Uneasy Lies the Head w/Tom, Part 2

Tom

Previously on Quest Friends…

[Intro music plays, “Liquid Nights and Disco Lights” by Miracle of Sound.]

Tom

Chaos erupts throughout the halls of Tempest High School. Mrs. Clark was blowing the whistle to call out some foul play during Three-Zone End Zone dodgeball when she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Ari (as Robyn)

Me and my team could be in charge of guarding the gym, if we’re volunteering for guarding certain areas.

Emily (as Edgar)

[Stammers.] Well… why should you guard the gym?

Hallie (as Reagan)

Because she’s on the soccer team. She’s there all the time.

Ari (as Robyn)

Yeah. I know that area pretty well.

Emily (as Edgar)

Basically, the soccer team cheated. Apparently there’s evidence in the gym, and I think the reason that she’s going back there is to cover it up.

Hallie

A slow smile spreads across Reagan’s face. She will say…

Hallie (as Reagan)

Give me five minutes.

Hallie

…and then she’ll exit stage left.

[Intro music swells and carries into the episode.]

Tom

Let’s draw another one… Ari’s turn!

Ari

Ooh, it’s me!

Emily

It’s you!

Ari

Perfect. Robyn is heading to the gym! With her soccer team.

Tom

Yes. So set the scene for us. What’s going on.

Ari

Well, what is happening is that Robyn is heading to the gym, probably rallying her trusted soccer team and her even more trusted mascot friend, Bruce Shayne, so she’s heading with all of them to the gym.

Ari (as Robyn)

Alright. So, we’ve been tasked with the important task of guarding this gym so that nobody comes in except for us, obviously, because we have been given that privilege. So yeah, just make sure to distract people from coming and to just, if people ask questions, to not mettle too much into it.

Ari

Then, after she does that, she’s going to try to figure out a way to open the door of the gym while she has this guard of people in front of her.

Tom (as Bruce)

Hell yeah, captain! Wait, we’re not letting anyone through. Isn’t that right, Chitterbats?

[Chanting, with increasing enthusiasm.] Chitterbats! Chitterbats! Chitterbats!

Ari (as Robyn)

That’s the spirit!

Tom (as Bruce)

No one’s getting through!

Uh… how many students do you think are gonna try to get in, captain?

Ari (as Robyn)

Well, I’m thinking… I know that leader of the poetry club, Edgar, has some weird fixation with getting near the gym, so keep an eye on him specifically and probably his pal Andi.

Tom (as Bruce)

Yeah… Yeah… Yeah…

Ari (as Robyn)

There also might be a little bit of issues, but other than that, I mean, just try to fend off anybody except for maybe me. You know, just say hi to people, give high-fives, take pictures with them, all that cool mascot stuff that everybody just digs into and loves.

Tom (as Bruce)

Hell yeah!

Ari (as Robyn)

Perfect. You’re the best Chitterbat I’ve ever had.

Tom (as Bruce)

[Blushes and chuckles.] Shucks, captain.

Ari

She’ll try to open the gym door. I know I don’t have a move for that.

Tom

Yeah, I don’t… So here’s what I’m thinking. The scenario doesn’t necessarily specify that it’s locked or anything, just that of course we’re supposed to stay away because the authorities have said so. I think this might actually make sense as a project.

[Tense thoughtful music begins.]

So projects are kind of catchalls for anything that doesn’t really fit inside a move but might take time to complete or is significant to the story. So whenever there’s a scheme or something that you want to accomplish that might take a little bit of time to do or falls outside of a normal box, you can start a project. The project moves are on your playbooks, because they’re not basic moves.

Ari

Oh! These things.

Tom

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The flavoring is different for each of them, but they all basically function the same in that, like normal, we treat it as a move, we either vote whether we want the project to succeed or fail. In character, our characters of course won’t know anything that they didn’t reasonably know, but out of character you’ll state what the project is for, like searching the gym for something or other.

Then, based upon whether the move succeeds or fails, that will determine the timer it will take to complete that project. Projects tick up when it’s not your turn, so when someone takes a turn, everyone else who isn’t taking a turn who has a project, those start ticking closer to completion.

Ari

So, can I say out of character what Robyn would say is the reason for looking into the gym?

