Ep. 2: Turingtown, Part 2

Kyle

Previously, on Quest Friends...

[Intro music.]

Kyle

So Numenera is a game that takes place one billion years in the future. Uh, humans are still around, luckily enough!

Hallie

I will be playing Hopper Scotch, who is sometimes, because of the way he skips from town to town so quickly, known as Hop Scotch.

Ari

I am playing an android character named Misha. They have existed longer than they can remember.

Tom

I am playing Xoc. He has been raised among machines all his life, and has only recently, uh, within the last year, decided to go out into the world.

Emily

Elee is a very small old lady. She has a folding chair, it's reinforced by the same material that she actually has in her bones, and her big character identifier visibly is she's got a ginormous hat with a bunch of junk on it, including three lit candles.

Kyle

Everyone is here because the town has been posting a call for anyone daring, desperate, or deluded enough to adventure for hire. 

Kyle (as Sue)

We just need you to, uh, go over to Obsidian Bay, it's about a day's hike east, figure out what—what happened to Bill, and, uh...we can actually get his share of the cut.

Tom (as Xoc)

A cut of what?

[Intro music gets louder.]

[Intro music fades out as Kyle starts speaking again.]

[1:30]

Kyle

Alright, you get up bright and early from your hotel room, your cage, just standing in the middle of the street, you know, however you chose to sleep.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

Uh...yeah, the—the rat is tucked nice and neatly and very elegantly back in Elee's giant hat...and, uh, Xoc you can see still has a couple of stains on his face from what looks like a, about a half-eaten calzone. These things are huge, so—[aside] well, they’re called calzunes but they’re actually calzones, Emily, thank you very much—but what’s basically—it looks like a calzone, except it's just stuffed with a million different types of meat, because that’s the kind of town we're in. Uh...so mostly eaten—I would say Xoc, if you want to have eaten all of it you could have, but you probably didn't make it all the way through. Uh, so you get a...

[02:20] 

Tom

Xoc ate all of it.

Kyle

Right.

Tom

I assure you that he did.

Kyle

OK, so Xoc ate it all because he is apparently an inhuman monster. So you all, uh, you all wake up and you head out—and the walk is, as I said, it's about a day, so let's say you get up at like 6 am, it's about a 12-hour walk. So it's, it's mid, mid-late evening when you make it to Obsidian Bay. Now let me get to the part where I’m—

Ari

Uh, can I—

Kyle

Yes?

Ari

Can I make some, uh, uh, small talk with, uh, Hopper?

Kyle

Yeah, what are you talking about on your way to Obsidian Bay? It's, it’s a 12-hour walk, I can say we've got a couple of conversations in there.

Ari

So I—one of the thing that Misha has wanted to ask Hop, uh, Hopper is basically like:

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh, I believe you introduced yourself as Hopper Scotch, uh, but as I learned back in the bar the humans tend to, uh—they tend to learn names better if they’re talking about with a, with a nickname, so would you prefer to be called Hop Scotch?

Hallie (as Hopper) 

No.

Ari (as Misha)

[Laughter] Oh, but, um—I do believe in my investigations past of the name Hop Scotch, uh, it has been an ancient form of children's play. 

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Sharp intake of breath.]

Ari (as Misha) 

Are you quite experienced with those, uh, with those sort of games?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yes.

Tom

[Laughter]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yes, I am.

Tom

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

You, uh—I would love to learn that at some point.

Hallie (as Hopper)

To learn—to learn hopscotch?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes! Uh, I think if you said it’s a natural situation that all children learn in their lives, so if—in order to learn more about humans I need to learn about the game, and what better than to learn it from an expert—

Hallie

[Laughter]

Ari

—that is named after the game?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, I—I didn’t intend to name myself after the game. So my name is, is Hopper. It's Hopper.

Kyle

Out of character for a second? That is true and that is knowledge that some of you have learned from the Datasphere that hopscotch was a children's game. But that is in no way what this universe's hopscotch is. This hopscotch is as hardcore as fuck!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Is it different? 

Ari

That's amazing.

Kyle

It's—I told you it was different, Hallie!

Hallie

Yeah, but I forgot like what it was! [Laughter]

Kyle

Oh, I haven’t told you what it is yet, just—

Hallie

No! [Laughter]

Kyle

Just know hopscotch is different and it's metal as fuck now.

Hallie

OK. [Laughter]

Emily

Elee's going to clear her throat and say:

Emily (as Elee)

You, you know that children don’t play hopscotch. That's—that’s not for children.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! 

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well, they used to. See, I’m—I-I know a little bit of history, and it used to be a different thing than what it is now. 

Emily (as Elee)

I know what it is now, and I’ve played it, and it's not...

Ari

Can I Datasphere look for hopscotch?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, ask—what are you googling on the Datasphere?

Ari

“What is hopscotch?”

Kyle

Um, yeah, you get a bunch of results—very, very faintly you hear something about an accountant, uh, who had some like—

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

—terrible, terrible incident in the, uh, in the icy desert to the south, um...

Ari

Do I—do I recognize that accountant as Hopper?

[5:30]

Kyle

No, you don’t—you don’t really know what that accountant is, you just know that there’s some sort of ice town in the ice desert to the south, and it was just a catastrophe of his, uh...

[Laughter]

Ari

OK.

Kyle

You, uh, you also—you also get a little bit—there’s a game that’s like, about like jumping with rocks or something, uh, there’s—you see these artifacts, these small rocks. But, uh, there’s this very big article about this game called hopscotch. And it relies on a lot of human conditions, so you don’t know an awful lot about it, and that’s why we have a GM that's saying don’t worry, it'll come up later, I just haven’t made up the rules yet—

Ari

Alright!

Kyle

Uh, but two words pop out to you when you see hopscotch, and those words are: “death poker.”

Ari

Oh, fun!

Kyle

Uh, so all you know is that it's some sort of gambling game, and there are very very lethal ramifications.

Ari

Oh, OK...so I’m going to, uh, so Misha after doing that research is going to be like: 

Ari (as MISHA)

Oh! OK, so, um, I believe then—I would like to learn both about the rocks, uh, with children game, and hopefully they—

Ari

—oh no, actually no, it's going to be like—Misha's going to be like:

Ari (as Misha)

Uh, Yes! I would definitely like to learn about the killer poker game that tosses rocks at kids!

Kyle

[Laughter]

Ari (as Misha)

I don’t understand how this is a [laughter] I don’t understand how this is a children's game, but I would definitely like to learn it from the expert, such as yourself!

Hallie 

Uh, Hopper is a little bit taken aback, and he—

Hallie (as Hopper)

What—what—what hopscotch did you look up?

Ari (as Misha)

[Laughter] I—well, I just looked up what hopscotch was, and it—it seemed to be associated with poker, and death, and kids and rocks! I assume it is the same variation of the same game, but—

Kyle

Don’t forget, don’t forget ice—don’t forget ice and accountants!

