Ep. 3: Turingtown, Part 3

Kyle

Previously, on Quest Friends...

[Intro music.]

Kyle (as Sue)

[Slowly] What I need you to do is go to Obsidian Bay, to the East, find a man named Bill, and figure out why they aren’t trading with us. Does that make sense?

Kyle

She pulls out a picture...and it kind of looks like a stopwatch. 

Kyle (as Sue)

This is something of Bill’s, he calls it his pocket compressor, so, I mean, if you can find this, you, you’ll probably have a good shot of finding Bill.

Kyle (as Gus)

Howdy, neighbor! How can I help you today?

Tom (as Xoc)

We don’t live together. I am not your neighbor.

[Laughter]

Kyle (as Bill)

Most of our thinking, you know, goes to Marshal.

Emily (as Elee)

You’re gonna tell me about Marshal. I will count to three.

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, Marsh--Marshal’s everywhere, ma’am!

Ari (as Misha)

Do you believe that Marshal is the Datasphere?

Emily (as Elee)

He’d be in the Datasphere, not--not the Datasphere. The Datasphere is not named Marshal.

Kyle (as Bill)

Speaking of inns, we’ve got a great one upstairs. Would you like to stay the night?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Look, I just, I got a recommendation from a friend, but I wanna make sure this is the inn that he stayed at, so can I just double check that his name is on this sign-in sheet?

Kyle (as Bill)

In the past three months, though, you only see two names. One of them is Hanson Henson.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

And beneath Hanson Henson you do see Bill Turing. And as that happens, you see a man stumble through the door, and he just loudly proclaims to no one in particular:

Kyle (as Bill)

Hey everybody! My name’s Bill!

[Intro music intensifies.]

[Intro music begins to fade at 1:47.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

That feels oddly convenient.

Hallie

...Hopper says.

Kyle (as Bill)

I heard people were looking for me, Bill. That’s my name! Bill Turing.

Ari (as Misha)

I do not believe Bill Turing is his actual...the actual identifier of this man.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah.

Kyle (as Bill)

I sometimes go by William. William Turing, that’s my name!

Tom (as Xoc)

What town are you from, mister--mister William Turing?

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, well I come from Obsidian Bay, of course!

Hallie

Oh, okay. While he’s talking to Xoc, can I just scan real quick to look for that PC thing that she said we would find with him?

Kyle

Yeah, roll me an investigation.

Hallie

17.

Kyle

Yeah, you’re looking around, you see nothing on him. In fact, this guy, he looks like he’s keeping himself pretty clean, like, I mean you heard that Bill is a drunkard, but you don’t see any alcohol on this guy, and you don’t see the pocket compressor anywhere.

Tom

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

OOOOOOOOOOH.

Kyle

Bill’s PC is nowhere to be found.

Tom

[Distressed noises.]

Ari

[Laughter] I wanted, I want to scan him too, uh, with my scan ability.

Hallie

With her actual scan.

Ari

So, I just--just want to, like, scan it to see if it’s actually, like, a human being, or if it’s something weird.

Kyle

Okay, give me a scan.

Ari

Okay. 

[Dice roll.]

14.

Kyle

You--you look at Bill, who’s really, you--you’re looking at William, as he’s been going by, who’s really shoddy, yeah, that dude’s a ro-bit. That dude is 100% a ro-bit, and he looks like a really fresh ro-bit too, which would be why he was so shaken, looks like all his parts aren’t really that well put together.

Hallie

Fresh ro-bit.

Ari

I knew it. 

Tom

While the scan was going on, Xoc suddenly bursts out and goes:

Tom (as Xoc)

Ooooh, it was Bill’s alcohol in the pod! I get it!

Hallie

Hopper claps a hand over Xoc’s mouth, but probably not in time.

Kyle

Yeah, give me a roll to see if you get- if you stop him in time. 

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

11.

Kyle

Yeah, Bill’s just--William, excuse me, is just so happy to be there, he’s kind of smiling off into the distance. You know, Misha, that his server, his uh, his, like, memory is kinda fried and he’s probably rebooting on the spot. Because, again, he’s, he’s a very new ro-bit, he’s not very good at being a ro-bit.

