Ep. 78: The Obsidian Cloud, Part 5

Kyle

Hi! Before we get started I wanted to let you know that the next three episodes of Quest Friends will feature heavy references to our side series, The Cookie Crew.

Now, I want to make it clear that you don’t need to have listened to The Cookie Crew in order to understand the next few episodes, but I do think that a knowledge of the side series will make them a lot more enjoyable. At the very least I’d recommend that you check out The Cookie Three which should be right before this on the feed.

This four-part side series comprises of a peace conference that kind of wraps up The Jagged Dream arc. So, at the end of Crime and Courtship, Rei said she was gonna have a peace conference because The Steadfast—Charmonde, Qi—they still kinda wanted to go to war, and The Cookie Three explores that peace conference and the myriad of comedic ways in which it goes wrong.

As I said though, if you haven’t listened to any of The Cookie Crew, we will include explanations for what is going on relevant to The Cookie Crew as it comes up, and you can always check our description for each episode’s NPC list which for the next three episodes is gonna be… a lot, so if there’s a name you don’t recognize check that list and it will tell you who that character or what that proper noun is as well as the first episode it appeared or was referenced in.

Alright, with all that out of the way—

Previously on Quest Friends…

[Intro song begins, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound.]

Tom (as Xoc)

We need to leave right now. Right now. We need to wake everyone up.

Because the Weal will be attacked in the next few days. Loell knows exactly where it is now, and, unless we have a lot more people here to protect it, everyone here will perish.

Tom

Xoc is going to activate his Teleportation ability. It’s occurring to me—Does my Teleportation ability let us bring the Ladybug too?

Emily

I’m just not sure what we’ll need the Ladybug for.

Kyle

I mean, it can fly.

Hallie

I keep forgetting that.

Emily

Oh yeah. [Laughs.]

Kyle

It has the beanie.

Tom

And Xoc is just picturing home, that last day when he left the Weal and looked back over his shoulder.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

During that time you’ll have to get up to the cloud and face that. I just, I don’t know… If you wanted to get up there without any of those things getting in, you need an army protecting this place while you’re gone.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, since we can find people and we know where they are, we don’t even necessarily have to call someone. We can just get them. I could teleport back and teleport people here. We have time, after all! We have days. That’s time enough to convince the Weal, and that’s time to bring people here. That could actually work!

[Intro music swells and carries into the episode.]

Kyle

We start with white, and then other sensations kick in.

[Romantic, ethereal music begins.]

The sound of impassioned, deliberate if not always super-well informed hammering. The sight of a vibrant smile. Cute, adorable little chittering. A streak of chestnut across your white vision.

When Xoc teleported to the Weal he thought of images of a place, but you’re thinking of something very different Hop, you’re thinking of her. And, as it has the past dozen times for everyone else who has gone on this adventure, the sensations eventually disappear from your memory and appear in front of you in person.

[Music ends with sci-fi teleportation and glitter SFX.]

Hop, you have teleported to grab another recruit. And, as much as going into this your mind was focused on who you were looking for, Sera very quickly becomes the least of your concerns.

[Surfer radio music begins.]

You look around you and you see a… it’s like a Chuck E. Cheese. There are some animals in the corner, this just robotic velociraptor.

Hallie

[Delighted.] I get to see him again.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Tom

Your baby boy.

Kyle

Which is surrounded by flames being put out by this group of three pirates who are jumping off of a pirate ship that has crashed into the wall? And for a second you wonder, Sera was at the peace summit, right?

Hallie

[Grinning.] I think so.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

But you snap your brain back into focus and you focus in on the grinning face in front of you.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Out of breath.] Sera! You know how you gave me this for emergencies? Um… One of those is happening, and we could really use your help.

Kyle

And that’s when the airplane hits you in the side of the head.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Ouch.

Kyle

You turn over to see that Sera is accompanied by four other people.

[00:05:00]

[Lowering his voice.] For those listening in The Cookie Crew, there were actually five, but Madeline is… she’s gone off. She’s somewhere else right now.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Right before you got there she just got a shepherd’s hook and she just skated backwards out of that room.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Just pulled off-screen. I would like the players of the protagonists of The Cookie Crew to tell me who they are, who their character is, and give me a very brief description about what their deal is.

Olivia

[Smiling.] I could go first.

Kyle

Alright, go first, Olivia. I know you’ve been waiting for this.

Tom

You  hyped us up.

Olivia

I haven’t been waiting and I haven’t been hyping. It’s not true.

Hallie

[Giggles.]

Olivia

I’m so nervous. Okay.

[“Cool” organ spy music begins.]

Hannelore, I think at this moment, I was wearing a flamingos Hawaiian shirt, and I think at the moment that the attention turns to Hannelore her false mustache slips limply from her nose and silently onto the carpet. To describe Hannelore, the Hannelore Dunn, operator of Red Mary, a roaring diesel. I have a page cut and I am a mechanic.

Kyle

So Hannelore, she/her, played by Olivia, also she/her.

Olivia

Yeah, that’s right. Exactly.

[Laughter. Music ends.]

Kyle

Alright. Let’s introduce the other—not new, you’ve been doing this for a while.

Cassidy

Eyy.

Kyle

But new to some of our listeners—cast member, Cassidy. … I guess I’ve already introduced you.

Cassidy

Yeah, that’s me. I’m Cassidy, she/her. I play Eraf who is also her/she.

[Stealthy ghostly music begins.]

[Chuckles.] She is a very light silver haired female with a cape that always billows, even when she’s indoors, especially when she’s indoors. She’s a nano, and she was a cop for a while before she was a diplomat, and everybody seems super interested in that, but she never wants to talk about it.

Tom

[Grinning.] Don’t worry about it.

Emily

She pipetted people.

Kyle

Pipetted people’s brains.

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Y’all know.

Kyle

Something Emily’s character was very interested in. So, Olivia and Cassidy may be new to some of you, but Emily and Ari certainly are not.

[Music ends.]

So Emily, tell us about who your character is.

Emily

I’m Emily, she/her and they/them, and I play Ig who is she/her and they/them.

[Silly music begins.]

Ig is a nano. Her full title is The Incredible Igneous Artiste of Astaria, and she does fire.

Kyle

So, so much fire.

Hallie

A lot.

Kyle

Anyone who hasn’t listened to The Cookie Crew, just know that Ig is Vespari’s little sibling.

Emily

Yeah!

Kyle

And that’s all you need to know about Ig to understand who they are as a person.

Emily

[Giggles.] This is true.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

And then finally, Ari. Who are you playing today?

Ari

Hello. I’m Ari, she/her, and I’m playing Angelina Lexington, or A.Lex for short.

[Motivational dance music begins.]

She is the Treasurer of… Anastasia Brackleberry. I forgot her name. I’m sorry, Hallie.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

[Deflated.] It’s okay.

Ari

She is currently clothes being on fire, which may or may not have been caused by Ig, and she likes paper airplanes, which also may or may not be involved with Hopper’s airplane experience.

Kyle

Definitely not. You know, anyone could have made that paper airplane.

Tom

[Grinning.] The airplane definitely didn’t fly off in the middle of combat and come back at the end just to hit Hopper in the face.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

[Defending herself (poorly).] Not a, it’s… No.

Olivia

Did Hannelore have some part in activating the dinosaur robots? I can scarcely remember.

Tom

Oh yes. Oh yes you did.

Hallie

Oh yeah. They’re jiving right now.

Olivia

As I’m speaking, the dinosaurs are—it’s like I’m in a weird VR setup where they’re mimicking all of Hannelore’s movements and nervous gestures. They’re all sort of fiddling with their hands in front of their tums.

Kyle

I described them as surrounded by fire, so that’s just a nightmare.

Olivia

Just sort of awkward. It’s so awkward that we’re the only ones on fire.

Kyle

Just imagine an awkward handshake from a velociraptor surrounded by fire.

Tom

A velociraptor with a salad bowl on its head or something.

Hallie

[Delighted, barely able to make words.] yeah! He’s got the salad bowl on his head.

Olivia

We really can’t get into it.

Cassidy

[Contented sigh.]

Olivia

We can’t get into it.

Hallie

[Pinched, laughing.] He’s Salad Raptor! And if you wanna know more about Salad Raptor you should listen to The Cookie Three! He’s my baby!

[Laughter.]

Kyle

So Hopper.

Hallie

Yeah?

Kyle

You see Sera.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

You see these four diplomats, and you see Salad Raptor…

Hallie

[Pinched, overjoyed.] I see Salad Raptor!

Kyle

…surrounded by flames that these pirates are putting out.

Hallie

[Pinched.] Yeah!

Kyle

And all you can say upon seeing this is…?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, hi. Um… I’m Hopper Scotch.

[Long awkward pause.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Meekly.] Hi…

[Laughter.]

Cassidy

I expect Sera to take the wheel, in all honesty.

Ari

Same.

Emily (as Ig)

Hello! I am The Incredible Igneous Artiste of Astaria! And if you were wondering I didn’t set any of these fires.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh.

Olivia

A bowl of punch just falls off a table behind us.

Kyle

The punch is on fire.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Hopper will turn back to Sera and say:

[00:10:00]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Weren’t you at a peace conference?

Kyle (as Sera)

Uh, yeah.

Hallie (as Hopper)

So it went well then.

Kyle (as Sera)

Yeah.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

She just nods her head with a really excited, proud of herself smile.

Emily

Somberly, Ig shakes their head from behind her.

Cassidy

Eraf’s gonna just say:

Cassidy (as Eraf)

This is about as peaceful as things can get with us sometimes.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

We definitely did “our” best.

Kyle

I feel like A.Lex has thoughts.

[Laughter.]

Ari (as A.Lex)

Well, I’m just gonna say, sorry about that paper airplane. It was definitely not meant for you. Usually I aim it better than that, but seeing as how I was on fire and am no longer on fire, as you can see—Anyways. I am Angelina Lexington, or A.Lex for short. Nice to meet you, Hopper Scotch.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Nice to meet you, A.Lex. I’m glad that you’re not on fire anymore. I’m glad that the fire doesn’t appear to be as active as it could be…

Hallie

Looking around at people actively, like…

Kyle

A piece of the roof just falls down.

Olivia

I gesture at many, many spent fire extinguishers that most of them didn’t extinguish a fire but we did our best to try to use them.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I’m Hannelore, by the way.

Olivia

I wave, and all the Dine-o-Saurs wave.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Hopper is a little bit alarmed by all the Dine-o-Saurs waving at him at once. He just wasn’t prepared for it.

Ari (as A.Lex)

Sorry, I just want to get a full profile of you. So what is your occupation in this? I just need to make a quick biography here in my notebook. I do that for every people I met and I haven’t met you before.

Kyle (as Sera)

He’s great. Yeah.

Hallie (as Hopper)

So, Hopper Scotch… that’s my name. Um, I came from the Weal of Baz, is what it’s called, and it’s just kind of… it’s in trouble. There’s this cloud that is kind of my friends’ and my fault, but it’s…

[Chuckles, stammering nervously.] I’m not, I’m not, I’m not…

Hallie

And he reaches out and grabs the first cup that he finds on a table and just downs it.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Oh no… Oh no.

Emily (as Ig)

Oh! Um… I wouldn’t, I don’t, I don't know if I would—

Olivia

Hannelore just goes ghost, just so pale.

Kyle

[Smiling.] Is the—?

Olivia

Something happened to it.

Cassidy

Was it all of the punch?

Kyle

Is the punch still spiked?

Tom

I feel like it was the fifth one, so I feel like we need to one-in-five chance that it’s been spiked.

Hallie

[Smiling.] I forgot that I did that, as a GM, and now…

[Laughter.]

Olivia

It’s not so fun now, is it, Hallie?

Kyle

Alright Hallie, roll me a d20, and we’re gonna go 1 through 4 you got spiked by the punch.

Hallie

Wait…

[Rolls.] I rolled a 3.

[Uproar of concerned sounds and laughter.]

Emily

You poisoned yourself?!

Hallie

I poisoned myself!

Cassidy

This is great.

Kyle

So… Hallie, you were the GM of The Cookie Three.

Hallie

[Wincing.] Mm-hmm!

Kyle

Which earlier I said people should probably listen to. I feel at this point they should definitely listen to it.

Hallie

Yeah. Okay.

Emily

[Laughing.] Hallie should have listened to it.

Kyle

But for those who aren’t familiar with it, it involves a plot where the punch gets spiked. What’s the effect of someone who drinks that?

Hallie

Oh, this spike was just make everybody angry, because the Angulan Knights wanted to stoke a fight.

Ari

Oh, that’s right.

