Catching Up David: The ScubaCorp Arc

Transcript by Kyle Decker

[“Catching Up David” theme plays.]

David

Hello and welcome back to Catching Up David. Tonight is episode sixteen-hundred twenty: Holy Motors IV! Hello Kristen.

Kristen

Hey hey.

David

- and Hallie.

Hallie

…why does Kristen get to go first?

David

Excuse me?

Hallie

Why do you list Kristen's name first? Like, what's up with that? Like, why is it always her first?

Kristen

David clearly understands that I’m the most important co-host.

David

I mean, I just chose at random.

Hallie

You can't like, you have to have a system, like alphabetical order or favorite person. Why is it Kristen? 

Kristen

So he should’ve chosen a system that coincidentally placed you first alphabetically.

Hallie

Well, he should have chosen a system that deliberately placed me first. For any reason. At all.

Kristen

[Disbelieving sound]

David

Anyway, we've spent the past few episodes catching me up on the goings on of the world. 

Hallie

Because David literally died living under a rock.

Kristen

No, he just died under the rock. He didn’t live under there.

Hallie

I know Kristen, but the joke doesn’t make sense if I don’t include the phrase “living under a rock,” for God’s sake.

Kristen

Maybe you should come up with better jokes then.

Kristen

Okay, come up with better jokes.

Hallie

Nope. That was a fine, maybe you should-

Kristen

David!

Hallie

It’s humor - GOD!

David

That’s right, for the new fans out there, I’m a ghost who died many years ago in the middle of my graduate program, so I didn’t really know what was going on in the world at the time. And since I had unfinished business, I came back as a ghost.

Kristen

Okay but, what will happen when you finish your unfinished business, do you think?

Hallie

What do you mean?

Kristen

What do you think will happen to David when he gets fully caught up? This is Catching Up David, he will get caught up theoretically.

Hallie

I don’t know, actually.

David

My guess is that I’ll move on to the Afterworlds.

Kristen

The after-what?

Hallie

Oh my god, Kristen. So the world is split up into the realm of the Living, which is the Here, and the realm of the Dead, which is the Hereafter, right?

Kristen

Uh-huh.

Hallie

So what do you think happens when a dead person dies for a second time?

Kristen

It’s like Coco.

Hallie

…David.

David

I remember this one from one of our previous episodes! It’s like a parfait. Every time you die, you go one layer further down the parfait. The top layer is Here, the second layer is the Hereafter, and every layer afterwards is part of the Afterworlds.

Kristen

Why haven’t I ever heard of the Afterworld parfait things?

Hallie

I’ve got no idea why you haven’t heard of the Afterworlds. But you haven’t been there because BITE doesn’t let anyone in. It’s too dangerous or weird or whatever.

Kristen

What’s at the bottom, though?  Like, is it a fruit on the bottom parfait? 

Hallie

What, like, is there fruit at the bottom of the Afterworlds?

Kristen

Yeah. 

Hallie

Honestly, there could be, I don't know.

Kristen

…K.

David

Anyways, today’s episode is actually a podcast! Quest Friends! Hereafter covers the events leading up to a big trial that happened earlier this year. Are we ready to get into it?

Kirsten

Sure thing!

Hallie

I’m so ready.

David

Alright, then. Quest Friends! Hereafter is a podcast released this year that covers the events of the four major players in the trial of Irene Hawthorne. These players are Irene herself, her defense attorney Sparky Malarkey, and her defense counsel Aurelio Enrique Hueso Canaca, or Quique for short, and Hilda Miszkiewicz. Sorry if I pronounced your name wrong, Hilda. 

Kristen

Sparky reminded me of Hallie.

Hallie

Is it because she’s so good at solving mysteries?

Kristen

No, it’s because she refuses to be emotionally vulnerable.

Hallie

What the fuck does that mean? I’m so fucking emotionally vulnerable! I like Sparky and she reminds me of me because she’s cool and good at solving mysteries and also has a rad van, which I don’t have, but will any day now.

Kirsten

You are none of those. None of them.

Hallie

I am all of those, including has a rad van. If you were going to describe me, you'd say “has a rad van.”

Kristen

That’s way down on the list of descriptions.  , 

[Laughter]

Hallie

It's still important.  

David

Anyways, early episodes of the podcast follow these four as they go through a series of misadventures and struggle to get along. Any favorites from this part of the show?

