And he looks down and then looks up into her eyes and doesn't know what to say.

Tom  

So in this scene, what you're saying is that Adrien loses Truce by being so uncomfortable with this encounter that he never speaks to her again?

Emily 

I mean, sure. He just—he doesn't know what to say. And his coins and money is everywhere. He can't go pick it all up to pay for new food. So he just stands there and waits for her to do something.

Tom  

And she doesn't respond. But her thoughts echo throughout the city as other people start walking up and start yelling things like,

Tom (as the Villain)

Oh, what the hell happened to this machine? I can't buy any of my food now. Now I don't have any money and I don't have any food. I’ll find another way to screw you each week. 

Tom

And the 3 of spades will not be discarded, but it will be outside of your reach.

[00:20:06]

Kyle 

This is the tragic problem of truly random games. Just like wow, what an incredible character Goodbye forever. Turn one.

Tom 

All right. It's a few days later, and I pulled the 7 of spades. So you're back in the Food Court. A guy's gotta eat after all.

Kyle 

Did you shuffle this fucking deck?

Tom  

I did. I shuffled it many times. If I pull another spades, I'll shuffle again. You're back in the food court. The guy's gotta eat after all, though, I'd imagine you're a lot less excited this time. 

Emily

Adrien is so upset to be here. 

Tom

Everyone's kind of giving you the side eye. No one is really happy to have you around. I mean, it's recent enough that people are like, oh, this is the guy who destroyed the paying stations. So now they only have like one pay station and it's really clogged up. So you've been standing in line for a while, when suddenly you just get a little bump on your back from somebody, which that's not surprising. Many people have been bumping into you, but it's followed by something that is strange after last incident, which is…  

Tom (as the Villain)

Oh, oh, oh, sorry.

Emily (as the Hero) 

[Stutters.] Oh, sorry. Totally me. I was here. And that was clearly in the way.

Tom (as the Villain)

Oh, I'm—I’m sorry. Sometimes I just—I—I struggle seeing—Uh, I can only get a prescription for reading. 

Tom

And you turn around and you see this small person. Their pronouns are they/them with giant glasses holding a book that they've been doodling in. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Is this just me? 

Tom

And as you turn around, they're like, 

Tom (as the Villain)

Uh, okay.

Tom

And they go back and they start doodling in their book again. But you can see next to one of their drawings they've tried writing their names in various fancy ways. So this is how Adrien met Ignatz.

Emily 

[Chuckles.]

Tom

Ignatz.

Emily  

Don't make me lose Ignatz too. 

Tom

[Laughter.] Um, so we're out. We're out among the tables, right? 

Kyle

Yeah, everyone's in line to pay for the food. 

Tom

Oh, yeah. All right, out in line. All of a sudden, Ignatz is just shoved over onto the ground. 

Kyle (as the City)

Ah!

Tom

You see a short girl, she/her pronouns with the slick shoulder length white hair, who's wearing what looks like if you didn't know any better a supervillain outfits, this black and pink, almost jumpsuit looking thing and just says, 

Tom (as the Villain)

Out of the way, Ignatz. You told me I would get to take your space in line this time because I, unlike you, I’m not a child. I, I’m, in fact, the great witch eternal and no one will ever stand in my way and align ever again.

Kyle (as the City) 

[Stutters.] Oh, oh, I'm—I’m sorry, Ms. Eternal, but we agreed to—to last time two times ago.

Tom (as the Villain) 

I don't remember that the same way. So I think no.

Kyle

And because our good boy Adrien does not know how to handle this situation or this place, he will only get one dice to roll again.

Emily  

Could he have been trying to help up Ignatz? Is he just—Does he have to just stand here and leave them on the floor?

Kyle 

Well, no, he's about to help. We're just rolling to see how it goes.

Emily

Okay.

Tom

Do you want me to use the same die or a different die?

Emily

The same die. 

Tom (as the Villain)

Okay. 

[Die rolls.]

Tom

Hey, that's pretty good. What do we got here? 

Emily

For me? 

Tom

Ah, so I rolled a 4 which means you rise to the occasion and manage to save the day. What great moment of heroism do you achieve?

Emily 

Well, first of all, Adrien is going to help up Ignatz from the floor where they’ve been laying, probably almost getting trampled by terrible rich people who are cranky because they can't pay for their food in a timely manner because of Adrien.

Tom (as the Villain) 

Thank you. Thank you. No, I'm—I’m fine. She's right. I—I did deserve this.

Emily 

Um, just really quick. How old are these?

Tom

Let's save the witch eternal to scale effectively with our reference is like 17 or something. Like— 

Emily

17, Okay.

Tom

In college early. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Um, so, you know, I respect that I don't really know your dynamics, but it does seem like maybe you didn't deserve to be pushed down. 

Tom (as the Villain)

Yeah.  