Tom

The book is unclear how honest you have to be about this. I would argue, when you’re stating out of character what the project is for, you don’t have to state the reasoning behind it exactly. You can be a little misleading so long as you’re not lying about what the project actually does, because there’s no game master to tell what did or did not happen.

[00:05:00]

Ari

Okay.

Tom

You can be very vague about what it’s supposed to be for so that nobody really knows exactly what you’re up to.

Ari

Okay. The project is just to get inside the gym so that she can look all over it for clues about what might have happened to the principal, because she also really likes all that detective stuff, so she wants to…

Tom

Oh, you mean the gym teacher who disappeared?

Ari

Yeah! Because she disappeared in the gym, right? So maybe there’s something in the gym that she can find.

Tom

Okay. Yeah, so then we get ready for our vote. On the count of three we either thumbs up or thumbs down.

Ari

God.

Tom

Three, two, one.

[Music ends.]

Ari

Oh! You thumbed it up, Hallie. I thought you were gonna thumb it down.

Hallie

I’ve got agendas.

[Laughter.]

Ari

Okay. Okay.

Hallie

Don’t worry about what I do or don’t, or say to other players. Like, don’t worry about it.

Tom

This is all… all good. So yeah, that means it is a Difficulty 2 roll, so it’ll be basically like another move. You spend tokens to add dice that you can roll, and anyone who voted yes can also contribute dice if we so choose, and Emily can also contribute opposing dice if she so chooses.

Ari

Can I spend a token to add another die?

Tom

Yes. You can spend the token you drew to add a die. You can also spend more tokens if you want. Did you wanna spend 2 tokens?

Ari

Yeah.

Tom

Alrighty.

Emily

I will spend 2 tokens.

Tom

What’s your Animosity level with Robyn?

Emily

I have 1 Alliance.

Tom

So that means, because you have no Animosity with Robyn, you would have to spend 2 tokens just to get one die opposing.

Emily

Yeah.

Tom

Because you just aren’t that opposed to Robyn, so it’s harder to get in Robyn’s way.

Emily

That makes sense.

Tom

So did you want to spend anything?

Emily

Yeah. I’m gonna get a die.

Tom

Okay, 2 tokens for one die.

Emily

For two tokens, yeah.

Tom

Alright. I will roll your opposing die, and then Ari, you got your two dice?

Ari

I’m debating. No, okay, that’s fine. I was debating if I should add another token, because I really wanna get into the gym.

Tom

I should note that if the roll fails the project does not fail, it just has a longer counter.

Ari

Oh~

Tom

So, if the roll succeeds, the project has a number of steps equal to 5 minus the number of players who voted yes, so that means, if it succeeds, it will be two turns until you complete your project. On a failure, it’s 5 plus the number of people who voted no, so if the roll fails, it’s a 6 turn project.

Ari

Ooh.

Tom

So it’s not a small stretch of time.

Ari

Given how long our turns take, it’s definitely not a small stretch of time.

[Laughter.]

Tom

It’s a significant change, but the project will go ahead regardless of what happens.

Ari

I’m gonna spend another token. It’s fine.

Tom

Alright, so you get three dice. Hallie, are you putting in anything? I’m not contributing anything at this time.

Hallie

Nope.

Tom

So I will roll Emily’s.

Ari

So do I roll three times?

Tom

Yeah. You just wanna remember each number you got.

Ari

Yeah. Okay.

[Rolls.] I got two 2s and one 6.

Tom

[Rolls.] I got a 6.

Ari

Oh no! Oh no.

[Laughter.]

Tom

That means they were not unique faces, so the roll does fail.

Emily

Oh~!

Tom

You got 6!

Emily

I’m sorry!

Hallie

You got 6!

Ari

I got 6.

Tom

So that means you will want to note down, either on a Word Doc or piece of paper or whatever, that you have 6 turns until, um…

Ari

Aww, that’s so long!

Tom

…until it completes.

Ari

That’s the entire game.

Emily

Aww. I’m sorry.

Tom

You’re also not stuck there. You can continue having scenes doing stuff as well. The project won’t advance during your turns, but anyone else’s turn it will advance. This will just be going on in the background that Robyn is frantically searching the gym.

Emily

I’m sorry. I assumed that I was not gonna—

Ari

No, it’s fine. I just don’t have any other plans. That’s all I have.

Tom

I am very sorry.

Ari

I’m gonna get into the gym at like 11:00.