Kristen

My favorite was probably the episode with the cave and the little creatures and the grungy skeleton guy.

Hallie

You mean the first episode?

Kristen

Yeah.

[Beat]

Kristen

Don’t look at me like that.

Hallie

No, I'm not looking. It's just like, it’s the first one.

Kristen

And it was good!

Hallie

Good cause it was the best episode you listened to, or good as in the only episode you listened to?

Kristen

Sometimes a Venn diagram is a circle, and it’s both.

Hallie

So this time, the Venn diagram is a circle?

Kristen

Anyway, I did actually like this episode! I liked the little magical critters -

David

The Necromon.

Hallie

They come from the Afterworlds!

Kristen

The after-what?

Hallie

Have you already forgotten?

Kristen

Yeah.

Hallie

The After-

Kristen

The parfait!

Hallie

The parfait. Yeah, they’re the fruit.

Kristen

Wait wait, the Afterworlds - they’re the fruit?

[5:00]

Hallie

Maybe?

Kristen

They are not the whole parfait.

Hallie

I guess they’re not the fruit, because the fruit’s at the bottom of the parfait.

[Crosstalk]

Kristen

They’re just part of the parfait.

Hallie

They’re part of the parfait.

David

They’re the sliced almonds on top of the parfait.

Hallie

They’re the sliced almonds on top of the parfait.

Kristen

It’s the part-fait. Because it’s part of the parfait.

Hallie

It’s the part…fait.

David

…really, though.

[Laughter]

David

The Necromon are born in the Afterworlds, but they can enter the Here and the Hereafter through Necromon Oases, such as the big pool of water in the first episode’s cave.

Kristen

Okay, so I liked the Necromon, and I liked the Rasputin guy, and yeah, I think that’s it.

David

What about the book?

Kristen

Oh… oh yeah the book crab!

Hallie

Booker!

Kristen

He’s mean but also he’s sad cause he’s got the torn out pages, so of course I love him.

David

What about you, Hallie? What was your favorite episode?

Kristen

It was the one with the love story, wasn’t it?

Hallie

Mmmmmmaybe. I mean, the answer isn’t no.

David

So the love story episode starts with Sparky hanging out in her trailer.

Hallie

Not the van, because they’re different things. A lot of people confuse the van and the trailer, but they are in fact distinct, separate things that she has.

Kristen

But they are both parked in the town’s junkyard/graveyard, are they not?

Hallie

Okay so yes, they are in the junkyard/graveyard area, but that can hold more than one thing, and it holds two: the van on the trailer. 

David

So she's hanging out in the trailer.

Hallie

Yeah. 

David

In the junkyard/graveyard. 

Hallie

Yeah! 

David

When she's visited by her high school friend, Elliot.

Hallie

Yeah, who’s the fucking worst.

Kristen

I thought you said I was the worst.

Hallie

There can be two, and you’re tied.

Kristen

Oh, okay.

David

Elliot is a prosecutor for the Bureau of Intermortal Enforcement, or BITE. They’re an organization that handles matters that affect the different layers of existence.

Kristen

Okay, so everything. They handle everything.

Hallie

Yeah, essentially.

David

Back in high school, Elliot and Sparky were part of a mystery-solving team called PICLE. Do either of you remember what PICLE stands for?

Kristen

Um, I don't know. Hallie is this episode's expert. She knows what's going on. 

Hallie

Okay, so PICLE is the, um… it's the Persons for Investigating Crime. Lemons.

Kristen

Okay, so not the expert then.

Hallie

No, no, I know what PICLE means. I just don't know it at this second. The, the, the… something Incorporated.

Kristen

Fake fan.

Hallie

The something Incorporated Company. The PICLE, it’s the PICLE, it’s the… the Pack of Investigator Compatriots. Loser Elliot.  

[Laughter]

Hallie

It's such a good name! It's such a good name and I can never remember what it is.

Kristen

If it was such a good name, wouldn’t you remember it?

Hallie

It's such a good name!  Um, Private Eyes? 

Kristen

Eyes with an I.

Paranormal, the, the… hang on. Oh, I can’t search on here, I have to do it on my phone. Okay, I did a typo and I searched for PIC, but what I want is PICLE.

Kristen

This is really embarrassing for you. Across the board.

[Phone ringing SFX]

Hallie

PICLE. PICLE Pals… Private Investigators Corporation Limited Enterprises! I did it! It's the Private Investigators Corporation Limited Enterprises. That's what it is. It's a really good name.

