Ep. 46: Crime and Courtship, Part 11

Kyle

Hey everyone, this is Kyle. Just before we start, I want to let you know that we lost about half of Hallie's audio, so, um, we're using a backup for the first half of this episode. So if there's a weird kind of dip in quality and then a spike later on, that's what happened. A similar thing, you'll notice, will also have happened for Ari's audio next episode, which I'm mentioning now, just so you only need one announcement. Anyways, let's get on with the show!

Previously on Quest Friends. 

[Driving rock music begins to play.]

Kyle (as Sera)

There's this trivia thing and I just, I need help. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Yeah! 

Kyle

Cecilos gets up, and he walks the table that's been having the most success. And before he goes back to his seat, he takes out a pebble, a small little marble-sized shape, which Jebediah grabs in his flipper.

Ari

Back in Roulettia, this nice guy had this really cool cane that he just gave Misha.

Kyle (as the nice man)

Sign and take my cane!

Kyle

And you see him hold up a thin black cane with a glass dome at its tip, and images drawn on the glass flutter like wings of a butterfly.  

Ari

They're gonna put it on L'Adrien's mailbox.

Kyle

So Misha goes...

Ari

[Crosstalking.] Saying...

Kyle

Sticks it in. 

Ari

[Crosstalking.] With a letter, hang on! Let me put a note!

Ari (as Misha)

See you at Nano Fight Club tonight.

[The music intensifies.]

Kyle

You'd think that for an underground fighting ring, Nano Fight Club would try to stay under the radar. You would be wrong. As you enter Qi's courtyard, the sky fills up with beating multicolored lines of laser light, all reflecting off of center statues of the Council of Spheres. The air smells of sweat and popcorn, and Darude's Teacup, an artifact that holds an infinitely looping copy of Darude's Sandstorm, is blasting at full volume. 

[The music fades.]

It's a full on rave.

Kyle (as VIRGULE) 

[Gentle chiming.]

NIGHT! Day two. 

Kyle

[Gentler, soothing elevator music begins to play.]

Before we get to there, I'm kind of curious. What did folks do to prepare, and is there anyone that you in character invited here, or anyone out of character you want to make sure is here? 

A couple of things I wanted to mention: one, that last we saw Sunny, she was inside the little orb that Misha was holding in their pocket. So I'm curious what you did with Sunny. Are you still holding on to her, what's happening there? And then finally, a reminder that Xoc had promised Elee he, uh, would not leave Everett alone. And he has been doing very poorly with that promise this far.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Tom

[Indignant.] Okay. All right. All right. Hold on a second. 

Ari

[Crosstalking.] I guess—

Tom

[Crosstalking.] Hold on a second! We are struggling to fit in...

Ari

[Noise of agreement.] 

Tom

[Crosstalking.] All of the fucking plot points this arc. 

Ari

Yeah!

Tom

And, I, one or two sessions ago, you're like, oh, by the way, don't worry. It's okay. Jesse and Everett will be fine. You don't have to fix their problems for them. Two sessions later, oh man, look at Xoc! Not not keeping his promise to watch after Everett! The game will remember this!

Kyle

That's why—honestly, it was my bad, because I would have reminded you last...

Tom

[Crosstalking.] We're in fucking Telltale world now!

Kyle

I would have, I would have reminded you last session that you had made that promise, so Everett would just be hanging around in the scene, which is what he's gonna do now. He's gonna go find a corner and just mope. 

Tom

[Sullenly.] Okay.

Kyle

[The music fades.]

But you invited him, which is the important thing. What did everyone else do? What did you do in prep for Nano Fight Club? 

Tom

Well, I mean Xoc will invite Ness also. 

Hallie

I—Xoc doesn't need to invite Ness. Ness is just going.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Tom

[Pouting a little.] Okay. 

Kyle

Ness invited Xoc in his mind.

Tom

Wow.

Hallie

Basically! Because Ness was like, 

Hallie (as Ness)

[Excitedly.] Oh, boy! Nano Fight Club, that sounds like the most exciting thing that's happened on this ship since you took me here 84 years ago. 

Tom

How fucking dare you, Ness. 

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Tom

How fucking dare you!

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie (as Ness)

It's been 84 years! Been stuck on this boat. 

Kyle

[Through laughter.] What—what else did we do to prep? 

Emily

Well, I...I would like for Soe and Meeghan to be getting out and having fun, but they also don't have to be. That's just something that popped into my head. 

Kyle

Soe's hair is immediately—whatever you imagine rave hair is, uh, is what Soe's hair is like.

Emily

It looks like all of my sister's hair styles. 

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] At once.

Emily

Since high school. 

Kyle

Yes.

Emily

[Through laughter.] She doesn't listen to this podcast, so it's okay.

Kyle

Okay. So...

Emily

[Crosstalking.] Um...

Kyle

Soe and Meeghan are there.

Emily

The other thing I wanted to do would be, I wanted to invite someone.

Kyle

Did you want to invite, Elee? 

Emily

I wanted to invite Rei.

Kyle

Okay, this one we can play out as a scene. 

Kyle (as Rei)

No!

[A door slams.]

Kyle

Okay, uh, Misha and Hop, what did you do to prepare?

Emily

[Pained noise.]

Ari

[Laughing over Emily's pained noise.] Misha would have, like, they don't really know what a Nano Fight 

[00:05:00] 

Club necessarily entails? So they would look that up in the data sphere. Then I also want them to like, practice some, like, sick moves with this, with their scarf, like turning around, like, and like, doing cool stuff if they have to show up in this club and do cool maneuvers.

Kyle

[Mysterious music with a gently shaking maraca beat begins to play.]

Ah, Soe knocks on your door and opens it up, and they just see Misha hanging from the ceiling of their room dangling by their scarf.

Emily

No!

Kyle

In the middle of some, uh, some maneuver. 

Ari (as Misha)

Salutations, Soe! I am preparing here for the Nano Fight Club.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

And they're doing fantastically!

Kyle

Sunny pipes in, ah, because Sunny, who you had been with when you talked to the Blue Fairy...

Ari

[Crosstalking.] Ah, yeah.

Kyle

Is stratic life. And because of that, said that she could give you a couple of pointers, a couple of one-twos.

Ari

Nice.

Kyle

On how to fight and how to get things together. 

Ari (as Misha)

[The music fades.]

Oh, yes, Sunny has been also quite useful in training me for the fight club. 

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Soe)

Oh Sunny, I haven't met her before! She must be a new friend of yours, just like Meeghan's a new friend of mine!

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! Oh, I do apologize. I sure should introduce you to Sunny. 

Ari

And then they will take the, I forget what thing it is Sunny is in like a...

Kyle

It's like a little key. 

Ari

Yeah, so they will take the key and say, 

Ari (as Misha)

Ah, Sunny leaves currently within this key. Sunny, this is Soe. She is a really nice companion friend. 

Kyle

[Makes a breathy, ghostly 'ooowoooo' noise.] This is how I get her voice. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

It is a pleasure to meet you Soe! And Soe's best friend. The threads there are miraculous.

Kyle

And she points to the connection between Meeghan and Soe.

Hallie

Now that's suspicious. 

Kyle

[Laughter.]

All right, so you had off I'm assuming you keep, you keep Sunny, Sunny with you. 

Ari

Yeah. 

Kyle

All right, Sunny's hanging out there. And then Hopper. 

Hallie

Yeah. 

Kyle

What are you doing to prep? 

Hallie

Well, he, well—on the way out of Nano Fight Club, he'd be like...

Tom

[Crosstalking.] Out of trivia.

Hallie

On the way out of trivia to Nano Fight Club. He'd be like, I...what was it called, like, the Great Acute Exodus or something?

Kyle

The Great Angle Exodus of the Seventh World.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Mostly to himself.] The Great Angle Exodus, that doesn't...

[Louder, to Sera.] I...I'm really sorry that we lost, I know you wanted to get a gift for your mom. But I've never heard of that thing!

Hallie

And then as a way of apology be like, 

Hallie (as Hopper)  

Uh, look, if you're not doing anything, I'm on my way to Nano Fight Club. We could talk about replacement gift for your mom. I know that you're kind of in the eleventh hour here, but we could think of something since we didn't win the trivia prize. 

