Ep. 55: Crime and Courtship, Part 19

artifact which quickly explained why Vera was still able to do the punches real good, but you couldn't use your nano powers at all. And that's because inside of Ness, they put in your kryptonite, which I've just created right now. 

It's a little cypher called the datasphere dampener. It's a small speaker that blocks out the datasphere 

[00:05:00] 

in immediate range. And since that's what you use to access your powers, that's why you weren't able to use nano abilities. 

Now that you have it, it's just a cypher that you, Xoc, own and you can use once.

Tom 

Mm. They were just, they were using it to just torrent a really large file and eating up all of my bandwidth. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

All right. So we've got Vera taken care of. We've got most of the ships–again, Jebediah put everything back. Um, another good thing, the ship's dead in the water.

[The music ends.] 

Tom 

In the air.

Kyle 

Because... [Trails off.]

Tom

[Extremely pleased.] Ehhh.

Kyle 

Because the Prodigious requires a stratic life datasphere patron in order to operate, and you killed that patron, the ship now just doesn't function. It's flying in the air but it can't move. It doesn't really have lights. You can't have any more smashed topatos because the ovens don't work. 

Tom

[Distressed.] Whooaaa.

Kyle 

Sera and Chitters are currently up at the relay trying to fix it, but nothing really has happened on that front. That's, and it's been a few–it's only been a few hours, but also it's been a few hours. And finally, Sunny and Mayra eventually reached out to you and said they had some stuff they want to talk to you about. 

Is there anything that you all wanted to do before then? 

Tom 

Uh, I mean other than ensuring that Ness is with us and safe. 

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

No, I don't, I don't think Xoc has anything in particular. 

Kyle 

All right. So in that case, all of you and Ness, make your way into Mayra's classroom. 

[Slightly spooky but whimsical music begins to play.]

It's a lot more–okay. It's not more put together at all than it was last time, but instead of being filled with a variety of artifacts related to Prylima, but floating Kingdom of Prylima, that is, it's just filled with junk.

Sunny and Mayra tried to figure out what they like from like, sixty-plus years of living in the span of three days. You've got things that like, little kids would play with, you've got like, edgy teen albums? Half of which are Everett's.

Hallie

Heh.

Kyle 

You've got like, the philosophical phase of books. They really checked out as much as they could in the past while. But there is a small table that has just a handful of the really important artifacts related to Prylima, and that's the table you're ushered to when you come in by a very excited Mayra. 

[The music fades.] 

And an excited, but less understanding about why she's excited, Sunny. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Oh, good! I'm glad all of you were able to come. Um, yeah. I've got some really great things to show you here. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

But before we start, might I say, all of you did an exceptional job with that Jagged Dream thing that you had to deal with.

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Slightly startled.] Ah, thank you. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Oh, you're very welcome. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[In a slightly frazzled voice.] Yeah. Yeah, you did great. 

Kyle 

Mayra is kind of waving her hands, but you can tell that even though she just almost died by it she doesn't really care about the Jagged Dream stuff compared to what she has to show you. Yeah, should we just get into it?

Tom

Yeah.

Hallie 

Let's do it. 

Kyle 

All right. So Mayra ushers you over to the table while Sunny goes off to get another batch of cotton candy to eat, and Mayra just says, 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

So, could you help refresh me? What–what do you all know about the Apocrita? I don't want to repeat things that you already know, that would be very–it would be wasteful for me as an instructor. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Ah, well, we've heard the story about how the Apocrita came out all those years ago, and how the heroes of Navarene were evacuating towns from it and trying to keep people safe, until that one day that Aegon flew into the storm and just sort of went away. I think we had pieced together that it sort of sucks people up after the spiders get to you, because I had a pretty close call with that myself.

And now we know that Aegon is, ahh...his body at least is still alive in the storm, and it's either using his memories or he's controlling it or something like, that because it's not acting like it used to. It's hunting the heroes of Navarene, and possibly us too now.

Hallie (as Ness) 

[Playful, upbeat accordion music begins to play.] 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've been on this boat for my entire life, and I'm only just now hearing about clouds of spiders? 

Tom (as Xoc) 

You–uh–

Hallie (as Ness) 

What the fuck man. Why didn't you tell me? I've been bored this whole time!

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Startled.] I'm sorry!

Hallie (as Ness) 

And we're fighting spiders?! That's so much cooler than literally anything else you've ever said. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

We've had–there's just been a lot going on!

Hallie (as Ness) 

[Extremely frustrated yell.]

Hallie 

Ness stomps off and starts opening books at random. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

They didn't have their memories! We were trying to help them!

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

So Mayra, who had shared a kind of concerned look with Sunny when you had mentioned that it was now potentially using Aegon's memories to hunt down everybody else...upon hearing that Ness wants to know everything, and just really excited about a youth who wants to learn, just immediately breaks into a diatribe about all the things that the Apocrita does. 

Hallie 

Ness just like, nods while she's talking. Just,

Hallie (as Ness) 

Yes, yes. Yes, that makes sense. Mmm-hmm. Yes. Spiders. 

Tom 

[Dryly.] I'm very smart.

Kyle 

And while Ness is doing this, Xoc, you turn over and you see Loell is actually looking at one 

[00:10:00] 

of the books that Ness has flipped over, and he just turns over to you and says,

Kyle (as Loell) 

[A little derisively.] Who even are these nerds, man?

Tom (as Xoc) 

What–these two?

Kyle (as Loell) 

Yeah, these–these randos. Why are you talking to them bout the Apocrita? 

Kyle 

And he just like, stares at Mayra and Sunny, the way someone would stare at someone that they know or vaguely have heard about, and they don't like.

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Hesitantly.] Ah, I'll tell you later. We...we need to take care of this before something worse happens to this boat. 

Emily 

Can I have noticed this?

Hallie 

Yeah, can we all notice Xoc, like...

Tom

Yeah, Xoc is just saying this out loud. He is just turned and is like, speaking to thin air. 

Ari 

I want Misha to like, mentally speak to Loell and say,

Ari (as Misha) 

[Sternly.] You'd better not distract us from what we're here to do. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

I just want to shoot my claws at wherever he's speaking to, like that general direction. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[Distressed.] Oh, no, no. No, please don't, please don't do that. I'm–I'm so sorry for getting you bored with with things that you already know about, we'll start talking about interesting stuff right now. I promise!

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Tom (as Xoc) 

No, no, you don't need to worry Mayra.

Ari (as Misha) 

[Crosstalking.] I don't–

Tom (as Xoc)

It's, uh...

Emily (as Elee) 

[Crosstalking.] It's–it's other things. It's...

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Crosstalking.] Ongoing problems. We'll, we'll tell you after. Afterwards. 

Emily (as Elee) 

[Weakly.] Do you want some water? 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[With a relieved sigh.] You know, I really could use some water. Yes, please. Thank you.

Emily (as Elee) 

[Sheepishly.] I would get you some but I don't actually know where it was. I just thought it would be soothing to say that.

Ari (as Misha) 

I could have my ant friends go search some water, but it would come in little droplets so it...to fill a glass it would take a really long time. 

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Ari (as Misha) 

But if you're patient enough I can bring it to you.

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

Can Xoc notice a glass of water nearby?

Hallie 

Roll the perception check!

Emily 

Hallie. You're not allowed to tell him what...

Kyle

Yes. Yes, you notice...

Hallie 

[Crosstalking.] Yes I can! 

Kyle 

You notice–you notice a glass, but it's not filled with water. So Sunny helpfully comes over, grabs some of her cloud, and just like, wrings it out like a dish towel.

Tom

Ewww.

Kyle 

So bits of rain water fall into it. 

Tom 

Ewww. This isn't what I wanted.

Kyle 

And then so Mayra'll take a big sip of water. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[Sighs.] We ah...we weren't ready when the Apocrita hit forty years ago. 

[Gentle, tinkling music with a haunting melody begins to play.] 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

There are strange things in the Steadfast. Stranger still in the Beyond. But the Apocrita wasn't from the Steadfast or the Beyond–it was from beyond the Beyond.

Kyle (as Mayra) 

And–and, we as the heroes of Navarene had had just started. So there was, you know, Sue and Marv. There was Mauve and Mako.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

[Fondly.] And Tready. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

There was the Professor. There was her, and us, and, and of course there was Inuki as well.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Aegon, the poor boy, kept everyone at a distance. He only really got to know the Professor and Inuki, and that was because they could read minds. 

[The music fades.] 

The Professor, of course, had the ability to see into one's thoughts. And then Inuki... 

[Melancholy guitar music begins to play. A soft woodwind melody accompanies it.]

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Well, Inuki was his xi-drake. I don't know if you've heard of them before. They're these large winged creatures with, with fins that come out of their heads, and well, when they meet with someone and they bond with them, they form a kind of psychic connection.  Even though Inuki was the only one of us who couldn't actually speak with Aegon, I think she was the only one who really understood him.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

He was bullheaded. He had his own direction of how he wanted to go with things, and he didn't really care to hear about the rest of them. There's a reason that despite all of our doubt, we felt the need to stay as the Professor for so long.

Kyle (as Mayra) 

But he–he did care. He showed it in odd ways.

Kyle 

And Mayra pulls out a copy of her photo of the heroes of Navarene. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

But...but he did care.

[The music fades.] 

That's why Marv's death hit him so hard.

[A more unsettling piano melody begins.] 

The first person we ever saw get consumed by the Apocrita was Susan's husband Marv. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

We didn't have the good sense you all did to run. We tried to face it head-on, and...

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Everyone worked twice as hard afterwards. Sue kept trying to broker as many relationships as she could in order to get people as far away as possible. Mauve and Mako were developing new methods of fighting the Apocrita and helping people defend themselves against it. And, well, the professor. Um, well, she just...she found the way to defeat it.

Kyle 

And at this point, Mayra's going to pull out the pages woven with glittering powder, the ones from the, ah, floating kingdom of Prylima that you were able to read last time you came here. The first page, just a repeat of what you had read had said, once again, our kingdom was found. Our strategy of retreating is simply not safe. In order to defeat the invading spiders, we must use use...

And at this point Mayra pulls out the second page.

[The music fades.] 

And that page simply says,

Tom (as Xoc) 

Redd's blessing? What does that mean? 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Well, it's um, it's...it's this.

Kyle 

And Mayra points to the rest of that page that you would read which contains a diagram or an image of a spear with prismatic markings on it, and threads extending out from the staff. Some of these are wrapped around the device 

[00:15:00] 

and other s seem to be reaching out, searching for someone, something.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

You need to understand, Xoc. Before Prylima the Steadfast, the Apocrita invaded Prylima. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

And, uh, and as I'm sure you know, it's, it's kind of hard to fight, a, uh...it's hard to fight a cloud? It's just got too many small pieces to it. And so what they figured at Prylima was, if they couldn't defeat it from the outside, they could fight it from the inside. Force it onto a battlefield of memories, of sorts.

In the best case scenario, the volunteer overcomes the Apocrita. Someone goes in, fights the Apocrita on the inside, and then is able to defeat it. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

And in the worst case scenario, they're consumed, but this entity, which had been spread out so many different places, is now contained in a single body. It has a Nexus, which will be an easier target for the next fool who needs to use Redd's blessing. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

So Redd's blessing allows you to go inside the cloud?

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Yes. But in a less...physical way. Physically, anyone could get inside of the cloud. They probably wouldn't survive it, but they could get inside of it. What the blessing does is...

Kyle 

And Mayra points to the chords first, and the spear second. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

It's able to get you connected.

Kyle 

And she points to the spear tip.

Kyle (as Mayra) 

To it. 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

You don't just go inside the cloud physically. The Apocrita is a database of memories. Whoever uses Redd's blessing sacrifices themselves to the cloud, but unlike the other victims is able to keep free will and able to fight it from the inside-inside. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

And so that's what Aegon had done. 

Ari (as Misha) 

[Softly.] But it did not work, did it.

Tom (as Xoc) 

And he never told any of the others about this artifact? 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[Melancholy, wistful piano music begins to play. It has a note of desperation to it.]

He...I, I...I like to say he meant to, but I...I think that's some false memories coming back to us.

No, we had told Aegon about it. The Professor, she...we...something should have been sad but then we got to Bodrov, and it came to a head. Suddenly we either had to flee while the town was destroyed, and find a way to use the artifact which was presumably somewhere in the cloud...or...

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Or Aegon, who had the tenacity and the stamina to make it there himself, could hunt down the blessing in the cloud all alone.

[The music fades.] 

The issue with Aegon...that boy couldn't handle not saving everyone, and he didn't consider himself part of...the everyone. 

Ari (as Misha) 

Does this blessing work just in a one-way fashion? If Aegon is trapped there, assuming there is something left of him there, is there a way to use this to reverse the process? To do it without also defeating Aegon?

Kyle 

And it's at that point that Mayra and Sunny share the concern look again, the one they had when you had first mentioned Aegon. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Xoc. Can we have something that's...potentially a bit uncomfortable?

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Confused.] Sure. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

What happened when you were taken over by the Apocrita? When you were taken over in full.

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Takes a deep breath.] 

[The sound of a looming thunderstorm and pouring rain as the wind howls in the distance.] 

After I lost consciousness on the houseboat...it's a little hazy now, but I think I was in a memory. There was other things there. It was it was strange, but I kept reliving...just a very bad memory, over and over again.

And I didn't know how to get out. But then I guess I must have gotten the serum from Mako, because I...at some point I did...I did wake up again.

Emily (as Elee) 

We didn't, um, have the serum yet, but we got cha out. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Oh, oh right, what did you do to cure me?

Emily (as Elee) 

[Quickly.] Nothing.

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

Elee beat the shit out of you, and you stuck feathers in your mouth. It was very weird. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

What? You did what cure me?

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

Nothing!

Kyle 

And in response, Mayra–she just is really excited about having a theory that seems to be going right and is just like,

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[Excitedly.] Yes. Yes, that's exactly what happens! 

Kyle 

And Sunny, who can read the room a little better, interrupts and says,

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Sue's no longer with us, is she.

Tom 

Xoc will shake his head.

Hallie 

Hopper's also shaking it.

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Glumly.] She was taken by the...by the Apocrita. 

Kyle 

And suddenly the chalk on the wall that Mayra was writing on just stops abruptly, and Sunny pipes in and just says,

Kyle (as Sunny) 

[Slightly eerie piano music begins–softly at first, then increasing in intensity and volume.] 

Memories work a lot like threads. They live by the relationship that they have with each other.

