Ep. 72: Xoc’s Memory, Part 1

[Gentle, hopeful piano music begins.]

Kyle

Accessing your memories isn’t a passive process. You’re not taking a photo out of some drawer in the back of your brain and admiring it, you’re reconstructing it, remaking that moment as you remember it.

But, memory isn’t perfect, and so for those really prominent memories, the ones you continuously return to, eventually it’s like taking a picture of a picture of a picture. The small changes turn into big ones, and if you’re not careful you may find yourself trapped in something far different from that cherished moment you so desperately want to relive.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Skip-skip-skip skip-skip-skip.

BLOOSH!

Skip-skip-skip skip-skip-skip skip-skip-skip.

BLOOSH!

Ripples emanate out from the newly disturbed water as another small rock makes a surprisingly loud SPLOOSH into its waves, and the ripples continue outwards until they eventually rest at two pairs of feet. By one of the pairs a segmented metallic hand reaches down and starts scuffling through the pebbles before eventually finding one and picking it up.

David (as Horus)

Now Xoc, your technique is getting better, but you have to remember choosing the correct stone is half of the process.

Tom (as Xoc)

But Horus, it’s really hard. I don’t… eh. Why can’t I just use this rock?

Kyle

[Chuckling.] He picks up a log?

Tom

[Chuckling.] A very square rock.

David (as Horus)

Because that rock has other things it’s better at. Part of skipping stones is recognizing where each rock shines and then helping give it the exact throw it needs.

Tom (as Xoc)

It’s hard though. I just… I’m just worried I’ll never get any better at it, because they all sink, every time.

David (as Horus)

Hmm…

Kyle

To the left of you, Xoc, this giant thin robot strokes his non-existent beard, something he always claimed the wisest humans in The Beyond were apt to do.

David (as Horus)

Well, if you want to use that stone but the method you’re using isn’t working, then I suppose we’ll have to invent a different way to skip, won’t we little friend?

Tom (as Xoc)

I guess so.

David (as Horus)

Now…

Kyle

And he reaches out his hand for the stone.

Tom

Xoc will hand it over to him.

David (as Horus)

I want you, without the stone, to show me how you throw it.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I do… this! [Grunts.]

Tom

And Xoc does the most overhand spike down into the water pantomime throw that he possibly can.

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles.] Okay. Okay. Now…

Kyle

And he hands the stone back to you.

David (as Horus)

I want you to try the exact opposite.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Unsure.] Well… okay.

Tom

[Chuckling.] Xoc will throw underhand back over his own shoulder.

Kyle

[Grinning.] Give me a roll.

Tom

Hang on. My dice are over there. The one thing I didn’t get. [Struggles.]

[Rolls.] That’s a 7.

Kyle

Okay, so you know no cats are getting injured. There’s no MROW!

Tom

Well he threw it back over his shoulder into the water.

Kyle

Oh, so you turned around and then you threw it back behind you?

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

Okay. For a second it looks like it skips, skips, skips across the lake.

Tom (as Xoc)

Wait. Wait-wait. What happened? I didn’t… I didn’t see it! Horus, did it skip? Did it work?

David (as Horus)

Well Xoc, why don’t you see for yourself?

[Magical, sentimental music begins.]

Kyle

As you turn around you can see, dotted across the lake, little angry glowing lights of the small insectoid-like crustaceans. What happened is the stone skipped on top of the clumps of the crustaceans. They’re not injured, but they’re very upset.

[00:05:00]

Tom (as Xoc)

Ooh… Did I hit the crabs? I’m sorry crabs.

David (as Horus)

Uh… I’d like to think of it as the crabs helping you skip your stone, so be sure to say thank you.

Tom (as Xoc)

Thank you crabs!

Kyle

The technicolor lights slowly fade out leaving behind only the illumination of the stars and the soft glow of the Weal’s barrier a few dozen feet out into the sea.

Tom (as Xoc)

Horus, this is fun but it’s also very hard. I don’t want to try anymore today. Can I go back and get a snack? I’m hungry.

[Music ends.]

David (as Horus)

Ah… right, food. [Chuckles.]

Yes. I think Jaykell would have gotten something together by now.

Kyle

As this giant robot makes his way to the steps leading from the docks up to the rest of the Weal of Baz, he turns over and reminds to you:

David (as Horus)

Now mind the stairs.

Tom (as Xoc)

Okay Horus.

Kyle

One… two. A one-two. A one-two-three.

Stairs are just so much more exciting when you try to put some sort of rhythm and beat to it. You imagine yourself as a stone skipping across the lake if only to make yourself feel better, because you are marginally better at moving yourself across stairs than you are at moving stones across a lake.

Tom

Xoc likes to make it into a game where he has to get up a certain length of stairs before the crabs finish walking across one stretch of the beach.

Kyle

What’s your goal today?

Tom

Oh, you gotta get up all three flights to the point where you can’t really see the beach anymore.

Kyle

Okay. Give me a roll.

Tom

[Rolls.] My dice are loaded. That is a… that’s a 7. [Sighs.]

Kyle

One, two. A one-two-three. A one-two-three-four. A one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. A one, two, three, four, five, six, se—BONK!

On the eighth step, Xoc, you misplace your feet a bit and you accidentally stumble over.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Groans.] Ow…

Kyle

As you look down you can see the bright technicolor crabs, the light blinks twice in a ha-ha at you before sinking to the other side of the beach.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Disappointed.] Oh… of course I wasn’t fast enough.

[Curious ethereal music.]

Kyle

As you look up you realize that Horus actually couldn’t hear you, he must have crossed some bend in the stairs, and now you no longer can see where he is, which normally wouldn’t be an issue, but you find yourself at a crossroads: one set of steps to the left, another set of steps to the right. It’s hard to tell.

There may have been steps here at some point, but so few machines go to the beach that the steps are kind of molded back into the mountainside, and it’s hard to tell at this point which part was artificially designed anymore.

Tom (as Xoc)

Um, well, this is okay, because I’m good at finding my way around places, and um, when I’m lost I’m always supposed to take right turns. Yes.

Tom

Xoc heads up the right path.

Kyle

As Xoc makes his way across the right path we can hear the waves brushing up against the rock. They’re gentle and soft, but they’re still waves. It’s still a sea. As we zoom out and out and out we see a few sparse lights from the Weal and the bright barrier that protects it as the machines rest for the night.

[Music ends.]

We see all of that on the left, but Xoc, you went right, so you keep walking and making your way, and the steps are getting weird. There’s long stretches of flat at points. They become ramps. Some steps are just rocks, but if you try to step on them they actually shake a little bit. It’s not perilous for you, it’s just very clearly not used in a long time.

Tom (as Xoc)

Um… well, this doesn’t look like the right way back, but maybe I’m not… [Exhales.]

Tom

If Xoc looks behind him, does he see a clear way back to the fork or is he getting more lost as he continues?

Kyle

Baby Xoc, take a GM Intrusion for me. [Chuckles.]

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

You see the way back, but you hear something else. You hear what you can only imagine as the whispers of a ghost.

[00:10:00]

Kyle (as “ghost”)

[Long woeful moan.]

Tom

Xoc will slowly turn back around.

Tom (as Xoc)

Um… H-Hello?

Kyle (as “ghost”)

[Long woeful moan.]

Tom

He’ll take a few steps forward.

Tom (as Xoc)

I think I’ve met everyone in the Weal, and I don't think I recognize your voice. Do you also live here? Is this where your home is?

Tom

Xoc continues walking forward.

Kyle

The sound which originally was just part of the wind seems to echo more.

Kyle (as “ghost”)

[Long woeful moan.]

Kyle

You notice it’s echoing because it’s coming from this cave, this little nook that’s a few dozen feet above the sea below.

Tom

Xoc will step into it, still looking around for who’s speaking, just continue calling.

[Echoing in the cave.] H-Hello? Is anyone there? Can you hear me?

Kyle

In response to you, in the distance you see a little light blink.

Tom

Xoc walks towards that light.

[Mysterious, magical music.]

Kyle

As Xoc walks towards the light the rest of us can see around him that this is no natural nook. It’s much too… to steal the shape of the rock, it’s much too square, almost as if it was some box built into the Cliffside. But compared to the rest of the Weal, which has a more kind of rustic industrial feel to it, there’s something more sleek about the creation of this area as if it was created some long time before the Weal with some different intent.

As Xoc walks in we can see his reflection on these glassy mirror-like devices that extend to and fro inside of this box creating almost the perfect sound cave, an echo chamber. I think of it almost like a satellite dish meant to capture rays, one of those things where it’s meant to take sound waves or electrical waves or some kind of signal and amplify it, and that light hangs over this metal circle the size of maybe a boxing ring or a small arena.