Olivia

Oh! So Hopper’s about to just be a strange man entering this party and yelling at us.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Well, well…

[Hard rock music begins.]

Kyle

Hopper, you are suddenly uncontrollably angry and you don’t know why.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Man. You know, I’m just angry because there’s this fucking cloud and we have to fight it, and it’s hurting all my friends, and it’s hurting a lot of other innocent people as well, and I feel so powerless. We’ve been running… all of us. We got magic to work and now we’re going from town to town and we’re talking to people who we think may help us, so we are just… we are just, you know.

Everybody’s looking around. I’m really glad that I found you, but it just makes me mad that I even have to ask for help with something like this. You know, this shouldn’t happen in a civilized society. This is ridiculous!

Kyle

Sera’s just nodding her head, like “yeah, yeah, you tell them. You tell those spiders.”

[Music ends.]

And in fact, when you’re done, she’s just [Claps rapidly.]

She’s so proud of you. A tear goes down Chitters’s eye. They’re just so happy you’ve opened yourself up emotionally.

Olivia

Aww~

Hallie

[Grinning.] To allow and express a negative emotion.

Tom

I am just so happy that the only effect of Hopper imbibing this rage potion is that he dropped an F-bomb for the first time in his life.

[Laughter.]

Ari

A.Lex is gonna turn to Sera.

Ari (as A.Lex)

You were right. He is great. I like this!

Ari

She’s just gonna start also screaming about the injustices of spiders and the world. She’s convinced.

Olivia

Hannelore, just knowing nothing, has a cookie and gives it to Ig to give to Hopper.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

You’re nice. Yeah, go for it.

[Silly music begins.]

Emily

Ig will slowly—

Olivia

I give them a second one so that they’ll have one when they’re done delivering the cookie.

Emily (as Ig)

[Softly, smiling.] Thank you.

Olivia

[Laughs.]

Emily

Ig is like standing… She doesn’t go forward at all

[00:15:00]

but like slowly stretches her arm further and further out towards Hopper and eventually will have to start leaning forward but won’t move closer.

Emily (as Ig)

[Hesitantly.] Would you like a cookie while you wait—?

Hallie (as Hopper)

I would love one!

Emily (as Ig)

Oh… Oh. I-I-I… Maybe you could eat your cookie and wait for the punch… which was actually not our fault, honestly. The fire was kind of my fault, but the punch was actually not our fault.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

No.

Kyle

How does Hop angrily eat a cookie? What is his fury cookie eating like?

[Giggling.]

Hallie

It all goes in at once. He just stuffs the whole—I imagine like a small gingersnap sized cookie. It just, like—

Kyle

Like a fucking hamster? Just a big bulge.

Hallie

Yeah! It’s like in his cheek and he’s just anger chewing.

Emily

Ig copies him.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Cassidy

That’s adorable.

Olivia

Two thumbs up from Hannelore, like if you look up.

Emily

Ig will turn around and thumbs up back.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

While you’re eating, Sera has an edge in to kind of bridge the gap here so to speak.

Hallie

The cookie finally shut him up so she can talk.

[Laughter.]

Olivia

He was hangry.

Cassidy

You’re not you when you’re hungry.

Kyle (as Sera)

Yeah, so anyway. These are my cousin’s diplomats. They’re very effective, very straightforward. Everybody, this is Hopper Scotch.

Kyle

And you hear a little (whistle), and Chitters has already gotten onto Hop’s shoulder and given him a big face hug.

Several

Aww.

Kyle (as Sera)

Chitters likes him. That’s really all you have to know.

Hallie

It is though.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

[Laughs.] Hopper’s still a little bit angry, like hopped—

[Proud of herself.] Hopped up.

Cassidy

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Ari

[Laughs.] Hopped up!

Hallie

On anger potion, so he—

Emily (as Ig)

Eraf uses pipettes in people’s brains!

Cassidy

Ah, there it is.

Emily (as Ig)

We’re really good at stuff!

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah. Yeah…

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Sighs.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

There have been several disasters that happened, but they could have been a lot worse.

Emily (as Ig)

Or better.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Let’s talk about the issue you’re having.

Kyle (as Sera)

Right! Right. You have, uh… spiders.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

You personally have spiders?

Hallie (as Hopper)

No. No.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Okay.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I don’t personally. So listen, my friend’s home is the Weal of Baz and it’s home to a robot community and we have convinced them to let us help them fix shields and everything, because we know that an attack from the cloud is coming soon, so we just need to be prepared. So actually, we’ve all been going around asking people for help, and I came to ask Sera, but you all seem… effective.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Effects happen… because of us.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

We have a car?

[Laughter.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Can I bring the car by the way? I was just—Thank you, Eraf. I was just about to bring that up. Do you have room for a van?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Uh—

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Do you know what a van is? It’s sort of like a rocket ship or a boat but it’s just for the land.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

It has condiments.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Condiments.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Napkins.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah, it’s got napkins in there. Those are in the glovebox. And… I do need to bring her with me. It’s like 98% of my character.

Kyle

So…?

Hallie

Hopper will twirl the staff a little bit and say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

I think that can be arranged.

Hallie

He doesn’t twirl it well. It’s not a good twirl. It’s like, he goes to…

Kyle

Give me a roll.

Ari

He angrily twirls it which is also probably not good.

Emily

Good thing it’s strong-glass.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Seven.

Kyle

Uh…

Ari

So goodbye to your glass, Xoc.

Cassidy

[As a groan.] Aww.

Tom

[Sighs deeply.]

[Glass clattering SFX.]

Hallie

Alright. I drop it, and then he’s like “oh, I hope I didn’t break Xoc’s ‘strong-glass’ staff.” Then he will pick it up and finish.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I think I can do that. I think, I think I can do that.

Kyle

As you’re having all this conversation, Hop, you can feel a hand brush against yours, and then quickly retract, and then Sera, a little more sheepishly, touches the strong-glass staff.

Kyle (as Sera)

Uh, c-can I?

Hallie

Hopper thinks. So he almost broke it earlier when he dropped it, but it is strong-glass, so like that’s pretty hardy, right? But like, this is Xoc’s special thing. He’s trying to be very careful with it. But Sera is smiling at him and asking, so yeah, it’s gonna go to Sera.

Kyle

Whoosh. The staff is away from you and she picks it up and slams the staff onto the ground.

[With a BOOM, Xoc’s magic theme begins.]

The Red Mary is surrounded by this blue light as a hum emanates around all of you. The blue light rises on the side of the vehicle and is replaced by golden sparkles which slowly disappear the Red Mary and its inhabitants out of existence.

Emily (as Ig)

Wheeee!

Kyle

And in a second all you see is white. The first time Xoc went to the Weal he could sense specific things of it. When Hop went to see Sera he could sense specific things about her. But you just sense a cacophony of information—sounds, lights, it is absurdly overwhelming. But just when you’re starting to get a little bit of a headache…

[Music ends with sci-fi teleportation and glitter SFX.]

[00:20:00]

…you blip back into reality someplace else.

[Inspirational music begins.]

Now, I wanted to write one description for this, and it was the description of what it looked like when you arrived… but I couldn’t. I mean, how could I? Trying to describe what you see is like trying to describe every voice in a crowd. It’s like trying to describe every flower in a field. It’s like taking every single description I have ever written for Quest Friends and trying to merge it together.

You see so many things. You see a weird frog centaur hopping down at this bay. A flock of majestic qwhales swims in the air in front of you.

Olivia

Oh my god!

Kyle

You can hear so many people talking and yelling a faint chorus of:

Kyle (as aneens)

[Many layered over each other.] Aneen!

Kyle

You are in the Weal of Baz, but it is weird to call it that because it is in a state the Weal has never been in before.

[Music ends.]

This group has emerged in the Ring of Power in where Xoc’s old house was, but the house has been almost opened up like a dollhouse that can split in-between, so you can actually see the open air in front of all of you. As you’re trying to get your bearings, Hop walks out of the vehicle and motions you towards a welcoming committee.

[Joyful tuba music begins.]

You see a banner that says “Welcome to the Weal!” It’s super bright and colorful and it’s got glitter and stuff. In front of it you see this small circular robot—Q-BO, for everyone else—and next to him you hear the marching band song playing from a single tuba by a small fish lady.

Meeghan continues to play her little marching band introduction song as Q-BO says:

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Q-BO)

[Beep-boop.] Welcome to the Weal of Baz, Seraphinia Delilah Willow Brackleberry, and Chitters!

[Error sound.] I do not recognize these other individuals. They were not on the list.

Hallie (as Hopper)

They’re, uh… They’re surprise reinforcements. It was really nice of you all to agree to come help. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. This is the Brackleberry Brigade.

Emily (as Ig)

We’re really good at things.

Olivia

I zip up my coveralls so that you can see that I am Hannelore, and also just to cover up the casual Hawaiian shirt I was wearing before.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Hannelore.

Cassidy

Eraf’s totally on the defensive and just kind of expecting something to go wrong.

Ari (as A.Lex)

Is this a resident of this place? You said it was just machines. Is he like the mayor?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Q-BO is actually from a place called Roulettia. Before that, I don't know, but that’s where we met him. He is the Quantum Beneficial Quorum of Beneficial Outputs… I said beneficial twice. He has a name that’s very long and I feel bad for not remembering it.

Tom

[Grinning.] It’s shorter than Misha’s name.

Hallie (as Hopper)

But he’s very helpful. He’s our friend and you can trust him.

[Faltering tuba SFX.]

Kyle

As Meeghan continues to play the song—she faltered for a second because normally it would stop, but she’s not sure so she keeps playing.

[Giggling.]

The little orb just rocks back and forth. Q-BO’s not quite sure how to respond. Then, eventually:

Kyle (as Q-BO

[Q-BO search results SFX.] Perfect. I have found perfect positions for four new recruits like you.

[Beep-boop.] Please follow me and my companion here.

Kyle

And Q-BO rolls off with Meeghan following him.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Confused.] Understood…

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Bolstering herself.] Okay.

Emily

[Laughs.] Ig has started wandering off so someone should…

Olivia

Oh no.

Cassidy

Uh…

[Cookie Crew theme song begins.]

Olivia

Hannelore is looking around her elbows, realizing that Ig is gone.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

And you set the Brackleberry Brigade loose in the Weal of Baz. Will they be more helpful than the spiders or will they be an even greater threat? Only time will tell.

[Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

Hello and welcome to Quest Friends, Episode 78: The Obsidian Cloud, Part 5. I am Kyle, your GM, and our intro and outro songs are Friends and Hitoshio both by Miracle of Sound.

We are in the end-game now. Five episodes left in this campaign, big ones too.

[00:25:00]

This is probably gonna be our second shortest out of the five. Thank you so much for coming on this adventure with us and seeing it through to the end with us. Thanks for my players. Thanks to folks like David S. Dear who is voicing Horus again in this episode. A lot of us worked real hard to get to this point, and I’m real excited for what these episodes hold.

But, I’m also excited for the future, and in order to help best figure out where we’re gonna go from here, we need your help. So, in the description below you are going to find an audience survey. This survey has information to help us determine what our audience is like, what y’all like, and the best way to make the best Season 2. Every field is completely optional, and it would mean the world to me if you were able to fill out any answers you had thoughts on.

As a thank you to anyone who fills out the survey, you can provide your email at the end and we’ll actually send you the first batch of Season 2 episodes when they go to press, so that’ll probably be early 2022. There’s also a field where you can answer Q&A questions.

So, previously I said I was gonna try to get an episode out each week. As you can see by the length of this episode and the fact that I said this was the second shortest one, that’s just not viable, so we are gonna go with our biweekly release schedule. But, a cool thing about that is that actually means our final episode is gonna be releasing on our four year anniversary, September 25, and on that day we’re gonna livestream the finale episode and we’re actually gonna have a Q&A afterwards.

So, if you have any questions at all you would like to ask us about the show, our thoughts about it, thoughts about characters… the questions can range from serious behind the scenes stuff to we got a super-fun question asking about what we would do if we wrote indulgent fan fiction, so anything goes.

If you’d like to submit a question, you can always send us a message anywhere, on our Contact page, on Twitter, on Tumblr, or as I said, if you check that survey in the description, one of the last questions will be a space for the Q&A questions.

Thanks again for listening to my long explanation of the survey, which by the way, it’s open until September 24, so the day before the finale episode comes up. I’ll probably mention it in future announcement breaks, but it’ll be just a quick reminder. The main description was in this one.

As I mentioned, we’re gonna be going biweekly, so our next episode will be releasing on Monday, August 16, but if you’d like additional content before then, you can find stories, artwork, and behind the scenes insights at Patreon.com/QuestFriends.

[Joyful tuba music carries out of the announcements.]

