Ep. 67: One Neon Night, Part 9

[Intro song plays, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound.]

Kyle (as Ein)

Are you ready?

Kyle

Misha, you are back at Coachman’s Tree. You made your way back – it was a lot faster than searching for Ness – and you are actually on the racetrack that we started last episode on, the one where people are racing. There’s been a lull in the racing, there’s not a race right now, but you are on the track and you are in a vehicle, just one of their standard default vehicles. You know, it’s just a regular car with googly eyes and bouncy balls for the front wheels, and the horn probably does La Cucaracha or whatever, because that’s just the standard comedy horn.

Ari

[Giggles.] Absolutely not.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Alright, we’ll do a different song. It does the Steel Samurai theme from Phoenix Wright. There we go.

Hallie

Yes! [Laughs.]

Ari

Okay. Excellent. That is approved.

Hallie

[Hums the tune.]

Ari

[Joins the humming.]

Kyle

Which Misha has pressed this horn many times.

Ari

Oh, definitely.

[Giggling.]

Kyle

But, Misha’s not in the driver seat. They were very quickly taken out of it. Here’s where everyone is.

[Fun, electronic Sims-like music begins.]

On the balcony we have a few folks. So, watching the car we have Elee. Just leaning on her shoulder, buzzing, we have CK. I’m guessing on Elee’s lap we just have Ness who’s being held a bit too tight.

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

Just a little bit, but he’s not squirming away from it. He might be fussing with the paper.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

Because I don't know if this is gonna come up, but he was fully planning on above where the signature is writing “I, Jimmy Win, cede this race to Misha Jarvis” or something related to fraud.

Emily

[Giggles.]

Hallie

That was why he was trying to get the signature. It was never about the autograph!

[Fighting laughter.] He just wanted to make him commit perjury!

Ari

[Deeply amused, dragged out.] Oh my god~!

Emily

You said it needs to be legal size for reasons, and I was like—

Hallie

It needs to be legal size! That was—

Emily

Ness. [Laughs.]

Hallie

That was why. So he’s like scribbling. He’s not telling anybody about it, because he would really rather Jimmy introspect and then grow as a person, however this is a backup.

[Music fades.]

Kyle

So you’re all up there. Meanwhile, Misha, you and Ein are in this car, the Udgey car. You’re both wearing your getups, so you’re in your Speedy Speed Boys outfit, you’ve got that helmet that wraps around your back but doesn’t cover the ears or the face, and Ein in fact has her full getup with her astronaut helmet on as well. Here’s the trick, you’re not in the driver seat, Ein is.

Kyle (as Ein)

So this is our observation practice. It’s kind of the first practice we do as the Speedy Speed Boys.

Ari (as Misha)

Okay. What am I supposed to observe?

Kyle (as Ein)

Well, everything. Normally while driving, with the help of Stein of course…

Kyle (as Stein)

[Chatty robotic quacking.]

Kyle (as Ein)

…I’m able to drive perfectly fine. He observes the surroundings through the car and relays the information back to me. But today…

Kyle

She takes a little switch on the side of her helmet and flips it off, and Stein’s voice…

Kyle (as Stein)

[Quacks momentarily before ending abruptly with the sound of a light switch.]

Kyle

…suddenly clips off.

Kyle (as Ein)

Today, you’re going to be my Stein.

Ari (as Misha)

Do you need me to use my kazoo?

Kyle (as Ein)

No. No, words are fine. Words are good. What I mean is that the first rule of good riding is observation. You need to pay attention to your surroundings. So, you’re going to pay attention to the surroundings and then tell me how to respond.

Ari (as Misha)

Okay.

Kyle

She goes into neutral and the car like steadily creeps forward. She puts her hands on the wheel, perfect positioning of course, 3 and 9, or 2 and 10… I think it’s 3 and 9 now. I don't know. It’s been ten years since I went to driver school.

Hallie

What?! [Stammers.]

Ari

I have no idea.

Kyle

[Grinning.] She does it the old grandma way where it’s just the bottom of the wheel.

Hallie

Terrible.

Kyle

And you can see in the distance there’s a turn where you have to turn left, and the car slowly moves forward.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. Uh, well…

[Quirky rambling music begins.]

I see my small friend, Ness, and I see Elee B next to him. I also see two stars currently in the sky, although I believe one of them might be a planet.

[Laughter.]

I also see—

Ari

[Laughing.] They’re just gonna keep going with that.

Kyle

Do you ever actually say a turn is coming up?

Ari

Uh… they do, but when the turn is like really close, like,

Ari (as Misha)

And I see the end of the road, meaning that it is time to turn towards the left… right now.