In order to access memories, you need to have other memories to access from, and there is always a memory...a nexus point. The most important memory from which everything else is most easily accessed.

The victims of the Apocrita…don't 

[00:20:00] 

die. Instead, they end up looping in that memory, unchanging, over and over and over again.

Kyle 

And Mayra, who hasn't turned from the wall, says,

Kyle (as Mayra) 

It traps them in the world exactly like the Aegon wanted. 

One where everyone is safe, forever. 

[The music ends.] 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

There's no parading in and...and saving Aegon, because he's willingly piloting the Apocrita. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

You...you can't save Aegon because he's convinced he saving everyone else. 

Tom (as Xoc)

[Angrier than we've ever heard Xoc before.] That's because I am!

[An ominous, sudden drumbeat.]

Kyle 

Xoc.

Ari (as Misha) 

[Startled.] Xoc? 

Kyle 

Who do you want to give your other GM intrusion point to?

Tom 

[A little nervously.] Who is below three points of experience right now?

Hallie 

I have two?

Tom 

I will give it to Hopper Scotch because it will not be going to waste. 

[The music intensifies. The scuttling, creeping electronic melody of the Apocrita begins to play.]

Kyle 

[Clears his throat.] Okay.

Xoc, you feel yourself unwillingly hunched over, angry, sweating, yelling. And out of the corner of your eye, you swear you see a figure making the exact same pose.

Tom 

Um, is Xoc able to turn and look at Loell, or is he still not quite in full possession of his body? 

Kyle 

Yeah. You can look over to him, and you can see that he is just staring daggers at Mayra and Sunny. 

Kyle (as Loell) 

I had to do it. You have to understand. Nobody could understand! Why could I tell anyone? No one ever understood anything!

Xoc, you have to tell them!

Tom (as Xoc) 

I was kind of wondering if this was who you really were, buddy. 

[Sighs.] 

Do they give you a fancy names when you join the Angulan Knights? Aegon Stormbreaker. 

Kyle 

And he just turns to you. Angry and betrayed, and he just says,

Kyle (as Loell) 

[In a deceptively light tone.] Hey Xoc.

[A pause.]

D'ya hear rain?

Kyle 

And suddenly, that's when you all hear it.

Pat. Pat, pat, pat. Pat pat pat pat pat pat–

It sounds like a little hail storm. And as you look out the windows, you can see these very large droplets, except it's weird. It's, it's–it's dark, so you can't really see them well, but they're even darker than the darkness of night. These little, blub. Blub-blub-blub, blub blub blub blub blub.

Big blobs hitting the side.

And can everyone roll speed or might defense?

Emily

[Sighs.] Great.

[The music fades.] 

[Scattered dice rolls.] 

Ari

Ten. 

Tom.

Six. 

Emily

Thirteen. 

Hallie

Fifteen. 

Emily

I'm trained.

Kyle 

Uh, who got the six?

Tom 

[Glumly.] Me. 

Ari 

[Amused.] Tom. 

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

So everyone else–you are kind of maintaining your balance, while Xoc, you're just flown to the ground and kind of slide across the floor.

Tom

Wheeee.

Kyle 

As with a large crunch, and in fact a series of them, you here scraping of almost glass as it seems to slide itself inside of the Prodigious.

Kyle 

And Mayra just turns. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Well, uh. I, I guess it was following us.

Kyle 

And then suddenly they're both hit with realization and they say,

[Intense, fast-paced orchestral music begins to play.]

Kyle (as Mayra and Sunny)

Wait, it was following us!

Kyle 

And they bolt out of the door. 

Tom 

Oh boy. 

Kyle 

And as you watch them run, Xoc, you notice that Loell is no longer there 

Tom 

Xoc will still stand up and say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

I don't know if you can still hear me when you–when you do your vanishing act, but we'll be seeing you again.

Tom 

And then Xoc's going to turn to Ness and say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

Well friend. You wanted to deal some spiders. They're hear now. Also other things...it's a real fun time. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

What just happened?

Tom (as Xoc) 

Uh, the, the guy who's controlling the swarm that we're trying to stop is also in my head from a time that one of the spiders got inside my body? So I didn't die, but they are spying on us through me.

Kyle (as Sera) 

Wait, you got someone in your head?

Kyle 

And I'm going to rule that just to keep action moving, this has been happening while you've been running. 

Tom 

Oh, yeah.

Kyle 

Following Mayra and Sunny in their direction, and Sera and chitters have just caught up with you and are now speeding alongside you. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Sera–you were outside. What's it like out there? 

Kyle (as Sera) 

Ah, well, you know, there's a...um, big thing. Lots of green lines in it. Hit the ship real hard, and seems to be choking it. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Are you okay? I–are you and Chitters okay?

Kyle (as Sera) 

[Slightly incredulous.] Uhhh. Are all of you okay?

Hallie (as Hopper) 

For now, at least.

Emily 

Elee had got like–when Sera showed up, she had like, half turned to like, go hug her in relief, and then was like, nope! Kind of like, tripped over herself a little bit. It was very noticeable. 

Kyle (as Sera) 

Well, I mean, you guys fought the Jagged Dream, it can't be that–

Ohhh, that is big.

Kyle 

And you have all made your way to the captain's gondola, where you see Mayra and Sunny staring down, through the broken glass, the cloud. Shards of obsidian glass, no less than a hundred feet from your face, are just turning over each other, spinning around, and through them you see streaks of bright green light, streaks of frozen lightning that's pulsing with movement as if this thing has really sprung to life.

And Mayra and Sunny 

[00:25:00] 

turn back to you and say,

Kyle (as Mayra and Sunny) 

[Insistently.] You have to go. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

What are you doing here though? 

Kyle (as Mayra and Sunny) 

We're waiting!

Hallie (as Hopper) 

For what?! 

Emily (as Elee) 

For it to get you? No!

Kyle 

And that's when you see...obsidian glass tiles fly onto the ground. Two pieces, then on top of it, just layering itself into dozens of layers that rise and rise and rise until they make a figure...

[The music ends.] 

Of a large armored man, with a giant war hammer and a spiked helmet. 

Emily 

I want to punch it.

Kyle 

And then next to him...

Hallie and Emily

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

Yeah, Xoc, Xoc's got the cutting like glove all ready to go. 

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Ari 

Yeah, yeah, Misha is also...

Hallie 

Hop's got his shield up. He's like–I think it's safe to say that everyone's like, ready to go.

Kyle 

Okay. [Laughter.] Yeah, roll me, roll me an attack, Elee. 

Emily 

[Dice roll.] 

[Long pause.]

[Weakly.] Um, so I rolled a one.

Tom

[Distressed.] Oh no!

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

And I feel like this is gonna be a problem. I'm gonna get Elee killed. 

Hallie 

I just want to say that technically anyone who stands next to me who I have designated as an innocent gets a buff to defense. 

Emily 

Okay? Well, I wasn't–

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] There's, there's–

Hallie 

We're in small room though! Like I think everybody is standing next to me. 

Kyle 

Nothing saves a one, Hallie. You could use six levels of effort and it would not save a one. 

Emily

[Sighs.]

Hallie 

No, I'm just saying–

[Glumly.] Never mind.

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Tom

You tried. 

Emily 

All right, just–just say it, just...

Kyle 

So you go to hit him, and suddenly you hear a–shing!

And Elee, you're thrown back and slashed for...let's say ten points of damage before armor. 

Emily 

[Weakly.] Okay. 

Kyle 

And you see another obsidian figure.

Tom

[Faintly.] No. 

Kyle 

You see a young woman in what seems to be a vest.

Tom

[Barely audible.] No.

Kyle 

With a rapier.

Tom

Not like this.

Emily 

No. 

Kyle 

And next to her...

Emily and Hallie

Nooooooo. 

Kyle 

A young moustached man.

Emily

Noo.

Kyle 

And next to him. 

Emily 

Oh, no no. 

Kyle 

A small pail. 

[Noises of distress from the party.]

Emily 

No, Tready too?

Ari

Oh no, not the pail too. 

Emily

Not Tready, too!

Tom

Jesus Christ.

Hallie

Why would you make us fight Tready!

Tom

Ohhhhh nooooooo.

Hallie

[Over Tom.] No!

Tom

Ohh the Apocrita can absorb machines, too?

Emily

[Weakly.] Not Tready!

Kyle 

And Sunny just says,

Kyle (as Sunny) 

[Exasperated.] We said get away from it. 

Emily (as Elee) 

It was instinct! Also, ow!

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

Also–shit. Mauve? 

Hallie 

Hop is was gonna run over to Elee to check on her 

Emily 

She kind of waves him off.

Emily (as Elee) 

I'm, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Tom 

Xoc, trying to trying to keep himself in check upon seeing all of this appear, will say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Melancholy piano music begins to play.]

It's–we don't need to lose any more people! We can get away. 

Kyle (as Mayra) 

[Determined.] Eh-eh-exactly! And if you stay here, everyone on the ship will be lost. Without its datasphere Patron, this ship is dead in the water and not a single one of the escape pods is going to get out. We need to get a patron onto the ship!

Kyle 

And Sunny just says, 

Kyle (as Sunny) 

[Gently.] We don't need to see his threads to know he's only here for us. You can get everyone else off the ship. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

We don't want to lose anyone else. [Pleading.] Please.

Kyle (as Mayra) 

Well–uh, um, well, unfortunately, that's the choice you've got to make.

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Because this is what happens when you don't.

Tom 

Xoc will try to blink away tears and say, 

Tom (as Xoc) 

O-okay fine, but you better not just let them take you!

Tom 

And he'll turn and run from the room.

[The music ends.] 

Kyle 

Okay, so you've got a ship that's about to–that's being kind of taken over by this wave of spiders. On the third deck, you've got a Cecilos who's trapped in the Ladybug. On the main deck, you've got a bunch of people who are rushing to get to the escape pods. They're trying to get out. But the issue with that is our third problem. This ship doesn't have a datasphere patron, and you left the only stratic life you know back on the gondola. 

Emily 

So I have, I have a logistical question about the escape pods. They're not going to like, go off the ship if they don't work, right? 

Kyle 

Yeah, no.

Emily 

Like people are not just going to get in them, and then they're just gonna fall–like we don't have to stop them from getting into them?

Hallie

Wooosh!

Tom 

[Strained laughter.] Jesus Christ. 

Kyle 

No, everyone, everyone's stuck. 

Emily 

I just got really worried for a second. 

Tom 

Oh boy. So with, still–still fighting tears, Xoc is going to stop running for a second and say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

I've got one idea we might be able to use to restart the ship. I don't know if it'll work, but I'm going to try to contact the nano spirits again, see if they can help.

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

[Mystical, tinkling music begins to play.] 

Oh, hey, Xoc. Nice of you to call us when everything is falling apart!

Tom (as Xoc) 

[The music ends.] 

[Weakly.] I'm sorry. 

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

It's no, it's fine. We're sorry. No, it's just a little concerning. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Yeah, things got real bad really quick. 

[00:30:00] 

I didn't have time to talk to you again after...after everything. 

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

No, it's, it's...we'll talk about it later. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Are you able to function as patron of this vessel as well? Can you reactivate it? 

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

Xoc. Yeah, we could be the patron. But we're not just gonna leave you in the middle of a cloud of spiders!

Tom (as Xoc) 

Well then, do you know any other way we could get this vessel operational? Because if not, we're all doomed regardless.

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

[Exasperated sigh.]

Kyle 

And there's a real, real long sigh.

Yes, we do. They're standing right next to you. 

[An insistent, determined electronic melody with a low drumbeat begins to play.]

Tom

So Xoc is going to turn to look at Misha Jarvis, who is presumably also there in the hallway. 

Ari

I would assume that Misha is actually standing next to Xoc, because otherwise it would be–

[Laughter.] 

Hallie

[Amused.] Yeah, I think we all left the, uh...

Tom 

You see that thing in the anime, where you turn around to look at someone and then there's–

[The music stops abruptly.] 

Just the blinking outline of where they used to be. Like, whaaaa?

Kyle 

Misha went back to fight Aegon.

Ari

[Dryly.] Misha would have.

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Xoc will say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

Will–will they know what to do?

Kyle (as the nano spirits)

Xoc, they've been doing it for years. They're doing it right now!

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Very confused, and also very uninterested in processing this right now.] Okay, then. Uhhh.

Tom 

So Xoc is gonna sigh and say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Gently.] Okay. We'll figure it out. Thank you. 

Tom 

And with that, the line will be ended, and Xoc'll turn and this time out loud actually, for the benefit of everyone else here, say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

I spoke to the nano spirits and they think Misha Jarvis can function as the patron of this vessel.

Ari (as Misha) 

[Startled.] Me? But...but how? I don't...I'm not entirely sure how to do that. Are you sure they are correct in their information?

Tom (as Xoc) 

I don't know if they are or not, but it might be our, our only chance to get this thing working again. I'm...I'm worried that whatever that thing out there that's been messing with you is some kind of stratic life, and maybe you are too? There's a lot we don't know. But if Ezra could use his powers on you, then maybe...maybe it's true?

Ari (as Misha) 

[Clearly uncertain.] I suppose I can try...somehow. I apologize for not remembering enough to understand exactly how to do this, in case I can, but I will do my best.

Ari

And I guess I could maybe datasphere search some way on how to become a patron as a stratic life member?

Tom 

How to become a patron? Well that's easy! You just go to, uh...

[Upbeat music that sounds like it would be played on a game show prize introduction or an infomercial plays.]

Hallie 

Don't do it. Don't do it!

Ari

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

QuestFriendsPodcast.com! Click on our patreon link.

Ari 

Unlock a lot of cool bonus content! Fun stories, a zine every month, just click there please, and that was the uh...

Tom 

We got a lot of good content, and it goes a long way towards helping this show eventually, eventually become self-sustaining!

Ari 

And that's Quest Friends! I hope everybody enjoyed it. 

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Ari 

That's the end of this show!

Tom 

Remember to like, comment, and subscribe and ring the notification bell. 

Ari 

It all, it all came up to this.

Hallie

[Laughter.] 

[The music ends.] 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Kyle 

Anyways, so you search up how to be a patron, and what you get back is basically that a datasphere patron can form a bond how they wish, although it is significantly harder when the relay isn't as strong, or when you're further away. For someone like you who has never tried before, you seem to get the impression that you need to like, be physically next to the relay itself in order to have that connection made with the Prodigious. 

Ari 

Okay. Misha will say that then.

