Ep. 80: The Obsidian Cloud, Part 7

Kyle

Previously on Quest Friends…

[Intro song begins, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound.]

Tom (as Xoc)

The shield keeps some things out. Mostly we used it to keep dangerous weather from affecting the buildings and people inside.

Ari

Is there any way to incorporate Redd’s Blessing somehow into this shield? Somehow? I don't know.

Kyle (as Mayra)

Yes-yes, you definitely could create something to sever the connection.

Kyle (as Jaykell)

The generator is… It won’t work forever. You need an army protecting this place while you’re gone.

Hallie (as Ness)

Alright. Alright. Let’s get back on track. I’m the lieutenant for the foreseeable future, because… because.

Tom (as Xoc)

You are your own hero, Ness, and I know you can do really great things.

Hallie (as Ness)

Whatcha got there?

Kyle (as Soe)

The Mauve & Mako pins. They should help us stay in touch with everyone else.

Ari

[Pained.] No…

Kyle

Because each group has their own lieutenant.

It just flips over…

Hallie

No!

Kyle

…further catapulting you, and you kind of skid across the ground a little bit. You hear a little tinkling of glass.

Because inside of this jar is one of the discontinued glass spiders you saw.

And that’s when the generator explodes.

Hallie

Oh…

[Intro music swells and carries into the episode.]

Kyle

Everyone take 1 XP for this GM Intrusion.

Ari

[Gasps.]

Hallie

[Excitedly.] XP! XP! XP! XP!

Ari

Ooh, 1 XP?

Hallie

It’s mine!

Kyle

So, about a turn or two ago I described Tready throwing Ness and there being a little tinkling of glass, and that’s because, as Ness skidded on the ground, he knocked into the glass jar holding the little Apocrita spider.

[Music box music begins.]

Hallie

Oh…

Kyle

While Ness and Tready fought, the spider climbed its way up the big, big stepladder steps. The spider made its way inside of the fully-functioning generator, pulled a thing or two, and in a colorful explosion of multicolor light the generator exploded. I need you to roll defense, Hallie.

Olivia

Pretty upset. I’ve been upset several times and here I am again.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Gonna be a 7.

Kyle

You take 10 damage.

Hallie

Ow!

Olivia

Jesus!

Hallie

Okay, Ness is down to 0 in two pools.

Emily

[Gasps.] What?!

Hallie

Because I used so much Effort.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

I need everyone else, including Ness, to roll a defense of your choice.

Ari

Ooh, okay.

Olivia

What do you mean a defense of my choice?

Kyle

It can be Intellect. It can be Speed. It can be Might.

Olivia

Oh, okay.

Kyle

Because the idea is you have more points to spend for Effort if you want another pool.

Cassidy

And you can pick which Effort, yeah. I’m gonna spend 1 Effort in Intellect. [Rolls.]

Olivia

I’m gonna spend 3 Effort in Might. [Rolls.]

Ari

I’m gonna spend no Effort and roll Might. Let’s see.

[Rolls.] It’s a 10.

Emily

[Rolls.] I got a 16, but I didn’t think to spend Effort.

Kyle

What did you get, Eraf?

Cassidy

A 2.

Hallie

God! No!

Ari

Oh no.

Emily

Eraf is dead!

Kyle

What did you get, Olivia?

Olivia

I got an 11, but I used 3 Effort in Might.

Kyle

And Ness, what did you roll?

Hallie

[Rolls.] Well that one’s a 17, governor.

Olivia

[Laughs.]

Emily

Woo.

Kyle

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

So quite a few things happen at once, probably over the course of ten seconds, but it feels about as long as it’s gonna take me to describe it.

[Sci-fi explosion SFX.]

The generator explodes in a light explosion that levels all of the soldiers around you, including the Tready. Ness is knocked to the ground with the explosion and Sera is launched off of the elevator directly next to it. That’s not the concerning part.

[Oppressive evil music begins.]

As the light of the explosion fades, you notice that there isn’t much light left at all as the barrier protecting the Weal slowly starts to disintegrate allowing hundreds of thousands of spiders to start pouring into the Weal.

Hannelore, you are able to dodge them with the help of Jimmy and the car. Ig, Vespari pulls up a quick barrier to kind of umbrella you and shelter you. Ness, the explosion around you is still leaving residual effects from Redd’s Blessing preventing things from living around you, obsidian soldiers. However, Eraf, with nothing to protect you, a spider gets on you…

Cassidy

Oh god.

Kyle

…and buries its way in.

Ari

What?! Oh my god. What?

Hallie

Nooo! Nooo!

Emily

What?!

Olivia

[Uneasy.] Wha…?

Hallie

What the fuck?

Kyle

And A.Lex, standing by the door, you aren’t able to notice as spiders start to creep out from under it, and one gets under you and bites you as well.

[00:05:00]

[Assorted distraught shouting.]

Ari

Oh my god. Oh no.

Kyle

From this point on, for every spider that bites you, every single action you take is going to be 1 step harder.

Ari

Oh boy. Okay.

Kyle

But you aren’t the only ones in this fight, are you?

Hallie

Oh no.

Kyle

[Rolls.]

Emily

Kyle, if you kill my daughter…

[Laughter.]

Olivia

This is crazy!

Cassidy

There are chest-high barriers, Kyle.

Emily

I mean, I have like seven daughters here, but if you kill my daughter…

Olivia

You’re acting like the chest-high barriers weren’t even built!

[Laughter.]

Cassidy

Tom explicitly asked for the chest-high barriers.

Olivia

Do they mean nothing to you? At least one of them could have a sealing feature.

Kyle

Ig, you hear a…

Kyle (as Rockryan)

OW!

Kyle

…as Rockryan, who is too focused on the fossils to respond, gets bitten by one of the spiders.

Emily

[Gasps.]

Kyle

Eraf, you see as Jesse instinctually turns themselves around to protect Everett from the cloud and gets one buried in their neck.

Cassidy

[Emotional exhale.]

Kyle

Hannelore—

Olivia

No!

Kyle

You can hear from the inside of the Tommy Funbuck float.

Kyle (as Baby Jason)

Hey Viv, what’s going on?! Is everything alright?

Kyle (as Viv)

Of course everything—Agh!

Emily

[Gasps.]

Kyle

As Viv gets bitten by one of the spiders. Ness, you see (whistles) as Chitters flies to the sky to get to Sera and just gets downed on the ground as one of the spiders gets him as well.

Emily

[Huge gasp.]

Hallie

No! No-no-no! No-no-no! No!

Olivia

You’re a monster.

[Music ends.]

Hallie

No! Not Chitters. I didn’t know Chitters was—

Emily

Why are you like this?!

Hallie

Why would you do this?!

Olivia

You’re a monster!

Emily

[Sobbing.] Chitters!

Hallie

I didn’t know Chitters was on the chopping block!

Olivia

That doesn’t even make sense.

Hallie

No!

Emily

Did you just pick the people that we love?

Hallie

[Angry cry-laughs.]

Olivia

Viv, I don’t have as strong a connection to, but I’m really upset about Chitters!

Kyle

[Defiantly calm.] So we’re gonna change things from this point on. We played loose with rounds. We’re going back to one action per round from each of you, because at the end of each round the spiders will get to move again.

Olivia

[Angrily.] You…

Kyle

Every time you will have to roll a Level 5 roll to avoid being bitten, although for Eraf and A.Lex that is now a Level 6 roll.

Ari

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

In addition, I will roll a d10 and for whatever number I roll—this time it was four—that number of NPCs based on a randomizer are going to be hit.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

When Xoc was bitten by a single spider he was able to last about two days before he got consumed, and you think that the Quest Friends, if they’re able to stop the Apocrita, will be able to stop the effects of this. However, you have no idea how quickly someone will get consumed if more than one spider gets them.

Emily

[Exhales.] This is not okay.

Olivia

No, it isn’t okay. I was… ugh, pretty upset.

Kyle

Eraf, it is your turn.

Cassidy

Why would you do this to me?

Olivia

Good luck, buddy.

Cassidy

I don’t want to do this.

Kyle

You don’t have an action yet.

Cassidy

Uh-huh. Great.

Kyle

There’s nothing much you can do, yet.

Cassidy

[Smiling, sarcastic.] Yeah.

Kyle

But how do you respond to this?

Cassidy

Well, I’m definitely tapping my mic, and I did see Jesse get bit…

Kyle

Yeah.

Cassidy

…so, I once again will defer to Don.

[Tense action music begins.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Don! Jesse and I have been compromised and we  need to evacuate now. They’re coming, and I don’t know how much longer I can last. Get everyone out as quickly as you can.

Kyle (as Don)

I’ll give you all the time you need, kid.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Ten minutes?

Emily

[Laughs.]

Cassidy

[Loses it laughing.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Sorry, asking too much, right?

Kyle (as Don)

I don't think we’re gonna last ten minutes.

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Oh my god.

Kyle

So, you run…

Cassidy

Mm-hmm.

Kyle

…and I need you to roll me two Speed defense.

Hallie

God.

Cassidy

Two rolls?

Kyle

Two rolls of Speed defense, yes.

Olivia

Oh my gosh.

Cassidy

Okay…

Emily

I have a really quick question for the sake of all of us.

[Music ends.]

Can we do an immediate recovery?

Kyle

That takes one action. I will let you all take one action as a sign of mercy.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

So everyone, roll a d6 and add that +3 to your pools.

Ari

Oh! Okay.

Cassidy

[Chuckles.]

Emily

Thank the lord.

Olivia

[Rolls.] I got 6!

Cassidy

[Astonished.] Oh, I got a 6.

Emily

Oh thank goodness.

Olivia

Yay! Praise be.

Hallie

[Rolls, it tumbles away.] Oh Christ. Ugh… 5, okay.

Olivia

My Might is back up to full. I experienced no consequences. Apology accepted once again. I assume my 54 points are sterling once more.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari

Well, actually… Hmm. Can I actually not roll it yet? Because I actually don’t—I am not that low on anything, so that might be a mistake.

Olivia

[Laughs.]

Hallie

[Laughing.] Fuck you!

Ari

Can I save it for later?

Hallie

As a treat.

Kyle

Alright Cassidy.

Cassidy

Yeah, I have nothing to do, so can I use my XP to succeed in one or both of those Speed rolls?

Kyle

You need 2 XP to succeed, 1 XP just counts as free Effort.

Cassidy

[Exhales.] Balls.

Olivia

Can I give her mine?

Kyle

Yeah. If you want to exchange XP, I will let it happen.

Olivia

Okay. It’s yours, man.

Cassidy

[Chuckling.] Okay. I’ll use an XP to succeed one speed roll, or both if you have mercy.

Kyle

Roll for the other one.

Cassidy

Yeah. I’ll spend 1 Effort since it’ll only cost me 1 Speed. I can afford that right now.

[00:10:00]

Olivia

You can do it. You can do it.

Cassidy

Speed roll defense!

[Rolls.] Phew, 18, with 1 Effort.

Olivia

[Relieved.] Okay. Okay. Okay. Woo!

Cassidy

We’re good.

Kyle

You start running, probably to grab I’m assuming Jesse and get out with them.

Cassidy

Yup.

[Scary ambient music begins.]

Kyle

As you start running the pool of glass, which is very wide at this point, of Mauve and all the other soldiers starts to congeal together and a Mauve rises in front of you.

Cassidy

As it does.

Kyle

But this time you’re ready and you jump out of the way as she stabs. But you hear Don say…

Kyle (as Don)

Watch out!

Kyle

…and you notice behind you another Obsidian Mauve.

Cassidy

[Gasps.]

Kyle

A shadow of her, almost, stabs at you as well.

Cassidy

[Chuckling.] Oh my gosh. Yeah?

