The Cookie Two, Part 2

Previously on Quest Friends: The Cookie Two...

[Opening theme, “Great Fun” by Antarctic, begins.]

Hallie (as Anastasia)

I want to make a new cookie, and I want to make it based off of a Brackleberry family recipe that's been passed down through the family for generations. 

Hallie (as Madeline)

[Enthusiastically.] Sounds killer. When do we go? 

Hallie (as Anastasia)

[Reluctantly.] Actually, Madeline? Um, I was thinking you could stay here. 

Hallie (as Madeline)

[Confused.] Why, why wouldn't I go? You said you were sending four, four people? Who, what–if I'm not the fourth, who...who's going? 

Ari 

Is it, is it my time?

Hallie

It is your time. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Okay! My name is Angelina Lexington, but since I sign all of my documents as A dot Lex, people usually call me by the name of A.Lex. It's up to you, really, however you want to call me. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Sure thing. So just to be clear, we're going to see your Aunt, uh, Ramya? 

Hallie (as Anastasia)

She's a professor at the University of Qi. Uh, Eraf, I understand you're an alumnus? 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Uh, I believe I am. 

Hallie

That's correct. Are you asking me as the DM? 

Cassidy 

Yes. No. I...

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins)

No, well, um, University of Qi bans all books. So it is really hard to find a specific book if you're looking for one

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Angrily.] It, it, it bans all books?!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Sheepishly.] Yeah, they ban all books.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Whispering.] Eraf, is that, is this normal for colleges?

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Indignant.] Why?! 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Resigned.] This is normal for Qi University. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

My name is Shannon. Shannon Iggins. 

Olivia

Shannon...

Ari 

Oh my god.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Trying not to laugh.] Shannon Iggins. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

It gets were you raised by the Schwesters? 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Yeah, the nuns at Wyrfall? Uh, the town hall of records burned down after a traveling carnival came through and they didn't know where I was supposed to be transferred. So.

Emily 

Ig has actually gotten a little bit pale. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Yeah, actually, there was a girl who looked a lot like you, and she came with the carnival!

[A pause.]

Wait.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Probably not our friend Ig here then. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

No way.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Just a coincidence.

Cassidy 

[Pleased.] And I...am trained in deceiving.

[Theme music intensifies.]

Cassidy 

[Laughing.] So I should be able to do this. Because I'm assuming...

Hallie

[Crosstalking.] Are you going to deceive her?

Cassidy 

Yeah, I am assuming that is the exact traveling carnival that burned it down, that Ig was a part of, but I don't want her to know. 

Olivia

I feel like Hannelore and Eraf are used to reading Ig's guilty looks.

Cassidy 

[Laughter.] Yeah. 

Olivia

Fire-related guilty looks.

Emily 

[Laughter.]

Cassidy 

Alright, so what am I gonna do. 

Hallie

If that's your deception, like.

Cassidy 

Mm-hmm.

Hallie

If it's just, no, can't have been!

Cassidy 

Yeah! 

Hallie

Go ahead and make me a roll.

Cassidy 

Uh, twenty.

Ari

Ooh!

Hallie

It was a twenty?

Cassidy 

No, I'm asking roll the twenty? Yes. No, gosh, I wish.

Ari 

Oh my god. 

Hallie

Oh, a D20. Yeah. I was like, [Excited.] First roll of the game!

Cassidy 

It is a twelve. And...

Hallie

[Crosstalking.] It is a twelve?

Cassidy 

Do I get any sweet bonuses for being trained in that?

Olivia

Awesome.

Hallie

You're trained, so it was a step easier. So you succeed, actually.

Cassidy 

[Quietly.] Yess.

Hallie

So she looks from you to, um, Ig, and says, 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Okay. Yeah, you know, I guess, I guess it couldn't have been, I, I couldn't see through all the– 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Crosstalking.] No way, couldn't have been.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Smoke, because the town fire caught from the town hall, and then burned down the town crematorium.

[A loud snort from someone else in the party.]

And we couldn't tell which... 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Oh my gosh.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Dear, did your people traditionally burn people after death? 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Well, cremation was a pretty, it was a pretty common practice. But then after the fire we couldn't tell which ashes were the building and which were the bodies.

[Laughter from the party.] 

So, we stopped.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

That's...that's pretty, that's uh, really unfor...I'm really sorry that that happened.

Ari 

[Crosstalking.] Oh my god.

Olivia

I'm pushing Ig physically behind me. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

Yeah.

Hallie

As you're doing that, Shannon will go,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

It's kind of a shame though, because I've always really wanted to learn to juggle fire and also to be a mechanic and there's just a lot of things I want to learn um, but that's okay. It's probably not you. Um, look I can take you to the library if you want?

Emily 

[Enthusiastically.] Ig is going to perk up. 

Cassidy 

Oh no.

Emily 

And I will give you a chance to try and stop them from declaring that they can teach this girl fire. 

Cassidy 

[Amused.] I'll allow it. 

Olivia

I feel like Hannelore's like, should try. 

Hallie

Are you making opposing roles?

Olivia

Okay. What kind of check is that going to be, boss man. 

Hallie

That's gonna be, um.

Olivia

Probably doesn't matter. I rolled a two. 

Ari 

Oh, no.

Emily 

[Gasps.] I thought that you were gonna stop me because I only rolled an eight. 

Ari 

[Louder.] Oh, no!

Cassidy 

[Laughter.] Get 'em out now. It's okay 

Hallie

Ig succeeds.

Emily (as Ig)

[Bright, impish music, Ig’s theme, begins to play.]

Wait a second. You've always wanted to learn to juggle fire?

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Yeah. I just, ever since that traveling carnival came through it was like, wow, fire's destructive, but kind of cool and you know what? I was really happy with the nuns. They, uh, saw what would it...aptitude! They said I had aptitude, so they sent me to the University of Qi and I'm really happy here. 

Olivia

Can I, uh. 

[00:05:00] 

Can Hannelore do some sort of check to see if Shannon is really happy? 

Hallie

Yes, you can. You can do like, uh, like a sense motive check or like a perception. 

Olivia

Oh.

[Dice roll.]

I got an eleven!

Hallie

Oh, yeah! You can tell she is in the middle. She's not lying. 

Cassidy 

[A little surprised.] Ohh.