Ari

Yeah, so Misha is gonna approach--oh no, wait, no, because I cannot telepathically talk to Xoc, he has to do it.

Tom

Uhm, I mean, how would you rule that, Kyle?

Kyle

I’ll say, you two have, you two have opened the channel, so once you’ve opened the channel, it can go either way, unless Xoc decides no, I’m closing this.

Tom

I like it.

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

And the one thing I will say about Xoc’s communication with both opening it and closing it, it does have to be an agreement, otherwise he’ll have to roll against the other person. 

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

So be careful, because if you open the pathway to somebody you don’t want to open it to, you may not be able to shut them out.

Hallie

Like a Voldemort-Harry situation, right?

Tom

[Slightly afraid] Good to know.

Ari

Okay, uh, yeah, so I wanna basically reach to Xoc and be, like: 

Ari (as Misha)

These people are not human. The real Bill must be in, in the pod here somewhere and we need to be careful and find him.

Tom (as Xoc)

What are they, then?

Ari (as Misha)

They, they are machines, they are a little bit more, uh, primitive than myself, but they are definitely robots, and this Bill specifically is a fairly new one.

Tom

Xoc is going to not be able to conceal his...shock...EHHHHH?

[A chorus of “ehhhhhhh”]

Hallie

You’re the worst.

Tom

He’s gonna immediately go up and just start, like, running his hands along the Bill Turing robot, just like patting it down, knocking against it slightly.

[5:45]

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, friend, it’s nice to meet you too! 

Kyle

And he starts lazily slapping his hands all over you.

Ari

Misha’s gonna try and stop Bill from doing that, so is gonna grab both of Bill’s hands. 

Ari (as Misha)

Stop it, friend!

Kyle

Bill turns and he starts, he’s, like:

Kyle (as Bill)

What, I can feel you too, next friend! I, William Turing, can do this, because this is what our friendship is like!

Ari

Misha is gonna, like, play his game, be like:

Ari (as Misha)

So, Bill, where have you been all this time? Why weren’t you...why didn’t you show up beforehand?

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, I don’t know, I remember, I remember I, William Turing, your friend, told you, my friend, who is known as Machine In Suit of Human Armor and Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. You, my friend, with the very nice name, I remember telling you, so where did I go?

Tom (as Xoc)

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnm. 

Tom

Xoc is actually doing that in character, by the way, he’s just going “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhm,” looking around at the party for ideas, uh, and then he’s just going to say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, you know, Will, if that even is your real name, because we’re friends, uh, you should introduce us to Marshal, because we are such good friends...uh...of Marshal, and we just would like to help them.

Ari

Yes.

Kyle

His inhibitors don’t seem to be working exactly, and he says:

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, I can tell you exactly where, where my friend Marshal is if you want to visit him too while he’s just right over--

Kyle

...and you feel Coltrane, Sal, and Geoff all turn their eyes towards Col--William, William Turing, whose name is definitely William Turing and he is your friend, you see them all turns their heads towards him, and you see him start to, like, stop a little bit as if his brain is being overloaded. 

Kyle (as Bill)

I cannot talk about Marshal at this time!

Emily

Can Elee just jump them?

Hallie

I would be--I was about to say, like, “Alright, this is enough, let’s go with Xoc’s plan,” like, in character as Hopper.

Tom

Well, in that case Xoc will just clap William on the back and say: 

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I guess then since we’ve found you, it’s time for us to be going. It will be so much fun telling everyone in the outside world all about our new friend Marshal and about this very strange town. We’ve learned so much about Marshal, which we will gladly tell to others when we leave here right now.

Kyle (as Bill)

Well, Marshal does like making friends, but I don’t think he would [voice gets more robotic, deeper, intensifies] like that very much. 

Tom (as Xoc)

If only we could, he could tell us that in person, but sadly he cannot, we must be on our way. Come, friends! To the lifts!

Kyle

You see him put his fist, uh, hand against you. 

Kyle (as Bill)

[Deep, robotic voice] Well, friend, you wouldn’t want to leave without staying a night. It is very late.