Ari

Yes, no, I—and no, then Misha is going to be like:

Ari (as Misha)

Uh, and it seems to have been potentially created by a very scary accountant in the ice, uh, regions of the desert, uh, my apologies, my access to the Datasphere is still a little, uh, it's still not quite as, uh, pristine as I would like it to be, there seems to have been some, uh, error on my, uh, software recently.

Hallie

A brief flash of fear crosses Hopper's face—

Ari

[Laughter]

Hallie

—and then he kind of composes himself and says:

Hallie (as Hopper)

So tell me about this Datasphere! Sounds cool...

Kyle

Oh, do we mind if we jump forward a little bit?

Hallie

Yeah!

Kyle

Alright, so—

Hallie

Yeah, yeah, so the answer was the end of the conversation, Hop is clearly deflecting.

Kyle

Uh, so, as we continue, I want to let you know that Sue did give you a couple of cyphers at the beginning of the morning. And now it's time for another—

Ari

Cyphers!

Kyle

—education time with Kyle! So—

Ari

Cyphers!

Kyle

So one of the things about Numenera is that a lot of the tech in the Ninth World, which is where this takes place, it's just kind of leftovers from previous civilizations. And some things are pretty obvious to use, like, uh, there aren’t—we don’t have guns now, but there are things that look like guns and shoot like guns, and those are artifacts. Essentially if a character picks that up, they can use it as much as they want, uh, they just have to roll a dice every time after, and if they hit a usually pretty small number, it just breaks, because it's old. So like if I found an ancient VW Beetle, um, you know, I would know how to use it, but it might break. That being said, there are other things known as cyphers. Now these are artifacts that we don’t really know what their purpose was, and they clearly weren’t meant for humans, but the players are gonna find these things, and sometimes I’ll tell them what they do and sometimes they'll have to figure it out, and they just kind of make it up. And because they’re making it up and kind of brute-forcing use out of these items, they break after the first turn. So cyphers are basically one-use items that break immediately after players use it. So, Sue gave you four of these ciphers, and while I said earlier usually you'll get to decide, these ones she flat out told you what you'll use them for. Um, so, the first one is called the Density Nodule. The Density Nodule: Each time a weapon with the Nodule hits a solid creature it increases in weight, causing two more points of damage. So you'll essentially stick this to the end of your weapon, and, uh, for one day's worth of time, when you hit people your weapon will do two more damage. Does—is anyone interested in taking that one?

[10:07]

Hallie

I'd like to hear the other ones first.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

There’s, uh, there’s the Adhesion Clamps, which are gloves that allow for automatic climbing of any surface, and they last for 20 minutes. Uh, there’s the Machine Control Implant, which you affix to a Numenera device and can control it at long range. That lasts for ten minutes. Uh, and for some devices that are more complex, that might require a roll. If you fail the roll don’t worry, it won't break, it just won't work. And then we have Magnetic Master. These are gloves that establish a connection with a metal object that a human can hold in one hand. The user can move or manipulate this object anywhere within short range, and this lasts for ten minutes. So an example that somebody uses is attaching it to, uh, the helmet of an enemy, and then just waving that helmet around—

[Laughter]

Kyle

—to mess with them. So we have our Density Nodule, our Adhesion Clamps, our Machine Control Implant, and our Magnetic Master. Who wants what?

Ari

Uh—

Tom

I would like the Magnetic Master.

Kyle

OK. Xoc’s got the Magnetic Master.

Emily

Do you have to be touching something for the magnetic to work?

Kyle

For the magnetic? Uh, no, it just establishes a connection.

Emily

Cool!

Kyle

Yeah.

Ari

Hmm...I like the Adhesion Clamp.

Kyle

OK, so Misha's going to take the Adhesion Clamp, and can basically for ten minutes Spiderman wherever the fuck they want.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

Alright, and the last two things we've got are the Density Nodule and the Machine Control Implant.

Hallie

Uh, re-explain Machine Control Implant?

Kyle

Essentially you can give it—attach it to a Numenera device—attach it to some sort of tech and you can control it at long range.

Hallie

OK, so it's like you would put a thing on the tech and then run away and then still be able to control that tech.

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

From like ten feet away? OK.

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

I would like that one, I think.

Kyle

So—

Hallie

Unless Emily has any objections. ‘Cause I would also be very happy with the density one.

Emily

I’ll take the Density.

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

And then—and then long range. [Laughter] The long range! Uh, immediate is ten feet, short in our game is gonna be thirty feet, and then long, I’m just gonna say is like...it's like a mile. I know that’s longer than they say, but I’m gonna say long range is a mile. 

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

Because we're badasses in this game.

Hallie

I've noted.

Kyle

Alright, uh, and then in that case, uh, I’m gonna give the last one to Elee. Elee, you're going to get the Density Nodule. Essentially, whenever you want you can attach this to a weapon of your choice, and, uh, for the next 28 hours, which is the length of a day in the Ninth World, your—that weapon causes 2 more points of damage. Alright! So are we ready to see what Obsidian Bay looks like?

Hallie

Sure am!

Ari

Yes, sir!

Tom

Yeah!

Kyle

After a day's walk and long conversation, and, uh, I’m sure a little bit of, uh, Hop looking to the Data—trying to research the Datasphere so he can figure out how to erase something from the Cloud...

Hallie

Yup.

Kyle

Uh, you make it to Obsidian Bay. So Obsidian Bay, as we know, is right next to the Black Riage, which is this giant mountain range that basically separates the Steadfast, which is civilization, from the Beyond, which is not civilization, in short? Um, and what you kind of see is you see this big, uh—you see yourselves beneath this giant cliffside outcropping, and from this cliffside outcropping you can kind of see there’s, there’s the normal rock, and then there’s this kind of smooth, uh, almost like stone, kind of like this very smooth ceramic stone that you would kind of see classic castles made out of, uh, and then cropping up from the mountains you see three long, thick poles that jut out from the rock, and connected to each of them is this, is a cylindrical tower that’s about 15 feet high, and these kind of move in a semicircle, uh, kind of like if you were a really big giant you could just use them as stairs to get up to the top of that cliffside. Uh, and connected to each one are essentially ski lifts, so, uh, I’m assuming you're going to ride the ski lifts up?

Hallie

Yup.

Tom

Sure.

Kyle

Alright, so you get inside each of the ski lifts and they look basically the same, they’re like, they’re nice little boxes that are about—they’re pretty small, they’re like five feet by five feet, they’ve got glass on all four sides so you can look out at the beautiful landscapes, which in the area you are is basically dirt, dirt, more dirt, an occasional dino-camel running, um...

Hallie

[Laughter] Is it making a dino noise?

Kyle

Of course!