Tom

This is fine. It’ll be all good. Also, it’s Ari’s turn again.

[Laughter.]

Ari

Well, I don't know. I have nothing to do. I guess I can just spend a move to… Well, I mean, I was thinking of using Keen Strategic Mind, because if I call my experienced league and army to counter the plans of another—choose a project… I was thinking of trying to convince even more of my rite to be guarding the gym so that if Edgar or anybody else wants to take me out of them it will be harder.

Tom

Ooh! So like do a project to make the students think that you and your team are the only ones.

Ari

Yeah, that should be near the gym specifically.

Tom

Yes. Let’s do that, and I know exactly how to handle it in a way that Robyn does not even personally have to be involved, because I can take on this mantle as your trusted lackey.

Ari

[Smiling.] Okay. You should do it then.

Tom

Alright. Alright.

[00:10:00]

[Claps.] So, a short time later after that, let’s say we are in the hallway outside the gym and a crowd of students happened to gather there, because of course people are here.

[Crowd ambience begins.]

There’s a line of soccer players, arms crossed, standing in front of it like oh yeah, no, we’re not letting anyone in.

[Marching band music begins.]

And then there’s fucking Bruce, in the bat costume, fist-bumping in the air.

Tom (as Bruce)

Robyn Riviera! Chitterbats! Come on, tempest! What are we talking about here? Something goes wrong in the gym, who are you gonna call? … The Chitterbats! Do you want the poetry club standing out here?

Tom (as crowd)

Boo. No.

Ari

[Laughs.]

Tom (as Bruce)

No! Chitterbats! Chitterbats rule, monsters drool!

Tom

Bruce is just whipping the crowd up into a fervor and is going to be doing so for as long as there are students out here, simultaneously distracting them as Robyn had ordered but also hyping them up.

[Music ends.]

If you don’t mind, I actually have a suggestion for how this could take effect, because in our notebook we have another section called Public Opinions.

Others

Ooh.

Tom

What if this is a project to make it a public opinion that the soccer team should be guarding the gym, it’s their job?

Ari

Yeah. Well, in that case, I guess the project would be Captain of the Guard, when you use the respect of the people or the might of your guards to enact your plans.

Tom

Oh, hold on. Let me take a look, because you only have one project move to start projects. The other project move is actually to sabotage someone else’s project.

Ari

Yeah. Oh, yeah, right.

Tom

Honestly, I’m not sure why they put them there as special moves when they’re pretty clearly generic moves, but yeah, let’s do a vote. On the count of three, thumbs up or thumbs down to make this a public opinion.

Ari

Oh…

Tom

Woohoo. So that is Difficulty 3 now.

Ari

I’ll spend my last token, because I have nothing else.

Tom

Well you have 2 tokens right now because you drew one as well, so you can put two dice in if you want.

Ari

Sure. I have nothing else planned.

Emily

[Huffs.] I should… Hmm.

Tom

[Smiling.] It will still cost you 2 tokens per single die. However, unless I contribute dice, this project will automatically fail because two dice isn’t enough to get Difficulty 3. Uh… yeah, I’ll pitch in a token.

Emily

How dare you.

Tom

You know, earn some good will.

Emily

Um… I don't know that I have enough to really pitch in.

Tom

The roll can still fail.

Emily

I’m not gonna be able to do anything else.

Tom

Each die has to roll a unique face or the roll fails anyway, so you don’t have to contribute anything if you don’t want to.

Emily

Yeah. I’m not going to.

Tom

Anyway. You roll two dice, Ari, and I will roll one.

Ari

Okay.

[Rolls.] Five and 3. Oh, thank god.

Tom

[Rolls.] And a 4! So yeah, it succeeds.

Emily

[Frustrated sounds.] No~!

Tom

Which means… I need to double-check now because it’s different because a different number of players voted. Five minus the number of players voted yes, so now 3 turns for this project. You’ll wanna note that down. You still have 6 turns to complete the investigation project and then 3 turns to convince people for the public opinion project.

Then I shall put these into discard… Alright, drawing again. That’s a game token. That stays out for now. Basically, when the end of round token comes out we vote whether or not we want the round to end or if we want to keep playing in it, but the more game tokens there are on the field the harder it is for us to not move into the next round, as a measure to keep people from stalling too hard.