Kyle

So, Phase 2 of Mauve is that there are two of her and she’s no longer running around. There’s this pool of glass and she can just—

Cassidy

Just move wherever she wants. Yeah.

Kyle

Yeah. In fact, both of them submerge back into the glass.

Olivia

Ugh.

Cassidy

Gotcha.

Kyle

You have one action you can take.

Cassidy

I have one action I can take. Ooh…

Olivia

You’re all hale and hardy now.

Cassidy

Totally, yeah. Definitely not at half my Might.

Emily

[Hopeful.] But you have, you have, you have enough Might to have a shadow?

Cassidy

I do have enough Might to have a shadow.

Emily

[Sobbing.] Can it take all the hits?

Cassidy

It has 15 health.

Emily

[Sobbing.] Can it take the other spiders?

Olivia

Can you wear it like a body morph suit?

Hallie

Ha!

Cassidy

I probably could.

Emily

[Amazed.] Oh…

Cassidy

[Dragged out.] Um…

[Others chuckle.]

I’m going to summon my duplicate.

Kyle

Okay.

Cassidy

It’s predictable as you can get, but…

Kyle

You run and the duplicate emerges behind you, running just as fiercely.

Cassidy

I need it. Yep.

Kyle

A.Lex, how do you respond to getting bitten by a spider?

[Music ends.]

Ari

Okay. Well, so… at first she’s just standing all cockily, like oh yeah we got this, and then she feels the bite and realizes, like, oh I done fucked up, but that’s just like a momentary, like, she opened her eyes wide, like oh no, but then she knows that she can’t panic because she’s the leader of this team and if she panics everybody can panic, as she knows in other war situations she has been in. So instead she’s just gonna be like:

[Out-of-tune “inspirational patriotic” music begins.]

Ari (as A.Lex)

Alright. Alright! We got this. We’re winning here. Our defenses are great. We’re gonna… We’re gonna win.

Ari

Then I’m going to use this enabler called Rally On Me where if you’re brave in the face of adversity and requires an assurance that one’s defenses are sound, you or a creature within short range gains an asset to one defense roll within the next round.

[Music ends.]

It costs 2 Intellect points, but for each additional Intellect point you can provide an asset to one additional creature, and I want to spend at least 5, so like one for me because it costs 2 for me and then for three other NPCs, whichever are near her field of vision. She makes eye contact with them and be like “alright, we got this,” just to keep them not scared about this so that maybe they will be braver.

Kyle

I will give it to L’Adrien, Cecilos, and CK.

Ari

Alright.

Kyle

Because I feel like those three see the most action.

Ari

Okay, sounds good.

[Threatening ambience begins.]

Kyle

While you’re giving that speech and everyone’s like “yeah, I feel pretty confident,” you hear it again.

[Knocks.] But louder.

[Knocks.] And louder.

[Bangs on his desk.]

Ari

She’s gonna increase her speech, her tone of voice, to kinda drown that sound, and then if there’s spiders coming in she’s gonna tell people:

Ari (as A.Lex)

Alright. This is how we practiced. This is what the airplanes are for.

Ari

And then just start firing them if there’s any spiders that seem to be close to the vicinity.

Kyle

CK pulls out six.

Kyle (as CK)

Absolutely…! What spiders, though?

Kyle

You see that the spiders have disappeared, have faded back, and instead the glass of the obsidian soldiers, the ones from Obsidian Bay you defeated, are sliding out through the door instead. As they keep sliding, the knocking gets louder and louder.

[Bangs on his desk.] And as the last shard of glass slides through you hear a—

[Pounding SFX amplifies, followed up by a smashed door.]

As a giant obsidian hand breaks through the door on your right, breaks through the door on the left, and you hear the creaking of the metal as the door is not pushed forward against you but instead is pulled off of its hinges backwards.

You turn around to see it. You notice the shards going up what used to be Marv’s body, and they seem to be shaking a little bit. This is less secure. It looks less like the image of someone who’s in the cloud but instead the memory of someone else. It doesn’t seem as stable, but that only makes it all the more horrifying. It climbs up and it makes a gauntlet on one hand, a gauntlet on the other, and you see a horned helmet appear at the top.

[00:15:00]

Ari

Oh Jesus. Why?

Kyle

Emblazoned with the initials of the only person who knew door knocks well enough to pull that off…

Hallie

Ha!

Ari

No~!

Kyle

…a T and a J.

Ari

Oh my god! I was wondering. Oh no!

Hallie

[Squeaks in delight.]

Kyle

I need you to roll Intellect defense.

Ari

Oh no! Okay, I want to spend 1 level of Effort on this, because I have 1 Edge.

Kyle

Alright, so it balances it out.

Ari

[Rolls.] Just 1. I rolled a 7.

Kyle

[Exhales.]

[Understated evil electronic music begins.]

This weird shapeshifting thing—it’s not shapeshifting, but this weird pulsating thing—illuminated by just the torrent of spiders around it which obscures it, making it even all the more terrifying, fills you with absolute dread.

Ari

Oh no.

Kyle

It doesn’t affect you, but any time you fail this fear roll all of his stats increase tenfold.

Ari

Oh my god. What?! Why are you doing this?

Kyle

I will let you make an action. I think he has made his action for this turn.

Ari

Oh… okay. Well, she’s still gonna pretend that everything is fine. She’s gonna try to pretend as much as she can that she doesn’t care, that she’s just not intimidated by this man.

Hallie

[Laughing, pained.] Oh god.

Ari

It’s fine. Madeline wouldn’t like her to look scared at this thing. So, she’s just gonna try and… I don't know how much ammo I have, because we never discussed this, but maybe a point-blank shot with my dual gun to him. Maybe that would do something.

Olivia

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Yeah, give me a roll. Give me a roll for a point-blank shot.

Olivia

[Smiling.] You shot him in the side. Yes, he yields.

Ari

[Smiling.] Yes, he yields!

[Rolls.] Except no, because I rolled a 1.

[Music ends.]

Olivia

[Gasps.]

Hallie

Nooo! He was three feet in front of you! How could you miss?!

Olivia

Is this where it gets me?

Kyle

You reach out to pull at the figure…

Ari

It’s just shaking. She’s pretending that nothing is bad, but she’s just shaking.

Emily

[Whines.]

Kyle

…and the figure grabs your gun, and we just hear a sheering of metal as the gun is crumpled into a tiny metal ball.

Ari

No… Oh… Fine.

Kyle

Hannelore, you are on the beach. Jimmy is trying to race back and forth. I assume you put up protections for the Red Mary, like “put the hood back on.”

Olivia

[Laughing.] Yep! Yep-yep. You read my mind.

Kyle

[Car locking beep.]

Olivia

Yeah, I’m just gonna close it up, forming a barrier so that we’re still a boat but it’s a solid-top boat.

Kyle

Okay. Right now you are not protected by that. You are still in Jimmy’s convertible.

Olivia

Okay.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. There, there, there.

Olivia

I’m gonna signal to Viv and anyone else who is not in a closed apparatus to… “all aboard!”

Kyle

Alright. Everyone starts racing towards that. Viv and Baby Jason actually don’t because they are in the Tommy Funbuck float which is enclosed it just happened to get through a little slit in the top.

Olivia

Okay. Can I get to them?

Kyle

Yeah. You’re driving towards them, but suddenly the float stops.

[Apocalyptic action music begins.]

You notice glass wrapping around it starting to form a fist around the giant leg of this float.

Olivia

[Gasps.] NO! No, no, no. No, no, no!

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Get me in there. Get me in there, Jimmy.

Kyle

Because, as I mentioned at the beginning of last session, when you were inside of the Weal you couldn’t connect to the cloud, but there’s nothing stopping that from happening now. So, all of the soldiers that had fallen on the ground, all of their glass starts to congeal, and what I can only call a kaiju-sized Sue Strongarm, multiple stories tall, raises from the sea. Her Level is 6, her Armor is unknown, her Health is unknown, and her damage is she kills cars.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

[Grunts confidently.] That’s fine. Okay, so did you say that it was consuming the float?

[Music ends.]

Kyle

It wasn’t consuming the float, it was just a big fist had grabbed it.

Olivia

Okay.

Kyle

Now it’s let go as the fist kind of used the float to pull out the body of Sue, but now this giant three-story-tall Sue is just standing there.

Olivia

I can get to the float though?

Kyle

Yes.

Olivia

Okay.

[Action music begins.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Jimmy, go to the Red Mary. Just drop me off here. Corner is fine. I gotta go in there. I gotta get the spider thing out of Viv.

Kyle

Okay. Jimmy drops you off on the beach right next to the leg.

Olivia

Five stars.

Kyle

This float, mind you, is about two stories tall. You wanna start climbing up it?

Olivia

[Smiling.] I do! I am so good at climbing. I’m so good at climbing! It’s the only thing I know that I know how to do. I do it!

Kyle

Give me a roll. I’m gonna say this is a Level 4 difficulty.

Olivia

Okay. I think that I do something where I put the Level down lower when it is climbing. Yeah, I’m trained in climbing.

Kyle

Okay. Yeah, it’s 1 Level, so it will be Level 3, so you have to roll a 9 or higher.

Olivia

Okay.

[Rolls.] I got a 9!

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Sick! [Exasperated sounds.]

Cassidy

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

Sea spraying, you start climbing your way up and you hear Viv and Baby Jason saying:

[00:20:00]

Kyle (as Viv)

Hey! What are you doing climbing up the float? It’s dangerous here.

Olivia

I put my wrench in my mouth to climb up.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Then I’m gonna point to Viv.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

We’re gonna get that bug out of your arm and we’re gonna crash that kaiju.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

It’s around your wrench. [Laughs, mumbles.]

[Music ends.]

Olivia

[Mumbles.] In my mouth. I say it as I (huff with effort).

Kyle

Alright. Ig, it’s not that bad for you because as Vespari keeps his shield up he’s put a kind of barrier up with the silver metal. Sunny and Mayra from the Ring of Power right next to you are like:

Kyle (as Mayra)

Is everyone alright? Is everything okay?

Kyle (as Rockryan)

Ugh, I’ll live.

Kyle

Rockryan says, nursing his wound more than he normally does.

Kyle (as Sunny)

Ooh, if we all get inside we can potentially make an ice barrier to protect everyone. Everyone, please come in now.

Emily

Does everyone go?

Kyle

Do you go?

Emily

Um… Holding Vespari’s hand and grabbing the hand of Rockryan, Ig is gonna try to pull them inside.

Kyle

Aw.

Kyle (as Sunny)

Is that everyone?

Kyle (as Mayra)

Yes. Yes, I think everyone is in there. I—

[Tender, tragic piano music begins.]

Kyle

And Mayra freezes for a moment, because TJ isn’t the only memory soldier that is there. As Mayra and Sunny look, they can see the glass reassemble itself into a vague silhouetted shape, one that exists only from vague memories, but one that looks like them… or how they used to be. The Professor rises.

Ari

Oh… weird.

Kyle

What do you do in response)

Emily

Ig is gonna look at Sunny and Mayra, because sometimes Ig notices things.

Emily (as Ig)

Are you okay?

Kyle (as Mayra)

[Quiet, shakily.] No, no-no-no,  not again. Not again. Never again!

[Crackling electricity SFX.]

Kyle

You can see a beam of lightning start to emerge from the Ring of Power and it shoots out at The Professor. You know how every character is kind of an enhanced version of what came before?

Emily

Oh no.

Kyle

Mako protected himself and nullified against those attacks, but as any Persona player will tell you, the only thing worse than that is when they reflect the attack.

Hallie & Ari

Oh Jesus.

[Lightning reverses SFX.]

Kyle

The lightning wraps itself around the silhouette of The Professor and launches itself back at Sunny and Mayra who are thrown to the far wall of the Ring of Power.