Emily

Right now.

Hallie

Right now.

Ari

Like without giving any leeway, like right now! Like right now. It’s like right in here.

[00:05:00]

Kyle

You know the thing where you’re driving and you just go up the curb a little bit?

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

It’s the equivalent of that, just goes up on the metal curb – except it’s not, it’s like ramps – but turns a bit too late and she turns over.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Ein)

That was an excellent observation, although we tend to focus on the road.

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I believe that your instructions were to tell you about all of the things that I observed. I was simply complying with your instructions.

Emily

[Grinning.] Sass.

Ari (as Misha)

If you only want me to observe the road, I could only observe the road.

Kyle

Ein—You just see the astronaut helmet turn towards you.

Ari

[Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Ein)

Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Emily

[Giggles.]

Kyle (as Ein)

[Strained.] Yes, the road… is great.

Ari (as Misha)

I will do so then.

Kyle (as Ein)

Fantastic. Are you comfortable to continue?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, certainly. Are you comfortable to continue?

Ari

[Laughs.]

[Eurobeat music begins.]

Kyle

And that’s when she slams on the acceleration, and the car speeds off down the racetrack.

Ari (as Misha)

The road is going at a significantly faster speed than it was before.

Kyle

She can’t help but laugh.

Kyle (as Ein)

That’s the idea!

Kyle

Ari, I need you to give me a roll, give me a number, and give me a direction.

Ari

Uh, okay. Northeast?

[Rolls.] And 12.

Kyle

Ein makes the turn and says,

Kyle (as Ein)

Cardinal directions are fantastic, but in relation to the car is where our main focus is.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. Well, in that case, right.

Ari

[Rolls.] Two.

Kyle

She turns right and just jumps off a ramp, because you didn’t say when right. You saw you had to turn right in like 30 feet, but you said it right now.

Ari

Oh!

Kyle

So she just turned, flies off a ramp, lands down somewhere else on the racetrack.

Kyle (as Ein)

Woo!

Ari

Misha actually will really like that.

Ari (as Misha)

Ooh!

Ari

Like they will scream really excited about that.

Ari (as Misha)

Well that was fun! I mean… not.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright, give me another one.

Ari

Alright. [Rolls.]

Ari (as Misha)

In 19 feet, turn left.

Kyle

With that one, Ein keeps going straight, and you could tell she should have turned like a few seconds ago. You’re about to hit a wall and she’s going faster, and faster…

Ari (as Misha)

Wait.

Kyle

…and she doesn’t seem to be turning.

Ari (as Misha)

I said to turn. Turn… We’re almost at the 19 feet.

Kyle

The astronaut turns towards you, and you can’t see Ein’s smile, but you can see just a glisten on her visor, and then she cranks the wheel to the left as the car skids, turns almost completely on its side, and the bouncy ball wheels hit off the wall, and the car flies forward at an even faster velocity.

Hallie

God, that’s horrifying and I love it.

Ari

Misha also loves it. Yeah, they’re really excited about it. They want to be annoyed with Ein, but they can’t because it’s actually really fun.

[Music fades.]

Ari (as Misha)

[Smiling.] Oh, you did that on purpose, didn’t you? You knew. You knew it would do that.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Emily

Elee’s trying not to crush Ness.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Ein)

Well, you gave me specific instructions.

Ari (as Misha)

I must admit, that was really fun.

Kyle

She’s just happy. She’s like,

Kyle (as Ein)

[Cartoonish laugh.] Aha! Aha-haha!

[Laughter.]

Kyle

You continue to skid back and forth, and you’re just consumed by the colors and the excitement, flashes of red as you’re about to skid, almost like “oh, red, stop,” but then it keeps going, and you know, it bounces off, and then there’s almost like a flash of red as you do another attack thing…

[The Lady with Cinnabar Lips’ theme begins.]

And then another flash of red as Ein’s face gives away, and you just see a blank-faced male figure in the driver seat.

Ari

In the driver seat?

Kyle

Yeah. Where Ein was there’s this what looks like to be basically a man, but the face you can’t see anything there, it’s all kind of blurry.

Ari (as Misha)

[Softly.] Ein?

Kyle

You don’t hear a response back.

Ari

Is the car still moving forward?

Kyle

The car is still moving forward. In fact, you turn ahead and you see, you could have sworn that you were supposed to go a different way. You thought you were supposed to go left, but the track looks right, and everything seems to be tinted red.

Ari

[Nervously.] Okay, uh, Misha will say,

Ari (as Misha)

Ein! Ein, if you can hear me, stop the car, please. Please!