Tom

Uh, and Xoc is going to look him in the eyes, dead serious, and say:

Tom (as Xoc)

I don’t want to hurt a fellow machine, but I’m not going to let you touch me again.

Kyle (as Bill)

[Deep, robotic voice] I am Will-i-am Turing. I am no machine. I am...

Kyle

You see him just stop off for a second, and his voice changes.

Kyle (as Bill)

[Lighter, but still intense, robotic voice] Well, of course, I would very much like to meet you, but unfortunately, I do not believe it is best If you come visit me alive. I will see you momentarily.

Kyle

And he goes, and he jabs his hand into your chest as an attack. And I need everyone to roll initiative!

Tom

Yeaaah! Woooo!

Hallie

Initiative! Woooo!

Kyle

Can I just, can I just point out for a second that I have, I designed...let me pull it up here for a second. I designed an entire fucking town. And these two lines. Are the two that you’ve spent the entire game on. 

Tom

[Uncomfortable noises]

Kyle

I made a whole goddamn town!

Tom

[Uncomfortable noises]

Emily

You’re welcome!

Tom

Do we need to explain this to our viewers?

Kyle

Yeah, we’re starting with combat! So, as you saw everyone just did, they rolled initiative. Initiative is basically roll to see the order in which everyone fights, because everyone takes turns fighting because if we tried to do it all at the same time it wouldn’t make sense. So, we’re into combat rules. Combat rules are for fightin’. As I said at the beginning, everyone rolls initiative to see the order they’re going. Then they fight. So when a player tries to attack someone, they roll a dice to see if they hit, and if they try to defend from somebody, like by swinging at them, they take a roll to defend. There are 3 types of weapons: there’s light, which are easier to hit with but do 2 damage, medium, which do 4 damage, and heavy, which you have to hold with two hands and they do 6 damage. At your turn, characters can move up to 30 feet and make an action, it can go in either order. An action is basically a big event, so it can include fighting someone, trying to talk them down, using an ability, or helping somebody else. You can also put off an action until something happens, so let’s say, uh, Xoc wanted to poke someone with his, with his glass stick, uh, Elee can say I’m gonna wait to hit someone until Xoc pokes them with his stick. And yeah, you roll and see how well you did. Combat continues until one side is either dead or gives up, uh, and then if a character rolls a 17, 18, 19, or 20, something special will happen, and I’ll explain that when it happens. Alright, so we got an order, and all of you did great and the ro-bits...oh man, like, uh, the William Turing ro-bit...William Turing ro-bit is a bad ro-bit, and it seems like him hitting you kind of just, like, shorted out everyone, so it’s gonna be a while before they start attacking. So first in the order is our good friend Xoc! Xoc, what are you gonna do?

[11:52]

Tom

Uh...

Ari

Oh, did you roll a 20?

Tom

I rolled a natural 20.

Hallie

He did.

Tom

Yes indeed.

Kyle

Yeah, the rolls are Tom 20, Hallie 19, Ari 18, Emily 6, and Kyle 2. The robots, the ro-bits are in really bad shape right now.

Tom

Amazing. So, Xoc in reaction to his sudden movement is just going to level a hand at him and say: 

Tom (as Xoc)

Get away from me! 

Tom

And cast onslaught and let’s go with effort to damage.

Kyle

Okay. So, you can use effort, uh, to do one of two things. As I’ve said, you can do it to make tasks easier, or you can do it to add more damage. How much more damage is it?

Tom

Three points.

Kyle

Okay, add three more points of damage. Now, before you do that, could you explain what onslaught is? I have it, but I want for the listeners at home.

Tom

Xoc is a Nano, which is basically a science wizard, and onslaught is basically the level 1 simple attack spell. I can either use it to fire a ray of force, um, or I can use it for a mental attack. It bypasses armor but is slightly weaker. If I had a certain type of focus, I’d be able to flavor it as a fire blast, or a lightning blast or what have you, but I just talk to machines, it’s just a ray of course.

Kyle

Alright, so you’re gonna try and hit your good friend, William Turing, that’s his name, with force.

Tom

Heart of the cards, guide me! 

[Dice roll.]

Tom

Oh, an 18! Ho-ho!

Ari

Dang!