Emily 

But Adrien isn't so much looking at Ignatz. He'll turn his gaze to the witch eternal.

Tom (as the Villain) 

What? You’re calling me a coward because I don't accept people who call me a coward or a child.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I was actually going to say neither of those things. But I was kind of hoping you were gonna apologize for pushing down your friend, sibling person who you know I'm still not really sure of these dynamics

Tom (as the Villain)

[00:25:00]

Sibling with this nerd? Their—No, I—I don't need to be lectured by some weird guy in a food court. Witch eternal is never sorry for anything. I'm—I’m gonna go somewhere else now. I no longer want food here in the food court. Whatever. This is—this is boring. I'm gone. 

Tom

And she storms off.

Kyle 

And do you mind if I suggest how your luck gets involved for this one?

Emily 

Well, she didn’t shank me. So I think it’s fine. [Laughter.]

Kyle 

So Ignatz brushes themselves off and looks at their book which is—They're delighted is not been crinkled. But they notice there's a little—a few coins on the ground, and Ignatz picks them up and says, 

Kyle (as the City)

Oh, which eternal left her money here? I'll get some lunch and bring it back to her after this. Anyways, thanks again, sir. You help solve something that's been a problem for a while. You're like my lucky charm or something.

Emily

I like that.

Tom

But it was supposed to have been Truce. 

Kyle

A few more days pass. 

Tom

Mr. Lucky Charm.

Kyle

You've saved two people. Don't get too high and mighty here.

Tom

You’ve saved one person.

Emily

I have saved one person.

Kyle

The next one is going to be a jack of clubs. You're gonna hang out [inaudible 00:26:15] Make It at 21 the university and the jack is somewhere peaceful. So you're at Make It at 21. You just kind of roam around from time to time. You've—you've made it here. It looks like it normally does. It's a beautiful spring day, even though it's actually winter. But because it's indoors and it kind of has a greenhouse effect. But it's—it's beautiful in its own way. You've got these beautiful, lush flowers of spring, while above you, you can see the snow slowly settle on the skylights above.

Emily  

The hero has had both a failure and a success in the last couple days. And he's been thinking about that. He's the type to really think about every little tiny failure in his life repeatedly. Like when he goes to fall asleep, he'll think about something he did as a child that embarrassed him. And he can never stop thinking about it. And so, he'll come to Make It at 21 because he didn't make it at 21. So this is where he comes to think about what he's done. And he's just kind of, forget about it. And it is peaceful. It is relaxing. But it's also like, wow, I could have made a new friend and I did not.

Kyle

And it's funny you say that because you hear a voice behind you. It reminds you of Truce a bit in its determination, its ferocity. 

Kyle (as the City)

There you are.

Emily

[Piano music begins.]

Adrien will turn around, but like sort of not fully because he doesn't wanna get caught looking at someone if they're not actually talking to him because that's another nightmare scenario.

Kyle

And as you turn around, you see this woman, she/her about, let's say 18 wearing a school uniform, hands on her hips marching up to you. Most notably, you can see her large blue pigtails. It's like a neon blue color. And she walks up to you and says, 

Kyle (as the City)

I have been looking all over for you. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Who? Me? 

Kyle (as the City) 

You're the person my Ignatz has been talking about, right? You look just like in their drawing. 

Kyle

And she pulls up a piece of paper she's had and it looks like a photorealistic drawing of you like one of those court sketches.

Tom 

Oh my god. 

Emily (as the Hero)

This is so beautiful. But also we talked, like, very, very briefly. How did they do that?

Kyle (as the City)  

Well, ‘cause they're talented. Ignatz got me a perfect gift for the holidays. 

Kyle

And she whips out another piece of paper that's a drawing of her, but it's, like, very complimentary. I imagine, like, a sketch of, like, someone is a macho man, 

[Piano music stops.]

like a really beefy dude, but it's just her, like, looking really ripped and cool. And there are artistic liberties taken.

Emily (as the Hero)

[Giggles.] Wow. This is awesome. It looks so much like you.

Kyle (as the City)  

Yeah, a little too perfect. If you ask me. Anyways, that's why I'm here. I can't find them something as good as this and they said you were really lucky and could help me find something. 

Emily (as the Hero)  

Oh, god. Um, well, it was—it was—I've never actually tried, you know, helping someone with gifts because I'm not actually very good at gifts myself, but, uh, what do they like?

Kyle (as the City)

Well, 

Kyle

And she starts listing off a bunch of stuff. And I think we should segway to the Villain section at this point. 

Tom

Oh, yes. Tension rising. 

[Piano music starts.]

You know, it's another peaceful day out over Mall town, sun shining through the skylights and almost feel it's you weren't in the shade, which is where we find the witch eternal in her dorm room in the dark pouting. 

[00:30:00]

Emily

[Laughter.]