Kyle

Okay. So, it has been a few days since our last main session, since the beach episode. In that time you have recruited a whole bunch of NPCs. Essentially, between last session and this one, I reached out to the players, I had a big old spreadsheet of every NPC I could remember, and you went down and you said which ones you wanted to bring and which ones you very much did not want to bring. And that’s gonna be our list.

They won’t all be in this episode because this episode instead is gonna focus on a second list. So, you said all the characters you wanted to bring back, which was a few dozen, and then each of you gave me three to four characters that you specifically wanted to speak to before your characters left off to go punch a brain boy, but in a very physical way, because he’s gonna be physically there in the cloud and you can actually punch him.

Ari

Oh, Misha is so excited.

Hallie

It’s gonna be great.

Ari

Finally, after all these… I was gonna say years, but it hasn’t been that long. After all—

Tom

I mean, it’s been years for US.

Hallie

Yeah!

Ari

It’s true.

Kyle

It’s been years for you. It’s been about a month and a half for the characters.

Ari

After all these month and a half Misha will be able to actually punch Loell. That’s all they ever wanted to do.

Kyle

[Laughs.] So, we’re going to go through that and have you talk with your NPCs, because at this point all of them have been brought in. Sera and the Cookie Crew are actually the last bunch. So just off-screen I guess, because Rei was also in The Cookie Three, Elee just warped in, grabbed Rei, left.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Kyle

It was all very impractical. But before we get to that, let’s talk level up, because in these couple of days you have all actually had time to level up. You are Tier 6. This is your final level up. What did you take with it?

Tom

I can start if no one else wants to, since I may or may not have planned this out like four years ago when I decided every single spell I was going to pick at every level up.

[Chuckling.]

I think I mentioned that Xoc had been tinkering with little bits of Argent since the Prodigious, and that was part of the inspiration and power behind the Teleport ability.

[00:30:00]

But Xoc has gone even further beyond and cracked some of the secrets of time itself. So, as my final esotery, Xoc has taken Freeze Time.

[Plotting electronic music begins.]

You cause time to stop flowing everywhere within immediate range for 1 minute. The effect immediately ends if I leave the area or use an action to end it early. It affects everything in the area except for me, and when the effect ends everyone resumes what they’re doing as if no time had passed.

Kyle

Okay. Any other skills or abilities you want to bring to the table?

Tom

Um… what the hell was my skill? It’s been so long since I actually needed the level up. What did I raise here…? I think I maybe became specialized in resisting telepathic intrusion if I didn’t do that at Tier 5, but I think I only became trained in that at Tier 5, right? Right…?

[Music ends.]

Kyle

I honestly can’t remember. In either case, the Freeze Time is the scene stealer.

Tom

It’s the juicy one. Everything else is just continuing to raise my Int to levels unheard of, not putting a single point in anything else, as is my want.

Emily

I do want to know, what is your full Int?

Tom

Oh! Yeah-yeah-yeah. I have 43 Intellect currently.

Ari

Jesus Christ.

Kyle

[Delighted.] Jesus Christ!

Emily

Forty-three!

Hallie

Jesus!

Tom

With 6 Intellect Edge, which is as physically high as it can raise. You are not allowed to raise an Edge above 6.

Kyle

But still 9 Might, right?

Tom

Yep, 9 Might, 9 Speed, 0 Edge in both.

Hallie

God!

Tom

But 43 Intellect, which means I am 18 points of damage away from being completely unable to act at all times.

Hallie

But was it worth it for the 43 Intellect?

Tom

Oh absolutely. Absolutely. My wizardly power is un-fucking-matched. I can’t wait to be able to rain spells down for days on end and then just get slapped once in the final boss fight and not get to play the game.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Well, your wizardly power does have one match, because it does come from someone else. Misha, what are your level-ups? So, we have seen Move Mountains, we know that one because you did it.

Tom

[Laughs.]

Ari

I did it.

Kyle

But I know you mentioned—I don’t think I had this in the episode. I know you changed some of your lower level abilities.

Ari

God…

Kyle

And you have something new for your Focus.

Ari

You know, you remember more than I do, because I also did this a long time ago. Now I need to see. Oh, I forget what I took out. I think it was the Hot and Cold because I didn’t actually ever use it. So, I have Barrier now. You create an opaque stationary barrier of solid energy within immediate range. Which is a thing that I debated doing to save the Ladybug and then I was like “no, let’s go all-out, instead of making a barrier let’s just move a mountain,” and I did that.

Kyle

Amazing.

Ari

I don't know what else I added, but I can flex and say that I have 30 Intellect total and then 18 Might, so even though I don’t have the wizard powers of Xoc I do have 18 might, so I won’t be knocked down immediately.

Tom

Double my durability in combat.

Ari

Yes.

Tom

What’s the Tier 6 esotery?

Kyle

I know it’s something fucked up.

Ari

Yeah, that’s it! It is part of my focus, I remember. It is Datasphere Control because I also debated using it last, whenever we recorded the thing of just making the robots do what we want, because I have that ability.

Tom

[As a weak groan.] God… No. No… Why are our foci basically the same? Agh!

Ari

Because we were meant to be! Our characters were meant to be!

[Laughter.]

Tom

But no, I mean what was your Tier 6 spell like from the spell list?

Ari

[Pinched, unsure.] Move Mountains?

Kyle

Move Mountains.

Tom

Oh! Move Mountains is the Tier 6 one?

Ari

Yeah.

Tom

Oh! I thought it was a lower tier for some reason.

Kyle

It’s 9 fucking Int. It is not a Tier—

Ari

No. Wow! What an insult that is.

[Mocking voice.] “Oh man, it looks so weak.”

Tom

I don’t—No!

[Indignant, pinched.] That wasn’t what I meant! I just for some reason thought it was like Tier 5 or something.

[Laughter.]

Ari

No~

Tom

[Sobbing, silly.] I’m sorry.

Ari

It’s my Tier 6 skill.

Tom

[Weakly, silly.] I’m sorry.

Kyle

So, speaking of characters who are frequently sorry—Oh shit, that’s a good transition for both Elee and Hop.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily

[Laughs.] I had no idea which character you were doing next.

Hallie

Yeah. I was like this is gonna be a surprise which.

Tom

I’m gonna be offended on their behalf.

Kyle

[Smiling.] Elee, what were your upgrades?

Emily

[Smiling.] I’m still insulted that it’s me, though.

Ari

I thought it was for Hop.

Emily

The one that I wanted to tell you about specifically is that I now have 6 Armor.

Hallie

[Laughs, golf claps.]

Kyle

Fuck you~

Emily

I didn’t choose that.

Tom

That’s part of the Focus.

Emily

It’s just—

Kyle

[Mocking voice.] “Oh, I didn’t choose that, I just got this ability. Oh, I’m Emily, my hands are clean!”

Emily

[Playful mocking sound.] No, I did my spiteful thing with armor last level up. This one just happened.

Kyle

Exactly, so now this has compounded on your spite.

Tom

Local game master very angry that party’s tank can tank.

Emily

[Laughs.] The other big one I have is that I took Finishing Blow.

[00:35:00]

If a foe is stunned or prone or disarmed and I strike them again, I can inflict 6 additional points of damage. So, it’s a hit them while they’re down, they’ll go down faster, I guess.

Tom

[Laughs, humorous and bellowing.]

Kyle

I like how Tom destroyed the mic with his sinister laughter.

Tom

[Goes over-the-top with the sinister.]

Kyle

Alright. Let me just go to Aegon’s character sheet, give him a few more hit points.

Emily

[Grinning.] Please don’t. No.

Tom

How dare you.

Emily

Please don’t.

Tom

Look, we still have to roll well to do anything.

Ari

You know, I may or may not got you covered on that end.

Kyle

Yeah. It’s not like Hallie’s the one dealing damage. That argument doesn’t hold water.

Emily

Wow.

Hallie

Rude! Rude!

Tom

Why do you hate us so much, Kyle?

Kyle

Hallie, you rolled a 3 to avoid spiking yourself with your own punch.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Yeah, but… I don’t see why that’s relevant.

Can I talk about my character sheet and why I will be doling out damage?

Kyle

Yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah.

Hallie

Okay. That was a transition. So, the reason I will be doling out damage is because I took the Invisibility skill which is a jack skill. It’s also a nano skill at a lower tier, but it’s also a Tier 6 jack skill and I really wanted it.

I can become invisible for 10 minutes and while invisible I am specialized in Stealth and Speed defense tasks. This effect ends if I do something to reveal my presence or position such as attacking, performing an esotery, using an ability, moving a large object, and so on. But I can then regain invisibility by just reinitiating the action.

Kyle

So, is this… I need to know how Hop got this magical ability unless it’s just he’s so good being a normal dude in the crowd that he can just blend in.

Hallie

I like to think that’s part of it, but then the other part—I think I took Invisibility when he was a nano briefly for the Chapter 5 finale in the Datasphere. I think that was one of the esoteries that I took.

Kyle

I can’t remember, but I like the idea that you still have a brief connection to some little bit of the Datasphere out there.

Hallie

Yeah. He just inexplicably retained that invisibility ability.

[Slow and deliberate, trying not to stumble.] Invisibility ability…

Tom

Invis-ability.

Hallie

[Aggressively delighted.] Agh! Yeah!

Tom

I’m very clever.

Kyle

Alright, and for your Defend the Innocent.

[Heroic music begins.]

Hallie

Oh, yeah-yeah! So finally, finally, I have unlocked Defend All the Innocent, meaning that now when I say I can protect everybody around me, by declaring them innocent, I can actually do that instead of it being me forgetting I can only do it to one person.

[Laughter.]

Now it’s everybody, baby! Everybody’s innocent. You’re all protected. All your Speed defense rolls are decreased by 1 step, so you’re welcome. And I’ve still got my handy dandy shield.

Another important thing that I didn’t realize I did when I upgraded was you can move one of your skills from trained to specialized, and I did that to my Flex Skill spot, so now anything I choose as a Flex Skill is a specialized skill. Currently it’s DIY Projects because that was the last one I chose. I don't know what it’s gonna be today!

[Music ends.]

Tom

Holy shit.

Hallie

Or tomorrow. I don't know what the final Flex Skill is gonna be. We’ll see. Parallel parking didn’t work out for me, but I might go back to that one.

Ari

Now there are two cars.

Tom

We’ve got more than two cars.

Kyle

You have SO many fucking cars.

Tom

Because we’ve got the Speedy Speed Boys in full.

Hallie

Oh fuck yeah.

Ari

That’s true.

Kyle

Yeah. You’ve got the Red Mary, you’ve got the Speedy Speed Boys.

Ari

The purple frog.

Kyle

You’ve got June.

Tom

Yes, her RV!

Kyle

From Questionable Measures, and she’s got an RV.

Hallie

Parallel Parking it is, then. I’m putting that in, and I am specialized.

 Kyle

Okay. So, let’s… Let’s talk to some NPCs. We are going to go back to when the Brackleberry Brigade, the protagonists of The Cookie Crew, have all gone off into the Weal to sew chaos and discord and potentially help, leaving behind in this open-air version of Xoc’s home, you, Sera, and Chitters who is still glomped onto the side of your face.

[House creaking SFX.]

Hallie

So this is just hanging out, right?

Kyle

Yep. You’re right next to the Ring of Power.

Hallie

Cool.

Kyle

Depending on how awkward you two are depends on how long you two have just been hanging out here.

Hallie

Okie-doke.

Kyle

Before Sera eventually goes:

Kyle (as Sera)

So…

Hallie (as Hopper)

So um, how—I mean, I know the peace conference went well, you said that already, but how have you been since we last saw each other?

Kyle (as Sera)

Oh. You know, um… good. Hasn’t been quite as exciting as—

Kyle

And she motions to you but then motions to the rest of the crowd.

Hallie

To everything?

Kyle (as Sera)

But you know.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah.

Kyle (as Sera)

Soe’s nice.

Hallie

Did Soe go with her?

Kyle

Soe went with them. Yes. You forgot about her in The Cookie Three, as well as Mayra and Sunny who were also there.

Hallie

UGH!

[00:40:00]

Tom

You don’t need to put this on Hallie now.

Kyle

[Smiling.] We have discussed previously about how you have forgotten them.

Hallie

[Smiling, frustrated.] God!

Tom

This is unnecessary.

Hallie

We have. This is—This is not a good… No episode is good for me. So then, rewind.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, that’s right. Soe went with you. So you two were getting along then? I mean, you were before, in the Prodigious, but I mean…

Kyle (as Sera)

Oh yeah. Absolutely. She’s a great kid. Really good technical mind. She knows the names of all the… things.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, you know what, now that you mention it, she was really good at, um… She made little ships in bottles, didn’t she? I seem to remember that. But that was before you met her, too. I bet she would be really good at stuff like that. Does she help you build things and fix things?