Hallie

[Screeching noise]

Kyle

That’s what they mainly sound like, it's "Neee-uh! Neeeee-uh"] I’m an aneen! Neeee-uh!”

Hallie

It's like a Waluigi dinosaur noise!

Kyle

And then tiny ones are like [higher pitched] "Neee-uh! I’m an aneen! Nee-uh! Nee-uh!" Uh, that’s an aneen, that’s what they sound like now. They're like Pokemon, but worse! So you make it up the first ski lift, and get to the tower, the second one, the third one, and the fourth one is taking you slowly up to the top of the cliff, but right before you reach the top, it just stops in the middle of the air. 

Hallie

Uhhhh...

Kyle

Uh...it just like shudders to a break. And you find yourselves motionless, suspended in air.

Tom (as Xoc)

I have got this, everyone! No need to panic.

Tom

Uh, and I would like to reactivate the machine by tinkering with it.

Kyle

Alright, how does—let me take a look at your character sheet. Oh, you just have got to reactivate the machine by tinkering with it.

Tom (as Xoc)

Uh, I'll use my distant activation if necessary, but, uh, if possible I’ll try to start it up manually. What does—

Kyle

OK!

Tom (as Xoc)

What do I see when I examine the, uh, the probable control panel?

Kyle

When you examine it, you kind of see, uh, you see that these things are just really horribly made, uh, upon closer inspection you see the, uh, dact tape—which is the Ninth World equivalent of duct tape—that’s how I’m gonna name things, I’m just going to change literally one vowel.

[16:07]

[Laughter]

Kyle

Uh, so you see that this thing is kind of—it's like a motors, that are just dact-taped together, to just glass, um, so it's really really crude and it's very easy to get yourself in there, and you think if, uh, it would be pretty easy to, to fix it, so, uh—but you got to roll a D20 in order to fix it.

Tom

Perfect! Alright then.

Kyle

Yeah—no, this is our first roll of the game, isn’t it?

Hallie

No, I rolled for perception.

Kyle

Alright, second roll of the game.

Hallie

Second roll.

Tom

At long last, a dice! Uh...

Ari

Heart of the dice!

Tom

...and you said it looked—it looks very easy to fix, correct?

Kyle

It looks—it's going to be easy to fix, yeah.

Tom

OK, in that case I won't bother spending any effort. Go dice roll! 

[Dice roll.]

Tom

Oh...and that is a 16!

Kyle

That is a 16. You get that thing whirring back up again, and it just slowly and gracefully moves to the top. Uh, before I continue on I want to explain what effort is. Because that’s important to explain. So essentially instead of one health bar in Numenera, you have three. You have one for your might, which is everything involving strength, one for your speed, which is like dexterity and dodging things, and one for your intellect, which is brain stuff, which is just—which is what Xoc just did. Uh, there are two ways to lose health. One is getting damaged, so like by a punch—if I punch somebody, that’s gonna remove some of their might health. Another way to remove it is applying effort. Effort essentially means, uh, that whatever that limit you have to reach is easier. So if I apply one level of effort, uh, something that would require a 15 requires a 12, uh, but in order to apply effort you’ve just got to pull out from that pool, uh, so if Xoc did this, ‘cause it required his brain, he would have had to pull from his intellect. But he didn’t use effort, and he did it anyway.

Tom

And as—as I finish, I just turn around to the group, and he slowly spreads his hands out like this, as though he were Spongebob, uh, and says:

Tom (as Xoc)

Magic!

[Laughter]

Kyle

Alright, so the thing slowly—

Hallie (as Hopper)

Good job!

Kyle

—slowly moves itself to the top, and as it moves up, almost directly like a foot away, you see this man in a giant cowboy outfit, with like giant belt buckles, just staring at you. And as the door is open, he turns to you and says:

Kyle (as cowboy)

Howdy, neighbor! How can I help you today?

Hallie

Uh—

Hallie (as Hopper)

Howdy! 

Hallie

—Hop says, and again extends his hand for a handshake.

Kyle

Alright, Xoc—uh, not Xoc, Hop—I'm gonna do a GM intrusion.

Hallie

No! [Resigned] OK.

Kyle

So what a GM intrusion is, is the GM intrusion is basically my opportunity to mess things up for the players. But in reward, they get an experience point and they get to give an experience point for somebody else. Experience is basically what characters get to do one of two things—level themselves up to make themselves stronger, or, if they’re lame, do something like re-roll a dice roll that didn’t work well. So, uh, Hop, you’re gonna get one experience and you’re gonna give it to, uh—you’re going to give one to somebody else, so who are you going to give the other one to?

Hallie

I'm going to give it to Xoc because he just fixed the thing.

Tom

[Softly] Whoo-hoo!

Kyle

Alright, so each of you have one experience. Alright, so Hop, as you go reach your hand out to this mysterious cowboy man, you see the l—you see beneath you the lines kind of spark a little bit, and you see what looks like a white glass shard shoot up towards your arm out of nowhere. And I need you to roll a speed defense.

Hallie

[To an improptu tune] Da da da, da da da da...

[Dice roll.]

Hallie 

15!

Kyle

15! It goes up but you quickly pull your hand back, uh, and it falls back down.

Hallie (as Hopper)

That was weird!

Kyle (as cowboy)

Ha ha, sorry there partner! Uh, you gotta watch yourself! Sometimes the flexiglass just—it just has a mind of its own. Usually though, it's why—very safe if you just walk on over, uh, it should be perfectly fine.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Flexiglass?

Hallie

‘Cause he doesn’t understand what just happened.

Kyle (as cowboy)

Yeah, flexiglass! It's a glass-like barrier that just protects everything. Usually it's pretty invisible. But, uh, you know, if something presses up against it, it just kind of all compresses at that spot. It's a pretty complex thing, I’ll admit I don’t know much about it myself, uh, most of our thinking, you know, goes to Marshal, but, uh—but, uh, it's just a nice little, nice little protective thing, so, you know, nobody falls off.

Emily (as Elee)

Shouldn’t you know how this works? And, you know, how, um, to not make it possibly murder people?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, I’m with her.

Kyle (as cowboy) 

Well no one told—I told you, it rarely does that, and we have Marshal to take care of everything. Oh, come on!

Emily (as Elee)

Well, can I see Marshal?

Kyle (as cowboy) 

Come join us—come on in to Obsidian Bay, let me show you around.

Tom

Xoc wants to just tentatively probe the ground, ahead of like where the door would be, with his staff.

[21:09]

Kyle

Alright, give me a roll

Tom

OK, yeah—for traps. What sort of roll would this be?

Kyle

Just a D20.

Tom

I, I mean, might, speed, intellect?

Kyle

Uh, I’m gonna say intellect.

Tom

OK I changed my mind, I’m not gonna use effort—

[Dice roll.]

Tom

Oh! A natural 20!

Hallie/Ari

Oh!