Tom

But there's something more sinister to these pouts. It's not the usual kind. There's a note on the desk in front of her and even without the lights on, it's pretty easy to see it just for words. “You weren't strong enough to take what you wanted. Do you want to have that kind of power?” And she moves to rip up the note, then stops, sets it down and just slams a fist on the desk and screams, 

Tom (as the Villains)

[Shouting.] I’m not weak!

Kyle

[Laughter.] And the scream briefly echoes. You're gonna hear it, like, briefly echo, but you can't hear any of that because you're hearing it over—you're hearing it over this blue haired woman finishing her list and finally saying, 

Kyle (as the City)

And sucks. They really, like, sucks. And I honestly don't know why.

Emily (the Hero)  

Sucks are great. I mean, it's not, like, weird to like, suck. It’s—

Kyle (as the City)

Hmm.

Emily (the Hero)

Sucks are a good—good gift. Have you ever—have you ever tried knitting?

Kyle  

Is that gonna be your—your—’Cause the next part is you saying how you give the person what they need. 

Emily

Oh!

Kyle

So do you want that to be it?

Emily

I was gonna—Yeah, I was gonna give advice because, like—Look, I can't pick something out for them. One of the big things about this gift is that they put so much work and heart into it. So I think if there's something that you do that you could make something for them, I think that they would really, really love that most of all. You just have to remember it doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect for them.

Kyle (as the City)  

Well, how am I gonna find anything like that? I'm not good at anything like that. 

Kyle

And as she starts pouting again, she actually does the thing where you put your hand to your face to think but her hands are actually full and she takes this little adorable woodcarving that's clearly homemade and just, like, taps it against her chin while thinking.

Emily (as the Hero)  

[Chuckles.] What is that adorable thing in your hand?

Kyle (as the City) 

Oh, this is just a moss ball, man. 

Kyle

And she takes this little round figurine that kind of looks like a moss ball if it was a creature and says,

Kyle (as the City) 

Yeah, I make them from time to time. Pretty cute, huh?

Emily (as the Hero) 

They're adorable. Wait, I thought you said you didn't make anything? 

Kyle (as the City)

Well, nothing except the moss ball, man. Daah!

Emily (as the Hero)   

But do you think that maybe Ignatz would—

Kyle (as the City)

No, nobody likes them, you know, except for my mom and my dad and my teachers and Ignatz. Ignatz loves them for some reason.

Emily (as the Hero)  

[Chuckles.] Adrien is just—Yeah, Adrien is gonna take a second to just, like, wait for the dots to connect.

Kyle (as the City)

Oh, see? Ignatz did say you are lucky. Thank you so much. I gotta get started on working on this right away. I need a very very special moss ball man thing.

Emily (as the Hero) 

Good luck. It's gonna be great.

Kyle (as the City)

Yeah, thank—thank you so much, sir. Uh, uh, here, take this. 

Kyle

And she grabs the moss ball that she was holding and she hands it to you. 

Kyle (as the City)

I—I—I use them as kind of business cards too. So if you ever need me, you can check the bottom for my contact info.

Emily (as the Hero)  

This is the most amazing business card I've ever seen. I’m gonna put it by my window.

Kyle (as the City)

Well, okay, but it does kind of fade in the sun. So don't put it too close.

Emily (as the Hero) 

Oh, okay. Oh, I'll be really careful. Oh, uh, please say hi to Ignatz for me.

Kyle (as the City)

Will do, Mr. Lucky Charm. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Mr. Lucky Charm. Hmm. 

Kyle

And as he walks away, you have gained a new ally. So an ally can do one of two things. If the villain role is a 1 in an attempt to save somebody, you can automatically make it a 4 or a 5.

Emily

Oh.

Kyle

Or you can use them, sacrifice them to defeat a person.

Emily  

Oh, I'm not gonna do that one. 

Kyle

And as— 

Emily

What is this ally’s name because I don’t think I ever—

Kyle 

Yeah, and as she walks away, whistling to herself, you look down, you see your contact info and you just see her signature, like an artist signature beautifully carved out [inaudible 00:34:16]. So we see the wooden figure get placed in your room. We don't see the entirety of the room right now. 

Emily (as the Hero)

I’m really careful not to let the sun fade it. 

Kyle

Yeah, we can actually see the sun beam and right before it gets to it. So we can see the sun beam rise and fall for a few days and then we end up with another day. Oh yeah, I love this. I got—I got an idea.

Emily  

Oh no. 

Tom

I've got an idea too.

Emily  

Oh no, I don't have any ideas.

Kyle  

The 4 of diamonds. 

Tom

Whoo!

Kyle

So this is gonna take place in the Diamond District. And as I said, the Diamond District is kind of like a conventional shopping mall. So you are in what used to be like a cage, jewelers or something like that. 