Hallie

There's like something beneath the surface that she isn't quite happy about.

Emily (as Ig)

I can teach you. Just, if you have an aptitude? I'm not sure if they meant like an aptitude for something else, but I'm assuming that because we were talking about fire juggling, they thought you had an aptitude for that. [Gleefully.] Wanna practice?

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Oh my gosh. I'd love to, but not here, because this is an office and I work for Professor Brackleberry, and I don't want to get fired from my part-time student job. [Whispering.] She has a lot of puzzles in here, a lot of papers.

[The music stops.]

Some of them look really important. A lot of them have, like, E.B. written on them. And I filed those away in the corner. I don't want to burn those, because she gets really sad about those a lot.

Emily (as Ig)

Good call because I was just about to start a fire!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Okay. Yeah!

Ari (as A.Lex) 

You know, kid, you can always find time to pursue your passions. So I think that you can, if you really want to learn about this, you can make the effort to do it. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Brightly.] Thank you. That means a lot coming from you. What's your name? 

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Oh, it's A.Lex!

Ari 

And she's gonna just extend a hand.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Crosstalking.] A.Lex! It's so nice to meet you.

Hallie

She will shake your hand.

Ari

Cool. And then in that hand, she has, uh, like a piece of paper that has a lot of, of facts about fire, as they shake hands, so that she has that.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Well, it's stupid that books are banned, but paper with a lot of information in it isn't, so here you go. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Hesitantly.] Um, it depends on whether it's for a project. If it's for a school project then yes, it's for a personal project then no. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Totally! 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Well, you can make the argument that you can make this school project a personal project, right?

Hallie

At that, another voice sounds from behind you and says,

Hallie (as mysterious voice)

Believe me, we've tried.

[Grooving electric guitar music begins to play.]

Hallie

And then in these doorway, leaning very casually in a way that's almost reminiscent of Madeline Jefferjames, is another girl who looks about Shannon's age. It's not Madeline Jefferjames, just, like, her vibe kinda reminds you. Um. And in the doorway is a girl who can best be described as an elegant ragamuffin. 

She is wearing a large, loose hoodie with the hood pulled up around her face, and her hands stuffed in her pockets, but in her face is something very, like, put together and classical, like, Audrey Hepburn. Imagine, like, Audrey Hepburn's face sticking out of like a rumpled hoodie. And she looks very serene, but in a way that says I'm better than you. 

She is holding what looks like a peppermint stick, like one of those peppermint candies that looks like a cigarette, out of the corner of her mouth, and she says,

Hallie (as mysterious voice/elegant ragamuffin)

You can make things happen, if you want to. 

[The music fades out.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Uh, where will we go for the books that have been donated?

Hallie (as elegant ragamuffin)

You mean confiscated?

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

No, I mean donated, Charlotte. Everyone, this is my friend Charlotte.

Hallie

And Charlotte will respond,

Hallie (as elegant ragamuffin/Charlotte N.)

No, you mean confiscated. What are you all doing here? 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

We are on a very important secret mission from the queen, you may have heard of her. And we need to access some books that belong to Professor...name who I know. Rohmia. Professor Bwackle. Professor Roma Brackleberry. Brickleberry.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Brackleberry. Professor Bracka, Brackleberry.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

It's a hard one for me to say. Rohmia?

Emily 

[A little pained.] Ramya.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Brackleberry. Ramya.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Dryly.] It's on the door.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Well. Professor B! 

Emily 

[Still pained.] Ramya! 

Hallie

She somehow...[Amused.] Professor B.

Olivia

[Laughter.]

Hallie

She was already, like her legs were kind of crossed and she was already leaning against the door. She somehow leans even more casually into the door when you say that, and then she looks all of you up and down, glitter to hat. 

Cassidy 

Mmm-hmm.

Olivia

Hannelore does take the hat off now.

Hallie

And is like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Official business from the queen, huh? 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Yeah.

[Laughter from the party.]

Ari 

Um, and that, uh, at seeing, uhh, this new girl, A.Lex is just going to use momentarily, her face is going to get super red really momentarily, and she's just gonna just stare a bit it, and, and then she's gonna just like, gain her composure, or try to at least, just for, like, a second, like, it's like blink and you miss it. And then she's going to be like, 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah, so, if you don't mind just aiding us with this mission, missus...

Olivia

Hmm. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Charlotte. Charlotte N.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Charlotte N.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Wryly.] Great. So nice to meet you, Charlotte.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Lovely name.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Yeah, nice to meet you too. What's, what's your name? 

Hallie

And then she's going to look down the line with the clear expectation everyone says their names.

Ari  

She's just going to say,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Angelina Lexington.

Olivia

I nudge Ig.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Whispers.] She wants you to say your name.

Emily 

Is Ig next in line?

Cassidy 

Yep!

Emily (as Ig)

I am the Incredible Igneous Artiste of Astaria. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[A little suspicious.] Alright.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

I'm Eraf.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Eraf. [Intrigued.] Eraf what?

Olivia

Oh, no.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[A little resigned.] Eraf Xindal.

Hallie

She straightens up hearing that name and then goes, 

[00:10:00]

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Ari 

Oh no!

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

The Eraf Xindal, who went to University of Qi?

[Mysterious, dramatic music begins to play.] 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Not as enthused.] I was kind of hoping to avoid this, but yes.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Why? You're a legend!

Cassidy (as Eraf)

That's what I was...

Emily (as Ig)

[Crosstalking, very excited.] Eraf is a legend?

Olivia

Hannelore is just looking at Eraf with the biggest grin.

[The music intensifies.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Thank you. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Clearly amused.] What did you do, bud?

Hallie

She's gonna close the door behind her at this.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Whispering conspiratorially.] Eraf Xindal snuck in just an overwhelming number of books. You know, I'm sure you know by now because Qi University really likes to broadcast this, but they ban books. All books. There's no reading material except the Library.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Are there magazines?

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Frustrated sigh.]

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Angrily whispering.] Five weeks.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

How did you learn anything?!

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

The teachers lecture. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

I know but really, you know, teachers are fallible to a degree. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

It just feels like libraries are an important part of all education.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Look, that's what we all say, but Qi likes to make sure we learn what they want us to learn.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

As in, the administration.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Got it.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

As in, they can shove a stick somewhere. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

But Eraf here, she was a ringleader of a legendary gang that snuck in books. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Intrigued, but teasing a little.] A gang?

