Ep. 11: The Clockwork City, Part 7

 Previously, on Quest Friends...

[Opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

What kind of gifts does.. does one normally give to the queen here?

Kyle (as Barry)

Well she likes any sort of oddity and excitement, so I’ve been working really hard on this for her.

Tom (as Xoc)

Ah! I have a thing!

Kyle (as Mauve)

Jesse told me you gave her all your gear… without a fight.

Ari (as Misha)

Without a fight is not exactly…

Hallie (as Hopper)

I wouldn’t say without a fight…

Kyle

And she pulls out that like, diagram of the sewage, you know, that said take the best burn the rest…

Kyle (as Mauve)

It sounds like the garbage they’re taking out...are all the fancy gifts people come here to give the queen.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh no.

Kyle (as Mauve)

Now, you all met Everett. He’s abrasive, but very talented.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Whispering.] Are you going to help us?

 Kyle (as Everett)

[Scoffs.] Can I get one of the hats?

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whispering.] This is the worst thing that has happened to us since we’ve come to this city

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Whispering.] Agreed

[Opening theme intensifies.]

Kyle

Alright, so you have just mopped the floor with one Gendarme soldier who has now flown to the heavens above, one soldier has gotten away, and Fancy Tom is lying down in the water while Everett is just kind of planted on the deck.

Tom

I pulled Fancy Tom out of the water.

Kyle

Okay.

Tom 

I’m gonna make sure Fancy Tom isn’t drowning at least.

Kyle

So you pull Fancy Tom out of the water.  Does everyone else get out of the water?

Hallie

As Hop pulls Everett out he is going to put him up on like, dry solid ground. And then he is going to ask,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Are you okay?

Kyle (as Everett)

My mortal flesh still resides, but my soul has left this plane for my --

Hallie

Hop will say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Okay, good.

Hallie

And then push him back a little bit like,  

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Exasperated.] What are you doing man? Why did you yell that? We were doing it!

Kyle (as Everett)

It was a love I saw for so short--

Hallie (as Hopper)

… What?

Kyle (as Everett)

But now it is gone forever--

Hallie (as Hopper)

What?!

Kyle (as Everett)

Crashed into the deep water.

Hallie (as Hopper)

The hats?!

Ari

Misha is going to interject and say,

Ari (as Misha)

Should we be concerned of looking the soul of this Everett person? Is it still in the water? I did not know human souls could escape.

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, no he’s, he’s just being dramatic.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I wasn’t sure if there was some human defense mechanism that I wasn’t aware of.

Kyle (as Everett)

Alas, all is lost. All is lost…

Emily (as Elee)

Kid, you saw how I threw--threw the soldier over the--

Tom (as Xoc)

Misha Jarvis,

Ari (as Misha)

Yes?

Tom (as Xoc)

Could you scan this string please?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh? Oh! All right. 

Ari

I--I do that.

Tom

I’m assuming it’s Numenera, because he did things with it.

Ari

I scan the string… but I rolled a two. So I don’t know how, um…

Kyle

Uh, you can tell…

Ari

It’s a string

Kyle 

Nothing. [Laughter.] Someone else might want to investigate it.

Tom (as Xoc)

I’ll investigate it after we are safely in the sewers. But thank you Misha, all the same.

 Kyle

Alright. Everett is just sitting there, catatonic, staring into the watery abyss below.

Emily (as Elee)

… Can we leave him?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Don’t w--no. 

Tom (as Xoc)

We can’t leave him because he will lead others to us as well, and Mauve would likely be angry if we let him come to serious harm.

Ari (as Misha)

And I am still not quite sure that this man is entirely unharmed.

Kyle (as Everett)

[Sobbing in the background.]

Ari (as Misha)

He seems…

Hallie and Ari

[Laughter.]

Tom (as Xoc)

We should enter the sewers quickly, before more other forces arrive

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, let’s go.

Hallie

Hopper is gonna drag Everett to his feet, somewhat gently. In the middle. He is not happy with him, but he’s not gonna rough him up any more.

Kyle

He is gonna reach into the abyss below and say,

Kyle (as Everett)

My love… I am sorry but… my heart must go on.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Exasperated.] Oh my god! I will buy you a hat!

Kyle (as Everett)

[Sniffles mournfully.] … really?

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Still very done.] If you just shut up about it yes!

Kyle (as Everett)

[Quietly.] … yay.

Kyle

All right so you’re all going into the sewers?

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Tom

Yes.

Hallie

Great, how much money do I have?

Kyle

[Laughter.] Alright.

Hallie

Alright. 

Kyle

Xoc let me… you have some more time to examine the string. It is an artifact! Which means you all get an experience for finding an artifact!

Hallie and Emily

Ooh!

Ari

Woo!

Tom

Yayy! [Quietly sings the sound effect of Link finding an object in The Legend of Zelda.]

Kyle

What it essentially is is… it is the String of Binding. You basically roll it at someone, and you can bind together any two limbs of theirs. You can bind together their arms, which prevents them from using their arms,  you can bind together an arm and a leg… What makes this special, though, is that the string will keep extending. You have to keep holding to it for it to be  effective, but let’s say I bind together your arms right? On the next turn you can extend the string so it can bind together either two more body parts of the same person--

Ari

Ooh! 

Kyle

--or two body parts of a different person.

Ari

Oh, that’s fun!

Hallie

That is OP!

Kyle

The one downside to this is the way it loses strength is with a d10 roll, is how it breaks. And for each new person you add, every turn you have to add a 1d10. So if you bind together a person is a 1d10 and if you roll a one then it breaks. If you bind together two people then it’s 1d10 and a one or two will cause it to break. Etc. etc. etc.

Emily

Does it change if you combine more limbs of the same person?

Kyle

Yeah, more limbs counts as another person.

Emily

Okay.