[00:35:00]

But now it's just—Again, it's like the blockbuster thing. This is not part of a chain anymore. It's just run by somebody who you don't even see around. The reminder of the gift for Ignatz reminded you that you had to get a gift for your—your nana. So you're looking for a gift for your nana trying to find the perfect thing. And as you're looking, a shoulder lands on your shoulder. 

Emily

Adrien jumps and looks. 

[Rock music begins.]

Kyle (as the City)

Well, hello there you lucky bow. What lucky lucky girl are you looking for a wonderful gift for today? And how many carrots does she need? 5, 10, 50? 

Kyle

And as he says that more and more actual carrots appear in his arms. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Actually— 

Kyle (as the City)

Ah! I'm just joking with your kid. We got all kinds of diamonds here. Look at these. Nothing over a single carrot. But may I say I make these buttes shine bu—beautiful—fully. [Stutters.]. 

[Rock music stops.]

Uh, great, great, great, great work there, Hank. Great, great, great sale. 

Kyle

And he turns over and he starts tapping his finger angrily and you can see his fingers tapping next to the nameplate for a man named Hank Halber Hall.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I think it was actually a really good spiel, Hank Hal—Hal—Hal—Halber—Halber Hall?

Kyle (as the City)

Actually, it's Halber Hall. And wait, you got—you got—you got little Hank’s name right?

Emily (as the Hero)

Well, I read it on the thing.

Kyle (as the City)  

Nobody reads on the thing.

Emily (as the Hero) 

Oh. It seems like the logical thing to do when you wanna make sure to get someone's name right, you know.

Kyle (as the City) 

I like your pal. I’ll only rip you off a little bit. 

Kyle

And as you go to look for the gift for your grandma, we're gonna move to the Villain. Now, this is a place that has the same color as hearts. So the Hero will have two dice to roll. But Villain, what are they rolling against?

Tom 

Oh, oh, boy. So you've met your new friend out here getting a gift for nana. And then you hear it, the ring from your pockets. 

[Halloween piano music begins.]

But it's not just an ordinary phone ring. This is a special—a special ring for a specific contact calling in with horror and dread. You draw the phone from your pocket knowing already what you will see calling dad. Seemingly against your own will you answer. 

Tom (as the Villain)

Son, are you still out there shopping? Please, didn’t we tell you that we had a little get together at the home today? Your mother was so interested in seeing you.

Emily (as the Hero)  

You didn't tell me. You never tell me these things until they're halfway through, dad.

Tom (as the Villain)

No, no. We warned you so far ahead of time. We know that you don't enjoy these sorts of things. But really? 

Emily (as the Hero) 

I love seeing you guys. It's just like you're never home and then when you are, you don't tell me.

Tom (as the Villain)  

We travel very often for business and we've tried very hard to help you understand that. It's not always easy raising a child from a 1000 miles away in amusement park town.

Emily (as the Hero)  

It's—it's—it's—it's Mall town, dad. It's Mall town. You know that.

Tom (as the Villain)  

No, no, I mean, my—my last conference was in amusement park town. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Oh. 

Tom (as the Villain)

The contract fair. Don't you remember from our last get together? Oh, wait, you missed that one too. Didn't you?

Emily (as the Hero)

That's why I'm saying you never tell me because there's always these get togethers and then you're like, oh, you missed the get together. And I'm like, well, maybe if you told me—

Tom (as the Villain)  

Son, if only you’d earn better grades in school, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now because you could have easily joined the company at a simple entry level position for $60,000 a year.

Kyle

In the background, Hank has been going through engagement rings and he just quietly shuts that door and he opens the door labeled sorry for your divorce.

[Halloween piano music stops.]

Emily

[Laughter.]

Tom 

[Laughter.] All right, I'm gonna roll the two dice for you now. 

[Dice rolls.]

And we pick the higher the numbers, correct? 

Kyle

Yeah. 

Tom

Yeah. All right. So lucky you. You got a 6. You push past your limits and become something greater than yourself. How do you inspire the people? Recover one injury, which you don't have, or take a point of inspiration.

Emily (as the Hero)  

Look, dad, you never tell me when you're having get togethers. And I know you know that you don't tell me. You call me afterwards. You know why I know that?

Tom (as the Villain) 

Why son?

Emily (as the Hero)   

Uncle Ben told me.

Tom (as the Villain)  

How dare you mention his name in my presence?

Emily (as the Hero)  

I’m mentioning his name because [inaudible 00:39:39] he's like a second father to me. And you know what? That's okay.

Tom (as the Villain)  

We—

Tom

And he seems taken aback. 

Tom (as the Villain)

We will discuss this later.

Emily (as the Hero)

When you—

Tom

Beep. No, no, get in the last word. You’re ruining the scene.

Emily (as the Hero)  

When you call me for your next get together.

Tom (as the Villain)

 No, no, I was trying to hang up first. No.