Ari

And then they will try to unbuckle their own belt, if there’s a belt. I don't know if there’s a belt in this car, but they will try to leave the car while being like,

Ari (as Misha)

Ein, please, if you can hear me please stop the car. Please.

Ari

[Rolls.] And my roll is a 7.

Kyle

How do you go to leave the car?

Ari

Basically like just an impulsive thing, like leaning towards the door or reaching towards where they think the door is if there’s a handle. I don't know exactly the physics of this car, but wherever there’s a thing to open the door, and try to do it while telling Ein to stop the car, but also

[00:10:00]

they’re going to try and start counting like Elee taught Misha to do.

Emily

[Quietly.] Aww.

Kyle

You go to grab the handle on the car.

Ari (as Misha)

One.

Kyle

And you reach for it, but suddenly the car jerks to the side and you fly backwards, and this hand reaches over across the man onto the steering wheel.

Ari (as Misha)

Two.

Kyle

And it jerks the wheel to the left, and the face turns over to you, and you can’t see an expression except for a bit of concern.

[Karl’s theme begins.]

Ari (as Misha)

[Emotional.] Three.

Kyle

Then the figure disappears in a burst of crimson.

[The sounds of a car crash, and crackling fire begins.]

… Then, on the count of ten, you wake up. You can see the treetops above you, but it quickly gives way as these two bug eyes each illuminated with a bright red light come in front of you, and you hear,

Kyle (as CK)

Now there’s that other beautiful red light.

Ari (as Misha)

Go away.

Kyle (as CK)

But I was just saying—AH!

Kyle

And gets just shoved off to the side as the astronaut rushes in his place, and Ein quickly takes off the helmet and sets it to the side.

Kyle (as Ein)

Misha! Misha! Are you alright?

Ari

Misha, at the same time as Ein is saying that, will be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Ein, are you alright?

Kyle (as Ein)

I’m… I am fine. What happened?

Ari (as Misha)

Nothing. Nothing. I, uh, I just lost track of the road, that’s all. I got distracted by all of the lights in here, and I forgot to look at the road, and so, uh… I couldn’t give you directions because of that, but it’s fine. I’m fine now.

Kyle

Ein is just sitting there, and she does not believe your story for a second. [Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Ein)

Misha, I just have one more question.

[The sound of fire crackling ends.]

What color was the road?

Ari (as Misha)

What do you mean? It was too dark. I couldn’t—

Kyle (as Ein)

[Forcefully.] What color was the road, Misha?!

Kyle

Suddenly, Ein, who had been very quiet and like “I don’t wanna step on any toes or anything.”

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

But she looks frightening.

Ari (as Misha)

It was red, as well as everything.

Kyle (as Ein)

Tch. It did… didn’t… It didn’t fucking work! All… All of that and it led to nothing.

Ari (as Misha)

What are you talking about?

[Sad electronic music (Ein’s theme) begins.]

Kyle

Elee and Ness, you see Ein who has been kind of kneeling over Misha. She turns to you and she just says,

Kyle (as Ein)

Come on, there’s something I have to show you.

[Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

Hello, and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends Episode 67: One Neon Night, Part 9. I am Kyle, your GM, and our intro and outro songs are Friends and Hitoshio, both by Miracle of Sound.

Today’s announcement break was pretty early in the episode, so I’ll keep it nice and short. Today, all I wanna do is do a quick shout-out for Ryan Shanks. Ryan was one of the players in Tom’s original Numenera campaign, and he is the creator of Rockian Shanksfossil, who we transformed into the NPC of Rockryan Shanksfossil. That’s right, this strange, strange fossil-loving man not only knows Anastasia Brackleberry but was part of her core group as she reclaimed Ancuan. How? Why? I ask these questions because I don’t have an answer.

Anyways. Thanks again so much, Ryan, for letting us use Rockryan Shanksfossil. He was a blast to play, and I hope he was at least half as strange as he was when you played him.

This week’s episode was a week late, but because I really wanna keep on our schedule we’re actually gonna be releasing our next episode in one week, so it might not be exactly on Monday, but sometime next week and hopefully on Monday, November 23, you will be listening to our next episode, One Neon Night, Part 10. But, if you’d like additional content before then, you can find stories, artwork, and behind the scenes insights at Patreon.com/QuestFriends. I’ll see you there.

[Ein’s theme returns, carrying out of the announcements.]

Kyle

Hop, you know fossils, you’ve seen fossils.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

Xoc, you know of fossils. You’ve learned about fossils.

[00:15:00]

Tom

[Amused sniff.]