Hallie

That’s nifty.

Kyle

But that’s what you got! That’s your gift! Write it down because it wasn’t on my notes, I just made it up right now!

[5:00]

Tom

Yeah! I’ve written it all down. 

Hallie

Nice.

Tom

It’s mine.

Hallie and Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright. Almost the second you enter the sewer pipe you’re hit with a wall of… stuff. Smells, fog, wind, it’s all so… putrid. The air feels like moving through water, and if it weren’t for Elee’s candles, it’d be a hell of  lot darker than it’s supposed to be. Luckily, you don’t have to walk too long before you see an opening below you that almost seems to be sucking you downwards. There’s a hook fixed to a pipe right above this hole. And the smell is just--from this hole is just emanating upwards towards you.

Hallie (as Hopper)

We probably have to go down there.

Tom (as Xoc)

It’s not my first time wading through fecal matter.

Kyle

[Pause, then sputtering.] Goddamit why are there more poop jokes? We just solved this last episode Tom!

Hallie

Hopper will just give Xoc a look at that.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

He doesn’t feel like prodding right now.

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m just happy that I don’t have to do this in my normal clothes.

Hallie

[Deadpan.] Right. Hopper is in his normal clothes. [Whispering.] Dammit.

Ari

Misha is just going to jump inside. They don’t see exactly what the problem is.

Kyle

All right, Misha jumps down a pit!

Hallie

GOD!

Kyle

I’ll resolve that… Does anyone else want to do anything first?

Hallie

Hopper will jump at Misha suddenly leaping down into this pit. But… Misha is actively falling now, right?

Kyle

Yup. Misha is falling down a tunnel.

Tom

Can we see the bottom?  

Hallie

Can we see them fall?

Kyle

Oh no it’s--it’s f--really dark there. In like uh… probably… 

Ari

Oh, okay, I should have…

Kyle

Three feet and then [Snaps.] gone.

Ari

… I should have checked that before doing that.

Kyle

It’s about two seconds worth of falling. Two/three. And then Misha, eventually you find your descent cushioned by what could best be described as a ball pit, but even  more moldy.

Ari

Ew. Gross.

Kyle

It goes up to about your waist, or at least in Elee’s case, what would be Elee’s shoulders. There’s not a lot of light to spare but you can tell that you’re in a pit of about 200 feet in diameter, with a stone dome that stretches above you. When you first enter this ball pit of garbage you see a small funnel in the center of the roof open up, and a handful of brightly colored packages fall down and down and down into the sea of junk. Misha--Misha’s in the pit. What is everyone else gonna do?

Tom and Ari

[Laughter.]

Ari

Sorry I just--I had to.

Tom

I imagine we just sort of stand around like the people in the Leroy Jenkins video. 

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Tom

[Quoting.] “Oh  my god he just ran in there.”

Hallie

Hop’s gonna yell,

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Slightly strained.] Misha! You okay?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes. I am certainly fine. I do not see what the hesitation from you humans were.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well we didn’t know-- [Laughter.] we didn’t know where the bottom was.

Kyle and Emily

[Choking laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

The bottom is um…

Hallie (as Hopper)

Normally we just don’t go jumping into things! [Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

It seems a little soft and um… probably not very sanitary… 

Kyle and Hallie

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

But other than that it doesn’t seem to be too deep. I can grab onto you if you don’t want to fall in it.

Emily

Elee’s gonna cannonball.

Kyle

Uh…

Ari

Misha is going to extend their arms to try and catch Elee.

Emily

Noo!

Kyle

[Laughing.] Alright, roll to see if you catch Elee.

Emily

[Laughing.] Nooo!

Ari

I have 13.

Kyle

Yeah you catch her! And she, like a cannonball--

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

--just pushes you underneath the water… underneath this ball pit--

Emily and Kyle

[Laughing harder.]

Kyle

--so now you are just swimming in literal garbage. 

Hallie

[Raspberry laughing noise.]

Kyle

You are swimming in literal garbage.

Emily

Elee looks over and is like,

Emily (as Elee)

….Why? Why would you--don’t catch me!

Kyle

Remember you are under garbage right now so it’s more like [Voice sounds like underwater.]  “Wahh! Wha! Why’d you catch meee!”

Ari (as Misha)

I did not know if the hesitation from jumping was being afraid of hurting from the fall so I wanted to prevent that. Apparently I did not think this through enough. 

All

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Elee)

Well if you were going to catch anyone, catch one of the fragile ones!

Ari (as Misha)

You are one of the… um… well…

Tom

Oooh!

Hallie

Burn!

Ari (as Misha)

I seem to believe that you are one of the smallest ones in the group so that’s why I thought… you… might be one of the most… propense ones to get hurt…

Hallie and Emily

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Elee)

I uh… I appreciate the effort but uh… I am a literal cannonball.

Tom

Well… Xoc can just Farstep down. Which he will do!

Kyle

Alright Hop, what are you gonna do?

Hallie

[Laughing.] Hop will make eye contact with Everett, say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Kid, this is for your own good.

Hallie

And then push him down the hole himself

Kyle

You hear a long scream. You hear,

Kyle (as Everett)

Aaaaaaahhhhhh! [Scream trails off into the sound of hitting the floor.]

Hallie

Hopper will yell…

Hallie (as Hopper)

You’re fine!

Hallie

...before jumping in himself, holding his hat for flair.

Kyle

Tready drops down with you, and you hear a long beep of excitement as it like, takes off its hovering capabilities and just lets itself fall down.

Emily

Aww.

Kyle

Alright, so you’re all down there, and uh… as you’re all down you are able to take a little bit more of a look. 

[Soft, mysterious music begins.] 