As you get closer, Xoc, you just hear the voice even more.

Kyle (as “ghost”)

[Long woeful moan.]

Tom (as Xoc)

I… I don’t see you, but I can hear you. What… Do you need help? Is there anything I can do?

Tom

Xoc will also try to reach out to the light as he approaches it.

Kyle

As Xoc reaches towards the light, he takes one step into the ring, and then another…

[Xoc’s magic song begins.]

…and suddenly you don’t just hear the voice anymore, you feel it around you, and you almost see this faint smoke that obscures yet brightens the light, and the smoke changes from this vague gaseous shape to something more similar to a ball of strings, a large cloud of threads which you can feel linking to somewhere deep inside of you, especially near that robotic plate in your head, and linking out somewhere in the distance yet somewhere next to you as if you’re connected to some far-off reality that is at the same time layered on top of your own world.

[Music ends.]

As strange as it all is, this connection provides clarity, as you’re finally connected enough to the voice that you were hearing, that you can hear its intent in all clarity.

[Nano spirits arrival sting.]

Kyle (as nano spirits)

Hey… Xoc.

[Sound of chimes.]

**Loell

Hmm, do I move it to the right? Maybe the left? No, the center?

Loell

Loell, how’s he gonna eat if his bowl is at the center of the table?

Loell

[Sigh] Mama?

Mama (from upstairs)

Yes, Loell!

Loell

You moved the mirror to the end of the shelf again!

Mama (from upstairs)

It looks nice there!

Loell

But it’s not safe.

Mama 

I thought you were fretting over the soup bowls?

Loell

Well… yes. Because look at it! When it’s two people eating, there’s one bowl for each side of the square table, but when you add a third person, it’s all uneven, and he’s definitely going to hate that! Unless you turn the table sideways and put someone at the corner of the table, but no one eats on the corner of the table, and -

[00:15:00]

Mama

Loell, it’s fine. Not everything has to be perfectly in place.

Loell

Mmmmmmmmm.

Mama

Loell…

Loell

Let me try just one more thing!

Loell

Maybe if I move all of the bowls, then -

Mama

What was that?

Loell

I know, but I can’t just leave it like this...

Mama

No, honey! Outside!

Loell

Outside? Oh… Oh, outside! But I’m not ready for him to be outside.

Mama

Them!

Loell

What?

Mama

Yeah, there are two of them. And what a lovely dragon, too.

Loell

WHAT?

Loell

Just a second!

Mama

Loell, I’ll get it.

Loell

That’s, uh, that’s not the issue!

Loell

JUST A SECOND!

Mama

Why hello there!

Commander TJ

You see that, Marv? You’ve gotta put your biceps into a proper door knock. But I suppose you need ‘em first, am I right?

Marv

Insightful as always, TJ. Anyways, good afternoon ma’am. It’s a pleasure to be invited into your gorgeous home.

Mama

Oh, well...

Marv

We’re with the Angulan Knights. I’m Marv Strongarm, and this is Commander TJ.

Commander TJ

That’s Commander TJ to you.

Marv

Exactly as I said it.

Commander TJ

So where’s the fresh meat!?

Mama

Loell, come say hello.

Loell

O-o-o-h. Well…

Commander TJ

Stand up straight, meat! Like a man! And don’t flounder so much, if you’ve got something to say, just say it.

Loell

Yes sir! [heavy nervous breathing]

Commander TJ

Speaking of meat...where’s the food?

Loell

[Nervous sounds.]

Marv

You can speak.

Loell

O-on the table, sir.

Marv

Thank you. At ease.

Commander TJ

Alright then! Wait a second… There’s three bowls! And by my last count, there’s…

Marv

...four of us, sir.

Commander TJ

Exactly! So where’s the last bowl?

Loell

Right, I -

Commander TJ

Are taking the manly sacrifice - doing what needs to be done. 

[Loud laugh/snort]

I like it!

Mama

Would either of you like some tea?

Commander TJ

Tea? Is that the kind of stuff skinny meat like this kid drinks?

Marv

That sounds lovely.

Commander TJ

Eh… Well, did ya hear him? You’re on deck, waterboy, get the gEnTLEmAn over here a drink!

Loell

So… you want tea?

Commander TJ

GO!

Mama

Does your dragon need anything?

Commander TJ

[Laughs]

Dragon? That’s what we call a Xi Drake, ma’am. And Inuki, nah, she’s fine. 

Mama

She sounds hungry.

Commander TJ

Nah, she just groans like that from time to time. She’s probably upset about the flowers. I can tell what she really wants. 

Mama

You understand what she’s saying?

Commander TJ

That’s the kind of connection we men have with our steeds.

Loell

Tea! I have tea!

Commander TJ

What the hell do you got tea for?

Loell

Oh. Sorry, I just thought someone wanted...

Marv

I’ll take some tea!

Commander TJ

Marv doesn’t know what he wants.

Marv

I want tea.

Commander TJ

[Snort] Well, a REAL Angulan Knight only drinks the purest dew from the tallest mountain, but whatever, I guess. …Well, what the hell are you waiting there for? You gonna keep standing there or are you gonna pour us some tea?

Loell

Oh! S-s-sorry, I just thought.

Commander TJ

Well then don’t think! An Angulan Knight knows, dammit!

Loell

S-sorry again.

Commander TJ

Stop apologizing. It makes you look like a scared little lamb. Besides, if you’re gonna apologize for anything, it should be for dragging us to this rustbucket town! We don’t normally come out this far for recruits.

Marv

But we really should, because it’s beautiful out here, by the way. Really refreshing place to be.

Commander TJ

Us Angulan Knights don’t often loiter around flyover towns and we’re not gonna loiter here.

Marv

Again, absolutely lovely.

Commander TJ

So. Lambchop.

Loell

I’d… um… well...

Mama

It’s okay, sweetie.

[00:20:00]

Marv

It really is. We’ve received your application, obviously, but, now that we’re here, go ahead and tell us some more about why you want to join the Knights. 

Commander TJ

What do you mean why? Battling with the coolest dudes in all of the Ninth World, racing around from victory to victory atop rad-as-shit dragons? Who wouldn’t want that?

Marv

Let’s let him tell us.

Commander TJ

I thought I gave some pretty good reasons.

Marv

Nevertheless, I’d like to hear him say.

Loell

Why? Well, I honestly haven’t seen much of the Ninth World beyond this small cabin. Things are always moving in the Pyranthion Empire, always changing - every year a new army marches by, only a few miles from our home, making changes I can’t even imagine.  So I guess I am interested in all those things the Commander said, but really, above all else, when I think of the Angulan Knights, I don’t think of all the places I’m going to go. I think of my home, and my Mama, and I… just want to keep them safe.

Mama

Oh, sweetie.

Marv

That’s the most confident you’ve sounded all afternoon.

Commander TJ

You gotta have confidence to be an Angulan Knight. But you gotta have it all the time. 28/7! Are you sure you can do that?

Loell

Please! I… need this.

Commander TJ

Eh. Please. Need. All sounds clingy to me.

Marv

And determined to me.

Commander TJ

[Noncommittal sounds]

Marv

TJ...

Commander TJ

Fine. Then we’ll settle this like true knights.

Mama

Oh!

Commander TJ

Arm wrestle me, Marv!

Marv

With pleasure, TJ. Three. Two. One...

Commander TJ

[Strained grunts]

Commander TJ

Come on Marv, let out your war cry!

Marv

[Unphased]

Oh, I will when I need to.

Commander TJ

[Strained grunts worsen]

SFX: Arms slam down on table.

Marv

Ha! I win. Again.

Commander TJ

Yeah, yeah. You know what they say - speak softly and carry a Strongarm!

Marv

So...

Commander TJ

...you made your point.

Loell

His point?

Commander TJ

Ugh. If you so choose, you may attempt to join the ranks of the Angulan Knights.

Loell

Really?

Marv

Really. Giant battles, fearsome enemies, awe-inspiring victories, all in the service of keeping those you care about safe. If you say yes, you can be a part of all of that. So… what do you say, bud?

[Sound of chimes]

Kyle

Electricity whirs through Powerstand Street. Thin wires, thick wires, little solar panels, all sorts of ways of powering up and helping machines regain at least enough energy to continue. Yet, in this area of brightness and warmth and power, something lurks in the shadows.

[Unsettling, stealthy music begins.]