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Yes, I was. And... 

Emily (as Ig)

[Genuinely excited.] A gang?

Ari

A.Lex is gonna look impressed at her. 

Emily (as Ig)

Kind of like my circus troupe!

[Laughter from the party.]

Ari 

[Quietly.] Oh no.

Hallie

Charlotte looks really skeptical at that, almost offended that you're comparing legendary hero Eraf Xindal to a random circus troupe, but she's, but Shannon, like, claps from her, from the desk.

Olivia

Hannelore makes the cut, Hannelore makes the cut it gesture, just a little bit, at Ig.

[Laughter from the party.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Um, yeah. Um.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

You were in a book gang?

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Well, it was one of the better ways to get things learned.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Genuinely impressed now.] Cool.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Um, more or less. It was...it was a good time. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

I...am positively impressed.

Emily (as Ig)

[Excitedly.] Did you call yourselves the bookworms? 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Um, which means this shouldn't be too difficult to achieve if we really need to get our book.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Something about you makes me trust you instantly, Charlotte.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

You're looking for a book. I can help you get a book.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Charlotte N? How is it spelled, E-N? Or is it just the letter N.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Charlotte N. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Just the letter N.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Charlotte N.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

And does that stand for anything, or is it just–

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Crosstalking.] None of your business.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

None of your business. Charlotte, none of your business. Nice.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Laughing a little.] The N stands for Nunya.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Impressed.] Oh!

Hallie

Even though she's not done yet with her peppermint stick, she tosses it into a garbage can and pulls a different one out of her pocket and starts on that one.

Olivia

[Dryly.] Shit. Nothing is cooler than waste.

Cassidy 

I want to see how Shannon feels about all this, because she, you know, I don't know if she's gonna be upset by it, breaking the rules. Because this is essentially what we're going to be doing. 

Emily 

Someone should probably stop Ig from going for the candy in the bin. 

Cassidy 

I'll just reach out and snag her by the sleeve.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Ig. Ig. You shouldn't eat things that you find.

Emily 

Just sticking their hand in there.

Hallie

Actually, at that, Shannon will say,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Hesitant.] Okay, but Charlotte, we have to try to help them with the rules this time. Okay? Not everything needs to be solved with delinquency immediately. [A little quieter, frustrated.] That's why we're not on the boat.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

Charlotte's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Look, the rules were made to keep us off the boat in the first place.

Olivia

[A loud snort and laughter.] Charlotte just sounds a little bit like Squid, Squidward. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

And so I'm just imagining, like, when Squidward went to the...

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking, amused.] Oh, no.

Olivia

The village of Squidwards. 

Ari 

Yeah.

Olivia

I'm just imagining a lady Squidward. Elegant, like Audrey Hepburn.

Hallie

[Laughing.] Yes. 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

No, I'm glad you two aren't on the boat, because you're here to help us. And this will help your education. Believe me, the only way to really learn anything here is to push yourself, keep pushing yourself, and sometimes that takes breaking some rules. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

See, she gets it!

Emily 

Ig claps.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

So what book are you looking for? 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Oh, Charlotte. They're looking for a recipe book, Professor Brackleberry's recipe book. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Disappointed.] Oh. So we gotta go to the actual library then.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[A little apologetic.] Yeah. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

All right. Well, follow me.

Hallie

And then Shannon and Charlotte will escort you out of the office, and you will head towards the library. 

Olivia

I'll be, I'll be, Hannelore will be the caboose, make sure Ig doesn't wander off. On the way there, can Hannelore ask, talk...can she talk to Shannon? 

Hallie

Yeah, anyone can talk to anyone. You're all in a group. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Uh, hey Shannon. So you're from the, the nunnery. 

[A gentle, tinkling children's lullaby begins to play.] 

Yeah, how is it there? The last, last time you saw it? 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Wyrfall! Yeah! Oh, it's doing really well. Uh, we fixed all the tractors. There's a boy there named George who fixed all of them. I helped a little bit, uh, but I had so much schoolwork last time I visited back home that I didn't really get the chance to get under the motor.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah, you said that you wanted to learn to be a mechanic. And I'm surprised that you didn't learn anything from Zara. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Oh no, I did! Zara taught me everything. I am far more competent than the average.. .not-mechanic. It's just that, I'm also really good at, you know, organizing and, and filing stuff. I even invented...

Hallie

And she's gonna flip through her bifocals. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

I invented 

[00:15:00] 

a color coding system using invisible ink, so as not to mess up Professor Brackleberry's notes.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Genuinely impressed.] That's really cool. Very nice! 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Genius!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Thanks! So I just, I just have a lot of interests, you know? I want, I want to learn a lot, so they sent me to the University because the University has a wide range of majors to choose from! So I'm still in the exploratory phase, uh, but I do really like mechanics. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Huh! And it's a noble profession pursued by brave, good-looking people. 

[A snort from the party.] 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

I agree. [Excitedly.] Are you a mechanic? 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Uh, me? 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Yeah! 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Oh, yeah, little-little bit. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

[Amused.] Shannon shouts ahead to Charlotte. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Charlotte, Charlotte, Hannelore's a mechanic! 

Hallie

And Charlotte, without even turning around, is like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

That's great, Shannon.

Emily (as Ig)

This seems like a really sad school. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I was just thinking the same thing, Ig. 

Emily (as Ig)

Eraf, why would you go here? 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Well, I mean my parents sent me here thinking it was a good idea, and to a degree it was. I learned how to control a lot of my Nano abilities, and I did learn a lot, but I did have to take some measures into my own hands. 

Emily (as Ig)

I guess it would be a good idea for someone to get taught how to use their Nano abilities.

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Ehh.

Hallie

Charlotte shrugs. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

You know, how did you end up in this crap school anyway? 

[Laughter from the party.]

I mean, I just think you really don't seem like the type to be in here. You seem way less indoctrinated? I suppose. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Pleased.] Thank you. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Qi has a reputation for, ah, weeding out the unruly students. You know, you got an unruly kid, send them to Qi, they'll come out refined or whatever. I don't really want any part of it. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

But it's a good school!

Hallie

Shannon pipes in, and Charlotte's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Frustrated noise.]

[Laughter from the party.]

Olivia

Her nose bouncing like a balloon.