Ari (as Misha) 

Um, well...I seem to be getting the impression that if I'm able to do this, I need to be right next to the relay. I believe I will...attempt to head there? And do my best there. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

You're going to need some protection outside the ship. We don't know how many of those things are crawling around outside. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Yeah, you shouldn't go alone.

Tom 

Referring back to our trusty map of the Prodigious...

[Jazzy heist music begins to play.]

The escape pods are on the main floor, right? 

Kyle 

Yes.

Tom (as Xoc) 

I think we might need to split up in order to start gathering everyone near the escape pods and at least in one concentrated place, so if the Apocrita gets in, we can at the very least protect them from it. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Well, I can probably muscle in there and try to get people moving. I am, I guess, technically a professor, and also I murdered someone front of them. 

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

They'll listen to me.

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Um, if it's okay, I...I want to go with you, Misha. I can help keep whatever's out there off your back while you get this power restored.

Ari 

Misha will smile and say,

Ari (as Misha) 

Yes, I would love that, Xoc. You would be a great help. Simon Scotch, what are your plans?

Hallie 

Hopper has been thinking, and his foot is tapping a little bit with anxiety. Since Mauve and Mako appeared as the obsidian people, he's been kind of absentmindedly fiddling with his pin that Mako made, and he looks up as if he's been roused from some inner thought and  he goes…

[00:35:00] 

[The music ends.] 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I guess I gotta...is there anyone, is everyone on the middle floor? Can everyone get to the escape pods oh FUCK Cecilos is downstairs. I gotta, I gotta go get Cecilos, he's in car jail and it is largely my fault that he is in car jail.

Tom (as Xoc) 

And Vera. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

And Vera is down there. What do we want to do with Vera? Yeah, we can't just leave on the...on the ship right? But we have...but she's also a living person, so we can't just, uh, I mean, I know she's part of a terrorist organization and she's probably just going to try some version of the plan that she just tried again eventually because she's all about patience and all that, but we can't just leave her. What should we do with Vera?

Tom (as Xoc) 

Given the circumstances. I'm hoping she'll at least cooperate with escaping the boat. I think we can afford to take her along and try to figure the rest of it out later. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Okay? Okay. Yeah, I can–I can...okay. I'm gonna go down to the third deck and I'm going to get Cecilos and I'm gonna get Vera.

Kyle 

[The dramatic, intense orchestral music begins again.]

And suddenly the ship shudders as another spider goes inside of it. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

All right? Let's go.

Tom (as Xoc) 

Right. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Let's go, uh. Be safe everybody.

Tom (as Xoc) 

You too. 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'll see you soon. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Yeah, we'll be coming back.

[The music intensifies.]

Kyle 

[The music ends.] 

Hello and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends episode 55, Crime and Courtship part 19. I'm your GM Kyle, and our intro is "Friends" by Miracle of Sound. So, uh, I think now as I had mentioned previously, it's a bit self-evident why this episode is a bit late. 

This is by far our longest episode, five hours and seven minutes worth of audio, raw audio, that I had to compact into what we have here. That's about two and a half times the length of a normal episode's worth of audio that I was working with, but I thought it was really important to release this all as one big episode because everything kind of just blended together so well.

And because we've got an extra big episode, we've got an extra big batch of announcements to talk about. I'm going to start with the most important one, so make sure to listen to the first two if you're going to skip ahead. The first announcement is this episode involves our characters kind of running all over the Prodigious, and if you don't have a perfect memory of how the Prodigious is set up like someone like I who has spent hours working on it would, I've put a map of the Prodigious in the show notes below. Just so you have a vague idea where folks are. It's not necessary for the episode, but it could be helpful.

In addition to that map, either as part of it or a separate link, I haven't made it yet, I am also going to include a list of all the NPCs that are relevant to today's episode, just because there are  going to be so many bouncing around I want to be able to help make it a little more manageable. 

In addition to the map and NPC list, down in the links below you will find our 2020 listener survey. The survey is open until Friday, April 17th, so that's a little less than two weeks from now. And it is extremely helpful to giving us an idea of what kind of folks listen to our show, what do they like about the show, what can we improve? So if you have ten minutes to spare, it would really mean the world to us. Every question is optional and if you submit, you get the chance to win one of five qwhale sticker packs as drawn by our artist Mandy Robertson.

And you also get the chance to win one of eight copies of the first issue of Mandy's comic Dont Cry Witch. It is a fun teen supernatural ghost story that's an awful lot of fun, and for a single panel, you may just see a Quest Friends character in that issue. 

So again, a link to that 2020 listener survey is below. If you submit that survey and include your email address, you will get a chance to win one of those prizes. 

All right, two more quick announcements. The first one is that we actually have a name from the name pool this episode! The name pool is a tool I use to determine names for items, events, locations, characters when I don't already have one on hand. Folks get on the name pool by tweeting or tumbling out at us with the hashtag Quest Friends, and today's name person was Redd's blessing, which is named for chaosflight on Tumblr. 

Thanks so much for talking about us online, chaosflight, and I hope you enjoyed your name being on the show. 

And finally, finally, this is the last thing. Tom and I have been streaming a lot more! We've been inside. I normally travel but now that I'm home, I mean I might as well do something when I'm not, uh, editing. But you can go check out our social medias if you want to learn about our regular streams. The one I want 

[00:40:00] 

to talk about now, is that starting this Sunday, April 12th at 2 PM Central Time on every Sunday, I am going to start playing through the hero story of Sonic Adventure 2. 

This does have role-playing connotations, I promise. But yeah, so if you want to just hang out on a Sunday afternoon, I figured that was a nice, you know, lazy time, check us out on twitch.tv/QuestFriends, we'll be playing Sonic. 

So that was our four things for the day: Map of the Prodigious, 2020 survey, Redd's blessing, and Sonic Adventure 2 stream.

Thank you so much for your patience while this episode got out and I will see you for our next episode, titled Misha's Memory Part One. 

[Gentle piano music begins to play–it sounds grimly determined, but somehow hopeful.]

In two weeks on Monday, April 20th. I'll see you then.

[The music intensifies.]

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

Elee, you rush towards where the escape pods are. It's hard to see people through all of the pipes of the mail tubes, but you do make out a vast majority of the students.

[Raucous, panicked screaming.]

There's a whole lot of clamoring, people are trying to get into the escape pods while being pushed back by the two armored zhev, and Jebediah's like,

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

Everyone, everyone. Please be quiet!

Kyle 

And you see next to him, Rei is trying to figure out what's going on. All of the unarmored zhev that have been pulled in are within the crowd themselves, they're intermingled, trying desperately to get into the ship. Amongst them, the person trying their hardest to get into the ship is Goldstone, but notably the first people you see are, you see Soe, Everett, Jesse, Q-BO, and Meeghan, are all waiting by the escape pods kind of in their own corner, just anxiously figuring out what to do. 

In fact, I'd say Jesse has probably called a team huddle. 

[The screaming and yelling fades.]

Emily 

All right. Can I rule that Goldstone is trying to get on to the escape pods in between where Rei and I are?

Kyle 

Yeah, I mean Rei's right next to Jebediah trying to figure things out. She's trying to keep order as well, and he's like pushing past all of the students. 

Hallie

[Exasperated.] God.

Emily

All right.

Kyle 

[Crosstalking.] Trying to make his way to the front.

Hallie

[Quietly.] Fuck Goldstone. 

Emily 

I want to grab Goldstone by the collar and drag him towards Rei and Jebediah.

Kyle (as Professor Garry Goldstone) 

[Lively bagpipe music begins to play.] 

Now, what's the–what are you doing here? I'm trying to–

Emily (as Elee) 

[The music ends abruptly.] 

[Crosstalking.] Shut up. 

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

He shuts up. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Keep quiet. 

Kyle 

He keeps quiet. 

Emily 

All right. I want to keep one hand, like, on the back of his collar so he can't run as I'm talking to Rei. Just to keep him in line, keep him in check.

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Yeah, you walk up to Rei, and you see that she is talking to Kentrim, who's trying to like really be like,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

I should be in line. I should be up there!

Kyle 

He's actually grabbed one of the unarmored zhev and is like,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

This is actually my niece! And so we should get priority on the ship. 

Hallie

I'm all she has in the world. 

Tom 

Wait, did Kentrim say that?

Kyle 

Yeah, Kentrim is trying to do "I'm all she has in the world thing" from Titanic. 

Hallie

Yeah.

Emily (as Elee) 

Rei? Um!

Kyle (as Ramya) 

Oh–Elee! I'm so glad to see that you're safe. 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'm glad to see that you're safe, too. That, um, apocrita that I mentioned, the cloud of spiders? It's here and it's trying to consume everyone. So that's an issue. 

Kyle (as Ramya) 

Yeah. Have you seen Sera anywhere? 

Emily (as Elee) 

Yeah. She's going down to the third deck with Hopper–

Kyle (as Ramya) 

[Crosstalking, annoyed.] God damn it.Of course, she of course, she's going down there. That's fine. [Clears her throat.]

Kyle 

And she starts rolling up her sleeves like someone about to go swimming.

Emily (as Elee) 

Rei. 

Kyle (as Ramya) 

Yes. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Deep breath.

Kyle (as Ramya) 

[Sighs.]

Emily (as Elee) 

Look, they're handling things where they are. What we need to do: get a head count of the students, get them into the escape pods. Misha is going to try to take care of getting the ship started back up again, but we need to make sure all the kids are getting out of here 

Kyle 

And Kentrim stares at you. 

[Ominous music plays very briefly.]

When you say Misha's going up to the relay in order to try to fix the ship. 

Emily 

Can I roll a perception check? 

Kyle 

Yes. 

Emily 

[Dice roll.] 

That is a twelve.

Kyle 

You don't get a bead on it. He, he wants to get off 

[00:45:00] 

this boat. 

Tom

[Suspicious.] Mmm. 

Emily 

All right. Well...

Tom

Mmm. 

Kyle 

I mean he seems cross, he seems upset about that, but.

Emily 

Yeah. 

Tom 

[Increasingly suspicious.] Hmm. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Hey, Kentrim, why don't you, uh, get on there? In one of the first pods.

Kyle (as a Zhev)

[Insistent electronic warbling noises.] 

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

Yes. Unfortunately, we must consider discretion. These are on the outermost side of the vessel. They are not operational and...

Kyle 

And he leans in to you.

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

[In a quieter voice.] And I don't think we have enough. 

Emily (as Elee) 

[Sharply.] What do you mean by that, sir? 

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

[Blustering.] There are a lot of stowaways on the ship!

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

And it was not accounting for those. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Can we squish? Can we just stuff them in there?

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Wait, why should I be squishing and having to rub arms with the third deck? Let the first deck on!

[Students yelling in the background.] 

I can't believe this! They're gonna force us all the go into those pods and die!

Kyle 

And everyone just starts panicking.

[Intense, high tempo orchestral music begins to play.]

And at that point, we're going to move forward to Xoc and Misha. You are in the courtyard, and there are a series of staircases that lead up to the observatory. And from there, you can get onto the top of the ship.

Hallie 

By the way, I forgot to specify–Ness also goes with them. 

Ari 

Oh, yeah!

Kyle 

Okay, so Ness, Misha, and Xoc. And it's a bit, it's a bit difficult. You can see the whole breadth of the storm from where you are, because it's this big window, and occasionally bits of the cloud have like, gone through the windows and created these like spikes, or um, tentacles that have slammed onto and grabbed the ship at the observatory. Yeah, and in fact, roll me three speed defenses.

Ari 

Both of us?

Kyle 

Yeah.

Tom 

 Am I able to activate my resonance field? 

Kyle 

Yes. 

Tom 

Okay. In that case, I'm going to spend a level of effort on each one of these.

[The music fades.] 

[Several dice roll.] 

Ari 

Twelve, thirteen, and a twelve.

Tom 

[Excitedly.] Ohh! A thirteen, a fifteen, and a nat twenty.

Hallie 

Nice. 

Tom 

Each with a level of effort applied on them. 

Kyle 

[The music resumes.] 

Okay, as you're climbing up at various parts the ship starts falling apart. So at one point, the floor caves out from under you and you're able to deftly jump on top of that, at another, some of the, another tentacle slams and right by your face, and you're able to dodge underneath it. And in the last one, you can see that it occasionally tries to make soldiers, so some of the slitted glass comes in to make a soldier, but you Xoc identify that quickly and you're able to actually control the way it's making that shape, and it just makes a little ladder that you're able to climb higher up on. 

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Kyle 

And that will be your nat twenty.

Tom 

Nice.

[The music fades.] 

Ari 

If Xoc isn't holding him and if he wants to because he's way smaller, I want to Misha to be holding Ness while trying to go up. 

Hallie 

Yeah, Ness was really excited about the spiders earlier, but then seeing them he's not as fond of them. So he actually will already be trying to clamber up to anyone's shoulders because he doesn't want to be on the ground.

Ari (as Misha) 

Worry not, Ness. We got you. We won't let you out of our sight again. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

We'll be careful. But also, don't let the spiders touch you. They can hurt machines as well as organics.

Hallie 

At "they can hurt machines as well as organics," Ness will kind of like scooch into Misha's shoulders a little bit more.

Tom

Aww!

Hallie 

And he'll say like, 

Hallie (as Ness) 

Can you feel them? 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Ah, I mean I kind of did. I don't know if the experience will be different for you.

Hallie (as Ness) 

I could feel the beetles. 

Tom 

You'll probably feel the spiders too.

Hallie (as Ness) 

Fuck.

Kyle (as Sera) 

Fuck!

Kyle 

[Almost disconcertingly cheery music begins to play.] 

Kyle (as Sera) 

Fuck. Fuck! Fuuuck.

Kyle 

Hop, you and Sera are down on the third deck, and she is looking at the runners which she usually attaches her wheelchair to to move around, and they are just completely busted.

[The music fades.] 

They're cracked all over. 

Hallie

[Glumly.] Ohh no.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Uhh...is, is that okay? It's not okay because you're yelling fuck but is, is there a way to make it okay? 

Kyle (as Sera) 

No, it's, it's fine, it's fine. I just...spent a real long time on those. Let's...get going. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Okay.

Kyle 

And so, where are you running Hop?

Hallie 

To the car jail area. 

Kyle 

All right. So you're making your way through the car jail. It is weird because the third deck was always kind of shitty and it always had like that one flickering light.

Hallie 

Yeah.

Kyle 

Like, the lights never worked down here. But with the ship dead in the water, it is pitch black. You actually usually have to follow Sera's lead because she's so familiar with these hallways, she's able to maneuver without really being able to see them super well.

Hallie 

Okay.

Tom 

Do you have a glow globe in your pack? 