Kyle

A natural 20! You poke around, and surprisingly you don’t actually look like an idiot who's just like pressing the ground, but, you know, that was a fluke, it's not going to happen again.

Tom

Alright.

Kyle

Uh, whatever this thing is, it's deactivated, uh, and somehow it got a spark of energy, um—yeah, somehow it got a spark of energy.

Tom

Well, with my natural 20, very well spent, obviously, Xoc is going to tentatively step out of the—out of the cart and onto the ledge.

Kyle (as cowboy)

That's the feeling, neighbor!

Tom (as Xoc)

We don’t live together. I am not your neighbor.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle (as cowboy)

Thank you, neighbor!

Ari

Uh, Misha is going to be like, uh:

Ari (as Misha) 

Excuse me, sir, but, uh, I—I keep hearing you mentioning the name of a Marshal individual. Who is this Marshal?

Kyle (as cowboy) Oh, Marshal, he just, he just runs the town, uh, he's a friendly guy, he's very, very nice. Uh, but don’t worry much about him, Marshal isn’t important. Here, I’m Gus! 

Kyle

Uh, he extends his hand to you.

Ari

Oh, Misha’s going to stick out their hand and be like:

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, well, uh, greetings! My name is, uh, Machine In Suit of Human Armor, or Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, but you can abbreviate my nomenclature as M.I.S.H.A. J.A.R.V.I.S.

Kyle (as Gus)

That is a beautiful name, Machine In Suit of Human Armor, or Just A Rather Very Intelligent System! I will be sure to remember that.

Ari

Uh, Misha: 

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I am quite flattered, but no one, uh, no one has really used the full, uh, pronunciation of my nomenclature before.

Kyle (as Gus) 

Well, people just don’t understand that kind of stuff. Take on a step in and take a look at Obsidian Bay! 

Kyle

Uh, and he kind of motions towards—and you’re going to see the rest of Obsidian Bay. So what you see is kind of a flat, uh, it's kind of—imagine like a cobblestone courtyard area, uh, in the center of it you see this...I have this all written down word for word, why am I not doing this? Alright, as you find your footing, you get a good look at Obsidian Bay. It seems to be built on an ancient structure made out of this ceramic castle-like stone, uh, which is what the towers you were climbing was made out of as well. About 100 feet in front of you are large spiraling columns that protrude from the mountain, but sink further and further back into the dirt as they move out from the center. In the middle of these columns there's a box-like shape about 20 people—feet high with a door. To the left and the right of you are two trapezoidal buildings with large arches or rods that kind of jut diagonally into the rock, although for the right trapezoid that rod seems to be kind of broken a little bit. Uh, it's still there, it hasn’t fallen to the ground, but like, uh, right where the trapezoid should be connecting with it, it all—it's all kind of broken and busted. Uh, there’s also a cliffside dirt pathway right next to the columns, and then a central fountain overflowing with a dark, coarse fluid. Most notably, however, are the obsidian tiles of varying sizes littered just everywhere. You've got these black obsidian tiles connected, you know, on the walls, on the—on the floors, a little bit on the spirals, they’re just littered everywhere, uh, which is probably where its name came from. There also seems to be a prominent amount of broken wood and wood shavings.

Kyle (as Gus)

Yep, this is Obsidian Bay! Beautiful, isn’t it. As I said, my name is Gus, I run the shop around here. 

Kyle

And he points to the, uh, trapezoidal building on the right.

Kyle (as Gus)

Feel free to stop by any time if you need to purchase something!

Ari (as Misha)

I do not possess any monetary, uh, investment right now, but when I do possess it, I will make sure to stop by your store, uh, kind human Gus.

Kyle

He looks very puzzled. 

Kyle (as Gus)

Monetary...investment?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I do believe—

Kyle (as Gus)

I do not understand what you are saying.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh, sorry, uh—I believe you, uh, the common term for that is money.

[Pause.]

Kyle (as Gus)

Money? I do not understand what you are saying.

Ari (as Misha)

Huh. Interesting. I—I believed that you owned a shop, uh, that accepted currency. Do you accept other...things as payment?

[25:32]

Kyle (as Gus)

Payment? I do recognize that. Payment, uh, we take in form of information, things new and exciting, like—

Kyle

He points down to this weird like, it's like a kazoo but has like this trumpet thing that's dangling from your side—

Kyle (as Gus)

Like that! Marshal has never seen anything like that before, and we would love to have it.

Ari

Uh, Misha’s just going to like grab it like really possessively, and be like:

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! Uh, excuse me, but I did expend all of my currentary, uh, currency payment, or as you would call it information, on this magical setpiece. Er, it appears to be very pleasing for human ears. So it is not, uh...it is something that I will not give as currency for you, kind human Gus. My dear apologies.

Kyle (as Gus)

Oh, that makes sense. Is there anything else you want to know?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh...well, uh, I still am not entirely sure as to the relevance of your boss Marshal, since you keep saying he is not quite important, but you keep saying that he is in charge, and I believe that this is sort of a contradictory statement.

Kyle (as Gus)

I apologize, I cannot say more about Marshal.

Tom

Xoc is going to cut in quickly, uh, and telepathically say to Misha:

Tom (as Xoc)

I don't trust him. We should be very careful what we say to him.

Ari (as Misha)

But why?

Tom (as Xoc)

He...is acting like someone who wants something from us. And we know that another person went missing here. You have to be very careful around humans, they sometimes want to steal machines for themselves.

Ari (as Misha)

Steal? Why would they want to steal something?

Tom (as Xoc)

Not all humans are good.

Ari (as Misha)

I...potentially disagree with that statement. You might not have been human long enough to know that information, but...I will—I will try to, uh, I will listen to your advice. He obviously is not as trustworthy as I thought, as he wants my very precious kazoo instrument.

Kyle

As you're talking, Gus is just staring at you, unblinking. And he says:

Kyle (as Gus)

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Hallie

Uh...while they’re staring telepathically at each other. Uh, I—Hopper is going to ask:

Hallie (as Hopper)

So we're looking for someone named Bill. Bill Turing.

Hallie

Is that his last name, Turing?

Kyle

Yeah.

Kyle (as Gus)

Bill? I do not understand what you are saying.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I'm looking for someone named Bill Turing.

Kyle (as Gus)

Bill Turing? I do not understand what you are saying.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Like you don’t know the person, or you don’t understand my question?

[Pause]

Kyle (as Gus)

I can answer any question you want the answer to!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Except for do you know where Bill Turing is?

Tom (as Xoc)

Where’s Marshal?

Kyle (as Gus)

I cannot say more about Marshal.

Ari (as Misha)

Why not?

[Pause]

Kyle (as Gus)

Is there anything else you would like to know?

Hallie

Hopper's standing next to Elee, so he's going to look over at Elee, and give her like a “What is his deal?” type look.