Kristen

It only took you 15 tries in as many minutes. 

Hallie

It’s a really good name! Private Investigators Corporation Limited Enterprises.

David

That's right!

[Laughter]

Kristen

Elliot’s not the love interest though, right?

Hallie

Oh, absolutely not. No, that’s not Elliot. No no no.

David

That would be Lucas Bang, Sparky’s ex-boyfriend from high school. He’ll come up later.

Hallie

He sure will.

Kristen

One: what a name, Lucas Bang. Two: what about you, David? Which episode is your favorite?

David

It’s tough. I really like the noir one -

Hallie

Yeah, cause it’s great.

David

But I think my actual favorite is the one where Irene is introduced!

Hallie

[Surprised, but impressed] Oh, really?

Kristen

Look at David branching out!

Hallie

I know! That was unexpected.

David

I just really like Hilda and Irene’s friendship/rivalry thing that they have going on. They actually remind me a lot of you two.

Hallie

Oh, that’s gross. No.

Kristen

[Disgusted sounds] You took a good thing and you made it bad. 

Hallie

Yeah, take it back. Stop. You ruin everything good you do, David.

Kristen

Nothing gold can stand when it is in your hands.

David

Oh, that's what I'm here for.

Hallie

We can't have nice things.  

David

Anyway, my favorite part is actually the B plot, where Sparky deals with a humane mousetrap that’s actually duplicating the Necromice that she catches.

Kristen

Didn’t that happen to you, David?

David

I don’t want to talk about it.

Hallie

Okay, but are there any David clones?

David

No. Unlike Quique, I did not accidentally use a mousetrap to make a bunch of clones of myself.

[10:00]

Kristen

How did… Quique made clones?

Hallie

You should’ve listened to more than the first episode.

Kristen

The first episode was good. I did not know there would be clones.

Hallie

Admittedly, the first episode doesn't foreshadow that there will be clones.

David

The clones did go away at the end of the episode.

Hallie

Mmmmmmm kinda.

Kristen

Stop.  You guys aren't making any sense. Are the clones there or are the clones not there? 

Hallie

Um, yes.  

Kristen

Okay. Not an answer, but okay. 

Hallie

Yeah.

David

Well, as the episodes go on, more and more overarching plot threads start showing up. The main one is the Intermortal Necromon Championship, where Necromon Trainers like Irene and Hilda duel to see who is the best trainer across worlds. This tournament is hosted by ScubaCorp, a megacorporation that creates the Necrocards that hold Necromon.

Kristen

[Upset]

You trap the little ghost guys in cards?

Hallie

I mean, not really.

Kristen

Like Pokemon balls, but cards?

Hallie

Or like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Kristen

As if I know Yu-Gi-Oh.

Hallie

Okay, that's… David, explain it.

David

Well, because Necromon come from the Afterworlds, in order to stay in the realm of the living - the Here - they need to bond with people’s souls. Now some people - like Irene - can make that connection themselves. Everyone else uses Necrocards to simulate a soul bond.

Kristen

What happens if I use a card on a Necromon that’s already soul bonded to someone else? Is that doable?

Hallie

[Uncertain sounds]

David

The best case scenario: The mon just chooses one of you, but that can be pretty finicky.

Kristen

And what’s the worst case scenario?

David

Boom.

[Laughter]

Hallie

That’s it.

Kristen

Okay. Got it.

David

A lot of key players come from ScubaCorp. The big ones are Oset Scuba, the teenage CEO, Maybelline, his second-in-command, and Lucas Bang, a previous winner of the tournament. Lucas comes from the Valley, which is a desert town in the Here and the setting of most of this arc.

Kristen

Ah, so Lukie got famous and ditched Sparky?

Hallie

The combination Junkyard Graveyard is good enough for many people and should have been good enough for him, but also never call him Lukie again.Nobody does that.

Kristen

Lukie-Poo!

Hallie

Nobody does that!

David

It’s never really made clear why Sparky and Lucas broke up, but now that they’ve reunited, they start flirting with each other again.

Kristen

Okay, well that's really cute!  

Hallie

EhhhHHHhhhhhh

Kristen

[Sigh] Every time I say anything, you just go ehhHHHHhhHHHhh

Hallie

Yeah, because I have the benefit of having a complete story because I listened to more than the first episode.

Kristen

So it's not cute. 