Unit 909 walks up to plug themselves in. They start talking with the power source, not negotiating, there is no currency out here in the Weal, just discussing. How is your day? Standard stuff like that. How was your cycle? I don't know, something more robotic-sounding.

Tom

[Laughs.] Keep that whole exchange in. How was your day? How was your cycle? You know, something more robotic sounding.

Kyle

[Laughs.] But as they go to plug themselves in a wind rushes past them,

[Music changes to edgy action music.]

and they feel some static electricity on their plug, but as they look to the right to see the figure that caused this they just see a cloak swish out of view.

Tom

So Xoc tugs on the blanket to make sure that it is securely tied around his neck and then leaps from stand to stand, bouncing across the heads of a couple of robots just plugging in, and then Far Steps up onto a ledge above, swings on a cable, Far Steps again down again, running in between a couple more machines.

Kyle

As you’re bouncing from machine to machine, none of which appreciate it, you hear a…

Kyle (as robot)

Agh! Oof!

Kyle

…but you don’t care, you’re rushing, because you know behind you something follows. [Ends menacingly.]

Yeah, and where are you right now?

[Music ends.]

[00:25:00]

Tom

So Xoc is currently running down Powerstand Street, a squiggly, arguably main thoroughfare through the Weal of Baz where many types of machines can come to receive whatever type of power they need to get through their day.

[Scary musical sting begins.]

Kyle

And sure enough, while you enjoy your bouncing for a little bit, after a while you hear, as large hideous hooves gallop through the crowd, this demonic voice behind you.

Kyle (as “monster”)

Xoc!

[Music ends.]

It’s nap time!

Tom

Am I still Baby Xoc, or…?

Kyle

Yes.

Tom

Alright.

Tom (as Xoc)

No~!

Tom

[Laughing.] Then Xoc is going to Far Step up onto a rooftop and run across it.

Kyle

[Chuckling.] And let’s have a chase.

[Elevator music begins.]

Reminder of chase mechanics, you will start 3 steps away from this monster that is chasing you. Because you’re a baby, they will actually get two actions each turn to chase you. You will get one to outmaneuver them. When it gets to a 5 distance you’re fully away, you’re safe. If it gets to a 1 you are caught. You hear the monster beneath you go,

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as “monster”)

[Huffs.] Humans are so unreasonable.

[Chase music begins.]

Kyle

As you go to Far Step away, a second before you can, you actually feel this claw reach out from behind the crowd and try to swing at you.

Tom

You want me to roll a Speed defense for that?

Kyle

Yeah, roll me a Speed defense for that.

Tom

[Rolls.] Well that’s a 4.

Kyle

The claw snags onto your cape which tears a little bit before you’re able to Far Step away.

Tom (as Xoc)

No-no-no-no-no. No… It’s so good.

Kyle

As you’re distracted a little bit, by your outfit, your wizard’s robes getting injured, this monster is able to get a little closer, so it is 2 steps away and it is your turn to make an action.

Tom

So Xoc, trying to cradle the cape to keep it from tearing further, is just running along a rooftop, kicks off of a chimney, and is going to Far Step onto a pile of fabric and textiles that has just been stacked orderly next to the street.

Kyle

Okay. Since you’re not super used to your powers yet I am gonna have you roll for this as well.

Tom

Okay.

[Rolls.] A 19.

Kyle

Not many machines in the Weal use fabric, only those who go out and then humans, so these are pretty much all your clothes so you’re more familiar with it than pretty much any “monster” would be.

Tom

So Xoc kicks off this chimney, Far Step flops down onto the fabric to lessen the impact, just sort of bounces off of it, and then continues just running along on his little feets down the street.

Kyle

As your obstacle, you’re going to do that, but you see two elderly robots crossing the street, but it’s not with a plane of glass it’s just with a large piece of sheet metal.

Tom

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

They’re crossing the road, and that’s what you have to get past. [Chuckles.]

Tom

Xoc is going to try to Far Step above the sheet metal as if he had done a cool flip over it but just using teleports to do what his little legs cannot.

[Rolls.] I rolled a 1.

Kyle

[Smiling.] Bad news.

You go to Far Step, but you accidentally trip on a loose cable, and as you do you can see behind you all of Powerstand Strip’s lights just start going out one by one…

Tom

[Like a long sob.] No~!

Kyle

…as you knock into this plug and unplug it.

[Music ends.]

Tom

[Mournfully.] Oh no~!

Kyle

And you stumble to the ground in front of one of the old robots which just,

Kyle (as old robot)

[Grumble-grunts.] They let it out again.

Tom (as Xoc)

Uh… I’m sorry.

Tom

Then Xoc’s gonna like try to crawl under the sheet metal quickly and continue scampering away.

[Oppressive unsettling music begins.]

Kyle

As you scamper away this thing still has one more action as you are two feet away, and you notice that with all the lights out you can’t see much… except for the bulbs from the eyes of this angry, venomous, vicious face which belts out at you.

Kyle (as “monster”)

Xoc, you get back here this instant!

Kyle

And the lights disappear as this thing jumps up into the sky to pounce on top of you.

Tom

Yeah. Xoc’s going to just do a dead stop so that this creature overshoots and then scurry in a different direction.

[Rolls.] That is a 2.

Kyle

A crack of lightning lets out as this creature pounces on you, Xoc.

[Music ends with a crack of thunder. A downbpour of rain begins.]

We see, down closer to the sea, a windmill start to pick up speed as more wind comes through.

[00:30:00]

It’s right next to this zigzagging chimney which is right next to the gently glowing barrier that is all on the sea-facing side of the Weal of Baz, and we actually see as a bird races away from the rain and bursts through this barrier and stands on top of the chimney while the rain continues to pelt on the barrier itself.

[SFX ends.]

Before we discuss Xoc’s fate, let’s talk about the Weal a bit.

[Magical, ambling robotic music begins.]

Tom

So, the Weal is a settlement composed very nearly entirely of machines. It essentially is a cylinder drilled down into an impossibly large mountain range with the occasional tunnel or entrance intersecting it and a small edge that is open to the sea.

It’s full of relatively small, just a little bit ramshackle buildings that have been erected over the course of at least centuries and perhaps even millennia, depending upon who you ask, to house different types of machines or different supplies they might need. At the center of the circle there’s sort of a larger building that everyone meets in. There’s an energy barrier that surrounds all of the lived-in areas of the Weal to keep it safe.

Kyle

Specifically safe from the elements.

Tom

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

Which is why I did the little bird thing. You might be surprised about this, but machines aren’t super good with water. They tend not to mix super well.

Tom

[Wobbly.] Depends on the machine.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Because the drilled-in cylinder has an open-air top, and then yeah, I think of it like a Barbie doll house almost where you’ve got the protected front half that has all these rocks and stuff and a secret entrance, but then when you flip the house around it’s just open air on the seaside.

Tom

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

And because hail, rain, thunder, any of those could easily wreak havoc, there is this barrier that essentially serves as the fourth wall so to speak.

Tom

Mm-hmm. Their last submarine left well before Xoc’s time over creative differences, so not as much use on the beach side these days.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Yeah, the Weal originally was a kind of safe haven for machines…

Tom

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

…but in the past centuries the Weal has kind of just folded into itself. There was a period where those living there just decided that they were happy to stay in the Weal. So, for many-many-many-many years no one entered the Weal and very few machines left. It wasn’t until six or so years ago that the Weal got an actual new resident.

[Music ends. Door knocking SFX.]

David (as Horus)

Now I wonder who that could be.

Kyle

Horus walks up from the little tool shelf he has, an area that he stores all of his adventuring supplies in, and he walks towards the door.

[Thunder and rain SFX.]

As he opens it up, thunder still emanating in the background, he can see the shadow of this large looming multi-limbed creature, and in front of him a small little boy. The monster says in a horrifying voice,

Kyle (as “monster”)

Tell him.

Tom

So Xoc is wriggling around, still squirming.

Tom (as Xoc)

No! No. You’re evil, Jaykell. You ripped my cape!

Kyle (as Jaykell)

I am perfectly aware of that, Xoc. Now tell your guardian what you did.

Tom (as Xoc)

I… I jumped on a lot of people’s heads, and I ran around even when Jaykell told me to come back, and I didn’t come back for nap time because I’m not tired… so there.

David (as Horus)

Oh… [Chuckles softly.]

Is it true, Jaykell, that you raced through Powerstand Street and caused an awful lot of trouble along the way?

[SFX ends.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

[Gasps, abashed.]

[No longer menacing.] Don’t rub it in, Horus.

Kyle

The seemingly-threatening figure behind you, Xoc, slinks down, and we can finally see what he looks like.