[Laughter from the party.]

Oh, sorry!

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Did your parents also send you here?

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Yeah.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah? Eh. Do you have at least, close to graduating? 

Ari 

And she's gonna do air quotes of that. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Nah, I'm a sophomore. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Uh, are you allowed to choose the–are you allowed to transfer? Can you transfer your credits to a book, a university that allows books? 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

If your parents will pay for it. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Oh. It makes sense. Qi is a cost-effective. It makes sense that they don't have to spend as much money on things because they don't have a library or any books to maintain. Their cost for fire insurance must be, you know, 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Sheepishly.] It's actually really nice here.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

In what way is it nice? 

[Laughter from the party.]

It seems so restrictive.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Grasping.] Well, we have a really good cafeteria. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Oh!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

With a lot of different foods, like hat dags. 

Olivia

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Hot hounds.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Hat dags.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Hot hounds!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Those too! Uh, and–

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Crosstalking.] She must be from the south.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Cultural differences.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

A lot of really yummy food, and there are events sometimes? And we have, um, a pretty good student council?

Hallie

At which point, Charlotte whips around and goes,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Angrily.] Fuck the student council.

Ari

A.Lex is gonna raise her hand at that, even though she doesn't know anything about the student council. She's like,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Preach!

Hallie

Charlotte's like,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins)  

I mean, that too!

[Laughter from the party.]

Olivia

She just is anti-establishment? Awesome.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

You know, you guys, plenty of successful people that you know, standing in front of you, didn't go to college. So you don't have to go here.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

And especially not to Qi, I would imagine. Like...

Hallie

What?

Ari (as A.Lex) 

And really, I mean, the actual successful ones that went to Qi, from what I'm seeing, are the ones that rebelled against the system. 

Ari 

And then she's gonna turn to look at Eraf, at that comment.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

It's not always a choice, that you get sent here. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

It's true, but you can choose to not follow the rules, like you two are doing.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

You're right.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

And like you can start doing!

Ari 

And she's, she's gonna look at, at Shannon.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

It's never late, never too late to join.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Never too late to be a rebel. 

Hallie

Shannon goes,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Oh, no, I'm part of Charlotte's gang!

[Laughter from the party.] 

Hallie

And Charlotte goes,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Shushing noise.] Shannon, that's on the DL.

Hallie

And she's like,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Right, right. I'm sorry. No. I, I, Ithink that the school should provide, or let us read books. [Reluctantly.] But you know, for the most part, I'm pretty happy here. But I just, I do want to make sure everyone has access to books, because, uh, I really like YA novels, and it kind of, uh.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Crosstalking.] We all do. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

You know, I, it kind of sucks not having any personal reading material, but it's okay.

Hallie

And then Charlotte will add,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.) 

You know, we could get expelled but we're just too good at what we do. 

Ari 

A.Lex is going to smile at that, like. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah, totally.

Ari 

A slight chuckle.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Yep. You have to be.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Are you, are you really happy here Shannon? Because from what you told me, like, the only positive thing 

[00:20:00] 

you've said about this school is the food, and I can't imagine it's any good if they're not following recipes. Like, it's probably not even a good food if they don't have a cook book to look at!

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah.

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

I mean, well, they, they have recipes, you know, you know...

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah, but like what if they forget them? You need to write stuff down. That's how you remember things!

Ari 

And she's gonna like, raise like three of her things, of her little books, notebooks that she has.

Hallie

She's gonna look at your books and be like, 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Look at all the paper! Do you need a coding system, because I invented color-coded invisible ink.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

I would like to hear more about that. I do have a coding system of my own but I, I'm never opposed to implementing new things into my writings. 

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

It's really useful if you don't want to clutter too much of the page, and then you can use one page to write, like, seven pages of notes! It's very economical.

Ari 

She's gonna–

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

[Crosstalking.] You can see them with these bifocals!

Ari 

She's gonna show her one of her pages, which is, like, really tiny letters. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

And filling the whole, like, the whole paper, kind of like,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Kind of like this?

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Wow, yeah, but see, if you wrote this in different colors, and then layered them on top of each other so that you couldn't see them unless you were using like bifocals like these, uh, then you could fit even more on one page!

Ari 

She's just gonna, like, smile really widely and be like,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Hm. I do need to learn more about this, this. You are, see, you truly are a genius at this! At least you're taking, these abilities could be expended even more if you just, you know, stop saying that you like it when, you know, you could be learning so much more if you had books around!

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Um, I know. But, you know...

Hallie

And then Charlotte'll go,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

There have been attempts in the past to get them to change their rules and they just won't.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Yeah, I can imagine that. I don't know. I mean who is the principal? Like, how–

[Dramatic, inspiring trumpet music begins to play with a military drumbeat.] 

Is there a way to, you know, slowly taking over the high office?

Hallie

Charlotte's eyes light up. 

[Laughter from the party.] 

And she's like, 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

That is a plan I have never considered.

Hallie

And Shannon's like,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Charlotte. I know that the school is unfair, but you have to graduate!

Ari 

A.Lex is going to smile and say, like,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Perhaps you could start considering it now.

Hallie

Charlotte definitely is. 

Olivia

Just put a pin in that one. 

Hallie

Charlotte is doing that, like, finger wag, when someone has like a really good idea and you don't have an immediate response because you're just too excited by what it is they said.

Ari 

A.Lex is going to imitate that.

[Laughter.]

Emily 

Ig is gonna do it too.

[Laughter from the party.]

Cassidy 

Oh, boy.

Olivia

She's so beautiful.

[The music swells patriotically.]

Hallie

[The music fades.]

Welcome back to The Cookie Two! I have one main announcement today, and that's that Kyle just released a Roulettia module! This 21-page module outlines locations, NPCs, items etc, to be used with the cipher system, which is the rules that the Numenera uses. Old favorites like Tommy Funbuck and [Through gritted teeth.] Lorraine Stiles are in the book, but there are some new things there as well, including the Gummy Gang, a crime family of little Gummy Bear people. First they're sweet, then they're sour. The module is called Welcome to Swagtacular Roulettia, and can be found on Drive-thru RPG. That's thru, spelled T-H-R-U. There should be a link at the bottom of whatever page you're listening on, and we hope that you check it out, because we all think it's really cool. We're really proud of Kyle for it.