Ness.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

It’s barren where you are. There aren’t any soldiers. No one has risen yet. There’s just the mist of the colorful explosion and the rain of the spiders.

Hallie

Don’t like that.

Kyle

While the soldiers aren’t back up, the spiders are starting to move again.

Hallie

Okay. Ness does not like spiders. He’s not a fan of hordes of insects closing in on him. The spiders, are they automatically hostile? Would you consider that, or are they just… there?

Kyle

They do attack and bite people, so I would consider them automatically hostile, yes.

Hallie

Well… fuck.

Kyle

I’m sorry. I want to let you use that ability, but they are automatically hostile.

Hallie

I know. I know.

Kyle

They are there to consume you.

Hallie

I didn’t see that fine print when I…

Kyle

They think they’re your friend.

Hallie

You know what, I’m gonna use Encouragement, which while I maintain this ability through ongoing inspiring oration my allies within a short range modify the difficulty of one of the following task types: defense, attack, or tasks related to any skill they are trained or specialized in. This is just a general “don’t get bit by the spiders” type of thing. That’s what I want. So the next time you roll I want the ones in my immediate vicinity, who I’m talking to, to be that much safer.

Kyle

Yeah. If anyone in your vicinity gets picked by the randomizer, I will then roll a d20 for a 50/50 chance of whether or not they get bitten.

Hallie

Okay. For my squad, then, Ness is just gonna back up a little bit, as much inside the circle of residual flame that he can that is protecting him for the time being, and then be like:

[Rain and howling music SFX begins.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey, uh… Lieutenant Ness, here. Lieutenant Ness just checking in on everybody. There are a lot of spiders, and spiders are crushed really, really easily. You can just crush them, okay? Is anybody around to do the crushing? To do… You can do it!

Hallie

It’s just thinly veiled panic while he tries to get in touch with anybody and yell about how these spiders can be deflected, almost as if he’s trying to convince himself.

Kyle

Yeah. You hear some affirmations. You hear Soe say…

Kyle (as Soe)

Okay! I got it.

Kyle

…and Cart goes…

Kyle (as Cart)

Aye-aye, lieutenant!

Kyle

…but you hear one last thing before your turn ends. You hear Rei say:

Kyle (as Rei)

Ness, is Sera with you? Is she alright?

Kyle

I need everyone to roll defense again.

[SFX ends.]

Ari

[Uneasy.] Okay.

Cassidy

Any defense, right? Hmm…

[00:25:00]

Kyle

Any defense you want. It’s gonna be a Level 5 roll for everyone except for Eraf and A.Lex who it is a Level 6 roll.

Ari

Yeah… I’m spending 1 level of Effort.

Cassidy

Same.

Hallie

I am also going to do that. Actually, I’m gonna do 2 levels.

Emily

I would like to spend a level of Effort.

Olivia

[Rolls.] I spent nothing and I rolled a 1.

Cassidy

Oh no.

Hallie

[Laughing.] Olivia, no!

Ari

[Rolls.] Ooh, a 13. Maybe, just maybe.

Cassidy

[Rolls.] I got a 14.

Hallie

[Rolls.] I put in 2 levels of Effort and I rolled a 9.

Emily

[Rolls.] I put in 1 Effort but I rolled a 3. So, are we all gonna be…?

Kyle

Everyone except for Ness gets bitten by a spider.

Emily

[Gasps.]

Hallie

Jesus Christ!

Cassidy

That’s cool.

Hallie

Jesus Christ!

Kyle

So Ig, everything is 1 step harder. Hannelore, everything is 1 step harder. Eraf and A.Lex, everything is now 2 steps harder.

Ari

Yeah, that’s fine.

Kyle

There’s no guarantee you’ll make it… We don’t know how long you’ll make it now.

Ari

Yep, that’s fine.

Kyle

But, in addition…

[Rolls.] Eight NPCs.

Emily

[Indignant.] Eight?!

Ari

Oh no.

Hallie

What?!

Cassidy

That better all be on my team. We’re just all going down.

Olivia

I closed the cap, so they better none be on my team.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I need to roll for any of the ones that are protected, so give me a second.

Olivia

What? Huh?

Hallie

I used Encouragement to offer them an extra protection.

Ari

I mean I semi-did, but I don't know if that ended with my round.

Olivia

I’m about to be mad. This is what happens.

Kyle

Alright, so I’m gonna roll for Horus… and that’s it. That’s the only one that’s got some protection. [Rolls.]

Emily

That’s the only one that has protection?!

Olivia

Everyone is inside? Everyone is all covered?

Cassidy

Everybody else wasn’t in those groups.

Kyle

Horus rolled a 12, so Horus is fine.

Cassidy

My 14 with Effort was not fine? Ugh.

Olivia

You also were already bitten, maybe?

Cassidy

Scrubbed. I know. [Chuckles.]

[Scary, tragic music begins.]

Kyle

You run to get to Jesse, Eraf, and so does everyone else, but you start seeing them drop like flies.

Cassidy

[Emotional exhale.]

Kyle

Gabby, Everett, the blood barms, all get hit.

Cassidy

[Laughing.] How?

Kyle

And Viola, trying to protect Everett, gets hit as well.

Emily

[Weakly.] Viola’s a little tiny thimble robot…

Kyle

At that point you think “at least I’ve got Don.”

Hallie

No~!

Kyle

And Don, racing towards you, gets hit by a spider as well.

Olivia

Fuck off, man. Fuck off!

Kyle

Finally, in addition to all of those, two more people get hit.

Ari

Oh…

Cassidy

Oh no…

Kyle

Fungi, who kind of got lost on his way back, gets hit by one of the spiders. He doesn’t seem too upset by it, but he starts slowing down with his walk immediately afterwards. But Hannelore, as you get to the top of the float and are about to jump in, you see another spider beat you there… and Viv gets bitten again.

Olivia

Oh my gosh! I’m there. I’m there to help.

Kyle

Eraf, it is your turn.

Cassidy

It is.

Kyle

You have a pool of glass around you that you know is hiding two Mauves.

Cassidy

Yeah.

Kyle

And I believe everyone in your team except for Q-BO has been bitten.

Olivia

[Exasperated sounds.]

Cassidy

June hasn’t been bitten.

Kyle

June hasn’t been bitten either.

Cassidy

Nor has Centaur-taur.

Olivia

[Bangs on her desk, strained.] What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?!

Cassidy

Buddy, I got more on my team. I got more.

Olivia

Oh my goodness.

Kyle

Most of your team has been bitten.

Cassidy

Yeah. [Chuckles.]

Olivia

I am in despair!

Cassidy

So there’s just a switch in Eraf’s head that flips from survival to “okay, we’re probably gonna go down here, so let’s go down fighting.” The bag of oddities was ripped open, correct? That Jesse had.

Kyle

Yes. Just a bunch of random oddities.

Cassidy

Just a bunch of random oddities. That’s perfect for being unpredictable.

[Laughs.] So… Eraf would like to try to draw fire by being predictable and use one of her Intellect attacks called Coordinated Effort. When you and your duplicate would attack the same creature you can choose to make one attack roll with an asset. If you hit you inflict damage with both attacks and treat the attacks as if one attack for the purpose of subtracting Armor from the damage.

So we’re going to strike at the pool of glass with a counterattack while she instructs her NPC army to pick up the oddities and use whatever they can as a weapon.

Kyle

Okay. Give me a roll to do the attack.

Cassidy

[Long uneasy groan. Rolls.] Ugh, 6.

[Music changes to threatening ambience.]

Kyle

You shoot psychic energy down, but it’s just bouncing back at you.

Cassidy

Yeah.

Kyle

But, you do successfully get the attention. You see one Mauve almost cockily rise in front of you and the other rise behind you. I need you to roll two Speed defense.

Cassidy

Yup.

Olivia

Oh my god.

Cassidy

Oh…

[Rolls.] There’s a 13.

[Rolls.] And there’s an 8.

Kyle

You get stabbed in the front and stabbed in the back each for 6 points of damage.

Hallie

[Breathless.] God! Jesus!

Cassidy

[Gasps.]

Ari

Jesus.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

So 12 damage total.

Hallie

No!

Cassidy

[Laughing.] I’m at 5.

Emily

Remember what we talked about, about how we don’t kill the Cookie Crew because that’s really sad and we don’t want it to be, like…

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Because that’s just, like, unnecessary, man.

Olivia

Just because we’re just a force for good and positive relations across worlds and baking!

[00:30:00]

Ari

Also, as a reminder, this would all be on Hopper Scotch’s hands.

Hallie

No! Oh my fucking god!

[Laughter.]

Olivia

Wow! Fuck that guy!

Hallie

Oh my fucking god. This would be Hopper’s fault for bringing them. Oh nooo!

Cassidy

Classmate, why have you done this to me?

Hallie

[Groaning.] Oh no…

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie

No!

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Oh… Hopper can’t live with these sins on his conscience. This guilt.

Ari

I mean, he already froze a town in place, what’s another one, right?

Hallie

He’s gonna fucking fix it! No! Agh… Christ.

Olivia

I’m glad that our lives are bothering you so much, Hallie.

Hallie

Crepes!

Olivia

Because everything that Hannelore has ever built is about to be sunk into the ocean by a kaiju monster.

Cassidy

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

[Groans.]

Kyle

So…

Cassidy (as Eraf)

So everybody grab something from the bag and do something unpredictable.

Kyle (as Don)

Of course. I, uh… [Labored breathing.]

Kyle

Don is trying to do it but he can’t. Everett is just stammering.

Kyle (as Everett)

But, but she… she wouldn’t She would never.

Kyle (as Jesse)

[Weakly.] Everett. Everett…

Kyle

So, only the three characters, Q-BO, June and the Centaur-taur are able to actually do it.

Cassidy

What about Gabby and the blood barms?

Kyle

Gabby was also hit.

Cassidy

Well yeah…

Kyle

[Rolls four times.] 88, 31, 58, and then for your shadow, 59.

Cassidy

What are the numbers for?

Kyle

The oddities.

Cassidy

Oh. Cool.

[Classical action music begins.]

Kyle

So, the shadow, trying to be helpful…

Cassidy

Oh, my shadow isn’t impaired, is it?

Kyle

…picks up a piece of extremely strong and thin cable and wraps it around the Mauve…

Hallie

Garrote!

Kyle

…who strains against it as she tries to sink down into the ground, and eventually the head pops off.

Olivia

[Gasps.] Oh geez. Tight.

Kyle

As the rest of it seems back onto the earth, seemingly unharmed, because all the glass is still there.

Cassidy

Yeah. Bleh.

Kyle

Q-BO picks up a bell and throws it and it causes (BONG), this giant bell that ripples through the glass and seems to disorient it. The Centaur-taur picks up metallic pointed toe boots designed to fit a horse or a similar creature. This was random chance.

Cassidy

What?!

Olivia

Wow!

Cassidy

That’s incredible.

Kyle

And starts prancing over Mauve and actually starts tearing up some of the glass and causing it to shatter.

[Music ends.]

Cassidy

[Laughing.], Good, good, good. It’s all hooves. I was wondering how it picked them up, but… I guess it just slips right into them on its hooves.

Emily

Is this Centaur-taur going gonna end up being the most useful member of your party?

[Laughter.]

Cassidy

I hope so.

Olivia

Four pairs of hands.

Kyle

June picks up her item and she doesn’t throw it for a second.

Cassidy

She throws everything.

Kyle

You think it’s her reflection, because there’s some rough buff lady on the other side.

[Elee’s song plays.]

This is a small mirror that shows someone other than you when you gaze into it, and June has a little confident nod.

Kyle (as June)

They’re almost there. They’ve almost made it. Gotta do the best we can for Zoe.

Kyle

She grabs it and slams it against the glass doing 1 point of damage. It doesn’t do a whole lot.

