Ep. 56: Misha‘s Memory, Part 1

Kyle

Amnesia is tricky. We like to think of memory loss as the kind of thing that can neatly fit into one of two categories, you either lose the memories you already had or you lose every new one you gain, but as with all things our complexity supersedes these simple explanations.

Because you see, sometimes memory loss comes from physical trauma, yes, but not all important trauma is physical. Sometimes the memories lost are new, but sometimes they’re old, and sometimes they’re a combination of the two, and sometimes, just sometimes, our memories are lost but not forever. These memories aren’t destroyed, they’re obscured, like computers disconnected from a network or puzzle pieces waiting to be slotted back into place.

[The music rises before fading out.]

Kyle

[Low humming begins, dotted with occasional whooshing noises.]

It starts with a song, then a feeling. Hot. Sticky. Small grains of dust scraping against your sore back. A smell. Stale. Alive? Something’s alive here, but it’s only living because something else has… you forget the word. The sun is too bright to see. You have to turn your eyes to the side. You do remember how to do that, right?

[The music fades into buzzing and chittering of insects.]

The song isn’t gone, but it’s faded now. You hear the bugs instead; maggots, flies, the like. No breathing, though, not from you, and not from the man. He’s on the ground too, and that’s all you can really say about him. Everything else is completely unfamiliar. His face, his clothes, ‘this’ color stuck to your clothing and dripping from his abdomen. It’s so familiar, although the shade is not one you know.

[Insect noises end.]

Ari

[In echoing silence.]

[A descending shriek.] Nooooo!

[Staggered.] Data. Found. No. Data. Found. What, is, location? No, data, found. What, is, time? No, data, found. What is… What is… nomenclature? No, nomenclature, nomenclature…

Machine… Machine Armor Suit In… of… Human… is false. Machine In of Armor Human is false. Machine In Suit… Machine In Suit of Human Armor is true, is true? Is true! Machine In Suit of Human Armor is true. M-I-S-H-A.

[Increasing in speed.] M-I-S-H-A.

[Static interference begins.]

Misha! Misha! Misha!
[Misha repeats as the static interference drowns them out.]

Kyle (as Jeff)

[In a gruff mechanic’s voice.] Well, there’s your problem. Looks like this android ain’t connected to the Datasphere. Their memories are all just jumbled over the place. It was a good idea of you to call us here at Datasphere Recovery Duo.

[Slow country western style harmonica music begins.]

Hey, DinDavid, DinDavid, can you come over here to take a look at this with me?

Ari (as DinDavid)

[Putting on a western cowboy voice.] Yeah, sure thing, Jeff. Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? You know, that’s the first solution of every electronic problem.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Here’s the thing, I did try turning it off and turning it on again. I did try that a few times.

[Music gains a bouncy, undulating bassline.]

Issue with this, uh, this android, this thing, is it really does not like things getting in its grill, getting in its business.

[00:05:00]

Ari (as DinDavid)

Mm.

Kyle (as Jeff)

You know, it’s a real coincidence we were able to get here in the first place. [Chuckles.]

Ari (as DinDavid)

Oh yeah, man, the traffic was truly awful. You know that Datasphere, the red lights take forever. So, let’s see here. What could be the solution then if we had a rogue, non-functional android over here?

Kyle (as Jeff)

What seems to happen here, DinDavid, you know, it’s like…

[Snaps.] It’s like, uh… I’m trying to think of his name.

Ari (as DinDavid)

Rupert?

Kyle (as Jeff)

What?!

Ari (as DinDavid)

Rupert?!

Kyle (as Jeff)

Nah, Rupert sucks, but it ain’t Rupert. That Ezra guy. You remember that Ezra guy?

Ari (as DinDavid)

Ah, yes.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, that Ezra guy. See, this is what happens when you interfere with things that aren’t supposed to talk with the Datasphere. They become dependent, and the second they’re cut off, boom!

Ari (as DinDavid)

Oh, so a real pain in our… if you know what I’m saying.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, a real pain in our ghostly asses. I got you, DinDavid.

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle (as Jeff)

I know you can’t swear, you know, with that swear jar you got at home at night, so I’ll do it for you.

Ari (as DinDavid)

[Weakly.] Yeah.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Alright. So, what we gotta do is we gotta, this moment in time, you know, this little dead guy, seems to be where everything’s kinda converging, and you know, I think we can do some good recovery here. We’re just gonna come in from points on points, try to piece together all these puzzle pieces and see if we can put them in a sequential order. Does that sound good to you, DinDavid?

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah. I think that apart from this moment on seems a little bit less messy than whatever seems before that, so I think this is a good starting point.

[Static interference slowly begins to rise again.]

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, I agree. This is the best place to start this android’s story.

[Static overtakes the music before they both fade out.]

Kyle

You awake in a castle. Awake might not be the right word, but your memories weren’t, and now they are, and awake is the best word that we have for that. You’re in this castle. It’s large and dusty. You can see electricity, little bits and pieces slowly and lazily snake around the banisters of spiraling staircases, resting alongside these glass orbs. You’re seated at a chair in front of a long table, it looks like this was used for dining purposes, and in front of you,

[Curious, lighthearted music begins.]

Sitting with all his feet on top of the table, looking down at you, is this fuzzy, gray, older boy. He’s wearing a steampunk mashup of leather crisscrossing belts and dozens of pouches with miscellaneous antiques. These antiques include a pair of goggles that illuminate his eyes secured next to these long ears with lightning bolts down them. But, what you see first is his mouth. It droops at the side and a large tongue slips out through the sides where there’s no longer any teeth. And this old dog man looks at you and he says,

Kyle (as Fayz)

Bark. Bark. Well, I’m glad to see you’re awake. What’s your name?

Ari (as Misha)

[Speaking scrambled gibberish.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Bow?

Kyle

He cocks his head to the side.

Kyle (as Fayz)

What was that?

Ari (as Misha)

[Speaking scrambled gibberish, Ari’s speech is playing in reverse.]

Kyle

His head cocks even further to the point where it’s almost 90 degrees now.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Ashim? Well, I’ve never heard the name Ashim before.

Ari (as Misha)

[Gibberish.] Ashim. Ashim. Ashim!

Ari

And they are going to be pointing at themselves.

Kyle

And that’s actually when you realize what probably the issue is, because you go to point at yourself and your hand instead goes backwards and slams against the table.

Ari

Ugh. [Humored sigh.]

Kyle

You’ve been talking backwards this whole time, Misha.

Ari

[Laughs.] I figured that was going to be the case. They will frown, and then they will, in their head, then move their hand backwards – which is forwards – and go,

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Misha)

[Speaking Ashim so that the reversed audio is close to correct.] Misha. Misha. Misha!

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha? Misha?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes. Affirmative. Misha.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha! Misha!

Kyle

He starts thumping his leg against the table. He’s real excited.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha! What a lovely name. My name is Fayz. My name is Fayz.

Ari (as Misha)

Fayz.

Ari

Misha will point at him.

Ari (as Misha)

Fayz. Misha. Fayz.

[Curious music ends.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Fayz and Misha! Fayz and Misha! [Barks.]

Ari

[Chuckling.] Misha will also repeat that, excited.

Kyle

He starts running around the table real excited.

Ari

[Laughs.] Misha will do so as well, just slowly like a toddler, just trying to follow.

Ari (as Misha)

Fayz and Misha.

Kyle

[Laughs.] And Fayz will eventually calm down and say,

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha. Ruff. Usually people have full names. Do you have a full name, Misha?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh. My full nomenclature is… is… Machine In Suit of Human Armor, Just A Very Intelligent Rather System.