Hallie 

I was gonna say, I probably have one because I've never used it and they come standard in explorers packs.

Tom 

We're adventuring parties! We have torches. 

Kyle 

That's true. You got a little glow globe that you pull out and I'll say Chitters holds onto it.

Tom

Aww.

Kyle 

Which does block about half of it, because he's about the same size. 

Hallie 

I imagine it looks like when a Pokémon brings you a ball back in Sword and Shield, where it's on their back if they don't have like, arms to be able to do anything with it.

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

And you're making your way through, uh, through the hallways and 

[00:50:00] 

Sera's just murmuring,

Kyle (as Sera) 

This is not...this is not good. Ughhh. Because if they get off, but then this happens...augh, and then I don't know if we can do that, and...

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Interrupting.] Sera,I know that every part of our situation right now is bad. But what specifically are you talking about that's bad. 

Emily 

[Chuckles.] 

Kyle (as Sera) 

Don't worry about it. I'm figuring it out. Just– 

Kyle 

And she grabs her chair, and the wheels on the side suddenly turn in diagonally, and the front two wheels link together and form this one larger wheel. If you look this up online, it's either going to be called a racing wheelchair or a like, athletic wheelchair.

Hallie

[Whispering.] Nice.

Kyle 

And she says,

Kyle (as Sera) 

Just keep up!

Kyle 

And she grabs that chair, hits some rockets on the back, and she starts going double speed.

Hallie 

[Wryly.] Hopper tries to keep.

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Roll me, roll me a keep up. 

Hallie 

Oh nooo.

Ari

[Amused.] A keep up.

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

Sonic speed!

Hallie 

[Dice roll.] 

A two.

Ari

Oh noooo!

Tom

[Faintly.] Noo.

Kyle 

So you keep up but it's bad for Sera. 

Hallie 

Noooo! That was somehow the worst possible outcome. 

Kyle 

She disappears, and then suddenly you just hear a crash. And, and she's fine, but the chair's kind of like wedged into this part of the wall, and she's like, pulling it out. 

Kyle (as Sera) 

[Annoyed.] Well that wasn't there before.

Kyle 

And as you pull up the globe, you can see that it is not in fact part of the wall, but it's this shifting tentacle of obsidian glass. 

Hallie 

Oh God.

Emily

[Distressed noise.]

Hallie

[Thoughtfully.] Could I just stun it by hitting it with my shield really hard?

Kyle 

Ah, you can try. Yeah.

Hallie 

That's...that's all Hop's got. Okay. I'm gonna try to do that with a different die.

[Dice roll.] 

[Strained.] Four. 

Tom

Nooo.

Ari

Oh my god, Hallie, why! You were doing so good!

Hallie 

I know!

Ari 

What happened?

Hallie 

I don't know, these dice are going away. 

Kyle 

So you hit it, and it does nothing, because it's like a giant hallway sized thick tentacle. 

Hallie 

Well, he booped it really hard. 

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

That's like saying I'm gonna defeat Poseidon with this butter knife, but I'm gonna stab him real hard with it. 

Hallie 

Look, it was just a spur-of-the-moment reaction. He didn't know what else to do.

Kyle

But as–

Hallie 

[Crosstalking.] Oh, wait, I declare Sera innocent!

[Laughter from the party.] 

Ari 

You're innocent!

Kyle 

And as you hit it and it clangs, you hear some like, clattering from the other room and you hear a, 

Kyle (as Vespari)

Whaaa! 

[Whimsical accordion music begins to play.]

Tom 

I fucking knew it!

Kyle 

And you turn over and you hear that that sound came from the room you shared with Vespari. 

Tom 

I fucking knew he would have just gone back to...

Hallie

[Crosstalking, incredulous.] Is he in there?! Why is he in his room?! What! All right. With as much emotion as I just had, Hop goes,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Vespari?! 

Kyle 

And a head pokes out. 

Kyle (as Vespari)

Oh hello, friend!

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Crosstalking.] What are you doing down here? 

Kyle (as Vespari) 

Well, I heard the ship was collapsing so I was just gathering my things before we headed out.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Oh my god, Vespari. Forget about your things. Listen, we all have to get out. Come, come with me and Sera. Okay? 

Kyle (as Vespari) 

[Wistfully.] But I paid a lot of money on these things. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Strained.] What are your things? 

Kyle (as Vespari) 

Well, there's my card deck from Qi... 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Put them in your pocket.

Kyle (as Vespari) 

And my card deck from Charmonde...

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Put that in your pocket.

Kyle (as Vespari) 

And my card deck from Ig... 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Increasingly frantic.] Put that in your pocket.

Kyle (as Vespari) 

And my card deck from..

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Crosstalking.] Do you need more pockets?! I have pockets!

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Tom

Jesus fucking Christ.

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

And just like Hop... 

[Terrified screaming from the students.] 

Everyone is screaming on the main deck. Um, the only person who actually isn't saying anything as Sir Kentrim, who is very...quiet. And there is that little corner group huddle that's being led by Jesse that also is not yelling.

Emily 

All right.

Kyle 

And the zhev have also started to get more aggressive. They're like, pushing people back and they're like, grabbing people and they're getting pretty violent honestly.

Emily (as Elee) 

Jebediah, uh, you're in charge of the zhev, right?

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

So I have been informed. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Um, um, um, can you get them to do stuff? 

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

I can try. Please! Stop that. Stop that!

Kyle 

And you can see one of the dre–zhev has actually grabbed somebody and is like, grabbing them, dragging them–

[One loud scream cuts across the racket.] 

Screaming away from the room, and Jebediah's just following,

Kyle (as Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

Stop that, stop that!

Emily (as Elee) 

Stop being useless!

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

[The screaming fades.]

Emily 

Elee's trying to decide whether she should try to control the zhev, or whether she should go check on the kids doing something maybe sketch in the corner. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

Um, Goldstone. 

Kyle 

He just stares at you. 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'ma let you talk now, but you can't be screaming about how you need to get off the ship first, or I will stab you. 

Kyle (as Professor Garry Goldstone) 

[Strangled noise.]

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

That's nice. All right. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'm gonna have you scream something else instead. Again, or I will stab you. Understand? Nod. 

Kyle (as Professor Garry Goldstone) 

[Strained noise of agreement.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

You're nodding? Okay, great. You're gonna tell people to calm down and to get in orderly lines. And then you're going to try to go get the zhev to stop throwing people around, and then you'll get to be one of the professors on the escape pods. 

[00:55:00] 

Yeah. Yeah, okay. 

Kyle 

He...

Emily (as Elee) 

[Crosstalking.] Go do that.

Kyle 

And he goes to do that. 

[Triumphant, inspiring music swells.]

So Goldstone stands up, builds up some courage. Thinks, escape pod, escape pod, escape pod. Stands in front of everyone, makes himself very authoritative, and simply says, 

Kyle (as Professor Garry Goldstone) 

[Shrilly.] We're all gonna die!

Hallie

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

[The screaming resumes.] 

Elee's gonna grab them again and stand up where he was. 

Emily (as Elee) 

We are not going to die. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

We're not gonna die!

Kyle 

And everyone,

Kyle (as an aneen)

[Frantically.] Are we gonna die? Aneeeeen!

Emily (as Elee) 

No!

Kyle (as an aneen)

Are we gonna die? Aneeeeeeen!

Emily (as Elee) 

Calm down!

Kyle 

Uhh...

Emily 

[Crosstalking.] And Elee's, herself, getting a little bit worked up and she's trying really hard not to. 

Kyle 

And you get a bonus from having Soe as your friend, but I'm gonna leave that to all the children. 

Emily 

Okay. 

Kyle 

Suddenly, you hear Jesse go up, and they're like,

Kyle (as Jesse)

Everyone. Everyone!

Kyle 

And nobody's listening and suddenly you hear a,

Kyle (as Everett) 

[Quietly scoffs.] 

[Authoritatively.] Shut up!

[The screaming stops abruptly.]

Kyle 

And everyone gets silent as Everett just stands there, defiantly, in front of everyone, and then he motions to Jesse.

[Upbeat synth-rock music with a jazzy guitar line begins to play.]

Kyle (as Jesse)

We've talked with the Professor. He's the smartest person on the boat!

Kyle (as Q-BO) 

I do have the most thorough amount of knowledge, but I do not know how to apply it as well as those around me.

Kyle (as Jesse) 

And, and, and he figured out that if we get everyone to get packed together really, really tight, like a big hug.

Emily

Aww.

Kyle (as Jesse) 

Then we can get everyone in the escape pods, but we, we need to get tight 'cause we have just enough escape pods for everyone.

Kyle 

[Scattered frustrated noises.]

And you hear there's some grumbling, like ugh, I'm not so sure about this, grumble, grumble, grumble. I don't wanna...

Kyle (as someone who sounds suspiciously like Captain Jebediah Ishmael) 

[Blustering quietly.] Third deck people are gross.

Tom 

[Incredulous.] Jebediah? 

Emily and Hallie

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

Ahh, no, this is Jebediah's...son.

[Laughter from the party.] 

Ari

Son.

Kyle 

No, sorry his daughter. Her name is...Jebemiah.

Hallie

[Faintly.] Fuck you.

Tom 

Is Meeghan still alive during all this?

Kyle 

And Soe and Meeghan just looked at each other, and Soe says,

Kyle (as Soe) 

[Glumly.] Well this isn't going great at all. 

Kyle (as Meeghan) 

Yeah people just aren't listening for us. Time for Plan B?

Kyle (as Soe) 

Yeah! Time for Plan B.

Kyle 

And they start going out and gently escorting the unarmored zhev into the escape pods. 

[The music fades.] 

Which does two things, one to keeps the unarmored zhev safe, and second off, the assholes are like hey, why do they get to go in there? I gotta go in there! And people start defiantly like going into the escape pods. And Elee, what are you doing during this time? 

Emily 

Elee's just like, filled with pride. I mean, it doesn't look like they need help getting people on there. Right? 

Kyle 

No.

Emily 

I guess I'm gonna go just kind of check on people? See how the head count's going, and make sure if they're struggling with anyone they, Elee can kind of muscle them in a little bit. 

Kyle 

So yeah, you check on everyone. They seem to be calming down a bit now that there's a plan for getting people in, they're actually making a queue, but something weird is there's one person you want to check up on, because he was the first who wanted to get on the... 

Emily 

[Crosstalking.] He's being sketch. 

Kyle 

Oh, that's the thing about Kentrim.

[The ominous music begins to play again.]

He's not there. 

Emily

Mmm.

Tom

[Thoroughly unsurprised.] Mm-hmm.

Kyle 

And I need every single player to roll defense.

Emily

[Frustrated noise.] What is he doing.

Kyle 

Elee and Hop, it's speed, Xoc and Misha, it's might.

Tom 

[Distressed.] Might!

[The music ends.] 

I can't...I can't use my residence field on that. 

[Dice roll.] 

Ari 

Um, I want to spend one level of effort on whatever the fuck.

Tom 

Uhhh. I guess. I'll spend a level of effort too.

[Dice roll.] 

Ari 

A twelve.

Hallie 

A four. 

Emily 

An eleven.

Tom 

[Glumly.] I got six.

Ari 

[Teasing.] I got six! 

Kyle 

[The music resumes.]

Xoc and Misha. 

Ari 

Oh boy.

Kyle 

You hear a, [Hissing noise.]

And you see the tear gas canister that the zhev used to use, and it explodes in both of your faces.

Tom 

Motherfucker.

Kyle 

And down beneath you, you're going to see Jebediah and the zthev that he had followed looking really alarmed, and Jebediah is reaching for the ceremonial sword he has.

Tom

[Whispering frantically.] Whaaat the fuck.

Kyle 

And the zhev is reaching for more of the tear gas canisters, which seem to be missing, and you just hear,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Xoc!

Kyle 

And you see Sir Kentrim armed with tear gas canisters and a sword running up towards both of you.

Tom 

Oh my fucking god.

Emily 

[Laughter.]  

Kyle 

Elee, you noticed Sir Kentrim was missing, and you go to like, follow Kentrim, but suddenly you hear a scream in the crowd. And as you turn around, you feel a fist hit you in the side of your head. You are thrown across the room for fourteen points of damage.

Emily

[Aghast.] Fourteen!

Hallie

[Startled.] Jesus.

Kyle 

And you see coming through the crowd this large, imposing woman with her muscles breaking through her clothing, made entirely out of obsidian glass.

Tom

Ohhhhh no.

Hallie

What?

Emily

Do I also have to 

[01:00:00] 

fight Mauve and Mako after this? [Weakly.] My might is getting low. 

Kyle 

So that's the interesting thing, right? Mauve and Mako were with Aegon. Sue is now fighting you, obsidian Sue. Marv...well, he hasn't been brought out before so it seems like Aegon might not want to bring out Marv. But wasn't there one other member of the heroes of Navarene?

[The music fades.] 

Hop, what did you roll? 

Tom

[With dawning realization.] Oh motherfucker. 

Emily

Noooooo...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 

Ari

Ohhhhh no!

Emily

No, no, no. No, no, no!

Ari

No, not this!

Hallie 

I rolled a four...without any effort. [Weakly.] But I am trained.

Tom

He's got a shield!

Ari

He's got a shield! 

Emily

He has a shield! You see my face?

Kyle 

So Hop.

[Low, intense music begins to play, slowly building. It has an anticipatory, unsettling edge.] 

You hear some trembling underneath you after you're finally done with Vespari, and you hear this horrific scraping. 

[The sound of metal dragging across metal.]

As it seems like something is trying to chew through the Prodigious itself. And finally, you are knocked back for fourteen points of damage.

Hallie

[Whispering.] Jesus.

Kyle 

As the gnawing and biting face of an obsidian xi-drake bursts through the floor.

Hallie 

Jesus!

Kyle 

And Inuki slams into the hallway with an outpouring of spiders gushing through the newly created hole in the Prodigious' hull.

[The music intensifies.] 

Hallie 

Okay. Fourteen was all of my might.

Ari 

Oh god!

Hallie 

But I'm fine. 

Was it just me who got hit by the xi-drake?

Kyle 

Yeah. The other ones are fine. 

Hallie 

Cool. Good.

Emily 

[Faintly.] Hop's gonna die.

Hallie 

[Laughing slightly.] That's fine. 

Emily 

[Slightly anxious.] Does Hop die here?

Hallie 

[Frazzled noise.]

Emily 

He's not gonna die, right?

Hallie

He's not gonna die.

Emily 

You're not gonna kill off a player character, right? 