Hallie

[Uncertain sounds]

Kristen

We don't ship it, we ship it. We don't ship.

Hallie

Um, you'll see. You’ll see. 

David

Irene and Hilda progress through the tournament, eventually making it to finals. At this point, they’re invited to a party at the ScubaCorp Spacescraper, where Oset reveals that he’s been scheming all along to steal Booker from Hilda.

Kristen

His big plan is to steal a book?

David

A rare book.

Kristen

Okay. I feel like… okay, sure.

David

Before Oset can steal Booker, the partygoers are attacked and held hostage by Quique’s clones.

Hallie

The Quiclones! See, they do come back. Here they are. This is an episode where they're here.

David

Here they are.

Kristen 

How many episodes have passed?  

[Beat]

[Laughter]

Hallie

Like… seven-ish?

Kristen

ish.

David

Their plan is to break in, steal the rare Necromon in Oset’s collection, and steal one of the pages that was ripped out of Booker, which Oset has-

Hallie

For some reason.

David

I mean, Oset is a collector. He dyed his hair green because of his obsession with Legendary Necromon, which have a green aura.

Kristen

I thought Necromon had a blue aura.

Hallie

Basic Necromon and Ultra Necromon have a blue aura, but Legendary Necromon have the green aura. Get it together.

Kristen

Okay, well that sounds classist, first of all. And then also, has anyone seen a Legendary Necromon to know the aura color?

Hallie

Um… no.

Kristen

Hm, putting on my skepticals.

David

Working together for the first time as a group, Hilda, Irene, Quique, and Sparky thwart the Quiclones and recover the missing page, which when returned to Booker, plays a recording from Quique’s old friend Mateo, a Vampire who feeds on intrigue and is currently exploring the Afterworlds.

Kristen

Okay, but I thought no one could enter the Afterworlds. Unless they die twice.

Hallie

Well, you can. You can go there. It’s just that it’s illegal. And kind of hard, if illegal doesn’t stop you.

David

After viewing this recording, the group is accosted by Overseer Indrid Cold. Essentially, BITE has low-level grunts called Undertakers and high-level officers called Overseers. Indrid Cold is one of those high-level officers, and he asks to speak with Irene. Everyone else steps in, however, and stops him.

Kristen

So Irene doesn’t end up going to jail?

Hallie

Oh no, she does. Just later.

Kristen

How much later? Like, seven episodes later?

Hallie

Like a day. How many episodes is that? That's gotta be like one or two, right? Because each episode is a new day. So it's like a day episode. A day's episode later. 

[15:00]

David

One day later - next episode, I guess - everyone is called into BITE’s headquarters, where they find that Irene has been arrested for the murder of Sammy Ester, a Dead doll man who was a close confidant of Oset’s.

Hallie

Rutabaga boy!

Kristen

Why is the dead doll man called Rutabaga Boy?

Hallie

Because he was Oset’s rutabaga boy!

Kristen

That doesn’t make any sense

Hallie

He was Oset’s rutabaga boy and they loved each other, and now they can’t… it’s really sad. He’s the rutabaga boy…

Kristen

Okay… but lil Lukie and Sparky are doing well though, right?

Hallie

No. [Agonized sounds]

Kristen

They're all I care about. Tell me good things!

Hallie

I can't, this show is bad. I can't tell you good things. Nothing good happens in it.

David

So what happens is Elliot calls for Sparky, asking her to serve as Irene’s defense attorney. This is because, despite being her older brother, Elliot will be prosecuting Irene.

Kristen

That’s the worst!

Hallie

I know, right? That’s what I’m saying.

Kristen

Her older brother?

Hallie

Like, you thought he was a love interest to Sparky? No, absolutely not.

Kristen

He could just be morally gray.

Hallie

Let me see… no.

Kristen

Anyway, I thought there was a tournament thing going on. Is prosecution and tournament simultaneously… eh?

David

Yes, there is! Irene asks Hilda to finish the tournament for her, but Hilda chooses to help investigate instead.

Kristen

And the tournament arc is just done?

David

Well, kind of.

Kristen

Boo!

David

Hilda doesn’t finish the tournament, but Irene and Hilda’s friend Walnut are both still pretty mad about it by the end of this first arc.

Hallie

Walnut's big mad.

Kristen

Walnut can be big mad with such a cute little name.

Hallie

Walnut!

David

Walnut! 