[00:10:00]

No, negative. Just A… Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. Affirmative. Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. Jarvis! Jarvis. Misha Jarvis.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Oh! Misha Jarvis. Good. Good. Good-good-good. I’m Fayz. Just Fayz. Just Fayz.

Ari (as Misha)

Just Fayz. Salutations, Just Fayz.

Kyle (as Fayz)

What about, what about, what about friend? What is friend’s name?

Kyle

[Gentle, peaceful music begins.]

And you see Fayz go up and he goes and scritches something connected to you, like under the ear.

Ari

Aww.

Kyle

You see this long purple scarf.

Ari

[Squeaking in joy.] Aww, it has been there since the beginning!

Kyle

Connected to, uh, connected around you, and it’s just kind of like…

Ari

Aww~

Kyle

It acts like a dog who’s being scritched under the ears. It’s really enjoying it.

Ari

Aw. I guess Misha had not noticed that before?

Kyle

No. Misha had not noticed the scarf.

Ari

Okay. Misha will look at it and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Soft. Soft. Friend? What is friend? Friend is soft.

Kyle

[Chuckles softly.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Well, friends are not always soft, but friends are good, and this friend was very protective of you when I found you.

Kyle

He mimics, he and the scarf mimic together, the scarf seemed to be like

Ari

Wow…

Kyle

Kind of in this defensive pose.

Ari

Aww.

Kyle

Like if someone put their arms in front of somebody else.

Ari

Aw, that’s so cute.

Kyle

Almost like whatever happened it just jumped in front of you, like someone taking a bullet. “Misha Jarvis~!” Just Mister President, but with that instead. [Laughs.]

Ari

Oh, that’s so cute~! Aww. Misha will say,

Ari (as Misha)

Protective?

Ari

And then look at it, and kind of start to grasp what it means.

Ari (as Misha)

I… I thank… Thank you. It feels nice. I don’t recall this soft friend, but I like it.

Kyle

[Chuckles softly.] The scarf just like cuddles in closer.

Ari

Awww.

Kyle

And then Fayz perks up.

[Gentle music fades out.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Wait! Wait! You might be going places. I don’t want to get in your way. Where were you going that got you in the way of the infamous Kahl?

Ari

[Breathy laugh.] God. Misha will frown and say,

Ari (as Misha)

Where? No… data found. No data found. I don’t know where I was going.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Oh? You didn’t know? Neither did I. That’s how I ended up here. You can stay here too if you want.

Ari (as Misha)

That sounds nice. Thank you, friend, Just Fayz, and thank you, warm soft friend.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes. Friends. Friends. Friends-friends-friends. Let me show you where friends live.

Ari (as Misha)

Yes.

Kyle

And so, Just Fayz bounds off.

Ari

Misha will follow.

Kyle

And he shows you all throughout this place. It’s called Hanrenheid Castle.

[Spooky music begins.]

Hanrenheid Castle used to be the home of this group Fayz would talk about. It was called the Dioshen. They were interested in recovering the souls of those that have departed. This Kahl that he keeps talking about was actually why he came to pick you up. He mentions that the Kahl was recently…

[Static covers the word.] You can’t recognize the word that he says, but something recently happened to him. And so, Fayz brought in the Kahl, and he saw you alongside and brought you in as well. During this speech not a whole lot interesting happens, but you do have one interesting conversation, which is when he brings up the souls.

[Spooky music ends.]

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

Now that’s a weird one. That’s a word that you haven’t heard before. Like, what is that?

Ari

[Smiling.] Oh my god.

Kyle

And Fayz tries to explain, but it’s difficult.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Well, soul is, uh… it’s me, but not like body me, like what makes body me function.

Ari (as Misha)

What makes you function.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes. Yes. What makes me function. It like… There’s me.

Kyle

And he points to himself.

Kyle (as Fayz)

And then there’s soul.

Kyle

And he points kind of all around him, trying to explain what he is.

Ari (as Misha)

Soul?

Ari

Misha will try to feel around them, around Fayz, to see if they can feel it.

[Laughing.] Touching, like try to feel it, because personal space is not a thing.

Kyle (as Fayz)

It controls us like, uh…

Kyle

And he picks up a puppet, that’s a marionette on strings.

Ari

[Gasps.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Like hand here is soul and, and, this

Kyle

And he points to the puppet.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Is us.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. I do not like that.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

It’s not scary. We are still soul. We are hand and puppet.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. I do like that.

Kyle (as Fayz)

They always said, what was it, eyes… Oh! Eyes are windows to the soul.

Ari (as Misha)

Windows?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes!

Ari

Misha will point to the window.

Ari (as Misha)

Windows!

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes. Yes. Windows. You can use windows to see outside. You can use eyes to see soul. That’s how I knew you were alive, because you have a very bright soul.

Kyle

He’s looking at one of your eyes.

Ari

Oh boy.

Kyle

[Deep, peaceful music begins.]

Which you can see in a bit of banister around you, you can see you have two eyes. One is gray, and the one he’s looking at is red.

Ari

Oh boy.

[00:15:00]

Kyle

And shining brightly.

Ari

Oh boy. Misha will approach their face into the reflection to kind of see if they can see inside their eye to magnify it.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Ari (as Misha)

Soul. Soul. Where is soul? I have soul?

Kyle

Give me a roll, for a quick second, actually. [Ends in a grin.]

Ari

Ooh boy. As I said, I tested this die and the first roll was a 1, so here we go.

[Rolls.] Oh boy, hang on, I didn’t see that.

[Stretches.] That was a 4. That was a 4.

Kyle

You look in closer and closer, and you’re trying to see, but all you can see is the reflection of yourself. It’s just polished banister, it’s not fancy, and also this place is real dusty. Fayz talked about how there were a bunch of other people that lived here. He’s the only one here now. So, you can’t see a whole lot. You can only see yourself and you can see Fayz.

[Static interference returns.]

But for a brief second, in the center of your eye, you could swear you see someone else.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Agh, DinDavid, they still talking their philosophy and nonsense?

[Static fades.]

Ari (as DinDavid)

[Western music returns.]

I think so. They’ve done that for the past hour or so.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Ugh!

Ari (as DinDavid)

Do we really have to regard every single minute of this? I mean, it’s really boring to just watch every single thing.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Listen, I don't know, man. The job said, you know, get ‘em all back, recover the memory, get them all connected. You think you can just, uh, I mean, if it all sounds the same it doesn’t matter what order it’s in, right?

Ari (as DinDavid)

I think we’re being underpaid for this job, honestly. Maybe if they paid me a bit more I’d put more effort, but like, I have a family of four.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Jeff)

Oh yeah man, those little Datasphere stratic life spirits, they can be a big handful, can’t they?

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Man, it is tough to be a parent in this hellish landscape of things colliding into each other all the time.

Ari (as DinDavid)

It truly is.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Anyways. Just slam it together. I’m sure nobody’s gonna be able to tell the difference, right?

[Static interference gradually returns.]

Ari (as DinDavid)

It’s okay. Who’s gonna look for it anyways, you know?

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, just slap it together and see what happens.

[Static overtakes the music and both fade.]

Kyle

So, Misha woke up about a month before Episode 1. This time with Fayz accommodates for about half of it. So we’ve got two weeks to deal with, and I wanna talk about the first week for a second. For your first week you spent time with Fayz and you spent time with this warm thing which eventually, after much thought, you and Fayz figured out was called a scarf.

Ari

[Laughs.] Yes.