Kyle (as Gus)

Well that’s all you—if that is all you require, I will be on my way. Please visit my shop at any time. Have a good neigh—day, neighbor! 

Kyle

With that he turns heel and walks back into his shop.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Loud, exasperated whisper] I don't live by you!

Ari (as Misha)

Is he anybody's—is he neighbor with any of us? I know not—it's not Xoc's neighbor.

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, no, he's just using that as a—as a familiar term, you know, like “Hey, buddy.” It's kinda weird, but it’s, it's...fine.

Tom (as Xoc)

He's a creeper, and we need to be safe around here. We've got to—we've got to find out what’s going on before someone tries to jump us. It's getting dark out, so we need to be safe.

Emily (as Elee)

If anyone else calls us neighbor, we know there’s something wrong with the entire town and we should just...find the nearest powder keg, and take care of any obstacles, such as...overly friendly townspeople.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well...let's make sure they are just overly friendly townspeople instead of horrifying monsters before we blow up the town, but yeah, no, I agree, we—we should be alert.

Kyle

So, uh, of the next places you can go, I’m gonna remind you of, uh, of the places there were. The two trapezoidal buildings, to which Gus went to the right one, uh, you have in front of you, you have the spiraling towers that seem to have a door entering inside of like a box in front of them, uh, and then there is the pathway up the mountain.

[30:19]

Hallie

I would like to go to the other trapezoidal building.

Kyle

OK!

Hallie

But I will go anywhere.

Kyle

You'll enter to the left, um, and you, uh—as you do you see a little bit of a sign on the outside that’s crudely kind of drawn on the wall, and it says Coltrane Bar. [Sounds of clicking] So there’s the music for Coltrane Bar and I’m going to go through my description as you come in. So you enter to the room by the left, and you're overpowered with the rotting stench as you enter the room.

Hallie

Ew.

Tom

[Disgusted noise]

Kyle

So it's an open space the size of a classroom, that’s about 7 foot wide, and—it's about an open space the size of a classroom, and through the centre is this 7 foot wide, 3 foot deep row that cuts horizontally through the middle. A few feet away from the right wall is a waist-high counter that crosses the entire length of the room. Against that wall there’s this round hatch with a 10-foot diameter that protrudes from the wall, with one of those door handles you would find on submarines. Uh, kind of like, you know in that bar in A Bug's Life? That tube that they fed through the grasshoppers?

Hallie

Yeah, that had like the grain in it?

Kyle

Yeah, that’s—that’s kind of what it is.

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

Uh, protruding from the wall.

Hallie

Neat!

Kyle

It's open a little bit, and you see this rotten meat juice slides down from the hatch and kind of has congealed on the floor. Um, there’s a staircase on the left that moves up to a second story, and then a bartender stands brushing the counter with a haggard claw, while two miners sit at one of the few tables with drinks, and they’re playing cards against each other. 

Tom

[Laughter]

Kyle

They are miners, they're like miner miners—

Hallie

Two minor miners—

Kyle

This is a mining town, they are adult miners, we do not have minor miners, Hallie.

Hallie

[Laughter] I know, I just thought it was like kids! And I was like what are they doing here? Hop was going to flip his shit.

Tom

[Laughter]

Kyle

No, they are miner miners—no, they are not minor miners, they are adult miners

[Laughter]

Hallie

OK—like with pickaxes. [Laughter.] OK.

Kyle

Yes 

[32:18]

Tom

So Xoc—

Hallie

Just to clear that up.

Tom

When we get in, Xoc will just turn to Hopper and say:

Tom (as Xoc)

What do we do now?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Uh, well I guess, uh, we just ask around for Bill Turing, uh, the bartender's probably a good place to start. We should probably split up a little bit though, because if all of us go ask the same person for information, they might get defensive. So maybe—

Tom (as Xoc)

Split up to look for clues?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, like that, split up to look for clues. That way we can be casual about it.

Emily (as Elee)

I'll take care of the miners. I'm, uh, pretty good with a pickaxe myself.

Ari (as Misha)

I—I can go ask the bartender for information.

Tom (as Xoc)

I can check upstairs.

Hallie (as Hopper)

So who is it—is it just the miners and the bartender?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

And then there’s upstairs, which Xoc looks like he's gonna go too.

Hallie

OK, well I’ll go with Xoc then, upstairs.

Kyle

OK, we're gonna start with the barten—no, we'll start with, uh, the miners. Um, alright, so Elee, you walk down to these miners, and you see them playing cards, uh, although every time they, uh—every time they finish they seem to just be not re-shuffling, they just seem to be playing the same hands over and over, uh, so you’ve already got an idea of how bright they are. Uh, you see two of them. One has, uh, a name tag that says “Sal,” uh, and he's—he's the, the smaller one, and then you see this bigger guy with like a bunch of like tough mining gear attached to him, with a name tag spelled G-E-O-F-F, which you assume is Jeff, uh, and they’re just playing cards against each other, and they have kind of full glasses of drinks to their side. And you see the one with the name tag saying Geoff say: 

Kyle (as Geoff)

Ugh! Sal, you beat me again, I’ll get ya next time!

Emily (as Elee)

You, uh, you know you haven’t shuffled those, right?

Kyle (as Sal)

Oh, hello there, lady! 

Kyle

That's, uh—that’s Sal. 

Kyle (as Sal)

Well hello there lady, would you like to play one of our card games?

Emily (as Elee) You know, I, uh...I only play for money, and, uh, I’ve heard you don’t have that here?

Kyle

Sal looks at you weird for a second. 

Kyle (as Sal)

Money? I do not understand what you're saying.

Emily

Under her breath, Elee is just like:

Emily (as Elee)

OK, let's go find the powder keg.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Emily (as Elee)

Look, we're looking for a guy. Do you know what a guy is?

Kyle (as Sal)

Oh yeah, I know a guy! I'm a guy, I’m Sal, and this—

Kyle

—and you see the one with the Geoff name tag turn to you:

Kyle (as Geoff)

I'm Gey-off!

Emily (as Elee)

That's nice.

Kyle (as Geoff)

Would you like to play a game, lady?

Emily (as Elee)

[Long sigh] This is fine, you know what a guy is. Now—

Kyle (as Sal)

Yeah, I’m a guy! I'm Sal, and that's—

Kyle (as Geoff)

I'm Geoff! Wanna play a game, lady?

Emily

What—what’s the dude's name again that we're looking for?

Kyle

Oh, I thought you were—I was like they just said their names twice, Emily!

[Laughter] 

Kyle

Uh, no, you are looking for Bill Turing.

Emily (as Elee)

[Slow, exaggerated voice] Do you know who Bill Turing is?

[35:39]

Kyle

Hmm. They both look confused for a second, and like...together they kind of turn over and you see them say, uh, together, um:

Kyle [double-tracked voices]

Bill Turing? I don't—I don't recognize that name.