Kyle (as Sera)

Yeah. She’s actually… She helped me work on this.

Kyle

Sera starts reaching around for something and eventually notices that Chitters has something in his mouth and just pulls it out of his mouth. You can see that he was chewing on this little 20-sided dice.

[SFX ends, romantic guitar music begins.]

So this 20-sided dice is an item submitted by dingbingbats, who is dingbingbats.tumblr.com. This was recommended as the prize for Hallie for—at least on the air—being the one who won our trivia night that we did a few months ago. So, this is a cypher that you have, and what you can do is, once, Hop can use it—eat it, crush it, however you wanna flavor it—and you can take a roll that you make and flip the dice over and take whatever the result on the opposite side was.

Hallie

That would have been so useful an hour ago.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Tom

I had forgotten this suggestion and how it was the perfect gift/curse to give to Hallie.

Kyle

In fact, it’s actually a many, many more sided dice with so many different faces, and it’s got so many numbers and equations on it, half of which seem to be shoddily painted on. You can clearly tell where Soe was able to use her hair to delicate calligraphy out a beautiful number and Sera just put on whatever she could.

Kyle (as Sera)

Yeah. You know, when… [Stammers.]

If you came back, I thought you would like it because…  heh, numbers.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Hopper is too stunned by all the numbers on this die. Sera called him out. He’s looking at all of these really pretty numbers and he’ll look back up at Sera.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I love it. Yeah, numbers, but they’re so… wow.

Hallie

And he can’t think of any other way to express his feelings but “wow.”

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Well, luckily you don’t have to because that’s when Elee walks in.

Emily (as Elee)

[Uneasy.] Hi y’all… I can leave, now? Egh…

[Silly music begins.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, no, that’s—Hi Elee! That’s totally okay.

Emily (as Elee)

Uh… hi. Hi! Yeah… hi, Sera, and Hopper.

[Stammers, squirms.]

Kyle

Sera turns over and looks at you and her big awkward kind of flustered smile immediately turns to a deadpan frown.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

And she snaps.

Kyle (as Sera)

Chitters.

Kyle

And Chitters climbs off of Hop, gets on Sera’s shoulder, and just looks at you. Sera seems to be glaring, but Chitters… Chitters can’t be mad. He’s just staring.

Tom

[Pleased hum.]

Emily

Elee squares her shoulders and does a little (huff), gearing up.

Emily (as Elee)

Hi Chitters.

Kyle

[Laughs.] Chitters immediately folds. He rushes off of Sera, climbs up to you and gives you a big hug.

Emily

Elee is not a huge fan of this. It’s like insects running all over you and stuff, that like gross feeling. There’s just something, she doesn’t know why, it’s just a thing.

Kyle

At seeing your little squirming Sera finally breaks a smile and just laughs to herself.

Kyle (as Sera)

Chitters. Chitters, come on.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

And Chitters climbs down and he climbs back up on her chair and back onto her shoulder. She moves a bit closer to you and says, a little more lightly:

Kyle (as Sera)

So uh… still causing problems, I see.

Emily (as Elee)

[Strained.] Always. It just happens when I walk, and also when I open my mouth, and sometimes when I don’t do either of those things.

Do you actually want me to, like, leave and stop being super weird? Like, I know you kids need your time to be kids…

Kyle (as Sera)

Oh, no, no. It’s fine. So, did you grab mom already?

Emily

[Nervously.] Kyle, did I?

Kyle

Yes you did. Sera’s the last one.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Elee)

Yeah. It ended up that I went and grabbed everyone else so that Hopper could focus on the person he really wanted to see.

[00:45:00]

Kyle (as Sera)

Oh.

Kyle

She leans back to you, Hop.

Kyle (as Sera)

Save the best for last, eh?

Hallie

[Laughs.] Hopper pulls down his hat a little bit, because he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink the way they do when he blushes, and then he’ll clear his throat.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah. I was, um… I was really excited to see you again.

Emily

Elee pinches his cheek.

Hallie

She pinches his cheek as he was about to say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Pinching her own cheek.] But I know Elee was too.

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

So, I can give you two a moment if you’d like.

Emily (as Elee)

Oh no, it’s fine! I… I don’t want— [Nervous huffing.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, that’s totally okay. Actually.

Hallie

Then he’ll turn to Sera.

[Romantic guitar music begins.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Thank you again for the die. When you gave this to me you said you were holding onto it in case I came back. I just want you to know that I really want to come back.

Hallie

And then because Elee is still there he’ll shift his hat a little bit to cover his face from her, because he’s embarrassed.

[Giggling.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

I like you a lot and I’d really like to see you again.

Tom

Aww.

Hallie

Then he’ll give a nod to Elee and then he’s on his way.

Tom

“I like you” and then flees immediately from the scene.

Hallie

[Laughing.] Well… yeah! If she doesn’t respond, he runs away.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

There’s another pause.

Emily (as Elee)

I was going to apologize for assuming that I was interrupting something, but clearly I actually was and now this is kind of really weird, but I’m very happy for you. Um… heh.

I’m hoping that maybe, you know, later on, we could catch up or—

Kyle (as Sera)

Or something.

Emily (as Elee)

Or not. Um…

Kyle (as Sera)

Elee.

Kyle

Sera gives a big sigh that you have not heard her give to you for 15 years.

Kyle (as Sera)

I watched you and mom awkwardly flirt for SO long. Now you know how it felt.

Kyle

And her eyes turn to little almost like starts of excitement as she says:

[Glitter SFX.]

Kyle (as Sera)

But uh… I heard there was a generator that needed fixing?

Emily (as Elee)

[Pinched, emotional.] Yeah!

[Ragtime music begins.]

Kyle

Elee, you lead Sera up towards the generator. Which again, the generator is off near one of the edges of town. Powers the barrier. So you’re taking Sera and she immediately sees the generator and just switches her chair to the athletic mode and speeds off.

[Whoosh SFX.]

It’s almost like a car tearing off, just VROOM!

Emily (as Elee)

Sera! Do not electrocute yourself!

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

You go off to chase Sera, but you get distracted by The Stash.

[Music ends.]

The Stash, again, is right next to the generator. It is this big pile of miscellaneous parts. And you can hear a buzzing from The Stash as this robot cicada floats around it and goes:

[Funny, brassy music begins.]

Kyle (as CK)

Closed spaces?!

Kyle

And from inside The Stash you can hear a quiet voice go:

Kyle (as Soe)

No, I actually think they’re cozy.

Kyle (as CK)

Public speaking?

Kyle (as Soe)

My friend Meeghan and I actually performed a song. Everything after that went bad, but the song went pretty well.

Kyle (as CK)

Well certainly you have had to have that horrifying dream of your teeth falling out?

Kyle (as Soe)

Nope. I don’t think I’ve ever had that dream.

Kyle (as CK)

Oh, come on, dear new friend Soe. You have got to be afraid of something.

Kyle

And you notice that there are in fact dark blue thin tufts of hair emerging from inside The Stash as CK is floating around it, speaking to Soe, who is just deep inside of The Stash looking for something.

[Music ends.]

Emily (as Elee)

Are you having fun, CK?

Kyle (as CK)

Oh! Elee Badge. I am certainly not having fun. You know it is my job to study phobias, and while I have a clear target in someone like you, your daughter is much more challenging.

Emily (as Elee)

[Stammers.] Well… good! Not that I’m a target, but I mean, good that she’s challenging you.

Kyle (as CK)

I suppose, but…

Emily (as Elee)

How are you doing, Soe? You can get back out, right? You’re not, like, buried?

Kyle (as Soe)

I’m fine, mom! I’m just looking for a few parts so I can make something, and CK’s keeping me company.

Kyle

You know the little periscopes? The hairs go and turn towards you as she starts talking to you.

Emily (as Elee)

Anything I can help with?

Kyle (as Soe)

Oh. No, that’s okay. Misha’s already helping me.

[Soe’s silly theme, but with kazoo, begins.]

Kyle

Misha, sure enough, you who has been recruited by Soe previously, arrive at this point onto the scene.

[00:50:00]

Ari

Well, so I actually wanted to say that Misha has been there the entire time, because Misha is already helping Soe. The way that they are is that CK has been carrying Misha all this time throughout this conversation.

[Laughter.]

Tom

Holy shit.

Ari

Because they have found that being up in the air actually provides a good vision point for them to look at different things from above.

Kyle

It’s like search lights but just these purple lights zooming down.

Ari

Yeah!

[Music ends.]

Tom

I’m just picturing this scene where we’ve seen CK only from the back each time the camera’s been on them, but suddenly he just rotates and Misha’s just there. “Salutations, Elee Badge.”

Ari

[Smiling.] Yeah. They will say:

Ari (as Misha)

Salutations, Elee. I have found being in the heights is actually a very good way to analyze things from above.

Emily (as Elee)

I’ll admit, I didn’t expect that you were also up there.

Ari (as Misha)

It is fun. If you want you could try it too. I could tell CK—

Emily (as Elee)

Oh, I’m good, thank you. Thank you. Oh, that’s so very nice of you. Um… [Nervous chuckle.]

Kyle (as CK)

See? That’s why I said you were an easy target.

Emily (as Elee)

I know! I know. I have so many fears… It’s fine.

Kyle (as CK)

That being said, I think it is time for a break.

Kyle

CK sets you down, Misha, as Soe steps out from The Stash with just a pile of really, really tiny parts in her arms.

Emily

Elee carefully does not touch them.

Emily (as Elee)

It does kind of feel like up-close could have made it easier to find these.

Ari (as Misha)

You would think so, but I actually was able to find them better from above because if I was up close I would get distracted by the different bugs and crabs that kept being on the floor. When I’m up I cannot see them as easily as these parts.

Kyle

There’s just a bunch of robo-bugs you see skitter out from underneath The Stash.

Ari

Misha will immediately follow them.

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Elee)

Oh… Bye?

Soe, just… be careful, please.

Kyle

Your beautiful, sweet baby girl looks at you and says:

Kyle (as Soe)

Of course, mom.

[Horror musical sting begins.]

Kyle

But then with horror she says a phrase that you recognize from another child of yours from 15 years ago.

Emily

Oh no. Oh no.

Kyle

Something that sounds almost rehearsed.

[SFX ends.]

Kyle (as Soe)

I never do anything you wouldn’t do.

Emily (as Elee)

Sera!

Kyle

And she runs off. [Laughs.]

Speaking of Sera, by the time you get to the generator she is not there, Xoc. Instead, you see three figures taking a look at the generator and at the spear with prismatic tips at the end.

[Waltzy, witchy music begins.]

Kyle (as Sunny)

Ooh, this is so colorful.

Kyle (as Mayra)

Oh, it’s uh… It is very colorful, Sunny, but I’m not sure if that would be helpful.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Well actually, the colors could be very, very useful at putting things together. I use colors all the time when piecing things together, although for me it was more related to my, um… wires?

Kyle

Xoc, you walk up and you see Sunny floating around the generator. Next to her is Mayra who’s taking a look at the spear and just making down notes. And next to both of them is, from Charmonde, Shauna, the robot made out of wires with the little eggshell helmet. She actually, because she can stretch, she’s shifting between stretching all the way up to look at the generator where Sunny is and then stretching down to talk to Mayra who’s down on the ground.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I guess your guess is as good as ours. I went into those ruins, and I guess I can read it all now. I think there was something about colors in there, but maybe that was just something whispered in the vines. It’s still a very confusing civilization, so you may have a better understanding of how it all fits together than I do right now.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Well, all civilizations are confusing. Although, that may just be me.

Tom (as Xoc)

No, you’re right. I think it’s even confusing for humans who grow up in it.

Kyle

Mayra just nods her head. Her eyes widen and she nods her head.

Tom

[Laughs.] Is this the socially awkward club?

Kyle

Sunny, realizing you’re there, goes:

Kyle (as Sunny)

Ooh, Xoc! You’re back!

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I didn’t go too far. You know, just across the continent a couple of times.

Kyle (as Sunny)

Oh, always humble you and the rest of them are.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, it’s not really through my power, just something borrowed. Shared? I don't know. Anyway, anyway.

Tom

Xoc, trying to intentionally distract the conversation from that, also embarrassed, says:

Tom (as Xoc)

You know, I don't think we had much of a chance to chat before, Shauna. I’m really curious what Charmonde’s been like since we left.

[00:55:00]

Has there been more trouble since we fought Vera?