[00:40:00]

Emily (as the Hero)  

Screw you, dad. 

Tom

And you hang up first because he's fumbling with the phone.

Kyle  

And you turn over and you see with tears in his eyes. Hank Halber Hall.

Emily 

I am so sorry I got loud there at the end.

Kyle 

No, no, that's—that's what Hank needed to hear. And he puts a diamond down, the perfect diamond, the perfect thing nana would love. 

Kyle (as the City)

Here, this—this—this is on the house. 

Kyle

Hank needs to call his papa. And Hank—And he runs out of the—And actually, Hank walks to the back of the store and picks up a telephone to call his dad.

Emily 

Adrien will write him a very brief note. 

Emily (as the Hero)

[Piano music starts.]

Thank you so much for the offer on the ring and take some of the carrots that Hank had tossed aside. I'm bringing my grandma these carrots for her soup. She'll love them.

[Piano music stops.]

Tom 

Whoo! Whoo! And how does he sign the letter?

Emily  

Lucky Charm.

Kyle 

So we're gonna focus on a fridge, a mini fridge. It opens up and you see so much leftover soup in the mini fridge and we just cut as the fridge opens and closes the light turning on as it opens up and then turning off as it closes. And every time it opens up, we have less and less soup until finally one remains and I picked a 5 of spades.

Emily  

[Whimpering.] Not the spades again. You said you weren't gonna do it again. Don't make me go back there.

Tom

How the fuck have we gotten some of the spades?

Emily 

Don’t make me go back there.

Kyle (as the City)   

And that's what—And that's what Adrien—Sorry. That's what Lucky Charm is thinking. But one can only live on grandma's soup for so long. Because as all things do, grandma's soup eventually runs out. So you're back at the Food Court. You don't like being here. This is terrible. In fact, you see, briefly one of the kings of the food courts being, like, carried like a freaking scissor and you just can't stand it. How are you feeling?

Emily  

Oh, Adrien’s, like, pulled his beady a little further over his ears than his forehead. He knows it looks embarrassing, but he's, like, popped the color of his jacket up to hopefully make it so that people will be less likely to recognise his face. Because he's—he's waiting for more dirty looks. He's—he's so done with this. But grandma's soup is almost out and like that last bowl, he's got to savor it, right? So he's gonna save it for once he gets back in consolation. So he is looking forward to grandma's soup.

Kyle (as the City) 

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! 

Kyle

You hear the high pitched voices of two little kids. And one is like, 

Kyle (as the City)

Daddy! Daddy! I wanna—I wanna go to—I wanna go to the pizza place. 

Kyle

And the other one is like, 

Kyle (as the City)

Daddy! Daddy! No, I wanna go to Culzean Castle. 

Kyle

And this man is like, 

Kyle (as the City)

Dears, it's the same fundamental food. No, no, I hate—I hate open air cheese. Oh, I hate cheese that's hidden. It's like it has secrets to hide. 

Kyle 

And eventually, after a bit of aerating, the man is just like, 

Kyle (as the City)

Fine, fine here, you. 

Kyle 

And he hands a five-dollar bill to one of the kids and says,

Kyle (as the City)

You go to pizza place and you, 

Kyle 

And he hands another five-dollar bill to the other child, 

Kyle (as the City) 

You go to the Culzean Castle and we'll meet back here in five minutes. Okay, thank you, daddy. Love you. Love you too. Oh. [With a sigh of relief.]

Kyle

And as they run away, he just kinda takes a moment to breathe through himself and says, 

Kyle (as the City)

Well, I'm glad I have something to eat. 

Kyle 

And then he opens up his wallet which you can see without the five dollars he gave away. Now only has two dimes and a quarter. And he just says, 

Kyle (as the City)

What do you get for yourself now though, Darren?

Emily 

How old are these children?

Kyle 

They are kids. They are actual kids.

Emily  

It's like safe they're going up, right?

Kyle  

They are like 10-year olds, you know.

Emily

Okay.

Tom (as the Villain)  

Time for some mortal peril. Now choose Spider-Man, which child will you save? 

Emily (as the Hero)

We had an agreement. 

Tom

That means Darren must die instead. 

Emily

Oh, okay. So Adrien is going to attempt a little bit of sleight of hand.

Kyle

Okay.

Emily

He's got some cash on him. And he's gonna try to, like, hide it in his hand, and then walking up kind of next to the man he's gonna conspicuously bend over and make it look like he's picking up the money off the ground and then turn to Darren. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Hey, um, there was some money on the ground. Do you want this? I mean, I—I—I can't find anyone who seems to have dropped it.

Kyle

And Aaron's gonna look over you and go, 

Kyle (as the City)

Huh? 

Emily (as the Hero)

Yeah, I just—It was on the ground and I figured—I mean, I had already had my budget. So, you know. This was not in his budget.