You notice that this pit should be pitch black. But there is lighting in it. This lighting is coming from a handful of glowing lights that are floating aimlessly over the sea of Numenera. Upon closer inspection you can see these semi-translucent pasty white orbs occasionally extend thin lines from the center of their bodies. These lines extend down into the sea and completely envelop specific items, pulling these items into the main squishy bodies of these white orbs, which then leave through the hole you just fell down. And, um, I’m going to call these, in the future I am going to refer to these as Blubberbots.

[10:00]

Hallie

[Gleefully in the background to herself.] Blubberbots!

Kyle

So you see these glowing Blubberbots. And in addition you see five different things, all in very separate parts of the pit. The first thing you see is the end of a purple scarf pulling itself out of the ground…

Ari

OH!

Kyle

… and almost like, waving towards the party…

Ari

OH!

Kyle

… when you look at it. You hear buzzing punctuated by small fwips and pings of buzzer disks clattering against other objects and falling to the ground. You see a glint of light reflecting from a Blubberbot that seems to be the reflection from a long, thin glass. You see just a big old Santa sack of shit, which is clearly Jesse’s bag. And finally, suspended in midair like a grizzly specter, you see the haggard clothing of Elee Badge.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Ari

Misha is gonna run towards their scarf.

Hallie

I’m assuming we are all splitting up.

Tom

Yeah I’m guessing I’m gonna go get my staff and hopefully all of my other gear.

Ari

Yes. Same.

Kyle

All right Xoc goes towards the staff. Misha goes towards the scarf. Elee and Hop, what do you do?

Hallie

Going for my buzzer disks.

Emily

Clothes.

Hallie

And after that I’m going for Jesse’s stuff.

Kyle

Alright. And what do you have Everett and Tready do? Do they follow you or is Tready just sitting there trying to console Everett as he screams?

Hallie

Uh, I’m not paying much attention to Everett. I mean, I made sure he was okay, but…

Tom

Xoc will ask Everett to look for the miscellaneous gear that wasn’t immediately spotted.

Emily

[Sadly.] Like my chair! I want my chair back. I wanna have Tready go for Jesse’s bag.

Kyle

Okay! And you tell Tready go for Jesse’s bag, and you hear a [makes beeping noise]. So just assume that anything I don’t describe right now, Everett found.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

So let me describe what each of you get. Misha you reach over your scarf, and you pull out your scarf…  actually roll me a 1d6

Ari

Ohhhkay… Let me go get my d6. [Noises of getting up and going to reach the dice.]

Kyle

Everyone have a 1d6 because you are all going to roll one. It’s time for gifts from me!

Ari

All right here we go. 2.

Kyle

Okay so this is what you see. You see your scarf, which is wrapped around Xoc’s robes.

Ari

Hmm.

Kyle

You also see a blade that looks like should be hidden under clothing that pops out.

Ari

Oh!

Kyle

So you have your scarf, Xoc’s robes, and Hop’s armblade.

Ari

Alright.

Kyle

You also get a random cypher, which I am not going to describe its ability, because the way cyphers work is that you just kind of bullshit what you think it might do.

Ari

Okay, what the fuck do I get?

Kyle

You get a fork, but it has really bad scorch marks on the end of it.

Ari

Mm. Okay.

Tom

Someone stuck it into an outlet. 

Ari

[Laughter.]

Hallie

It’s just a normal dinglehopper!

Tom

Maybe it’s a dingleHOPPER.

All

Eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!

Hallie

I love it!

Kyle

Alright, Hop, roll me a d6.

Hallie

Kablooo! A one.

Kyle

So you find your buzzer disk.

Hallie

Okay!

Kyle

You also see Misha’s clothing…

Ari

Oh! Okay.

Kyle

… and a bat with nails hammered into it.

Ari

My bat!

Hallie

Okiedoke.

Kyle

You also get your random cypher. It’s long metallic rod, and when sparked with electricity an orb appears at the end of it and maintains a grip on anything within it.

Hallie

Ooh!

Kyle

There’s a joint that seems to suggest that it was previously connected to a shoulder, as a prosthetic.

Tom

I got a 4.

Kyle

Alright. So uh, Xoc. You get your glass staff. You also get Misha’s knife...

Tom 

Ooh!

Ari

Oooh!

Tom

Ooooohhhhhh!

Kyle

...you also get a large metal chair…

Tom

Ooh!

Kyle

… and your random cypher is… this one is a little hard to describe, but it’s a beanie, like you wear in your head, with two long ropes dangling down from it.

Ari

Oh, cute.

Kyle

This beanie is currently attached to a large piece of machinery; it seems hellbent to knot these strings around this piece of machinery, but this machinery is too large. So you’re able to disconnect it from the machinery, but it seems like this beanie really just wanted to wrap itself around it.

Tom

Sure!

Kyle

Alright. Elee, give me a roll.

[Dice rolls.] 

Emily

Boop!

Kyle

Oh, I like this one a lot. So, Elee, you find that your clothing… your clothing was hanging on Hop’s shield.

[Ominous music suddenly begins to build.]

In addition, you see a small plastic bag that inside of it has a small hamster doll that just reads, in all caps, “IT CONSUMES.” 

[Ominous music stops abruptly.]

Do you yell anything when you find your gear?

Tom

Xoc will let people that he found other people’s stuff.

Ari

Same. Could we do the thing where we all yell at the same time, “I found your stuff!” at each other? 

All

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Yes! Stuff, yes!

Emily

Yes!

All

[More laughter.]

Ari

At the same time!

Hallie

I love it.

Kyle

You yell and it echoes through the space. And I am going to do two GM intrusions. And so I am just going to give one experience point to everybody. So the first one is, Elee, as you grab your stuff you feel something tugging at your hat, and you see one of these blubberbots trying to pull your hat off your head.

Emily (as Elee)

Hell no. You do not touch my hat.

Emily

I want to...

Kyle

Think quick--

Emily

[Hurriedly.] I wanna stab it!