Kyle

An 18, so the character, essentially if a character gets 16, they get to do one more…[crosstalk 13:24]

Tom

17.

Kyle

No, if a character rolls a 17, they do one more point of damage, 18 two more, 19 three more or they get to do something to kind of inconvenience the enemy, and a 20 they can do four more points of damage, or again, inconvenience the enemy. So, you do 2 more points of damage, so that’s the base damage of 4, plus 3, plus you rolled an 18, too...yeah, your good friend William Turing, that’s his name, is dead. He just, like, he doesn’t even go backwards, like, all his parts kind of like, like his head and his arms, kind of like splay out to the sides, as his torso just flies out through the open doorway. And that was the end for William Turing, your good friend, from Obsidian Bay.

Tom

Xoc will end his turn with a quiet:

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m sorry.

Ari

Misha is going to look shocked a little bit, shocked at what he did.

Tom

Ehhhhhh.

Kyle

EHHHHH. This pun will never get old. We will build, we will build our brand on this one pun.

Tom

[Laughter]

Emily

Elee’s nodding very approvingly.

Kyle

Okay, so the next turn is, uh, yeah, it’s Hallie. It is our good friend Hop Scotch. Hop Scotch! What are you gonna do?

Hallie

Uh, well Hop looks very taken aback by the fact that Xoc just, he, he killed William Turing, right?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Yeah. Alright. So, it’s just the barkeep and the two other robots, right?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Okay. I have a buzzer gun? Yes, a buzzer. I would like to fire one of my disks at the guy whose name isn’t Geoff.

Kyle

And that’s Sal, so, and that’s a light weapon so it’s gonna be a little easier to hit with. 

Hallie

Okay. And I’d like to be aiming for between the eyes if that makes any difference.

Kyle

Okay. Shoot one of those disks at our good friend Sal the Miner! 

Hallie

[Sing-song] Ba behrrrrrrr...

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

Oooooooh nat 20!

Tom

Hoo-hoo!

Kyle

Nat 20. Do you want to add more damage, or you want to cause a major effect?

Hallie

I’d like to cause a major effect, please.

Kyle

So, major effect is something really bad, so the enemy can essentially lose their turn, or yeah, it just really inconveniences the enemy. So, what do you want to do?

Hallie

I want to nail him straight between the eyes, which is where I was aiming, and then I would like him to fall backwards, preferably onto the other robot. Because they’re sitting together, right?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, so, he springs back in his chair and then flies forward, and gets his, uh, the thing lodged in Geoff’s head, so they’re now stuck together. 

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

And Geoff would take two points of damage, but he seems to have a little bit of armor, so he only takes one.

Hallie

Okay. How much damage did the one that I hit took?

Kyle

Took two, because that’s what your weapon is. 

Hallie

Oh, right.

Kyle

Alright, Misha, so you’ve got a very upset barkeep and then two miners, adult miners, adult robot minors, so technically, actually they’re less than 3 months’ young, so they’re minor robot miners?

Tom

Haha, their role in the story is minor.

Kyle

Minor minor robot miner.

Ari

Okay, position-wise, I don’t know how close I am, like which one of them is the closest to me?

Kyle

Uhm, you’re probably 10 ft away from the miners, and maybe 15 away from uh...from Coltrane.

Ari 

I want to go to one of the miners, I guess, and kind of be like:

Ari (as Misha)

I...I am very sorry about this. I know it’s not your fault. 

Ari

And then, I want to take my, you know, like, blade that I have.

Kyle 

As you say that, I’m assuming you’re going to Sal or Geoff?

Ari

Uh, Geoff.

Kyle (as Geoff)

Oh, that’s really nice of you, I appreciate that.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Ari (as Misha)

I really, I really am sorry about this.

Ari

And then grab my little thing, and I, I try to, I guess, stab them at a place where I can, like, damage their internal wires? I don’t know if there’s, like, a specific weak spot?

Kyle

Your best bet is where they’re connected, because that’s, they’ve already gotten through there because that’s where they’re connected, there’s a little opening there.

[17:23]

Ari

Okay. Yeah, I want to, I want to do that, and I’m going to use my little like dagger that Misha carries in his, in their satchel.