Kyle (as Sera)

Yeah. No, that'd be great. I really need to punch something right now. 

Kyle

And then you would imagine we just like, take the camera out to the outside of the Prodigious, which vibrates as we hear Sera say, 

Kyle (as Sera)

What do you mean it's only esoteries!

Kyle

All right, so you have all made it to Nano Fight Club. You're in this area. Some things of note: Misha, you know that L'Adrien is here somewhere. You also can sense immediately this is like the most nanos you've ever been around in your whole life. The amount of stratic life here, the amount of nanos and esoteries, the data sphere power. Well, it's intoxicating. 

There are a few points where there are people without nano abilities. For example, you see sitting in a corner a mustachioed man who as soon as he sees you undoes his mustache, waves, and puts it on back again. It's just Cecilos' way of saying hello at this point. As you come in, you see that the announcer...

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

For Nano Fight Club is only the most popular person in the school!

Kyle

So Sir Kentrim is sitting there, and he seems to be the announcer for the fights.

So what do y'all do? 

Ari

[Mischievous, upbeat music begins to play—it has the energy of someone about to do something they know they shouldn't.]

[With increasing delight.] So there's a thing, but I don't know how OP it is because you have given me this power that you don't know you have given me. But if I break the arc because you gave me Sunny, and she can see bonds, and I have Sunny with me. So if you allow me to approach, say, Cecilos and-or other people that are there ad see what bonds they connect to, I could see if there's anybody that is connected to the whole ship and solve the mystery.

Kyle

[A little sarcastically.] Yeah, go ahead! Who you gunning for.

Ari

Well, if I see Cecilos, might as well just go there.

Kyle

Ari, you're gonna make your way over to Cecilos, and Hop, you're going to notice that Misha is making their way towards Cecilos. And Misha, what are you gonna do?

Ari

Um, if Cecilos is distracted, I just want to like, talk to Sunny and ask her which bonds she can see out of this person, kind of sneakily. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Ohh...well, it's, it's a bit difficult to see the threads. There are just so many here! But I will see that that Cecilos, he has a pair of very strong connections off of this ship. Ohh...and he seems to be paired very closely to four people on this ship as well. 

[The mischievous music fades.] 

Congratulations on your new friend! 

[00:10:00]

[Laughter from the party.]

Ari

All right, um, then, I mean, I don't have any gifts. I guess if, if Cecilos doesn't see Misha, Misha is not going to acknowledge him. But if Cecilos does Misha is going to say hello. 

Kyle

[Jazzy heist music begins to play.]

Ah, he's gonna wave at you and you're gonna wave at him, and for the sake of time that's all you're going to interact. But Hop, you're going to notice something peculiar. You're going to notice as Misha turns their back and starts walking to the rest of the crowds, you had noticed, and I'm assuming you would kind of kept an eye on Cecilos, because you've been I think the most suspicious of him. And you notice that he turns around and he, ah, goes and talks to a figure. A large, walrus-shaped figure. 

And Jebediah Ishmael, while through their hushed conversation, just hands Cecilos two things. He hands Cecilos a small pebble, maybe the size of a marble, and he hands Cecilos a little gift box. And then Cecilos takes it, shakes the fin, shakes the flipper, and both of them walk and they actually both who leave the courtyard.

[The music fades.]

Tom

That could be completely innocuous gift-giving. We have no way of knowing for sure.

Ari

Right.

Hallie

Not yet! Not yet. Okay. Well, for now Hopper will kind of narrow his eyes and make a note to follow up on that later, which he will. But for now he's with Sera and he's there to support Xoc and Misha. 

Kyle

Yeah, is it assumed that you—Xoc and Misha, is it, does everyone just assume you two are gonna fight?

Hallie

Yeah, wait, what are the invitations there.

Kyle

You were just going to go to this because it seems like a suspicious event with suspicious people. I don't know what your plans are. 

Hallie

I don't know. I guess...

Ari

[Crosstalking.] Well, I didn't know exactly what...I, I assumed that they expected us to do it?

Kyle

I mean, L'Adrien clearly wants you to.

Tom

Xoc has no expectations going into this. Honestly Xoc, uh, feels a little intimidated by the overwhelming number of nanos here. Xoc has never been in a specific nano-related gathering before, and doesn't really know what to do. They're just sort of like, being that awkward person who hangs around in the corner of a party not talking to anyone, taking comfort from their mental bond with Misha and looking around for the other people they know. I mean, they invited Jesse and Everett, but it's unclear if Jesse and Everett will stick with him because it's chaotic, and also they are going through some shit. 

Kyle

Yeah, Everett is hiding and Jesse is actually raving, so those two aren't around, but you do have one friend. You do have one friend who's been sticking around with you!

Tom

Is it Ness?

Hallie

It's Ness. 

[Playful accordion music begins to play.] 

And as it's happening, he's just watching. He's enjoying. He's doing that thing where you rock slightly back and forth on your feet? Just rocking, just watching. 

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whispering.] Do you know what we're supposed to be doing here? 

Tom

And this is mental link by the way.

Hallie

Ness...

Tom (as Xoc)

[Crosstalking.] You just seem very worldly.

Hallie

Ness hits the side of his head. He's like,

Hallie (as Ness)

Ah, I'm getting a headache. Sorry. What do you want to know?

Tom (as Xoc)

 I don't really know what I'm meant to do. 

Hallie

Is that out loud or...

Tom

That's still mental link.

Hallie (as Ness)

God, ah, it's just—hurts! You'd think a robot couldn't get headaches, but life will surprise you sometimes. 

Tom (as Xoc)

[Frustrated groan.]

Tom

Out loud, Xoc will say, 

Tom (as Xoc)

[Loudly, a little annoyed.] Do you know what we do at this thing?

Hallie (as Ness)

[After a beat.] Why would I know what we do at this thing? 

Tom (as Xoc)

Aaugh!

Tom

Xoc'll just sort of like, not quite throw up his hands but like...

Hallie (as Ness)

I assume that you fight other nanos. Are you gonna fight other nanos? Because that would be pretty sick. 

Tom (as Xoc)

I—but why do we..what...why would we fight? I don't really want to hurt anyone. 

Hallie

[The music fades.]

Ness is making that exact expression that the listeners can't see, but one of like, what a nerd. And so Ness'll go,

Hallie (as Ness)

[Exasperated noise.] Don't be such a doorknob.

Tom

What the fuck. 

Hallie (as Ness)

Come on!

Tom

[Laughter.] What the fuck. 

Hallie

I have a whole list of these random insults I made up. More will be coming. 

Hallie (as Ness)

You're such a doorknob. This is supposed to be fun! You know? Aren't you like, aren't you a wizard? That's how you introduced yourself to me.

Tom (as Xoc)

I, uh...I...yeah, I guess. I just, I....I'm not...I'm not used to crowds.

Hallie (as Ness)

Then why are you here?

Tom (as Xoc)

[Sheepishly.] Well, we're trying to figure out what's going on. We have to find the Jagged Dream leader. And do stuff. And also Misha was invited. 

Hallie (as Ness)

[Ness' tone of voice sounds like he's rolling his eyes.] Oh.

Hallie

Then adopts a look of like, that explains it. 

Tom

Wow. 

Hallie

Actually, he'll just say, 

Hallie (as Ness)

Oh. That explains it. 

Tom

Wow.

Hallie

And he'll turn back to survey the crowd.

Kyle

Inside of the crowd is Elee Badge. So Elee, you invited Rei, who didn't come. 

Emily

[Wryly.] Went real well for me.

Kyle

And then you invited your daughter and her best friend who are off doing whatever.

Tom

Teen stuff. 

Emily

I...I didn't want to invite them, I wanted it to be one of those things where they were just there, because like, I want them to...specifically my baby, I want her to be like, having fun and interacting with people and branching out.

Tom

Get those good memories in before her best friend betrays her. 

Emily

Yeah, make new friends because...

Tom

[Crosstalking.] One of our top suspects maybe is not a suspect anymore. 