Emily

She's going to lean down to place one hand on the table between them, and look into both of their eyes. 

Emily (as Elee)

Are you sure about that? 

Emily 

Remember, I am trained in intimidation.

Kyle

Alright, roll me—roll me intimidation.

Emily

[Laughter]

[Dice roll.]

[Laughter]

Kyle

OK, that was an 8. They both look scared, especially Geoff. He's like:

Kyle (as Geoff)

Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t—I don’t know this kind of stuff, we usually just ask Marshal.

Emily (as Elee)

[Slow, exaggerated voice] Where's Marshal?

Kyle (as Geoff)

Uh, um...Marshal, um—I can't talk about Marshal right now.

Emily (as Elee)

You're gonna tell me about Marshal. I will count to three.

Kyle (as Geoff)

Well, Marshal—Marshal's everywhere, ma’am!

[Pause]

Emily (as Elee)

Can you elaborate?

Kyle (as Geoff)

Well, Marshal's everywhere. 

Kyle

And he just kind of, like, points around the room.

Emily (as Elee)

Ohhhhhhkay.

Kyle

Alright, let's, uh...yeah, let's hop upstairs first then. Alright, so you two hop upstairs, uh, and you see a little sign that says “Sleeping Quarters.” And then you see a dim hallway with one open door, and has this gap to the right of it. Inside there is a ceramic-looking pod with a diameter of 7 feet and a length of 10 feet. And while everything seems to be made out of stone, if you press it, everything feels kind of squishy soft on the inside. Like it feels—it feels like pretty comfortable, like you could bounce around all in there and you'd be fine, or you could sleep in there and you'd be fine.

Tom

And this is inside a cracked open door, you said?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, there’s—there’s kind of like an open door, and you see one of the—one of these pod—one of these pods. Yeah, actually, and if you go down there’s another open door, and it's got another pod in there as well.

Hallie

Um, are the rooms like—is there anything else in the rooms?

Kyle

Um, you don’t see anything in the rooms except—could you roll me a perception check please?

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

Uh...Hop got a 1, so he's just really interested—

Kyle

Alright.

Hallie

—in the ceramic pod, I guess.

Kyle

Alright, yeah, Hop, if you look inside to see things. 

Ari

[Laughter]

Kyle

...and all you see is the doorway as you accidentally slam your head against the top of the door frame.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Where did that come from!?

Kyle

Does Xoc want to do any investigating?

Tom

So Xoc moves up to the first such pod. Pokes it a little bit. Would it be possible for me to sort of investigate it and try and learn something about its properties? Uh, like with an ordinary intellect roll?

Kyle

Yeah.

Tom

I'd like to do that to start off then. 

[Dice roll.]

Tom

That is only an 8.

Kyle

Hmm.

Tom

Oh boy.

Kyle

You press the sides, and...you kind of get a little—you get zapped a little bit, kind of like static electricity. So you just shuffled your feet on the carpet a little bit too much and you got, you got a little—you got a little shock. You got a little shock, Xoc!

Tom

Ehhhhh.

Hallie

[Laughter] We chose such good names for puns.

Tom

In that case, Xoc will turn to Hop and say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Don’t worry, I can still fix this. Should the nano spirits accept me, I can learn all about these things.

Tom

Uh, and he'll—he'll, uh, sit down on the floor and cross his legs and hold his fingers to his temple, and commune with the Datasphere, uh, and I will burn—I will burn my one question, my one question to the GM per day and get a general answer.

Kyle

Alright, it's a little different from Misha because Misha, they’re googling.

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

You're communing with the spirits, uh, so you’re basically communing with the Datasphere.

[Mystical-sounding music]

Kyle (as Datasphere spirit)

‘Sup, brah? How you doing? What—what question you got for me, brah?

Tom

Uh...

Kyle (as Datasphere spirit)

‘Sup, Xoc? We don't—we don’t got all day!

Tom (as Xoc)

What is the purpose of these pods?

Kyle (as Datasphere spirit)

Well, let me take a look there. Mmm, mmm, these are fancy pods! Well, Xoc, if you looked a little closer, you would see the nice squishy exterior around here? Meant to keep squishy people like you from bouncin' all around when you’re transportatin'. Cause you see, Xoc, us Datasphere, we don’t got to worry about hitting things, but—but little squishy people like you do. Uh...now I would say if you just pressed your hand there...

Kyle

...and you can kind of see a little point down where you can shoot some electricity— 

Kyle (as Datasphere spirit)

...now if you just press, uh, your little pole, your little pole right there, er, that thing'll probably turn on and like a, like a—press that with your pole for a second.

Tom

Beep!

Kyle

You beep it and you see the thing whir into life. 

Kyle (as Datasphere spirit)

So just like now—now just step inside.

Tom (as Xoc)

I—I'm not going to do that.

Kyle (as Datasphere)

Oh—oh well, OK then, we will explain it to you. But just this time, Xoc! So essentially what would happen is it—it kind of suspends matter on the inside of it, so if you put organic matter on the inside, it'll just float in the center, uh, so that way you won't hit any of the walls, you won't touch anything.

Tom

So this isn’t a Datasphere question, but um...is there—is there anyone inside it right now, now that I’ve opened it up?

Kyle

Is there someone inside it?

Tom

Already, yeah. Are there people inside these pods already?

[41:27]

Kyle

There is not, but if you want you can do a perception check to see if you see anything else.

Tom

Oh, yes. And I'm actually going to spend a level of effort this time.

[Dice roll.]

Tom

And roll a 5! Oh, boy.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

So you luckily pressed it. You see these drops of alcohol drip off, uh, and as you do you see a broken bottle of whisky that’s like—looks like it's been slammed against something, uh, and you know shards used for fighting, you see a broken bottle of whisky just kind of float into the center of the pod. Which is curious, because despite this place being the Coltrane Bar, you didn’t see any alcohol when you came in.

Tom (as Xoc)

Hopper, I am very afraid that something terrible has happened to the people living in this town. I may not know much about humans, but I have seen none of the things that humans would usually do in a town such as this.

Hallie (as Hopper)

God, their doors are sure harder than normal doors! 

Hallie

Uh, Hop is still rubbing his head where he hit it, and then he goes over, and he looks in the thing. Would Hopper see the thing?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, you would see it, it's floating in the center now.

Hallie

Alright, he'll say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Huh. That looks like someone...what is this?

Tom (as Xoc)

It, well, seems to be some sort of stasis pod, uh, it holds you safely, like something organic in the middle, uh, and then can be transported around.

Hallie (as Hopper)

OK.

Tom (as Xoc)

I wondered if maybe they stuck people inside it, but there’s nobody in there, just broken glass and alcohol.

Hallie

We saw a second one of these in another room down the corridor, right?

Kyle

Yeah, you saw something down the corridor.

Hallie

OK. Uh...