Kyle

Okay, that’s light, right?

Ari

Yes, alright! Heart of the dice! 

[Dice roll.]

Ari

11.

Kyle 

Okay, so you go and Geoff kind of, he’s a little taken aback, because, like he was, like:

Kyle (as Geoff)

Oh, that’s nice of you, I was having a bad day! 

Kyle

And you stab him right inside of there, and it doesn’t do extra damage, but it does avoid his armor, so he takes 2 point of damage, and he goes back and he’s like:

Kyle (as Geoff)

Ow, why are you sorry?!?

Ari (as Misha)

This is for your own good, it really is. You’ll be better this way.

Kyle

Alright. Now we’re onto Elee. Elee, what are you gonna do, who you’re gonna hit?

Emily 

Hmm. I think I’ll hit uh, Coltrane.

Kyle 

You’re gonna run up to our good friend Coltrane?

Emily

Yes.

Kyle 

Right. Coltrane is not happy to see you.

Emily

Good. So, as she approaches the barkeep, Elee is going to pull her metal folding chair off of her back, wind up and swing it as hard as she can, straight at his head.

Kyle

Alright, give me a roll!

[Dice roll.]

Emily

What did I get?

Kyle 

You rolled an 18.

[A chorus of “whoas”]

Kyle

So you go to hit on our good friend Coltrane on the head, and you hit him on the side and you see his head just spin around. It’s kind of like The Exorcist, but a lot faster and kind of funny, a little bit. Um...but now I’m gonna introduce a GM intrusion. Who do you want to give the other one, the other experience point to?

Emily

Hopper and Xoc both have a point, right?

Kyle 

Yeah, Hop and Xoc both do.

Emily

Okay, I’m gonna give it to Misha, then.

Kyle

Alright. So, you give the point to Misha, so you should be getting experience. What happens is, as Coltrane’s head spins around, you see his mouth open up, and you just see a torrent of fire start spilling out of it as he’s spinning around, so now you know very much where all the alcohol went. 

[Laughter]

Kyle

And he spins around, and he goes fast enough that he spins around twice, so you’re gonna have to do two speed defense rolls. 

Emily

I want to remind you that he is very damaged right now.

[Dice roll.]

Kyle 

First one is a 2.

Emily as Elee

2! No!

Tom

You have lots of armor, at least!

[Dice roll.]

Emily

And the second one is a 13.

Kyle

Okay, so you get nice and toasty, and I’m gonna say you have...you get nice and toasty as this fire burns all around you, but because you have four fucking armor, it only does one point of damage.

Emily (as Elee)

I am a tank.

Kyle

Okay, so Coltrane is dead, your good friend William Turing is dead, Geoff and Sal are having trouble, but as it happens you see Gus the Cowboy Shopkeep run inside…

Hallie

Nooooo.

Kyle

...and say:

Kyle (as Gus)

Howdy neighbor! I guess it’s time for you to die!

[Laughter]

Kyle

And he points both of these dual lasers directly at Xoc--

Tom

Uhhhh.

Kyle

--and you see them crackle to life with electricity, and I need you to dodge two...two taser shots.

Tom

Alright. Why don’t I, I will indeed apply a level of speed effort to this defense.

[Dice roll.]

Tom

One is a natural 20, the other is a 12.

Kyle

Okay, what’s that? You deftly dodge it, because Gus the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep, he’s not very good at shooting things. Uh...so what effect do you have as you dodge this? 

Tom

Uh…

Kyle

Also, have bad rolls for once, dammit.

Tom

Can I, like, sort of spin to the side, dodging both of the lasers, but as I spin, my staff just sort of whips around, uh, and smacks one of his lasers, either out of his hand or disarming him somehow?

Kyle

Absolutely. You smack one of these cowboy shopkeep lasers, and you see not only it, but you see part of his hand just dislocate from his arm and slide onto the ground, and you realize that the lasers were inside of him all along.

Tom (as Xoc)

The magic was inside him all along.

Kyle

Excuse me, the tasers.

Tom

The tasers, sorry, I forgot.

Kyle

The tasers, the electric energy, whatever.

Tom

The arc reactors. 