Kyle

Cool. That's good, because 

[00:15:00] 

Elee is absolutely at the bar by herself right now. 

Emily

[Faintly.] Yeah. 

Kyle

So what's Elee up to?

Emily

So my...my first instinct is to just, that she's just getting drunk. But like, there are chillens, and..ghhh. I'm a little stumped, and I think it's because emotionally, as Emily...can you like, help? 

Kyle

Oh, yeah, I'll...you know what? I'll help. In fact. 

[The whimsical, mischievous music begins to play again.]

Emily

[With dawning horror.] Oh, no. No, 

Kyle

I'll give a GM—

Emily

I regret this. 

Kyle

I'll give a GM intrusion free of charge so no, no XP needed—

Emily

[Crosstalking.] No! No, no, actually...

Kyle

Because after all, I'm helping you out.

Emily

Actually, well, actually, you know, I...

Kyle

So.

Emily

I actually think that—

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] No.

Emily

Maybe you could still give me the XP.

Kyle

You know, it's really not that much of an intrusion, because I'm just giving you what you want. So you're sitting there and then you eventually hear, 

Kyle (as Rei)

[Clears her throat.] So I was thinking, and I was wondering how much of this invitation to this event was social and how much of it was for getting our job done.

Kyle

And to your left, you see, uh, Rei, holding a glass of wine in each hand. 

Emily (as Elee)

Well...if I’m being brutally honest with myself, there's a large part of it that was probably kind of so-social, um, but there are genuine aspects of clue-finding to be had here. It, a lot of people are here. And, and, and so...uh, suspects are everywhere and you know, we're…

[The music fades.]

We've got a lot of people looking out for different suspects. And so another person being here helping out would be really great, just to, you know, be able to spread the net wider, you know, but I, uh, now, now that you're here, maybe like, just for, ah, for a couple minutes, if you want...wanted to, we could condense this...these two parts of the net right here, for just a minute. If you wanted. 

Kyle (as Rei)

Ah, well. If that's what you want.

Kyle

And she grabs one of the pieces of wine. 

Emily

[Whispering.]

Pieces of wine.

Kyle

She grabs one of the glasses of wine, the one closer to you. She moves it over to ah, you as if giving it to you, then lifts it up, downs it all in one gulp, turns over with a kind of mean smile and says, 

Kyle (as Rei)

Well if that's What you're interested in, then you should probably actually go be social.

Kyle

And she walks away into the crowd with the other glass of wine. 

Hallie

Wow. 

Tom

[Taken aback.] What the fuck is this!

Hallie

Wow!

Emily

I'm gonna follow her!

Kyle

[Amused.] We're gonna actually, I'm going to move on. That's the end of that scene. 

Emily

No I wanna—I don't want to get mad at Rei! Gosh darn it.

Kyle

I'm sorry. 

Emily

Fine.

Kyle

We don't have time. All right. So you're making your way around, you're kind of investigating, and Misha, after a little bit you actually see the person who invited you. You go and you see L'Adrien, who is prepping with some of the other contestants of Nano Fight Club in an area right next to the stage. 

And in fact, yeah, L'Adrien for the first time seems a little less put together than he normally does. They actually are holding a little piece of paper—an envelope they keep looking at, and then just keep pacing a little bit more. And they have a cane. Not the cane you gave them.

Ari

Aw.

Kyle

Instead of an extravagant butterfly cane, it's a simple cane with a fashionable black handle, and they're just kind of angrily, ah, setting it on the ground as they're just fidgeting with this letter, which they try to put back in their pocket, but it falls to the ground. 

Ari

I guess—I guess uh, Misha will...well, first they will ask Sunny, 

Ari (as Misha)

Do any of those threads seem to connect with the ship itself?

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Oooh, I can't, I can't really say for sure dear. 

Kyle

[Wryly.] Fuck you! No, no, you got one!

Ari

[Crosstalking.] You gave me—you gave me—

Kyle

You got one!

Ari

You gave me!

Tom

[As Sunny, a little mockingly.] Ohh, woo, can't say for sure!

Ari

This weapon, Kyle!

Kyle

You get one!

Ari

I have it! I have this weapon. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

But again, I'm not used to using my abilities by myself. So they're not really fully formed. I can only really see particularly strong threads.

Tom

[Frustrated.] Need to fucking Parent Trap! Follow the goddamn quest line if you want to solve the plot. 

Ari (as Misha)

Ah...well, it was worth a shot. Thank you Sunny. If you see something strange or other bonds that may connect to the ship from other individuals, please let me know. 

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Ari

I know she won't but Misha will say that anyways.

Tom

[Laughter.]

Ari

Okay, Misha will approach L'Adrien and say,

Ari (as Misha)

Salutations L'Adrien 

[00:20:00] 

with an apostrophe. I have come here as you told me to. Ah, I do happen to notice that you may not have received the gift that I sent you earlier today. 

Tom

Fucking shade! 

Kyle

L'Adrien is going to be perfectly honest with you, because again, you've got five stars. You're pals with L'Adrien. L'Adrien is going to turn to you and say,

Kyle (as L’Adrien)

[A little distracted.] Oh, yes, I really very thoroughly appreciated that gift. And don't worry it will—[More firmly.] It will...

Kyle

And he looks down, and, and as he says it will with more emphasis, his hand crumples on the letter a little bit.

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

Be put to good use. 

Ari (as Misha)

Hmm. Okay.

Ari

Am...or, no. Misha will say,

Ari (as Misha)

Huh...good use. Interesting. Did you bring it here? 

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

Yes, I did. But I must keep it hidden if my true plan is to come into fruition. 

Ari (as Misha)

Hmm. May I ask what that plan might be?

Ari

And if—if!—if they are hesitant about it, I...ah, I, okay. Yes. I want to see what he says. And I have a Plan B.

Kyle

He's gonna look to the left, look to the right. 

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

Well, I think it's time that I made my true identity clear. 

Ari

[Dryly.] Ah, it's gonna be Vespari.

Kyle

[Startled.] What? 

Ari

No, okay. I was gonna ask—I didn't know if it was like, Vespari in disguise. Like, my true identity! 

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Ari

And like a, like disguise, like, it is me!

Kyle

Well, they're not gonna do it right now if that's the case. 

Ari

Well, okay. Since, since he's being so vague, Misha...well, I have my my keyblade.

Emily

[Startled.] You're just going to stab them!

Ari

It doesn't say that it stabs them, it's a keyblade. All right. I'm going to say, 

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I also do have a, uh, sort of cane that I brought and would like to show it to you.

Emily

Ohh!

Ari (as Misha)

But...

Ari

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

Ah, I would like to show it to you. 

Emily

GM intrusion! 

Ari (as Misha)

It will maybe help me understand better what your vague words mean. 

Ari

And so I want to basically, like, point the keyblade into their direction. 

Emily

Ohh!

Ari

And see if I can reveal their inner, innermost desire, which I assume it had, it would have to do with whatever plan this is. It says unlocks the heart of its target, revealing their innermost desire. It's a dull, thin sword with a sphere at the tip, but I’m assuming if it's a keyblade that I'm not gonna like...

[Hesitantly.] Kill him, right? It's just a...keyblade. 

Kyle

So, I'm not gonna have you roll because you're five hearts. 

[Gentle tinkling music begins to play.] 

So you'll get away with this. Normally you wouldn't. It's going to point to the heart, and you're going to hear whispers reverberate up through the sword, up your arm, and into your brain. [A soft wooshing sound plays over the music.] You're gonna hear multiple whispers, and eventually through the whispers you hear a few statements.

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

[The words echo, with a similar effect to singing in a round.] I want...I want to be colorful. Villains are the most colorful thing of all. I want to be...a villain.

Ari

[Unsure.] Hm.

Kyle

And as that happens, you hear a...

[Two sharp claps.] 

A double clap, and the lights dim, and L'Adrien says,

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

Well it has been a pleasure to talk with you Misha. I feel a new profound resolve after you pointed that weapon in my direction, as if some hero would point at an archnemesis. Thank you so much.

Kyle

And, uh, he scurries off, and as he does you notice that the paper which they tried to fit in their pocket flutters out. 