Hallie

[Frazzled noise.]

Kyle 

Well, we'll find out later! Elee, I think it's good to start with you. So you're in the crowd, which is now scattering, and you've got obsidian Sue in front of you ready to take another strike. 

Emily 

[The music ends.] 

Um...do I have time to yell something? 

Kyle 

Yeah. 

Emily 

I just want to yell to everyone who had kind of taken charge, so, Rei, and Soe, and Meeghan, and Jesse, and Everett.

Emily (as Elee) 

Keep control of them!

Emily 

And I want to turn back to Sue and...

[Strained laugh.] See what my abilities are. I would like to...I want to use my chair. 

Kyle 

Okay?

Emily 

And I would like to put a level of effort in. 

Kyle 

Okay.

Emily 

You're so pleased with yourself [Dice roll.] that I'm really concerned.

Tom 

He has good reason to be.

Emily 

It's a...sixteen?

Kyle 

Describe how you hit her and how much damage that does.

Emily 

So...

[Hard rock music begins to play–it sounds like a wrestler's entrance music.] 

Elee gets her chair back over her shoulder, and...is there like another word for swing? Because I feel like I've just been using the word swing. She... 

Hallie 

Clobbers.

Emily 

Yeah, and it does ten damage.

Kyle 

You hit her, but she doesn't seem to feel that much. The glass almost seems to adjust and like, cushion some of the impact causing less damage to happen. But you do hit her hard and you kind of like push her back a few feet into the crowd. 

Emily 

No! I don't want to push her at the crowd!

Kyle 

She's gonna do the same thing regardless. 

Emily 

Okay.

Kyle 

Don't worry about it. 

Emily 

I'm very worried about it!

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

Which all scurries away, except for one poor aneen who she just picks up...

Ari

Noo!

Kyle

[Crosstalking.] And throws at you.

Ari

Noooo, not the aneeeeen...

The Party

[Mournfully.] Aneeeeeen.

Emily

Can I like–catch it?

Kyle

Yeah!

Emily 

[Dice roll.] 

Fifteen?

Kyle 

So the aneen comes at you, hits you hard in the chest, and just both of you fall over. You take ten points of damage. 

Tom

Ohh.

Emily 

[Distressed.] Ten!

Kyle 

And so does the aneen.

[Distressed noises from the party.] 

Kyle 

The aneen will be fine. He's going to live, but he did–

[Loud beep.]

Tom

[The music stops.] 

[Distressed.] What the fuck!

Hallie and Emily

[Strained.] Ohhh no!

[Noises of distress from the party. They sound surprised but nobody sounds angry or deeply upset.]

Tom

What the fuck!

[Weak laughter from the party.]

Ari

Kyle why!

Hallie

What the fuck is the matter with you!

Tom

Ahhhh...

Hallie

No!

Tom

Can I x-card that? That's, that's a little too horrifying for me. 

Ari

What is this Ryuichi plot? I don't like it. 

Kyle

Okay, is it alright if I break a bone? 

Tom

[Calmer.] Yeah, yeah, some broken bones. 

Kyle 

All right, and the aneen is alive, he's fine, but you did like break some of the bones in his wrist. So he's not going to Regionals this year. 

Emily (as Elee)  

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to catch you!

Kyle (as an aneen)

[Weakly.] Aneeeeen. 

Tom

[Crosstalking.] Do aneens have arms?

Kyle

They have little T-Rex arms.

Emily

[Crosstalking.] They have little tiny–

[Laughter.] Tiny T-Rex arms.

Ari

Yeah.

Tom

He broke a tiny wrists!

Hallie

They're really good for sports!

Tom

No going to Regionals.

[Laughter.] 

Can't do it! Not today.

Kyle 

Meanwhile, Xoc. 

[Quick, dramatic piano music begins to play, with the fast-paced energy of a chase.] 

You can feel the supports of the stairs being cut as Sir Kentrim is running up.

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Xoc! You stole the proligarchy from me! You stole my school from me! You won't steal my vengeance!

Hallie (as Ness) 

Who is 

[01:05:00] 

this loser?

Kyle 

And Sir Kentrim is making his way up to you. And in fact, one of the supports cuts from right beneath where you're standing, so I'm going to need both of you to roll some sort of defense to get out of there.

[The music fades.] 

Tom 

Uh, will this count as int defense because of my, my resonance field? 

[Dice roll.] 

It's too late. I'm doing it anyway. Eleven, with one level of effort.

Ari 

I don't think I can justify that so I'm going to do speed defense instead, without any effort because... 

Tom 

Misha, no.

Ari 

I am not a speedy speed boy.

[Dice roll.] 

Twelve! I just keep rolling twelves and thirteens this session. 

Hallie 

[Dryly.] What was that be like? 

Kyle 

Okay, both of you take four points of damage. 

Ari 

This is, this is fine still.

Kyle 

As you fall and slam onto the walkway in front of where he is standing, his sword raised. 

Tom 

What the fuck is this? This is not the moment I had planned for Xoc. Xoc is going to pick himself up, dust himself off, have the staff are in front of him and say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

Misha, you need to keep moving to get the power turned on so we can get people off this boat now. Ness, buddy. 

[Rock music with an edgy flair begins to play.]

You want to fight this bully?

Hallie 

Ness cracks his knuckles. 

Tom 

Does Ness have knuckles? 

Hallie 

No, he does not, but he cracks them anyway and says, 

Hallie (as Ness) 

Who's this punk? 

Tom (as Xoc) 

Oh, he, uh... 

Hallie (as Ness) 

[Crosstalking.] Oh wait, this is the goat man! I was looking for you everywhere!

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Glad to see you're a fan. Sorry I'll have to kill you.

[The music intensifies.]

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

Hop. So you're between the spider and a dragon place.

Hallie 

Yeah.

Kyle 

What are you doing pal? 

Hallie 

So the, the xi-drake, it just burst through the floor, right? 

Kyle 

Yeah, your room is busted now, all of Vespari's cards are just scattered all over the place. 

Hallie 

Noooo! Oh, I told him to put them in his pocket. Okay, so Hop will...actually. Kyle, you ever played the game Rush Hour? 

[Music with a poppy electronic beat starts–it has a very Tron feel.]

In Rush Hour, there's like, a little car and it's blocked in by all these other cars and trucks, and you got to move everything around. It's almost like a slider puzzle? Hopper knows, having now had all the might taken out of him from one hit from this creepy dragon thing, he probably can't fight this head-on. 

So what I would like to do is somehow trap him in a Rush Hour-like puzzle where he can't get out from between the cars, and I'd like to use analytical combat to do that. 

Now the only way I could think of to make the xi-drake flail about and move cars the way that Hop wants the cars to be moved so that they stack on top of the xi-drake, is to have the xi-drake like, chase him or something. So I'm going to activate analytical combat and try to do that. 

Kyle 

And what are, what are, what are you having Sera and Vespari do?

Hallie 

As he's working through this plan in his mind, looking at the cars and trying to figure out how they would stack on each other, thinking this is, this is the best bet. This is what I have. He's going to turn to Sera and Vespari and just go,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Sera, find the Ladybug. Find Cecilos.

Hallie 

And he tosses her the glow globe. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I got this. 

Kyle 

All right. Give me your roll, but I'm It's a parkour applies. 

Hallie 

[The music fades.] 

[Cheers.] Woo-hoo!. Okay, I'd like to put two tiers of effort into this, please.

Kyle 

And are you trained or specialized in–you're specialized in parkour?

Hallie 

I am specialized in parkour.

Kyle 

So this is four steps easier.

Tom 

Thank fucking god.

Hallie 

This is four steps easier. Okay? Okay. Okay 

Emily 

[Quietly.] You got this. 

Hallie 

Okay. 

[Dice roll.] 

[Strained.] It's a three.

Ari

Hallie whyyyy!

Emily

Nooo.

Tom

Well, that was equivalent to a fifteen, right?

Hallie 

All my dice hate me! I can't do anything in this game. I'd like to use XP to reroll. 

Kyle 

How are you going to use your XP? 

Hallie 

[The music resumes.]

Let's say Hopper like, trips or something. And then when he trips, now that he's at a different angle, he sees a better way he could go about doing this. So when he gets up, he's got new resolve and a new plan, but I'm gonna roll over here to see if it makes a difference.

[Dice roll.] 

Well, that's a ten.

Tom

[Relieved sigh.]

Hallie 

So it's better.

Kyle 

Describe how Hop parkours his way around so this, uh, xi-drake traps itself. 

Hallie 

How he...par-cars.

Tom

Heh.

Hallie 

So he, um, Hop makes eye contact with the xi-drake, and I assume he doesn't have to do any like nana-nana-nana type thing people do in cartoons because the xi-drake's just gonna come after you.

Kyle 

Aegon knows who his enemies are. 

Hallie 

Okay. 

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

Sorry, Loell knows who his enemies are.

Hallie 

Who never trusted the Loell? It was me. 

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

So Hop, after making eye contact, he just books it down, like,  space between the cars and as the xi-drake barrels after him, he already kind of figured out the xi-drake doesn't have a lot of like, grace when it moves. I mean, I'm sure it's graceful in its way, but like it's hitting things. It doesn't care about what it's hitting on the way. 

So the cars are angled and stacking on each other until the stack just gets a little bit higher, and then Hop dives through a hole that's made by the stacked cars. And when the xi-drake bursts through the hole, it interrupts the stack that it just made, and the stack falls in just such a way it all traps the xi-drake underneath it. But Hop, being small can just...

Kyle 

[Crosstalking.] When it bursts, you whip out your shield, turn around, and the force hits the shield and propels you all the way back to the Ladybug. 

[01:10:00] 

Hallie 

Thank you for making that cooler. 

Kyle and Emily

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

That's much cooler. 

Kyle 

All right, Elee. 

Emily 

Elee has realized this isn't going well. It's absorbing her hits and there are a bunch of kids surrounding this fight. She can't just keep it going. So she is, uh, is going to use the ability Fusion, where she can apply the effect of a cypher artifact to her body.

Kyle 

[Haunting, unsettling music begins to play and slowly intensifies.]

What cypher you putting on your body now.

Emily 

The cypher that I've been hoarding, and I thought I would continue to hoard it, but this feels like maybe a good time to break it out. I got it in the Clockwork City: a bag with a hamster in it labeled "It consumes."

[The music intensifies and abruptly quiets, turning into a low, thrumming drumbeat that sounds like the rhythmic beating of a heart.]

Kyle 

You apply this thing to yourself. It starts to wrap itself around you–it starts to consume you, but leaves your head open and then cementing on your stomach, you see two tiny little hamster arms, two tiny little hamster legs, and a mouth that's ready to consume. 

[The music ends.] 

Tom 

Oh, ohhhh, what the fuck is this? 

Hallie 

It's like a Me costume you'd put on a Me. 

Kyle 

Is that okay that I did that?

Emily 

Why?!

Yeah, this is fine. Um, I just need to revise. Um, well, it's already horrifying. 

[A creepy piano melody begins to play.]

Elee reaches onto her stomach and pries it open.

Tom

Ughhh.

Ari

God!

Emily 

To reveal emptiness. Nothingness. And she walks forward to consume.

Tom

Mustang!

Kyle 

Give me a roll. cyphers automatically work, but this one will be better if you roll better. 

Emily 

Okay? Wait, wait, wait–where did it go...there, I found it. I lost my die for a second.

[Dice roll.] 

And it was in my tea mug. 

[With delight.] It's a seventeen!

Tom and Ari

Ohhh.

Emily 

How did we get here? 

Kyle 

So you're going to run up to obsidian Sue, who's gonna try the punch you. And you just hear, as the fist goes into the stomach, and starts to disappear inside of it,

Kyle (as the hamster)

[In a high-pitched voice that gets progressively deeper.] Hungry, hungry, hungry!

Hungry!

Hungry.

Hungry.

HUNGRY.

Kyle 

And as the fist goes further in, the little hamster arms and the little hamster legs start to grow bigger and beefier.

Tom

[Horrified.] Ohh.

Kyle 

Until eventually you're standing on this thing that was attached to your stomach, and you've just got Elee basically piggybacking on this beefy...

Tom

[Whispering.] What the fuck.

Kyle 

 Angry hungry hamster. 

Tom

Oh, what the fuck is this? 

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

[Weakly.] This is fine.

Kyle 

And meanwhile Sue, obsidian Sue, backs up, and you can see she takes some of the obsidian tiles and uses it to replace her, uh, arm that was taken, which will remove her armor, but she is pissed. 

[The music fades.] 

So she turns over.

Emily 

No, no.

Kyle 

Grabs one of the escape pods, the empty one. Yanks it out and swings at you. 

Emily 

This is fine. How many speed–I would like to put two levels of speed effort to dodge.

[Dice roll.] 

[Relieved sigh.] It's a nineteen. 

Kyle 

Yeah, how do you dodge this? 

Emily 

Am I still attached to these beefy hamster arms? I'm not sure what's going on anymore. 

Kyle 

I will say since it is a cypher, you have now separated from beef hamster and beef hamster is now its own entity. 

Emily 

Can it just be like, going after Sue? Because I don't want it to go after the kids. 

Kyle 

Okay. I got, I got an idea. I think this will help resolve it if that's okay. 

Emily 

Yeah.

Kyle 

So as the swing happens, you go to dodge, and you just fly out of beef hamster as the thing swings at him and slams beef hamster, which congeals back into a tiny little stuffed hamster. And now it's a little stuffed animal. So great. You really kicked her ass. You had dodged an attack...wait, but didn't Q-BO say there were just enough escape pods for everyone. 

Hallie

[Dismayed.] Ohhh, no!

Tom

Can the minor effect be saving the escape pod?

Emily 

[Frantically.] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tom

[Weakly.] Can it be saving the escape pod?

Ari

Ohh god.

Emily 

That's a good point, Tom. I have a minor effect. 

Kyle 

That's a valid point. Do you want to save the escape pod? 

Emily 

[Slightly exasperated.] Yes. 

Kyle 

All right. I will say it's not major, so you'll have to get it back in, but I will say that Sue hits the thing on the ground, it kind of skids off to the side. The escape pod is still there. It's still, like, intact but it is just lying in the middle of the main space now. 

[Intense, percussion heavy music begins to play.]

All right. Meanwhile, we are back to Sir Kentrim having a little bit of a fight. So Xoc was like I'm gonna stand there, Misha get out of here. Uh, Misha. Are you doing that? You doing something? What are you doing.