Kyle

Shauna will have been thinking to herself. She’s saying:

Kyle (as Shauna)

Shared, shared, shared… It’s on the tip of my tongue.

Kyle

And then after you speak to her she goes:

Kyle (as Shauna)

Oh! Right. Yes, Charmonde.

[Silly plodding music begins.]

So, after the Heart of Charmonde went down, which you caused…

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, Mr. Mako.

Kyle (as Shauna)

…Charmonde was kind of on edge because of that cloud, that really interesting cloud thing which you also caused.

Tom (as Xoc)

Okay, that is true.

Kyle (as Shauna)

And they were ready for war until that ship went down… which—

Tom (as Xoc)

[As a sigh.] Yeah, that was us too.

Kyle

She looks over to Mayra who just nods.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Yes, you also caused that as well. So…

[Music ends.]

But we’ve made great strides in finding a new energy source.

Tom (as Xoc)

I am very glad to hear it. You—

Kyle (as Shauna)

Oh! Right! That’s what I forgot. Shared! Shared, shared, shared, shared, shared!

Kyle

Shauna unfurls some of her wires to reveal this knotted wooden jar which is glowing with this blue light moving through it like a river.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Don was looking for you but wasn’t able to find you. He wanted to give you this.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh! Well, thank you. What is it?

Kyle (as Shauna)

Well, remember that nearly-infinite energy source in Charmonde? The one they called infinite but really wasn’t infinite.

Tom (as Xoc)

I think I remember that from our time there.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Yeah. That’s it. Don’t drop it.

Tom

Xoc is just going to very delicately slide it into a part of the robe.

Kyle

Set this live grenade in your bag.

Tom

Tie it snugly, like… ugh.

Kyle

This is a little piece of the energy from the Heart of Charmonde that Don was given by one of the player characters in the What If spinoff series which was given to him specifically with the intent of finding its way back to the main party. So, before this, Tom requested to have—

Tom

I was the only voice pushing for this one gift from this party to ours needs to make it to us by the finale.

[Chuckling.]

But anyway. Xoc is going to say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Well… thank you. We’re going to need all the help we can get to get through this.

Tom

Then he just sort of shuffles for a moment, looking up and down.

[Gentle piano music begins.]

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m very glad you’re still here with us, Shauna. You seemed kind of out of it when we last met, so I’m very happy to know that things are getting better.

Kyle (as Shauna)

Well of course! We make things better. We find a better way. I have you to thank for that.

Tom

Xoc will smile, and then also turn to Mayra and Sunny.

Tom (as Xoc)

Also, thank you both for coming back and helping us but also for all of your advice. It was, um… it was good.

Kyle (as Mayra)

I’m glad we could help however we could. We made this mess and it only feels right that we help fix it.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Xoc)

Alright. So, I want to know more about this, so teach me. Show me what we’re working on and I will help in any way I can.

Kyle (as Sunny)

Of course! We’ll tell you everything we’ve been able to figure out.

Kyle (as Mayra)

But Sunny, we haven’t—

Kyle (as Shauna)

Nothing! We figured out nothing.

[Dr. Thistle’s Magic Sound begins.]

Kyle

Speaking of nothing. Someone is selling nothing somewhere else in the Weal. We are gonna move back to the town square. There’s a lot of folks here, a lot of machines.

I do want to make it clear that machines of the Weal are helping out all over the place during these scenes. I’m focusing on the NPCs you know, but it’s not just them going in and fixing stuff for the Weal. The Weal is an active participant in this. And that means they’re an active participant in getting sold to, because there are a few shops that have set up in the main central area of the Weal.

The most notable one is actually semi blocking the way into the Reference Section City Hall. It is this colorful wagon that folds out onto a stage. There are little gummy people bouncing back and forth to the music of this which is labeled on top “Dr. Thistle’s Mystical Magical Instruments of Wonder and Magic.” And Misha, you recognize this song, and I imagine you’re just sitting there listening to it. It’s the exact same song as it was two months—it’s only been two months—the exact same song focused a bit more on the machines.

Afterwards the crowd does not boo. They aren’t the same as the other crowd. They are the Weal. They just kind of stand there confused and then disperse leaving behind Dr. Thistle, Dr. Thistle’s little gummy friends, and their one interested customer.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Ein)

A magical unique instrument?

Kyle (as Stein)

[Skeptical robotic squawking.]

[01:00:00]

Kyle (as Ein)

Oh Stein, it’s not a con! You’re too skeptical of everything.

[Con artist kazoo music begins.]

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Oh yes you are too skeptical there, little… weird machine voice from somewhere. This is a unique instrument. One of a kind. You wouldn’t find it anywhere else.

Kyle

You can see that Ein is standing in front of Dr. Thistle holding a carbon copy replica of your kazoo.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! Hello Ein. Hello Stein. Are you buying one of Dr. Thistle’s magical instruments? I want to say that I bought one myself. I have it here, and it’s actually magic.

[Music ends.]

Ari

And Misha will take out their kazoo.

Tom

Classic unintentional Misha shade.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, by the way, I never thanked you, Dr. Thistle, but this has really been very useful. You probably don’t remember me because I didn’t remember you until very recently, but I want to thank you because this really has been a very magical and powerful instrument and I’ve really liked it.

Kyle

[Smiling.] Dr. Thistle’s face is just blank. You have 404’d this poor con person. They don’t know how to respond.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, maybe you do remember me. I don't know. I sometimes make a face like that when I remember somebody and sometimes when I don’t remember somebody, so I don't really know what is going on but I think they are excited.

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Y-Yes, I… Yes, I uh… I certainly am. Yeah, of course! Of course I remember you, my customer from, uh, that uh…

Ari

I am really bad at names. What was the name?

Kyle

Legrash.

Ari

From Legrash. That’s what it is.

Ari (as Misha)

From Legrash!

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

Oh, you need an ointment for some sort of rash? I suppose one of our instruments could solve that. I mean they—

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, no-no-no, I meant the place. I guess I… Legrash?

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

[Bluffing.] Oh! Legrash. Legrash! … Legrash~ That name sounds familiar. Yes, it certainly sounds familiar. And I got you that one of a kind unique instrument, not similar to anything else.

Kyle

You can see they are just slowly taking the kazoo out of Ein’s hands and slipping in another one that looks slightly different.

Ari (as Misha)

Well, could I maybe buy another one of your now not one of a kind, perhaps two or three of a kind for what I was able to observe, magic instruments? I believe that Ein would want one, and after this is over we could make a little band. You know, a little concert of us playing this instrument together.

Kyle

Ein looks stunned.

Kyle (as Ein)

A band?

[Nostalgic piano music begins.]

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I thought so. I mean, I heard about bands when we were on the ship. There was a band class. I was not part of it but I heard all about it and I thought it was very fun, so perhaps we could do one of these afterwards.

Kyle (as Ein)

[Shakily.] Afterwards. A band… after this is all over and we’re safe.

[Music changes to rock wrestler music.]

Kyle

And Ein suddenly gets more authoritative than she’s ever been before.

Kyle (as Ein)

You! Salesperson!

Kyle

And Thistle’s like:

Kyle (as Dr. Thistle)

[Nervously, stammering.] Uh, yes ma’am?! I swear, no refunds.

Kyle (as Ein)

I want to order every single one of your instruments, and you can give the bill to one James Win!

Ari

[Smiling.] Oh my god.

Hallie

Ha! HA!

Tom

But Ness already stole all their money.

Kyle

Everyone except for Jimmy’s. Jimmy didn’t bet.

Tom

I guess that’s true.

Hallie

Jimmy didn’t bet. He’s good for it.

Tom

[Inhales sharply.]

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Okay, so we are gonna move just a little bit to the right to Hop and Xoc. Each of you are walking towards this thin tent with the pattern of a starry night’s sky on it. Penny in Pocket. Why are you going to Penny in Pocket?

Hallie

Stock up on stuff, and they’ve been here like the whole time, so like I didn’t ask for a scene with them or anything, but I imagine Hop would go in and just say a quick “oh, glad you’re here, thank you for everything.”

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

“For supplying us literally our entire adventure.”

Tom

Honestly, for Xoc it’s half he wants to check on everyone and make sure everyone’s okay, they’ve been having a nice time here in the Weal, everything’s working out for them, and also… do they have anymore Sprayflesh? Oh god, do they have any more Sprayflesh? Please.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright. Each of you walk in. Each of you give me a Perception roll.

Tom

Holy shit. Dice.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Twelve.

Tom

[Rolls.] A 10.

Kyle

Okay so, as you’re walking up, you notice that it’s weird. The tent is usually a tent with a single slit in the middle to walk through, but you notice where that slit should be there’s actually two slits, and in that spot there is another starry pattern. You walk closer kind of confused, like that’s weird, why is that happening?

[Silly accordion waltz begins.]

And suddenly Vespari’s cape flows over. His starry cape almost knocks into both of you as he says:

Kyle (as Vespari)

Xoc, Wizard of the East, and my good friend the sad cowboy man. How are you two doing?!

[01:05:00]

Tom (as Xoc)

[Smiling.] Vespari, you’re alright!

Kyle (as Vespari)

Of course I’m alright. They don’t call me The Safe Vespari for nothing.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle (as Vespari)

Well, they don’t call me that at all, but…

Hallie (as Hopper)

It’s a good nickname though. It’s good to see you!

Tom (as Xoc)

I was going to agree as well.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah. It’s a good name.

Kyle (as Vespari)

Have you two come shopping?

Tom (as Xoc)

Eh… we certainly could use supplies if there are any to be had.

Hallie (as Hopper)

We were gonna stop in. Yeah.

Kyle (as Vespari)

Well, I was actually on my way out to do some advertising.

Kyle

And he floats his arms in the wiggly inflatable tube man way.

Tom

[Delighted.] The noodle arms.

Kyle (as Vespari)

Let me come inside and show you the renovations they’ve done.

Tom (as Xoc)

By all means.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah.

[Music changes to peppy electronic shopping music.]

Kyle

You walk inside and it’s Penny in Pocket, but it’s brighter, there’s more energy. There’s people moving in and out, milling. It’s not quite as frantic as it was at Qi, but there’s more energy to it, and life, a lot of it emanating from this young man in a vest behind the counter who, for the first time in a while, happily says:

Kyle (as Haymish)

Hi! Welcome to Penny in Pocket, the best gear for the very best of adventurers, and fans of the magician, The Vespari. My name’s Haymish. How can I help you today?

Kyle

You notice that Penny in Pocket is split basically right down the middle. On the left side there is typical stuff: books, adventuring supplies, all sorts of stuff. On the right side is just Vespari merch: replications of his mask, pins with his face on it, a little tip book about how to do real esoteries, do real magic, with nano powers, how to train on that. The book is actually a play on his old motto, so his old motto, you know, “fake esoteries, real magic.” This book is titled ‘Real Esoteries, Realer Magic.’

Tom

[Amused.] Oh.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

‘A Vespari Story.’

Tom

[Delighted.] Oh! A Vespari Story!

Kyle (as Vespari)

The realer magic is friendship.

Hallie

Christ.

Tom

I have never been so unambiguously proud for an NPC. Look how far he has come. Holy shit.

Hallie

Yeah!

Emily

Vespari’s arc was as significant as the PCs’.

Kyle

What I like is that he’s back to where he was where he is a famous performer.

Tom

But like—

Hallie

But it’s like better this time.

Ari

But he has self-esteem now.

Tom

Yeah! He has pride in what he does.

Hallie

Yeah!

Kyle

Haymish immediately notices you.

Kyle (as Haymish)

Oh! Customers. Welcome to have you back. Tattertop, Ignatius, they’re here!

Kyle

And Tattertop who’s still in the corner, but you notice a few NPCs have actually gone to talk to him, like, you see Meeghan has gone there and in fact L’Adrien is leaving after having talked to Tattertop, just goes:

Kyle (as Tattertop)

I know, Haymish. They are the ones who brought us here.

Kyle (as Haymish)

Well yes, but you know… So, what can I get you?

Hallie (as Hopper)

You know, I just need a few things.

Hallie

And Hopper has a small list. He’s gonna pick something up. I don't know what it is, but he’s Hopper Scotch so he’s making last-minute prep.

Kyle

Xoc has a list that’s just “Sprayflesh please.”

Tom

Yeah, Xoc’s list, “just potions please.”

Hallie

[Laughs.] “Please?”

Kyle (as Haymish)

Hmm… We’re pretty low on stock, but let me see what I can do.

Kyle

Haymish walks behind the counter and starts rummaging underneath the counter for something.

Hallie

Hounding out Sprayflesh.