But enough about Kyle! This miniseries is to celebrate Women in Gaming, and although that was back in June, you should check out the Women in Tabletop month site. It's very cool. They have a lot of stories, some interviews, some videos, some streams and some resources if you're looking to get into tabletop gaming or finding other people to play with. The website is WomenInTabletopMonth.com and their Twitter handle is @TabletopWomen. Again, thanks so much for listening. The next episode of the main campaign will come out on Monday, July 22nd, and the third part of The Cookie Two will be out on Monday, July 29th.

[The music swells again.]

[00:25:00]

Hallie

The library is quiet, but loud. 

[Dramatic, futuristic music begins to play in steady, even chiming tones.] 

It's not exactly ornate, but there's something extra about it. For instance, the bookshelves that extend past the unnecessarily large and imposing reception desk are angled just so, so that you can see the edges of each additional shelf past the one in front of it, which gives it the impression of a confusing 3D painting rather than, like, a real three-dimensional space that is before you. 

Um, and it's quiet, but because it's so quiet, all of the micro sounds in the background, the whispers, and the paper shuffling at the staplers, and the whish of the ladders with the wheels are all amplified into a cacophonous hush. So as you enter, Shannon will approach the librarian's desk and she says,

[The music fades.]

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

Hello! I'm Professor Brackleberry's office assistant. I'm hoping to check out a book right away.

Hallie

And the librarian is like,

Hallie (as the librarian)

Certainly, I'll just need those forms.

Hallie

And Shannon goes,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins) 

No, I mean right away? Like I was hoping to get the book today.

Hallie

And the librarian looks completely aghast at the suggestion and says, 

Hallie (as the librarian)

I'm afraid not. You know the rules, Miss Iggins. There is a five-week waiting period for any new materials to be checked out.

Cassidy 

Can Eraf step forward, and just kind of–

Hallie

[Crosstalking.] Absolutely..

Cassidy 

And just kind of...

Hallie

Your cape is, your cape is doing its thing because you're inside.

Cassidy 

Look her best, imposing. [Laughter.] Yeah. Yep. And she is going to say,

Cassidy (as Eraf)

We are with her majesty, Anastasia Brackleberry, on urgent business. It must be done today. 

Hallie (as the librarian)

So? 

Ari 

So I, I have a thing called Steely Gaze. 

Olivia

[Intrigued.] Oooh.

Ari 

Meaning, as you stare around at them, foes within immediate range of you lose their resolve and the difficulty of their action is increased by one step. Like, I basically want to, like, kind of just intimidate her while Eraf is saying her spiel, kind of.

Hallie

Okay! Just stand in the background?

Ari 

Yeah, exactly. I'm also trained in intimidation. So I want to also try and intimidate her by doing this. 

Hallie

Okay, so go for it. 

Ari 

Okay, I guess I can roll. [Dice roll.] And see what this dice has for me. I rolled a ten.

Hallie

It doesn't quite work. Um, the librarian just kind of looks at you, and then not the figure wag, but does like the, tsk, tsk, like he's not above chastising adults. So. Um. The librarian just kind of, like, moves his chair to the side a little bit so that he is directly in front of Eraf, who was still talking, instead of visible to you.

Cassidy 

[Chuckling.]

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Yeah, so I don't think that the University of Qi is above Her Majesty, and that you could bend a few rules in order to acquire this book for us.

Hallie (as the librarian)

The University of Qi is above everyone.

Cassidy 

Oh, snap.

Olivia

Ohh.

Hallie

[Laughing.] And in the background, Charlotte's like throwing up her hands, like, yeah, this is what I deal with.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

And Shannon next to you is like,

Hallie (as Shannon Iggins)

It's really...

Ari 

[Crosstalking.] I want to like just retroactively say that, that A.Lex also raises her hands at first reaction, at the same time as Charlotte does.

Olivia

Awww.

Cassidy 

I want to try to see if there's any possible way we can reason with this, this impossible person. 

Hallie

Okay!

Cassidy 

Because I have this Discerning Disposition skill, and I think I just want to know if she's willing to negotiate, or if she is hard set on not letting us get this book today. Um. Do you want me to roll for that? Yeah. 

[Dice roll.] Gosh. I have no idea. I got another twelve. I guess I keep rolling twelves.

Hallie

Alright, that is enough. 

Cassidy 

Ha ha. 

Hallie

You can tell that this librarian Is is not gonna, gonna play ball with you. He looks like Anton Ego.

Cassidy 

A little bit?

Hallie

From Ratatouille. No, he's going to defend the scruples of the institution for which he works to the death. 

[Haughty, slightly nefarious jazz music begins to play, as if to signal the approach of someone unpleasant.]

But, uh, as you realize this, two figures walk past from behind the desk. 

Olivia

[Crosstalking, whispering.] Are they octopus figures.

Hallie

They are not. They are human figures.They are both wearing–

Olivia

[Relieved, still whispering.] Oh, okay.

Hallie

Letterman's jackets, that have giant Qs all over them.

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

All

Qs.

Olivia

[Wryly.] Okay.

Hallie

Like the Riddler's jacket, from Batman, but just Qs instead of question marks. And they're on their way out, and they glanced over at Charlotte and Shannon, and one who is wearing several shades of purple underneath her jacket and has indigo scarf tied around her hair, kind of crosses her arms and goes,

Hallie (as indigo mean girl) 

Charlotte N.? Checking out a book? 

Hallie

And Charlotte goes,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Not on your life.

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Olivia

I'm a librarian. I keep the books.

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking.] So feisty.

Hallie

And then Magenta, she, the, the person, glances over the rest of the party and goes,

Hallie (as Magenta)

And who might these new recruits to be?

Cassidy 

Yeah, Eraf's gonna mostly ignore everybody and just kind of mutter,

[00:30:00] 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

We're wasting our time here.

Cassidy 

And walk out of the library, past, without acknowledging the two new people. [Sighs.]

Hallie

Charlotte and Shannon don't, well Shannon follows you, but Charlotte kind of stays behind.

Cassidy 

A bone to pick with these people. [Laughter.]

Hallie

Yeah, yeah. And then the companion, who was with, um, the girl who spoke, is like,

Hallie (as the other Q jacket)

[With an outrageous French accent.] Charlotte N.? What could you possibly be up to today?

[Laughter from the party.]