Kyle

And by much help I mean you and Fayz, and the scarf, opening a dictionary

Ari

[Laughing.] And pointing at the—

Kyle

And pointing to the word scarf. You were a bit confused at first, because the scarf actually pointed to the word on top of it, so you thought it was a scabbard for a while.

Ari

[Grinning.] A scabbard? Oh no.

Kyle

But you eventually figured out it was scarf. It was a lot of work.

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

But what else was this month—not this month, what was this first week with Fayz like?

[Energetic acoustic guitar and drum music begins.]

Ari

Well, at first it was confusing. Everything was both new and familiar at the same time, so it was very weird to kind of rediscover things in a way, but it was actually—Misha didn’t have the word for it at first, but it was actually really fun, because they weren’t alone. They had two people that they labeled as friends, and so they had a lot of interesting conversations with Fayz and sometimes the scarf? By mimicking and stuff like that. Eventually Misha also was able to piece words together better by learning new things. So yeah, they didn’t leave the castle. The castle was, Misha considered that their whole world and they were fine with it. Every day there was something new to discover, like “oh, this is a rug” and things like that.

Kyle

And Fayz was very excited to share it with you. he told you all sorts of stories.

[Energetic music fades out.]

The Dioshen had a whole lot of peculiar folks who just came in.

[Plucky, happy and nostalgic music begins.]

He would talk about this wraith, this big cloaked scary figure named Gabby. He talked about these two terrifying women that came in and just absolutely just stripped the place bare and stole everything from it. He talked a lot about humans and a lot about adventurers, and every story you heard about them they were just so peculiar. They were all so strange. But eventually, after about a week, he stopped having things to tell you.

[Plucky music ends.]

It was also sometimes kind of sad, because Fayz would disappear for periods at a time.

Ari

Aw.

Kyle

He would like walk through the big, twenty-foot-tall doors at the front of the castle, and then he would just disappear from existence.

Ari

Oh.

Kyle

And it felt like a short while, it felt like an eternity. And then he’d come back, and it’d be like he was always there.

[00:20:00]

What I’m describing is the experience of my dog, Charlie, whenever we leave.

Ari

[Smiling.] Yes!

Kyle

Misha has not learned object permanence yet.

Ari

[Laughing.] They have not. No.

Kyle

And one day, Fayz actually offers, as he leaves, and he sees you just look all sad again.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Oh! Oh. Legrash.

Ari (as Misha)

What?

Kyle

He points to the door.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Legrash! Legrash!

Kyle

He starts bounding around the door.

Ari (as Misha)

What is…?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Legrash is the town beneath the castle.

Ari (as Misha)

Town?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes. I need to get thing from town. Do you want to come?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh.

Ari

Misha will look really anxious at that.

Ari (as Misha)

I do not know what… Town, is it… What is in town? Why do you go there?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Lots of things. Lots of things in town. And you can get lots of things with these.

Kyle

He takes out 4 Shins, which is the starting number of Shins a nano gets, and he hands them to you.

Ari

[Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

You give these and you get things, like uh… like books. Books have stories.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. I like stories. There are more stories than your stories?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Yes. Yes-yes-yes.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, and are there more Just Fayz in town?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Uhh, no. No. Much…

Kyle

And he does a thousand-yard stare.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Much scarier.

[Whooshing noise signaling a scene change.]

Kyle

So you see what looks like Fayz, except it never stands up and it has a skull for its head.

Ari

[A little surprised.] Oh. Okay.

[Country western guitar music begins.]

Kyle

You are in the middle of Legrash, the dusty town beneath Hanrenheid Castle. You see a variety of people milling about. They look a lot like that man that was laying on the ground next to you except they’re moving around, they’re much more lively, going from place to place.

Ari

Ho…

Kyle

And sometimes, walking alongside them, much like Fayz walks alongside you, are these small things. They look like Fayz but they have these skulls for a head. They’re called broken hounds.

Ari

Oh, what?

Kyle

They’re a usually untamable kind of dog. So far Rhubarb, which you aren’t familiar with, and Legrash seem to be the only places that can tame it, and Legrash doesn’t seem to “tame” the broken hounds

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle

As much as they seem to “coexist” alongside them. [Laughs.]

Ari

[Laughs.] Oh yeah. Okay.

Kyle

So anyways. You are sitting next to a dusty water fountain that Misha would not know is a water fountain, because water has not poured out of it in the past 15 years.

[Guitar music ends.]

Beneath it is one of those areas where kids are supposed to run around and, you know, water shoots up.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

But sometimes it’s just dust and bugs.

Ari

[Grinning.] Yeah.

Kyle

But the kids are running around and they’re having a blast with the dust and bugs. Fayz has said he has some things to take care of, so he’s actually left you, so it’s just you and the scarf sitting here in the center of the town with 4 Shins to spend and more people than you’ve ever seen in your life. What is Misha up to?

Ari

So first, when Fayz leaves, Misha is just going to kind of reach for him, trying to go with him, and then maybe Fayz is like no, wait here or whatever, and so Misha’s just going to stand really still in the fountain just moving their feet, their legs back and forth, just waiting like that.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Ari

But now that I have a moment to breathe and look at things, they will realize that there are a lot of people around and that they seem not only to match the description that Fayz has said about humans but also, you know, they have that one weird starting memory even though they look more lively than that person.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Ari

So Misha will point at the kids that are running or whatever or at each of the individual people and then look at the scarf and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

H-Humans. Humans!

Kyle

And the scarf, it doesn’t have a head, but what would be its head, the scarf nods its head.

Ari

Aw.

Kyle

As meanwhile there’s just one of the mothers of the children just looks at you and shakes her head.

Ari

And shakes her head. [Laughs.] Misha will alternate between being real still and sitting and then be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Humans!

Ari

And then again, like kind of restraining themselves from going, but eventually they are going to be too curious to do other things so they’re going to stand up while still being like,

Ari (as Misha)

Humans.

Ari

And approach the fountain that’s shooting bugs, with the kids. [Laughs.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] So, you run into the fountains, and

[Joyful music begins with whistling.]

As of Episode 1, a lot of what’s going to happen during this memory episode, Misha didn’t remember.

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

It’s coming back to Misha as we present it to the audience now. But this feeling always kind of stuck with you. It’s probably part of the reason Misha loves bugs so much.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

Because as Misha got in, the kids didn’t skip a beat. They started playing alongside you as you ran around and got the bugs in.

Ari

Aww! Awww!

Kyle

At one point Misha was a little alarmed when they saw one of the bugs and went to shake their hands and a kid grabbed your hand and was like,

Kyle (as kid)

No. We have to keep them safe. Mama says we have to keep the bugs safe and secure.

Kyle

And helps you keep your hand still to watch the bug crawl around.

Ari

Misha will watch, really amazed by the bug, and be like,

[00:25:00]

Ari (as Misha)

Yes, it’s beautiful. We must keep it safe!

Ari

And then I want them to do a little Rapunzel type scene, or like Elizabeth from BioShock, just like spinning around the bug fountain with the kids. [Laughs.]

Kyle

They all spin around you. You start singing a song together.

Ari

[Grinning.] Something like keep the bugs safe.

[Joyful music ends.]

Kyle

[Singing without melody.] Keep the bugs safe and sound and we go around to keep all the bugs safe forever.

Ari

Yes.

[Pensive, subtle music begins.]

Kyle

There is this naggling feeling that, I don't know, it almost feels wrong? Like, you know a kid who’s doing something they shouldn’t be doing but it’s too fun to stop.

Ari

[Pensive music fades as Ari speaks.]