[Quirky waltz music.]

As the figure slinks down, we can see what looks to be almost a robotic caterpillar that, when standing on his end, can’t be more than a few inches taller than Baby Xoc. This is Jaykell. Unlike Horus, who is a tall humanoid robot about maybe Misha size, so giant to you as a baby but  not actually “that” that big, Jaykell is a lot stranger.

[00:35:00]

He kinda looks like a metallic caterpillar or bookworm, but up near where his head is, by where I guess his chest would be, there is a metal cravat, the little bit of showiness or fancifulness for this higher society robot who serves as your tutor.

And also today, yes, seamstress, as he grabs your ripped blanket, and mumbling to himself, scurries off to start sewing it again for the third time this week.

[Music ends.]

Tom

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

So yeah, tell me a bit about your house.

[Nostalgic, homey music begins.]

Tom

So, their house looks very small and homey. There’s not like a lot of decorations or furniture, and what is there is very utilitarian. There’s places to store things that need to be kept somewhere out of the way. There’s a work surface for anything that Horus needs to get done. There is a bed for Xoc, and I’ll say more of a resting nook for Horus, not a bed in a traditional sense, and they have a single table with a few chairs, but it’s all very warm light colors, soft hues and light browns and all that.

I would imagine there is some kind of radiator as well for when things get cold around here, and there’s all sorts of weird chimney stacks and pipes and all that leading out to get various utilities they might need or to work some device that Horus has been working on. The whole thin gives off almost a fairy tale vibe, because it somehow feels both old and dingy but also very warm and comfortable.

Kyle

By the door there is always probably the worst part of the house which is that little supply station I mentioned at the beginning where Horus assembles all the things he needs and puts them in a little compartment to go off on his scavenging missions, which is terrible both because you don’t get to come along and that also means you’re stuck with mean old Jaykell.

Tom

[Quiet breathy laughs.]

Kyle

Who doesn’t live here, but he might as well.

Tom

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

As you look you can see that the little satchel for leaving is getting filled again.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Xoc)

Horus, you didn’t tell me you were going on another mission.

David (as Horus)

I am so sorry, little friend, I didn’t know I was going to leave so soon, but it seems that Reference Section needs an emergency part so I need to head out in search of it immediately.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, you weren’t able to stay for as long this time, so you know, I think… I think that’s a good reason for me to come along, even if it’s just for the other months you would have been here. I can stay for that long and come back after. I promise I’d even… I’d even take my nap times.

David (as Horus)

I am sure you would, Xoc, but if you go out with me poor Jaykell’s gonna be all by himself. He gets lonely, you know?

Tom (as Xoc)

Well maybe I don't care if Jaykell is lonely for a little while. I’m lonely sometimes too. Does Jaykell care then?

Tom

For the record, Xoc is also like pouting a little bit now, thinking about having to take care of Jaykell.

David (as Horus)

You’d be surprised.

Tom (as Xoc)

I… I know your job is really important, and I’m glad you get to do it, but I still miss you when you’re gone, Horus. I don’t want to be apart like this all the time.

David (as Horus)

Xoc…

Tom (as Xoc)

I know I can… I can be helpful! I have all these powers now. I’d be really useful to have on an adventure. Please. Please! Come on. Please? Please, please-please-please, please-please-please? Please…?

Kyle

Horus starts stroking his nonexistent beard again and thoughtfully looks up right where the still-powered-down Powerstand Street is.

David (as Horus)

All sorts of powers… yes, but powers aren’t everything. Isn’t that right, Xoc? We can’t skip stones just by throwing them however we’d like.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I guess, but… this is different. I can do a lot more now.

David (as Horus)

I know you can, Xoc. I know you can do so many things.

[Nostalgic memory music begin.]

And that’s why you spend so much time with Jaykell, because you can have all the power in the world, but if that power is all you spend your time learning about then you won’t be able to use it to help those you care about.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Exhales.] I guess… I don’t understand, and I don’t like it, but if that’s what you want I’ll learn everything there is to know. I’ll show you that I can be a really great adventurer too. You’ll see.

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles softly, smiling.] I’m sure you will.

Kyle

And with that, Horus, who had been leaning down to talk to you, stands up and walks out of the door.

[00:40:00]

[Music carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

Hello, and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends, Episode 72: Xoc’s Memory, Part 1. I am Kyle, your GM, and our outro song is Hitoshio by Miracle of Sound.

We are here! We are in the final memory arc, and just like all the other memory arcs this one has a twist… which you’ve probably figured out by this point. So instead of doing our regular announcements I’m actually going to spend the rest of this time giving credit to those voice actors who helped make these two episodes possible. They’re all extremely talented and were all wonderful to work with, so if anyone catches your ear you can find a link, for at least most of them, to their stuff in the description below.

Before I start doing credits, a quick shout-out to Hallie who served as my co-writer for all of the what we called Loell’s Memory segments of these episodes. She and I have been co-writing things for a long time and this is one of those products. At least half of the scenes you’re gonna be hearing today, and then during the next episode, will have been largely written by her.

Then a shout-out to the rest of the Quest Friends team for providing feedback on the script and then going through the process of checking all of the auditions, especially Ari, because it was Hallie, Ari and I that spent about 12 hours I wanna say, one day, sorting through every single audition and it would just feel wrong to not give her the credit she deserves for that. So thank you.

The kinds of actors we found in this process include, in approximate order of appearance:

Returning as Horus we have David S. Dear.

Playing Mama, Loell’s mom, is Fiona MacKinnon.

Playing Marv Strongarm is Caleb Smedra.

Playing Commander TJ is TK Cooper.

Playing Mako and an Angulan Knight we have Chase Beck.

Playing Mauve is Trisha Mellon.

Playing Inuki is Colette Feehan.

And then finally we have all of our Angulan Knights. They may sound like a crowd when you hear them in the episode, that’s kind of the point, but each of them were chosen as they presented a unique take on these frat boy military members. So, in addition to Chase, as Angulan Knights we also have Christopher Colón, Gianni Matragrano, Joey Yong, Josh Putnam, Juwan Royal, Tal Minear, and finally, finally, our two named Angulan Knights, besides I guess TJ and Marv, we have Sena Bryer playing AJ and Tom Laflin playing Brock.

Thank you so much to all of these incredibly talented voice actors for joining the show and helping us bring these memories to life.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for you today. One thing to note is even though I’ve been podcasting for three years now I forgot that you can’t have a phone on next to your recording equipment, so my audio in the Xoc’s Memory segments is gonna sound a little weird for a short while after this announcement break, but I eventually figure it out.

You’ll be able to hear my corrected audio as well as more amazing voice acting in Xoc’s Memory, Part 2 which will be releasing on Monday, March 22, but if you’d like additional content before then you can find stories, artwork, and behind the scenes insights at Patreon.com/QuestFriends. I’ll see you there.

[Homey nostalgic music carries out of the announcements.]

[Sound of chimes.]

** Begin Loell 2, 44:54

[00:45:00]

Commander TJ

Angulan Knights!

Angulan Knights

Commander TJ, sir!

Commander TJ

It’s been a long hazing season, boys! You’ve survived embarrassment at the Maid for a Minute Challenge, you’ve faced the fearsome pandemonium of paddles, and you’ve even found your way back from the Blood Barm Doldrums! In short, you’ve shown you have what it takes to become full-fledged Angulan Knights! Only one thing remains… 

SFX: Commander TJ walking

Commander TJ

Aidan!

Angulan Knight 1

Yes sir!

Commander TJ

What’s your name?

Angulan Knight 1

Sir?

Commander TJ

Your name! What name will be spray-painted in the bathrooms of history?

Angulan Knight 1

Uh… I always just write down Awesome Jock!

Commander TJ

Right-on! The world will know the Legend of Commander TJ, and his new lance-corporal AJ!

SFX: Commander TJ coming closer still.

Commander TJ

Brandon!

Angulan Knight 2

Commander TJ, sir!

Commander TJ

How about you? What name will you use to rise above the normies?

Angulan Knight 2

I don’t know sir! I just wanna fight something! I just wanna rock.

Commander TJ

And rock you will… Brock.

SFX: Commander TJ walking up to Loell.

Commander TJ

(Quieter, but still threatening)

What about you, Lambchop?

Loell

Uh, Loell’s fine.

Commander TJ

Loell? What the hell kind of legendary knight is named “Loell?” (Scoffs) LO-ELL. You might as well stick with lamb-chop in that case; it won’t make history, but it’ll make a good snack! But we aren’t snacks, are we knights!?