Kristen

Walnut!

David

The arc as a whole ends with the reveal that Sammy isn’t actually one of the Dead, but is instead a clump of eels covered in a doll outfit. In an attempt to leave ScubaCorp, Lucas Bang trapped Sammy in a Necrocard and framed Maybelline for his “murder.”

[Beat]

Kristen

I'm just amused by the group of eels. How does one pass as a human(?) that's not a group of eels?  

Hallie

He’s just four eels.

David

I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson.

Hallie

[Sobbing] I am four eels.

Kristen

…what?

Hallie

We'll show you later.

Kristen

Okay.

Hallie

Never meant to make your daughter cry. He made me cry.  

Kristen

Okay, but, if he's a bunch of creepy eely necromon, wouldn't Sammy need something to connect him to the Here? Did he not already have a card?

Hallie

They loved each other!  The rutabaga boy and Oset, they loved each other, but the rutabaga boy was also a Necromon boy. And they, and they...  It's really sad. They loved each other. It's, 

Kristen

So they're just star crossed lovers then.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kristen

They were soul bonded.

Hallie

Yeah!

Kristen

But now they're not. 

Hallie

But, well, I…

Kristen

But I thought it was bad when a Necromon was bonded to more than one person or card thing. I thought David made a boom noise.

Hallie

Yeah, he did.

David

I did.

Kristen

You did.

Hallie

He did.

David

It is bad. Which is why the ending of the trial is bittersweet. Even though Sammy isn’t dead, he can’t be released from the Necrocard without risking his safety, and Sparky has to make the difficult choice of giving up her happily ever after with Lucas Bang in order to reveal that he’s an attempted murderer.

Hallie

It really sucks because they could have been… well, okay, they weren't that compatible, but like, it's sad because… [pained noises]  It's sad. 

[Beat]

David

And that brings us to the end of the first arc of Quest Friends! Hereafter!

[Laughter]

Kristen

Okay, but didn't you mention that there were clones that attacked a party? Like, why did they show up? Why were they there?

Hallie

Oh, they were being secretly led by Rasputin, who was a shapeshifter in disguise.

Kristen

So the little skeleton guy was a fake!? But I liked him! Okay. No, that's kind of fun. Good for him. I like him more. I take it back. He's good. He’s cool.

David

Well, he wasn’t a shapeshifter in the episode you listened to. At the end of the episode, he’s taken in by the Undertakers, and every time he appears after that he’s the shapeshifter. I think.

Hallie

Yeah that sounds about right. I think that’s what’s going.

Kristen

So the one I fell in love with isn’t the one that’s there?

Hallie

No.

Kristen

Nothing gold can stay!

Hallie

Nothing gold can stay!

David

So what did you two think of this first arc of Quest Firends! Hereafter?

Hallie

I liked it! A solid 8/10. Except for the stuff with Sparky. That’s a 10/10 every time. She’s my favorite.

Kristen

I confess that because my Venn diagram is a circle, and I only listened to the first episode, I am not entirely sure of what happened, but it sounds like I would give it also an 8/10.

Hallie

Hm, are you saying that because I gave it an 8/10?

Kristen

No, I hate you. David, what do you think?

[20:00]

David

I don’t know, I liked it! It’s probably a 7?

Kristen

A 7?

Hallie

Are you fucking kidding me, David?

David

You both gave it a 8!

Hallie

Well yeah, but we didn’t give Titenic a 6!

David

I’m never going to live that down, am I?

Hallie

No!

Kristen

No!

Hallie

Because you gave it a fucking… let’s just get to the quiz.

David

So for each episode, we find a personality quiz based on the topic we’re discussing. For this one, we decided to go with Quest Friends’ “Which Kind of Dead Are You?”” quiz, since who you become when you die is based on who you were when you’re alive. I got phantom.

Kristen

Phantom?  

Hallie

Phantom? That's nice.

Kristen

Phantom of the Megapolice. 

Hallie

Going...  Because he's Danny Phantom. Yeah. 

[Laughter]

Kristen

David…

Hallie

Did you take a picture of your read-y thing? You don't have it?

Kristen

He didn't take a picture of his reedy thing.

David

I have a  flip phone.

Hallie

God.

Kristen

You have a pen and paper, do you not?

Hallie

Yeah, you could have just written it down.

David

I could have.

Kristen

God!

David

I'm sorry. I got a phantom. 