Ari

Ah, yes! I grab it 

Kyle

And lands at the ground at your feet.

Ari

I grab it, I grab it! I want to see it! I just didn't have a good way of just asking for it. [Excitedly.] What does it say? 

Kyle

We'll get to that...

Tom

[Laughter.]

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] Next time.

Ari

I want to say that we all came here in theory to gather clues. Hopper has been romancing Sera. Elee has attempted to romance Rei—

Emily

[Crosstalking, through laughter.] Wow!

Ari

And Xoc has just been freaking out in the background, and the only one that has done clue-searching is Misha! Again!

Tom

Misha's on fucking point at all times basically.

Ari

I didn't intend this. I find it funny!

Kyle

You all—

[Laughter.]

You all will get very distracted though, because after the clapping, the lights dim, and you start to hear music, because it's wrestling. 

[A hard rock song heavy on the guitar begins to play.] 

So like, you know, wrestling music. And one of the curtains, the one away from the side Misha's on, bursts open, and a flash of silver dust reflects into the arena's light just so, that it creates a cloud of pulsating technicolor light which fades to reveal a ten foot tall man wearing a giant star-studded cape and a long plague doctor mask. 

Ari

[Faintly.] How is he so tall?

Kyle

He bends and moves in the way that his arms and legs are springing him forward in a particularly bouncy swagger, and then you hear the clicks. As this figure strides 

[00:25:00] 

forward, you notice that his footsteps spark like flint on steel, releasing even more silver dust that rises up and orbits his body in a celestial ring. And the announcer says,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Presenting the reigning champion of Nano Fight Club. Dr. Silversteel, Conqueror of the Cosmos!

Tom

[The music stops abruptly.]

I'm sorry what? I'm sorry. What now?

Kyle

Yeah, 'cause Xoc, this might be called Dr. Silversteel, Conqueror of the Cosmos. But okay, who's up there? Who is that? 

Tom

Yeah, uh, that's Vespari's costume.

Kyle

And he is moving...

[Lumbering accordion music begins to play.] 

Like, when you first met him, it looked like his body was kind of buckling under the weight of his legs, but he is springing, he's moving around, he's doing like, finger guns to like—half the crowd treats this character like a hero. They're like, oh, yeah! The other half are like, booo. Like, you know how you have heroes and villains in wrestling, and Vespari is just eating this up. He's just like, loving it. He's working it. 

He shoots out a couple, of, uh, a couple of times he like, clicks his heels, and a shot of like, a spark. So like of lightning and fire all at the same time just shoot up in the air like impromptu fireworks, moving off of the silver dust that he's shooting around. And he's just posing and moving and just, you imagine he has a massive underneath that mask. He is owning it. 

Hallie (as Ness)

He looks cool. 

Tom (as Xoc)

He's—he, he's not that cool.

Hallie (as Ness)

[Suspiciously.] How do you know?

Tom (as Xoc)

[Sullenly.] I've faced him before.

Hallie (as Ness)

What do you mean you faced him?

Tom (as Xoc)

We tangled back in Roulettia. 

Hallie (as Ness)

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, a second ago you were like, [Mocking Xoc's voice.] I don't want to fight. 

And now you're like, yeah, I've tangled with Captain Silversteel over there. What? 

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, he calls, he calls himself the Great Vespari.

Hallie (as Ness)

Uh, not according to what is happening now.

Tom (as Xoc)

You know what...

Tom

And Xoc doesn't have a response to that, but he's, uh, he's gonna move closer in the crowd like, get, get up near the, the, the stage or the raised plat...whatever it is. I'm imagining like the Harry Potter dueling plank. It's like a narrow...

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] Yeah.

Tom

Catwalk that's like raised above...

Kyle

It's basically that but with LEDs.

Hallie

Ness happily follows and, in fact, will grab onto Xoc's robe and go, 

Hallie (as Ness)

Slow down, God, just, let me—here, what if I just—let me, let me—

Hallie

And while he's saying that, he's clamboring up Xoc's robes onto...

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] Ohh!

Hallie

Onto his shoulder and goes,

Hallie (as Ness)

I can't see anything. I have to be able to see.

Kyle

Ohhh!

Ari

Can I have Misha be Captain Obvious and reach mentally to Xoc, and be like, 

Ari (as Misha)

Xoc, even though they call this man Captain Silverstein, I am with a 99.9% certainty, this is indeed Vespari in a different name, as he has the same costume and height and physical build as Vespari.

Tom (as Xoc)

I agree with that assessment Misha Jarvis. [Indignant.] I don't know what he's even doing here. I thought he didn't like being a real nano. 

Ari (as Misha)

I am also really curious. Maybe he will pretend he is not a nano, or maybe this is why he is using a different name.

Tom (as Xoc)

Hmm.

Kyle

As you say, that some lightning shoots out again and you hear a muffled voice just say,

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

I am the galaxy's most powerful nano!

Tom (as Xoc)

[Exasperated sigh.]

Ari

[Through laughter.] I imagine that sigh comes through the mental link.

Tom

Yeah, yeah, it's in the mental link and out loud simultaneously. 

Kyle

Also, I'll probably cut this part. It's, it's not Captain, uh, Silverstein. It's, uh, Dr. Silversteel, Conqueror of the Cosmos. But the second you said Captain Silverstein I just imagined a fighter based on the children's book author Shel Silverstein.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie

[Crosstalking.] Ness—

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] And I can't get over that idea.

Hallie

Didn't care about getting his name right, it's fine.

Kyle

I'm gonna kick your face, uh, I'm gonna knock your teeth into the...wherever the sidewalk ends. I don't know. I can't think of good lines, but it could be fun. Anyways, I just was really tickled by that idea. 

Tom

All right. Xoc is gonna have a moment of indecision. 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Is there anyone out there who's tough enough to challenge the Conqueror of the Cosmos!

Tom

[Sighs.] Xoc will farstep up to the...

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

[Crosstalking.] Rhetorical question! There already is.

Tom

Ehh?

Kyle

And you hear a— 

[Thumping noise like heavy curtains flying back.]

And with a dramatic swish, the curtains on the other side of the stage open up, but your eyes might not have noticed this, as the shadow behind them is just as opaque as the curtains that were there moments before. But then, accompanied by a measured click, click, click of his shoes, L'Adrien makes his way out onto the stage. 

[Eerie, haunting music begins to play.]

And as they continue to walk, you notice something peculiar L'Adrien's sweater vest, so drab and refined, bit by bit fades away to reveal a glistening purple suit with spikes on each shoulder. Their hair, which had been gently placed strand by strand in the most appealing position, now sways independently in the open 

[00:30:00] 

air. And their cane—the one Misha had given them—reveals with a slam on the stage, its true form, complete with a single butterfly on its handle. 

Like a snake, L'Adrien sheds their outer layer and reveals the inner self that had always been there. The one they had simply been masking with their illusion magic. And then, and only then, when their true villainy has been revealed, L'Adrien starts to dance.

Cole Burkhardt (as L'adrien, singing)

[An uptempo techno song in a minor key begins to play.]

Now you'll see 

The truest villainy!

Darkness, no—

Evil's all rainbows!

Color!

A little bit of color!

A dash, a splash, a long monologue—

That end with that raw wicked laughter!

[L'Adrien delivers a devilish laugh as the music fades.]

Kyle

Hello, and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends Episode 46, Crime and Courtship, Part 11. I am Kyle, your GM, and our intro and outro music are "Friends" and "Hitoshio," both by Miracle of Sound. In addition, our main announcement today is crediting the song that you just heard! L'Adrien's song, A Little Bit of Color, with instrumentals written by me, but more importantly, with vocals performed by Cole Burkhardt! 

Cole is involved in a heck of a lot of podcasts in a heck of a lot of ways. They sing for Quest Friends, just right now you heard that part, but if you want to find the other things Cole is involved in, you can find them at ColeBurkhart.C-A-R-R-D.co [Card with two Rs.] Again. That's ColeBurkhardt.C-A-R-R-D.co.