[Music ends.]

Cassidy

[Grinning.] I’ll take anything at this point.

Kyle

A.Lex.

Ari

Oh boy.

Olivia

Oh my god.

Kyle

Before you do anything, roll me another Int defense for intimidation.

Ari

Okay. This is fine. I’m gonna spend 1 level of Effort again.

[Rolls.] And that was a 7, so yeah.

Olivia

[Grumbles.]

Ari

I’m back to my shitty rolls.

[Rain SFX and threatening ambience begins.]

Kyle

Buffeted by the spiders, this thing is horrifying. It’s nightmarish. This is not war, this is something oddly personal.

Ari

It’s kind of obvious that she looks different from when the battle started, like she’s no longer writing in her notebook. She doesn’t have the mental power to focus on that at the same time or to do speeches, so she’s just like:

Ari (as A.Lex)

Okay. Okay. So, um… that’s fine. We still can make this work, everybody. We should surround this… this soldier, and attack it from different fronts, because if we do… if we do then there might be a chance that we can defeat it. No, there will be a chance, because we are a great team and we’re gonna win this. Right?

Kyle (as CK)

[Hesitantly.] You got that, boss.

Kyle

CK’s voice is absolutely wavering.

Ari

[Grinning.] Oh no. CK is also afraid.

Kyle

Stein isn’t saying anything either. He’s too afraid to speak.

Ari

Oh god. Okay. She’s gonna try and hit it. I don't know how sturdy it is, because I’m trying to think if she can knock it off his feet, like (swish), so he can trip and then it’s easier to hit.

Kyle

Yeah, you can do something to try to push and you can be aided by the NPCs.

Ari

Okay. A.Lex is gonna try and push him from one side and then she’s gonna tell CK to go from above. And then… yeah, maybe Ein and Stein also, and Joe-per too.

[00:35:00]

Ari (as A.Lex)

Push him from the front while CK goes from above. Multiple fronts is always a good strategy to try and crush this thing.

Ari

And then like, kind of… I don't know.

Kyle

They all push, and Joe-per who looks even more muscular this time, but it’s like they’re inflating and deflating. He seems to be trying to amp himself up but is failing and is in many ways looking less like Hopper Scotch and more just like… Joe can’t decide what, but they go to push. Give me a roll to push.

[Music/SFX ends.]

Ari

Okay. Alright. Let’s do this. Let’s do this.

Olivia

Okay! Okay. You got it, bud.

Ari

[Rolls.] That’s a 15. Maybe. Maybe that’s something, maybe.

Olivia

Woo!

Kyle

Nightmare TJ is ten times bigger than normal. You go to push, but this time he’s the unmovable one.

Olivia

[Gasps.]

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle

He does seem bothered by something, though. CK is floating around him, and as if batting at a gnat he eventually grabs CK.

Ari

Oh no. No…

Emily

Oh…

Kyle

There’s a move that Marv was gonna have called Arm Wrestle Me Marv…

Ari

[Whining.] No. No!

Kyle

…where he slams a target into someone else…

Emily

[Gasps.]

Kyle

…causing 6 damage and dazing them and causing 4 damage to the other person.

Ari

[Uneasy groan.]

Kyle

I need you to roll Speed defense as he tries to slam CK into you.

Ari

Oh god.

[Rolls.] That’s an 18! Oh!

Emily

[Yelps.]

Olivia

Yes!

Ari

[Smiling.] I did it. Maybe.

Kyle

Oh, that’s not nearly enough.

Emily

[Gasps indignantly.]

Ari

What?!

Hallie

WHAT?!

Ari

What? Did I need to roll a 20?!

Kyle

Oh no-no-no. I’ll be explicit here. His Level is 10.

Ari

Oh god.

Kyle

And everything is 2 steps harder for you, so that would be a 12, so you would have needed to roll a 36.

Ari

Jesus. What?!

Olivia

Fuck off.

Kyle

CK slams into you, clipping his wings as he scutters to the ground, and causing 4 points of damage to you.

Ari

[Sad.] Oh no… Okay.

Kyle

Hannelore, you’ve made it to the top of the Tommy Funbuck float.

Olivia

Truly, I am at the top of the world looking down at creation.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Salad Raptor waves.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Hi Salad Raptor.

Kyle

He doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

Olivia

No, no, no. He’s just opened up a porthole.

Hallie

[Squeaking in delight.] He’s lost an arm!

Kyle

Oh shit. Salad Raptor wasn’t on the list. Let me add Salad Raptor to the list of NPCs.

Hallie

No! Why would you do that?!

Olivia

That doesn’t make sense! Salad Raptor can’t be bit. Salad is a machine!

Hallie

[Laugh-sobbing.] He’s a machine!

Olivia

And he’s inside of the closed Red Mary. Kyle, you’re not even making sense when you’re talking right now.

Hallie

[Pinched, losing it.] Spiders don’t like salad so it’s fine!

Olivia

[Laughs.] Hallie.

Emily

Do we need to pause?

Cassidy

I think we broke Hallie.

Olivia

Oh my god.

Kyle

So you’re looking inside, the boat is over there, and I believe—I may have cut this—you wanted to put it underwater, right?

Olivia

Yes. Can I just ask the Red Mary to submerge as a free action?

Kyle

Yeah.

Olivia

Cool.

Kyle

So you see the Red Mary submerge and you’re able to pull up the top hat of the float and you can see inside.

[Tense sci-fi ambience begins.]

Normally you would be distracted by just how gaudy it is, so much weird colorful stuff on the inside.

Olivia

It’s just not my taste.

Kyle

A motivational poster that’s like keep in there but it’s just Tommy Funbuck doing his finger guns and it just says “SWAG” and nothing else.

Olivia

[Laughs.]

Kyle

But, you’re too disoriented by…

Olivia

The bite?

Kyle

Yeah, you’re too disoriented by Baby Jason who seems to be pushing against a Viv that’s still awake but—

Kyle (as Viv)

[Groans weakly.]

Kyle (as Baby Jason)

Come on, Viv! Come on… silly girl. Viv, come on!

Kyle (as Viv)

[Drowsily.] Ah… silly baby boy.

Kyle

And she’s just kind of rolling back and forth, still conscious but not able to do anything.

Olivia

Okay. Thank you for giving me clarity of what I needed to do in this moment. I considered powering up the float so that it would gut-check the kaiju monster, but instead I am going to try to get the spiders out of Viv.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

How are you gonna try to get them out?

Olivia

I have a bunch of tools on me. Are they like raised in her skin like from The Mummy?

Kyle

Yeah, there are little bumps there.

Olivia

Okay. I’m gonna put a leather belt in her mouth.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Look away, Baby Jason. Look away.

Olivia

I’m pulling the top hat down so that we’re in safe comfort and then I’m just gonna try to cut them out of her.

Kyle

Give me a roll.

Olivia

Okay. I want Effort, please. I will take it from my Intellect, and so I’m minusing 3 from Intellect. Does that sound right to everybody?

Kyle

For 1 Effort, yeah.

Olivia

Okay. I’m nailing this.

Kyle

That will bring it back to normal, because everything is normally 1 step harder for you.

Olivia

[Exhales.]

Kyle

I will say this is a Level 6 roll, so you have to get 18 or higher.

Olivia

Okay. I’m gonna add another level of Effort then.

[Rolls. Smooth.] I got a natural 20.

Ari

Ooh~

Hallie

Oh snap!

Olivia

I got a natural 20. I got a natural 20!

Emily

[Yelps excitedly.]

Kyle

Describe how you get them out.

Olivia

Fuck off.

[Mission Impossible-style spy music begins.]

Just like a beautiful figure 8 around the two of them just to minimize damage as much as possible. Pop, crunch. Pop, crunch.

[00:40:00]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Your float, m’lady. Actually, you really should just get your brother and get out of here, but… hi, I’m Hannelore. I don't think we talked a lot.

Kyle (as Viv)

[Groggily.] H-Hey… What?

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I know. Okay, sorry. You’re great. You’re doing great now.

Olivia

Is there like a below deck? If I’m in the top hat right now, could she go into the head or chest?

Kyle

Yeah. Baby Jason, acting as the big brother for the first time…

Hallie

Aww.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

You’re a good boy.

Kyle

…grabs his older sister and just takes her below deck.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

You’re a brave boy, Jason.

Kyle

And as they get below deck, though…

Olivia

Shut up!

Kyle

…you notice that Obsidian Sue hasn’t been doing nothing, and you see an open palm lunge towards the face of the Tommy Funbuck float. I need you to roll Speed or Int defense to pilot this thing successfully.

[Music ends.]

Olivia

[Chuckles.] Okay. I’m trained in all tasks involving electrical machines. I’m gonna use a thing of Effort.

Kyle

I will just tell you, you have to get a 15 or higher.

Olivia

Come on, Sally.

[Rolls.] I got a 13, man. I don’t have anything. I got a 13. I take it on the chin, metaphorically and literally.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

The view of the Tommy Funbuck float is just covered by glass,

[Giant creaking, following by the woosh of water.]

and you hear a WHOOSH as the hand takes the float and it slams it underneath the water.

Ig, what are you gonna do?

Olivia

Like a bully. Like a bully! That’s what you are. You’re bullying me. You’re giving me a swirly, after I just saved…

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily

So, Sunny and Mayra have been tossed from the Ring of Power. Correct?

Kyle

Yeah.

Emily

Ig thinks quickly, and again, not one for plans, but sometimes panic brings clarity.

Emily (as Ig)

Uh… Meeghan? Big brother? Come with me!

Emily

And Ig steps into the Ring of Power.

[Mysterious ethereal music begins.]

Kyle

You are surrounded by the Datasphere, surrounded by unyielding, unending power. It’s honestly a bit much. You can hear so many different voices, so many different patrons that all reach out to you.

Reminder of the way the Ring of Power works. It lets you stretch your abilities past how they normally would, so it’s like using 2 XP but without the auto-succeed. Yeah, what are you gonna do to attack?

Emily

So, here’s the thing. The worry is that they reflect.

Kyle

Mm-hmm.

Emily

So, right now, it feels like regrouping and guarding is the best thing we can do. I brought two characters. I want Meeghan to make us invisible, like all of the people invisible.

Olivia

[Gasps in awe.]

Kyle

Yes, Meeghan turns everyone invisible.

Emily

Okay. I want Meeghan to make everyone invisible. I want big brother to put up as best a shield as he can.

Olivia

Dude… Dude.

Kyle

You are shielded.

Emily

And then, can I also bolster the shield with my Resonance Field?

Kyle

Yes. Describe how that looks.

Emily

Most of Ig’s abilities are fire. The Resonance Field is something just a little bit different. It’s flashy. It’s swirling fiery colors, and it blooms out from the Ring of Power to swirl through Vespari’s glittering silver dome, whatever he makes it look like. As well as they can, Ig is going to try to shield their companions.

Kyle

With 4 levels of assistance, give me a defense roll.

Emily

I would like to put in 2 levels of Effort.

[Rolls.] … I rolled a 1.

[Music ends.]

Ari

Oof.

Olivia

Ugh.

Kyle

You put up this shield. You have the team around you. You had the power of teamwork and some of the greatest nanos in all of The Ninth World.

[Tense, rising sci-fi music begins.]

But they aren’t the greatest nano in The Ninth World. Based on Loell, Aegon, based on his perception, there’s only one person who fits that roll.

The shield crumbles as if it was paper as beams of lightning and power tear it asunder, throwing all of you aside, and as soon as Meeghan is out everyone turns visible. And, as one last action, it takes the shards and it slams Mayra against the wall with one long grasp and spiders, hundreds of them, start pouring out and climbing down, because he isn’t going to mess up this time.

Emily

[Breathing heavily.] NO~!