Kyle

And Rockryan, Rockryan lives fossils. He is in and of himself almost a fossil who collects them. In all of your combined experience, you’ve never seen anything like this.

[Haunting music begins.]

The whispers, they start to rise again.

Kyle (as the Preserve)

Gathenhollen. Travel the world. Jump in a parachute.

Fancy macaroons. I usually just get the cheaper, ugly ones.

I was lost. I was lost! I was lost.

Kyle

And these whispers conglomerate, and you realize that the whispers aren’t coming from vocals, they’re vibrating out of the sounds of these fossils, these small bricks that have combined together to make the shape of a hand which reaches around the corner and grips the wall of the room you’re in. The whispers get louder, they’re a mix between whispers and a wind, and as they do the remainder of the creature comes into the room: two large hands, humanoid-like legs, a rotund body. But as it moves and it stumbles it seems to crumble under its own weight, moving delicately enough to not hurt any of its individual parts… but with enough force to cause a lot of hurt to you.

What was everyone’s initiative rolls?

[Music ends.]

Tom

[Rolls.] I got a 10.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Thirteen.

Kyle

So Hop, you’re in the room, you got Redd’s Blessing, but you lost your way out, because the Preserve is right in front of it. What are you gonna do in the first round of combat?

Hallie

Um, so that nifty tunnel I discovered earlier, useless now.

Kyle

Useless. It’s on the complete opposite side of the cube you are in.

Hallie

[Hits something against her desk.] Great. Great-great-great.

Would you count the Preserve as an environmental obstacle—?

Kyle

It is not an environmental obstacle. It is a sentient being.

Hallie

Made of the environment!

Kyle

When we chose this rule we specifically chose it under the specifications that it couldn’t just mean anything. [Chuckles.]

Hallie

I don’t remember that.

Alright, fine. In that case, Hop feels like it is very likely that we cannot fight this thing head-on, because I believe it was said, in character, during a conversation with Bee and Rockryan, that only the steel that Elee has could hurt it. Right?

Kyle

I don't know if they said that, but they definitely—Rockryan is a fighter. He really is.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

And this thing is still “alive,” quote-unquote, so that pretty much tells you all you need to know.

Hallie

Yeah, okay. I mean, the vibe is don’t fight it, so I would like to trap it somehow or at least immobilize it so that we can book it.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

I would like to use an XP or two to have something available. We’re gonna do a net trap now. I’m gonna lasso something around his leg

[Laughing.] and just yank it.

Tom

[Flatly.] Yeehaw, partner.

Hallie

Yeah! Yeehaw!

Kyle

Sure… Sure.

Hallie

Alright. Is that 1 or 2 XP to have a thing I can use to lasso?

Kyle

Let’s do 1.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

And you’re gonna know why in a second.

Hallie

[Squirms.]

Kyle

Xoc, you see Hop run over to an item titled “Leik’s Failure.”

Hallie

Nooo!

Kyle

And he goes and he picks up what looks like a tape measurer.

Hallie

[Emotionally.] Leik loves tape measurers. Leik loved tape measurers.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

I’m gonna lasso this tape measurer. Here I go… Can I put Int into this? I’d like to—Will Calculate help me?

Kyle

Sure. Yeah.

Hallie

Yeah, I’m gonna use Calculate, and I’m gonna put 2 levels of Effort in, because I get 1 free tier with my Edge.

[Rolls.] That’s a 9.

[Quirky rambling music begins.]

Kyle

So Leik’s Failure was called Leik’s Failure for two important reasons: one, it was made by Leik; two, it failed. You whip out the tape measurer and it just extends around the legs of this creature, the fossilized legs. You know how with a tape measurer you can press a button to cause it all to recoil?

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

You press the little button to cause it all to recoil with the idea that it would scrunch around this thing’s legs causing it to trip, and as it goes to crush it slips through the cracks between the fossils and just kind of jumbles itself in the middle before returning to you. So, you didn’t stop it, but you do get to keep the artifact.

Hallie

Yay! I have a tape measurer. In response to that, Hop will,

Hallie (as Hopper)

That didn’t work!

Hallie

[Chuckles.] That’s unnecessary, but you know, he says it.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Alright, Xoc?

Tom

Xoc is going to use 3 XP at once, all that I have remaining.

Kyle

Okay.

Tom

And I’m going to try for that, um… I’m trying to remember the name of the first pedestal artifacts, because I know it was an alliteration, and I respect that about it.

Kyle

There was Tobias’s Promise and Olive’s… Was it Olive’s Attempt?