Tom

I’ve got plenty of Spraymetal, so if Misha or Elee need healing…

Kyle

Yeah, so you can take four items. I will let you take four items from the Penny in Pocket shop.

Hallie

Yay!

Tom

Oh shit.

Kyle

And you will have those items for free.

Tom

That’s good because I have zero money.

Kyle

Because, as Vespari says:

Kyle (as Vespari)

Yes, so when I was finding myself over the past couple of weeks I ran across my good friend Haymish here. Haymish seemed torn up about “something.”

Kyle

And Haymish says, from behind the counter:

Kyle (as Haymish)

Yeah. You know my existential crisis I was having?

Tom (as Xoc)

I… I think we remember.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah.

Kyle (as Haymish)

Well, it turns out the reason is actually related to—

Kyle

And he points to a banner that Ignatius has finished making, this glowing beautiful banner with all sorts of sparkles on it that says “Penny in Pocket Going Out of Business Sale.”

[Quiet, but inspirational, music begins.]

Kyle (as Haymish)

It turns out the business wasn’t what I wanted at all.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Really?

Kyle (as Haymish)

Yeah. So, I’d see all of you adventurers going off and doing things and it just… I don't know. I was so excited to help all of you, and no one wanted to buy stuff, and when they did in Qi… I didn’t like it. You know, it was, it was…

Kyle (as Vespari)

It was doing a magic show with no magic to show for it… or something like that, was what I told my good friend Haymish.

[Music ends.]

[01:10:00]

Kyle (as Haymish)

So yeah, I like giving stuff, but I… I just don’t know if the business was the best way to do it.

Kyle (as Vespari)

So anyways. I took my considerable wealth from the Roulettia performances. You know those, the Trash Tank one where I tried to have you murdered. I got a considerable amount of money from those. And so, I am funding a new shop for my good friend Haymish so he doesn’t have to worry about all of those details anymore.

Hallie (as Hopper)

That’s so great.

Tom (as Xoc)

I’m glad those resources are going to good use, I guess.

Kyle (as Vespari)

Absolutely! Absolutely. And I cannot thank both of you enough. Were it not for you helping me find myself, helping Haymish, my dear friend Haymish, find himself… I wouldn’t be able to give you these commemorative buttons!

[Laughter.]

Kyle

He pulls out five buttons, one for each of you and Ness.

Hallie

Yes!

Kyle

And it just has his face on it.

Hallie

I love it.

Kyle (as Vespari)

They’re actually double packs, so you can give one to a friend.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Thank you. This is great.

[Chummy piano music begins.]

You know Vespari, I never got to thank you, because you confronting your own things on the Prodigious helped me confront mine, and I don't think you ever knew that you helped with that, but I felt like you needed to… so thank you, and thank you for going out and doing this, living your dream. This is really great and really inspiring, and I’m really happy for you.

Tom

Xoc is going to take one of the pins out, pin it to the front of his robe, and say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Thank you. I’ll keep it close always.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Haymish)

Okay!

Kyle

Haymish has pulled out a briefcase, the one that he had for his little portable shop in Roulettia, and he pops it open.

Kyle (as Haymish)

Here’s what I’ve got for you.

Kyle

Inside will be four items. What items do you want?

Tom

Are there any limits on these items?

Kyle

Nope.

Tom

Okay, because I don’t want to be mean and be like “well there’s no point taking less than the MAX Spray things,” but if there really is no point in taking less than MAX…

[Laughter.]

Alright, so then do we want a Sprayflesh MAX, a Sprayvein MAX… We could go for another Spraymetal, too. I already have some, but we could always do another. We could also get something that isn’t healing.

Hallie

I was eyeing The Biggest Rock for no reason at all. I  just was like, a rock sounds—

Tom

Just a rock. You could just pick that up off the ground, though.

Hallie

But I mean, would it be the biggest one?

Tom

Probably.

Hallie

No~

Tom

Probably.

Hallie

[Smiling.] No.

Tom

Look, look.

Ari

If you took The Biggest Rock, I would try to use it, but technically Elee is the biggest rock.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily

I am a rock. What would you like me to do?

Hallie

We don’t need to take The Biggest Rock. We can take more healing items.

Tom

Would that be acceptable?

Kyle

Acceptable but boring.

Tom

Well, what weird things could I buy here? I don’t want Glow Globes. I’ve got those. Whisper Locks?

Hallie

We could get the Gerald Memorial Glass Jar.

Tom

We could get the Gerald Memorial Glass Jar.

Hallie

That would be nice. That would be like a nice end-game sentimental thing to carry away with us for free.

Tom

Maybe I want this. I want to feel like I’ve been hoarding potions the entire game. Also, a bit of fear was put into my heart during the Lady fight when I was like “oh, that’s my only Sprayflesh… heh-heh.”

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom

Alright, Gerald Memorial Glass Jar. Fine, we’re taking the Gerald Memorial Glass Jar.

Hallie

Yeah we are.

Kyle

In memory of Gerald, Year Y-3 to Y-0.

Tom

This will be the pivotal moment in our fine battle.

Kyle

It plays a song every time you pull it out.

[Music box music begins.]

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Just one of those in memoriam songs.

Emily

Gerald was three?

Hallie

So it’s a music box.

Kyle

I guess!

Emily

[Laughing.] Are you just gonna gloss over that?

Hallie

[Grinning.] I caught you there! Oh, I’ve cracked open the case! It’s the music box.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Okay Elee. In almost every other case running into someone was incidental. Misha heard Dr. Thistle’s song. You ran across Soe. This person you’re going to see intentionally. How do you feel standing outside of June’s RV again?

Emily

There’s a pit of dread in her stomach and there’s a feeling of meeting the family of someone you’re dating or meeting an advisory professor or something, somebody who you want to impress and you’re scared of. She’s gonna knock and she’s gonna put her biceps into a proper door knock.

Kyle

So you walk up and you hear laughter from inside. It sounds vaguely familiar, but you can’t place it, you can’t figure out quite what it is.

Emily

Oh no. Oh no! I just realized who’s there. I realized who I put on my list!

Kyle

And you knock on, and you hear June, oddly jovial, saying:

Kyle (as June)

Yes? Who is that?

Emily (as Elee)

It’s… It’s Elee Badge.

Kyle (as June)

Oh, Elee Badge, huh?

[Hushed.] Do you want her in here? … Are you sure?

Alright! Open up.

[01:15:00]

Kyle

You walk in and you see a few figures.

[Scheming silly music.]

You see June standing on the left. Next to her you see this skeleton in a box with a chopped off head that is displaying some cryptic words. Standing next to them, just laughing, delighted at this little thing, you see the worst person you could imagine talking to June. You see Rei.

Emily

June is like a cooler, tougher Elee!

Kyle (as Rei)

This device is absolutely delightful, June. How did you say you ran across it again?

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as June)

Ah, you know, Soe, the kid, she just found it out there somewhere in The Beyond. Named him Steven.

Emily (as Elee)

Yeah, I’ve never really asked her for details about that. Like, what prompted her to take this potentially human skeleton and just take it around with her?

Kyle

Rei turns to you and raises her eyebrows.

Kyle (as Rei)

You, Elee Badge of all people, would question why someone would do something like that?

Emily

[Laughs nervously.] Elee cringes a little bit.

Emily (as Elee)

That is a valid point, but also… I have no arguments. [Pained] Also that.

No! No. I came here to, um… I came here with a mission, and I won’t be distracted from my mission.

Kyle (as June)

Well, take a seat. Princess Brackleberry over here has been telling me all sorts of interesting stories.

Kyle

She goes back into a story that Rei was clearly in the middle of telling.

Kyle (as June)

So you’re telling me she was—she’s afraid of going on boats? Ha! Always knew I was tougher.

Emily

[Laughing.] Elee is shrinking into herself.

Emily (as Elee)

I came to, uh…

[Overly dramatic, inspirational music begins.]

I came to tell you that I am working very hard and I’m going to, uh… I’m going to continue to build and improve my relationship with my daughter, and I wanted you to know that I care about her very much and I have told her this, but I wanted you to know as well because I know you were concerned. But I’m actually now just hanging out here feeling kind of inadequate because you’re like really cool and tough and buff. Um… you know? [Laughs nervously.]

[Music ends.]

Kyle

You have two of the scariest women in the world staring at you.

Emily

[Laughing.] She’s so afraid, Kyle.

Kyle

Rei looks at you. Her arms are crossed, but she just has a warm smile on her lips. She looks over to June, and June looks at you. She eyes you up and down. Give me a Speed defense roll.

Emily

[Rolls.] Two, which feels right.

Kyle

Take 3 points of—

Emily

You can’t take-

Kyle

Might damage past Armor.

Emily

Past Armor?

Kyle

Yeah.

Tom

So it was 9 damage in total?

Kyle

So 9 points total.

Emily

But, but, but, but… you can’t just start taking away my Might right before—

Kyle

You’ll heal beforehand! You’ll get a full heal.

Emily

[Exhales.] Okay. Fine.

Kyle

As June lunges towards you and slams both of her fists into your back in an extremely hard and aggressive hug.

[Friendly rock music begins.]

Kyle (as June)

I missed you too, Elee Badge. Now come, we’re asking Steven questions.

Kyle

She motions you over to ask some more questions with Steven.

Emily

Elee did her hardest hug ever. It wasn’t enough.

Kyle

June barely felt it.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

But she didn’t want to be awkward, so she wasn’t gonna bring it up.

[Music ends.]

That was a fun awkward family reunion. Do we want to have one that’s worse? We’re getting near the end of our time. You can tell the Apocrita is close. Elee is spending this time with June, Steven and Rei. Hop is spending the time with somebody, I’m not sure who. Ness I’m gonna say is spending his time with Jimmy. He’s just hanging out with Jimmy.

Hallie

Yeah, he’s hanging out. He’s been conspicuously absent all night, but right now he is with Jimmy.

Kyle

Xoc and Misha, however, you meet up because you’re both looking for certain figures. So, you bump into each other outside of Xoc’s house while looking for these folks.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh. Hello Misha.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, hello Xoc. Sorry, I didn’t see you there.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, I uh… I was lost in thought so I wasn’t paying close attention either. I was just stopping by home because I haven’t had a chance to talk to Horus and Jaykell all day.

[01:20:00]

Ari (as Misha)

I was looking for, well… I was looking for someone, but I don't know where he is. I kind of dropped him off and I don't know where he went. Maybe he’s here.

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, if he isn’t, I know that Jaykell will know. Jaykell knows where everybody is at all times here. Even now. I don’t quite understand how it works.

Tom

And then Xoc will awkwardly get the door for Misha.

Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, after you.

Ari

Misha was also going to get the door for Xoc.

[Laughter.]

Tom

Nailed it.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh… I guess we could try to go together. Do we both fit in here?

Tom

[Smiling.] Are they just gonna try and go through the door at the same time?

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie

God!

Tom (as Xoc)

I don’t think this door was built for two people at once. This may not have been our best idea.

Ari (as Misha)

I still like it. I guess it makes us be closer and it’s always needed after, you know, what’s gonna happen.

Tom (as Xoc)

Yeah. I can’t argue with that.

Tom

We’re just both wedged in a doorframe together, like holding hands!

Ari

Yeah. Yeah.

Tom

[Into his hands.] What the fuck are we doing?!

[Laughter.]

So this is where they find us, just wedged in the doorframe.

Ari

Trying to get in.

Kyle

Eventually you hear a voice say:

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Are you two just going to stand there all day or are you going to come in?

David (as Horus)

I’ll get them, Jaykell. Would you be so kind as to help me, my new furry friend?

Kyle (as Fayz)

Ruff-ruff! Yes! Of course! Of course I can help you!

[Upbeat, silly music begins.]

Kyle

You each feel two hands. You actually feel a toothless dog mouth pull on your hand, Xoc.

Tom

Aww.

Kyle

And Misha, you feel a segmented robotic hand pull on yours, as Horus and Fayz the dog man pull you through the door into the house.

Ari

Aww.

Kyle

Where you can see they’ve set up kind of overlooking, watching everyone else.

[Music ends.]

Ari (as Misha)

Oh… thank you, dad?

Ari

Is what Misha is going to say to Fayz.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Dad. Dad? Not dad. Fayz.

[Loving piano music plays.]

Kyle

And the just thump-thump-thump, his little dog tail is just thumping real hard against the ground.

Emily

Aww!

Ari

Aww. Misha is going to just—I mean, I assume that they have seen Fayz because they brought Fayz, but they’re gonna hug Fayz anyways.

Kyle

He lunges in for a hug real hard.