Kyle

--Alright, and by this point the hat is already sinking up because it took you a while to respond.

Emily

[Despondent.] Noooo!

Kyle

Alright, give me a roll to try and stab this thing and get your hat back.

Emily

Okay I want to stab with one hand and hold onto the hat with the other though.

[15:00]

Kyle

Okay you are trying to reach the hat and stab it.

Emily

[Sadly.] Six.

Kyle

You swing at this thing and it starts to gerble, like, an alarm; it’s like [Gurgling, upset sort-of turkey noise.]--

Hallie and Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

--and it’s clearly agitated, but by this point your hat has completely consumed back up into it.

[Slow, unsettling video game dungeon music has begun to play.]

Emily

Noooooooooo!

Kyle

That’s GM intrusion one. GM intrusion two... [Voice turns gleefully evil.] is for everybody. 

Tom and Ari

[Noises of interest.]

Kyle

As you’re rummaging through your gear, you all feel your feet suddenly move a few inches, as the loud clanging of a series of massive cogs starting up reverberates throughout the space.

Ari

Oh yooooooo!

Tom

Trash compactor!

Kyle

After a short beat, wherein you are able to regain your footing, you start moving again, as the sea pushes you with an increasing determination in a counterclockwise fashion. At the same moment, a small hole illuminating with harsh light opens up in the center of this impromptu whirlpool, growing steadily to about 15 feet in diameter. If it wasn’t already, the meaning of “take the best, burn the rest”’s latter half of it is now crystal clear. 

[Menacing music crescendos and stops.]

It’s time to roll initiative, baby!

Ari

Yoooooooo!

Kyle

So you’ve got this whirlpool trying to suck you in to this bright light hole in the center. You also have three of these Blubberbots, who have now been agitated by Elee. So everyone give me what your roll is.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Ari

Ten!

Emily

Sixteen.

Tom

Five.

Hallie

Eleven.

Kyle

Uh, and you got three agitated Blubberbots. Elee, what do you do?

Emily

Well, Elee’s solely focused on her hat and the Blubberbot that has it. Is it, like, high up in the air?

Kyle

Uh, no, it’s a couple of feet. You could easily hit it.

Emily

Okay, well mostly I just want to grab my hat, honestly. Can I grab it [Cajolingly.] aaaannd try to hit it?

Kyle

Uh, you can either try to slash it out or you can try to yank it out.

Emily

I want to try to, like, claw it out.

Kyle

Okay, give me your roll for that.

Emily

Okay.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Fifteen.

Kyle

Okay, yeah you hit this bot which does another [Upset, garbled blubbering noise.] in major distress. But you cut out a hole and your hat falls down into the ground below.

Emily

I put it on.

Kyle

Okay, yeah. Well no, no, that’s another action. 

Emily

[Indignantly.] What?! That is not--

Kyle

The hat is now in the garbage. 

Emily

That is not an action--

Kyle

No, that’s another action. Putting a hat on a head is an action. That’s clearly an action.

Tom

I don’t know.

Hallie

I don’t know.

Tom

This feels..

Emily

This feels contrived.

Kyle

[Exasperated.] Okay, fine. The hat falls on your head. You win.

Emily

[Singing cheerfully.] Thank you!

Kyle

And this bot flutters to the ground and like kind of seeps down. Like, this thing is dead. But, two more of its friends notice you. One of which you can see has these two silver nunchucks inside of its body. And from the end of one of those nunchucks, a laser shoots out like a laser pointer. So, I want you to roll speed defense.

Emily

[Tiny distressed noise.]

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Kyle

So, a red light laser shoots from this bot and it misses you. And as it does, you see the other nunchuk, the one that’s not a laser, start to rotate inside this thing’s body. And as it does, the ground beneath you moves in kind and tries to flip you over. And, actually no--it, it throws you into the air. You see the second, because there are only two of these bots, come at you.

Emily

[Groans unhappily.]

Kyle

And I need you to roll defense against this one.

Tom

They’ve got Wii remotes.

Emily

I wanna…

Tom

Yo!

Emily

I wanna spend...a point of effort.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Kyle

Nineteen. So, what’s your major effect here?

Emily

[Happy huff.] Okay, um, can I try to come down like on top of [Laughter.] the nunchuk one?

Kyle

This nunchuk throws Elee into the air and as she does she sees another white tendril fwing into the air. And as it does, she hears the sharp ringing of bees. She hears a horrible [Buzzing.] sound--

Ari

Oh damn.

Kyle

--as this tendril whizzes past her.

Tom

Bees!

Hallie

Bees?

Kyle

And comes back into a second bot which you can now see...just has a fuckton of bees inside of it.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

But Elee is able to fly off and uh, she is now flat on top of the silver nunchuk bot, or as I like to call, the silver bot. That’s a Blubberbot’s turn so now it’s Hop’s turn. Uh, you’ve got this whirlpool and you’ve got Elee being ganked, so what are you going to do?

Hallie

Okay so, this whirlpool started out of nowhere, yeah?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Can I do a perception check to see if there’s some kind of controlling mechanism?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

[Upset noise.]

[Uncertainly, but with vain hope.] Two...does that...work?

Kyle

Yeah, there’s probably something.

Hallie

But Hopper cannot see what it is. That’s fine-okay.

Kyle

I mean for all you know it could be--it could be, like, in another city.

Hallie

Alright. Cool. And, just to clarify, we have not switched our equipment yet so none of us actually has our own equipment. We have other people’s--

Kyle

Yep.

Hallie

Okay, I have my buzzer gun and I’ve got Misha’s bat and robes. How big is the hole that we are being sucked in to?

Kyle

About fifteen feet wide in diameter but it seems to be growing.

Hallie

The walls aren’t closing in, right? That’s not a thing that’s also happening?