Tom

Eh, I guess that must have been it. I guess it wasn’t an alliteration. My whole life is a lie. But anyway, Xoc is going to take Olive’s Attempt, which looks almost like a cross between a vase and a candelabra that was peeled open, I’m going to say.

[00:20:00]

Xoc is going to run up, grab this artifact, run a hand along it, and all of a sudden veins along it start to glow and pulse a bit, and it gets a little too hot for Xoc to hold so he just sort of tosses it, and I want it to just turn a chunk of the floor to goop that just falls away, and I want that floor to be directly below the, uh… the, uh… I’m so sorry.

Kyle

The Preserve.

Tom

Preserve! Thank you. I want it to be large enough such that the Preserve falls through the floor.

Kyle

Yeah, so this candelabra vase goes and it opens up and it hits on the floor, and outside of it goops out this weird goop that consumes that tile of the floor and causes the Preserve to just fall down. You notice actually at first that it doesn’t seem to fall immediately, it almost seems to be floating itself in the air and just giving the illusion of walking, but—

Tom

[Delighted.] Did it look down and that’s when it fell?

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

Yes. It looks down as some of the goop attaches itself onto one of the fossils, and you can’t tell if it got pulled down or if it just fell down to pursue the fossil, but you can see part of its leg rips off for 4 points of damage and it falls down through the hole.

[Chase music begins.]

And Rockryan just goes,

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Huh… Time to leave.

Tom

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

And he just picks up his shovel, turns back to Bee, and says,

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Bee! We gotta go!

Kyle

You can see Bee and Q-BO are both using their lights to look at something.

Kyle (as Bee)

I think it says… flight controls?

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Bee, we gotta go now!

Kyle (as Bee)

Oh! Okay~

Kyle

Bee shwoops back into the vine and both of them take off over the hole and start running. I’m assuming you two do as well.

Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

Uh, Xoc is going to, against his better judgment, read what they were looking at before he leaves. I mean, we gotta pick up Q-BO anyway.

Kyle

Yeah. As you go to pick up Q-BO it’s exactly as Bee says. It’s a little pedestal with room for light to go inside of it that says, “Redd Module, Flight Controls.”

Tom

[Confused and chuckling.] I guess I take Q-BO and leave? I don't know how to use that.

Hallie

[Laughs.] We would need Bee for that, right?

Tom

We have no real reason to make this fly again, so yeah, we motor away.

Hallie

Yeah, we’ll just skedaddle.

Kyle

Okay, you book it, and you have a full turn with the book, but from behind you two of the hands reach out again, and the Preserve pulls itself up, and as it pulls itself up you see one of the legs twitch in and turn into more of a ghostly tail-like shape as the bits of the fossils that had been pulled off previously return back and the two legs fuse into a single tail as it gets those 4 HP back and is back to full health. From down the hallway, you’re running, and Rockryan’s like…

Kyle (as Rockryan)

[Raspy labored breathing.]

Kyle

…panting as he runs down one way, and behind you, you hear the whispers rattling through the fossils and rattling through the walls, so like vibrating in the fossils and into the walls themselves.

Kyle (as the Preserve)

A giant cockroach!

Are you keeping him down here?

They would be hamburger!

Kyle

As you round the corner you see, in front of Rockryan, illuminated by Bee’s light, a giant fist just emerge from around the corner as more and more fossils come to fill it, and one whisper just finally says…

[Music ends at a high tension point.]

Kyle (as the Preserve)

See ya.

Hallie

[Wheezes laughing.]

Kyle

…as it punches him in the face and he flies back against the wall behind him. Hop, it is your turn.

Hallie

Okay, so as the fist came out and Rockryan just flies backwards past Hop, Hop is gonna go into like a baseball slide, like on his heel, so that he can go under the Preserve.

Kyle

Okay. Yeah, it’s pretty slow. It’s just, the fist, you can see most of it turned into the fist, so it’s like reforming back into its general shape.

Hallie

Okay, and then while it’s doing that, after I (whoosh) underneath the Preserve, I have a box that holds a diorama of whatever room the user is in, an alteration to the diorama will perform the same alteration to the room itself, and I would like to make a separate cube room inside the diorama that locks the Preserve in a space that isn’t shared with us, with no doors.

Kyle

So you open the diorama and you see inside of it there is a little hallway and then there is this big space. On the left side, just like in the real space, on the left side is the Speedy Speed Boy lair, on the right side is everything else, and you’re on the right side right now coming out of the hallway.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

So what are you gonna do to draw that line between you and the Preserve?

Tom

Will you allow me to combo with this?

Kyle

What do you wanna combo?

Tom

I want to pass another cypher to Hopper to use as the cube in the diorama.