Hallie

Now people have to take the quiz to find out what a phantom is.

David

Yeah, they gotta take the quiz and get phantom.

Hallie

And just answer as if you’re David.

David

Just answer exactly the way I did, and you too can be a phantom. Who did you get, Hallie?  

Hallie

Me? I'm a grim. You are death. Whereas most people learn about the afterlife when they die, the rivers of existence are all that you've ever known. You are an avatar of death, a being comfortable enough with the finite nature of existence that you spend your days shepherding souls from one world to the next. At least, that's what you used to do. Ever since the Bureau of Intermortal Enforcement took over all the shepherding souls stuff, you've been in desperate need of a new hobby. Maybe you'll see if the local community center needs any help... I like that because the Boatman is a grim and the Boatman is very cool.

David

There you go.

Hallie

Ergo, I am very cool. He's got a boat. 

Kristen

He's got a boat!

Hallie

He's got a boat!

David

Yeah.

Kristen

So, transitive property…

Hallie

I also have a boat in addition to a van.

David

And a trailer.

Hallie

And a trailer! And an RV. I am just flush with vehicles.

Kristen

Vehicles.

Hallie

Vehicles. 

Kristen

Could open a store.

Hallie

It's just these four vehicles-

Kristen

We sell vehicles!

David

Four!

Hallie

-that I already own and aren't for sale. We sell vehicles four.

David

Who did you get Kristen?  

Kristen

…I got a Grimm!

Hallie

No! No! God dammit!

Kristen

Whereas most people learn about the afterlife when they die-

Hallie

[Anguished noises]

Kristen

-the rivers of existence are all that you've ever known. You are an avatar of death, a being comfortable enough with the finite nature of existence that you spend your days-

Hallie

You don’t have to, because I read it out loud.

Kristen

I’m reading it. -shepherding souls from one world to the next. At least, that's what you used to do. Ever since the Bureau of Inter- oh God. Ever since the Bureau of the bleh! Ever since the Bureau of Intermortal Enforcement took over all the shepherding souls stuff, you've been in desperate need of a new hobby. Maybe you'll see if the local community center needs any help... I like it because the Boatman is also a grim and he's cool. So therefore I'm cool.

Hallie

But not very cool. Like I am.

Kristen

Supremely.

Hallie

No.

Kristen

I dropped the supremely because I don't want to be a narcissist, unlike some people here.

Hallie

That’s incorrect. You've never shied away from being a narcissist, but I bet your boat isn't as good as my boat. 

Kristen

My boat has things you've never seen.  

[Laughter]

Hallie

Not just on a boat, just period. Just full stop.

Kristen

Full stop. My boat is worth at least five vehicles. I could open a vehicle store and put five vehicles, but it’s one.

David

Like Voltron. 

Hallie

I guess Voltron is five vehicles. 

David

In one!

Hallie

Five lion vehicles. That's the lion one, right? Voltron? Voltron is lions?

David

Or is it Power Rangers? They're both very similar. 

Kristen

Don’t Power Rangers also have cars that turn into a big thing?

David

They do. They’re Power Rangers.

Kristen

I don’t get it though, because they’re people. They’re not transformers.

David

Anyway, if you’d like to try the quiz at home, you can find it linked in the description. Down there you’ll also find a link to the other episodes of Catching Up David, where we cover everything I haven’t been caught up on.

Kristen

Mostly movies.

Hallie

Sometimes TV shows. But always one of those two things

David

You can also find a link to the Quest Friends! which is starting a brand new arc in a week.

Kristen

And what is going to happen in that new arc, David?

David

So, for next time: It's more eels!

Kristen & Hallie

Eels!

David

That's right, something fishy is going on in the Hereafter, and all your favorite characters have a secret: they've been sea creatures all along! But! Due to the laws of the Hereafter specifically banning eels from everyday careers like Necromon trainers and defense attorneys, they've had to keep their existence a secret from one another. What could possibly lead to their discovery of each other's anguilliform truth? Could it be.... true love?

Kristen

Lukie…

David

Tune in to the next episode of Quest Friends! to find out!

Hallie

[Quiet] He’s gone. He’s gone.

Kristen

Lukie’s gone!?

Hallie

Yeah. 

Kristen

He died!?

Hallie

No, he's just not there anymore. I mean, he could be.

Kristen

Is he on a soul quest to find himself?

Hallie

You know what? Maybe he is. I hope that for him.