I want to say maybe occasionally when they have that feeling they will stop for a second and kind of look around guiltily, but not knowing why, but then they are gonna proceed doing it when they have the kids singing and stuff.

Kyle

At one point out of the corner of your eye you can see a handful of parents.

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle

Just start going towards you.

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Ready to kick your ass or interrogate you.

Ari

Oh boy.

Kyle

But, Misha does not notice this, because Misha hears something that they feel deeply familiar with but they haven’t heard in full force for a long time.

[Carnival-like music begins.]

From off in the other side of the town you  hear this happy, haphazard clashing of horns and cymbals, like a “bam, bam—“ I’m gonna play music in the background.

Ari

Misha will then look at the source of that, motion to the kids, and then point over there and say,

Ari (as Misha)

What is?

Ari

And then I want to use my google thing for the first time to see what that is.

Kyle

Yeah. You look and you hone in on the source of the music which is this colorful pop-up stand with what looks like candy cane coloring.

[Carnival music fades away.]

Ari

Mm-hmm?

Kyle

And as you look it up you see an advertisement, just the first page because you can’t see too much detail, of

[Shouting dramatically.] DR. THISTLE’S MYSTICAL, MAGICAL INSTRUMENTS OF WONDER AND MAGIC!

[Back to normal.] Magic is said like five different times all throughout. It’s like www.MagicMagicMagicMagicMagic.Music.Magic.com.

[Measured “creeping” music begins that feels humorous.]

Ari

[Laughs.] Nice.

Kyle

It seems to be this wonderful, amazing, world-bending experience of bringing people together through the joys of the most exquisite and expensive

[More dramatically.] music that can be offered!

Ari

Misha will just start walking towards there, repeating. Like, if there’s a commercial that is repeating things or saying things Misha will just repeat it.

Ari (as Misha)

The wonderful thistle magic!

Ari

And all that. But like, they would repeat only like every third word, because they are excitedly walking towards it, so like,

Ari (as Misha)

Thistle. Magic. magic.

Kyle

As you get closer, you hear more of the song.

[The music picks up. All below is singing.]

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

Welcome to the shop at Magic Sound. Wonders and riddles that make you sit in awe and whistle. Wow! I’m in the shop at Magic Sound. What can I say but I’m happy to make your acquaintance. You can call me Dr. Thistle.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Instruments abound at Magic Sound. Slide horns and French horns and horn-horns if you’re feeling frisky. Everything is found at Magic Sound. Real or fake or mystery, doesn’t matter, you’ll be feeling tipsy like French whiskey.

Andrea (as witchy woman)

What if I’ve been told my voice is shrill and wicked?

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

Try keyboards or drumming, just always stray from humming.

Kyle (as enthusiastic participant)

Ah, I get it. It’s all aesthetic!

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

Assuming your wallet’s—

Andrea (as witchy woman)

Open. My heart’s crying to belt out with music.

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

Harmonicas at least allow your breath to release.

Kyle (as enthusiastic participant)

This all sounds fun. I would like one. I’ll pay.

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

You’ll pay?

Andrea (as witchy woman)

I’ll pay.

Jojo (as Dr. Thistle)

You’ll pay! Come up to the shop at Magic Sound. We sell and resell anything that’ll make a racket. You’ll pay right away. Give me something to line my jacket. Come now, you cash cows, to Magic Sound~!

[Music and singing ends.]

Kyle

And then the song ends, and you just hear a… [Claps slowly.]

Ari

[Joins the slow clap.] Misha will just start doing that.

Kyle (as ???)

BOO! Get off the stage!

Kyle

As just a few people are hesitantly clapping and the rest are just booing and picking up sand and throwing it in Dr. Thistle’s face.

[Recording of people booing plays.]

Ari

Um, well, I want to say that if Misha doesn’t know what that means Misha is going to do the same. They’re going to think that is a way to demonstrate that they liked a thing, so they are going to be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Boo! Boo!

Ari

And throwing, picking sand and throwing it,

[00:30:00]

but also clapping so they’re going to clap and then grab sand and throw it and then clap again.

Kyle

[Laughs.] And you hear a,

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

[Gibberish pained impact noises.]

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

As this person is just making weird dancing pained expressions and eventually just shuts the curtains in front of them.

Ari (as Misha)

Ohh…

Kyle

And as everyone disperses and you’re the only one there they poke their head out, looking around.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Ba-ha-ha. Well, what are you still doing here?

Ari

Misha will say,

Ari (as Misha)

Boo! I enjoyed your performance. [Claps slowly.]

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Well… that’s odd.

Ari

So, yeah, they will also be looking really closely, because Misha will realize that it’s the first time they are actually looking at a person really up close. Yeah, the kids were there, but actually they’re in their face like that, so they’re going to pat the head of this—

Kyle

[Laughing.] You pat the head of this person?

Ari

[Laughs.] Yes.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

How peculiar… but I suppose it’s a peculiar we can sell to. Everyone!

[Carnival music returns.]

Kyle

They throw open the curtains, and you just see them and a hoard of tiny gummy people.

Ari

Aww.

Kyle

Which are just marching along, hup-hup-hup, with a series of instruments.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

So what would you be interested in? The slide horn? The French horn? The horn-horn? I assume you heard the lyrics to the song, correct?

Ari

Misha will say,

Ari (as Misha)

Lyrics? Yes.

Ari

And then they will start singing the song that they were singing.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Ah yes, a very investigative buy indeed.

[Carnival music fades.]

Now, tell me, do you want an instrument that is unique?

Ari (as Misha)

Unique. Definition: One of a kind? Unique?

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Yeah unique, one of a kind, nothing else like it.

Ari (as Misha)

Yes. I would like a unique instrument. I enjoyed your song from you, unidentified human. Unidentified human, what is your nomenclature?

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Ah, the name’s Dr. Thistle, and let me tell you this thing right here…

Kyle

And they pick up the slide horn.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

This ain’t unique at all. Eh, get it out of here.

Kyle

They throw it to the back.

[Sounds of multiple things crashing and breaking followed by a cat meowing.] 

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Do you want something that is magical?

Ari (as Misha)

Magic! Magic. Magical Dr. Thistle. It’s in the lyrics. Yes.

Kyle

They pick up the French horn and they just snap it on their legs.

[Crunching followed by “sad trombone” noises.]

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Well then you don’t want this either. This right here, this is garbage. This is not even good in the right hands. But finally, you want something that’s unique? You want something that’s magical?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Do you want something that can smooth the emotions of everyone around you?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes! Yes! Do you have that? I want that.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Well, I have it for you. let me certainly tell you that is not this right here. This horn-horn? Eh, this horn-horn can go on away.

Ari (as Misha)

Well—

Kyle

And they just throw it up into the stratosphere. [Laughs.]

[Comical noise of something flying away quickly.]

Ari (as Misha)

Why do you break your other instruments?

[Groovy percussive music begins.]

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Because I’m gonna tell you the secret right here. It’s a secret just between you and me. These things? People don’t want things that are unique, that are magical, and that sooth emotions. They want redundant things that are bad and make people feel bad. But you know what, you are like me, pal. We have a very different way of seeing about things. You understand what I’m saying here?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. I am like you? I am like human.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

You and I?

Ari (as Misha)

Yes.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

We’re the same, but we’re not human. We’re something better. We’re musicians.

Ari (as Misha)

Musicians? Definition unknown. What is?

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Oh, it’s not something I can explain, it’s something you gotta feel. Here, I found the perfect thing for you. let me go get it.