Ari (as Misha)

You know, I didn’t realize how much I missed this. It’s also because I forgot about it for a long time, but uh… you know, I really like your hugs, Fayz. Um, dad, if I can call you that. I don't know.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Of course! Of course! And forgetting isn’t—I forget all of the…

Ari

[Smiling, as a groan.] Oh no.

Kyle

And he stares for a second having forgotten what he was about to say.

Tom

[Sobs.]

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

And he turns back to you.

Kyle (as Fayz)

Let me show you spot. Let me show you my spot.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I would love to see it.

Kyle

He runs off to show you. There was a seat for Horus, a little perching space for Jaykell, and then there is a little dog bed.

Ari

Awww.

Kyle

And Fayz runs off to show you his view. Actually, you can see he nudges to the side a little bit giving you space to sit down next to him.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, it’s beautiful.

Ari

Misha’s gonna turn to Horus and Jaykell.

Ari (as Misha)

Thank you very much for providing these accommodations here for my dad.

David (as Horus)

It was not a problem at all, Misha.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Not a problem at all? Horus, we literally up-ended the entire house to make this happen! It was—

[Music ends.]

David (as Horus)

What I meant to say is it was our pleasure.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Well of course… of course it was our pleasure. Horus, you need to be more specific when you say things in the future, otherwise you’ll make me look like a fool.

Ari (as Misha)

Thank you anyways.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Ari (as Misha)

This is a really lovely space.

Ari

Then Misha will just watch the sunset with Fayz while the scarf is hugging Fayz as well.

Kyle

Xoc, that means we’ve got… We’ve got one last before the final scene. Xoc, that leaves you with Horus and Jaykell.

Tom

Yeah… Xoc will say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Thank you for being so welcoming to my friends, and all the loved ones we’ve brought here, and for helping me, both the other night and through my whole life.

[Nostalgic piano music begins.]

Tom

Xoc is tearing up a little bit.

Tom (as Xoc)

I, um… I don't know how things are going to go soon. It’s going to be our most dangerous adventure yet. I just want to tell you that I love you both and feeling a little emboldened by Misha’s proclamation. I couldn’t have asked for better… better fathers.

David (as Horus)

[Chuckles.] You continue to surprise and delight me, Xoc. When I found you in the wastes I knew that you would bring things that the Weal could never have imagined, and yet somehow I underestimated you nonetheless.

[01:25:00]

In only a few days you’ve turned the Weal into someplace wonderfully unfamiliar. And, when I had spent years trying to say it, building courage I was certain I didn’t have, you were able to call what we were so easily. I am so incredibly proud of you, son.

Tom

Xoc will hug them.

Kyle

And they will both  hug you back.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

There is one thing I’m surprised by, though, Horus. You said that… You said it was a big deal to call him your son, like a big thing you were afraid to do.

David (as Horus)

Well, of course, Jaykell. We both spent years not saying it, after all. Of course it was challenging.

[Silly waltz music begins.]

Kyle (as Jaykell)

What do you mean we both spent years not saying it? Of course I knew he was our son.

David (as Horus)

Is that so? In that case, why didn’t you say anything?

Kyle (as Jaykell)

Well I just kind of thought it was, you know, assumed. It’s one of those assumed things, Horus.

Kyle

And those two go off, squabbling with one another.

[Music ends.]

Alright, we’ve got one last scene, one last group of folks to see. Where did you leave the Ladybug? Where are you going to take off for your fight against the cloud?

Tom

Honestly, I kinda feel like it’s still on the beach.

Hallie

[Laughs.] We just left it there. It’s as good a place as any.

Tom

Might as well.

[Sounds of the waves begins.]

Kyle

Down at the beach we see a small family, our few final NPCs. If you were staring at them for a second you could swear you see Mauve and Mako, but you see something new, something they would argue is better. Jesse is at the back of the Ladybug. They were determined when they heard that it had been injured to fix it, and after a few days’ hard labor you can see they have solidly put on a third tarp in the back.

[Laughter.]

You now have three tarps in the back.

Hallie

I’m so happy.

Kyle

But they’re putting a lot of effort into it, really tying things down, knotting them. Next to Jesse you can see Everett is sitting there. He’s fiercely blinking his eyes, changing colors to see the perfect different direction. So, he changes it once to make sure that the layers are overlapping correctly. At one point he blinks his eyes and his pupils become the little floating air bubble in the levelers, so they just move to the left and right to make sure he can see that everything is level.

Next to him you can see this little thimble, this tiny, tiny version of the robot model that Tready is, just sitting there hovering next to Everett and helpfully, quote-unquote, whistling instructions along. It would be things like Jesse saying…

Kyle (as Jesse)

So, I move it here?

Kyle

…and Everett going…

Kyle (as Everett)

Ugh… no Jesse. A little bit up and to the—

Kyle (as Viola)

[Whistles.]

Kyle (as Everett)

Exactly, what Viola said. You’re putting a corner where you already put a corner. You have to put it someplace else.

Kyle (as Jesse)

Oh! Right. One corner for each part, because it lays down. Got it. Got it.

Kyle

The four of you walk down as they are putting the final touches on this piece of tarp.

[SFX ends.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

You guys did a great job.

Ari (as Misha)

It really looks nice.

Tom (as Xoc)

The Ladybug’s never been better.

Emily (as Elee)

I mean… eh, we should probably acknowledge that we tore the entire back off.

Hallie (as Hopper)

We’re really sorry about that.

Tom (as Xoc)

I said it’s never been better.

Ari (as Misha)

I was in the driver’s seat. I don't know if I had anything to do with that particular incident.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Jesse)

Thanks! I think it looks pretty great too, now that I’ve got all of the corners.

Kyle

And Jesse pops their head out and looks at Everett who just nods.

Kyle (as Jesse)

Yes, all of the corners are on correctly. Let me get my stuff and I’ll get back out.

[Random clattering SFX.]

Kyle

And Jesse—you can hear just some rummaging. It’s one of those (crash, meow), just various noises. You don't know what they have in there and you’re a little bit concerned with all of the sounds you’re hearing from inside the Ladybug.

Emily

While that’s happening Elee is gonna hold out a hand to the thimble.

Kyle

The thimble that you gave Jesse and Everett, who Everett has named Viola, kind of nervously goes towards you and…

[01:30:00]

Kyle (as Viola)

[Whistles.]

Kyle

…and makes a noise towards Everett, and Everett just nods. She rushes up and settles on your finger.

Emily

She’s gonna let the little thimble… She had that brooch from Hopper that it liked to cuddle with. She’s gonna go let it sit next to her brooch.

Emily (as Elee)

Have you been taking good care of them?

Kyle (as Everett)

Ugh… yes I—

Emily (as Elee)

Oh, I was talking to the thimble, but uh… I’m glad you’ve been doing the same.

[Gentle emotional music begins.]

Kyle

Everett blushes.

Kyle (as Everett)

Fine…

Kyle

He looks over at you, and you can see the corner of his eye for a second.

Kyle (as Everett)

No. Wait. Give me a second.

Kyle

He just starts blinking.

Kyle (as Everett)

Where… Where is it? God it!

Kyle

And he turns over to face all of you. You can see his eyes, for the first time—normally it would be covered by a tuft of hair—his eyes are a different color than they normally were. Normally they’d be something like pink, or black to see something specific, or red, purple… I’m just giving random colors now.

His eyes have a different color to see a different purpose, but this time there’s something different, because you see in his eyes a kaleidoscope of color, a rainbow of expression. You see all the colors.

[Music ends.]

Hallie

[Breathily.] Fuck you. Aww…

Kyle (as Everett)

So I guess you’re all heading out soon, huh?

Ari (as Misha)

Yeah.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Looks that way.

Tom (as Xoc)

But we’ll be careful. We’re gonna do everything we can to come back.

Kyle (as Everett)

You better be. You know, you coming back was why I…

Kyle

He kind of nervously scratches his head trying to get up the courage to say something, and instead of saying that he just says:

Kyle (as Everett)

Mom would never forgive you if you didn’t.

Tom

[Long emotional hum.]

Kyle

That’s when the side of the Ladybug just bursts open. You can see a hinge actually—just a few nuts fly off. Jesse has clearly broken some of it.

Hallie

God.

Kyle

And they pop out.

Kyle (as Jesse)

Everybody! We… We did the Ladybug. What do you think?

Oh no, wait. You already told us what you thought. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just so excited.

Tom (as Xoc)

It’s very wonderful. Thank you.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Thank you, Jesse.

Kyle (as Jesse)

Well yeah, of course. I’m… you know.

Kyle

I can’t think of what to say. [Chuckles.]

Tom

Maybe the party doesn’t say anything for a little bit. Maybe we just enjoy the setting sun and each other’s company.

Ari

I wanna say that Misha will turn to especially Everett because he’s the one that talked about the coming back thing.

Ari (as Misha)

Look. We are going to come back because there is a concert that you’re all invited to and it will be after we return. So, you better believe that it can’t happen without all of us in here.

Ari

If they haven’t received one of the kazoos they receive them now.

Tom

God.

Hallie

That’s so cute.

Kyle

Everett holds that thing so fucking close.

Emily

Aww.

Hallie

God!

Kyle (as Everett)

So you like… strum it?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! I can teach you how to do it. Look, let me show you.

Ari

And that can be one of the things that happen as we enjoy the setting sun.

Kyle

Yeah Misha, you and Everett go off. Xoc, I’d say you probably join them, and Elee, you just step as far away from the sound as possible.

Emily (as Elee)

[Hushed.] I’m not supposed to be a part of that, am I? I didn’t agree to that, Hopper.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Hushed.] I don't know what Misha’s talking about either.

Emily (as Elee)

[Hushed.] Okay.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Hushed.] But I guess a concert is what we’re coming back to.

Hallie

Oh. Can I turn to Jesse and ask?:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Jesse, were you able to resign from working for the Queen of Charmonde?

Kyle (as Jesse)

Oh. Yeah, that? No problem at all. I just can’t enter Navarene under threat of death from bounty hunters, but I think it went really well.

[Restrained laughter.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

That’s better than some outcomes. So yeah, just don’t go to Navarene.

Kyle (as Jesse)

We can still go to Gahn! Everett and I are gonna go there for a vacation.

Hallie (as Hopper)

That’s great. So you’re really settling in together in the post-adventure life?

Kyle (as Jesse)

Oh yeah, but I mean we still go on adventures of course, just different kinds. The other day Everett had this big thing that he wanted to cook and he couldn’t find the ingredients anywhere so I had to—

Kyle

And Jesse goes on this rant about this extremely harrowing, nail-biting adventure that they went on in order to score a single papaya.

Hallie

Hopper is enthralled.

Kyle

There was drama, and romance, and it was a lot like Quest Friends. It was one of those you’re surprised the adventure only took place within a single day when it feels like the story would have taken months to explain.

Hallie

[Laughing.] We don’t leave until the next day because Jesse is too busy explaining this story that Hopper asked about.

Tom

Loell stays his hand to hear the end of the story.

Kyle

Yep, the papaya adventures. The Tale of the Papaya Pals.

Tom

[Delighted.] Papaya Pals.

Hallie

[Delighted.] The Papaya Pals!

Kyle

They were a band of renegades that Jesse had to befriend.

Hallie

[Breathless.] I’m so proud of Jesse!

[Laughter.]

[01:35:00]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Jesse, I wanna thank you again. You have been more than a help since Charmonde, but you’ve become a friend and I’m really glad that you and Everett have come back. Thank you for giving us the Ladybug and fixing it up and helping us along the way. And um… you know, I really wanted to express that on the Prodigious and I didn’t really have anything, but I was looking through my equipment last night and I found this.

Hallie

He pulls out two Harmonicalculators.

[Gentle guitar music begins.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

I have two of them and I thought, I don't know, I don’t really need two Harmonic Calculators, and I thought maybe you would like one. If you don’t want it, you don’t have to, but I know that you would get oddities for the Queen of Charmonde and I don't know if you ever got to keep any of them.

So, in case you didn’t and that was something you wanted, this is an oddity, and it’s pretty cool. It’ll do math and music at the same time, so you can use it for the concert if you want. I just had two, so I thought maybe, you know, just as a token of my appreciation and friendship.

Kyle

They take it. Jesse wants to say a lot. You were their hero when you met them, and now you’re someone who so far exceeded those expectations, yet to say you are still their hero would be disingenuous. And that’s a series of emotions that’s too complicated for me to explain, much less Jesse. All they can say is:

Kyle (as Jesse)

Oh… that’s great, Mr. Hopper! Uh, Hopper. That’s great, Hopper. I needed something for the concert.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

It’s time to go.

[Outro song begins, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound.]

Before the sun sets the cloud will be here. So Elee, Xoc, Misha, and Hop, you look back one last time on those people you’re entrusting the Weal with and you step into the Ladybug.