Kyle

Nope. It’s just--

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

It’s just a whirlpool pulling you in.

[20:00]

Hallie

Well, I got nothing. But Elee’s being janked over there so--I don’t want to shoot the Beebot because I feel like if I shot it…

Emily and Kyle

[Laughter.] 

Hallie

It would just explode into bees.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

And that feels like that would only complicate our situation.

Tom

Not the bees--

Hallie

Not the bees! [Laughter.] I’m going to--actually, okay, so I’m gonna try out my cypher just to see what it does. Because it’s a long metallic rod and the orb at the end, you said, sparks but it looks like it was a shoulder prosthetic?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Well, I had gotten the impression that when I saw it that maybe it was, lik,e one of those grabby things with the --rex head on the end that you can use to, like, claw-grab something? So, I would actually really like to try to claw-grab the Beebot depending on how high it is and then throw it into the hole just to see what happens. Like, maybe flames come up and it’s incinerated. Either way, it gets rid of the Beebot and we know more about our situation.

Kyle

You run over to the Beebot. I’m going to say you’re able to swim through the muck to get to it just to save simplicity.

Hallie

As a flavor thing, I have tied Misha’s robes around my waist like a cardigan so that I can still hold them. And I have tucked her bat--their bat, into the tie.

Kyle

I’m gonna say the cypher lets you grab it--

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

But you’re gonna have to throw it.

Hallie

Alright, here we go. 

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

[Hopefully.] Thirrrteen.

Kyle

Kay.You throw this thing into the, the, like, burning area right?

Hallie

Hole, yeah.

Kyle

And you--

Hallie

Into the hole.

Kyle

Into the hole. The cypher accidentally goes along with it because it’s gotta break anyway-

Hallie

Damnit! Alright.

Kyle

And you hear the cypher clang down a little bit and then after a moment, the Beebot flies back up because, again, it flies, Hallie. It can fly!

All

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Well, I thought maybe it would disorient it? Like--

Emily and Hallie

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright Misha, what are you gonna do?

Ari

I wanna test, okay, first I want Misha to, like, wrap their scarf and tie all of the items around their scarf like on their waist so that--

Kyle

Okay.

Ari

It’s secure.

Kyle

You have Batman’s utility belt--

Ari

Basically.

Kyle

Except it just has a dagger and some clothes.

Ari

[Laughter.] I do want to test to see what this cypher does. I don’t know if it will work but maybe to ranged weapons. So I want to aim it at one of the robots and do my best for it to shoot a thing or something.

Kyle

Which are you shooting at?

Ari

The bee one.

Kyle

Uh, yeah. Gimme a roll to see if this successfully shoots.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Ari

Uh, well I have a five. So, uh, so probably not.

Kyle

It sparks with energy and a great beam of fire-

Ari

Oh!

Kyle

Looks like it’s going to shoot out-

Ari

I knew it!

Kyle

And then the tip just blows up in your hands and it falls to the ground.

Ari

...It’s fine.

Kyle

Oops! Xoc, it’s your turn.

Tom

Uh, I’m curious. Would I be able to some of my intelligent interface abilities to reach my mind out to the machine that’s controlling the whirlpool a-and, like, at the very least detect where its being controlled from or by what?

Kyle

Yeah! Gimme a roll to see if you can do that.

Tom

Alright, let’s spend two levels of effort so that it will be one step easier than normal. 

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

And an experience to re-roll that 3.

Kyle

Alright, what lets you re-roll it? What in, like, universe gives Xoc that second wind?

Tom

[Mystical choral music, Xoc’s Nano theme, begins to play.] 

Xoc ignores everything about the battle going on around him. He has faith that his friends will be able to defeat the Blubberbots. And he simply kneels down in the trash, amidst all the chaos, closes his eyes, and attempts to calm himself and focus only on the signals. And he devotes great time and effort to this, so that even if he does not immediately make contact, he just continues processing, trying to find where that signal is coming from. I got a ten on my second roll.

Kyle

You know the sounds that, uh--[Sighs.] God, this is going to date us for some people here--but you know the sounds that dial-up internet used to make?

Tom

Yeah.

Ari

Yeah!

Kyle

Where it’s like, [Imitates screeching dial-up internet sound.] That’s what you hear. It’s like calling a fax machine. It’s not some sort of intelligent life.

Tom

Of course.

Kyle

It’s not an intelligent machine, but you can tell that the hole--it is somewhere far, like a hundred feet down beneath that hole.

Tom

Okay.

Kyle

Now that we’re at the beginning of the turn, I need everyone to roll might defense-

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

--as the whirlpool tries to push you closer to the center.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Ari

Fourteen!

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Tom

I got twelve.

Hallie

Ten.

Emily

Seventeen.

Kyle

Alright, you all resist being pushed in further as the whirlpool tries to take you off your feet. But, you can tell it's getting stronger and it’s going to be a bit harder to avoid next time.

Emily

I mean, I’m still in the air. [Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright, Elee what are you going to do? [Laughter.]  Oh that’s true, Elee didn’t have to roll. Whatever.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Tom

Wasted a seventeen, Kyle.

Kyle

Sorry Tom. God!

Emily

So, can I tell what these things are made of? Are they just, like, gelatinous things?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, they’re just like--they’re flubber.

Emily

[Clearly scheming.] So, if I stuck my hand in it--

Kyle

What do you want to try--

Emily

--to try to get the nunchucks...

Kyle

Yeah! You can try to pull the nunchucks out of it.

Emily

Okay! I’m gonna try that.

Kyle

Okay.

Emily

I would like to use my claw-

Kyle

To dig in a little deeper?

Emily

Yeah. To dig in deeper.

Kyle

So, you’re basically tearing open this thing’s chest and reaching in for its heart.

[25:00]

Emily

Yeah, exactly!

Hallie

Nice.

Kyle

Okay, roll.