Ari

Man, we’re so screwed.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Ness, how do you take this all in? You don’t have anyone to fight, but you can see this chaos happening.

[00:45:00]

Hallie

Ness can see everything, and Rei also asked him if he had seen Sera, and he hasn’t, but this helps him remember that he has a jetpack. So, can I just hover above the spiders on the ground with my jetpack?

Kyle

Yeah. You hover above the spiders.

[Tragic music begins.]

You see the door of city hall get ripped off. All of your friends in Powerstand Street just fall into the ground like flies. This giant Tommy Funbuck float hits the ground, and down in the house you can see just ferocious bits of imitation magic. Down laying on the ground, just a few feet away from where you were, you see Sera. I need everyone to roll one more Speed defense, but I don’t care about the spiders this time. I need you to roll defense to survive against the obsidian monsters.

Olivia

We’re all rolling this?

Kyle

Yep, everyone except for Ness.

[Music ends.]

Ari

[Rolls.] That was a 3! A 3…

Olivia

[Rolls.] Fuck. I got a 2.

Ari

Oh boy.

Olivia

[Singing.] Hello from the other side.

Cassidy

[Rolls.] Six?

Ari

Man… this is great.

Olivia

Jesus.

Emily

[Rolls.] Four.

Cassidy

Eh, it was fun while it lasted.

[Threatening, repetitive ambience begins. The rain and the wind get louder.]

Kyle

Ig, you aren’t being attacked, but you can’t do anything as the spiders crawl closer and closer to Mayra, and even Sunny who tries shooting off spells are just getting them bounced back at her.

Eraf, as you are lying there trying to get to everyone else, Mauves start to raise up but now this time there is one for each of you, each with their rapiers poised to attack.

As you look up at this terrifying figure, A.Lex, it reaches down and grabs Joe on one side and Ein on the other and gets ready to smash both of them into you.

Hannelore, you see as the foot of Obsidian Sue rises and gets ready to slam down, destroying the barrier that’s keeping the water out, and as Sue’s foot goes down… something hits it and knocks it to the side.

[Music ends, leaving only the wind.]

It’s the strangest looking thing. It doesn’t look like something that can physically exist. It’s this weird shape that defies gravity and the only description you can have of it is that you know it has three sides.

[Intro theme “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]

And then more start to rain down, knocking into Obsidian Sue and pushing her backwards. You have no idea what this is, but Q-BO, looking to the sky—

Kyle (as Q-BO

[Q-BO search SFX.] Updating my systems.

[Beep-boop.] The left triangles are coming!

Kyle

Out of the sky hundreds of thousands of triangles start raining down on Obsidian Sue. A.Lex, as you’re about to get hit you hear an “OH YEAH!”

Ari

Oh…

Kyle

And the Kool-Aid Man who has been there the entire time barrels into TJ.

Emily

[Delighted.] That’s why you reserved the weirdest characters!

Hallie

[Pinched.] He’s just been standing in the corner!

Kyle

Eraf, you hear the pounding of feet, but they sound different from the blood barms and they have a different chant. You just hear a…

Kyle (as aneens)

Regionals. Regionals!

Everyone

Regionals!

Kyle

…as a bunch of aneens dressed up in athletic wear tear through the street picking up shards of glass. They are followed by this weird coffin on legs that has a tent on top of it, the Penny In Pocket tent, which starts bounding down the street throwing out miscellaneous cyphers including one that will heal you for 15 points of health.

Cassidy

Holy crap.

Kyle

But we aren’t done. We aren’t done by a longshot.

Hannelore, as you’re trying to get your bearings and lift yourself back up again, from the other side of Sue who reaches down to you, you hear a (monstrous clucking), and the Chyrannosaurus, the protector of Russel, a giant t-rex chicken emerges from the sea like motherfucking Godzilla and holds Sue in place on one side.

Olivia

Ba-caw! [Laughs.]

Can I do the rock and roll hand sign on the float as a free action?

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

[Laughs.] Yeah.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Eyy! Fuckin’, eyy.

Kyle

Down the street, one Mauve remains right now above you, Eraf, and she starts to lift up her sword on you, but another creature emerges from the shards as if emerging from a bog, and the bog witch who we met once just wraps herself around the Mauve and unwillingly drags it down into the deep, just whispering.

Kyle (as bog witch)

Murderous hooligans~

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Cassidy

Goodness. Eraf was not prepared for this.

[00:50:00]

Kyle

A.Lex, TJ has been knocked back but he’s getting ready for another hit, and then out of nowhere a brochure flies out, knocks it on the chest, and a shield flies out of nowhere and knocks down TJ’s legs. You hear a character, who I am going to request be voiced by Rob or Jamie from Totalus Rankium, say:

Rob (as Stephen)

It is I, Stephen Rogers, assassin of Numenerica, and I was summoned here by an… Elee Badge?

Emily

[Laughs breathily.]

Ari

Oh my god.

Kyle

This man that no one has seen before but the assassin pamphlet from Roulettia just grabs his steel and starts beating the ever-loving shit out of TJ.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Followed up by a series of little gummies bearing tiny kazoos and the little brand of Dr. Thistle’s Magical Sound start climbing up and tearing off bits and pieces of TJ, removing his armor. Eraf, by this point everything is barren, most of the things are gone, but June isn’t happy with that, and she yells…

Kyle (as June)

Steven! It’s time!

Kyle

…and you hear the revving of an RV as an RV piloted by an inanimate skeleton drives through, tearing up all but a few faint shards of glass.

Cassidy

I love it.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

And finally, Ig. Where you are you don’t need anyone else.

[Rising inspirational music begins.]

Because while Aegon has sent against you who he thinks the most powerful nano in the world is, you actually have the most powerful nano on your side and her patron. And Mayra just repeats:

Kyle (as Mayra)

[Nervously.] No, no, no. Not again.

[Empowered, echoing.] Never again!

Kyle

She takes the spider attack, and following what her image did, reflects it back on The Professor who gets launched back in this explosion that reverberates through the air, and you can feel the Datasphere itself ripple with its effects, so much so that it ripples against the relay which vibrates wits with strength and explodes in a shattering of threads. As each one passes you, you hear different voices and different sounds and different creatures flying out across all of the Weal of Baz.

A.Lex, Hannelore and Ness each take 2 XP.

Olivia

[Gasps.]

Kyle

Eraf and Ig, you don’t need that because you and every other nano around you is now powered by the Ring of Power.

Hallie

Oh~!

Cassidy

[Smiling.] Let’s go.

Emily

Ig is sobbing her eyes out.

[Laughter.]

Cassidy

I’m just glad Eraf has this Might back.

Emily

[Giggling.] He had to give you a healing cypher so you wouldn’t die.

Olivia

[Long exhale.]

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Eraf, you are down on the field. Everyone who has spiders still has them, but the spiders are a lot less powerful with the left triangles forming an impromptu barrier just blocking all of them. You’ve had a lot of weird stuff happen, but the weirdest thing is yet to happen, because as you stand up you can hear a voice just circling around you.

Kyle (as ghost snake)

[Hissing.] Sssnake…

Cassidy

[Chuckling.] What?

[Silly music begins.]

Kyle (as ghost snake)

Sssnaaake…

Cassidy

Does she have a snake on her shoulder?

Kyle

You look around and you don’t see anything.

Kyle (as ghost snake)

You can’t sssee me because I’m straaatic life. I’m a snaaake stratic life, and I’m here to be your patron. Sss…

Kyle

And the sound fades, Eraf, but you can feel this weird power snaking around your hands, and you stand up and you are able to take an action against the last Obsidian Mauve.

[Music ends.]

Cassidy

Alright. Yes, I have snake power in my hands.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

The power of snakes.

Kyle

Essentially you can take your abilities and you can supercharge them.

Cassidy

Yeah. In this case I just want to do an Onslaught because that’s my classic move. Can I make this a Coordinated Effort at the same time?

Kyle

Yeah.

[Witchy magical music begins.]

Cassidy

Okay. So my shadow’s gonna just morph into me and become one.

Olivia

[Impressed and excited growl.]

Cassidy

[Laughs.] Yeah. It’s like a sheen. Not a sheen, but more of like a fog surrounding her that is her shadow as they work together to make a more powerful physical beam come out of her arm that’s psychic energy manifested. Kind of Iron Man style, just puts the hand out.

[00:55:00]

Olivia

Also like with darkness. You know what I mean? Because of your shadow!

Cassidy

Well yeah, yeah.

Olivia

Oh, sick!

Cassidy

So, the intertwining of those things. [Laughs.]

Kyle

You go to do your blast, but before you can a hand raises in front of you and a quiet voice says:

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Everett)

Wait a second. I…

Kyle

And Everett’s eyes stay focused on the shadow.

Kyle (as Everett)

I’m sorry, I…

[Tragic piano music begins.]

I kept wanting to talk to it, wanting to tell it that it was nothing like her, that it didn’t have her warmth and her care and love, and…

Kyle

And he blinks his eyes a few times and this glassy black overcomes them. He just points to a spot in the glass and says:

Kyle (as Everett)

Shoot there. That’s where the strings are.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Give me a roll.

Cassidy

[Rolls.] Let’s go. It’s a 1.

[Laughter.]

Hallie

God, Eraf no!

Emily

What?!

Hallie

You have every advantage.

Emily

Wait! Wait! Wait! Do you have XP? Do you have XP?

Ari

Well you can’t reroll 1s, can you?

Emily

Oh, you can’t reroll 1s? Darn it!

Hallie

You can take 1 of my XP. I have 3!

Olivia

Yeah, seriously. Take one of mine.

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Emily

But you can’t reroll 1s.

Kyle

Eraf, you blast with all of this power, and you put everything into it… but something just isn’t working. It’s walking closer and closer. You know what you’re doing wrong, you don't know what your Onslaught is…

Cassidy

Nope.

[Inspirational action music begins.]

Kyle

But maybe you weren’t the one who was supposed to take it out. As Everett walks away, he stops for a second and says:

Kyle (as Everett)

Ugh. You know what? Fuck it!

Kyle

He grabs a ladle, swings around, and with a single hit knocks down Obsidian Mauve.

A.Lex, you are on a weird fucking battlefield. A Kool-Aid Man just came in and knocked down TJ. A bunch of little gummies bearing advertisements—and you’ve got them all plastered over your skin—start pasting things on there. And oddly enough, the big thing is the spiders. The spiders are gone, and without this façade, this facsimile, you see a little glimpse into who TJ actually was.

Ari

[Smiling.] Oh my god.

Kyle

A Level 1 chump.

Ari

Oh my god.

Kyle

This guy could be blown over with the faintest wind, but I don't think you have that in mind for him. How are you gonna show this man real fear?

Olivia

Shoot him with a gun.

[Music ends.]

Ari

Well, first of all, when she sees all of the Kool-Aid Man and the gummies and everybody there she’ll just be like:

Ari (as A.Lex)

I don’t have the time to register your names or ask anything about you, but I will do this after this, so don’t worry. Welcome to the team.

[Laughter.]

Kyle (as Kool-Aid Man)

OH YEAH!

Ari (as A.Lex)

[Weakly.] Yes… oh yeah.

Ari

She would scream more if she wasn’t so tired with spiders. But then, I have this thing called Steely Gaze where if I stare a round at them foes within immediate range of you lose their resolves and the difficulty of their next—Well no, because it’s an action. Never mind. I was like maybe I can do that and then—

Kyle

No, do it! Give him a Steely Gaze. Terrify TJ.

Cassidy

Scared to death.

Ari

Making them run away or something?

Ari (as A.Lex)

Turns out you were nothing after all, for the Angelina Lexington Squad, chump!

Ari

And start doing things like that.

Kyle

Yeah, give me a speech. Well first give me a roll to succeed at your Steely Gaze.