Cassidy 

[Through laughter.] I love it. I love it.

Olivia

What's he look like?

Hallie

Uh, they, actually, they are wearing three ties that are all tied at slightly different lengths.

Olivia

Normal.

Hallie

[Through laughter.] And they have a collar that is popped up completely up to their ears. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Cassidy 

Oh my gosh.

Hallie

Their jacket is open. The other person looks very prim and proper. Um, they look a little bit more disheveled, almost jock like. 

Olivia

So they're wearing ties with their Letterman's jacket?

Hallie

Yeah, but it's, the jacket is open. 

Olivia

Yeah. Yeah. No, that looks cool. Yeah, yeah.

Hallie

Uh, they're wearing three different ties.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Dryly.] This is a great school Eraf. 

Cassidy (as Eraf)

[Sighs deeply.]

Hallie

So then um, Charlotte is speaking to them while talking backwards.

Cassidy

Walk backwards.

Hallie

Walk backwards, to walk backwards to, uh, to. Yeah. Yeah, to meet up with you and she's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Sorry student council. We've got bigger things to worry about.

Hallie

And, uh, the one in the all the ties goes, 

Hallie (as tie-wearing student council member) 

Bigger than the student council? Can you believe this, Magenta!

Hallie

And the one who's all in purple [Laughing.] is like, 

Hallie (as Magenta)

More important than the student council? What a good one, Charlotte. You're always good for a laugh.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I wouldn't dare. 

Ari

Uh, A.Lex is going to be like,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[A little aggressively.] Everything is bigger than the student council. Expand your mindset a bit. But of course, I don't think you can because of how small you are!

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

A.Lex, after you say that, roll me a perception check. 

Ari 

Perfect. I am trained in perception, by the way. 

Hallie

Okay.

Ari 

[Dice roll.] I rolled a thirteen.

Hallie

Okay. You sense a flicker of, when you say everything's more important than the student council, you sense a flicker of fear from both of them. 

Ari 

Ooh. I'm going to smile at that.

Olivia

Nice.

Hallie

And then the one, the one in all the ties, is like,

Hallie (as tie-wearing student council member)

[Sneering.] You don't even go here. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

What? 

Hallie (as tie-wearing student council member)

Do you, do you go here? I would, I would know, I'm on the student council. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

No, uh, I in fact don't, I'm too busy being the head of the treasure... 

Ari 

What, what's the actual like, title?

Hallie

Treasury, just Treasury Department. 

Ari 

Okay, I just didn't know if it was like a...

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Smugly.] Uh, yeah, I don't go here. You know, I'm too busy being the head of the Treasury Department for the queen. So, um, I don't know.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

There is life after college, you know, guys.

Hallie

[Laughter.] I'd just like to point out that A.Lex is, like, schooling a teenager at like, how cool she is being an adult with a job.

Olivia

Pretty cool. [Sarcastically.] I don't go to school here.

Cassidy 

You tell 'em, A.Lex.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

No, but I also achieved this without going to this school, and to your student council.

[Laughter from the party.]

So who is bigger now?

Olivia

I don't think your school is cool. 

Cassidy 

Let's get a roast going.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Hey Magenta, was it? What's your name? 

[Laughter from the party.

What's their name? 

Hallie (as tie-wearing student council member/Devin)

[Sneering.] Devin.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Devin? Not Tyler. 

Hallie (as Devin)

My name is Devin. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Just a wild guess.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie (as Devin)

Why would you think my name was Tyler? 

Emily (as Ig)

[Matter-of-factly.] It's cause you have ties.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

It's been that sort of day.

Hallie (as Devin)

It is professional. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

No, you look good. It looks normal and good. 

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Ig)

[Oblivious.] I don't think it looks very good. 

Hallie (as Devin)

I am getting very confusing of vibes from this party. We have, we have upstart note-taker girl over here. And then we have fake compliments from this one.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Fake, huh? What?

Hallie (as Devin)

I know it looks cool, but I don't need you to pander to me.

[Laughter from the party.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Alright, Devin. Sorry, uh, sorry for the trouble. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Indignant.] No, we're not!

[Loud laughter from the party.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Fair.

Hallie

Alright, Magenta and Devin--

Cassidy 

Oh, boy.

Hallie

Um, will like, huff and storm past, and Magenta will be like,

Hallie (as Magenta) 

I was going to give them a warm, to give your new friends a warm welcome on behalf of the student council, Charlotte, but I don't quite think they're Qi material. 

Hallie

Uh, and then.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

I'll take that as a compliment. 

Olivia

Hannelore does not take it as a compliment. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

She'll add to Devin 

[00:35:00] 

as they walk away. Um.

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Come on Devin, we've got those recipe books to sort.

Hallie

And they continue on their merry way across the quad. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Ocean's Eleven-style jazzy heist music begins to play once more.]

Is that um, is that a magenta, uh, scarf you have there, Magenta?

Cassidy

[Faintly.] Oh no.

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Why it is! I consider magenta the loveliest shade of purple.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I, uh, I think the same thing only I think it's a shade of red. 

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Well, you're wrong. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Oh.

Emily 

No, Hallie! This is all you wanted.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Hey, uh. Really cool. Hey, the student council is, sounds totally awesome. I was wondering, we're also curious about local recipes and stuff. Like, maybe we could, you could, we could go with you and help you look at the recipe books and you could tell me more really interesting stuff about how cool your school is. 

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Why would you want to do that? 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Because I respect you! [Voice breaks with laughter.]

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

[Through laughter.] Make a persuasion roll.

Emily 

Make a roll to lie.

Olivia

Okay. I got this. Don't even worry about it you guys. 

Cassidy 

Oh, dear.

Olivia

[Dice roll.] Don't even worry. That's a seventeen! That's not bad.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Because I respect you!

Cassidy 

Oh, wow.

Olivia

And I don't laugh when I say it.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

With a seventeen, alright! Magenta and Devin will shout,

Hallie (as Devin)

Finally!

[More laughter from the party.]

Hallie

And then be like, they'll nudge Magenta, 

Hallie (as Devin)

Maybe she can help us with the project. 

Hallie

And Magenta goes,

Hallie (as Magenta) 

[Shushing noise.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I don't know if I'm cool enough. I lo–I hate books though. 

Hallie (as Devin)

Exactly. She doesn't know if she's cool enough. This is...