Additionally, if you would like a singing role inside of Quest Friends, we're looking for one role for one of our lady characters that I would like to get filled by the end of the month and that I'll have recording in either November or December. If you're interested in this role, you can check the link to the Google Document below, and just send us an email with your interest. That's all I got for you today. There is a lot left in this episode, so let's get right back to it. I will see you for our next episode, however, on Monday, October 21st.

[A Little Bit of Color begins to play once more.]

Tom

[The music fades.]

[00:32:56] Meeghan is Ezra Bridger. I am 100% convinced of this after this scene. 

Kyle

Any, any other wayward thoughts?

Ari

Misha just wants to watch this unfold. They are rooting for L'Adrien. 

Hallie

Ness is like, snapping along with the song on Xoc's shoulder.

Ari

Ahh, my god, I love him so much!

Tom

Xoc does not know what to think anymore. He's just dazzled by this wizardly dual that's apparently about to happen when the musical number ends. 

Kyle

Oh, no, no, no, no, it's happening while the musical number's going on. 

Tom

Ohhhh, nooo!

Kyle

Fun fact, choreographed dance and song doesn't really do that well in a fight situation.

Tom

Well, what if your magic comes from the power of dance, Kyle, had you considered this?

Kyle

I mean it does a little better. The issue is they're a little flowy, they get a little bit too into it, and then they stop remembering the moves, and then spells are going all over the place. It's, it's a thing. But that's a battle that's going on, and while it's going on, Misha, the letter that you picked up from L'Adrien flutters in your hand a little bit. And what you read from it suddenly makes a lot 

more sense.

Kyle (as L'Adrien's parent)

[A soft, wistful piano song begins to play.]

My child, I hope this letter finds you well, and that you are good in both intent and action. 

The Prodigious is the highest honor someone of our stature can attain, and it will mold you into a fine and respectable member of society. So, please, little L'Adrien. Remember the sacrifices that your father and I are making, if you should ever consider that villainy nonsense again. After all, it's simply not what good people do.

Kyle

And that, combined with this dance, is when you realize that while they may be a rapscallion and a scoundrel, L'Adrien was never a mastermind. They're just a person who wants to be themselves. And you can mark L'Adrien off your suspect list. 

[The music fades.]

Ari

Okay.

Tom

Already ahead of you Kyle. 

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

You can also mark L'Adrien on the floor. 

Ari

Oh, no!

Kyle

Because they do not do well against Vespari.

And you hear a thud 

[00:35:00] 

and a-- [Sharp buzzer noise.] --of a buzzer as L'Adrien just slams onto the ground against Vespari. They're getting a kick out of this—they are smiling and grinning and they almost go to continue the fight. 

[The eerie music of the Jagged Dream begins to play.] 

But that's when you see a pair of two gentle feet rest themselves on the stage. And Elee, you notice Soe look up at the stage, recoil a little bit, and grab her hair. You see, standing between Vespari and L'Adrien, the Blue Fairy, who has set herself down between the two as a way to signal...

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

[Over boisterous applause.] The end of the fight! 

[A bell rings three times.] 

[As the crowd boos.] Dr. Silversteel wins!

Kyle

And into a crowd of boos, L'Adrien says,

Kyle (as L’Adrien) 

[As the crowd begins clapping again.] Fight as much as you want, the Butterfly will be back, and will consume the world with my villainy! [Evil laughter.]

Kyle

[The applause fades.] And he makes his way off to the stage to a crowd of very excited very enthusiastic boos. And while L'Adrien's walk was usually a measured walk, it is now a full-on strut. And the announcer continues,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Is there anyone else who wishes to challenge the reigning champion? This time this isn't a rhetorical question! The next person in the line got...

Kyle

And he picks up a note that he was handed, a little pebble.

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

The flu. 

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Who else will challenge the great Dr. Silversteel, Conquerer of the Cosmos? 

Tom

Xoc will actually give a wide smile and gently place Ness down on the ground again, and say,

Tom (as Xoc)

I shall be right back. 

Tom

And then raise his hand and go up to the stage. 

Kyle

You make your way up to the stage. And as you get onto the steps, a trap door opens up and Sir Kentrim, Esq. pops on out of it. Uh, it looks like there's some underground walkways he can take, and he says,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Hey man, I can see here participating in this bullshit too, trying to score some votes for the Proligarchy?

Tom (as Xoc)

Actually, no, I don't care about that at all. I think this could be fun. 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

All right, man, whatever you say. Hey, hey, you got a name? You need to have a name, they get very upset at me if you don't have a name.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Tom (as Xoc)

You can put it down as the Wizard of the East.

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

[Over enthusiastic applause.] Our next challenger comes all the way from the wild wastes of the beyond! 

[As some begin to boo, the haunting choral music that typically accompanies Xoc's powers begins to play.] Presenting the fearsome, the uncontrollable, the wizard of the East!

Tom

And Xoc will, perhaps for the first time comfortable in this crowd, stride out onto the stage, and then just, ah, bring the strong glass staff down once with like, a resounding thud against the stage. You know, dramatic wizardly shit. And then Xoc will, uh, to Vespari, say,

Tom (as Xoc)

Uh, hello there. I don't think we've spoken since getting on board the ship.

[A few beats of silence.]

Tom

And when there's no response, he'll just say, 

Tom (as Xoc)

You know, I, I was a little confused at first, but now I think I understand why...why you wanted to do this. And I would like to join in. I would like to face you. 

Kyle

Um...Vespari's...a bit taken aback by that. The, you know like in cartoons where it takes on the facial expression of whoever is wearing it?

Tom

Yeah. 

Kyle

The mask was scowling at you like, [Annoyed hum.]

Tom

Like a Spider-Man mask. 

Kyle

And it just aloofly sticks its nose up at the air and say,

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

[Rock music begins to play.]

Now you're in my court boy-o.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

[Incredulous.] Boy-o? 

Tom

Boy-o?!

Kyle

[Through laughter.] I couldn't think of anything else to say!

Tom

I fucking—that is the most Vespari thing I have ever heard.

Kyle

And I want you to roll initiative, baby.

Tom

[Dice roll.] Oh, that's a nine. 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

All right, Dr. Silversteel is a bit taken aback. It looks like he's gonna let the opponent from the East take the first turn. 

Tom

So Xoc is going to open up by, um, for flavor, just for dramatic flair, can I say that I set my my strong glass staff floating next to me? It's the effect of my resonance field, but I'm not going to mechanically have it do anything. I just want it to be like, off to the side. And so Xoc will whip out his arms, revealing his two gloves, and from his left hand a beam of cutting light will gather in the ring on the palm and lance out towards Vespari.

[Dice roll.] And I rolled an eight.

Kyle

The beam of light cuts through the sky.

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

But Dr. Silversteel is too fast! Like a lightning bolt, he whips his way past and bends his body in such a way that it looks like the light cuts right through him. The most agile of performers is he! 

Kyle

[The music stops abruptly.]

I'm, you know, what?

[00:40:00] 

I don't like this gimmick for this one. I can't do the Kentrim voice.

Tom

It's dueling time, Kentrim doesn't matter anymore. 

Kyle

[Accordion music with a ponderous low horn line begins to play.]

Vespari whips his way out of the side, and as he does, he clicks his foot and a spark rises up. And like a bullet, he shoots one towards you. He, ah, basically he shoots a line of his dust, and the spark follows along the line trying to make its way towards you.

Tom

And in response, Xoc raises his right hand and activates countermeasures. 

[The music distorts and stops. A computer tone chimes. As Xoc begins to tap, several beeps sound like he's tapping a computer display screen.] 

A sort of holographic display of symbols appears before him, and he taps some of them in rapid succession to create almost a net to capture the esotery and fling it back at Vespari.

Kyle

[The beeps turn into a techno-style song.]

Okay. 

Tom

I'm gonna stick two levels of effort on this one. [Dice roll.] And that is a fifteen.

Kyle

So, uh, describe how it goes into your net and whips back out. 

Tom

Well, it's sort of like blue light extends out from the palm as the spark strikes it, and gathers in Xoc's right hand. And he gives a little smile, and then just flings it back out and it hurls back at the same speed towards Vespari. And now, seeing the effect of Vespari's boots, Xoc is going to bring up the left hand again and this time direct cutting light to like, slash at the stage by Vespari's boots. And let's, let's do two levels of effort as well. 