[00:45:00]

Kyle 

And I'd like to cut to the Villain now, Tom if that's alright.

Tom  

Okay, yeah, yeah. 

Tom

So, at this moment, one of the kids comes running back crying,

Tom (as the Villain)

Oh, Daddy! Daddy!

Kyle (as the City)  

Oh, what's wrong sweetie?

Tom (as the Villain)

Culzean Castle, no one's letting us in. I can't get any food there. There's a mean lady. 

[Rock music starts.]

Tom

And then you hear a crunch of a footstep with far more power than its size would imply. As the witch eternal steps around, like, the food corner bend, but glowing with an aura of energy that you have not seen before. There is an unnatural light in her eyes. And with this power flowing around her she says, 

Tom (as the Villain)

There's only one thing I hate more than being called a kid. And that's being called a kid by a kid. No Culzeans today everyone. And you lucky charm, I've been looking for you. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Oh!

Tom (as the Villain)

No one lectures me in public. So I thought I'd show off what a prodigious adults I really am. 

Tom

And at that moments, she raises her hands, floats into the air a bit and dark spikes begin shooting up from the ground all around you.

[Rock music stops.]

Kyle  

Now, Emily, I want you to note you can always use a point of inspiration to add another die to the roll before Tom rolls.

Emily  

Okay, well, I'm gonna cash it in because I feel like losing someone here when there are dark spikes is a little bigger than losing someone whose food you dropped.

Kyle (as the City)  

Orphans, orphans, orphans.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I am adding my inspiration. There will be no orphans today.

Kyle  

So that's two days, Tom. 

Tom

Yeah, it's two days. 

[Dice rolls.]

Emily

Tomas?

Tom

You chose so well. One of the dice was a 1, the other, unfortunately, is a 6. Meaning you push past your limits to become greater than yourself. How do you inspire people? You recover injury and gain a point of inspiration. 

Emily

Oh! Oh! 

Tom

So yeah, describe how do you battle against the witch eternal and save everyone here in this part of the food court?

Emily  

So these are literal dark spikes surrounding me, correct?

Tom  

Yep, yep, she is like conjuring up magical spikes from the floor.

Emily 

Well, Adrien sticks his hand out from between two spikes to Darren. 

Emily (as the Hero)

Please take this money. And also, just buy a piece of pizza and fold it over. 

Emily

[Giggles.] And then he’ll turn back to the witch eternal. 

Emily (as the Hero)

It's funny you say that you've been looking for me because I have been not really actively but a little bit avoiding you. I see you've got some new powers. Um, I don't but, you know, I think I'll be fine.

Tom (as the Villain) 

Oh, gonna wipe that smirk off your face.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I'm not smirking. It was a general smile.

Tom (as the Villain) 

Don’t interrupt my monologue. 

Tom

And she comes at you again focusing these spikes upon you. How do you deal with this?

Emily

I'm going to say that they hadn't finished removing the out of order machinery yet. The paint machine that is. It was a process. There was a lot of construction going on. And this new set of spikes shakes the ground a little bit. It had already hit once and some of the machine parts had kind of started to shake a little bit, but this next hit is enough to topple the remnants of the pain machine that Adrien had broken earlier and it comes crashing down and he is able to clamber up over the machine to safety outside of the spikes and to add just a little extra insult. It's a really clumsy scramble. It's not even cool looking. But he still escaped these spikes relatively easily.

Tom (as the Villain)  

Are you kidding me? Come back and fight me. Why are you even doing this? Just hold still and die.

Emily (as the Hero)  

I don't want to hurt you. You seem like you just have a lot of feelings and I'm not really sure how to combat this physically.

Tom (as the Villain)  

I don't have any feelings.

Emily (as the Hero)   

I think maybe we could really talk this out.

Emily

As he, like, is avoiding spikes and trying to get closer.

Tom 

So you—you avoid her like stumbling and tumbling circles around her until it last she stops as [inaudible 00:49:37] spikes and she holds her hand to one eye and says, 

Tom (as the Villain) 

No, no, no, wait, I—I just need a little more time. I'm—I’m—I’m having him in. Like, it's all part of the—No, no, no, please. No, please. 

Tom

And with that, the light fades away. She slumped down powerless and defeated now.

Kyle (as the City)  

Daddy! Daddy! This is perfect. None of that pesky air is getting at my cheese. But I can still see it. So it's not sneaky anymore. 

[00:50:04]

Kyle

You see that Darren is walking with his two kids who have each taken their pizza and folded it over and he walks up and hands your money back and says, 

Kyle (as the City)

Hey, thanks for the money. I actually found a fiver over there on the ground though. So I got my own Culzean pizza, Culzetzza. We're working on the name. Anyways, thank you so much. 