Kyle

You just hear a bunch of noises like [Mouth noise effects resembling “squash, crunch, meow”.] as Dr. Thistle goes back and reaches into what you don’t notice at the time but what we would recognize as a giant Tupperware box filled with a bunch of cheap, identical-looking, dusty old kazoos.

Ari

Ohh… [Laughs.] Yes.

Kyle

Dr. Thistle pulls one out and says,

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

This, right here, this is a kazoo, only the best instrument, and honestly I’m selling this for a steal. You can’t find better prices than you would find right here.

[Groovy music ends.]

Ari (as Misha)

A kazoo? It’s beautiful.

Ari

They will just try to go and grab it, because they didn’t get the part about selling. [Laughs.]

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

[Suggesting “hold on” or “not so fast”.] Ap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!

Goods or services. How many Shins do you got for something like this?

Ari (as Misha)

Shins? Oh! Shins! Yes. Shins.

Ari

They will excitedly pick the money that Fayz gave them and show all 4 Shins.

Ari (as Misha)

Shins! Shins!

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

What, 4 Shins? Only 4 Shins? You trying to con me here?

[Quickly increasing in speed and frustration.] You trying to make a con out of the con man? You’re gonna be ridiculous. I’m the biggest con man.

[Talking so fast it sounds like gibberish.] This is ridiculous!

Kyle

And then they look around

[00:35:00]

at all the gummy people around them who are just like, you can hear a gurgle in all their stomachs.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Well, I suppose even a con group like ourselves needs to eat, so 4 Shins for the best experience you’ll ever have sounds like a deal.

Kyle

And as soon as that happens, the hand closes,

[Carnival music plays very quickly in reverse.]

Zips back into the cage, the curtains close, the doors outside the curtains close, and the whole thing wraps up and just looks like it’s a little box that cannot be entered.

[Rewinding carnival music ends.]

Ari

Oh no. Misha will confusedly just try to peek inside.

Ari (as Misha)

Musician? Human? Musician human? Thank you.

Kyle

There is no response except for a single swinging sign

[Makes “back and forth” noise, like a seesaw.] that just has on it “No Refunds.”

Ari

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Misha)

Magical unique instrument that can sooth emotions. Information saved.

Ari

Yeah, I guess, actually yes, can I have Misha look up how to play a kazoo?

Kyle

Yes, but you get a GM Intrusion with it.

Ari

That’s fine.

Kyle

Because you can only look up one thing a day, and at Tier 1 you couldn’t look up how to do something.

Ari

Oh, that’s true. Okay, never mind.

Kyle

But, this was a limitation that Misha started to feel as time went on. Now, in these early stages, your abilities feel a lot more open to the Datasphere.

Ari

God, I made a mistake.

Kyle

You go down and you look at the kazoo and you just start thinking, yeah, how do I play this kazoo? You start to hear the sound. So, it works like it normally does.

[Static interference begins.]

You hear static and you start to hear some kazoos playing.

[Low toned, simple kazoo playing begins amongst the static.]

You probably hear a few people going like agh, ew, gross!

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

But amidst all this, you start to hear… you hear this faint voice calling out to you. You can’t make out what it says

[Static and kazoo playing fade and are replaced by echoing low tones and distant indecipherable shouting.]

But you can hear it, and it sounds angry, it sounds scolding almost, like you get feeling again of this is-, I shouldn’t be doing this, no, like a kid who’s getting scolded, but now you have an entity to it. But then it all fades away.

[All fades back to silence.]

[Suddenly cheerful.] Hey! You know how to play the kazoo now! That’s neat.

Ari

[Laughs.] Oh boy. I’d say that split second of scoldingness, they will drop the kazoo, you know when it’s like they’re discovered doing something that they’re not supposed to and they will throw it, and then they will realize that they throw it and will be like okay, why did I do that, and then they will just pick it up.

Kyle

And the scarf, as you pick it up the scarf will brush off the dust from it.

Ari

Aww.

Ari (as Misha)

Thank you, friend scarf.

Ari

Yeah. They will just blow on it.

[Ari blows twice through an actual kazoo, incorrectly, producing no sound, then blows a third time producing a long, discordant note.]

This is going to be that note, just going at first.

[She plays another long, discordant note.]

And then, maybe as like, they’re going to do slight variations as they’re walking around town, just like

[Ari plays two quick notes, and repeats.]

And then like three notes

[She plays three notes in succession, and repeats.]

Until they just, like—

Kyle

[Plays a kazoo to the tune of Jingle Bells.]

Ari

[Grinning.] That’s not what I meant. It’s not a Christmas special, Kyle!

Kyle

And Joker got away. Hey!

Ari

Yes.

Kyle

And suddenly,

[“Deck the Halls” composed of just kazoo and jingling bells begins.]

As this kazoo music is playing, you have an idea. You think oh, the kids, the kids would love this! This soothes music, and you know, those folks seemed pretty upset for some reason that were by the kids.

Ari

I was actually going to suggest that. I was going to say that the next thing Misha was going to do was test it, so they would just go back there.

Kyle

Perfect. As you’re going over, are you just playing the notes or are you trying to come up with a song?

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

What’s your game plan?

Ari

So, now that I know how to do it, then they will try and come up with a song as they approach the kids and the parents.

[“Deck the Halls” ends.]

Well, mostly the parents, because the kids seem pretty happy. And so, they are going to play the one song that they know in this time and it just comes to them, and it is of course the Titanic theme,

[Laughing.] Because that is the one song that Misha knows. Do you want me to play it?

Kyle

[Smiling.] Yeah. I always want you to play kazoo.

Ari

[Begins playing “My Heart Will Go On” on kazoo.]

Kyle (as ???)

[Softly.] Why are you doing this? … You shouldn’t be doing this.

Ari

[Continues playing.]

Kyle (as ???)

Wait, what?! No, you shouldn’t—

This is not right. This is wrong.

Ari

[Continues playing.]

Kyle (as ???)

I—Ugh. It’s not like there’s anyone there for you to play to, anyway.

Ari

[Stops playing.]

[A deep and eerie droning noise begins rising.]

Kyle

And yeah, you can see, you could have sworn you saw those parents earlier. They’re not there anymore. They’re gone. All you see is a brief reddish haze over where you remember them being.

Ari

Misha will frown and stop playing almost immediately, put their hand over where they were.

Kyle

And as you go to do that, you keep looking around, and you can hear the kids, so maybe they’re… not there either, just more mist.

[00:40:00]

Ari (as Misha)

[In a small voice.] Hello? Humans? Fayz?

Kyle

Fayz, right, Fayz is around. You remember Fayz went over that wayyy… Where are the buildings? Where’s the fountain? Where’s the bugs? Where is—Well, Dr. Thistle, right? Dr. Thistle would know how to fix this. … Oh wow, where’s Dr. Thistle? Where is anything that isn’t red haze?

Ari

Uhh…

Ari (as Misha)

Where. Where is. Where is Fayz? Where. Where is humans? Where. Where am I? Where is Misha? Where is Misha? Where is Misha…?

Ari

They are going to try and look at the scarf. Is the scarf still there? Is the scarf in their--?

Kyle

Give me a Might check.

Ari

Oh man. Okay. That was not expected, but um, let’s see.

[Low droning ends.]

[Rolls.] That would be an 18, so I still got it, a bit, sometimes.

Kyle

So Misha,

[Mysterious, almost ominous music begins.]