Emily

Okay. Heavy weapon! 

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

[Horrified laughter.] Two!

Kyle

[In mock sympathy.] Yeah, no this thing is like--it actually turns over and you see it shoot its laser at your claw for a second as it just grabs your claw--which is an inanimate object--and throws it backwards, preventing you from hitting it. And seeing that actually, it is going to...what’s it gonna do? Because now it is the Blubberbot’s turn. It is going to shoot an arrow above you at the ceiling. And you hear a rumbling from the ceiling above you and I need you to roll speed defense as this thing tries to drop basically a giant chunk of metal--

Emily

Oh no!

Kyle

--on your head.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Emily

[Wailing.] Three!

Kyle

You take six points of damage, um, before armor--

Emily

[Unhappy noise.]

Hallie

Oh no.

Tom

Just reduced to, what, two damage?

All

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Two damage. But this also has the additional effect of pushing the Blubberbot on you into the water. So, it seems to have taken a little bit of damage too.

Emily

Okay.

Kyle

The Beebot, meanwhile, is very interested by Misha and the sparks that they shot out.

Ari

Oh.

Kyle

So Misha, I want you to roll speed defense as a mass of, like, bees and Jell-O try to consume you.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Ari

Fifteen!

Kyle

You can feel the bees right at your face--

Ari

Not the bees! Agh!

Kyle

--trying to sting you, but how do you end up dodging--how do you end up dodging the Beebot?

Ari

Mmm...mmmmmm....hmm. Could I use like, turn around gracefully, and like hit them with my scarf as I’m turning around since it's so long? It’d be like [Whip sound.].

Kyle

No, yeah you like a badass just thwip it away with your scarf.

Ari

As I turn around.

Kyle

Okay, cool. Hop, what are you going to do?

Hallie

Um, there are two perception checks I would like to make. The hole is, is-fifteen feet. It’s not growing bigger.

Kyle

It is growing bigger. It’s about twenty feet now.

Hallie

It is growing bigger? Alright, well then that plan’s out. I’m just making that one perception check then. Um, where we fell in from the hole, um, I wanna do a perception check to see if there isn’t another way back up that we just missed because we haven’t been looking for it. 

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Seven.

Kyle

You see a handful of other holes.

Hallie

Just other holes.

Kyle

Yep. You don’t see any specific pathway but you see a couple of holes that are closer to the ground.

Ari

Hmm.

Hallie

Okay. Okay, my next action is going to be yelling to Xoc. So, I’m going to suggest-

Hallie (as Hopper)

Hey Xoc! Do you think, if we used your string with one of my buzzer disks, that would be strong enough to be a rope we could climb out on?

Tom

Xoc will shrug. He does not know how strong this string is.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Alright.

Tom

But he’s willing to try it.

Hallie

Alright, so Hop is going to just start making his way over to where we--to whatever the lowest hole is.

Kyle

Okay. Yeah, you’re pushing your way through it pretty successfully.

Hallie

Yeah, just to get there and check it out.

Kyle

Alright Misha, it’s your turn.

Ari

Ummmm-

Emily

Where’s Everett?

Kyle

Oh yeah, Everett is really struggling but Tready is helping him get up.

Emily

Okay.

Hallie

[Slightly disappointed.]  Oh.

Kyle

So they’re kind--they’re working together unless addressed by you guys.

Emily

Because I forgot about Everett. [Laughter.]

Hallie

Hey, hey Tready can float right?

Kyle

Yeah, Tready can.

Hallie

How much weight can Tready carry?

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I’d say about two people.

Hallie

Alright, alright. That’s an option.

Ari

Can I try--also try to do a perception check to see if there’s a way to shut this moving thing down?

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

Okay, I rolled a one so it’s probably not going to, um…

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Do you think--you think if you threw, like, a human in there it would kind of like jam it up, like, you know, sometimes throwing things in gears? You think if you just threw yourself in there it would jam it up?

Ari

You know, I think that but I--I’m not, um, I’m not going to do that.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Ari

Yes, Misha does not trust--

Kyle

You know very much that it would kill you.

Ari

Yeah, I won’t do that. Is Elee still floating?

Kyle

Elee is now-is now like underneath--

Ari

Oh--

Kyle

Because she was pushed down--

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

So you could probably see like the top of her hat poking out but that’s it.

Tom

Probably better to save Elee than anything else.

Ari

Yes, I want to grab Elee and take her out of there.

Kyle

Okay, gimme a roll to pick Elee up underneath all this garbage.

Ari

[Dice rolling in the background.]

I rolled a three.

Emily

[Stressed laughter.]

Kyle

You go over to grab--to grab Elee. You reach in and you pull out a homemade macaroni drawing--

Emily

Oh nooo!

Kyle

--that says I love--

Hallie

Noo.

Kyle

Yeah, a homemade macaroni drawing that says “love, Barry” 

Hallie

[Softly.] Whyyy.

Kyle

--but nothing else.

Emily

[Despondently.] Barry…

Kyle

Okay Xoc, I’m going to count this as a GM intrusion since it’s mid-combat but who do you want to give your experience point to?

Tom

I want to give my experience point to Elee because Elee has done some good stuff fighting the Blubberbots.

[Dramatic, somewhat somber piano music begins to play.]

Kyle

 So something happens before your turn starts. Xoc, your mind is filled as your sense of sound is overwhelmed by the horrendous pained roar of a mighty beast, and your eyes are fogged by black shards that rise out of the sea and swirl through the air. For a moment, your entire view becomes overcast with fog with the exception of a large fin thrashing through the Numenera, which you can see with clear focus.

[30:00]

This fin in fact lets out another great roar as the upper half of a xi-drake emerges from the sea, frantically crawling its way skyward. The beast continues to roar, screaming for...help, maybe? As it’s white skin becomes increasingly matted with large splotches of scurrying black. The beast continues to thrash and plead and for the first time, it turns over to you staring deep into your soul. And for a moment, you hear a weak voice ask, “Please...friend?”