Ooh, it’s my turn. So, I’m trying to think of the best way to do this, because I want to send my good lackey, Roger Dodger, to do this for me, but that makes it hard for me to put my own words in your mouth. But I also wanna get—we need to get Roger Dodger out here, so yes, this is what I’ll do. I’ll make the scene be between me and Roger.

This is in the Student Council chambers. Mercy has just dismissed the other members of the Student Council after another emergency meeting and she is just stacking a bunch of signs here. Then, Roger Dodger comes in having been summoned.

Emily (as Roger)

[Awful British accent, vaguely like Ozzy Osbourne.] So I’ve been thinking of using this accent for a while because I think it sounds really great with ‘Roger Dodger.’ What do you think? Ey…? Ey, milady? Eh…?

Tom (as Mercy)

Roger, never call me that again in your life.

Emily (as Roger)

[Back to normal.] Come on~

Tom (as Mercy)

I’m willing to humor your interests, Roger, because I appreciate what you do, and you know what, your interests are valid, but don’t call me that again, okay?

Emily (as Roger)

[Accented again.] Alright, me pal.

Tom (as Mercy)

[Exhales.] Oh, this is going to be a long day, isn’t it? Okay. Anyway Roger, I have you here because there’s a very important matter.

[00:15:00]

[Classical music begins.]

I want you to pass along a message to the soccer team captain, Robyn. I’ll write down the notes here, but the gist of it is it sounds like there’s a bit of a conflict going on between the main clubs and I had some advice on how she could deal with that, because I actually agree, she made some really strong arguments in our meeting earlier that the soccer team should be guarding the gym. It’s the highest priority target to guard because it’s the dangerous place that the literal authorities have told us to stay out of, and the soccer team is by far the best equipped to keep someone out of somewhere.

I was thinking that Robyn could make that claim stronger by suggesting that other clubs similarly take care of things that they are more closely connected to. That will make it seem like Robyn isn’t just doing this for her own reasons but she’s suggesting it on the merits of her idea. I’d like you to take this advice and let her know that I’ve got her back in this.

Emily (as Roger)

[Plain voice.] Alright, I getcha. I getcha. Is there any extra drama you want me to put in there?

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh no, no drama this time, although I appreciate your discretion in the past.

[Music ends abruptly.]

But also, are we just doing this now? Are we just doing new accents every five minutes? Is that a thing?

Emily (as Roger)

No, it’s just… I thought you didn’t like my other accent so I was just gonna go back to my normal voice.

Tom (as Mercy)

I’m sorry, Roger, I’m…

Emily (as Roger)

But like, if there’s a problem with my normal voice too, I can do something else!

Tom (as Mercy)

No-no, I’m a little on edge. No, that’s on me, Roger. I’m a little on edge right now. It’s been a very strange day, and well, there’s just a lot that needs to get done… but I appreciate you.

Emily (as Roger)

[Accented.] Righty-o, milady!

[Ragtime music begins.]

Tom (as Mercy)

See?! This is why! This is why I’m on edge, Roger!

[Laughter.]

Tom

Anyway. With that done, I am doing a move here, but this is one of my unique moves as the Seneschal, Council Counselor.

When you advise a member of the court on a course of action or tough situation they’re facing, say what you’re advising them to do and then give them a token from EITHER of your pools to represent your advice and roll. On a success, they can only use that token as one of their own if they take the advice to heart and pursue the course of action you suggested. On a failure, they can use the token however they see fit and when they do they’ll explain how they warp your advice to justify the action taken.

Hallie

[Chuckles.]

Tom

So, let us all vote. On the count of three, thumbs up or thumbs down.

[Music ends.]

Emily

[Laughing, confused.] Wait, what all…?

Tom

So, I’m trying to give Robyn advice, and I’ll essentially give Robyn one of my tokens…

Emily

Okay.

Tom

…with the understanding that Robyn will use this to advise that all of the clubs should be guarding their own stuff, like the Student Council should be handling the administrative offices, the athletes handling the gym, the Poetry Club handling—

Others

[Grinning.] The hallway.

Tom

…I don't know, the fucking poetry tree? That sort of thing.

Emily

No! That’s just Edgar’s tree!

Tom

Alright, alright, alright. But like, keeping people from going outside to be by the trees. Anyway. Three, two, one.

Ooh, Difficulty 3. Interesting lines being drawn in the sand here. Curious stuff, curious stuff.