You bump into something you can’t see. It feels solid and hard as you hit one of the pieces of the mist and you stumble back a few feet but keep your bearings. You were distracted trying to look for the scarf. And then, as you stumble backwards, you feel something hit you in the back right by your shoulder and something else hit your front, and you keep being barraged as if these forces keep stumbling into you. This red haze, even though it’s just a haze, seems to be physical, and every time you run into it you seem to be hitting something physical.

Ari (as Misha)

Stop. Stop! What. What is. What… Lost. Lost! Misha is lost. Misha is… Misha is scared. Scared. Fayz. Fayz! Fayz.

Kyle

As that happens, some of the red haze goes towards you, and you just hear a voice from it say,

[Whooshing noise begins, like heavy wind.]

Kyle (as ???)

Yes, you better be afraid, red eyes!

[Music shifts into guitar licks giving a sense of danger.]

Kyle

And suddenly, out from this mist, a woman just emerges, grabs you by the scarf,

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

And slams you against another bit of red mist which disappears and reveals a wall.

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle

The rest of the mist stops, and suddenly it all comes back, and you just see all the other buildings, the fountain, and all the people who have just stopped and are looking at you and this very thin, tall woman that slammed you against the wall.

[Music ends.]

Ari

Is she, like, a physical? Like, is she there?

Kyle

Yeah, she’s physical. Everyone is here. They were hidden by this red mist and now they are back.

Ari

I see. Okay. Misha will be too shocked to do anything, so they will just be like curled in a little ball grabbing their scarf, kind of keeping it close, and they are going to look at this lady and say,

Ari (as Misha)

W-Why?

Kyle (as woman)

[Aggressively.] What was that name you said, red eyes? What was that? Was that Fayz? Was Fayz the name that you said?

Ari (as Misha)

[Weakly.] Fayz. Yes.

Kyle (as woman)

Of course Fayz would be harboring a—[Word is covered in static, like a censor, suggesting Misha doesn’t recognize it.]

Ari

Ohh…

Kyle

And Fayz bounds out.

Kyle (as Fayz)

What? What’s going on?

Ari (as Misha)

Fayz! Fayz! Fayz, I—

Kyle (as Fayz)

Oh! Misha. Misha. Oh, Miss Andri, what’s going on?

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

Oh, you know perfectly well what’s going on, Fayz! I can’t believe you would be harboring the person that [Word covered in static.] our dear Kahl Dekker!

Ari

[Amused.] Oh my god.

Kyle

And she takes you and she throws you at Fayz and you both stumble to the ground.

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

Now Fayz, it’s time to do the right thing and give that creature up.

Kyle (as Fayz)

[Growls.] No, no, no. There is plenty of people had it out for the Kahl. Bow. Misha has been nothing but kind and good.

Ari (as Misha)

Define word. Define—

Kyle (as Fayz)

Come on. Come on, Misha. We must go.

Kyle

And Fayz gets up, and you hear a little whimper as one of his legs kind of hurts.

Ari

Aw. Oh… Oh no.

Kyle

But he keeps walking as he carries you back.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

He and the scarf pulling on you both escort you back as you hear the woman just yell after you.

[Sad piano music begins.]

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

You can’t keep that thing locked up forever, Fayz! One day we will all come and we will get justice for our dear old Kahl!

Ari

As Misha is being dragged away, they do want to walk away but they are also going to be looking back at her and they are going to say, once in a while,

Ari (as Misha)

[Static interference begins to rise as Misha speaks.]

Define word. Define word. Define murder.

[Static heightens and vanishes. Somber piano music carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

Hello, and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends, Episode 56: Misha’s Memory, Part 1! I am Kyle, your GM, and

[00:45:00]

something you might just not have known is that our outro song happens to be Hitoshio by Miracle of Sound.

Something else you might not know is that if you subscribe to us at Patreon.com/QuestFriends at a $5 level or above you get the opportunity to have a shout-out by an NPC of your choice.

Kyle (as Sera)

And today’s shout-out comes from John Langly. Now, John wanted to know how Sera, that’s me, was doing in my efforts to figure out left triangles. And John, come on, I figured it out like ten episodes ago, okay? You just take a triangle and you bend it around… Oh no, that’s just a right triangle in reverse, isn’t it?

[Huffs.] Now I understand what Chitters was trying to tell me. Uh, John, so I thought I had it figured out but now I’m not particularly sure anymore. Maybe if I bent it over multiple times, but that’s just an original right triangle again… maybe three times is what I need to do? Or maybe something else. What if I got one of those artifacts that just—

[Kyle continues speaking, interrupting over his recording as Sera that fades out.]

Kyle

Alright, and while Sera is busy figuring out whatever it is she’s figuring out, I’ll just say thank you again, John, for subscribing to us on Patreon. I really appreciate your support. It not only helps the show sustain itself but it also helps us move towards adding new additional stuff we wouldn’t be able to do otherwise, such as something you’ll see next week.

But, if you want something else on Patreon.com right now, if you subscribe at the $3 level or above, you’ll have the ability to download original songs such as Dr. Thistle’s magic Sound, which I will be uploading tomorrow with credits for my two vocalists, who I want to point out turned around their vocals in 48 hours which I’m still blown away by. Dr. Thistle was performed by Jojo who you can find on Twitter.com at @FunkMcLovin or on YouTube at Funk McLovin. Our other vocalist who played that kind of witch lady is Andrea Davidson who you can find at @andreajdav on Twitter. Instead of trying to figure out how to spell the things I said, I would just check the show notes below where you can find links to both of them.

I’m actually going to pick on Andrea again, because she is one of our three name pool folks for this episode. Now, the name pool is anyone who tweets or tumblrs out at us with the hashtag #QuestFriends, and when someone does that I will take their name and if I need something to name an artifact or a person or a place I’ll often use that name pool to pull inspiration.

For example, Miss Andri is not only a terrible pun but her name also actually comes from Andrea Davidson, Dr. Thistle comes from Thistle, or @iz_that_right on Twitter, and finally DinDavid comes from Dn’David or @BaskerHound13 also on Twitter. A lot of folks came from Twitter today, but I am genuinely checking Tumblr as well.

Alright, so I’ve shilled our musicians, I’ve shilled our Patreon, and I’ve shilled our name pool, but in my defense it is because all of you are actually interacting with the show… which is not an invitation to stop. It’s amazing to be able to talk to folks and I’m actually still working through all of the results from the 2020 survey which I will be compiling and then releasing the results as well as reaching out to those who actually won the prizes from the raffle within the next couple of weeks.

For now though, you don’t need to worry about any of that, you just need to worry about finishing this episode and getting ready for our next one which will release on Monday, May 11. I will see you then.

[Somber music carries out of the announcements.]

Ari

[Static returns momentarily and fades as Ari resumes playing “My Heart Will Go On” on kazoo.]

[00:50:00]

Kyle (as Jeff)

Ugh, I gotta say, DinDavid,

[Lurching country western music returns.]

This kazoo thing is pretty nifty.

Ari (as DinDavid)

Its presence seems to be where the connections of these memories seem a bit stronger, don’t you think?

Kyle (as Jeff)

Oh yeah, I’d absolutely agree. Taking a look at these memories, you know, it would seem that, you know a lot of them, a lot of them we had to slot back together right here, but the memory of that song and just, you know, the music did seem to stick around a lot better than the rest. Heheh, who can blame ‘em. This thing is amazing. You know you can make any song with this?

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah, no, it’s pretty nifty. I mean, I am not a fan of the sound myself, I am more of a fan of the clarinet, but you know, to each their own.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Of course you would be a fan of the clarinet, DinDavid, you pompous ass. I say that lovingly, of course.