[The music fades.]

[Dice roll.] And that's a seventeen, so it'll do one extra damage. 

Kyle

How much damage does that do?

Tom

It does five normally, so it is six now. 

Kyle

All right, it slashes on the ground and, uh, the sparks go up and hit Vespari.

Emily

[Barely restrained glee.] Sounds like he's Ve-sparky!

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

[Garbled noise.] I don't know what that sound was, but that's my reaction.

Kyle

The sparks go up and they hit Vespari, but that gives him an idea. 

[Upbeat, mischievous music begins to play.] 

As the spark goes up and kind of hurts them a little bit, he let some of it catch on to his silver dust, which he envelops around himself and creates the equivalent of the spell Shroud of Flame. And now his entire body has become shrouded in flames that will last for up to ten minutes. And he takes some of these flames, forms a fist, and punches. 

Tom

It's funny because I just got through editing the fiery Hand of Doom in Cookie Two. But go ahead. I will...ehhh, I'll counter measure again. No effort this time. Gotta take some chances. 

[Dice roll.]

Oops. Fuckin' oops. That's a four.

Kyle

So the flame goes to hit you, and you have that countermeasures prepped, but he wasn't going for that. And the fist rises in the air and hits a fake plant in the banister above you, which falls down and knocks you on the head for eight points of damage. And the announcer says,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Hey, remember! [The music fades.]

Only esoteries, no cheap shots!

Kyle

And Vespari just turns over and angrily says,

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

You're a cheap shot!

Tom

Ughhh. Xoc will shrug off that hit, but grinning back, will, um, will once again cast Cutting Light, but this time trying to send out different pulses of light rather than a continuous beam, firing a bunch of different shots, to, uh, maybe make it harder for Vespari to dodge. 

[Whispering.] Mechanically it does nothing. 

[Normal volume.] I'm just I'm just trying to add some flare to Xoc defends, Xoc attacks. I only have one attack spell, so I can't even mix up my moves like a Pokemon. 

Kyle

Xoc does quick attack! It's all he knows! 

Tom

Xoc used thunder shock! It's not very effective. 

[Dice roll.] Well, it's just as well that I forgot to apply effort. I rolled a three. 

Kyle

Ah, I'm going to give you a GM intrusion. Who do you want to give your other point to?

Tom

I'm gonna give it to Hopper Scotch.

Hallie

[Startled.] What?

Tom

No real reason, just felt like it.

Kyle

[Bright, electropoppy music begins to play.]

Vespari's feeling this, right? He's getting confident and he sees those pulsating lights and he shoots out his cloud of silver dust, and just like it had reflected the stage lights, the Cutting Light lights start to shoot around it, and you just see this like, basically rainbow of different lights shooting between this different silver dust, and five of them launch their way back at you for five points of damage. 

Tom

Oh, I just take that automatically?

Kyle

Yeah. That's a GM intrusion point.

Tom

Oh well, now we went from being like, this is fine, to now I'm actually fucked. That, uh, that was colossally bad now, because I'm impaired now. 

Kyle

So if you want, I could make you, uh, dodge. I just thought it'd be interesting. 

Tom

No. No, no, it's perfectly fine. Uh, this is more deadly to me than the Regular Bob fight now. 

Hallie

[Chuckles.] 

Tom

That's fitting, that's fitting. Xoc is going to use a cipher. Xoc is going to withdraw the healing skin that he's been holding onto since the very beginning of this adventure, and then shoot up with it to heal five points of might.

Kyle

And as you do that, which is free for the first time you do it, it's a free action.

Tom

Uh-huh.

Kyle

You hear Sir Kentrim say,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

As we said, just esoteries!

Tom (as Xoc)

You're a cheap shot. 

[00:45:00] 

[Laughter from the party.]

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

I didn't even say that!

Kyle

And Vespari just turns over to you and nods his head, like, nice! Got'em.

Tom

[Haunting choral music begins to play.]

And Xoc will gather power in his left hand, because this, this fight...if this is a fight of attrition, Xoc will wear down sooner rather than later. And he doesn't actually know Vespari's limits. I'm gonna say one level to hit, one level to damage. [Dice roll.] And I rolled a twelve.

Kyle

Yeah, describe—you hurt him real bad. So how are you using your Cutting Light again? 

Tom

So this time, as Xoc rises up from that hit, like getting off the floor, a lot of light is, uh, being absorbed into, ah, into the ring in the center of the left glove, and his fist sort of shaking with the power a bit, he sends out a solid beam square into Vespari's chest.

Kyle

It hits the Shroud of Flames and pokes a hole, and the Shroud of Flames almost, like, moves around to his back like a turtle shell. 

[The music fades.]

And he falls on the ground and he is in serious pain. In fact, you can see part of the mask dramatically, like it always happens, is cracking a bit. And Vespari does his one last big attack at you. 

[The sound of flames crackling and wooshing winds begins.] And he takes the entire flaming shroud. 

[The flames intensify.] And he flings it at you. 

[The sound stops.]

Tom

We're going to do countermeasures again, and this time four levels of effort. 

[Dice roll.] Fourteen! With four levels of effort.

Kyle

How do you finish this duel against Vespari.

Tom

So, not—not playing around, not trying to conserve his strength, Xoc unleashes his full force. 

[Triumphant music begins to swell.] 

I'm not sure exactly what this would look like to others. Perhaps Xoc's eyes are even glowing a bit with a mechanical light as he raises up the right hand and the entire Shroud of Flames is sucked down into the right glove. 

And then, with a roar, that Inferno blasts back out and swirls around Vespari like the Pokemon move Fire Spin, like buffeting him around, maybe burning the cape up a bit, just like, spinning him around and flopping him down with a plop back on the stage again. 

[Strained.] Hopefully non-lethal damage.

Kyle

Vespari flops down onto the ground and his mask shatters, and he just tries to pick himself up and falls down. And you hear the crowd going, 

[Startled noises.] 

It's hushed. The villain has beaten the protagonist! And Vespari is like,

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

I can—I will not lose. I will not!

Kyle

[Eerie string music begins to play.]

And that's when in front of him, you see two feet gently place themselves on the ground as the Blue Fairy hovers herself down and stands between the two of you, and you hear the ring—

[A bell rings three times.] 

As the announcer says, 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.)

Looks like that's it for the reigning champion, everyone! Our new champion, the Wizard of the East!

Kyle

How you feeling right now, Xoc? Not like what are you doing, but how are you feeling? 

Tom

[Thoughtful noise.] Xoc is...honestly, Xoc is sort of zoning out the crowd and focusing on Vespari, because he just is concerned over, over how Vespari is, especially after a big attack like that. 

Kyle

And Vespari is definitely struggling to get up, and he's trying to, but he seems brought down more by his emotional pain than his physical. And he's getting up, he's like,

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

I can—what are you doing standing in front of me? I can, and I must defeat him! If I am not the greatest not-nano in the world, then I must be the greatest nano in the world, and—

Kyle

And the Blue Fairy, for the first time, makes a sound. She turns over, raises her eyebrows at him, and you just hear a little—

[Quick, dismissive chuckle.] 

A little soft chuckle to herself. And she turns back over to you as...I'm just gonna say one of the trap doors, or like what the stage, the stage like rotates so Vespari just slides down into the crowd. 

[Sympathetic noises and laughter from the party.] 

But then—

Tom

This poor boy.

Kyle

As you hear the announcer asking for, well, who's going to compete against a new reigning champ, you see the Blue Fairy turn over to you, move one of her feet in front of the other, extend her hand forward, and beckon. 

And let's roll another initiative.

Tom

I'm not sure if there will be a need because Xoc says,

Tom (as Xoc)

I forfeit.

Tom

And turns to walk off the stage.

Kyle

[Thoughtful noise.]

Roll speed defense.

Tom

[Quietly.] Yeah...I wondered.

[Louder.] I can apply one level of effort to this, and I shall. 

[Dice roll.] Oh! It's a sixteen, it hit a three and then rolled and it was a sixteen.. [Relieved sigh.] I promise I didn't cheat.