Angulan Knights

No sir!

Commander TJ

It’s as our creed says. No force too great -

Angulan Knights

No cause too mighty!

Commander TJ

So what’s. Your. Name!?

Loell

Uh, a...aa...Aegon?

Commander TJ

AEGON WHO?

Loell

AEGON STORMBREAKER, SIR!

Commander TJ

Aegon Stormbreaker, huh? WHAT DO WE THINK OF THAT, KNIGHTS?

Angulan Knights

AEGON STORMBREAKER! AEGON STORMBREAKER!

Commander TJ

Heh… yeah, I like it too... Aegon. Dismissed!

SFX: Angulan Knights disperse

SFX: Marv comes running up on the grass.

Marv

[Jeering]

So… buddy…

Loell

No.

Marv

Oh, right, I’m so sorry, Aegon Stormbreaker, sir.

Loell

I panicked.

Marv

No, it’s fine. It’s good. It’s good.

Loell

[Sarcastic] No, you said you weren’t going to do that. When you became my mentor you said you weren’t going to coddle me when I made bad decisions, just help me make good ones. So where were you? Eh?

Marv

Well. I can’t promise my advice would’ve been much help to you there.

Loell

Your name couldn’t have been THAT bad.

Marv

Harvy.

[Beat]

Loell

Harvy?

Marv

Marvy Harvey.

Loell

...but why?

Marv

I don’t know!

[Loell and Marv laugh]

SFX: Someone walking up.

Commander TJ

Stormbreaker!

Loell

Commander TJ, sir!

Marv

Heya, TJ.

Commander TJ

Got big news for ya, Stormbreaker. War just broke out in Malevich… or Thaemor? Eh, one of those flyover countries. Some hotshot dame is leading a revolt and sent out a call for help. Normally we wouldn’t respond to this kind of thing, but I decided we could spare a few men to help her out with her little rebellion.

Marv

(Sarcastic)

Lucky gal.

Commander TJ

Anyway, I know you love your small town… thing, so. I figured I’d bring the rest of the fresh meat along with us, too.

Marv

So it’s training.

Loell

(Getting more excited)

But this is a real revolt, right? There are actual people we can help protect?

Commander TJ

I guess.

Loell

[Happy sounds]

Commander TJ

So get yourself packed up, we leave fashionably late after the dawn! And stop doing that “smile” thing.

SFX: TJ walking away.

Loell

[Getting progressively more hyped]

Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv!

Marv

Okay, that was four Marvs too many. There’s only one of me here.

Loell

Marv! I’m going to go on an actual mission!

Marv

[Unconvinced]

Hm, yes. Well, things will definitely happen. I better start packing my bags.

Loell

You’re coming too?

Marv

Well, as you reminded me. I’m not here to coddle you when you make bad decisions. So let’s make some good ones.

Loell

[Laughs] I prefer to think of it as you being there for the beginning of our legend.

Marv

Legend?

Loell

Yes, legend! Me and you - just you see! The world will know the Legend of Aegon Stormbreaker and…

Marv

Don’t you dare.

Loell

[Voice breaking]

Marvy Harvy.

[00:50:00]

[Loell and Marv laugh again]

[Sound of chimes.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Xoc, how can one tell the age of a harebit?

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, you’re supposed to look at how long the hair is and then which way the ears turn, I think.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

And if the ears turn this way?

Kyle

He cranes his caterpillar-like body to the left.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Struggling.] Um, um… they are… two years old?

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Excellent. Excellent, Xoc. Now the next question…

Kyle

Jaykell turns back to this projector board. It’s a mixture of a blackboard and those old fashioned projectors. I know what you’re thinking; Kyle, those are called smart boards. No-no-no, this isn’t advanced technology. It somehow is the worst of both worlds. It’s got the loud scratchy sounds of chalk from a chalkboard, but also it’s got all the shadows from those old fashioned projectors just when you lean over it.

Tom

You gotta manually move it slide by slide. Next slide please.

Kyle

[Chuckles.] Jaykell is moving many of his arms writing out equations and facts and numbers in the dreariest corner of this room.

[Quirky waltz music begins.]

So you are in, Xoc, your little training space. We would recognize this from the first Xoc scene from this episode as being that very—I can’t think of a term other than like FBI sci-fi where it’s, you know, that very not industrial but bureaucratic kind of sci-fi. Like in the video game Control.

Tom

Space opera, Empire, everything is sleek and sheer metal. There’s no comfy spaces or furniture.

Kyle

Yeah, exactly. So we are in that box from your first scene, because that was the kind of aesthetic I was thinking of where it was the box with that single dangling light and the ring where you met the nano spirits.

It’s been made… I’m not gonna say more homey. Jaykell doesn’t live here, but he has made himself comfortable in your tutoring area, so in one corner you’ve got your projector board, you’ve got multiple rows of desks even though there’s one of you there.

Tom

I can’t believe we recreated the school. We could have done anything else.

[Music ends.]

It was a completely blank slate and yet we recreated early modern school.

Kyle

[Indignant, grinning.] Fine. Fine. You know, [Rambles provokingly and unintelligibly.]

Tom

No, I’m not criticizing you, I’m criticizing the Weal of Baz. There’s a difference. These robots could have done anything with their lives and yet they made a school.

Kyle

[Chuckles.] In another corner is all of Jaykell’s little doodads and whatsits and trinkets. Jaykell is very studious and firm, and he wants you to know important facts, because that’s what machines do, machines learn.

So in this corner is all of what he considers the contraband, the things that are too distracting for young minds, but they’re not the kind of things Xoc would care about at all. They’re like a little model airship in a bottle, a very tall deck of cards that he’s been slowly assembling over the past couple of weeks… Essentially it’s just little gifts that Horus gives Jaykell because he enjoys the little trinkets and the little organizational things.

You can see that there are about five different unfinished things. You’ve got the airship, you’ve got the deck of cards, you’ve got your blanket but what Xoc considers his robe which he’s sewing together.

In the center of the room with what is essentially a toddler gate around it to try to get you not to sneak inside is the ring of power, the little area where you met the nano spirits that also amplify Xoc’s powers and lets him use them without as much strain in new, and inventive, and what Jaykell would call destructive ways.

Xoc, Jaykell’s voice just starts drifting off as he starts monologuing, as your focus slowly turns back to that ring in the center of the room.

Tom

I mean, it’s very simple for Xoc to get over a toddler gate, because he is not a toddler.

Kyle

[Grinning.] They stacked two on top of each other. Whatcha gonna do now, huh?

Tom

Far Step.

Kyle

God damn it.

Tom

Yeah. Xoc Far Steps over the two stacked toddler gates and then hops down into the center of the toddler gates, now even more concealed from Jaykell because of two toddler gates in the way.

Kyle

As you get in, Xoc, you can feel the misty smoke of the Datasphere surround you again as familiar voices go,

[Nano spirits arrival sting.]

Kyle (as nano spirits)

Hey Xoc~ Playing hooky again?

Tom (as Xoc)

I can learn a lot more here.

[00:55:00]

I can ask anything.

Kyle (as nano spirits)

Hmm. Anything?

Tom (as Xoc)

Mm-hmm.

Kyle (as nano spirits)

And what question do you have for the nano spirits today?

Tom (as Xoc)

How do I see where things are at all times?!

Kyle

Uh… is there a spell that does that?

Tom

Yeah, there’s a spell that does that. We had it literally in the Chapter 5 finale. Sensor.

[Laughing.] This literally came up, like in the previous—well, not the previous, but the penultimate episode to this one.

Kyle

[Laughs.] The one I finished editing like a week before this.

Tom

Right now! You were editing it like very recently.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Okay.

Kyle (as nano spirits)

Well… we do know one thing. Are you sure you wanna try it?

Tom (as Xoc)

I will see everything!

[Xoc’s magic song begins.]

Kyle

As you say that, Xoc, there’s a little burst in the room, like almost a sound wave, as you just plunge your little baby mind into the Datasphere. You don’t physically go into it, but essentially you’re accessing more than you’re trained to access. We can see the model airship shakes a little bit, the deck of cards flutter in the wind, and we see the little metallic hairs on the back of Jaykell’s back stiffen up. Xoc, as you’re trying to reach through, what are you trying to see?

[Music ends.]

Tom

Uh, I mean at first the Weal, see what everyone’s doing, like the sea, to see what everyone’s doing there, but then also Horus. Where’s Horus at? What adventures is Horus up to? Then, where are other people at? Where do people live that aren’t the Weal? What are they up to? Then! What about even more people past that? And then, what about the mountains, like the ones that you can’t see from the Weal? Where are those? What’s up with them? And then! What’s past that? Because Xoc is not 100% sure.