Ari (as DinDavid)

I know, Jeff. No, no harm intended. I know, I know. You’re always teasing me with these things.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Hey DinDavid, you were the one who took this job, right?

Ari (as DinDavid)

I mean, took it is a big exaggeration. I was kinda placed into it, you know. I did not originally apply for this, but it is what it is. They just told me we have this position for you, put me in this thing, it pays the bills… barely.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Why does our employer even want us putting these memories together, hooking them back up to the Datasphere? It’s just a, you know, a rogue android. No one cried when Ezra died.

Ari (as DinDavid)

I don't know what makes them special, honestly, but you know, the last time I asked questions they took half of my salary. They made me have pretty much no salary, because I really don’t have that much.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, it’s true. Good thing we can make our own salaries out of nothing, just like this kazoo. Heheh.

[Static interference starts rising again.]

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah, yeah, I suppose that’s true, I suppose that’s true.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Man, it would suck to be saddled to that planet.

[Static overtakes the music and both fade.]

Kyle

It’s a quiet night. It always is a quiet night when the Iron Wind is around. Iron Wind is a thing you’ve heard about from Fayz. It’s this big force that lives in The Beyond, the space past the mountains where you are. You’re in this kind of ravine in the middle of a mountain range. It’s not usually something to worry about, people to the west of the mountains never think about it, but occasionally on a very strong night the wind will make its way all the way to Hanrenheid Castle in the town of Legrash. It’s not a loud wind, it’s pretty silent, and its danger makes everything doubly quiet, because no one save for the really determined will be out at night.

It’s been a week since you went to the town of Legrash. Neither you nor Fayz whose leg has been injured have been back to the town since. It hasn’t been terrible. Fayz bought a couple of books, and even though he can’t read them you were able to look up how to read them in the Datasphere, so more stories of adventurers and the like, because those seem to be the ones you really latched onto.

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

But, Fayz is asleep, no one is stirring, and every book has been read, so you’re back to another one of your nights. What do Misha’s nights look like?

Ari

Hmm. It’s tough, because the Iron Wind is there.

Kyle

[Amused.] Is Misha trying to look out the window to see the Iron Wind?

Ari

Yes.

Kyle

I love it. It is spectacular. You can’t hear the Iron Wind, but you can see it. It’s just making this technicolor show outside, because the Iron Wind can change anything into anything, so it’s just pops of reds and greens and yellows and occasionally luminous lights. At one point you see it just create a bunch of fish which are just flopping on the ground.

Ari

[Grinning.] Whatever. It’s fine.

Kyle

They’re fun fish. They’re actually really, really tiny and invisible save for some black stripes on their sides.

Ari

[Smiling.] Fuck. I hate you, so much.

Kyle

[Amused.] So you’re just watching the Iron Wind?

Ari

Yeah.

[Peaceful and contemplative piano music begins.]

The nights are usually what Misha both likes the most and the least so far. At first they really liked them, because it gave them time to explore things more, but on the other hand even though they were with the scarf it still made them feel a bit lonely, but especially they make them feel a bit anxious sometimes because usually that was when they tended to reminisce about quote-unquote “past things” and specifically, you know, certain things that they weren’t` quite sure what they were and what exactly they meant, but they just knew that they were something that they didn’t like thinking about, and they always drifted towards that during the night.

Kyle

Yeah. It was… It was hard. I’m sure it also didn’t help that Fayz got hurt for something Misha was blamed for.

Ari

Oh, Misha was absolutely—

[00:55:00]

They have never been that worried for another person before, for another… like, their friend got hurt, and so yeah. They actually had been taking care of Fayz as much as they could, so like, they were trying to look up exactly how to take care of an injured leg and looking for like rags or whatever, and stuff to keep, like—

[Piano music fades.]

Ari (as Misha)

You have to keep your leg up.

Ari

And stuff like that.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Ari

Try to make food, which did not go well, but they meant it well. Like, soup! And then just have a weird water with weird things floating on it that do not go in a soup, like a full tomato or something.

Ari (as Misha)

Soup! Eat! Sick.

Ari

Or something.

Kyle

Just a tomato, in water.

Ari

[Laughs.] Yeah, floating in a bowl of water. Soup!

Kyle

Which considering that Legrash is always in a state of drought is, in many ways, impressive that you got the water, but then you’ve ruined it with moldy tomato.

Ari

Yeah, it was definitely not a great tomato, one of those soggy, soggy tomatoes that nobody wants ever.

Kyle

Yeah. It’s you and the scarf, and the scarf is just sitting there wrapped around you, sometimes just comfortingly petting the side of your face.

Ari

They love that. Whenever, they try to pet the scarf also, and occasionally they thank the scarf. They don’t know exactly where it came from, but they know that the scarf means well so they always try and make sure that it feels recognized and loved as well.

Kyle

Yeah. The scarf is so strange. You don’t think you’ve been with it long, but it feels like an old friend.

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

You’re distracting yourself with the Iron Wind, but eventually you can see that the changes are starting to move somewhere to the left, and you have to go to a window down a few hallways in order to see more of it.

Ari

Misha will sigh and try and see if they can go there to keep seeing it, because they don’t want to… they want to try and think about things, but as they move they are going to check on Fayz just to check that he’s okay.

Kyle

You walk past Fayz’s bedroom. In it you see this giant, very nice bed, and he is contentedly sleeping at the foot of it.

Ari

Oh.

Kyle

You continue to move on past all the things you’ve seen. You’ve gone to the library which admittedly there’s not much left of it, you’ve gone past the cafeteria, the dining room, and you walk down to a hallway Misha hasn’t been to.

Ari

Oh, that’s weird.

[Thoughtful, slow, slightly creepy music begins.]

Kyle

When the Dioshen used to function, they used special areas to do their work, to try to help revive these souls. Misha has never before been down the operation hallway.

Ari

Ohh.

Kyle

You turn the corner and you see this hallway. It’s pretty basic. It’s kind of got that castle aesthetic, but it’s a little more sterilized. And then you hear cars.

[Car engine revs.]

Ari

Cars?

Kyle

You hear cars. Vroom, vroom~!

Ari

Interesting.

Kyle

And the space around you shakes, and you don’t see the castle exterior anymore, you see a much more haphazard, put together, the hallway looks like it’s made out of mesh and wires. It’s still like a hallway to some operation chambers, but it looks different. It’s got wiring and wood and looks much more makeshift than what they’ve got here. It looks like… some place you know, and it looks like some place you do not like.

[Music shifts to something more futuristic and ominous.]

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

Far in the distance you see, wearing this giant, ratty lab coat, a man emerge from one of the end corridors, and you don’t like that either.

Ari

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

And so you turn to look around, and you go down, and you see that the hallway seems to be extending all the other ways.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

And as you turn around, and you start going down that hallway, at the end of the other hallway you see another figure emerge.

Ari

Oh my god.

Kyle

This one seems to be floating. It almost looks like a still mannequin, and somewhere at the end of it you can see color somewhere on the face, but you can’t make out where it is. It’s like that color that you saw when you saw the guy, when you woke up,

[Ominous music ends.]

but it’s a different shade, and you don’t like that color either. Which part of the hallway does Misha run to?

Ari

Oh… [Grunts in indecision.] What is this decision? What is this choice? I do not like either of these two choices. Like, what do you want, death by poison or death by fire? I don’t want either of those choices. Ohh, this is like one of those telltale games when it’s just like, whoosh, the screen freezes.

So, I assume there’s no—Because Misha will try to look to see if there’s a door in the hallway or something that they can go through, but I’m guessing there is no door, there is no such thing, it’s just a hallway and they’re in the middle of it, right?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, no.