Tom

Let's open that one up too.

Hallie

Yeah. Hopper's going to say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well, I wondered if it's like the boxes they were showing us. Does it send someone somewhere else, or is it just for transportation?

Tom (as Xoc)

I am not certain of that.

Hallie

So I want to go down and look at the other box.

Kyle

OK. Uh, give me a perception roll.

[Dice roll.]

Hallie 

5.

Kyle

Yeah, you see nothing in that box, you see nothing.

Hallie

Xoc?

Tom

Uh, I mean there’s no harm in it. You've betrayed me, die, so I shall use a different one.

[Dice roll.]

Tom

Oh! Oh, a natural 1!

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

You go, uh, and as you walk to go see it you bump into Hop and both of you just fall against the wall.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, oh...Hopper, thank goodness, I was so worried we were both going to fall into that thing when I tripped!

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Laughter] I know, right!

Tom (as Xoc)

I'm so sorry about this!

Kyle

Er, I think it's time to move down to...down to, uh, Misha at the bartender.

Ari

Yes!

Kyle

If that’s all right. 

Ari

Well, while all of these exciting adventures are going on upstairs, uh, Misha is approaching the bartender, uh, and they are, uh, they’re asking the bartender, uh: 

Ari (as Misha) 

Well, salutations, unidentified bartender! Do you mind if I ask a couple of inquiries about this location?

Kyle (as bartender)

Well, hello there, friend, is there anything you would like to purchase today?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh, no, not purchase, unfortunately. I do not have any sort of monetary currency, uh, or information to give, but, uh, I would like to ask, uh, some questions. First I would like to ask if you know anything about the whereabouts of Bill Turing? 

[44:52]

Ari

That is that name?

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

Yeah.

Ari

OK. Bill Turing.

Kyle (as bartender)

Bill Turing? Oh, I don’t know anything about—you've been asking about Bill Turing a lot, haven’t you? Is he your friend?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I—I personally have not been asking about Bill Turing myself, and he is definitely not an acquaintance of mine that I can recall. Uh, perhaps he is, I cannot recall if he is. But I have never asked you specifically this question before.

Kyle (as bartender)

Oh, thank goodness. Well, we don’t know anything about—I don’t know anything about... 

[Pause]

Kyle (as bartender)

Bill Turing is unidentified.

Ari (as Misha)

Well, it is not unidentified, he has a name, which for me that is the proper form of identification of a person. Does—do you mean that his whereabouts are not known?

Kyle (as bartender)

I would not ask more about Bill Turing. If he is not a friend of yours, then it does not matter.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh, well, it is—it still does matter to me, uh, however, if you do not want to answer me those questions, would you at least mind to tell me where the whereabouts of Mr. Marshal are?

Kyle (as bartender)

Mr. Marshal? Well, I can't say anything more about—You've been asking about Marshal a lot, haven’t you?

Ari (as Misha)

Again, I personally—well, I personally have been asking about Marshal a lot, yes. He is not my acquaintance, if that—if that is what you are asking. You have talked a lot about Marshal lately, uh, you and everybody in this town.

Kyle (as bartender)

I've already told you, Marshal is, Marshal is everywhere.

Ari (as Misha)

I do not understand this concept.

Ari

[Laughter]

Kyle (as bartender)

Marshal is everywhere! I—

Kyle

—and he starts waving his hands around. 

Kyle (as bartender)

I've already told you this.

Ari (as Misha)

That is—very well, uh, I appreciate the information, uh, human. Uh...I will confer somewhere else. And then I want to go and look for, uh, Xoc and Hopper.

Kyle

Awesome. Alright. Uh, so Emily just asked me if she can roll to see if she could hear that. 

[Dice roll.]

Kyle

A 12, let me look. Yeah, so as, uh, as Coltrane the barkeep says “I've already told you” and explains about Marshal, uh, Elee does overhear that.

Ari

OK. 

Emily

Elee is just—

Ari

Does she approach?

Emily

Yes. She's eyeing him very suspiciously. 

Emily (as Elee)

Uh....Misha. Misha?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes?

Emily (as Elee)

Do you know anything about the Datasphere? You know about that, right? You, like, you—

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I—I indeed have access to the Datasphere on a daily basis. I can commute with it and get information.

Emily (as Elee)

If you’re connected, can you connect with other people? Because they’re all saying the same thing.

Ari (as Misha)

It is— it is mostly—it is mostly a one-way communication with it, at this point. Though I do believe that there might be something more hidden, that I just haven't had the, uh, capabilities to reach into yet.

Emily (as Elee)

‘Cause it's everywhere, right?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes.

Emily (as Elee)

Well, so is Marshal. Apparently.

Ari (as Misha)

Do you believe that Marshal is the Datasphere? That doesn’t make sense.

Emily (as Elee)

He'd be in—in the Datasphere, not—not the Datasphere, the Datasphere is not named Marshal.

Kyle

Coltrane perks up. 

Kyle (as Coltrane) 

Speaking of inns, we've got a great one upstairs. Would you like to stay the night?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh, I think, I think we should confer with the rest of our party.

Emily (as Elee)

I think that’s, uh, probably a good idea.

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Is there anything else you would like from me?

Emily (as Elee)

Please no.

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Have a great day!

Kyle

And then, uh, Coltrane goes back to washing that exact same, uh, part of the, uh, of the bar that he had been washing earlier.

Emily

Elee's going to lean over to Misha—wait, Misha's really tall, right?

Ari

Yes.

Emily

She's going to go on her tiptoes then, and kind of grab his scarf and pull him down—

Kyle

Grab their scarf.

Emily

Their scarf! Yes, thank you. And pull them down closer, uh—

Emily (as Elee)

You saw that too, right? That’s—that's weird. That’s—that’s creepy.

Ari (as Misha)

I—yeah, I—I am not quite experienced with human beings, but I do not—I have not encountered any behavior like this before.

Emily (as Elee)

So yes.

Ari (as Misha)

It looked more machine-like, yes. But that’s...

Emily (as Elee)

Let's go now. Let's go. I don’t like it here.

Kyle

Alright, so what’s everyone doing?

Tom

I mean, I figure at this point Hopper and Xoc will probably come back downstairs, meet up with everyone else.

Ari

Can we—I just—I just imagine that I’ll like, like in the film The Legend of Korra, where like, uh, we are going to go meet them, and they are going to go meet us, and at the same time we go like, “This place is crazy!” like that...

[Laughter]

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Crazy sales on late night—uh, on late night inn visits! Come on over here if you want to know anything more!

Emily (as Elee)

Run.

Ari

Uh—we have—Misha is going to say:

Ari (as Misha) 

I am...I am not certain people here are human, and if they are, they are not behaving like one, as long as I—as my information about humans go.

Hallie

Question for the GM. Is there any kind of like a registry that people who stayed at the inn would log into, like by Coltrane the barkeep?