[Dramatic music builds and stops.]

Kyle

Well, well, well, look who is here at our announcement break! That’s right it’s you and it’s me, Kyle, your GM. Announcements are going to be pretty quick today because I am sick as shit, so our Intro and Outro songs are “Friends” and “Hitoshio” both by Miracle of Sound. Your call to action this week is to check out Mandy Robertson. Mandy is the person who made our icon art. She’s a really kind person and a really amazing artist. You can check her out on Twitter or on Patreon under Mighty Meller or you can check out a free webcomic called Hashtag Waffle Fry. That’s the words Hashtag and Waffle Fry-dot-com. I’ll also have a link to it below. So, this episode was a week behind my usual schedule. And normally, I would just double up and have another episode next week but because of the aforementioned being “sick as shit” and with holiday stuff with Easter coming up, I’m just going to release the next episode two weeks from now. Then, either at some point I’ll double up or I’ll be a week late again and that’s how we’ll get back on the usual Monday release date. But, all you have to know is that our current episode is still playing and our next episode will be playing on Monday, April 2nd. See you then!

[Dramatic music fades back in and ends.]

Tom

Wait, is this real? Do other people see this too?

Kyle

I don’t know. All you see is that all of the sudden the trash has now turned into black shards which are now flying through the air. And then everything else I described. So, you’re kind of like now just consumed by shit, but it’s all black shards.

Tom

Then, I guess Xoc will spend this turn trying to wade over to the drake and help it out of the water. He’s absolutely terrified of this thing, but maybe he can try to get it up out of the garbage.

Kyle

How do you try and get it out of the garbage?

Tom

Uh, he wants to slowly approach it and, like, pull its wings free of the shards.

Kyle

Okay, gimme a roll. A might roll to try and pull out its wings.

Tom

[Dice rolling in the background.]

An eighteen.

Kyle

You reach to grab its wings and your hands...go through them-

Tom

[Upset sigh.] That’s what I thought.

Kyle

You try to reach, you try to grab, but it just doesn’t work.

Tom (as Xoc)

Not now, not now, not now!

Kyle

Okay, now it’s Elee’s turn. And Elee, I want to point out what everyone else saw there. What everyone else saw Xoc turn over and start walking himself pretty close to the center of the hole.

Ari

God dammit, Xoc!

Hallie

Nooooo!

Kyle

And then start reaching through the garbage. Alright Elee, it’s your turn.

Emily (as Elee)

[Muttering exasperatedly.] Uggggggh, fine. 

Emily

Elee claws her way to the top of the trash. I don’t know if that’s like-

Kyle

That’s fine. Just do that.

Emily

Okay. Can I go and kind of stand between Xoc and the pit?

Ari

Ooh.

Emily

In case--or the whirlpool, in case he gets closer?

Kyle

So, you’re just trying to like push him in case he starts going forward?

Emily

Yeah, because I feel like he’s having some kind of episode that I probably shouldn’t interrupt but I also don’t want him to walk into the whirlpool. And like--he’s kind of a sweet babbie cinnamon roll. I don’t want him to die.

Tom

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I’m going to treat this as prepping an action so if Xoc tries to leave, you will block him.

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

Uh, the Blubberbot gets out of the trash. Actually, give me a second. 

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Emily

[In dread.] Oh noooo.

Kyle

You see metal start to shoot through the air as the Blubberbot is trying to clamor out of the garbage but is struggling as it’s getting pulled deeper and deeper. The Beebot, however, is still very interested in Misha and is going to take another swing at them.

Ari

God dammit.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

A thirteen.

Kyle

Jesus Christ, they should have made these things tougher. How do you dodge Beebot, again?

[35:00]

Ari and Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

How do you dunk on this thing?

Ari

I want to use my scarf again! Shooo! 

Emily and Kyle

[Laughter.]

Ari

--and then, and then after I do that, I want Misha to say-

Ari (as Misha)

I missed you, buddy!

Ari

To the scarf.

Hallie and Ari

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Ahhhh!

Ari

[Laughter.]

Kyle

And one more thing I forgot to do, because we’re at the top of the round again, so everyone roll might defense to not get sucked in.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Tom

[Nervous laughter.]

Ari

I rolled a twelve!

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Emily

[Nervous squeak.]

Hallie

Fifteen.

Tom

Sixteen!

Emily

Eleven.

Kyle

So, all of you don’t get pushed in--

Ari

Okay.

Hallie

Woo.

Kyle

[Gleefully.] Oh, except for Elee, who finds herself pushed back and is now an inch--

Ari

[Pained noise.]

Kyle

--from the end and is actually struggling to maintain her balance. Elee, roll me--roll me balance.

Emily

[Dice rolling in the background.]

[Victorious.] Eighteen!

Ari

Oh good!

Kyle

Elee plants her feet straight, but if you get pushed any more you are going into the hole.

Ari

We approach the hole!

Kyle

Alright. Hop, your turn.

Hallie

Alright, uh, so now Elee and Xoc are precariously close to the--close to the circle right?

Kyle

Yep. They both just walked to the edge of the pit.

Hallie

God!

Kyle

Elee to turn her back to it and Xoc to start digging through garbage.

Hallie

Well, Hopper--he’s going to go in there--try to get ‘em. Can I just go up to Xoc and just ask for the string? Because I wanna try attaching it to a buzzer disk and then shooting that at the wall and then using that to pull ourselves back up.

Kyle

Yeah. What I’m gonna need you to do though is...how are you trying to communicate with Xoc?

Hallie

Well, I can see--I’m yelling at him first. Not like “hey Xoc!” but I’m just like trying to get his attention. Like I’m wading towards him and I’m trying to snap him out of whatever trance he’s clearly in.