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

No. Uhh…

Ari

No, it’s fine, I guess it’s more fun if…

[Clears throat.] Fuck it. Okay. This is gonna fuck me up. They are going to run away from the man in the lab coat and they are going to run towards the other mannequin-like figure.

[01:00:00]

[Ominous and futuristic music returns.]

Kyle

As you run away from the man, you can see for a brief moment his face covered in shadow, looking panicked, and you just hear him start calling out.

Kyle (as man)

[Deep and reverberating.] No! Dangerous! Monster!

Kyle

And finally, Misha’s new word of the day,

Kyle (as man)

Murder!

Ari

Ooh boy. Also, can I correct a thing?

Kyle

Yeah.

Ari

I want to instead of going towards lady to be back and forth between them, like going for each one and then going back.

Kyle

Okay. And then as you turn away from the woman, back towards the man, you hear the same.

Kyle (as woman)

[Deep and reverberating.] No! Dangerous! Monster! Murder!

[Kyle continues while character speech loops in the background.]

Kyle

And she starts to repeat the same words, their voices together, repeating them, over and over and over again.

Ari

Oh my god.

Kyle

And then more voices join in and start to say it.

[Many voices chant and shout at once in a cacophony, before they end in a heavy thud.]

And then suddenly, with a rattle, this vision disappears. The man and the woman in the hallway are gone, but the remaining voices aren’t. You can hear slam, slam, slam.

[Heavy thuds accompany each “slam”.]

Something hard hitting against the front door of Hanrenheid Castle.

Ari

So Misha’s hearing a pounding at the door?

Kyle

Yes.

Ari

Well, you know, I think it will take a while for Misha to register what’s going on. They will for a while just sit there, kind of try to cover their ears as they have all of these events happen to them. I assume that it keeps pounding, even, you know…

Kyle

It keeps pounding at this big door at the front of Hanrenheid Castle, and you hear the crowd get louder and louder, which is odd. Again, if the Iron Wind is out, only people who are really determined would be out at night. You wonder for a second if it’s like the man and the woman who just disappeared, but then Fayz appears and no, they’re very real, because Fayz runs up to you and says,

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha, Misha, Misha! Stay away from the door!

Ari (as Misha)

Fayz! I’m sorry. My apologies. I did not mean to come here. I just… I wanted to explore and then—I’m sorry. My apologies, Fayz.

[Heavy banging on the door.]

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

[Shouting.] Fayz, open up!

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha, Misha!

Kyle

Fayz grabs you by the arm as the scarf actually slips off and starts grabbing things to barricade the door.

Ari

Aww, that’s adorable.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Misha, it’s alright.

Ari (as Misha)

It is not.

Kyle (as Fayz)

It’s fine. It’s fine. It is okay. These people never knew up from down anyway. That’s why I got along with them so well, because I don’t either.

[More pounding on the door.]

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

Fayz! Open up!

Kyle (as Fayz)

But,

[Sad piano music begins.]

You can’t stay here.

Ari (as Misha)

What? What do you mean I can’t stay here? In this room? My apologies. I will go back to my room and… I will stay there?

Kyle (as Fayz)

No. No. Listen. There’s a back door. It leads to a safe passage down the Riage. Even the wind won’t catch up with you. But you have to go now.

Ari (as Misha)

[Hurt.] You want me to leave the castle?

Kyle (as Fayz)

No. No. I don’t—

Kyle

And Fayz starts to [Whines.] He starts to whimper a little bit like a dog who’s having someone go.

Ari

Aww. Oh nooo.

Kyle

And then he eventually just sniffles up.

Kyle (as Fayz)

[Ruffs and stammers.] For your sake, yes. Yes I do.

Ari (as Misha)

But I come back, I come back after the lady goes, right?

[Pounding on the door.]

Kyle (as Miss Andri)

Fayz! We have until the count of 3, assuming you CAN count!

Kyle

And Fayz looks at the scarf which has flown back to you and looks at you and says,

Kyle (as Fayz)

Well, uh, I don’t think she is… I don’t think she’s going to, uh…

Kyle

And then suddenly Fayz just takes his paws and he wraps them around your back.

Ari

Aww. Misha will just stay there. They will be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. What are you doing, Fayz?

Kyle (as Fayz)

It’s, um… Oh! It’s something that Gabby taught me. It’s called a hug.

Ari (as Misha)

Hug.

Kyle

And then at that, Fayz is gonna push you off with their paws as your scarf kind of wraps around you and starts tugging you towards a different hallway, the back door of Hanrenheid Castle.

[The music changes to the outro theme, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound.]

Kyle (as Fayz)

Alright now, you have to leave, you have to leave.

Ari (as Misha)

I… I will come back. I will come back.

Kyle

And as you run off with the scarf, Fayz just kind of sits down and looks at you, like any other dog

Ari

Aw.

Kyle

Who knows that when you leave

Ari

Oh no…

Kyle

You’re actually going to be gone forever.

[Outro music carries out until the bloopers.]

Kyle

And fuck it! That’s gonna be the end of the first episode.

Ari

God, I almost teared up at this. Oh, I hate you, Kyle. I’m actually tearing up.

Kyle

Was it good? Was it a good first episode? Did you like it?

Ari

[Tearful.] It was. Yes. I’m actually tearing up. I hate you.

[01:05:00]

No~! It was like The Fox and the Hound. Ohh, oh no…

[Sobs.] I hate you so much.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Alright, 1920s, [Speaks gibberish.]

Can you pull it up, DinDavid?

Ari (as DinDavid)

Yeah, let me see, let me see…

[One of them taps a drum roll on their desk.]

Yep, here it is.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Ruff. Old dog voice. [Makes a lot of gruff dog-like noises.]

Kyle

[Smiling, so proud of himself.] So Misha has canonically been speaking backwards this whole time in order to speak forwards.

Ari

Yes.

Kyle

Is what we have just established. [Laughs.]

Ari

Yes! Yes! [Laughs.]

Kyle

Oh, it’s perfect though. It’s almost like, you know, when you first start learning another language how you have to translate it in your head.

Ari

It’s like one of those things in Psychology, you saw those things where people put glasses that flip their vision? So at first everything is flipped and then the brain auto-flips it and then they take it off, and it’s like… So that’s why sometimes they speak backwards at night because they’re just speaking their normal language .[Dissolves into giggles.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] Oh god, I love it.

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Alright.

Ari (as DinDavid)

I wanna make it to my 4:00 golf appointment.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Ah yes, space gulf.

Ari

[Laughing.] Space gulf.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Atmosphere gulf that’s out of this world.

Kyle

I wanna make it clear that Fayz has a deeper voice now, because he is older, he is no longer a puppy, he is a big old dog with a deep voice.

Kyle

And you just hear a voice from it say,

Kyle (as ???)

[Whooping.] Yeah, you, gold stone…

Kyle

[Laughing.] No, not Goldstone.

Ari

[Laughing.] What the fuck? What is he doing here?

Kyle

I need to come up with a better voice.

[Sampling many different voices.] Yeah. Yeah you bet. Yeah you better. Yeah you better. Oh, that’s all I can think of. Ehh… Eh? Yeah. Yeah. Something like this. Here’s a new voice.

Ari

I just realized the name of this castle. The last part, the last word in the name of this castle.

Kyle

Hanrenheid?

Ari

Hide.

Kyle

Oh, I didn’t even think about that. I just came up with the name randomly.

Ari

[Smiling.] Well, I hate you.

[Episode Ends - 01:07:06]