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

Even with your spiders, he’s still Level 1, so you have to roll a 3 or better.

Ari

[Rolls.] Well, I rolled a 1, so…

Olivia

Nooo!

Hallie

Oh my god! Is everybody gonna fail their final attacks?!

Cassidy

I’m gonna love this if we all fail our final attack.

Ari

She’s just so scared, man.

Hallie

[Gritted.] Incredible.

Ari

Maybe it isn’t her but it is all of her other team just staring at him behind her.

[L’Adrien’s subtle villain theme plays.]

Kyle

Yeah. TJ looks at you, and the thing seems to almost laugh for a second and starts walking towards you.

Ari

[Smiling.] A.Lex takes a step back.

Kyle

But then next to you, kind of walking really awkwardly, is CK who hasn’t walked in a long time.

Ari

Oh my god. I didn’t realize he could walk. That’s so scary.

[Laughter.]

Kyle

He leans on you casually and says:

[Music changes to L’Adrien’s upbeat villain theme.]

Kyle (as CK)

Did you really think that we were only going to do one little speech? You have no idea what fear is.

Kyle

Through his mic you hear the chanting of 50 different L’Adriens.

Ari

Oh my god.

Hallie

What?

Kyle

Including one that is just Cecilos with a purple mustache on.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Hell yeah.

Kyle

And behind all of them Sexy Hopper Scotch’s skin starts to change, and he just goes:

Hallie

No.

Kyle (as Joe)

After all, dude, you know the truth.

Kyle

And Sexy Hopper Scotch’s form changes to just the image of regular Hopper Scotch, and Joe says:

Hallie (as Joe (as Hopper))

You know, we’re the ones you need to be afraid of.

[Music ends.]

[01:00:00]

Kyle

And TJ bolts.

Emily

[Happy hum.]

Ari

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Hannelore, you are able to catch your bearings and you’re able to get the vehicle back up. You can see Sue just being held there with the Chyrannosaurus Rex.

Olivia

Cool, man. Cool.

Kyle

What do you wanna do?

Olivia

Is using Coaxing Power a whole action? I boost the power and function of a machine so that it operates 1 higher Level than normal for 1 hour. Action to initiative.

Kyle

You can use your 2 XP to do that freely.

Olivia

Both of XP to do it freely?

Kyle

Yeah, both of your XP to do it freely.

Olivia

[Defeated.] Okay…

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Okay. Push on Coaxing Power, just like (DING), connect into this giant float, and then I’m going to jump and just jackknife the Obsidian Sue in the small of her knee so that she is gonna fall and the Chyrannosaurus chicken can do better work.

Kyle

Yeah. Give me a roll to hit.

Olivia

[Exhales.] Can I put Effort into this?

Kyle

[Smiling.] yes you can.

Olivia

Okay. Let’s do—Let’s just make fun, have fun on the radio. I’m gonna put 2 levels of Effort into it just to be safe.

[Rolls.] …

Cassidy

One. One. One.

Olivia

Fuck! It’s a 2!

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Oh my god!

Olivia

It’s a 2, man! Do I at least get tangled up in her legs?

Hallie

This is… This is the best. These are the best final moments I have ever seen. This is so great!

Ari

Kyle intending for the BBs to have the last moment of shining glory and all of the NPCs have to step in.

Hallie

This is so great!

Kyle

It would have felt weird not to give you rolls. I figured they can at least get like a 5 or higher each time.

Cassidy

Yeah, that’ll…

Olivia

No!

Kyle

They won’t just roll 1s.

Cassidy

[Smiling.] Nope. Yeah.

Hallie

Ones and 2s.

Olivia

I’m rolling all my other dice. I’m rolling a 3, a 2, and a 5!

[Laughter.]

Hallie

None of this was meant to be!

Olivia

Here’s how the last one goes… A 1!

[Laughter and clapping.]

Fuck you, Kyle! … Sorry. I don’t mean that.

Kyle

Hannelore, you swing but you’re not used to this vehicle, so you swing and miss and it breaks out of the Chyrannosaurus and punches the side of your vehicle. You swing again, and you miss, and Sue punches you again, but you start to hear this (vroom).

[Eurobeat music begins.]

This revving of a car. You see in the distance Jimmy Win’s car driving towards you. You hear over the pin:

Kyle (as Jimmy)

What do you think you’re doing there, Hannelore?!

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Absolutely shitting the bed, Mr. Win. Please, bring us home.

Kyle (as Jimmy)

Of course you’re shitting the bed. You’re trying to do this alone. What’s the Speedy Speed Boy motto? Alone we’re losers!

Kyle

And Jimmy raises up an L on his hands, and you hear all the other Speedy Speed Boys including Viv and Baby Jason from below respond as Jimmy crosses those Ls to make a W.

Kyle (as Speedy Speed Boys)

But together we’re winners!

Kyle

Suddenly, out of behind the Red Mary, you see just a fleet emerge of all the other Speedy Speed Boy vehicles. Even the Red Mary… all of them driving towards it. At the helm of the Red Mary you see Captain Jebediah Ishmael just [makes a deep sound while shaking his head]

Olivia

You suck.

Kyle

And all of them ride towards Obsidian Sue who is so distracted kicking your ass that they’re able to drive up the side of Sue, and Jimmy, letting go of his vehicle, jumps out with a giant fist and just slams her in the top of the head causing a ripple that causes her to shatter.

[Music ends.]

Emily

[Chuckles.]

Kyle

Ig, your scene is a bit different because the spell hasn’t stopped yet.

[Tragic, ethereal sci-fi music.]

Mayra, powered by Sunny, each of their eyes blazing, are just firing into this fake figure.

Kyle (as Mayra)

[Empowered, echoing.] Show me who you really are.

Kyle

The Professor starts to slip away and the figure changes into the shape of this soldier in Angulan Knight armor.

Kyle (as Sunny)

[Empowered, echoing.] No, who you really are!

Kyle

And the soldier starts to flit away, and its fingers curl back, and it turns into this skittering, frantic, spider-like shape. They both repeat together:

Kyle (as Sunny & Mayra)

[Empowered, echoing.] No, who you REALLY are!

Kyle

This glass soldier just starts furling apart, undoing itself and turning into nothingness. It just slams against the house, each plate filling the sides of Xoc’s house, because the Apocrita in the end is nothing. It is, in its own way, a death, so it is against all of the walls.

[Music ends.]

Ig, as you’re taking this in and you’re about to take your action, you’re stopped by something… a weird pair of voices.

[Ambling country music begins.]

[01:05:00]

Kyle (as Jeff)

Well Dindavid, I thought we were done with this work, but I guess we still have some stuff we gotta do on this here weird physical plane.

Ari (as Dindavid)

I don't know Jeff, I think it’s kinda fun to do these things once in a while.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, I suppose. Hey, you, you over there. Do you have money, like stratic life money that you could pay us?

Ari (as Dindavid)

We don’t need much. We don’t get paid a lot anyway, so anything will do. Anything would be better than my salary.

Emily

They’re asking Ig?

Kyle

They’re asking Ig.

Emily (as Ig)

I don’t have, um…

[Sniffles, sobbing.] I don’t have money, but I really like you and I can pay you in friendship. Is that okay? I had a really long day.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Ugh, well…

Ari (as Dindavid)

Other than Jeff, I don't think I’ve ever had a true friend, so I will accept it.

Kyle (as Jeff)

Yeah, you’re telling me, Dindavid. Remember that last job we took like a week or so ago?

Ari (as Dindavid)

Yeah. Maybe. It was a lot of work to patch those memories together and whatnot. That wasn’t from a friend.

Kyle (as Jeff)

That wasn’t working for a friend. That was working for a real nasty lady. It’ll be nice working for someone nice for a change. So uh, Dindavid and I are gonna get to work. Remember, if you like what we did here, leave a five-star review for Datasphere Recovery Duo.

Ari (as Dindavid)

Oh, and subscribe, too. That’s important.

Emily

[Giggles.]

Kyle

Jeff and Dindavid, their hardy strength fills you, Ig, and you can make an action… and probably roll poorly.

[Music ends.]

Hallie

Come on!

Emily

Isn’t it gone, though?

Kyle

It is there. It is a shadow within the house itself, a shadow cast against the wall, of glass.

Emily

Well… you know what the worst thing for shadows is. … Light. Ig is going to re-call her Shroud of Flame and, with the help of Jeff and Dindavid, it is slightly more controlled than usual.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Emily

[Smiling.] And I would like to create a flare of light, to banish it. Banish it, like magic! Okay, okay, okay. This is my last thing.

Olivia

Okay. Come on, man. Bring us home! Bring us home, Emily.

Emily

I am going to spend 3 levels of Effort.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

Good choice. Great choice. It wouldn’t have helped me, but you could still do it.

Emily

Ig will reach back and hold her big brother’s hand again and squeeze it.

[Rolls.] Oh, oh… It wasn’t good, but I rolled a 12.

Olivia

Okay! Okay.

Hallie

Okay!

Emily

Did that do it?

Ari

Yeah, that’s better than a 1.

Cassidy

That’s not a 1.

Emily

I did 3 levels.

Olivia

Okay!

Kyle

… Vespari squeezes your hand back, and he looks to everyone else.

[Inspiring magical piano and accordion music begins.]

Kyle (as Vespari)

Friends! Have we got a performance for you, tonight. The realest magic done by real nanos of The Ninth World. On my left I have the Incredible Igneous Artiste of Astaria.

[Someone claps rapidly.]

Kyle

And Vespari starts lifting up little pieces of silver glass, little reflective points on which your light can bounce and flair.

Kyle (as Vespari)

And accompanying her as her assistant today…

Kyle

And he rises it higher and higher.

Kyle (as Vespari)

…I am Vespari!

Kyle

And the light goes out which hits all of these little silver things which work almost as if they were prisms turning this fierce bright light into rainbows everywhere, just bright harsh light, and it hits all of the pieces of glass which almost seem to hiss back and fall back from the house.

Emily (as Ig)

[Softly.] Hey. Hey big brother…? You’re great.

[Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Kyle

Hello and welcome to the announcement break for Quest Friends, Episode 80: The Obsidian Cloud, Part 7. I am Kyle, your GM, and our intro and outro songs are Friends and Hitoshio, both by Miracle of Sound.

Hey. Do you like it when Hallie GMs? I like it when Hallie GMs, and honestly I’d like to see more of it. Luckily, we’ll have an opportunity to see and hear more of that because Hallie will be participating in the Omniverse Chronicles, a bonus Twitch series from the actual play podcast The Crit Show.

Now what does this mean exactly? This means that every Monday, starting this Monday, Labor Day, September 6, Hallie will be running a campaign of Afterlife: Wandering Souls. This is a really cool system all about folks who have recently died

[01:10:00]

trying to parse together the details of their lives in order to move into the afterlife, which Hallie is dressing up as a kind of murder mystery sleuth thing.

“You died under conditions you don’t remember and now you must figure out the circumstances of your death in order to move on.”

If this sounds interesting to you, Hallie will be running eight sessions on Mondays, again starting this upcoming Monday, from 7 to 10 PM Central Time at twitch.tv/thecritshow.

Because that was a lot of words and numbers, just… Hallie’s running a game. It’s gonna be streamed. If you’re interested in it, you can find all the details in the description.

Down in the description you will also find a link to our Twitch page where, amongst other things, we are going to be streaming the final episode of Quest Friends Season 1, our Numenera campaign, as well as a Q&A session afterwards. The specific details of the time will be posted in a little update onto this feed probably a few days before the finale releases, but if you want to block off your calendar that finale episode and the stream will be on our 4-year anniversary, Saturday, September 25.