[Outro music is about to swell but ends abruptly.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! Hold up!

Tom

Xoc will step back out.

[Waves SFX.]

Hallie

And then Ness comes pitter-pattering down to the beach, stops in front of the Ladybug, heaves in and out because he wore himself out as a robot running.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Really glad I caught everybody. Listen, uh… I came to a realization.

Hallie

You can tell he’s kind of trying. He wants to chicken out of saying what he’s gonna say, but then he leans back and touches the little chair that Elee gave him that he has fashioned to his backpack like a little hiker pack. He touches it and that seems to give him the confidence he needs.

Hallie (as Ness)

I’m gonna help you guys beat up the cloud because I didn’t… Look, I didn’t need help, and I was “happy” before Xoc found me.

[Laughter.]

But Xoc gave me, uh… I think they call it a home, and because of that I want to help protect Xoc’s home. But then I came to a second realization. You know, I was walking around and seeing all these people from various different locations collecting themselves into small teams, and I realized… this is regionals, and this is where I belong. So, I’m gonna stay down here and I wanna help all your other friends you’ve made along the way. Apparently. I don't know how you guys did, you’re really bad at making friends.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie (as Ness)

I am like completely befuddled at how many people are here. It was super weird learning more about you guys than Xoc has ever told me from these randos.

[Laughter.]

But that’s what regionals is all about! So uh…

Hallie

Then he straightens up a little bit and does a little salute.

Hallie (as Ness)

I’m gonna hold down the fort here.

Tom (as Xoc)

You’re gonna do great, Ness, and there’s no one else I’d trust more to make sure the Weal stays safe.

[Tearful.] And I’m glad you’re here, because I have something for you, too.

[SFX ends.]

Tom

It’s at this point I should note that we didn’t finish going over my Tier 6 level up earlier. We did not discuss my Focus Ability at this tier, which is a little up in the air. In the core book it was a weird mind control power. We weren’t about that. In Numenera 2.0 it offers another option which we tweaked a little bit. It offers an upgrade for your machine companion as an alternate Tier 6 power.

To start with, mechanically, Xoc takes out a mini jetpack upgrade to the backpack that he’s been working on, on the side, and hands it to Ness. But, more mechanically than that, Ness gets his own character sheet now.

[Guitar and piano friendship music begins.]

Hallie

[Moved.] What?!

Tom

Ness is a PC.

Hallie

What?!

Kyle

Tier 3.

Hallie

[Pinched, delighted.] He gets a little Tier 3 PC sheet?! I’m crying a little bit.

[Giggling.]

Tom (as Xoc)

You are your own hero, Ness, and I know you can do really great things. So, I won’t be worried at all about everyone down here because I know they’ve all got you looking out for them.

[01:40:00]

Tom

And Xoc’s gonna reach down and hug Ness.

Hallie

Ness will hug Xoc back, and in the middle of the hug he’ll say:

Hallie (as Ness)

I think that beating up the cloud is gonna be a lot harder than that rope climbing thing that you were really bad at, and I’d like to stress again you were really bad at it, so um… be better this time. Okay?

Tom

Aw.

Hallie

Then he hugs Xoc one last time and will nuzzle his little face into Xoc’s robe, and then he’ll separate.

[Music ends.]

He will actually go hug everybody’s legs really fast because he doesn’t want to dwell. He just wants to go and deal with this.

[Silly music begins.]

Emily

Elee, as he tries to scramble away from her, will grab him by the chair.

Hallie

Aw.

Emily

And then do her gentlest possible hug and then let him go scramble off. She just… she needed that for her. I’m sorry you can’t have your nice simple closure, Ness. Elee needs a hug.

Hallie

Well Ness will—if Elee pulls him into that hug, he will also do a really quick nuzzle like he did with Xoc in the folds of Elee’s shawl. After that he’s gonna scamper up the hill.

Ari

Wait! There’s another character. What are you talking about?

Hallie

Well, no-no! He’s—Because, listen…

Ari

I just wanted the scarf to cover Ness in a hug.

Hallie

Oh! Okay, do that.

Ari

And now you’re just like leaving up the hill without me.

Hallie

No! Well okay, let me tell you what I was gonna do. He was gonna go up to the hill and he was gonna do the little fisticuffs things like he did with Misha when they were both awake.

Ari

Oh… oh yeah!

Hallie

But that was gonna be specifically for Misha. He was gonna yell, like:

Ari

Aw.

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey Misha! Fisticuffs!

Hallie

And then run away, [unintelligible], but if you wanna do the scarf—

Ari

No, we can do both.

Hallie

I almost had him go back for more hugs.

Kyle

I’m gonna say Ness runs to do that but the scarf, completely uncontrolled by Misha, just grabs him instead as he tries to run away and do this cute emotional thing.

Ari

Misha will do that as the scarf just pulls Ness back.

Hallie

That looks legit because he’s kinda wrestling with the scarf, because it’s trying to hug him.

[Laughter.]

Tom

Just fisticuffing at each other while the scarf hugs Ness.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Fisticuffing.

Kyle

Also, I know Hop is you, but you should probably do ‘something’ with Hop.

Ari

Oh, that’s right.

Hallie

I know. I was trying to think, because he… Hmm. For Hop he’s gonna do the leg hug but it’s gonna be to both legs, like that kind of hug that little kids do because they’re not really tall. Hop will reciprocate by leaning down to Ness’s level, and he’s gonna just say, like:

Hallie (as Hopper)

You’ll do great, Ness.

Hallie

And Ness will respond.

Hallie (as Ness)

[Scoffs, indignant.] Yeah. Like, of course I’m gonna do great. You didn’t need to say it just because you’re nice.

Hallie

And Hopper’s kind of doing the math meme. Like, it was said as an insult, but the content of it doesn’t quite match up as an insult.

Hallie (as Ness)

You’re the… You’re the good at being careful one, so um… keep doing that.

Kyle

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

And then he’s gonna run up the little hill that leads up to the main space and then he’ll turn around one last time and wave to everybody before disappearing down the way.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

And now’s the point for a shift in view. We’ve spent this last day revisiting old friends, having new awkward interactions, and it’s time for you all to go off and face the Apocrita, to have this fight, finally. But you aren’t the only ones who are gonna be fighting.

[Sound of the waves begins.]

Ness, you duck around the corner and you seem to go out of view but you actually peek back out to watch the Ladybug as it picks up and flies out into the sky. As you do, you can hear everyone around you, the cars of the Speedy Speed Boy engines revving up.

[Chanting SFX. Outro music begins, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound.]

You can hear a whole bunch of people giving dramatic Aragorn-like speeches. But as these speeches happen your vision is focused instead on a small glassy black hole in the sky that seems to be getting bigger.

Hallie

Ness pulls out the Kentrim Kerchief and ties it around his forehead.

[Outro music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Kyle

He is a full PC now.

Hallie

[Smiling.] He’s a full PC now! Oh my god!

[01:45:00]

Tom

We’ve had to keep the secret for so long. I kept having to ask Kyle. “Are we telling Hallie about the PC thing this session? When do we do this?”

Hallie

God!

Emily

[Giggles.]

Ari (as A.Lex)

Sorry, I just want to get a full profile of you. What is your occupation in this? I just need to make a quick biography here in my notebook. I do that for every people I met and I haven’t met you before.

Kyle (as Sera)

She’s great. Yeah.

Ari (as A.Lex)

Alright. Alright. I can write that.

Hallie

This is a familiar territory for Hopper, somebody being like “what’s your deal, I’m gonna take officious notes.” This is something he’s comfortable with. And then B, Sera just said he’s great, so he perks up a little bit.

Kyle

[Smiling.] I definitely said “she’s great” in relationship to A.Lex, but everyone heard “he’s,” so we’re rolling with it.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Mother fucker! That just… No! Delete it. Delete everything I’ve ever said.

Tom

I also heard “he.”

Hallie

Thank you, Tom!

Ari

I also heard “he.”

Hallie

Thank you!

Ari

A.Lex wouldn’t have been like “I’ll write that!” Well, actually she would. She would write that she is great.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

That’s why I was like, this feels in keeping-

Kyle

Write that down. Just sends a paper airplane to some random woman in the corner of the room. Hop’s like—

Ari

No, please, it’s gonna be to Madeline. “Sera said I’m great,” and just send it.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

That’s what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, to Hop it would look like you just wrote down a note and threw it to some random woman in the room.

Ari

Oh yeah.

Olivia

That is what—It looks like that because that’s what it is.

Kyle

Anyways. “He’s great” is what she says and Hop perks up.

Ari (as A.Lex)

No-no, it’s his friend, uh… Sack, is it? Shack? That has spiders.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Xoc.

Ari (as A.Lex)

Xoc.

Hallie (as Hopper)

My friend Xoc.

Olivia

Zack?

Kyle

[Laughing.] Zack?

Olivia

Yes.

Hallie

Zack!

Kyle

Everyone thinks his name is Zack from this point on.

Olivia

No one respect him enough to say it right. Nobody do it. Bully. Bully Xoc.

Kyle

Our good friend Zane.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Billy Zane!

Tom

I didn’t think this would be the point where it gets truly derailed. I didn’t think this is the point where we just jump the tracks.

Cassidy

[Sighs, recovering.] Oh… yeah.

Kyle

Moments before Hop can successfully teleport everyone away. We’re so close.

Cassidy

Guys, spiders, let’s focus.

[Laughter.]

Olivia

Right. I explain to everyone—everyone I’m meeting for the first time—this is a seatbelt, and it’s just sort of a three-point contact system. It just keeps you in the event of a car accident.

Hallie

Hopper loves the safety demonstration. He loves it so much.

Olivia

Yeah! Yeah, see. Hannelore, it’s like airline attendants, whenever someone is making eye contact with them during their presentation they’re just really feeding on it. So Hannelore just explains everything.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah, and the lights, I can do floodlights like if it’s really dark. No eating, please.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

No feet on the dash.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

No, no feet on the dash. Clean shoes. I feel like there was something else, but I’ll remember it eventually.

Ari (as A.Lex)

I have all of your rules written down on this notebook about your car safety rules if you wanna read it on the ride.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Please! Please.

Ari

And she gives it to Hopper.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I would love to.

Hallie

He says, with the utmost genuineness in his voice.

Hallie (as Hopper)

I’m really interested in the kinds of things the Brackleberry Brigade have done. You have to… I would love to hear about it after all of this.

Hallie

Then he’ll turn to make eye contact with Eraf.

Hallie (as Hopper)

You have to tell me about the revolution at Qi.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

I absolutely will.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yes!

Ari (as A.Lex)

I have a notebook where I have all of the important Qi things, about the revolution, if you want it!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Would you be willing?

Ari (as A.Lex)

Oh, of course. I write this not only for me but also for people interested enough to read it. I also wrote multiple copies.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Here, I’ll just loan you my copy. It’s fine. It’s fine.

[Laughter.]

Ari (as A.Lex)

Yeah, I wrote multiple copies. It’s not the only one.

Cassidy

We all have signed copies. Yeah, it’s great.

Kyle

Hand-wrote each one, too.

Olivia

I also am very curious to know what Eraf is hiding.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Cassidy

This is just the recent exploits.

Olivia

Yeah, there’s volumes and volumes and volumes.

Tom

Did I ever mention that we played the session where this plan was actually formed and everything happened a week before I finished editing The Cookie Three? And I was late on that. So there was just no plan for me running into my own future actions in the past at the end of The Cookie Three. I got to, like, Hopper appears with the strong-glass staff and thought “what the fuck?”

Hallie

Because that was like a year ago.

Tom

It was so long ago.

Hallie

That we filmed that. and we… yeah.

Tom

And I would have just run into that.

Hallie

And you still didn’t know that was what you had to do. We all just sipped our tea and waited for him to come to the only conclusion.

Tom

I will remember this roll for years afterwards, this most quintessentially Hallie moment, that in and out of character you awkwardly chugged some punch which you yourself had made to be spiked in a game that you ran, and you only had a one-in-five chance of getting it, and Kyle spitefully made it the low numbers, and you rolled that.

Hallie

[Inhales.] It’s… It’s… How dare you call that a quintessentially Hallie moment. I don’t disagree with you, I’m just mad about it.

Tom

That’s fair.

Hallie

This is the worst.

Kyle

Alright, so that, as expected, went quite a bit longer than expected.

Tom

Eh.

Kyle

But that’s fine. If this is a long episode, that’s fine, and also I can cut probably two thirds of that. [Laughs.]

[01:50:00]

Tom

That’s the Cookie Crew experience. “We can probably cut this.”