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I hate read, I hate reading books. 

Emily

Have we split the party? Where are, where is, where are people?

Cassidy 

I'm in the hallway. 

Olivia

I think we're all, like, in the hallway in front of the library. 

Hallie

You're walking. 

Emily 

Okay. 

Hallie

So, like, the library goes to outside. So when everyone started moving outside, Charlotte and the student council were a little bit slower, and then I imagine A.Lex was also a little bit slower.

Ari 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's thinking. 

Hallie

But now you're all sort of like, in this really awkward gaggle, walking across the quad. They're going to like, an undetermined location. So Magenta will give you and eye, and then look at the rest of you and be like, 

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Why are you so interested in recipe books?

Olivia (as Hannelore)

We love food. Doesn't...

Emily (as Ig)

[Crosstalking.] I want to learn how to, how to cook things by putting them in fire. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Look, that book is a treasure. I'm a treasurer, 

Hallie

[Loud laugh.]

Ari (as A.Lex)

I collect treasures, so I am interested in the book because I want to see this treasure. That's my job. 

Cassidy 

[Sighs.] Eraf's gonna keep her mouth shut. 

[Laughter from the party.]

She's gonna say something she's gonna regret.

Olivia

Hannelore will, a little pat on her shoulder from Hannelore.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Be strong buddy.

Hallie

Magenta glances from your little posse back to Charlotte and Shannon. Charlotte is standing with her, uh, with her arms crossed. At some point she threw away the peppermint stick she had.

Olivia

Of course.

Hallie

And took out a new one. 

Olivia

Holding back Ig from, from grabbing it off the ground. 

Hallie

You don't know when. You don't know when this happened.

Emily

You don't know when, Ig has already eaten it.

Hallie

And Magenta is like,

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Charlotte, it appears your new friends...want something from us.

Hallie

And Charlotte's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Yeah, yeah. Calm down. No one needs anything from you.

Hallie

And she, and then Magenta says,

Hallie (as Magenta) 

[Like the cat that got the canary.] It seems to be quite the contrary. You've been a thorn in our side since literally the first day you stepped on campus, and you have been particularly bad during this Semester at Sky nonsense.

Hallie

And then Charlotte leans back against, and Devin adds...well, it was Devon, but I said it bad because I'm trying to do a French accent, and I just liked Devin better. So I kept it.

Cassidy 

[Amused.] Devin.

Hallie

Devin will add like, 

Hallie (as Devin)

Charlotte N.!

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[As the name clicks.] Oh. Charlatan. Charlot...oh, never mind. I thought I heard something there. Right on the tip of my tongue.

[Laughter from the party.]

Cassidy 

Ohh, the sass is real.

Hallie

And then so Devin, after screaming into the sky, like,

Hallie (as Devin)

Charlotte. 

[Western showdown music begins to play.]

I do believe if you want something from, from us, you have to give us something in return.

Hallie

And then Charlotte goes,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

[Incredulous.] Negotiate?. 

Hallie (as Magenta) 

It is about time. I know that you have that little book smuggling ring of yours. I just don't have enough to pin it on you. We were left behind to secure order and keep the peace on Qi, on, on Qi University.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

[Crosstalking, sarcastically.] I bet.

Hallie (as Magenta) 

While everyone else was at Semester at Sky. It is a high honor to be chosen for this position, on the highest honor of all, the student council. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

That's definitely why you didn't get to go on the boat, because of how important you are.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

And Devin is like,

Hallie (as Devin)

That is correct. Sometimes, nice person.

[00:40:00] 

Ari 

A.Lex is going to chuckle at that, a bit.

Hallie

And then Magenta crosses her arms and says, 

Hallie (as Magenta) 

Well, I think that if you want this recipe book so bad, you should come negotiate with us. Meet us at dawn. Cafeteria.

Olivia

I look at Charlotte.

Olivia (as Hannelore) 

Ooohh.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Dawn! 

Hallie

This is...

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking.] So dramatic.

Hallie

Charlotte is like, Charlotte wasn't leaning against the wall second ago, but she's somehow found a brick wall to like lean against with one leg propped up. And she's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Fine. Dawn. We'll see you then. 

Hallie

And then, and then, uh, Devin and Magenta will turn and walk away. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Bye guys. It was really cool to meet you.

Cassidy (as Eraf)

I thought they'd never leave.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Bye guys!

Hallie

They don't respond [Laughing.] as they walk away.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Magenta, see you later. 

Hallie

She's ignoring you.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Good riddance.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I'm gonna miss them.

Emily (as Ig)

You know, Qi is probably really lucky actually that they don't have any books.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Startled.] What?

Emily (as Ig)

Because I was getting real bored in there, and, and I was thinking that if things go south we could go back to the plan that we didn't actually get to use [The sound of crackling flames begins to rise.] last time we went on our mission where we were gonna fling, fling me off the top of Red Mary. And I was gonna be on fire, and I was gonna distract everyone, and then, and then you guys were gonna do the important stuff.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I think we're still saving that one. I think we're still planning.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

You know, hold that thought, because if this negotiation goes south, which it might be. I don't trust these people.

Hallie

Shannon is delighted by this plan. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

We will probably act on this plan of yours. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Just keep, I don't know if right now is the moment for it.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Not right now, but maybe at dawn. Who knows? 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

You guys want, like, uh, like a safe place to make your plan? 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

That would be perfect. I assume you have a location for this Charlotte. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Follow me.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

God you're cool.

Hallie

So, uh, if you all follow her, she will lead you into building adjacent to the library, and then upstairs to one of those, like, indoor connector bridges you see at exposition halls.

Olivia

There's a word for that.

Hallie

That connects one, like, building to another. She goes into the other building. 

Olivia

I'm gonna look it up. 

Cassidy 

Yeah, there is a word.

Hallie

The connector bridge. I don't know what the word is, so it's a connector bridge. 

Cassidy 

Skyway! Is it a skyway? I think it's a skyway.

Hallie

It's probably that. That sounds right. 

Cassidy 

Yeah.

Hallie

So there's, there's a, there's a skywalk that connects to the next building, to a brightly lit hallway, but Charlotte takes a very sharp right down a different hallway that you almost didn't see, because it is perfectly perpendicular to where you're currently walking. And just around the corner is a vending machine whose lights are off. Charlotte kind of like, leans against the vending machines so you can't see, like, what buttons she's pressing, but. 