[Laughter from the party.]

Kyle

You hear a—

[Quick swishing noise.]

And you turn over, and you see that a line of beetles has extended and grabbed your floating staff from next to you, and it pulls it back into one of the Blue Fairy's hands. And she raises her other finger 

[00:50:00] 

in a like a, [Tut tut noise.] 

Fashion at you.

Tom

To clarify, the speed defense was to try and keep hold of my staff, right? 

Kyle

Yes.

Tom

And I failed with the sixteen plus effort?

Kyle

[A little ominously.] You did.

Tom

Xoc will turn and walk into the crowd. 

[The ominous music swells, and slowly fades.] 

I burned up everything fighting Vespari. I will lose this fight. This isn't a fight I can win, especially with that excessive, uh, effort on the, on the last countermeasures, which just took out like a third of my total bat—my intellect pool. Xoc can't win this fight and he knows that.

Kyle

No, that's fair. I think that's a valid and fair choice. I do want you to make a note: you can no longer use the esotery Resonance Field. 

Tom

Okay, I accept that. 

Kyle

[Jaunty, slightly anti-climactic player-piano music begins to play.]

All right, so the night ends kind of disappointingly, kind of like a, with a whimper. The Blue Fairy, who's been just dunked on twice in one day...not like dunked on, but just confused. Like, Misha grabbed her arm for no reason earlier this afternoon, and now she really egged Xoc on to a fight and he just said no, so she just leaves. There are a handful more fights. We won't play through the rest of it. But is there anything of note that happens over the course of this evening? 

Ari

Can, even if we don't play it, can Misha fight at the Nano Fight Club because they really wanted that too. 

[The music fades.]

Kyle

Yes, Misha absolutely fights!

Ari

Okay. 

Kyle

Ah, give me a roll to see how Misha does 

Ari

Okay. [Dice roll.] I rolled a twelve.

Kyle

Okay. So, uh, Misha you do, you do pretty well. You eventually do get bested by Chef Silverstein. 

[Laughter from the party.]

You get defeated by Chef Silverstein. 

Ari

Could it just be that they got defeated with like food-related esoteries, because Misha just doesn't like food?

Tom

They have a masterful control of the Fire and Ice esotery which they use to alternately cook and chill their dishes. 

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Ari

Yes!

Kyle

So Misha gets defeated by Chef Silverstein. That's the one part of the night where Everett seems like, really amped up a little bit. In fact, you can notice that, ah, Chef Silverstein has like, you know those little panel—those little like, desks that like indie bands have performances with merch? 

Ari

Hmm.

Kyle

Actually. she. She has a little thing like that and you can see Everett walks away with a few pieces of Chef Silverstein merch. 

Emily

[Delighted noise.] 

Kyle

Yeah. So Misha fights, you do pretty well, you don't get anything in it other than wow, that was fun. 

Ari

It's fine.

Kyle

And probably some adoration of Ness. 

Hallie

Oh, Ness is fucking loving it. 

Tom

Yeah, yeah. What was Ness' action to Xoc's, ah, little performance up there, I'm curious. 

Hallie

My reaction was actually, he—had you not turned away, Ness was actually going to intervene. 

Ari

Misha was also going to.

Tom

Damn. I'm disappointed I did not get to see Misha fight for my honor. 

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Tom

But it's—

Ari

Misha was going to do that.

Tom

It's fine. 

Hallie

Uh, but upon seeing Xoc walk away, Ness would have run after him like, 

Hallie (as Ness)

Xoc, that was amazing! Up until you forfeited. You know how much merchandise we could make of you? We could make actual money! Look, there's a merchandise table over there for like a chef, like, like, we could make so much—like, action figures! We could have had action figures!

Hallie

And he's saying things of that vein.

Tom (as Xoc)

Ah, that does sound very nice. Uh, I wasn't really in a good state to fight another nano, especially one who might be much more powerful than Vespari. I'm a little sad she stole my things though. Does this...this, does this, does this terrible city have laws uh, against stealing? 

Hallie

Ness shrugs.

Hallie (as Ness)

I don't pay attention to laws. 

Tom

[Through laughter.] And I think we can probably cut that scene there. 

Kyle

So you make your way out into the night. You do a lot of various things, uh, a whole lot of them are kind of re—repeats of last night. Xoc goes back to his room, maybe tries to make discussion with Everett. With, with, in either case, Everett's out in a second. Where is Ness? Where does Ness hang out in the evening?

Hallie

With Xoc, for the most part.

Tom

Yeah, that's fine. Ness can stay in, in our room. .

Hallie

Yeah, Ness follows Xoc around.

Kyle

I kind of like—okay. I'm kind of, you know the backpack that Ness was put in?

Hallie

Yeah. 

Kyle

When Xoc was...I kind of like the idea of Ness just flipping it, over dumping it out, and going into it like a sleeping bag. 

Ari

Oh, he's so cute!

Hallie

Oh, we would—he would do that. He would just appropriate all of Xoc's thing 

Tom

My tools!

Hallie

Nah.

Ari

No.

Hallie (as Ness)

No, this is my sleeping bag now. 

Tom

This is where I live. This is my home 

Hallie

He wouldn't say anything, he would just dump it out, and then climb into it, silently daring Xoc to say anything about it.

Ari

God. I love him so much. 

Tom

But yeah, in character Xoc actually would not say anything other than to smile fondly. 

Kyle

Meanwhile, Misha, do you try to explore again tonight? 

Ari

Yeah, I think Misha, Misha would do that. I think for like, the first half they would just stay in the deck and look at the stars because they like that, but the second half they would explore around. 

Kyle

Jesse will try to follow you again. 

Ari

Yeah. No, I know. Misha, 

[00:55:00] 

before doing anything will, I, I'm thinking Misha—if Misha could...I know technically last session I used my data sphere thing. But if I could use it to like, look how to read nighttime stories, or how to like help people sleep, like if there's like a lullaby or something that they can get, like, expert in,  in helping humans sleep.

Emily

[Delighted.] Play a lullaby on your kazoo!

Kyle

Yeah. No, actually, get, get that kazoo, play me a lullaby.

Ari

Ahhhhh, I don't, I'm not ready, which one?! What's a lullaby? Uhh...

Tom

What's a good lullaby.

Ari

[Strained.] I don't know!

Tom

You've got to think of a good meme lullaby. Hold on. Hold on. 

Kyle

Have we done, have we done All Star by Smash Mouth yet? 

Ari

No, but...

Tom

No, but that's...

Kyle

That's not a lullaby. [Gently, slowly singing.] Somebody once told me...

Ari

Ahh, I, I know. I got the one. I got one. Hang on.

[Ari begins playing 'Fireflies' Owl City, on the kazoo.]

It's Fireflies, but I'm trying to make the chords...

[Kazoo music continues.]

Basically just Fireflies.

Tom

Fucking incredible.

Kyle

[Softer, sleepy music begins to play (not on the kazoo).]

Um, yeah, and Jesse goes to sleep. Very, very, you tuck them in, and...

Ari

I also want to leave Misha's scarf on top of Jesse.

[Collective aw from the party.]

Kyle

Well, I can't just have that not work then. And then the scarf will wrap around them in a hug, and they'll close their eyes to sleep as the scarf just pat-pats them to bed. 

Ari

And Misha exits, they will say,

Ari (as Misha)

I always do find my scarf comforting. 

Kyle

Aww...so that happens. 

[The gentle music fades and transitions into something more ominous.] 

The only other thing of note is you feel a little vulnerable without your scarf and without Jesse there. Being all alone,  it's...you should be all alone, but for a second it feels like you aren't. For a second, it feels like someone's almost most trying to speak to you in the way that Xoc does, trying to worm their way into your head. 

Tom  

Oh, no.

Ari

Hmm. 

Kyle

[The music stops abruptly.] 

But, that's the end of that. And then Elee. What do you do during the evening? 

Emily

Can...can I say that Elee knew that it was Rei's birthday? 

Kyle

Yeah, fine. Yeah. 

Emily

I mean it doesn't—you know, it doesn't actually matter.