Kyle

But we still have both Geoff and Sal, are still stuck together. And they’re gonna actually work in tandem. So Sal is gonna pull out the thing, and he’s gonna take his entire turn to do that, and Geoff, who is very upset at uh, at Hop, is just gonna run back, is just gonna kind of stumble back in response and fall on top of Hop.

[22:39]

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Laughter] Oh no!

Kyle

So, Hop, I’m gonna need you to roll defense.

Tom

Which is one step easier because of your shield!

Hallie

Defense!

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

Ah, uhm, I’ve got a 4.

Tom

One step easier because of shield?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Aw, Hop. Shield? Shield? Which I had out. 

Kyle

He falls back and Hop does have his shield out. I’m gonna let it happen this time, but you should specify every other time.

Hallie

Sorry!

Kyle

Uh so, Hop actually, I’m gonna say just kind of, like, tries to dodge out of the way, and Geoff, uh, kind of slides off of it, and falls onto the ground on his back and quickly clambers back up. And yeah, that’s, that is their turn because you massacred most of them, to the degree that I had to add another one into the combat. Just kill them already. Xoc.

Tom

Alright, alright, well, since a new challenger has approached, Xoc is going to level his strong glass staff and fire off another onslaught through it. Uh, let’s spend effort to damage again.

Kyle

Alright, give me a roll!

Tom

Uh, uh, erm, a 6?

Kyle

You shoot it, and it kind of just...you try to be super cool by channeling it through your glass thing, but it seemed to have weakened it a lot and just kind of does a pathetic puff, and just kind of blows against Gus’s cowboy hat a little bit. He doesn’t even...he doesn’t even notice. Like, he’s not even bothered by it.

Tom (as Xoc)

That usually works, in case anyone’s wondering.

Kyle

This is the first time it’s happened.

Tom

Xoc has tried this before and it worked before. But Xoc is just gonna, like, back up into the room a little bit, try and put some distance between himself and, and the cowboy Gus.

Kyle

Okay. What are you gonna do, uh, Hop?

Hallie

Geoff is right next to me, right?

Kyle

Yeah, Geoff is right next to you.

Hallie

Okay. Um. I’d actually like to bash him as hard as I can with my shield. Like point...like point-blank range, like he’s just next to me. And I’m just gonna clobber him.

Kyle

Your shield is a medium weapon, right? Okay.

Hallie

Yup.

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

Oh, Hop. I got a 1. 

Tom

Oh no!

Kyle

Hop goes to bash it down, and he goes so hard on the ground that it shakes his hands and you fall down on your back, and now you, like, you kind of look like a turtle who’s been flipped over on the back of its shell.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Kyle

And you’re just kind of, like, flailing your arms up there. So you are essentially prone now.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, that was so much harder than I thought! 

Hallie

...he screams as he’s flailing on the ground.

Kyle (imitating Hopper) 

I don’t know my own strength! I’m too strong! 

Kyle

Alright, Misha, what are you gonna do to save this party?

Ari

I want Misha to run and tackle cowboy guy since, like, well, I don’t know because, both of them, like, two people are in trouble...no, I want to go and tackle Geoff.

Kyle

You want to go and tackle Geoff?

Ari

Yes. Before Geoff damages Hopper any more.

Kyle

Yeah, let me count the damage of that – it’s gonna be 2, but you’re not gonna get a bonus to it, but if you knock him over then you’re both prone on the ground.

Ari

Okay. I got a 14!

Kyle

Alright. You go to, like, jump and push Geoff to the ground, and you just kind of push right into him, like a linebacker, and just kind of stumble, and you just see, his like, torso on the ground in front of you…

Ari

Perfect.

Kyle

...and you’re just, like, oh, oh I guess he’s dead.

Ari

Oh, just his torso! Oh, okay! Oh, that is...

Kyle

Okay, so you’re standing up, you, like, trip a little bit, but you’re standing up now.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, great. Yes, this is exactly as I have planned it. Totally.

Kyle

Alright. Elee, what are you gonna do? You got Sal the Miner, Sal the minor minor robot miner, and then you’ve got Gus the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep.

Emily

So, I have opportunist?