Kyle

And as he walks away, he looks at where the wreckage of that machine was that Truce was working on and he remembers something for a second. And he turns around and goes, 

Kyle (as the City)

Hey, wait, are you the—

[Guitar music starts playing.]

No, no. Must have been some other guy. 

[Guitar music stops playing.]

Kyle

And I think we're actually going to end there. So that was a small, small, small sampler of Anyone can Wear the Mask. Like, I cut the deck in half for this game, and we're literally a fifth through the deck. We have one fifth of the deck left and this is a half deck.

Tom  

So many mechanics we have not gotten to explore yet.

Kyle  

So much fun stuff like the king, the king of them all who I mentioned. That actually could be depending on what we pull a character. We could learn about nana. She was a setup because there are certain ones you pull where you go to like a place you grew up or—or a nice warm place from home. There's a lot of really fun stuff in this game. And it definitely doesn't have to go as slowly as we went. You can go either very high level and, you know, really discuss just the questions. The game is great at prompting you with questions and ideas, or you can do what we do and—

Tom

Lay everything out?

Kyle

And really dig into the scenes. [Chuckles.]

Emily  

Play every single action out with painstaking slowness.

Tom  

This two to four hour game became a weekly mini campaign, I guess.

Kyle  

Yeah. So I don't know if I'm gonna keep this in or not. Because we had some discussion about— When we got to this point, I was like, all right, we're this far in the recording. I want to keep doing this justice. But also, I cannot release a six-hour long episode. [Laughter.] So we've decided that we're gonna call it now. This will be your sampler. If you were intrigued or enjoyed this, you can go to jeffstormer.itch.io/mask. Or, you know, instead of remembering all that you can click the link below to check out Anyone Can Wear the Mask. 

Tom

We've been having a blast. 

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

I love Mall town. I love Adrien. I love our children. 

Emily

I love the witch eternal. 

Kyle 

The witch eternal is great. I—I think that's the thing I really like is that you've set up like a single episode villain to preface for a bigger villain. 

Tom

Yeah, no one's even met the true villain yet. 

Kyle

Yeah, and we—But we ended on like the first episode with the defeat of the first villain. So it feels like the first episode of a series. This has been a lot of fun. I've really enjoyed this. I'm excited to play this weekly with you two. Yeah, before we sign off, any other thoughts from anybody?

Emily  

I was really nervous at first because I thought it was gonna be like—I thought it was gonna be super complicated and like I'm nervous with new systems but I ended up really having a blast and I liked how versatile it was for whatever kind of players and group you have.

Kyle  

Yeah, absolutely. I’ve really liked that balance in roles too. Like in this one, I really took on—I did take on more of a GM role but that was also because I wanted to direct it for the sake of an audience listening. Normally, it would not have one player having that much, you know, dominance over—over the play. I think it balances things out really well and balances out who needs to control what. Like I've got all the cards here so you don't have to worry about them.

Tom  

And like I roll all the dice. It's—it's a game that might seem at first glance to be very complicated and have a lot of moving parts but it is very elegant in how simple everything is in action and how it divvies all that up and splitting up the narration and who tracks what. It works really well. I really enjoyed this.

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle  

Yeah, and it's—You can play it as just a villain, as a single player, as a two player mode. I was doing that ‘cause I was checking out the rulebook which is only 13 pages. So like, a lot of this game involves rolling something going to the table of contents reading the scene, which all the rules are in a single page for that scene. And yeah, it's—it's really short, really easy to get through and read but it's got a lot of good stuff in it. 

Emily

Good job. 

All

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Good job. It gets a—It gets a star with a happy face from Emily. [Chuckles.]

Emily  

That would be great though. I would do that.

Kyle  

We—we—we rate this game one bowl of grandma's soup. Sorry, the last precious bowl of grandma’s soup out of 10. 

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle 

There we go. 

Tom

Brilliant. 

Kyle

So yeah, if you listen to Quest Friends or have just listened to this the first time to try out the show and you like what you've heard, absolutely check out the link below. Meanwhile, if you are new to Quest Friends and you liked the players playing today, you can find us and two other players every other Monday at questfriendspodcast.com or on whatever feed you're listening to right now because this is our podcast feed. 

[00:55:13]

Quest Friends is a Numenera podcast. It's a sci-fi podcast set one billion years in the future. It stars a group of characters all as silly and charming and delightful as these ones. We've got a kazoo bard android who loves hanging out with their balls of ants. We've got a good wizard boy, we've got a grandma with wolverine claws. She's like, she's gonna mess you up. But also she's got a real pure heart. She's a good lady. And then we've got a cowboy accountant who is not a cowboy and not an accountant. [Laughter.] But he's a good lad. And of course, we've got all sorts of fun world building. We've got Disneyland Las Vegas, we've got the Airship Titanic, but it's also prom, but it's also a dating sim. And we also have Culzeans, which I've renamed to Calzeans using the brilliant method of taking one vowel and replacing it with another and I'm putting that here to explain why I use the word Calzeans because we've used it so much. I genuinely thought that was the word for Calzone.