Kyle

Actually, no, Elee's whole thing is that she doesn't let go—

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

So she would absolutely remember.

Emily

Like, she would know. And I have a list.

[Bright, cheery music begins to play.]

I would like to go to the mail room, because that's where the gift thing is right?

Kyle

The ending machine. 

Emily

The ending machine. Yes. Yes. Okay. I would like to buy...sleep mittens, a diabolical puzzling box, a stuffed qwhale, a mining knife, and a self healing plant and a jar of olives.

Ari

How do you have so many coins?

Emily

Because I didn't buy anything. 

Ari

Oh I see.

Emily

I was saving it all for gifts. I see. Okay, I would like to purchase all of those things 

Kyle

And do what with them. 

Emily

[The music fades.]

I would like to hoist them all into my arms...well, I would, I want to keep the olives separate. But I would like to hoist the rest of them into my arms, and then I want to pile them in front of Rei's door, and then I would like to take the mining knife...and, I'm sure I have something in my hat that I can write on. 

Kyle

Uh, yeah. And I mean there are bricks all over.

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

But what do you, what do you write in? I want to know what you write in. 

Emily

Um, the thing is that I was gonna do it without a note, but the temptation to have, like, a note stuck to her door with a knife was too strong.

Kyle

And you're just taking the creepy visual novel gift-giving activity to its natural extreme. See, these are we, why these games limit to one gift per day or it becomes very creepy.

Emily

Yeah. Well, the purpose is not to actually charm her with this. There's no way this is gonna win Rei over. 

Kyle

Okay, so you just—

Emily

[Crosstalking.] I—

Kyle

Paste the note.

Emily (as Elee)

Happy...birthday...Rei. Um.

Tom

[Laughter.] I was just picturing the um also in the note after that point.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

 All right. Um...

Emily

Then I want to hold it up against her door and then stab the knife into it so it's held up against her door over the pile of gifts that will hit against the door when she opens it, because I've just shoved them up against it.

Kyle

And then after that, you go and you have another restless sleep in your room, because even though you had cut that, your bed open and let loose all the fathers within, it's still obnoxiously comfy, because the whole floor now is covered in those dang things. And it almost seems like there are more fathers in there than there were the night before.

Hallie

[Through laughter.] Like tribbles. 

Tom

Noo.

Kyle

All right. And then Hop. Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop.

Hallie

Um, 

[01:00:00] 

well, I want to specify that Hop would have gone to see Xoc immediately-slash-shortly after the duel to make sure he was okay, because Hopper was hanging out with Sera the whole time but he wasn't completely oblivious. He was watching the fights.

Kyle

Sera would actually want to come to and and congratulate Xoc. 

Hallie

I was gonna ask, yeah. So Sera and Hop met Xoc, and then he would have walked out with Sera. 

Kyle

And actually, when you congratulate him, Sera just gets really friendly very openly and like, says, 

Kyle (as Sera)

Hey, you did a good job out there, tough guy.

Kyle

And does a playful punch in Xoc's shoulder which definitely adds a might point of damage unintentionally. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Tom

I didn't need that fucking shit. Yes, I'm redistributing these pools again. 

Kyle

Oh calm, down you're full healing in the morning. 

Tom

Oh, do we full heal overnight? 

Kyle

Yeah. 

Tom

I thought that was only between arcs, because I was like, I've used up my other two recovery roles for the day and I'm not even close to full.

Kyle

No, you'll recover. 

Tom

Okay.

Kyle

I wouldn't do that to you. 

Tom

All right. All right. All right, let me...all right, that's fine. 

Kyle

Um, and so then after a few more hours, Hop, you make it back to your room. And you're by yourself for a while. You were actually with people for a few hours, that's pretty odd for someone who's been hiding.

Hallie

[The Pythagorean rhythm gently begins to play.]

Hopper still feels lousy. As soon as he's back in his in his shitty room, he kind of like, just lays down and thinks about the letter again. He's had a break, so he feels better than he has in the last few days, but once he's alone again, it all starts to like, resettle. It's like when you forget about a problem you're having, and then it always comes back as soon as you're alone. So he's just hanging out in the room thinking again about the letter, which he doesn't need to read, but it's in his pocket.

[The music fades.]

Kyle

[Slow thumping noises.]

Hop, you start to hear some lazy thump, slide, thump, slide, thump, slide on the, ah, hallway outside your door, and then suddenly it bursts open, and almost like a crumpled napkin—

Tom

[Crosstalking.] Oh...

Kyle

Vespari walks into the room and just slumps, falls onto the top bunk, all of his limbs and his head listlessly dangling down from the top bunk. 

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

[Despondently.] Do you know what it's like to live your whole life as a sham.

Hallie

Hopper leans back against his pillow and is speaking to the bottom of the bunk of which Vespari is on.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Resigned.] Yeah. Yeah, but you get used to it.

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

Did I tell you...of course I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone. 

[Melancholic piano music begins to play.] 

I wanted to be a nano so badly when I was a kid. I saw these magical people, making magical things, and I was filled with such wonder. But I didn't have the nano ability. Ig and I worked a day in and day out to get our nano abilities, training, looking up different kinds of religions...religions! Until eventually I got these amazing powers. And then what does everyone say? 

[A brief pause.]

That's right. They say nothing.

Everyone else, it's mundane. It's nothing. It's regular. I try to make something out of it and nobody cares.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Gently.] I mean, you had a lot of fans tonight. I wouldn't say nobody cares. 

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

Yeah. Well, they were fans of Dr. Silversteel. Not the Great Vespari. Can I...

Kyle

And he pokes his head over the top bunk, and he just looks down at you with big eyes.

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

Can I tell you a secret.

Hallie

Hopper just nods.

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

[The music fades.]

My real name isn't even the Great Vespari. 

[Anguished.] 

It's just Vespari.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Did you give yourself that name? The Great Vespari?

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

Yeah.

[The piano music begins again.]

Ig had this big long fancy name. I couldn't think of anything, and all they said was, well, you're pretty great. Pretty great. I wasn't even good enough to come up with a name. I was just like, well, they say I'm pretty great. I guess that's what my name is now.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Names have a way of falling into your lap like that. Have you ever regretted being Dr. Silverstein...Silver, Silversteel?

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

Dr. Silversteel, now that was something that I did right. People actually cared about Silversteel. You see tonight's Vespari performance/ No, you didn't, because they cancelled it for a second round of Calaval. It just...it just hurts when your real self has 

[01:05:00] 

a fake name, and your fake self a real one.

[The music ends.]

Kyle

And Vespari takes a moment to think, and then he goes on another tangent.

Kyle (as the Great Vespari)

I haven't even mentioned that annoying young man, Xoc. [Sneering.] Wizard of the the East 

Hallie

Hopper's pupils get so small.

Ari

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Like, they do the cartoon thing where they just dilate really, really quickly. 

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

He just walks in, waltzes in and says, [Sneering.] Hey I'm Xoc. I'm a wizard. I do spells, and everybody loves me for it!

Ugh. Arrogant little shit. 

[The music slowly fades into the closing song, "Hitoshio," by Miracle of Sound.]

But can I tell you the worst part of it all? 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Reluctantly.] Yes?

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

The reason I hate him so much is because seeing him so successful makes me feel so unimaginably envious.

[Ending theme intensifies.]

Kyle

[01:06:29] The music fades.

Vespari redemption arc, let's go.

Ari

Hashtag Ves-hops-iraptor.

Kyle

Everyone's chanting, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, not like that, but they're chanting. 

Kyle (as the Great Vespari) 

I want to be Vespari, and I want to use magic, but I guess the world isn't interested in a magician who does Vespari. I guess they're more interested in those that have PhDs first.

[Laughter from the party.]

Tom

Dr. Silversteel is a doctor of law.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Vespari took it from a soap opera he saw one day. He took Dr. Silversteel and he just added the Conqueror of the Cosmos part. The rest of it was just a soap opera he saw. And admittedly the Conqueror of the Cosmos? That was just the name of the show that started right afterwards. 

Tom

I was wondering how he came up with this name when he struggled to come up with names in the past. Plot hole solved. Take that one, Cinema Sins.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

[Episode end - 1:07:27]