Finally, if you’d like to submit a Q&A question for that stream, you can submit a question by filling out our end of campaign survey. This survey, in addition to it giving us just a whole lot of useful information, also has fields where you can enter the Q&A question—like I just mentioned—and you can enter your email address in order to get the first batch of episodes of Season 2 just a little bit early.

So again, in short. Hallie’s GMing games every Monday starting this Monday, link below. We’re gonna be having a stream of this campaign’s final episode, which is two episodes out, on Saturday, September 25. And then finally, if you’d like to submit a question for that survey or just want to provide us really useful information, our end of campaign survey can also be found below in the description.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for you today. We’ve got two episodes left in the campaign. While our final one will be releasing on the 25th, this campaign’s penultimate episode will be releasing on Monday, September 13th. If you’d like additional content before then, you can find stories, artwork, and behind the scenes insights at Patreon.com/QuestFriends. I’ll see you there.

[Howling wind SFX carries out of the announcements.]

Kyle

Okay Ness. Everyone else has fought or is about to fight their things. That leaves you. So what are you gonna do?

Hallie

Last, I was flying down to Sera.

Kyle

Okay. You fly down to Sera, and what are you gonna do when you get to her?

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey! Hey! Hey! You gotta get up! That’s lieutenant’s orders!

Kyle

You get down and you start snapping in her face, right?

Hallie

Yep.

Kyle

As other people start running. Specifically Soe comes over really worried, and Rei just starts slowly walking over nervous. As you snap you hear a:

[Silly, clownish music begins.]

Kyle (as Sera)

Agh! So fucking loud!

Kyle

Sera turns up and glares at you.

Kyle (as Sera)

What the hell?!

Hallie (as Ness)

Well if you’d responded the first time I wouldn’t have to be so loud!

Hallie

[Smiling.] He’s cupping his hands and shouting even worse into her ear.

Kyle (as Sera)

Well, it’s hard to do that when—Ugh!

Kyle

She tries leaning on her elbow and just kinda slumps back.

Kyle (as Sera)

When everything’s broken.

Kyle (as Rei)

Sera, not everything’s broken.

Kyle (as Sera)

Mom, I’m exaggerating, okay? It still hurts like hell, though.

Hallie

Ness will, if she’s trying to sit up, he’ll offer one of his little arms for her to hang onto.

Kyle

She does that. Rei picks up the other one.

[Music ends.]

Kyle (as Sera)

Well, things are going better than I thought… so that’s something.

Hallie (as Ness)

Yeah, yeah, yeah! At no point was I afraid during that, and it looks like everything is going exactly as I thought it would, which was rousing success.

Kyle

Sera nods, but Soe who has been standing nearby just clutching her hover board real nervously says:

Kyle (as Soe)

But, uh… but some people still got bit by the spiders, right?

Hallie (as Ness)

Did they? Did anybody get bitten?

Kyle (as Soe)

Well, not everyone, but…

Kyle

And that’s when Sera suddenly goes:

Kyle (as Sera)

Wait, where’s Chitters? Where’s Chitters?!

[Howling wind SFX begins.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Uh, uh, uh…

Hallie

Ness takes to the sky again. I assume Sera falls because he forgets that he’s supporting her and just zooms up to get a better view.

Kyle

Yeah. You can see Chitters laying on the ground a few dozen feet away.

Hallie

I scoop him up. I go there and I scoop him up.

[Gentle tragic music begins.]

Kyle

You scoop him up and as you scoop him up you just hear a faint (whistling), and his little hand grabs onto your finger.

[01:15:00]

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey. Look Chitters, I know that you’re like a small bat thing, but you know, Xoc was bitten by one of these and he seems to be fine, and you are most definitely stronger than he is, so it’s gonna be… it’s gonna be fine. Like I said, rousing success! Everything’s good under Lieutenant Ness.

Kyle

Chitters starts—His eyes start drooping a little bit. He is not taken by it yet, but his movement is a lot more stilted. As you look out on the battlefield you can see that the spiders are still there. People are banding together, people are fighting the constructs, but spiders are still going around. They’re still biting people, and there are those who have been bitten so many times that… we don’t know how long they’re gonna make it.

Hallie (as Ness)

Okay, okay, okay… Do we, uh… You know, I should’ve asked Xoc to leave some medicine or something, but I just assumed that we wouldn’t…

[Stammers.] Does anybody have Neosporin? Some medicine? Band-Aids?

Kyle

As you look around,--Give me a roll to look for them.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Twelve.

Kyle

Ness, as you’re looking around you don’t find anything but you hear a little piece of glass just tink at your feet. As you look down you see, still glowing with light from the explosion, just the tiniest little shard of Redd’s Blessing that was kept back with the generator.

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey, hey, hey! This was, this was, this was… Hey Sera, this was the part that was making the generator work, right?

Kyle

You run back with Chitters…

Hallie

Yeah, he’s saying this as he’s jogging with Chitters.

Kyle

…who immediately just climbs up onto Sera who looks at him for a second.

Kyle (as Sera)

[Tearful.] I’m… so sorry, little guy.

Kyle

She looks at the other thing.

Kyle (as Sera)

Yes. Yeah, that was part of Redd’s Blessing.

Hallie (as Ness)

Uh, so I know it’s just a little piece, but sometimes little things can be good. Can we, uh… remake the barrier with this to get all the spiders out?

Kyle (as Sera)

[Chuckles.] I’ve blown up a lot of things. No. No, there’s no way we can fix that. I just…

Kyle (as Rei)

And, Sera, what did I say every time you had destroyed something?

Kyle (as Sera)

I don't know. You always said, like, it was a way to make something new I guess? But…

[Music ends.]

Hallie (as Ness)

Could we make just a new smaller one?

Kyle

Rei, sitting there, just kinda fiddles with her suitcoat, but instead of fiddling with a button she fiddles with the Mauve & Mako pin.

Kyle (as Rei)

Perhaps it may be best to just warn everyone with this, send them a message.

Kyle (as Sera)

A… A message?

[Threatening, ethereal ambience begins.]

Kyle

Sera looks at Redd’s Blessing in one hand and looks at the pin in the other.

Kyle (as Sera)

A message… Yes, that’s it! That’s it! Soe, can you—?

Kyle (as Soe)

Yes! Yes! I absolutely can!

Kyle

Soe grabs the pin and grabs Redd’s Blessing and emerges with some sort of weird contraption that shows the Blessing and the pin inside of it.

Kyle (as Soe)

We could send a signal. We could send a signal to everybody! And use this to turn everybody into the shield.

Hallie (as Ness)

Okay! You mean we could all be that… That sounds like a good plan. I like personal shields.

Kyle (as Soe)

I don't know why it’s not working, though.

Kyle

As she’s talking, a few of the soldiers around you start to finally reemerge themselves, a few of the soldiers and the Tready.

Kyle (as Soe)

Um… I think it needs time. It needs time to power up.

[Music changes to tragic, inspirational action.]

Hallie (as Ness)

How much?

Kyle

Soe gives you a time estimate that equals out to about five rounds.

Hallie (as Ness)

Okay… Okay! Uh… okay! You!

Hallie

He’s pointing at Sera now.

Hallie (as Ness)

You’re on support now. The rest of us, we can give this time to charge up.

Hallie

Ness is impulsive. He’s ready. He’s just ready to go again.

Kyle

Sera laughs.

Kyle (as Sera)

[Pained coughing chuckle.] Sorry “lieutenant,” but I think Cart said it was my turn next, and this whole place is gonna be down on you as soon as they figure it out.

Kyle

You can see more and more of the glass figures arising, but each time it’s another Tready. Two, three, four, five. You notice that they’re going to start blocking you off from everyone else, leaving you alone with the item.

Kyle (as Rei)

I will keep track of Sera. Just keep that out of their hands as much as you can.

Hallie (as Ness)

I’m really good at keep-away.

Kyle (as Soe)

Good, because um…

Kyle

And Soe, before she can be blocked off, walks right next to you and starts getting on her hover board.

Kyle (as Soe)

I haven’t played before.

Kyle

As the gate of Treadys blocks off Sera and Rei, Sera just yells to Soe.

Kyle (as Sera)

Soe! Remember what I told you!

[01:20:00]

Kyle (as Soe)

Right! No matter what happens, don’t tell mom!

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

And it’s time to play keep-away. You have five rounds to keep this away from the Tready fleet as much as you can. You can fight them. You can run from them. Do what you think is best.

Hallie

I’m gonna start off strong and I’m gonna ask…

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey Soe, how fast does this thing go?

Hallie

…and no matter what she answers, she’ll be in the middle of answering or perhaps demonstrating how fast it can go, Ness holds onto the back and fires up his jetpack so that it goes even faster!

[Music ends.]

Kyle

Give me a roll.

Hallie

[Rolls.] That’s a 1! Let’s go! Five round keep –away~! I can do this for five rounds. Yeah!

[Rising electronic action music begins.]

Kyle

You go to push on the back of Soe’s hover glider, but doing that accidentally causes both of you to spin out and fly out over the side of the cliff.

Hallie (as Ness)

Okay-okay! So this is actually what you shouldn’t do. I’m teaching you how not to play the game because sometimes that’s the most effective way to learn!

Kyle (as Soe)

[Nervously.] Oh, okay!

Kyle

And as you fall down, Soe says:

Kyle (as Soe)

I’ve got it!

Kyle

She reaches down and steadies herself but grabs you who are just dangling there, however because of this it’s gonna make it harder to defend against the Tready fleet. I need you to roll Speed defense.

Hallie

[Rolls.] Five.

Kyle

The Tready fleet bounds over the corner, dozens of them, and they start flying down and start just buffeting you, Ness, as you’re being held by Soe. You are going to take 8 points of damage.

Hallie

Ow! No. Ugh! Okay, well I’m back to 0 in two pools.

Ari

Oh—What?!

Hallie

Because I was fine. I had 0 in two pools and then Kyle let us do the heal and I got 8, so I split up the 4 between Might and Speed so I was no longer debilitated, but now that I took 8 more damage I am once again debilitated.

Kyle

You are knocked down to debilitated and your hand almost slips, but Soe grabs onto it further and a few strands of her hair reach down to her hand to also pull on.

Kyle (as Soe)

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch! I guess I’ll teach you how to play?

Hallie (as Ness)

Yeah, that’d be good.

Kyle

As the Tready fleet merges down at the bottom, Soe flies straight up into the air. It’s funny how tough of a time you’re having with this, Ness, because running is the one thing you remember doing all of your life. Four rounds remain.

Hallie

Ness admittedly is used to running through crowded streets where it’s easy to slip away unnoticed in the general hubbub. Flying away being the only target is a different experience for him, so he’s not sure how to handle this one. But since they’re flying straight up… Well, I already emptied my knapsack into Tready that first time.

Kyle

I mean, you can’t do anything but crawl right now. You should probably heal yourself.

Hallie

Oh yeah! Wait, yeah, I’m just gonna take a second to heal myself. I will use one of my XP to heal. So that’s a d6, hang on.

[Rolls.] I got a 5, so that’s another 8 that I heal, so we’re back to 4 in each and I am off the damage track.

Kyle

You start flying higher and higher. What do you do to heal yourself? How do you use the XP?

Hallie

As Ness is clambering into safer purchase on the hover board with Soe’s help he is thinking of all the times Xoc explained robotic healing and how he fixed Ness, and Ness half-paid attention during those times, so he’s really searching in his brain for any incidental thing he remembers Xoc saying. One of them is like, oh, if you just tighten that thing on your arm a certain way… that’s your chakra. That heals your chakra. I don't know, it’s robot chakra now. So um… he does that.

Kyle

As the Treadys fly up, I’m gonna need you to roll a Speed defense again.

Hallie

Okay.

[Rolls.] Nineteen!

Kyle

The Treadys this time start flying up as a fleet but they’re no longer interested in you. They don’t think you’re the threat. So instead they go directly trying to knock Soe off of her hover board.