Hallie

Should we be saying out loud who votes up-vote and who votes down-vote?

Tom

Oh my god!

Hallie

Because this is in fact a podcast.

Tom

Oh no! Oh no. Alright, so we’ve only ruined the episode. This is fine. Another thing for Kyle to kill me.

[Giggling.]

Emily

I feel like from context clues they will understand, but maybe moving forward…

Tom

They probably can understand, but yeah, to start doing that: Hallie and Emily voted no, myself and Ari voted yes.

Ari

Emily has voted no to all of my things. Hallie voted no to only one of my things.

Tom

Yeah, we’ve got some interesting battles going on here. Anyway.

Emily & Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

I’m gonna put in… oh, and this is gonna be all on me now.

Ari

Yeah, I can’t help you, pal. I’m sorry.

Tom

Agh! That’s unfortunate. Well, here’s the thing, here’s the thing. If a roll fails, you get a token for free and you can do whatever you want with it. But! But, in the goodness of your heart, would you still do that sort of thing?

Ari

I’m not gonna say what I’m planning to do so that this is still stressful for you.

Tom

That’s fair. That’s fair. Well, I would have to go all in to even have a chance, and I don’t want to go all in just on something like this, so I’m going to put in the one token I have to, roll a die, and automatically fail. Fuck.

[Laughter.]

Alright, well that’s the end of my turn. I’m drawing another token. It is Emily’s turn again. This is another problem with this game is that sometimes one player just doesn’t get a fucking turn for ages.

Ari

I’m sorry, Hallie.

Hallie

Yeah! It’s okay.

Tom

But like, there aren’t that many tokens in there, so it has to be Hallie’s turn soon.

Hallie

I have only like two things I wanna do.

Tom

Anyway, Emily, do you want to set a scene?

Emily

So I’m kind of afraid that this will ruin Hallie’s plans.

[00:20:00]

Hallie

No. Do whatever you want and I will adjust my very bad plans to fit your probably good ones.

Emily

So, Reagan was like “wait a sec,” right?

Hallie

Yeah. She just said give me five minutes, but she was very vague about what that could possibly mean.

Emily

[Laughing.] Well Edgar’s just gonna go off to the gym.

Hallie

Good.

[Marching band music begins.]

Emily

He comes upon the impromptu pep rally out here.

Tom (as Bruce)

Chitterbats! Chitterbats! Chitter—! Oh… Hey, Edgar.

[Music changes to silly waltz.]

Emily (as Edgar)

Hi.

Tom (as Bruce)

Whatcha doin’ around here, buddy?

Emily (as Edgar)

Doing my job as the head of one of the very important clubs of this school.

Tom (as Bruce)

Oh! What would that job be… pal?

Emily (as Edgar)

Guarding places. It’s funny because I thought the heads of the clubs were doing this job.

Tom (as Bruce)

Oh yeah, that’s real funny because Captain Riviera just came through here and told us it was our job to guard the gymitorium.

Emily (as Edgar)

So, Captain Riviera is misrepresenting the wishes of the…

Emily

Okay, out of character. There’s the Student Council and the…

Hallie

Senior class.

Emily

…senior class.

Hallie

[Laughs.] Just the whole senior class.

Tom

The government structure of the school is not 100% clear. It doesn’t line up one-to-one, but let’s just say the government of the student body. So hold on, as a response to that, the team goes silent for a second and Bruce gets up in Edgar’s face.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Bruce)

[Smug.] Are you calling the captain a liar?

Emily (as Edgar)

What I’m saying is that I need to discuss this further with your captain who seems to be in the gym where we’re not supposed to go. I better go tell her that she shouldn’t be in there.

Tom (as Bruce)

That’s a pretty big assumption. I don’t really see Captain Riviera around. You guys let Captain Riviera through? No? Oh, well, sounds like she’s not here right now. Probably at one of those big student government meetings you don’t get invited to, huh?

Ari

[Giggles.]

Emily (as Edgar)

Wow! Okay then. Not only do you rewrite my poems to make them more palatable to the masses—

Tom (as Bruce)

We paid for a very specific product and we didn’t get it.

Emily (as Edgar)

[Wounded.] It had so much soul in it… and you watered it down.

[Tense music begins.]