[50:39]

Kyle

Um...yeah, I’d say there is one right next to there.

Hallie

OK. 

Hallie (as Hopper)

Xoc, tell them about the weird cans we found. 

Hallie

And then Hopper wants to go over to the bar and try to look at the sign-in sheet for the inn. Specifically for Bill Turing's name.

Kyle

As you go to look at it, you see, uh, Coltrane, just casually but very firmly puts his hand on, on the book and says: 

Kyle (as Coltrane) 

Well, hello there, friend, is there anything you'd like to purchase today?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Uh, well, I was interested in a room, but the thing is that I don’t know if your inn is any good or not, if other people haven’t stayed here.

Tom

[Laughter]

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Well, I can assure you it is the best.

Kyle

Uh, and you hear Sal and Geoff say at the same time:

Kyle (double-tracked voices)

Yes! It is the best!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well, you are a little bit biased, since you work here...uh, look, I just—I got a recommendation from a friend, but I want to make sure this is the inn that he stayed at, so can I just double-check that his name is on this shi—this sign-in sheet?

Kyle

Uh, give me a roll for persuasion.

Hallie

I'm trained in pleasant social interaction, but I don’t think that’s persuasion at all... 

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

Eh, an 8.

Kyle

An 8?

Hallie

Yeah, an 8.

Kyle

Alright, he gives you a long, cold stare and says:

Kyle (as Coltrane) 

Well, of course. But you got to promise to stay the night then.

Tom

Uh...

Hallie (as Hopper)

OK.

Kyle

Alright, he opens it up.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Will do.

Kyle

Well—and you see the list, you see a bunch of names, uh, you don’t recognize, but it flips open to the most current page—so you see names, some of them are like you know, Sue Strongarm has stayed here a couple of nights, you know...

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

You know, about 4 months ago. In the past 3 months, though, you only see two names, uh, one of them is Hansen—Hansen Hensen. Um, Hansen Hensen is at the top, and then in very elegant handwriting, and then beneath Hansen Hensen you do see Bill Turing.

Hallie

OK. So is anyone—does it have like a logout date for Bill Turing?

Kyle

Uh, no, it doesn’t seem to have login or logout dates.

Hallie

Just names? OK.

Kyle

Just names. Just names and, uh, it does have—excuse me, it does have dates of when they came in.

Hallie

OK.

Kyle

Which is why we know those are the only two in the past months.

Hallie

Oh, OK.

Tom

It's a video game inn. There's only ever two rooms.

Hallie

A lot of people can't stay here, like only like one person...

Kyle

No, it's a really small town, and remember, it's outside of the—like most towns work for the queen, Obsidian Bay and Rhubarb are some of the few that don’t work for the queen, so nobody wants to go there, cause they don’t have—they don’t have good shit.

Hallie

Uh, so then Hop is going to ask:

Hallie (as Hopper)

 Uh, is anyone currently staying here?

Kyle

He looks down at the list, and he slides a pen over to you. 

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Well, you are, friend!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Right. 

Hallie 

—Hop says. And then he very reluctantly signs his name—but I want to sign Hopper Scotch in a way that doesn’t look like his normal signature.

Kyle

OK.

Hallie

So that people can't match it up with his handwriting ever. 

Tom

[Laughter]

Hallie 

So like the kind where you write like an H and then you just scribble the rest of it so it's not even letters, so like you can't be, like, “Nah, that doesn’t say Hopper.”

Kyle (as Coltrane)

Yeah. Henry Seevers. I will remember that.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah. That. Right. 

Hallie

And then I’m gonna want to wander back to the party and be like:

Hallie (as Hopper)

So I just bought a room, uh, Bill Turing stayed here, and I guess didn’t leave.

[53:57]

Tom (as Xoc)

They probably got him in the pods.

Ari (as Misha)

That is quite strange.

Tom (as Xoc)

I don’t know how you get out once you’re inside.

Ari (as Misha)

Yes.

Tom (as Xoc)

I have an idea though, if you want to shake things up. It's a little—it's a little, uh, crazy, but but, um, I’m pretty good at getting people to notice my antics.

Hallie (as Hopper)

You mean like a distraction?

Tom (as Xoc)

Uh...I was gonna...I was gonna maybe make them angry, and see what they do.

Hallie (as Hopper)

What is that gonna do for us?

Tom (as Xoc)

Maybe we'll figure out who this, uh, who this Marshal fellow is.

Ari

Misha wants to interject and be like:

Ari (as Misha)

Uh, I have a way of making people not angry after they are angered.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Ari (as Misha)

...referring to their ability to erase memories.

Hallie

Oh!

Kyle

Just casually telling people, by the way, I may have erased your memories, I can do that! By the way.

Ari

Well...

Hallie

Huh.

Tom (as Xoc)

But they do seem to be controlled by some higher intelligence. That power may not work.

Ari (as Misha)

That is—that is true. I did think about that.

Hallie

Uh, Hop motions to Elee. 

Hallie (as Hopper)

You got any ideas?

Emily (as Elee)

Got a very hard chair.

Hallie (as Hopper)

So no. 

Emily (as Elee)

We can take care of this very, very easily.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I don’t think beating anyone up is going to help us find Bill, though.

Emily (as Elee)

But if we take care of the people in the building, we can search it without worrying about whether they’re going to come up behind us and shove us into something.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I mean, Xoc and I explored upstairs, and no one bothered us.

Kyle

I'm gonna stop for a second. 

[Atmospheric music starts playing.] 

Kyle

And as that happens you see a man, very shakily, and he's like—he looks like he's really struggling on his feet—stumble through the door. And he just loudly proclaims to no one in particular:

Kyle (as man)

Hey everybody! My name's Bill!

[Music continues.]

Kyle

It looks like our party has gotten themselves into quite the pickle. Thanks so much for listening to episode 2 of Quest Friends, the one where things actually happen. Uh, I’m sorry this one took a little bit longer to come out. I made the mistake of thinking I could edit it all the night before, and then Premiere just wasn’t working for me. I'm gonna try really hard to hit the deadline next time, in fact I’m going to start editing the new episode as soon as this one comes out. Our intro and outro music, the same as last week, are “Friends” and “Hitoshio,” both by MiracleofSound. Those two songs, plus any additional outside sounds I used, can be found in the description below, as can our Twitter! If you want to, you know, tweet at us, or better yet tweet about us—because not many people watch it, and that, I mean that would just be cool, also it'd be nice here if someone say, you know, hi. So I’d encourage you to look down and give that description a look. I also want to let you know that we are now on iTunes for anyone who might have found us on Podbean but not on iTunes, although I suppose if you followed us on iTunes we're also on Podbean. Uh, that’s basically everything I have to say. Again, thanks so much for listening, and our next episode will be out on Monday, October 23rd.

[Music continues until end at 57:51]