Kyle

What are you yelling?

Hallie

Just, “hey Xoc!”

Hallie (as Hopper)

Hey Xoc!

Kyle

Give me a roll to see how that works.

Hallie

[Dice rolling in the background.]

[Voice waffling in dismay.] Five.

Ari

[Faintly.] Five.

Tom and Ari

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Xoc, you hear...nothing, beyond the screeching, wailing of the wind, and the screaming of this xi-drake.

Hallie

[Dismayed.] I’m actively going towards him though!

Kyle

Yeah, but remember what happened last vision? He--everyone disappeared.

Hallie

Oh yeah, he--alright. That’s fair. Uh, well, I’m still going towards him.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

If I reach him, I would, like, touch his shoulder and try to gently shake him but I don’t know if I reach him this turn.

Kyle

I’m gonna say you reach him and that’s what you’re doing but it’s still not working. Alright Misha, what are you gonna do?

Ari

Well first, I want to try and use my psychic link with Xoc to try to see if that can work any better.

Ari (as Misha)

Don’t walk any farther! Stand where you are! Whatever you’re seeing is not--it’s not real.

Kyle

Gimme a roll, and this is gonna be considerably easier since you’re using your psychic link.

Ari

[Dice rolling in the background.] 

[Sheepishly.] ...I rolled a four.

Emily, Ari and Tom

[Laughter.] 

Tom

No, this is fine. This is fine.

Kyle

Uhhhhhhhhhhh.

Tom

No, don’t worry. It’s fine.

Kyle

Uhhhh yeah--

Tom

Everything is going to be fine.

Kyle

Xoc, what happens to you is the sounds kind of disappear for a second and it’s just replaced with a static buzz. But beyond that you don’t get anything.

Ari

Do I get any other--like, was that my full action or can I do another--

Kyle

I’m gonna say, since you didn’t walk towards him, you can also make some mo--you can also make some move as well.

Ari

Alright, I want to try--how far away am I from him? I know my scarf is large but I don’t know large is it? Because I want to eventually tie Xoc or, like, try to wrap the scarf around Xoc--

Tom

[Laughter.]

Ari

So, like,he’s not--if he walks backwards, he walks forward. I, like, restrain him with it.

Kyle

You can probably get up next to Hop. 

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

You can’t do anything more but you’re all now just together.

Emily, Tom and Kyle

[Laughter.]

Tom

[Stressed.] We’re all running right into the whirlpool. 

All

[Laughter.]

Tom

Jesus fuck, people.

All

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Count yourselves lucky that this is a podcast, because this next action might kill you all. Alright, Xoc, what are you gonna do?

Tom

So Xoc takes a deep breath and says,

Tom (as Xoc)

It’s--it’s not real. None of it is real. It’s not real. None of it is real. Focus on the signal.

Tom

And he’s going to do what he was originally gonna do anyway, which is cast “charm machine” on the whirlpool. This is an ability related to his focus “Talks to Machines” that convinces a non-intelligent machine to “like” him. Essentially, this means that there is a 50% chance that if that machine would take an action that would harm us, it just won’t do anything.

Kyle

Yeah, gimme a roll to see if you can charm it.

Tom

All right. We are going to spend two levels of effort. 

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Do I get to re-roll with XP after I know the results of the roll or do I have to--

Kyle

Yeah, that’s how--that’s how re-rolling works. Unless it’s a one.

Tom

So, I got an eight. Do I need to re-roll with XP?

Kyle

Yes.

Tom

Then we’re using my last XP to re-roll. Do I keep the two levels of effort or is that just wasted?

Kyle

Uh, you keep it. You keep it.

Tom

Okay. [Short silence, then a horrified gasp and groan.]

Ari

Was it a one?

Emily

[Laughter.]

Tom

It was a three. 

Emily and Kyle

[Stressed groaning.]

Tom

Fuck!

Kyle

Xoc, I’m pretty sure this is real. Like I am 100% certain what you’re experiencing is real. And I don’t know if Xoc knows that, but he definitely hears something telling him that this is real. I will let you decide without rolling whether or not Xoc listens to it. But something is telling him that it is very, very real.

Tom

I mean Xoc has already passed through the xi-drake. He doesn’t really care about that at this point. He just wants to shut down the whirlpool that he knows is still out there because everyone will die otherwise!

[40:00]

Kyle

Speaking of the whirlpool-

Ari

Oh my God-

Kyle

I want everyone to roll again as it tries to push you in.

Everyone except Kyle

[Loud sighs.]

Tom

Fuck! I was really counting on this being the one time this power was going to be useful this game.

[Dice rolling in the background.]

Ari

Fourteen.

Tom

God damn.

Hallie

[Groaning.] Ten.

Tom

Eleven.

Emily

I rolled a seven. Am I gonna die?

Ari

Who rolled a seven?

Emily

Me! I’m gonna die!

Kyle

You all--

Tom

Yeah, there’s nothing we can do.

Kyle

You all get pushed forward and you all see it; Xoc doesn’t, he just feels his feet cave out from under him, but you feel yourselves suspended in air as you are all pushed--

Ari

All of us?

Kyle

Everyone. And as you do, Xoc, you see this creature fighting but eventually the torrent is too much for it and it’s consumed by the wind and the sea, which have long ago become the same mass of glassy black. And as you hear the creature’s last pathetic whines, the wind lets up and disappears. And you see the hole beneath you as all of you fall, down, down, down into the light. And you fall down 10 feet, 20 feet, 30 feet, 40 feet, 50 feet, 60 feet. And you see the hole above you start to close. [Rhythmic thumping noise begins.]  And you don’t really hear anything...except for the loud ticking of the insides of a clock.

[Outro music intensifies.]

[Episodes ends 42:04]