Tom  

See, if you enjoyed the world building of Mall town, that is a very good microcosm of what you will see in mainline Quest Friends.

Kyle  

I loved Mall town. I love Mall town. 

Tom

Mall town is so good.

Emily 

Stop trying to destroy it then.

 Tom

Oh, not destroy. Never destroy. 

Kyle

[Laughter.] 

Tom

Improve. Rebuild. 

Kyle

All right, we're nearing the end of our series. So there's nothing to wait on. You can get caught up the whole way right now. And you can find recommended first episodes at questriendspodcast.com/about. But I can't not end on a cliffhanger. 

[Piano music starts.]

So we look back at Mall town. We watch as Darren and his kids go and sit next to the still cluttered uncleaned ruins of that one robots paying machine thing happily just eating their little pizza Calzones, their pizza zunes, their cow—It's a—As I said, they're still working on a name. One of the kids is actually sitting there. He is pointing around some broccoli that he has, and he's making a little drawing and Darren's like, 

Kyle (as the City)

Come on. Don't don't play with your food. And he's like, I'm not playing with my food. I'm making art. 

Kyle

And we look at that little broccoli drawing and we see it turned into witches of a pig. And we see a similar but much more ornate pig drawing being made by Ignatz. And they're just happily making this little life art drawing, but the door knocks and they turn and gasp in excitement and we just see held in his hands and with a little bit of blue hair, paying down this little wooden figurine with a bow on it. And as Ignatz gets up to hug Hilda, we move to a different hug. This one of a con man and his father just tearing up, like patting each other on the back. Finally having talked to each other in years with Hank, finally, being willing to go home to Lotze and see his father again. And as the two go to sit down, the camera shifts one last time to, not two men sitting, but one as Adrien sits down and picks up his last bowl of grandma's soup.

Emily 

I feel like I should feel worse about breaking that thing again. ‘Cause like I'm a hero, right? I'm a hero now. But it—it breaks people's kneecaps. So I should not like it ‘cause I'm a hero, all right?

Emily (as the Hero)

Lucky Charm. I'm Lucky Charm. Welcome to my Mall town. I am your hero, Lucky Charm. 

Emily

He's practicing.

Tom

[Halloween piano music begins.]

And then things shift again one last time. We're in a dark room lit only by a single skylight in a ceiling far, far above. Shadows lurk everywhere, but in the gloom, we can see a handful of cages filled with birds. An aviary of sorts, all kinds. Crows, ravens, magpies, little robins, uh, red wing blackbirds all chirping around and then we focus in on this one parrot. 

Tom (as the Villain)

Look. Greetings. I am the raptor. Squawk. I can give you what you desire if only you would squawk and then the cage opens and a shadowy hand reaches for the parrots.

[01:00:00]

[Halloween piano music stops.]

Tom  

I need you to put like the Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man theme—

Kyle 

That’s the plan is to do like the digi digi digi. [Imitating Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man theme beats.]

Tom

Da. Da. Da. Da. Da. [Imitating Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man theme beats.]

Kyle

I feel lucky and sometimes I really am.

Tom  

I can't wait for all the comments on this episode. Emily, if someone is holding a gun to your head, blink twice.

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Tom

I guess I'm breaking the children in mortal peril but I don't feel like mortal peril is going to befall the witch eternal.

Kyle

Unless Emily gets very violent in the upcoming moments.

Emily  

Ideally, no.

Kyle 

I pull out my Glock, my lucky Glock.

Emily

[Laughter.]  

Tom

Pull out the revolver. Do you feel lucky, punk? My superpower is Russian Roulette on you.

Kyle  

Five of the six barrels are loaded.

Emily 

[Laughter.] No, no. Oh, no. No, there are no guns.

Kyle 

Anyways, [inaudible 01:01:31]. What are you gonna tell them? 

Emily

No guns in the mall. This is a gun free zone.

Tom  

For now.

Emily  

No, for always.

Kyle  

We're gonna ruin this game. This game—This is—Either Jeff is gonna turn around and be like I love this. This is perfect or he'll be like what the hell did you do to my beautiful game? 

Tom 

Jeff's like, I've wanted to really make this incredible game about the serious emotions and like the journey of a hero. Like, all of the interactions they had, the people they lost and made connections with and we're over here referencing Sonic the Hedgehog in Mall town, referencing Fire Emblem three houses in Phoenix, right?

All 

Hilda! Hilda! Hilda! Hilda! Hilda! 

Kyle

She may or may not do the carvings with a giant—

Tom 

An ax?

Kyle

A giant ax. 

Tom

Like ice sculptures with a chainsaw?

Emily

It's a gun-free zone not an ax-free zone. 

Tom

For now.