Ari 

I don't know. Like on the one hand, I want to punch Sir Kentrim, but on the other hand, I think that that might make everything worse. Maybe? You know what? Yeah. I think I'm going to do that. Misha's gonna clench their fists and look at 

[01:15:00] 

Sir Kentrim. 

Ari (as Misha) 

Haven't you done enough damage? Why are you so fixated with doing this? Haven't you realized that we are in a, in a really dangerous situation?

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

[Sneering.] You stay out of this. 

Ari 

Um, then Misha's gonna grab their ball of ants and toss it.

Tom

Ohhhh.

Emily 

Those ants are murderers. 

Ari 

[The music fades into "The Ants Go Marching," a military-style song with a rigid snare beat.]

Oh, and I'm going to say that before tossing the ball, they're going to look at Ness and say,

Ari (as Misha) 

These ants help defeat the lady that hurt you and they will now do the same job here. 

Hallie 

Ness goes,

Hallie (as Ness) 

Aww, metal! 

Ari (as Misha) 

Watch and, watch and learn!

Ari 

And, uh, and toss the ball.

Tom 

Watch and learn kid. 

Ari 

Into Sir Kentrim's face. 

Hallie 

Ness is so happy right now. He's, he's having good time, kind of. 

Ari 

Um, yeah,  so I'm gonna do fling. 

[Dice roll.] 

I got a sixteen.

[The music ends.] 

Kyle 

You didn't put any effort into that, did you. 

Ari 

[Hesitantly.] No? 

Kyle 

All right, the ants don't hurt him, but they just graze the side of his face before coming back to you. He's like,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

[Indignant.] Owww, what the hell!

Ari 

Misha's like, 

Ari (as Misha) 

This is just the beginning!

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Ari (as Misha) 

Take it from there!

Ari 

And then Misha is gonna try and book it. 

Hallie 

[Through laughter.] This is just the beginning! Turns, and runs.

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

Xoc and Ness, time to kick some ass. Remember, Ness will provide a, uh, asset to any attack Xoc does.

Hallie 

Yeah. 

Tom 

Ah, yeah. Anyway, anyway. Xoc wishes he had had more time to practice for sort of maneuver with Ness first, but he's like,

[Rock music with a driving guitar rhythm begins to play.]

Tom (as Xoc) 

 All right, buddy. Let's try this. 

Tom 

So Xoc's strong glass stuff is rotating around him for the resonance field. And Xoc is going to place Ness on the staff, and then use it to like, fling Ness directly into Kentrim's face.

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

Ness balls himself up like, an actual cannonball, for maximum impact. 

Tom 

And then while Ness, like, gets on board of Kentrim, and just attacks him, Xoc'll rush forward and try to like, lock the staff and the sword together. Because, because of how I'm doing this, can I roll intellect when I make the attack? Since I'm like...

Kyle

[Incredulous.] No!

[Laughter from the party.] 

Tom 

I'm flinging him–it's esotary powers! 

[The music ends.] 

Kyle 

Yeah, but the staff isn't–I guess if you're magically stopping his staff with your staff...sure, use intellect. 

Tom 

Okay. And it's two steps easier because of my effort and because of Ness. 

[Dice roll.] 

Got a fifteen.

Kyle 

Okay, that does work. So Ness, you just catapult at him, and then you're just–I guess scrambling around him?

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

Yeah.

Kyle 

Just like hitting him. 

Hallie 

Ness is, um, he's like I–I imagine the actual impact was like, directly in his gut.

Tom

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

Because that's funny to me. And then if Kentrim wheezes down like Louie does in that one episode of DuckTales like–

[Wheezes.]

It's my favorite part of the episode. 

Ari 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

So as he's wheezing, Xoc just like jumps on top and he's like, 

Hallie (as Ness) 

I'm over here! No, I'm not I'm over here! Ahhh!

Hallie 

He's like, jumping from body location to body location, like really, really fast like in a cartoon.

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

And he's making his own sound effects, like, ba-dap-bam-ba-dump-tump-tump-bah!

Ari 

I love it.

Kyle 

All right. And then meanwhile, Xoc, you stick the staff there by his?

Tom 

Yeah, I mostly just trying to like, I'm trying to prevent him from hitting Ness with the sword while Ness actually attacks him.

Hallie 

You're relying on Ness to do all of the work. 

Tom 

I, I wanted to give this moment to Ness. Like compared to obsidian Sue and obsidian Inuki, Kentrim is is a little bit beneath us as a villain, but I feel like this is a perfect time for Ness to, uh, show someone what he's got. 

Hallie 

That's fair. Hey, Kyle, this is important to me. What is Kentrim wearing. 

Kyle 

I guess his prom outfit? So like, he's got an ascot for sure. 

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

He just looks like Fred from Scooby-Doo probably but like with a shirt that's way too tight. 

Hallie 

I want to steal his ascot. 

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

It's stolen.

Hallie 

Woohoo!

[More intense orchestral music with heavy strings begins to play.] 

Somehow in the middle of this battle, Ness is going to fashion that ascot into an eyepatch, because his eye got shattered, and let's just rule of it wasn't fixed because he wants an eyepatch on it. Even if it was fixed, he's just gonna do that. 

Tom 

Yeah, can I rule that it was fixed, but Ness is like, yes. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Tom

But finally to fix that eye you never got–but it works just fine? I'll never see from this eye again. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

This is my life now! 

Kyle 

[The music fades.] 

Meanwhile, Misha, you are making your way off. You're pretty close to the top, and you get to the very top and you get to the ladder that's gonna take you up to the relay. Here's an issue though. Last time someone was at that relay, bad things happened. So it's locked. 

Ari 

It's locked. Well. 

Hallie

Nooo.

Ari 

That's fine, uh, because...uh, mm...oh, I don't have any lock picking things, do I. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Ari 

Ummm...so is it locked, like, with an actual lock pad, or is it an electronic lock, like a thing with a keypad or something? 

Kyle 

Let's say it's a manual padlock that has an electronic key code to it. 

Ari 

Well, because I have an ability called overload the device where I can infuse a power device of level three of lower, or lower, with more energy that it can handle. The affected the device is destroyed or disabled for at least one minute. So I can, I can try and basically explode this thing so I can open it and the lock doesn't.... 

Kyle 

Yeah, I like to imagine that Misha climbs up and goes 

[01:20:00] 

to like, push it up, sees the like, thing, and just sighs at it. And it just fizzles, has a little mini explosion, and falls to the ground.

Ari 

[Through laughter.] Just, just rolls their eyes like, ugh. And, yeah, just explodes as Misha is doing that.

Kyle 

Meanwhile someone else who is also rolling their eyes is Vera.

[Jazzy, almost Pink Panther-esque music plays; the kind that would be right at home in a mystery movie.]

Who is sitting next to Cecilos on the floor of...

Hallie 

[Incredulous.] They're in the same car? 

Kyle 

On the floor of the ladybug.

Hallie

Oh my god. 

Kyle 

She's not saying anything. She's just rolling her eyes. Meanwhile Cecilos is, 

Kyle (as Cecilos) 

[Breathlessly.] Oh, thank you so much accountant detective, engineer detective, helped unchain me from everything. Did you get the, uh, gift to my son? 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Yes, I did. We mailed it on time! It should get there on time. 

Kyle (as Cecilos) 

Okay. Thank you very much. I, I really appreciate it. Then I can, I can happily wait here until, uh, until the semester ends.

[Laughter from the party.] 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[With a sheepish laugh.] Huh, that's gonna be a problem actually, because the ship is going down? So we need to get everybody off and our best bet right now is to somehow drive this car through these very narrow hallways. 

Tom

Oh my god.

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

And how exactly do you plan on doing that without the keys?

Hallie

[In complete disbelief.] Who has the keys? 

Kyle

Uhh.

Hallie 

I didn't think about the keys.

Kyle 

I want to say you had to give it up like, to the valet. 

Hallie 

Who's the valet?!

Kyle 

It was one of the zhev. 

Hallie 

Okay, so Hop–who genuinely did not think about keys–just like, doesn't respond right away, and goes,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Can't you control machines? 

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

Yes. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Do you want to control this one?

[The music ends.] 

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

I mean, I suppose I could. But everything seems to be going perfectly fine right now. I don't know why I would want to intervene.

Hallie 

I like to think that after she says that the xi-drake goes like, [Shrill noise.] 

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

On the other side of the room. Dragon roaring in the distance.

Kyle 

[Makes another shrill noise.] As it shakes a little bit. 

Hallie 

Hop goes,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Roaring in the background.]

I assure you everything is not fine. And your help would be pretty, pretty good right now. 

Kyle 

Umm...give me a role to convince her. 

Hallie 

Okay, I am wearing my social adamant clothing. 

Kyle 

She does appreciate good clothes. 

Tom 

She's a woman of taste.

Hallie 

Uh, I have...let me double-check. Yeah. Okay. I'm trained in pleasant social interactions and persuasion.

Tom 

Your social adamant clothes are just a beige sweater from Kohl's.

Hallie 

Scotch plaid from the, um, JCPenney collection. Thank you very much.

[Laughter from the party.] 

[Dice roll.] 

Eight.

[The haunting music of the Jagged Dream begins to play.]

I swear to god, if you just say no right now I'm going to throw my computer out the window. 

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

I suppose I am a patient woman, and this is a rather hasty way to go.

Kyle 

And she walks up to the front of the car and she turns over to you and says,

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

I will say, I have been very impressed by you and your companions. You have made an impression. I'll do this for you now.

Kyle 

And she raises her fingers.

Kyle (as Vera Layeni) 

If you're willing to repay the favor someday.

Hallie

[Faintly.] Is this a pinky promise? Is that what she's doing? 

[Sighs.]

Okay. 

Hopper says,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Firmly.] No.

[The music transitions into Hopper Scotch's upbeat, western Pythagorean rhythm theme.] 

Hallie 

And then slams machine control implant into the dashboard.

Ari

[In disbelief.] Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Emily

[With delight.] That's so good!

Ari

Ohhhh!

Kyle 

And the Ladybug sparks to life. 

[The music intensifies.] 

All right Elee. You have this thing that's out of place, you have this obsidian Sue. Most of the crowd, Soe and Meeghan and the rest have been really escorting people. Basically everyone is in a pod except for them because that's that last pod. 

[The music fades.] 

Tom 

Oh god, the damaged one. 

Emily 

Mm-hmm. So I have two questions: is it damaged, and do the pods need to be in their little places to take off? 

Kyle 

No and no. 

Emily and Tom

[With relief.] Okay. 

Emily 

I would like to spend a level of effort to stab my claws through her stomach. I want to use the ability thrust, which inflicts an additional point of damage, and I have opportunist, which gives me an asset on attacking a previously attack enemy.

[Dice roll.] 

An eighteen. 

Kyle 

How much damage this is do?

Emily 

Thirteen.

Kyle 

Okay, so you clobber that Sue. Describe how you hit her. 

Emily 

I just shoot my fist straight out through her chest. 

Kyle 

Okay, so you stab her through her chest.

Emily 

Once I stab through her, I want to curl my claws to hold her there and I want to tell the kids to,

Emily (as Elee) 

Get in the escape pod!

Kyle (as Soe) 

But–but Mom, what about you? 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'll be fine.

Tom

[Strained noise.]

Emily (as Elee) 

[Firmly.] Soe.

Kyle (as Soe) 

Okay, okay!

Kyle 

And quickly she drops her things and everyone runs into the escape pod. 

[Slightly mischievous music with a shaking maraca beat plays.]

Emily (as Elee) 

Make sure she stays in there!

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

I call to Jesse and Everett. 

Kyle (as Soe) 

I'll listen! I'm not gonna just jump out of the escape pod!

Hallie

[Laughter.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

Are you sure? Because I don't know that I trust that, you are my daughter. 

Kyle (as Soe) 

I trust you Mom. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Okay, I'm gonna trust you too Soe.

Kyle (as Soe) 

Okay cool. 

Emily (as Elee) 

I trust you. 

Kyle (as Soe) 

All right. Love you!

Kyle 

And she's gonna just close the pod door.

[The music ends.] 

Emily (as Elee) 

I love you too!

Emily 

Wait. 

[01:25:00] 

What are the professors–are they in the pods too?

Kyle 

Yeah, everyone's in a pod. 

Emily 

Okay. Including Rei?

Kyle 

Everyone is safe in a pod.

Tom 

But not Kentrim. 

Kyle 

And Sue, seeing that, turns over to the pod and she goes to hit it. 

Emily 

I've still got her. 

Kyle 

Yeah, but she's like, she's trying to push herself away and hit the pods. Well, actually, give me a defense to hold on to her.

Emily 

And this is going to be might...I'll spend two levels of effort to stop her.

[Dice roll.] 

A fifteen.

Kyle 

[The intense wrestling-theme rock music begins to play again.] 

Sue pushes against you and you hold her back in, and then she pushes more, and suddenly the obsidian glass at her chest breaks. So it does damage her. And then Sue reforms and puts all of her tiles into the weight of one arm, which she starts walking and dragging towards the pod. 

[The music fades.] 

But then...that's weird. 

[Meeghan's whimsical tuba music begins to play.]

She can't see it. 

You can't see it.

Tom

Meeghan Fishwife.

Kyle 

And she looks back at you.

Emily 

[Delightedly.] Babies! Meeghan Fishwife!

Ari

Aww.

Kyle 

Really confused, but then starts back in a little bit of like, fear and concern. Because there's one person in that pod who was not accounted for. And you hear a voice say,

Kyle (as L'Adrien)

[L'Adrien's theme, a techno-pop dance beat, begins to play.]

You think you are a real villain?

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle (as L'Adrien)

You have not seen what a true villain looks like!

Kyle 

And using their illusion magic, L'Adrien has outfitted you with a giant suit of armor–illusionary, but a giant suit of armor with spikes coming out of it and made your hair look like it's flaming.

Emily 

[Delighted noise.]

Kyle 

And turns you into this giant horrific-looking monster.

Hallie 

I fucking love it. 

Emily 

The butterfly rises!

Kyle 

Oh, yeah, and you have giant butterfly wings. 

Emily 

Is L'Adrien inside the pod though?

Kyle 

Oh, yes. 

Emily 

Okay good. 

Kyle 

They were in the pod with the rest. And the obsidian Sue just crumbles.

[The music ends.] 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Xoc. Why do you gotta keep doing this to me?

Tom (as Xoc) 

[In disbelief.] You're trying to kill me with a sword!

[Laughter from the party.] 

What do you–what do you think is going to happen? You're gonna stab me, and then what? The escape pods are going to be full by now. How are you getting off of here? 