Tom (as Bruce)

Look, pal. We know the kind of trouble you bring around here, and we’re not having any of that. You wanna get past us? You and what army?

Emily (as Edgar)

Me and the army of—

[Music changes to upbeat jazz.]

Look over there!

Emily

[Laughing.] And he’s gonna point and try to run past.

Tom

Now I don't think there’s a move for this. Let me double-check to see if there’s anything that is remotely mechanically usable in this situation.

Emily

I have Stuck In Your Head and Singer Songwriter.

Tom

Prison Break would be breaking out of jail not breaking into somewhere. Um… Yeah, I don't think you have a mechanical thing you can do in this situation which means I’m pretty sure the team just does not turn their heads. They just stick out their arms and you just run into crossed arms and they just hold you back.

Tom (as Bruce)

You wanna get rough, pal? Don’t worry, we can get rough. We can go…

Emily

[Laughs.]

Tom

[Stammers.] Bruce is flipping his hands around like he’s… as if he’s some parody of martial arts.

Tom (as Bruce)

I’ll tear you apart.

Ari

I imagine that because they are still in the bat costume it’s just their wings just flapping around from side to side.

Tom

God, yes.

Hallie

Like a super-annoying Zubat using Confuse Ray over and over again.

Tom (as Bruce)

Go get a hockey stick, someone. I’ll show him… I’ll show him what I did in middle school on the hockey team.

Emily (as Edgar)

Robyn! Robyn!

Tom (as Bruce)

Captain Riviera can’t hear you now~

[Laughter. Music ends. Crowd ambience begins.]

Hallie (as Andi)

Uh, Edgar? Edgar… Sorry, I was watching all that.

Emily (as Edgar)

[Emotional.] Hello, Andi Morgan-Shelley. I’ve had a rough day.

Hallie (as Andi)

I know, and I know you wanna get into the gym real bad, but I don't know if this is… I mean, they’re just in a real fervor these Chitterbats are.

Tom (as Bruce)

[Chanting.] Chitterbats! Chitterbats!

Emily (as Edgar)

It’s not even a real animal!

[SFX ends abruptly.]

Tom

The crowd goes dead silent.

[Laughter.]

Tom (as Bruce)

Team… go get the dodgeballs.

Hallie (as Andi)

Oh, that ain’t good. We should skedaddle.

Emily

Edgar runs and beckons Andi to follow him.

Hallie

On their run back, Andi’s gonna be doing a lot of:

Hallie (as Andi)

Now Edgar, we kinda talked about this once.

[00:25:00]

I know that it’s super annoying for me to bring it up again, but I’m your friend so I care about you. You don’t think things through a lot.

Emily (as Edgar)

[Emotional.] I know. I’m a man of passion.

Hallie (as Andi)

Well, lots of it. That’s what attracted me… to Poetry Club in the first place.

Tom

[Snickers uncontrollably.]

Emily (as Edgar)

Thank you. That means a lot, Andi Morgan-Shelley.

Tom

I’m glad me and Ari’s brains went to the immediate same spot.

Ari

[Giggles.]

[Sentimental piano music begins.]

Hallie (as Andi)

That hallway is so vibrant and full of life, and it’s all thanks to you. You know, I… I don’t wanna see you get dodgeballed.

Emily (as Edgar)

[Emotional.] Andi Morgan-Shelley, you are the poet to my poet because we’re both poets and we’re friends. Poetry…

Tom

[Emotional.] I’m gonna cut that scene there because that’s beautiful and I don't know what you can do that can top that.

[Music ends.]

Ari

Also, I’m glad that now my character is not the one that accidentally ends up in a relationship.

Hallie

Yeah! I didn’t realize the implications of that until after I said it and I was like ‘this is what’s happening now.’

Tom

Why does Andi hang around with this kid’s nonexistent club?

Emily

Why would anyone join Poetry Club if not for a hot individual?

Hallie

They’re deeply in love now, with Daniil Dankovsky Edgar Allan Poe.

Tom

Fucking beautiful. I’m so pleased by this outcome. Anyway, I’m going back to Share Screen again. Your token remains in your active pool, so nothing is lost. Game token… Oh thank god! Hallie’s turn.

Hallie

I get a turn!

Emily

Yay!

Hallie

Yay! Okay. So, I set the scene, right?

Tom

Yeah, set the scene, and I’m gonna share the screen.