Kyle

[Laughing.] Give me a roll.

Tom

Alright.

[Rolls.] I rolled a 4.

[Xoc’s magic song surges.]

Kyle

So Xoc, you get multiple sensations. You feel on the back of your spine a jolt as Powerstand Street is lit up again and a spark of electricity goes down the spine of the Weal. You can smell the crisp air of the mountainsides just a few miles away. You can see this old adventuring robot slowly making his way towards a town with creatures of less metallic skin and more organic.

What’s more important than that is what you’re not feeling in your room, because as you start to access the Datasphere more and more the little light hanging above the center of the circle starts to swing left and right, and left and right, and it starts blinking.

[Says “blink” many times, picking up speed as he goes.]

This light is normally bright enough to illuminate this small room, but it gets brighter, and brighter, and brighter, and it keeps flashing, and as it flashes it sends out pulsating heat and wind, and we can see the little model airship – the heat actually causes the air inside of it to expand…

Tom

No~

Kyle

…and it eventually pops.

Tom

No…

Kyle

The glass doesn’t break, but that pops.

Tom

No! That’s worse.

Kyle

The ends of the card tower that Jaykell was working on start to crinkle up and disappear as if you had set them at the edge of a fire, and your wonderful beautiful robes don’t get affected so much that you would notice but we start to see the stitching just undo itself. Xoc, while you’re doing this, you can’t experience any of this, but you can hear a muffled voice.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

[Heavily muffled.] Xoc! Xoc~!

Tom (as Xoc)

I… I can see everything~

[Music ends.]

Kyle

With that, little baby Xoc, you just flump over, not unconscious but asleep, because you missed your nap time.

[Knocking SFX.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Xoc!

Kyle

Xoc, you wake up to a tap-tap on the desk that your head has been laying against.

Tom

We adult Xoc now?

Kyle

Yeah.

Tom (as Xoc)

W-What? I-I’m awake, I’m awake. It’s fine.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Fine?!

[Gasps.] It is most certainly not “fine,” and even if it was, fine would not do you well in the wastes, what with your need of protection and nutrition and all those other weird things humans need.

Tom (as Xoc)

I don’t… eh, whatever. What were we even talking about again? Was it just mitochondria?

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

[Scoffs.] Mitochondria? How can you speak so frivolously of the powerhouse of the cell?

Tom (as Xoc)

Knowing how a mitochondria works isn’t going to keep me alive.

[01:00:00]

I mean, it matters. It’s good to know, but… It’s fine. I’ve heard about it all before. I want to do something more practical, Jaykell.

Kyle

He scuttles up closer to you.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Something more practical, hmm?

Tom (as Xoc)

Yeah! Let me just, I don't know, let me help fix some of the machines around here. We could work on the shield, or we could go through the spare parts dump. We could just… make something.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Make something? Make something?! If the Weal wants something made we’ll vote on it and have Reference Section tally the results. Until then, you study. Besides, a creature like you can’t make anything if you’re not aware of how to sleep and to eat and to be aware of all of the dangers out there.

Now, how does one catch a harebit?

Tom (as Xoc)

[Sighs.] You make a trap with a loop like this so it jumps into it and yanks itself in the air.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

And may that knowledge serve you well.

Tom (as Xoc)

So does that mean we get to go do something fun?

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

[Long sigh.] I suppose.

Tom

Xoc will cheer at that.

Tom (as Xoc)

Woohoo!

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Tom

And then just Far Step away.

Kyle

[Laughing.] Where are you Far Stepping to?

Tom

Somewhere that isn’t here.

Kyle

As you Far Step away, Jaykell, without even turning around, says,

Kyle (as Jaykell)

And don’t you think of stepping away before you clean your—

[Transition whoosh SFX.]

Kyle

But then you’re out of there. You have already Far Stepped away. You probably stepped in the ring, because that’ll let you Far Step pretty much anywhere without any extra cost.

Tom

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

Yeah, so where do you end up?

Tom

The spare parts dump. It’s like the equivalent of a “things drawer” in a person’s home, like the drawer where all of the things that no one knows what they’re for go, but it’s just like a pile of parts. It started as an organized pile some millennia ago, but now it’s just a large heap of random bits and bobs.

Kyle

[Chuckles.] What are you doing with it?

Tom

Xoc’s just grabbing things that take his fancy and he’s trying to put them together into something functional.

Kyle

Yeah. As you try to put things together and functional, you hear a door open and close behind you. You’re certain because, you know, you’re still in the house, that it is Jaykell, but you don’t hear any of his voice. Instead, you hear,

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles.] Gearing up for your first mission already?

Tom (as Xoc)

Horus! You’re back! When did it happen? When did you get back? I didn’t see you.

David (as Horus)

Oh, about 27… 28… 29… 30 seconds ago, or so.

Tom

Xoc’s gonna run over beaming. He very notably does not hug Horus at this time. It’s not that he’s never had any hugs before, but he does not hug often in the Weal, because the machines just aren’t generally huggers. They’re just sort of there.

Kyle

Yeah. Horus is a real awkward hugger. I imagine he’s the kind of, like, “pat-pat.” He’s loving, but he doesn’t want to infringe. Jaykell just refuses, not that you ever ask, but he still refuses. [Laughs.]

David (as Horus)

[Laughs.] Slow down~ You don’t want to get yourself poked on Jaykell’s new toy.

Kyle

You can see he’s grabbed a sharp sewing needle and I’m gonna say one of those little apples that has all the little sewing pins in it.

Tom

Ah, yeah, I know what you mean.

Kyle

Except it has the texture of an actual apple, but is not edible.

Tom

[Breathy laugh.]

Kyle

Do not eat it!

Tom

How did this get past our testing team? How did we put this product into development? Why did no one run this past me?

Kyle

I don't know.

[laughter.]

David (as Horus)

Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your gift either. It’s… just a bit different.

Kyle

Horus starts walking over to a resting spot. He is walking with his walking stick, a long… it looks like a large screw almost but with a ball at the top of it.

[Nostalgic piano music begins.]

It isn’t something Xoc would notice a whole, whole lot, but as time has gone on he started leaning on his walking stick more and more, and he starts relying on it more and more as almost a third leg. He walks over to a resting spot and sits down and says,

David (as Horus)

I think I found my time for retirement.

Tom (as Xoc)

W-What?! But, what do you mean? Who’s gonna bring stuff back to the Weal?

David (as Horus)

Well…

Kyle

He stares forward a little bit before turning over to you, and you can see the little LED lights in his eyes glisten.

David (as Horus)

I was hoping it’d be you.

[01:05:00]**

[Sound of chimes.]

Loell

Citizens! We’re here! It’s okay! If you could just follow my companion there, he’ll evacuate you safely.

Civilian (It’s Mako)

Evacuate?

Loell

Yes. To save you. You need saving and we’re here to give it.  

Mako

But we’re the ones fighting this dang-

SFX: An explosion, followed by a triumphant robot beep.

Loell

See?! It’s not safe here! But we’ll return everyone to their homes after everything is taken care of--

SFX: More explosions. A building crumbles. More robot beeps. 

Mako

[Laughs triumphantly]

Loell

Why are there SO MANY bombs!?

Mako

Oh that’s just Tready! Little rascal’s planting traps for our foes all over the place. [Yelling into the distance] Great work, Tready Bear!

SFX: Tready beeps in delight.

Loell

...Right. So it’s all… depending on the collateral damage, which is why you all need to follow my associate there!

Marv

Everybody this way! The faster we evacuate the faster everybody can return! We’ll have you all back home lickety-split!

Loell

Yes! Lickety-split! The speed at which I will defeat--

SFX: Loell is hit by a sword, he grunts, ouch. 

Mauve

What the FUCK are you doing here? 

Loell

Ma’am! Put down your rapier! I’m an Angulan Knight--

Mauve

No shit, I can tell by your ugly-ass armor! I asked what you were doing here!

Loell

Uh… wait, that’s no way to talk to your military aid! 

Mauve

Oh, my military aid! So kind of you to provide assistance that we didn’t ask for!

SFX: More explosions.

Loell 

You sent out a call for help!

Mauve

Not! 

SFX: Sword hit on shield.

Mauve

From! 

SFX: Sword hit on shield.

Mauve

You!

SFX: Sword hit on shield.

Mauve

All you cockroaches do is storm in and make things worse! You just want to beat up the bad guy and then leave!

Loell

Isn’t that...helpful? 