Olivia

Like when you're hiding your PIN.

Hallie

Eventually she takes a little book and sticks it into the snack flap. Like, it's a library return flap. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

A.Lex is gonna nod approvingly of this. 

Hallie

So then she steps back, and she has somehow, at some point precured another peppermint stick. 

Olivia

She's so wasteful.

Hallie

That is now new in her mouth. You never saw her throw the other one away. 

Emily 

[Gleefully.] No, you didn't.

Cassidy

[Laughter.]

Hallie

And the vending machine moves to the side and reveals a slide that descends into nothing but darkness. Charlotte leans cockily against the wall, and says,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Guests first.

Emily 

Ig jumps on it. Ig's already on their way down, immediately. 

Hallie

They're just going.

Emily 

They just dove, headfirst.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I should probably make sure she doesn't light anything on fire. 

Olivia

And Hannelore is gonna cannonball after her.

Cassidy 

She has had a lot of sugar today.

Hallie

Do Eraf and...

Cassidy 

Can I wait for Charlotte?

Hallie

Yeah, you can wait. But Charlotte is also waiting for you. So there's this really tense...

[Laughter.]

Cassidy 

Yeah.

Olivia

Who can wait longer?

Cassidy 

That's fine. 

Hallie

You gonna go?

Cassidy 

I'll wait.

Hallie

A.Lex, are you going down?

Ari 

Yes. 

Hallie

Okay, so it's just Eraf, it's just Eraf, and Shannon.

Cassidy 

And Charlotte.

Hallie

And Charlotte in the hallway, and Shannon awkwardly squeezes past you and then goes down the slide, and then Charlotte's like,

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Don't want to see what's down there?

Cassidy (as Eraf)

Oh, I do. I'm just being cautious.

Cassidy 

And she'll take it, take a dive, I guess, into the slide.

Hallie

Take a dive, and then Charlotte will follow you. So the slide descends into darkness until you feel the sudden brush of heavy curtain fabric, almost like you're going through blackout curtains, uh, and your eyes are immediately assaulted by just an astounding amount of light. Everyone take two points of might damage. 

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Ahh!

Cassidy 

Oh jeez!

Ari 

What! How many? What?

Olivia

[Incredulous.] Three?

Hallie

It's like, it's like when someone shines a flashlight in your eye, uh, when you weren't expecting it. 

Cassidy

Wow.

Hallie

It just hurts. It's not gonna matter because you're gonna heal before dawn.

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking.] That's good.

Hallie

I just want to know that you all took two points of might damage from this sudden burst of light. 

[00:45:00]

Cassidy

Ow.

Hallie

So you all landed in a nest of pillows at the base of the slide, and you look around, and you are in a room that can only be described as a library speakeasy. 

[Peaceful, soothing jazz music begins to play. It's fun but calm, the perfect accompaniment for a quiet afternoon of reading.]

Cassidy 

Heh. 

Ari 

[Impressed noise.]

Hallie

However, where most speakeasies are dimly lit, this speakeasy is flooded with reading lights. Assorted lamps of varying sizes, shapes, and shades are precariously crammed onto any open table spaces, or if they're tall enough they're shoved into corners with their shades pushed back to provide the maximum amount of light. There are a few lights that look like old-fashioned gas lamps stuck on open areas of the walls, but there isn't much wall space, because the walls themselves have been converted into bookshelves that are stuffed with books. 

Arm chairs and couches, some blanket forts, and those fuzzy floor pillows from the early 2000s...

Cassidy 

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Are all, like, littering the space, and several students are lounging on or under any soft surface they can find, pouring over paperbacks, picture books, and hardcover books of every imaginable condition. Most of the students in this room are in front of a shelf that is labeled with a giant banner that says “YA: The Good Shit.”

Olivia

Nice.

Cassidy 

Drugs!

Hallie

The whole thing looks like a combination of a flea market, an antique shop, and a youth Community Center that isn't trying too hard.

Olivia

Can I just say, Italian chef gesture.

[Laughter from the party.]

Hallie

Charlotte steps up, brushes herself off a little bit, and says, 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Welcome to the Readeasy.

Ari (as A.Lex)

[Amused.] Ohhh ho ho.

Cassidy 

[Chuckling.] Oh, okay. Ahhh, I did not see that coming.

Ari 

That's, that's actually both in and out of character reaction.

Olivia

We all are.

Ari 

So you can include it.

Cassidy 

[Laughing.] Oh, jeez.

Ari 

A.Lex is going to turn to Eraf and say,

Ari (as A.Lex) 

[Incredulously.] Did you start this?

Cassidy (as Eraf)

I suppose I had a role in it. 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

Oh, you had a role. There was no speak–there was no Readeasy at the time Eraf was here, but the underground book channels were established by Eraf's time and I just picked up the slack. But the, the Readeasy is uh, it's kind of my baby.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

It's cool!

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

It'd be my thesis if I could make it my thesis.

Olivia (as Hannelore)

I think that's cool.

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

For my dissertation or whatever. 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Uh, I...if there's a way to call it a personal project.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Olivia (as Hannelore)

Then all of this wouldn't be allowed.

Ari (as A.Lex) 

You'd get sooner out of here, and. You know.

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking.] I'd like to... 

Ari (as A.Lex) 

Really...I'm really proud of this. I think it's a really good job.

Hallie

Charlotte looks legitimately, like, she's trying not to appear like she's glowing but she is glowing. She's so excited that you're all, like, impressed by this readeasy. However, several other students were actually reading are like, [Shushing noise.] Because they're all trying to read while you're just talking at the base of the slide. So Charlotte will guide you to, like, this little back office that she has.

Olivia

Heavily soundproofed, I assume.

Hallie

[Closing theme, "Road Trip" by SKANDR, begins to play.]

It's heavily soundproofed, and there's just like, one dingy light, because all the lights are in the main area. So it's like a classic detective office.

Cassidy 

[Crosstalking.] Interrogation.

Hallie

A detective who's fallen on hard times. Yeah. So she and, uh, Shannon lead you in there, and then Charlotte pops on the desk and crosses her legs and says, 

Hallie (as Charlotte N.)

So what's the plan?

[Closing theme intensifies.]

[Episode ends - 00:48:44]