Kyle

Okay.

Tom

I wanna pass the pocket mirror cypher which causes light to bounce back and forth between it.

[00:25:00]

Hallie

That’s dope.

Tom

I wanna trap it in a giant pocket mirror, constantly lasering it back and forth.

Hallie

Gonna trap him in a hall of mirrors.

Kyle

Okay!

Hallie

Cyphers automatically work.

Tom

Cyphers automatically work!

Kyle

Yeah. Do you two wanna describe this or do you want me to just describe it?

[Heroic electronic music begins.]

Tom

So, Hopper slides underneath, right?

Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

And Xoc almost goes to throw it—thinks better of it.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom

Just bats the mirror and just shouts…

Tom (as Xoc)

Hopper Scotch!

Tom

…and the mirror flies down towards where Hopper is.

Kyle

I like to imagine, as you hit it, Xoc, it pops open and you see the (bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing), and each side starts to sear as it does.

Hallie

Hopper catches it by holding up the box, so he catches it in the box.

Kyle

And it hits right on the Preserve in the little box, and as it does you notice a vibration, you feel a vibration above you. The space itself inside of Redd starts to shake and quake, and you can feel this heat coming down the walls like an invisible force just slamming down on both sides.

Hallie

[Uneasily.] Oh…

Kyle

You could swear you almost see a reflection of the Preserve in the wall as both ends of the wall on the far side of this awning collapse mixing the fossils of the Preserve with the newly-made rubble of the Redd Module walls.

[Music ends.]

Tom

[Distressed.] Are Rockryan and Bee okay?

Hallie

Yeah. The first thing Hop does after that happens is,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Rockryan? You good?

Kyle

Yeah, you shout it into the void, and then out of the void a hand just grabs you by the shoulder and pushes you to the side.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Eh, I got a brand new bunch of fossils to get. You kept up on your word, kid. I’m happy with you.

Kyle (as Bee)

That is very high praise.

Tom

[Suppressed breathy chuckling.]

Kyle

Rockryan just keeps grumbling as he’s digging through the rubble and picking up pieces of fossil and just sticking them inside of his little bag.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh! Okay great, take as many as you want, but I think we should hurry and get out of here while we can.

Kyle (as Rockryan)

[Grumbles.] More fossils await.

Kyle (as Bee)

He was saying that he doesn’t wanna come along with you because he still has lots of fossils to collect, and as we can see these fossils are now completely harmless.

[Whispering sounds begin.]

Kyle

[Grinning.] And as Bee says that, you notice just like a little tentacle or arm, much smaller than the other ones, starts to rise, and this fist raises behind Rockryan and Bee as they say that.

Hallie

Can I panic-whack it with my shield? Just, AHH! [Laughs.]

Kyle

[Laughing.] Give me a roll.

Hallie

Panic-whack!

[Rolls.] Eleven.

Kyle

You go to panic-whack it and you just knock one of the pieces of rubble out of it, but it’s still going.

[Whispering fades.]

Emily

[Rolls.] I rolled a 19.

Hallie

Nice!

Kyle

[Amused.] Please, explain.

Emily

[Laughs.] So there’s a tentacle fist rising, from the…

Kyle

Made out of fossils. Rising.

Emily

Of fossils.

Kyle

But you can see this little wind-like ectoplasm that’s a faint bright green in between the fossils. So just describe the scene as they see it.

[Heroic music begins.]

Emily

So this continues to rise out of the rubble, and there’s like little crumbling sounds as it’s building size, and then all of a sudden it just stops moving? And you can see little bits of silver poking through from behind.

Kyle

Little bits, specifically, of blue silver, azure steel, the one thing that can hit an incorporeal enemy and the thing Elee’s claws are made out of. As the fossil just crumbles you see standing behind it, with her claws out, Elee Badge.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Excited.] Elee Badge! When did you get here?

Emily (as Elee)

Right now! I stabbed a rock!

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Laughs.] Thank you!

Tom (as Xoc)

W-Where’s Misha?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh… I am here, Xoc.

[Chuckling.]

Kyle

Xoc, you turn around to the other side and you see, just walking through the entranceway, Misha, Ein, and then CK.

Hallie

Ness? Is Ness there?

Kyle

Of—

Emily

Can I just have Ness clinging to my back as my protégé?

Hallie

Ness wanted in on the rock-punching action.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Yeah, so you don’t see Ness, but he just clambers down.

Hallie

Clambers up. He’s on top of Elee’s head now.

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey Xoc! It looks like you had more fun than we did.

Tom (as Xoc)

I think it’s a relative thing, Ness, but I’m glad to see you’re okay.