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Who said I wanted to get off? Just that I wanted you not to.

Kyle 

And with that he drops the sword.

Ari 

Ugh, he's the worst. 

Kyle 

Reaches back, and Ness, I need you to roll speed defense. 

Tom 

Come on, Ness!

Emily 

Ness...roll better than Hopper. 

Hallie 

Yeah. Ness'  very first roll was a one, like. 

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

Nooooo! 

Hallie 

It's exactly what you think it is. 

Tom 

[Strained.] Noo! 

Hallie 

It is a one.

Tom

Nooooo! [Pained.] Nooo, no!

Ari

Hallie why!

Tom

Nooooo!

Hallie 

I don't want to be like this!

Tom 

Ness! 

Hallie 

I don't want this to be my life!

Ari 

Why! Hallie, no. 

Kyle 

[Ominous music begins to play.] 

And he grabs Ness.

Ari

Noo.

Kyle 

And he says,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

You should have practiced in gym class. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Kyle 

And he picks Ness up like a football. 

Emily

[Gasps.] Noooo! No!

Kyle 

And he throws him far.

Tom 

Like out a window or?

Kyle 

No because we did that before. So what he's going to actually do is he's gonna grab Ness, and he's going to throw Ness onto the ground to the point where Ness kind of skitters off, and...

Tom 

[Crosstalking.] Just spikes Ness at the ground.

Hallie 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

Ness, you're able to grab onto the end of the railing. 

Hallie 

Okay.

Kyle 

But you won't be able to help Xoc in the fight. 

Tom

Noo.

Kyle 

And then he's just gonna go to body check you off the railing, Xoc. 

Tom 

All right. Here's my plan.

Emily 

Kill this child.

[The music ends.] 

Don't put that in the episode.

Tom 

[Laughter.] We're on a walkway above an area right? He's trying to check me off the railing.

Kyle 

[Crosstalking.] Yeah, so he's trying to hit you to fall off the railing into, uh, the courtyard, where you'll probably die because it's a long drop. 

Ari

Hmm.

Tom 

Can I cutting light the walkway beneath us, to just like cut it apart?

Kyle 

So he can't get to you?

Tom 

Yeah, like, uh, like, just like cut it so that the two ends of the walkway just like fling away from each other. 

Kyle 

Yeah. I can't see for a reason you would need to roll for that. You go and you cut it, and the walkways start to go apart and start to swing to the sides, and I need you to roll to grab Ness as you swing to the side. 

Tom 

Let's just, uh. Let's say, let's take a look at my speed pool right now. Mmm-hmm. Yep. That's that's really nice. Okay, I'm going to spend four levels of speed effort to, to make this roll.

[Dice roll.] 

[Brightly.] Eighteen! 

Hallie 

[Happily.] Woo! 

Tom 

And I am now impaired.

Kyle 

Describe when it swings away, how you reach out and grab Ness. 

Tom 

[Triumphant orchestral music begins to play.] 

So, so the walkways are swinging back all wild and disconnected. As we swing around, Xoc is going to grab onto the railing with one hand and then scoop Ness up in the other arm and just hold on tight to Ness. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

I've got you!

Hallie 

As Ness clambers up on to Xoc as Xoc scoops him up, he yells across the now divided walkway at Kentrim. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

You're off your gourd man!

Tom

Yes!

Kyle 

And Kentrim yells,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Xooooooooc!

Kyle 

And you hear a boom-boom, boom-boom, boom, almost like a boar running at you.

Tom

[Weakly.] Noo.

[01:30:00] 

Kyle 

And you hear,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

Xoooc!

Kyle 

As he jumps to cross the gap to hit you. 

Tom

Oh god.

Kyle 

But barely misses, bonks his head on the end of your railing.

Tom

[Breathlessly.] Oh, god.

Kyle 

And just falls down to the railing right beneath it. So he's fine. He's just hurting he's like,

Kyle (as Sir Kentrim, Esq.) 

[Groaning in pain.]

[The music fades.] 

Kyle 

Meanwhile, Hop. What are you doing? 

Hallie 

I am testing out the propeller beanie on the top of the thing to see if it will feasibly fly out through the hole the xi-drake made in the floor so that I can hover around, and maybe go up to where Misha is on the relay. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Ari

Oooh.

Kyle 

I'm going to say you're flying there and you're just testing it, so it's going, 

[Faint thumping noise.]

As you're just going through the hallways because you're just testing to see if it'll fly. 

Hallie 

Kshh, kshh. 

Yeah. 

Kyle (as Sera) 

[Concerned.] Hey what–uh, what are you doing?

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I am trying to see if this is flight-capable, because I think flying outside the ship would be better than driving through the corridors. 

Kyle (as Sera) 

All right, um, we need to go to the engine room first. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Okay. Why?

Kyle (as Sera) 

[Insistent.] We–we just need to go.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Uh, okay?

Hallie 

He will guh-guh-guh–

Kyle

[Laughter.] 

Hallie

Guh-guh-guh-guh-go to the engine room. 

Kyle 

So you're racing towards the engine room as you're hearing the like,

[Rattling and dim roaring in the distance.]

Rattling behind you so you can hear the xi-drake is starting to get out. And as soon as you get to the engine room, Sera and Chitters immediately bolt out. Sera makes her way for the engine, and Chitters starts fiddling with some controls.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Sera...what are you uh, what are you doing? 

Kyle (as Sera) 

[Jazzy, up-tempo music begins to play.]

All right, so I've got I've thought about this every which way, and, and, and–there is no way the escape pods can make it away from that cloud in time. They can only go a few hundred feet. And as soon as they go that, they're, they're dead in the water, that thing's gonna get to them immediately. 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Weakly.] Okay?

Kyle 

And she starts kind of hammering a few weak points and she's like, 

Kyle (as Sera) 

So we've gotta, we've got to do something to make sure it doesn't follow us!

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Suspiciously.] And what is that? 

Tom 

Oh god.

Hallie 

Hopper knows but he's asking anyway.

Ari

[Sighs, resigned.]

Kyle 

And Sera just turns and smiles to you.

Kyle (as Sera) 

Just doing what I always wanted to do.

Kyle 

And she and Chitters get back on the...

Hallie 

[Crosstalking, relieved.] Oh thank god.

Kyle

She and Chitters get back on the Ladybug and she just says,

Kyle (as Sera) 

We should probably go quickly now.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Sounds like a plan!

[The music ends.] 

Kyle 

So Elee has gotten everyone onboard. Xoc has defeated his nemesis, Sir Kentrim. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Or more accurately, Sir Kentrim has lost to his nemesis Xoc.

Ari

[Amused.] Ah, yeah. 

Tom 

Yeah. I thought you were gonna say Sir Kentrim has lost to his nemesis, himself. 

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Ari

Himself.

Kyle 

Uh, Sera has done something but Hop and the crew are on their way out through the hole. 

[An intense, low thrumming sound.]

It's still up at the top, Misha. the cloud has so convincingly dwarfed everything else, but it's kept its energy really on the lower decks. And so up here, where you're so far away from the cloud, it's empty. There is nothing but the breeze of the air. 

[Gentle chirping sounds.]

And the quiet chirping of the qwhales between you and the relay.

Ari 

[The thrumming fades.]

The stillness of it all actually makes Misha a bit uncomfortable. They don't like being just by themselves in this space, but they know what they have to do. Well, I don't know exactly how they're going to do it, but they know what they are supposed to do in a way. 

So I guess...like, the first thing I was thinking on doing to figure out how to get this thing going was to use my datasphere spy ability that at least allows me to root my senses through device that is connected to the datasphere, in some sort of way. And I mean, in this case it says see and hear through those devices, but I want to see if at least starting by doing a thing that Misha knows how to do I can then...

Kyle 

So you reach out to the ship, and you try to use your datasphere spy. 

Nothing. It's not connected to the datasphere and it's, it's not enough. You're not committing yourself to this. You're just testing the waters being like, I guess I'll touch it just a little bit?

Ari

[Exasperated.] Ugh. Misha's just going to look around and, like, speak to no one in particular, I guess like,

Ari (as Misha) 

I do not know...why did the data spirits say I was the one that was supposed to do this? I have no idea.

Ari 

And...I don't know. I, I guess like communicating with Xoc is not going to do anything. So, uh...can I like look, examine the relay itself? Seeing if there's anything that I can...I don't know somehow try and finagle with?

Kyle 

Yeah, you try fidgeting, you try maneuvering and being like well, maybe if I put this wire here, and I put this wire here then...

Ari 

Yeah. 

Kyle 

It'll, it will make something happen. And it's just not working. And eventually you feel your scarf kind of tighten around you.

Ari

Aww..

Kyle 

And one end of it just goes and puts what would look like to be a palm on the end of the relay.

Ari  

Misha's going to look at the scarf and say,

Ari (as Misha) 

Do you think...that's what I need to do? Okay. I trust you.

Ari 

And Misha is going to put their hand there.

Kyle 

You don't feel anything at first. 

[The thrum begins again, low and quiet at first.]

But then a tingle starts to run up your hand, and it feels almost as if like gas has been escaping 

[01:35:00] 

from it. 

[The thrum intensifies.]

And seeping itself towards the relay.

[Staticky noises.]

And you feel this hand less and less and less, as if it's not there. You aren't controlling it anymore. And this slowly bit by bit moves up your hand and then suddenly...

[Kyle snaps his fingers.]

It clicks. 

[Intensified static and indistinct noise–old radio or television broadcasts, music, all barely decypherable and overwhelming.] 

Suddenly, a torrent of information starts just shooting around the sky, everywhere. It starts buffeting you from all different sides. But it's not like it's buffeting your body, because you don't feel like you have that Misha Jarvis body anymore. You feel more ethereal, less physical. And this information just keeps hitting you.

[The sound begins to dim.]

Songs. Stories. Memories.

You start to smell the burn of tires. 

[Revving tires in the distance.]

[The gentle click of heels on the floor, and the slow creak of a door opening.]

You start to feel the gentle yet threatening grip of someone comfortingly grabbing your shoulder and you see, for the first time in full, her.

[Thrumming electronic music begins to play, slowly increasing in tempo and intensity.] 

And as you feel these things, you feel yourself going further and further away from the Prodigious flying off into the atmosphere as these bits of pieces slowly hit into you and just tear off little bits and pieces of you, creating these strings that fly out somewhere into the far distance, connecting you with the lady who spent so long searching for you. 

Ari 

Well, I don't know–what can I do? I mean, Misha's definitely a bit overwhelmed by all of these images and feelings and stuff that are happening, but I want to try–them to try and focus on like, if they can sort of semi see the, the shadow of the Prodigious or something, to focus on that and try to block everything else out, and just, and just like look at that. And like, try to like fixate it into that so that they can like...yeah. 

Kyle 

Okay. Give me your roll. 

Ari 

Yep. All right. All right. Mmm. Ehhhhh...kkay. Can I spend, like, a level of effort?

Kyle 

Yeah, you can spend a level of effort. You also have XP you can spend. 

Ari 

[The music fades.] 

I know there is...yeah, okay. I want to spend 1 XP. Well, I guess let's see what I roll. And then with that...

[Dice roll.] 

Why does it always happen? I rolled a four. Every time, if it's something related...

Hallie 

[Crosstalking, a little sarcastically.] Why does this happen every time? Ari says.

Ari 

It happens whenever it's something related to Misha's plot, and I don't understand why. 

Tom 

Good thing you have a lot of XP! 

Ari 

Okay, I want to spend an XP to reroll that.

Kyle 

Yeah, you get hit with that information, but you try this steel yourself again, but you're being pulled further and further out. 

Ari 

Okay, let's go. 

[Dice roll.] 

Okay! A nineteen. All right, all right. I'm back. I'm back on fucking track. [Laughter.] 

I want to say that maybe at first I was, Misha was getting really overwhelmed by everything and was like kind of losing it, but then they like maybe thought about Xoc and their friends back in the ship as like a last thought, and then made that to go back.

Kyle 

[Gentler, but still slightly haunting music begins to play.]

You're buffeted on all sides by information and knowledge and memories, and all this extraneous stuff, and it overwhelms you at first until you try to remember that it doesn't matter. You try to fight back against it with those things that center you, those memories that don't come from the datasphere and that truly are the ones that are important.

And suddenly this information, which has been coming from all directions and buffeting you, turns is if pushed by a strong wind in one strong direction. And eventually, these bits and pieces just start disappearing until eventually there is just one set focused in a cylinder all around you. But these aren't the memories externally coming from the datasphere. 

[The music intensifies.] 

These are yours. And you use them to pull yourself as if on a thread back down, down, down.

Right into...

[The music fades.] 

You feel heartburn really bad, at like, your core, just something feels like hot and it's not working correctly. You feel like someone who had been like really ornately, like someone who has a bunch of earrings and a bunch of like nail polish, you feel as if you know, you are very ornately put together. You feel a few familiar bodies, like ants, crawling around your surface and you feel a handful of escape pods waiting for you.

Misha Jarvis, you are the Prodigious. 

What are you gonna do?

Ari (as Misha) 

[In the same echoy, tinny voice VIRGULE had.] 

Salutations! 

[Jazzy synth music begins to play.]

I believe I have taken over the Prodigious. It is me! 

Hallie

[Laughter.] 

Ari (as Misha) 

Misha Jarvis! Are you all in position for...us...to...escape?

Tom

[Incredulous.] What the fuck is this.

Hallie

[Through laughter.] Can we respond? How do we respond?

Emily 

[Through laughter.] How does anyone respond?

Tom 

Can–can the Prodigious hear us? It–no matter where we speak?

Kyle 

Yeah, because VIRGULE could when you talked to him.

Hallie 

Oh, that's 

[01:40:00] 

true. 

Tom 

So VIRGULE was just spying on us at all times. Ew. 

Emily (as Elee) 

Uh, as far as I can tell, everyone in the escape pods. I guess I'm just gonna ride on top or something?

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I may have a plan for that! I've got the Ladybug flying a little bit. 

[The music fades.] 

It will probably be fine outside the ship, but I can come get everybody. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

I'm fine too! Kentrim hurt his head. We might need to carry him out of here. 

Ari 

At, Misha is going to say after "Kentrim hurt his head,"

Ari (as Misha) 

Grrrrrreat! 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Hallie 

Yeah, after "we may need to help him" Ness goes,

Hallie (as Ness) 

[Indignant.] What?! 

Hallie 

In the background. 

Ari 

Just, what! 

Kyle 

And then you just hear,

Kyle (as Sunny) 

Fantastic job, Misha! I knew you could do it!