Kristen

Maybe he’s trying to gather his eels. 

[25:00]

Hallie

[Laughing] Maybe he’s just trying to gather his eels. 

Kristen

Who among us hasn’t lost an eel from time to time?

Hallie

Who among us doesn't need an eel prey love trip once in a while?

[Beat]

Kristen

Are you proud of that one?

Hallie

Yeah, I really am. I'm really proud of that one.

Kristen

I hate it. Cause it-

Hallie

Eel pray love. Cause it works.

Kristen

Anyway, that's what Lukie’s up to. Catch it in the next episode!

Hallie

Eeling.

David

Great.

Kristen

Maybe I will too.

[Music plays, ‘Quest Friends! Hereafter Theme’ by Miles Morkri.]

David

All right. Until next time. So long.

Kristen

Arrivederci.

Hallie

Bye.

[Music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Kyle

Okay, that was beautiful. I have nothing I want to change. Do any of you have anything you want to retake? 

Kristen

Um, no.

Hallie

No, I was perfect the whole way through.

Kristen

I was phenomenal and flawless the whole way through.

David

…I did okay.

[Laughter]

Hallie

Yeah, we did great. We did a really good job. How was my scrolling? Was it great? Was it flawless?

Kristen

No!

Hallie

Okay.

Kristen

You often let it get to the very end and it stressed me out.

Hallie

I thought that was what was preferred. 

Kyle

I'm also very glad that you both got the same thing, which I don't know any of you read it, but you get the same one in the script version I wrot,e too.

Kristen

Life imitates art sometimes.

[Laughter]

Kyle

That one you both get fury, because I thought that would be a funny one for you to get. 

Kristen

I remember reading it, but I don't remember what the fury is. Enlighten me.

Kyle

 A fury is someone who dies by betrayal.

Kristen

By betrayal?

Kyle

By betrayal. So you basically suggest, well, maybe that means we'll kill each other, Hallie. To which David says, it's tragically romantic, if you think about it.

Kristen

[Vomiting sounds]

Hallie

Yeah, he wanted to make a shipping joke.

Kristen

Nope. Nope. Nope. Reject.

Hallie

But then we had the same thing anyway! Bollocks.

Kyle

And then Hallie pointed out that you can't be the one to kill her. Because you can't be betrayed by someone you don't trust.

Kristen

It's funny though, because years ago, didn't we say that we were basically Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr? So unfortunately, life imitates life.  

[Laughter]

Kristen

Art imitates life. Art of your script. No romance!

Hallie

No romance!

Kristen

No ship! 

***

David

All right, so it's miscuit, miscuvits. 

Hallie

Miskeevich.

Kristen

Miskeevich. 

[Everyone butchering the name “Miszkiewicz”]

David

I'll just apologize to Hilda.

Hallie

You do that regularly with actors’ names. When you can't say them. Which is often.

David

Yeah, and their names are usually much easier to pronounce than Miszkiewicz.  

Kristen

Like Johnson.

David

Yeah. 

***

Kristen

Sometimes, a Venn diagram is a circle. And it's both.

Hallie

So this time, the Venn diagram is a circle.

Kristen

I listened to the other ones!

Hallie

Okay, what were they about?  

Kristen

Chamomile and… chameleons. Cham and Cham for short. 

Hallie

Okay. 

David

Wouldn't that be Cam and Cam? 

Kristen

Okay, you'd think so, but no.

***

David

The tournament is hosted by ScubaCorp, which might be ScubaCore.

Hallie

Either one. I don't actually remember how they refer to it in the show.

Kyle

It's ScubaCore. [It’s spelled ScubaCorp, though]

Hallie

Core? 

Kyle

Yeah, ScubaCore. I like how he says it as if he had read it, and not heard it on a podcast where it would have been pronounced, and he would have known definitively. 

Hallie

Maybe he's reading the transcript.

Kristen

I have the advantage of being the person who's not supposed to listen to anything. I can mess up as much as I want.

David

Yeah.

Hallie

That's true.

Kristen

And I do.  

***

Kyle

Was there anything that you, after reading it, were like, “I have no idea what the fuck that meant?”

Kristen

A lot of it.

[Laughter]

Kristen

It's more like if I had had any context, such as listening to anything, I probably would be like, “oh, I know what's going on,” but I didn't. So when they were like, “where did those clone guys come from?” I was like, “yeah, where did they come from?”