Hallie (as Ness)

I don’t have any relatives.

Tom

[Laughs.] Xoc doesn’t respond to that.

Hallie (as Ness)

[Laughing.] He’s dead serious.

Kyle

As you do that, a vine just goes next to you, Ness, and a little light goes to the end of the vine as the voice says,

Kyle (as Bee)

Relative… What does that word mean?

Emily

Elee unsheathes her claws again, because she’s not sure what’s going on. Is this another ghost? She’s not just gonna go stab it, but she’s got her claws out.

Tom

Xoc will have his hands up.

Tom (as Xoc)

No! No!

Hallie (as Hopper)

No! No-no-no!

Tom (as Xoc)

A friend. A friend. A friend!

Emily (as Elee)

Okay! Okay! Okay! No, not a ghost, not a rock ghost… Hello?

[00:30:00]

Kyle (as Bee)

Hi. My name is Bee.

Kyle

The vine rises up and just slaps itself down into your hand for a handshake.

Emily

[Confused.] I’ll shake it, very gently.

Kyle

Satisfied, Bee curls back.

Kyle (as Bee)

I came from here, and I am looking for fossils with my good friend…

Kyle (as Ein)

Rockryan.

[Someone snickers and giggles quietly.]

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Ein.

Kyle (as Ein)

So I notice you all have made good company.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah.

Kyle (as Ein)

You find what you were looking for?

Tom

Xoc will hold up—Actually, no. Who was holding Redd’s Blessing? Because I assume Hopper would have pulled it out.

Hallie

No, you pulled it out. You used your…

Tom

I was levering, so you had to pull it.

Kyle

Ness grabs it out of whoever has it.

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Me! I found it! What is this again? I don't really know what we’re doing here.

Emily (as Elee)

Don’t wave it around!

Hallie

It clunks against one of one of the tables. [Laughs.]

Hopper just grabs it back.

Ari (as Misha)

That’s Redd’s Blessing, isn’t it?

Tom (as Xoc)

As far as we can tell, yeah.

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Looks more like a fancy stick to me.

Emily (as Elee)

You seem pleasant.

Kyle (as Rockryan)

[Grunts.]

Tom (as Xoc)

How did everything go back at the hideout, Misha?

Ari (as Misha)

Uh, fine. It went fine. I had a lot of fun racing with Ein. You should tell us all about your adventures, though. I would be glad to hear them.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh…

Emily

Elee is giving Misha a LOOK.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Tom

Xoc is doing that protagonist thing where he’s looking down so the hood is just shadowing over his eyes so you can’t quite see them, and he just says,

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, well, I um... I parted ways with the nano spirits. I don’t have any of my magic anymore.

Ari (as Misha)

Wait. What?! When? Was that when you left? Why did you do that, Xoc?!

Tom (as Xoc)

It was while we were in here. They, um… They weren’t being very good people. They were being very, very rude, and they didn’t understand who you are as a person.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh…

Tom (as Xoc)

So, if they were going to not let me even use my powers anyway, no sense sticking around.

Ari (as Misha)

I apologize, Xoc. I didn’t want to cause this to your powers.

Tom (as Xoc)

You didn’t.

[Seasons of Love-like song begins.]

I made this choice. My powers aren’t what make me ‘me.’

Ari (as Misha)

That is true. I apologize anyways, but I still say that it is even more impressive that you got this without your powers. I am really proud of you, Xoc. Obviously, also of you, Simon Scotch, but…

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari (as Misha)

…both of you, really.

Tom

Xoc will do that awkward hair brush thing.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, huh… I used up most of the other things I have with me, but I still have a few odds and ends.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Xoc did great.

Ari (as Misha)

That’s amazing. I see you met other people as well. I haven’t introduced myself to them.

Ari

Misha will do so. I’m not going to do the whole introduction.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

As Misha goes off to introduce themselves, Ein just goes over to you, Xoc and Hop, and quietly says,

Kyle (as Ein)

I have something I need to show all of you.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, let’s not waste any time then.

Kyle

As she walks away she adds,

Kyle (as Ein)

[Projecting.] Not you, Rockryan.

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Fine! I didn’t really wanna go anyway.

Tom

[Quietly.] I didn’t think he would follow us even if we wanted him to.

Hallie

No. [Laughs.]

There’s no way.

Kyle (as Rockryan)

I wanna check out some fossils here. I don’t care about any of that.

Kyle

He just turns his back, he doesn’t acknowledge any of you, but one last time Bee waves and says,

Kyle (as Bee)

Goodbye~ Come back if you ever need any… help! That’s what they said we did.