Mauve

Not when it kills and displaces civilians!

Loell

[Not sure how to respond]

But surely that’s better than dying!

Mauve

[Mocking imitation] But surely that’s better than dying! [Serious] And what about the people who die after you leave? After their homes are gone and their fields are ruined and their livelihoods tanked? Did we ask for you? We have this under control!

SFX: Another explosion.

Marv

[Distant]

OH GOD

Mako

[Distant, triumphantly showcasing his new explosions.]

HA HA!

Loell

I beg to differ, ma’am, but I don’t think you do!

Mauve

Oh! I was just waiting for this! I was just waiting for you to know my situation better than me! Can’t have a conversation with an Angulan Blight without that! 

Loell

No! That’s not what I meant! But judging on...my understanding of all of the surroundings…

Mauve

And what do you understand? Tell me everything you know about this situation.

Loell

...there’s a rebellion…

Mauve

Against who? 

Loell

Against...a tyrant…

Mauve

Which one? 

Loell

...the one who’s hurting people…?

Mauve

Who’s hurting people in what country? 

Loell

This one. 

Mauve

Right. So… are we in Malevich or Thaemor? 

Loell

Uh.

Mauve

Un-fucking-believable! You weren’t even briefed before you waltzed right in here uncalled and unwanted! And yet once we “win,” your insipid parasitic organization will get all the credit! 

Loell

...parasitic?

Mauve

(quieter, controlled rage)

Do you know how many lives you fucks have ruined? 

Loell

But…

Mauve

No force too great, no cause too mighty. You ever thought about the people who aren’t good enough to be included in your charity? 

Loell

(beat)

No.

SFX: War sounds increase again.

Mauve

(surprised at the frank admittance)

Maybe you should start. 

[Sound of chimes.]

Kyle

Skip-skip, skip-skip-skip skip-skip.

Skip-skip, skip-skip-skip skip-skip.

Skip-skip, skip-skip-skip skip-skip.

Skip-skip… skip-skip-skip skip-skip.

BLOOOOSH!

Xoc, you’re back at the beach, and we can see that Horus is just posed, like hunched over, like he just took a big boulder and threw it into the lake, because in his own words:

David (as Horus)

Skipping stones is a lot less magical when that’s the only experience. We have to experience the whole breadth of rocks on water.

[01:10:00]

Kyle

It is your last night before going out on your own. You and Horus decided to spend your last night the way you spent many nights, here at the beach. Tell us a little bit about the beach.

[Gentle waves SFX.]

Tom

If you’ve ever been to a beach in a cold rainy place you have a good idea of what this beach is like. I remember once when I was young we went to the Pacific Ocean for the sake of saying that we had been to the Pacific Ocean, and it was like overcast and a little bit rainy and it was cold, and there was sand there but there were also a lot of rocks and like cliffs nearby. That is perpetually how I imagine this beach outside the Weal.

[Curious ethereal music.]

It’s surrounded by cliffs and coves, there’s this little stretch of sand, and it’s all very wet packed sand at all times. There’s constant spray off the sea as the wind whips in. Even on the days when it’s sunny it’s never truly warm here, and the beach is somehow overcast more often than the Weal itself is despite being slightly more open to the air.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Tom

There is this one little semi-rusty metal pier. It’s only semi-rusty because part of the metals it’s made of don’t rust. Nobody really knows why. And just this tiny little sailboat moored to it for an indeterminate period of time.

Kyle

Yeah. At this point the sailboat, I would say, is almost… It’s not only hooked to the pier by a rope, I would say it’s also rusted together with the pier.

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

You’re here with Horus, skipping stones, your little secret.

[Music/SFX fades.]

David (as Horus)

So… Reference Section finally tallied the votes, and… the town agrees. Starting tomorrow you are the new me.

Tom (as Xoc)

You don’t have to say it like that.

David (as Horus)

Heh, I suppose that’s not quite accurate, no.

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m just glad some of your lessons stuck.

Tom

And he skips another stone.

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m… I’m kind of scared, actually. I know I always ask you what it’s like out there, but I don’t really… I don't really know. What am I going to find?

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles.] Has Jaykell been filling your head with fears of humans and harebits again?

Tom (as Xoc)

I just… I worry that I’ll seem strange.

David (as Horus)

Is that so bad?

Kyle

He skips a stone, but this time you can see the illumination of the craves as they skip across.

David (as Horus)

Out there, in the wastes, in The Beyond, being strange is the best thing you can be.

Tom (as Xoc)

I hope so. Thank you. Thank you, Horus, for everything you’ve done. You’ve taught me so much. You took care of me since I was small. I… I just… I just want to say thank you, for being there for me.

David (as Horus)

Yeah…

Kyle

He looks off in the distance, his eyes covered by the hood.

David (as Horus)

There’s actually another reason you were chosen to go out into the wastes.

[Nostalgic piano music begins.]

Tom (as Xoc)

What is that?

David (as Horus)

The Weal has all the information you could want, and I’m sure you would agree, thanks to all of your time with Jaykell, some information you don’t, but the one thing it’s lacking is practical experience.

I’m glad you’ve thought I’ve done well, Xoc, but there are some things even a world-traveled machine like such myself can’t provide. One of them is experience with those flesh and blood machines we call humans.

Tom (as Xoc)

I mean, I guess I’m a little curious. I’ve read so much about humans, but I don't know… I don't know what it’ll be like. I know you’ve said they’re so different, from each other even. It’ll be weird, but I guess that kind of makes sense, you know. Being from a place where we machines always stay the same, it could be nice to be in a place where things are different for a while. You know, helps you appreciate what you have already, because you’ll all be waiting here when I get back, right?

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles.] Oh, trust me, we machines of the Weal aren’t going anywhere. We’ll be here when you come back, waiting for you and all those changes you’ll bring.

[Music ends.]

Alright, gift time.

Kyle

Horus turns over to a little basket. It probably looks like a picnic basket except it’s made out of metal and looks like a chest instead and is very secure and locked and looks nothing like a picnic basket.

[01:15:00]

He starts ruffling around in it.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, I’m… I guess I probably should have gotten gifts for everyone before I left, but I’m not sure what I could have given them that wasn’t something they already had.

David (as Horus)

Nonsense. Gifts are things you bring back home with you, and when you go out they’re the things that remind you of how to get home.

Kyle

The first thing he brings out is this immaculately sewn blue blanket, but as he gently and carefully, and kind of shakily, hands it to you, you can unfurl it to realize it is a full wizard’s robe complete with hood.

Tom (as Xoc)

It’s… It’s real! Oh my… Thank you! Thank you. Did—

David (as Horus)

Oh-ho-ho, I’m not the one to thank. You should thank yourself for finally convincing Jaykell that robes are the most functional kind of protection for a human to have out in the wastes.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Chuckles happily.]

Tom

That’s an in-character laugh from Xoc.

David (as Horus)

But I will take the thank you on his behalf, even if he’d be reluctant to take it himself. No, my gift for you comes from a… it’s from a place, a land. It’s from a land far to… far to the north … east. The northeast, yes, yes.

Tom (as Xoc)

Are you making that up?

David (as Horus)

Eh… give me a few more cycles and then I’ll have made it up.

[Chuckles.] Ah, anyways.

Kyle

He takes his screw staff and he sets it to the side as he reaches in to grab this other item.

David (as Horus)

Now, you ask a dozen different adventurers and they’ll give you a dozen different answers on what makes an adventurer an adventurer. Trust me, I’ve asked. But, in my opinion, nothing quite makes an adventurer…

Kyle

He grabs a gift and turns over to you.

David (as Horus)

…like their walking stick.

[Wondrous magical music begins.]

Kyle

In Horus’s hands is something you’ve never seen before. In the rusty and practical and mechanical world of the Weal there’s nothing so smooth, so graceful yet so haphazard in a way only organic things are. It glistens in the moonlight, and you can see the rust and tear on Horus’s segmented hands, through the staff itself, and he hands this thing to you saying,

David (as Horus)

It’s a material called strong-glass. I didn’t know much about it, but I inferred it was… eh. It doesn’t matter what material it’s made out of or where I got it or anything else. All that matters is that it felt right.

Kyle

He holds your strong-glass staff out to you.

Tom

Xoc takes the staff and hugs it to himself.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Softly, emotionally.] Thank you. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

David (as Horus)

Well, I hoped I could find something appropriate for my… eh, little friend. Wherever you take that robe and that walking stick, just know that all the Weal, yes even Jaykell, is there with you, and when you do come back they’ll be your keys home.

[Sound of chimes.]