Hallie

No~

Kyle

How do you, using your Speed, help prevent this from happening?

[Music ends.]

Hallie

I am hanging onto her legs at this point which gives her a stronger stance on the board, and I’m gonna yell…

Hallie (as Ness)

Duck!

Hallie

…at one second so that she’s still standing but she can duck over a Tready that flies over her, and Ness is just keeping her stable by holding onto her legs.

[Action music begins.]

Kyle

The Treadys try to  hit Soe, they try to get up and knock her over the side, but at your warning she ducks immediately, letting go of you but giving you enough time to get back on your hover board. You think about how you spent all of your life running, and then the one time you failed, the one time you had that long con…

Hallie (as Ness)

The long con.

Kyle

You just happened to get picked up by some loser in blue robes.

Hallie (as Ness)

Do you know how long that took me to set up? Like, he ruined everything!

[01:25:00]

I don’t have the stamina to undertake a second long con.

Kyle

You have three rounds left.

Hallie

I would like to… I’m gonna use Encouragement again, on Soe specifically. I would like to make all of her defense tasks one step easier for her by just—while all this about Xoc is running through his mind.

Hallie (as Ness)

Hey! You’re doing great! You’re real good at keep-away, it turns out.

Kyle (as Soe)

Oh, thank you. I wasn’t sure. But, um… ah!

Kyle

And she yelps as another fleet of Tready tries to hit her. Give me a roll for Speed defense for her.

Hallie

For Soe? Okay.

[Rolls.] Soe got an 11.

Kyle

Unfortunately, with your help, it doesn’t work. She’s too distracted by the speech, and the Treadys just pummel into her on the hover board…

Hallie

Oh no.

Kyle

…picking her up off of it and then dropping.

Hallie

Agh! Uh… I respond by flying the board down to catch her!

[Music ends.]

Kyle

As you’re flying down, the weirdness of the entire situation hits you as you have two rounds left. Give me a roll to catch.

Hallie

I would like to spend 1 tier of Effort.

[Rolls.] Twenty!

Kyle

How do you deftly pick her up?

[Inspirational remix of Soe’s theme begins.]

Hallie

So, jetpacks work much better if you’re coming down than going just straight ahead, so I imagine that as she falls the hover board slows a little bit, reaching its peak, and then Ness clambers more forward to get better purchase. He’s laying down on it like you would on a boogie board.

Kyle

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Then he activates his jetpack to go down and then he does that cool swoop thing where he’s right under her.

Kyle

You reach down to grab her and she reaches up her hand and the rest of her hair is either blowing up by the wind, but it looks like it’s also trying to reach out for you, and gets closer and closer, feet away from the Cliffside, and you grab her and swoop away one second beforehand.

On your way to the final round, it just hits you. You spent all your life not being able to count on anyone. Now everyone is counting on you.

[Music swells and ends.]

What do you do for your final round?

Hallie

For his final round… Ness is doing better than he would against the spiders, but he is still afraid.

[Gentle, nostalgic song begins.]

He doesn’t like to admit it to himself, but afraid right now, knowing that people are counting on him, he thinks of Xoc climbing the gym rope, and he thinks of Hop confronting everything on the Prodigious, and he thinks of Misha confronting their past, and he thinks of Elee getting on the boat when she is afraid of water. Ness’s final movement is actually to stop the hover board so that all the Treadiess racing after him at full speed just go straight past him.

Kyle

Alright. Give me your final roll.

Hallie

[Rolls. Weakly.] I got 6.

Kyle

Take 6 points of Might damage.

Hallie

Ouch. Okay, so that’s back to 0 for two pools for the third time. It always works out that way.

[Music ends.]

Kyle

The Treadys hit you. (Thud, thud, thud). This time Soe isn’t around to save you, and you get knocked back and you can see the little shard of Redd’s Blessing fly out of your grasp. You have the choice to either grab it or jetpack yourself to safety.

Hallie

I grab it. I’m protecting that thing for as long as I can.

[The howling wind SFX begins, but it’s gentler this time.]

Kyle

You grab it and hold it close to your chest as you fall down, down, down. (Thud. Thud. Thud). Ness rolls down the Cliffside for 6 points of additional damage.

[SFX ends.]

But as you hit the bottom… there’s a light.

[Inspirational, yet gentle, piano music begins.]

At first you might think “oh, it’s the heavenly lights, the pearly gates. That’s it. I’m going, I’m going, I’m gone.”

Hallie

“Crossing the River Jordan! Here I go!”

Kyle

But you start to see more lights, and even more, and you start to feel them. Around you, each of the citizens of the Weal and each of the people protecting them have this prismatic light that appears all around their skin.

Up by Eraf—Don, Jesse, Everett and everyone else starts to slowly recover, and the blood barms who were pretty muted start going (gobbles). A.Lex who had been leaning on CK’s arm doesn’t need to lean so much anymore. Rockryan, he looks about the same. He’s a little bit upset about the light, honestly, all things considered. Hannelore who had been drooping at the controls of the Tommy Funbuck mech just recovers to a safe driving point. And Chitters who had been faintly grabbing Sera’s hand with less and less strength suddenly wraps his entire wing around her.

[Music ends.]

[01:30:00]

You did it. You all are safe. But I lied earlier, give me one more Speed defense.

Hallie

[Rolls.] I got 6.

Ari

Jesus!

Kyle

Every Tready turns towards you. They weren’t defeated, and there’s no way Soe can take those out on their own.

[Tragic music begins.]

So they turn around and, in a giant force, race towards you… faster, faster, faster. What is Ness thinking about?

Hallie

Last time something akin to this happened to Ness his last thoughts were “I have to get to Xoc, I have to get to Xoc, I have to get to Xoc.” This time I think they’re:

Hallie (as Ness)

It’s okay, Xoc will get back to me. It’s okay, Xoc will get back to me. It’s okay, Xoc will get back to me. It’s okay, Xoc will get back to me!

Kyle

You repeat that in your mind, hoping, praying, as the Treadys get closer, and closer, and…

[Music swells and ends.]

So many different shards of glass hit the ground at and beside you as all of the Treadys suddenly disintegrate into their shards of glass. Around you, you can see all the other soldiers start crumpling and falling to the ground, and the spiders stop moving.

[Outro song begins, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound.]

In the sky there is a silence as the left triangles move away and the cloud itself stops raining, and you don't know how the fight against the Apocrita will go… but you know that they made it.

Hallie

Ness will look up and go:

Hallie (as Ness)

I knew it.

[Outro music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Kyle

Does that make sense? Does that seem reasonable enough?

Hallie

Yeah. So, that happened before they all tore Ness apart?

Kyle

Yes. You are alive.

Hallie

Okay, so Ness is alive. Ness does not have to be re-fixed by Xoc. Okay.

Kyle

[Grinning.] No, he does not need to be re-fixed by Xoc.

Hallie

I was just worried.

Emily

[Laughing.] I mean, he’s still debilitated. He might need a little repair.

Hallie

No… he’s strong. “I am strong, father.”

Kyle

We need to wait for Hallie for this one.

Emily

Great.

Kyle

So if anyone needs to pee, now is the time, because we are moving into the endgame of the episode.

Ari

So the last thing is literally us dying. When you said “you’ll know when your last scene is,” he’s like oh yeah, that’s when you actually die.

Cassidy

[Laughs.] Yeah, this is it.

Ari

But then Ness probably will do something and then “oh, surprise, you’re all fine.”

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Olivia

No, I’m just pretty sure I’m gonna drown in this big float.

Hallie

Sorry Kyle. It’s one roll?

Kyle

You don’t have to roll.

Hallie

I don’t have to roll?

Kyle

Everyone rolled.

Emily

We all rolled…

Kyle

And you all failed.

Emily

…and he said “oh, yeah, let’s wait for Hallie for this.”

Olivia

Yeah. Thank you for coming back.

Cassidy

[Chuckles.]

Hallie

Wait! Wait. Catch me up.

Cassidy

We all failed our defense rolls.

Hallie

Every single one?

Emily

And so you’re here to hear us die.

Ari

Yeah.

Olivia

I got a 2.

Ari

I got a 3.

Hallie

But I don’t have to roll?

Cassidy

Nope.

Hallie

Cool.

Kyle

Nope, because you don’t have a construct fighting you.

Olivia

You don’t have to roll to witness total destruction.

Cassidy

[Laughs.]

Hallie

Alright. Good.

Olivia

Oh, thank god Q-BO is spared.

Hallie

[Laughs loudly.]

Olivia

Maybe Q-BO could just share what personal dreams we had later.

I think everyone should just remain calm. Everyone just calm down.

Cassidy

[Laughs.] Eraf’s calm.

Olivia

[Smiling.] Hallie. Hallie, lower your voice, for example, please.

Kyle

Joe-per, who looks even more muscular this time, but it’s like—

Ari

[Giggling.] I imagine like that SpongeBob episode where he has these inflatable muscles and he can just inflate them for them to be more and more, like… yeah.

Kyle

They’re inflating and deflating. He seems to be trying to do this to amp himself up but is failing and is in many ways looking more like the regular Hopper Scotch.

Olivia

[Cackles.] Brutal. Absolutely diabolical.

Hallie

What the fuck?

Kyle

And a voice says—God damn it, Charlie.

Cassidy

[Laughing.] That’s what he says?

Ari

I was like, what voice is, what character is that, that Kyle has to say “god damn it, Charlie” to get into the voice. I was like, what, who is this?

[Laughter.]

Kyle

He’s just. Fucking…

Olivia

[Playful voice.] What a good boy. He’s a good boy.

Kyle

He marches in, sits down for two seconds, and leaves.

Olivia

“It’s boring in here!”

Kyle

[Unintelligible]

Emily

But I do have a question.

Kyle

Yeah?

Emily

What happens if you burn spiders?

Kyle

They die.

Emily

[Softly.] I have an action.

Kyle

[Grinning.] Are you gonna burn it out of Rockryan? It is under his skin.

Olivia

Permission granted. Permission granted.

Hallie

Cauterize the wound.

Olivia

Into my pin.

Emily

Okay. Apocrita spider, burn!

Kyle

That’s fair.

Olivia

[Hums musically.]

Hallie (as Joe (as Hopper))

You know, we’re the ones you need to be afraid of.

Ari

[Smiling.] I just imagine it’s like that Toy Story part, like “so play nice!”

Hallie

Ha!

[01:35:00]

Ari

At the end it’s just Hopper saying that line.

Kyle

[Smiling.] Well because at this point hopefully Aegon is getting his ass fucking handed to him by Hopper Scotch in the sky.

Hallie

Hopefully!

Kyle

[Laughing.] Otherwise this line will not work.

Emily

[Laughs.]

Hallie

No, I want it!

Olivia

I loosened it up for you. Can I say that the Red Mary was pumping Heart of Glass? The Miley Cyrus version.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Kyle

Sure.

Olivia

[Hums it enthusiastically.] As I slowly sink into the water, impotently.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Weakly.] Oh, that’s great guys…

Olivia

Blub, blub, blub.

I’m desperately trying to read Tom’s lips.

Kyle

I think he’s upset that the house will probably get burnt down.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Olivia

He seems to be saying “fuck you.”

Kyle

Alright, that is the last that we will see of the Cookie Crew.

Olivia

I just wanna say that is one of the theories of how chemtrails works is that they are reflecting the sun’s light back at the sun to cool the planet Earth.

[Laughter.]

Cassidy

Oh goodness.

Emily

[Sweetly.] Hey guys… I liked this.

Olivia

Yeah. Wow.

Cassidy

This was a good time.

Hallie

I’m so happy with all your rolls at the end.

Cassidy

[Laughs.] Perfect.

Olivia

I can’t believe…

Emily

Thanks.