Kyle

You already...hmm.

Emily

No one had hit him first, so now I have an extra asset.

Kyle

It’s only if you hit someone once, right?

Emily

If they’ve been hit.

Kyle

If they’ve been hit? I thought it was by you.

Emily

No, I think it’s if they’ve been hit.

Kyle

Opportunist. [Reading rules] You have an asset on any attack roll against a creature that has been attacked at some point during the round and is within...within immediate range. So, you’re right, he has been, Cowboy, Gus Cowboy Shopkeep has been attacked.

Emily

Yes. 

[Dice roll.]

Emily

5?

Kyle

5? You go to hit up a home run on this guy, and you just whiff, and your chair hits against the wall. And he turns over and looks at you, because it’s his turn now and says:

Emily

No!

Kyle (as Gus)

Howdy, neighbor! How can I help you today? 

Kyle

And he shoots, and he goes to shoot you in the face, and I need you to roll a speed defense.

Emily

I wanna put a level of effort into this.

[Dice roll.]

Kyle

Elee rolls a 2.

[A chorus of “oh no”’s]

Kyle

He goes to shoot you and electric energy courses through your body, and because you have a defense of 4, you feel fucking nothing! It’s like a goddamn tingle.

[Laughter]

Tom

The effort hurt more than the attack!

Kyle

Okay, so uh, Sal, who is still alive, turns over to Misha and says:

Kyle (as Sal)

You killed Geoff! 

Kyle

And he grabs the, the dart, and he just whips it at you. You need to roll a speed defense, are you putting any effort into it?

Ari

Yeah, I guess I’m going to roll for speed defense! Yes, I am, um, I’m putting in one effort. So, I’ve rolled an 11, so that is...

Kyle

Alright, so it flies past you and just clinks against the wall ineffectually. 

Ari

Cool.

Kyle

And those are all my enemies. So go back to kicking their asses, please.

[28:27]

Tom

Alright, let’s try this again. Uh. Let’s say with no effort on...Gus. Just an ordinary onslaught. 

[Dice roll.]

Tom

I rolled an 8.

Kyle

You rolled an 8. You go to shoot and Gus, the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep, uh, kind of gets blown back a couple of steps but he doesn’t seem to be damaged at all by it. Hop, what are you gonna do?

Hallie

Alright. Geoff is dead, right?

Kyle

Uhm, yeah, Geoff is very dead.

Hallie

Cool beans. Alright, I’m gonna get up off the floor and dust myself off. Do like a nod to Misha, like yeah, good work, like that didn’t just happen, I wasn’t just on the ground, reverberating like a cartoon. Um. And then Sal is near, how far away is Sal from me?

Kyle

Sal is like...he’s like 5 feet.

Hallie

Okay. I would like to look at my shield, consider that I just did something that was bad and that was like so much stronger than I thought it was, but I’m gonna do it again anyway, but I’m gonna, like, throw it at him this time, like Captain America style.

Kyle

Captain America throws his mighty shield!

Hallie

Yes!

Tom 

All those who oppose his mighty shield must yield!

Hallie

Here I go! 

[Dice roll.]

Hallie 

Oh, it fell, hold on, gotta re-roll it.

[Dice roll.]

Hallie

[Laughter] I rolled another 1. 

Ari

Oh no! Hopper!

Kyle

[Sing-song] As Captain America throws his mighty shield! His shield bounces against the wall and flies back in his face, and he takes 4 points of damage. From his own shield!

Hallie

Does it help that I have armor at all even though it hit me in the face?

Ari

But you don’t have armor on the face!

Hallie

I have a leather jerkin. That’s it.

Kyle

That’ll do, that’ll--yeah, that’ll do. If your armor just applies, like take whatever I tell you and minimize it, unless I reference your armor. 

Hallie

Okay. Is a leather jerkin minus one? 

Kyle

One, so you take 3 points of damage. From your shield. That you threw. Against the wall.

Hallie (as Hopper)

OW.

Kyle

I’m assuming that you tried to do it, like, you didn’t just throw it at Sal, you tried to be a cool dude and bounce it off the wall.