**1:18:45 (cut this line when you’re done editing, Emily)

Marv

Aegon! You’re back! I was gettin’ kind of--

Commander TJ

Stormbreaker! Took you long enough. What you got to report? 

Loell

(defeated this whole scene) 

The rebellion won, sir. The JET.CO branch manager has relinquished power. 

Commander TJ

Who?

Loell

The tyrant Malevich was rebelling against. The rebel leader and I took care of his branch.

Commander TJ

Good work, Aegon! A pretty successful first mission for a rookie! Don’t let it go to your head though. Nothing worse than getting cocky when you don’t deserve it. 

Loell

Yeah. Nothing worse than that. 

Commander TJ

You over there! Brock! Report in wouldja? Did you get the stragglers? 

Brock

(In the distance)

Sure did sir! They went down like a rock! Like me, Brock!

SFX: TJ walks away

Marv

So you caught the bad guy, huh? 

Loell

Guess so. How’d your part go? 

Marv

Not many people to evacuate. I think they’d already gotten most of them. You did well, though. Did you get a gift basket? 

Loell

(scoffs)

Trust me. We won’t be getting a gift basket this time. 

Marv

Not a fan of ours, was she? 

[01:20:00]

Loell

Yeah, the rebel leader, Mauve... said some things. Really hates us. I didn’t know it was possible to hate an organization dedicated to helping others. 

Marv

Help is...relative, sometimes. Like, uh. The citizen I tried to help evacuate. Mako - the one with the whistling bomb bucket. He tried to show me all these shortcuts, like he was the one evacuating me! It took forever to convince him to follow me. Took him a lot less time to convince me to follow him.

Loell

You took orders from a civilian? 

Marv

He seemed to know the situation better than me. 

Loell

(Scandalized)

But that’s against protocol. 

Marv

That’s what I’m saying, bud! Help is relative. Not everybody needs the kind of help the Angulan Knights give. 

Loell

But don’t the Knights protect...everybody? 

Marv

Well. Protecting everybody is a pretty tall order. It’s hard to do that in just one way. 

Loell

I just want to stop people from dying. 

Marv

And that’s a pretty tall order too. Look, Aegon--Loell--you may not be able to stop the process of time, or change, but I believe you can find your own way to save people. It may just not be a way the Knights agree with.

Loell

But the Angulan Knights were how I was going to...

Marv

I know! Me too, at one point. I really believed in them. But, look, as your mentor, it’s my job to help you make good decisions.

Loell

What are you saying? 

Inuki

It is there now! 

Loell

What’s there now? 

Marv

What?

Inuki

The very good plant! 

Loell

Do you hear that? 

Marv

I don’t hear anything besides Inuki. 

SFX: Inuki noises. 

Loell

Commander TJ’s Xi-Drake? Inuki?

Inuki

That is my name! Could you please give me the very good plant? The one by your feet! 

Loell

This? 

Marv

What are you picking that thing up for?

Loell

I think Inuki wants it. 

Marv

Why do you think she wants a flower?

Inuki

Flower! That is what they are called! Your house had lots of flowers! 

SFX: Inuki noises.

Marv

TJ’s already said she hates flowers. 

Inuki

Flowers taste good, but people get mad when I eat them. 

Loell

Well, she just told me she likes them. 

Marv

...You’re going to have to elaborate. 

Loell

I don’t know how. She’s...in my head. She’s got a voice and it’s in my head and that voice is telling me Inuki wants this flower. 

Inuki

Psychic link! Psychic link! I make them when I really like things, although I’ve never made them with flowers… [gasp] I must like you more than flowers!

Loell

I like you too, friend. Here, let me get some more flowers for you. 

SFX: TJ walks in.

Commander TJ

(re-entering, clearly shouting to someone in the background)

Let me just grab Inuki and we’ll be ready to shove off!

(to Loell)

Oy, Stormbreaker, what are you doing with my Xi-Drake? 

Loell

She told me she wants flowers.

Commander TJ

Inuki hates flowers. I’ve told you that. 

Loell

Well… she just told me she loves them. Look. She’s eating them.

Commander TJ

What do you mean she told you? 

Loell

She told me. You know, the psychic link.

Commander TJ

Psychic links? Stormbreaker, that’s absurd. That thing’s never gonna be able to communicate with you. She can barely communicate with me!

Inuki

[Scared]

I don’t like TJ...

Commander TJ

What a load of bologna. Now give me back my Xi-Drake or you’re in for a world of hurt, rookie. 

Inuki

No! No!

Loell

I don’t think she wants to go back.

Marv

Oh, Commander! Can I have a word with Stormbreaker before we head out? 

Commander TJ

Oh, you don’t think!? Well, I’ve owned her for years, way before you came aboard, Lambchop, so I know what I’m talking about.

Inuki

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch! 

Loell

Stop pulling her! 

Commander TJ

You did alright on the mission today but you gotta learn your place in the pecking order, chickadee. We can only help the weak if there’s respect and discipline and fraternity within our ranks, you got that?

Loell

But you’re hurting her!

Commander TJ

She’s fine--

Loell

[Finally snaps]

No she’s not!

SFX: There is silence, letting Loell’s open defiance hang in the air.

Commander TJ

You’ll understand Xi-Drakes when you get one of your own, Loell, but now I’m thinking you’ll never be a good-enough Angulan Knight to find out. 

Loell

I’ll never be an Angulan Knight at all.

Commander TJ

You wanna run that by me again, Lambchop? 

Loell

My name is Aegon Stormbreaker. 

[01:25:00]

Commander TJ

It is if you’re an Angulan Knight. 

Loell

Fuck the Angulan Knights! How can you claim to protect anybody when your own Xi-Drake needs protection from you? 

Commander TJ

Because she’s my Xi-Drake and I can do what I want! What, you want to arm wrestle for some beast’s honor? Cause I’m ready to go, rookie!

Loell

[Laughing]

Arm wrestle? Arm wrestle! No...

SFX: Warhammer gets unsheathed.

Loell

I’d rather just do this.

Commander TJ

What are you gonna do, hit me your little baby’s first warhammer? You’re in over your head, Lambchop! So get out of the kitchen, cause you can’t take the heat!

SFX: A KER-BONK sound effect cuz Loell just knocked TJ out somehow

Marv

Wow TJ just. Went out with a single hit, huh.

Loell

Yeah…

Marv

How’re you doing, bud?

Loell

That doesn’t matter. How’s Inuki?

SFX: Inuki groan

SFX: Flower munching

Inuki

Inuki has MANY flowers!

Marv

I think she’ll be alright. All thanks to you.

Loell

I’m sorry. I know you believe in the Angulan Knights.

Marv

I believed in the Knights. But now I believe in you. Have since we first met.

[Outro song, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]

Loell

Thanks. So, I guess we’re leaving then.

Marv

Guess we are! Gotta get started on the Legend of Aegon Stormbreaker, after all!

Loell

Heh. Don’t forget Marvy Harvy.

SFX: Inuki noises.

Inuki

And Inuki, too!

[Outro music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Tom

No.

Kyle

I don't know how to skip stones.

Tom

Me neither.

Kyle

[Smiling.] How do I skip stones?

Tom

I think it takes a very delicate touch.

Kyle

[Typing.] How to…

Tom

Probably.

Kyle

Well good thing this is a flashback or you’d be fucking dead.

“Well, I’ll take you with me next time, son. Here, take this brooch to remember me by.”

Tom

Fuck you! Fuck you, Kyle.

Kyle

You can see he’s grabbed a sharp sewing needle and I’m gonna say one of those little apples that has all the little sewing pins in it.

Tom

Ah, yeah, I know what you mean.

Kyle

Except it has the texture of an actual apple, but is not edible.

Tom

[Breathy laugh.]

Kyle

Do not eat it!

Tom

This is just a burger. This is just a burger.

Kyle

[Laughing.] Yes. It is just a hamburger, but don’t eat it!

Tom

How did this get past our testing team? How did we put this product into development? Why did no one run this past me?

Kyle

It’s just Tom in a stock board room, just like, picture of you, it’s stocks but it’s just burgers and its matrices of burgers on one side—

Tom

Burgs?

Kyle

Burgs!

Tom

It’s the stonks meme but it’s burgs.

Kyle

I want this. I want this so badly.

Tom

Be the memes you want to see in your life.

Kyle (as Horus)

Well, I hoped I could find something appropriate for my… my little friend.

Kyle

Does that sound too much like a penis?

Tom

Well it didn’t until you said it now, but you just inceptioned my brain with that one phrase.

Kyle

[Laughs.]