[Oppressive ambient music begins.]

Kyle

So you make your way through the tunnels that Hop had seen earlier. It seems like everyone got here through that pathway that leads to the shore, but you don’t go back through that pathway. Instead, you take the fork on the road and you go deeper into the depths of the ruins of Coachman’s Tree.

To most of you, this walk feels the same as the remainder of Coachman’s Tree. Sure, you can’t see anything because it’s super dark, but you couldn’t see anything above ground either. Most of the space is still illuminated by this bright neon netting and this haphazard wooden assembly. But with each step, Misha, you feel more and more of your memory return, and while no one else notices it, a small red light on the wall continues to grow brighter.

You eventually make your way to a room. Ein goes to let everyone in, but Misha, you feel almost as if a force is holding you back,

[Music fades.]

something that’s like tightening your neck as if you’re struggling to breathe, you know, you’re breathless… and then you realize it’s very physical, as your scarf, which had been kind of apprehensive, seems to aggressively not want to enter the room.

Several

Aww.

Ari

I will say as they were approaching Misha would have reached for Xoc’s hand, and like hold it, and as they are approaching more they would like hold it more tight.

[00:35:00]

Tom

Xoc will give a squeeze of reassurance.

Kyle

The scarf continues to pull, but eventually realizing you won’t give up it relents and it slips its other end into your other hand.

Tom

Aw.

Kyle

You’re not sure if it’s comforting you or itself. The room reverberates with this loud echoey sound as you enter.

Kyle (as CK)

Ah, home speed home! That’s what you call it, right Ein? [Chuckles.]

Kyle (as Ein)

Yes, that is what I call “my” space, CK. I would not use it for this.

[Threatening ethereal music begins.]

Kyle

This space is a bit darker than the rest. It seems whoever was in charge of it did not like the neon lights of Coachman’s Tree. The only light you can really make out at all are the few candles from Q-BO and then that bright red spotlight coming from Misha’s eye. But you don’t need to see the space to know it, Misha.

In front of all of you Ein is shuffling through some drawer. She seems to be looking for something. She pushes past some blueprints. She pushes past a large ratty lab coat. She pushes past this little, it looks like a radio relay, that when she bumps into it actually sparks with life and just starts whirring around as if it’s trying to pick up a signal. As she continues to ruffle, Ein says,

Kyle (as Ein)

Make yourselves as comfortable as you can, I guess. I know it’s not the most welcoming place in the Beyond.

Ari (as Misha)

Even if it were, I don't think I would feel very comfortable here regardless.

Kyle

At that, she stops and just takes in a breath.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Ein)

I should probably explain to all of you why you’re here. This is the lab of Dr. Signus Collodi. Forty-five years ago this lab was the site where The Lady With Cinnabar Lips should have died.

But… she didn’t.

[Outro song plays, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound.]

Kyle

In this moment, Misha, you don’t understand everything, you don’t remember everything – it’s rushing back quickly, it’s making its way there – but while you don’t remember everything, you don’t understand everything, you do understand why Ein’s statement has to be true.

Kyle (as Ein)

We know The Lady With Cinnabar Lips didn’t die…

Ari (as Misha)

Because I didn’t.

[Outro music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Kyle

But you don’t go back through that pathway, instead you take the fork on the road and you go deeper into the depths of the blog—

[Mocking himself.] The blog.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom

Well, I mean, it’s already filled with vine references, so maybe the bog really is called the blog.

[Laughter.]

Ari

Blog!

Kyle

The blog!

Tom

The great blog of the Ba-Adenu Forest.

Ari

Is that truly what all of the messages of the Preserve are all along? It’s just comments from people on blogs? Blog comments?

Kyle

It’s so good.

Tom

[Breathy.] Yes. Yes!

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Had I not been calling it “the bog” this whole time I would hard course to calling it “the blog.”

Hallie

You’ve been calling it “the bog.” “The blog” came out of nowhere. It just happens to work really well.

Tom

It works so well.

Kyle

We’re gonna flash forward to the scene where this happens. Ness walks up, hands the piece of paper to Hop, Hop says “yeah, this won’t hold up in court,” and then says “actually, I don't know, considering their understanding of laws.”

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie

[Laughing.] That was the plan! Ness is gonna be like, “this is legally binding,” and it’s written in crayon!

[Laughter.]

And Hopper’s like, “I don't know about that, but let me do some research,” because he wants it to be legally binding.

[Laughing.] I’ve derailed the whole scene. I’m so sorry. I just wanted everybody to know!

[Episode ends - 00:39:09.]