Hallie

Yeah. I was really trying for it, I was, like, wow, this thing is stronger than I thought, I’m gonna roll with this, but Hop--I was so excited to use this shield, too!

Tom

I would like to note that our most significant wound thus far has been self-inflicted. 

[Laughter]

Ari

So, Misha, in response to Sal’s comment, uh, they are going to, uh, basically, also grab and tackle Sal as they did with Geoff, and as they do, say: 

Ari (as Misha)

I can’t...I can’t have killed something that wasn’t truly alive in the first place.

Tom

Ohhhh.

Ari

And attack.

Hallie

Cold. 

Kyle

Ohhh. Give me a roll!

Ari

Oh, 20!

Hallie

Ay!

Kyle

Do you want to do a major effect, or do you want to do extra damage?

Ari

I want to do a major effect.

Kyle

Alright, what’s your major effect? Because he’s...Sal is already on the ground now.

Ari

Oh, okay, I didn’t know that Sal was already on the ground, as I tackled. Uhm, then can I, um, as I go and jump on top of there, and also, like, chop a little of, like, of whatever connected wires she had with my little knifey thing?

Kyle

So, you want to do more damage?

Ari

Yeah, I guess so, but like I want to do it specifically disconnecting someone for certainty.

Kyle

Okay. You see...you go down and just land on top of Sal, and you dig straight into his head, where that uh...where the gash was from the hole, and you just, it would be a really grisly scene if this was a human, because just oil and wires, just spill outside of Sal’s head as the gash widens. And you just hear Sal go:

Kyle (as Sal)

Hey, that’s not fairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 

Ari

Excellent.

[32:38]

Kyle

And Sal is, and Sal is...not dead, but definitely not functioning. As that happens, you feel, um, you hear a bunch of bolts of electricity fire throughout the top of the, uh, of the roof, like, electricity is just being shot like, you know, someone’s firing in the air with two guns, except they’re doing it with one, and you hear Gus the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep say:

Kyle (as Gus)

Alright neighbor, we’ll help you see Marshal.

[Sci-fi atmospheric music.]

Kyle

And with that, you see the black tiles that have been littered on the floor, they kind of just, like, almost magnetically slide together, and you see them form what looks to be a pathway leading out of the bar and through the town. And Gus the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep just points to it and says:

Kyle (as Gus)

Follow the path, neighbor.

Ari

Misha just wants to reply:

Ari (as Misha)

I am not your neighbor.

[Outro music.]

Kyle

Hey everybody, this is Kyle, the GM. Thank you so much for listening to episode 3 of Quest Friends. As you can see, this one was a little bit shorter, uh, and that’s because the next episode is gonna be the finale of Chapter 1: Turingtown, and the players and I all decided that it would be best if we kept that finale as one complete package. So this one’s a little bit shorter, that one’s gonna be a little bit longer, and then the episode after that, which will be the first episode of the next chapter, is gonna be a lot longer, just because that was kind of how the pacing went. Everyone was really on their A-game for those two episodes, so I’m really excited to share the next two with you. Some housekeeping stuff to take care of: the intro and outro songs are “Friends” and “Hitoshio,” both by MiracleofSound. Any other music I use you can find in the description below. This week, however, I really want to focus on a special song I used, just because I got it for completely free, and it was a pretty good song by a guy who doesn’t really have many eyes on him. So the song that I used when your friend William Turing was kind of freaking out and turning into Marshal was called Emergence (34:47) by Ben Hanson. The music he does is absolutely free, all he requests is, you know, that people contribute to his patreon as you can, and after about 4-year break, his most recent song was released a week ago, so it looks like he’s really trying to get back into things. And so I would recommend giving him a look, it’s completely royalty-free music, it’s pretty good, you can use it in your projects and you can chip in a buck or two if you want. Other than that, a reminder that you can follow us on both Podbean and iTunes, and you can also follow us on Quest_Friends at twitter.com. That is Quest_Friends, don’t just do QuestFriends, because then you’ll get some improv show in Canada. I mean, unless you’re in Canada, in which case, I mean, check it out, you know, great minds think alike, and...and that sort of thing. That’s really all the announcements I have for you right now, our next episode will be out on Monday, November 6th. See you then!