Ari (as Misha) 

I don't know how I did, but I think it worked now!

Emily 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

You hear Sera say,

Kyle (as Sera) 

You should, uh, tell them to get rid of the escape pod–shit!

[Intense, fast-paced orchestral music with heavy strings begins to play.]

I set the engine to blow up? You should let them know that I set the engine to blow up.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Slightly frantic.] Oh my god, you're right.

Sera set the engine to blow up. So I'm gonna come get everybody faster than I am currently moving.

Ari (as Misha) 

Well, uh, I do believe I am currently the ship.

Hallie

[Laughter.] 

Ari (as Misha) 

[Crosstalking.] So I do not want to blow up, but also my usual me is also in the ship, so I also would not like that for two reasons now.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Ohhh dear. You should probably disconnect from the ship at your earliest opportunity. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

You guys get the Ladybug up to Misha by the relay. Me and Ness'll drag Kentrim up and meet you all there. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

I'm sorry. We're doing what now?

Emily (as Elee) 

Send the pods out now!

Hallie (as Hopper) 

What– 

Tom (as Xoc) 

I think she said launch the pods.

Ari (as Misha) 

All right! Everybody hang tight!

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Ari 

And then just launches the, the pods.  

Kyle 

Okay. 

Emily 

[Hesitantly.] Was that a bad idea. 

Kyle 

So...you see three lights at the back of each pod activate, and they start to heat up and rev up, like,

[Faint but quickly intensifying noise like a computer booting up.]

And then suddenly all of them shoot out of the Prodigious and arc like a firework show off into the distance, right above Zhev Gardens...with the notable exception of the ones your children were in, which kind of shoots down through the Prodigious, bangs around, and then flies out alongside the rest of them. 

So it's like all of them fly out, and then you just hear this, 

[Thumping and banging noises.] 

One just trying to make its way around.

As you turn over and you you see those leave, Elee, you notice that your daughter has left a little gift for you. You see that she's left her hoverboard there, which is right now next to the open wall that you can easily fly out. 

Emily 

It registers for Elee. She hasn't really thought about it for a while. We're real high up, aren't we?

[Laughter from the party.] 

Hallie and Ari

Oh, no.

Emily 

And she's going to maybe have to fly this, uh, small device?

Tom 

These kids and their skateboards. 

Emily 

It'll sink right? It'll just–she'll get on it. It will just drop right out...how does she fly it? And she's gonna look around to see if someone's gonna come save her, because Elee Badge does not generally wait for someone to save her.

[The music ends.] 

But she's kind of got her fingers crossed right now.

Hallie 

I mean Hopper plans to go to the middle deck first because he knows Elee is there. 

Kyle 

Yeah, I'm gonna say Elee, you're sitting there, you're like holding on to it, and you're like, 

Hallie

I'm gonna do it.

Kyle

Okay, I'm gonna do it. 

Emily (as Elee) 

I'm gonna do it. Ughh.

Kyle 

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it! And then suddenly, [Rhythmic thumping.]

The Ladybug flies up and the flap opens up for you to get in. 

Emily (as Elee) 

[With palpable relief.] Oh, thank god. 

[Less relieved.] Where are the other kids?

Kyle 

[The haunting thrum resumes.]

Xoc. You are now at the top of the Prodigious, and you are making your way towards Misha. You can see that their body is very still, and you can see that there aren't actually color in their eyes. It's not gray. It's not red. It's just...

Tom 

Completely...no pupils or anything. Just white? 

Kyle 

I would say less white eyes and more like...kind of like how you know computer has like, uh, light around the power ring. 

Tom

Yeah.

Kyle 

That's what Misha's eyes were like. 

[The thrum fades.]

And now that there's no power, there's no light emanating from it. 

Tom 

So it's like, uh, empty glass screens. 

Kyle 

Yeah, kind of, yeah, like an empty glass screen.

Tom 

Also were dragging Sir Kentrim. We, we far stepped down to him and we dragged him back up. 

Hallie (as Ness)

[Deeply annoyed.] Aaauuuuuuugh.

Tom (as Xoc) 

Shush, Ness. 

Hallie

Ness is...

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Crosstalking.] This is fine.

Hallie 

Complaining the whole way. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

I can't leave him to die. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

But he's the worst!

Tom (as Xoc) 

That's true. But we're not going to leave him to die. 

Hallie (as Ness) 

Why!

Tom (as Xoc) 

Because I said so!

Hallie (as Ness) 

God, you were really fun for a while and then you stopped being fun.

Tom 

And then Xoc will say,

Tom (as Xoc) 

Are all the escape pods deployed, Misha Jarvis?

Ari (as Misha) 

[In the same staticky voice, through the Prodigious.]

I have deployed all of the escape pods!

Tom (as Xoc) 

I think you can disconnect now. The Ladybug will be here soon. 

Ari (as Misha) 

Certainly. I will do that then.

Ari 

And then I will try to disconnect.

Kyle 

[Soft, romantic music begins to play.]

And with Xoc here, it's a lot easier. You don't fly all the way out. You just step out of the Prodigious, and back into your old body. It's almost like coming home. 

Ari 

Okay. When I do that, then the first thing I do when Misha looks at Xoc 

[01:45:00] 

and, and also Ness, they are going to say,

Ari (as Misha) 

Thank you. I...I couldn't have done any of this without you. It's hard to explain, but I couldn't have.

Tom 

Xoc will smile.

Hallie 

Ness will like, brush off his arms the way that you would a jacket if you were wearing a jacket.

Ari

Aww.

Hallie 

And goes, 

Hallie (as Ness) 

Yeah. I'm really useful. I got Xoc's staff back. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

This is all basically due to me!

Kyle 

[Load roaring in the distance. Dramatic chase music begins to play.]

Meanwhile, cue dragon sound effects.

Hallie 

No.

Kyle 

Hop!

Hallie

What!

Ari

No, no.

Kyle 

Inuki has gotten out.

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle 

And is very interested in following the Ladybug. 

Hallie 

Ohhh. Why would that be.

Tom 

[Laughter.] 

Kyle 

So, uh, let me know what your next direction is.

Hallie 

Um, okay. So let me just look at my character sheet real quick. 

Emily 

Did you ever tell Elee where the other children were by the way? Because I have an idea. 

Hallie 

Everybody's in–I, I could just look drive...everyone's in the ship, goddamn. 

Ari 

[Strained.] I asked if everybody was in the– 

Hallie 

I mean like, I would just drive the Ladybug away, but I need to use it to get you into it. And also everybody is in the Ladybug. 

Ari 

Ah, yeah.

Hallie 

So it's not a good diversion. 

Ari 

Right.

Hallie (as Hopper) 

Elee. You still got that hoverboard?

Emily (as Elee) 

Yeah. I was thinking, um, maybe I should fly it to the rescue. I can fly things! 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

[Extremely disbelieving.] Are you sure? 

Emily (as Elee) 

[Strained.] Um, yeah, it'll be great. I got this!

Hallie (as Hopper) 

How has your...how has your, your boat fear been?

Emily (as Elee) 

Not good!

Emily 

And then she's gonna–'cause I can do it! 

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I can do it if you–

Emily 

[Crosstalking.] Try to fly the–

Hallie

[Crosstalking.] No!

Emily

The hover thing! 

Hallie

Hopper, as she's, I like to think as she's going on, Hopper's like,

Hallie (as Hopper) 

I can do it if you don't want to do it! I can–oh my God, she's gone. 

Kyle 

So Elee, you are making your way up to the kids. Hop, what are you doing? 

Hallie 

My thought was the hoverboard was going to be the distraction.

Emily 

Oh. [Laughter.] 

Hallie 

That's–he was gonna get the hoverboard and just like, skate away. I don't know. He was just gonna distract, and then, like, make it run into the already exploding ship, and then somehow make it back onto the Ladybug. That was his plan. That's why he asked.

Kyle 

Well, the xi-drake is still very fixated on you. So what you gonna do? 

Hallie 

So Elee just left right? With the hoverboard? And she's going up to get Xoc and Misha. 

Kyle 

Yeah.

Hallie 

Does does the xi-drake count as a non-boss target? 

Kyle 

No.

Hallie 

[Whispering.] 

Emily 

[Teasing.] Were you gonna designated as guilty? 

Hallie 

No, I have a small bird that will send a non-boss target into next morning.

Ari 

[Through laughter.] You are guilty!

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Ari

You, dragon!

Hallie 

Bird! 

Ari 

[Laughter.] 

Hallie 

All right, so I guess I just try to dodge it. I'm just gonna try to dodge it. 

Kyle 

Okay. Are you trying to make your way away from the Prodigious now?

Hallie 

Now that I know that extraction for Xoc and Misha is happening, yes. 

Kyle 

Okay. Uh, give me a roll. 

Hallie 

All right, I'm putting effort into this. What kind of effort with this be? 

Kyle 

Uhhh, intellect or speed. 

Hallie 

Okay, we'll do int. I'm going to do three levels. Here we go. New die. I've gone through five of my D20s tonight.

[Dice roll.] 

Seven.

Kyle 

You go to escape, and suddenly you hear...

[The sound of metal dragging on metal.]

As metal scrapes into the back of the Ladybug and pulls off the, like, very back of it.

Emily

Ohhh.

Kyle 

No one gets pulled off, but, uh, it now has no butt. The back of it is just torn off 

Hallie 

Ohh, this isn't good 

Ari

Noooo.

Kyle 

And you can like, feel the wind around you.

Ari

Noooo!

Kyle 

Meanwhile, Elee, roll me intellect to pilot this thing. 

Emily 

No, I actually now have...my highest pool is intellect right now. 

Hallie 

Yeah, we're not doing so hot. 

Tom 

I feel fine. 

Hallie 

[Dryly.] Shut up.

Emily 

[Dice roll.] 

[Weakly.] Is it a rule that we can't reroll ones?

Hallie 

[Distressed.] Ohhh no, Elee. Noooo!

Ari

Noooo!

Kyle 

It is a rule.

Emily

[Faintly.] I thought so.

Kyle

So you...

Emily 

[Crosstalking.] This is how Elee dies.

Kyle 

You pilot your way up, and you make it to the babies, and you're like, I'm, I'm coming! You're finally getting used to it and comfortable with it, and you go to land, and you flop on the ground, and the hoverboard hits the edge of the ground.

Emily

[Crosstalking, pained.] Noooo.

Kyle 

[Crosstalking.] Rolls and spirals off.

Hallie

Oh my god! Oh my god!

Kyle 

Into the abyss.

Hallie

No!

Emily

What!

Ari

Nooooo!

Hallie 

Oh my fucking god.

Tom 

[Weakly.] Soe's hoverboard, though.

Ari

Ohh, nooo.

Emily

[Weakly.] Aww. 

Tom (as Xoc) 

[Gently, slightly resigned.] It's all right, Misha Jarvis. They're coming to save us. 

Kyle 

Oh, Elee's right next to you.

Ari

Ohh.

Emily (as Elee) 

Oh, I was gonna rescue you. But um, I didn't?

Kyle 

[Laughter.] 

Emily 

She says, unnecessarily.

Hallie

But I didn't!

Tom (as Xoc) 

It's all, it's all right.

Ari (as Misha) 

[Uncertain.] It is okay, Elee–it's, um, it's okay, um, Elee B. We'll find a way. We always do, right?

Tom (as Xoc) 

We'll be all right, Elee Badge. Hopper Scotch is still out there. 

Hallie 

Jeeesus Christ. 

Kyle 

Hopper Scotch thinks you're safe. 

Hallie 

I was gonna ask.

Kyle 

You guys either come up with a plan now or fucking–

Tom 

Oh, I thought the plan was that Hopper was going to pick us up, because–

Ari

[Crosstalking.] What?

Tom

How could a hoverboard carry three people...

Ari

[Crosstalking.] Yeah.

Tom

All the way down to the ground. 

Emily 

They were...it, it wasn't planned well.

Ari (as Misha) 

Ahh, well, I do believe Simon Scotch could come and pick us up if the, the first part of the plan did not work. So is there a way we can communicate with Simon Scotch so that he comes back?

Emily (as Elee) 

[Strained.] I just–I, I don't know 

Emily 

Does anybody have 

[01:50:00] 

any cyphers?

Ari

Yeah, I'm trying to see what I have. I have fling? I can just fling people? And hope that they don't die. 

Tom 

Oh, that's right. I never got a chance to use it. Uh, Xoc will take out his bass guitar.

Ari

[Sputtering laughter.] 

Tom 

And slowly start playing a tune that I had prepared for last session. 

Ari 

[Trying not to laugh.] Well gentlemen, it's been a pleasure playing with you tonight.

Emily

[Laughter.] 

Tom 

Anyway, Xoc has a cypher which is called...I don't think it had a proper name, but it's a bass instrument but swirls with the energy of the sea, professor! And so Xoc pulls it out and starts playing this tune.

[A gentle, hopeful song begins to play.]

Kyle 

Inside the Prodigious there is a heartbeat. It's erratic, and Sera will tell you it's held to deal. 

[A somber bassline begins to play over the gentle tune.] 

But it's what keeps the ship alive, and it's what keeps it expressive. The engine of the ship starts beating, faster and faster and faster, as the heat and the light inside intensifies. And the light and the heat starts to seep out from the sides of the engine, before suddenly, in a burst, this energy and life explodes outward, taking all of the unnecessary parts of the ship to oblivion with it, reaching out at the ship and then further outside of it 

This energy, Hop, as Inuki goes to take another run at you, grabs the back of her tail and makes the way up this obsidian drake, which disintegrates with its energy. And it continues to fly forward and create a shield from which it pushes back against the Apocrita, which almost screams like a spider itself, and you can see the tentacles retract like spider legs.

And as this energy continues, it starts to make its way up to our three poor souls trapped on top of the ship, and that's when the sea comes. 

You see, qwhales are peculiar creatures, being both quail and whale, bird and sea mammal, they come from two worlds, but don't really belong to either. They can't swim in the water in or fly in the air, and by all conventions that makes them failures.

But if fitting convention was the only metric of success, you wouldn't be here. And as you play your song, Xoc, the power of the sea surrounds the qwhales, and inspires them to try something new. 

So you watch as the flock forms a large cloud-like shape, surrounds all three of you, and picks you up and off of the Prodigious. The qwhales aren't flying, they're swimming through the air, and they gently carry you to safety as the Prodigious is completely engulfed in flamses.

[The music gently fades, and a poppy, almost video game menu-esque tune begins to play.]

Kyle (as Mako)