Hallie

Okay. So, Reagan last told Edgar five minutes but she didn’t actually go in the direction of the gymitorium. She went in the direction of the AV room because she’s gonna meet up with her bae, Freddie. To keep the gag going, she’s gonna snap and he’s gonna appear.

Ari (as Freddie)

Hey! Hey, did you need me now?

[Sexy music begins.]

Hallie (as Reagan)

Yeah. Babe, so…

Hallie

She takes a nervous glance at the clock.

Hallie (as Reagan)

I don't know what time we’re going to get out of here.

Ari (as Freddie)

But, we need to get out… for the thing.

Hallie (as Reagan)

I know. We can’t miss it. So listen, listen, listen. You’re in the AV Club. What are the chances you could hook up one of the TVs in there, kick everybody else out, and then we can just watch it?

Ari (as Freddie)

Oh my god. Yes, I can definitely just, you know… It might be even more romantic in there, you know, to set the mood.

Hallie (as Reagan)

[Smiling.] I know! This could be exciting. Yeah.

Ari (as Freddie)

Yeah. Alright.

Hallie

Then, I’d like to activate my project move, The Will of the Court; when you use your power as ruler to spur your charges into action. I’m gonna just load my dice to make this project happen very fast to get my boyfriend to hook up the TV for us to watch our mysterious program.

[Music ends.]

Tom

Okay, so that’s a project for your boyfriend to hook up a TV.

Ari

Is it kosher if I reveal the thing in this conversation?

Hallie

Yeah! No, go ahead, go for it.

Ari

Okay. Okay.

Ari (as Freddie)

Oh man. Yeah babe, I cannot wait to watch the finale of The Cravat Boys, our favorite detective TV show. I was really bummed because it’s so close and so I really wanted to watch it.

Hallie (as Reagan)

[Whining.] It’s the finale! We have to find out!

Ari (as Freddie)

I know! I want to know. Is the evil twin really the culprit or is she just a misunderstood soul? We need to know these mysteries.

Hallie (as Reagan)

It is so unclear, and I know that one guy was going on and on about turbo heaven, but… what the fuck is turbo heaven, you know?! Like, what will this show do next?

Ari (as Freddie)

What will it do next? We really need to know. I’m on it, I’m on it, I’m setting the AV. We need to watch it.

Hallie (as Reagan)

[Gasps, smiling.] Thank you. You’re the best.

Ari (as Freddie)

No, you are the best.

Hallie (as Reagan)

You’re the best!

Ari (as Freddie)

You are the best.

[Back and forth a few more times, increasing in pitch.]

Ari

And we’ll just keep going, so I’m just gonna…

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Yeah, we just keep going.

Tom

Alright, so on the count of three, thumbs up or thumbs down. Three, two, one.

Hallie

Yeah!

Tom

Did we all vote—? Unanimously.

Ari

We all voted thumbs up.

Emily

The first thing I voted yes to.

Tom

Which means it is a Difficulty 1, which means by spending even a single token you automatically succeed, because no matter what you roll it will be a unique face.

Hallie

[Delighted.] I spend a single token.

Tom

Coolio. Anyway, anyway, let me take a look at that again. It’s 5 minus the number of players who voted yes, so there’s literally a single turn. Also, that reminds me. Ari, have you kept track of the turns that have ticked by since your project started?

Ari

Yeah. It’s been 3 turns since I set up my second project, the Captain of the Guard one.

Tom

Perfect.

Ari

So that I think means that it has now succeeded?

[00:30:00]

Tom

Yes. That means this turn we add a public opinion that ‘yeah, yeah, the soccer team should be guarding the gym,’ so I will add that as well. Then, next turn, assuming it’s not Hallie’s turn again which would block it, the TV will be set up per your project.

Ari

Perfect. For watching The Cravat Boys.

Hallie

The Cravat Boys!

Tom

The Cravat Boys. Oh my fucking god.

Hallie

Alone in the AV room.

Ari

How romantic.

Tom

The fucking Cravat Boys. Holy shit. Anyway, let’ get that notebook opened up. Public Opinions… let’s go. [Typing sounds.]

Alright. So, at the start of this turn the TV is set up because your boyfriend is good at this.

Hallie

Woohoo!

Ari (as Freddie)

I got it!

Tom

But it is now my turn.

Emily

Oh no.

Hallie

Agh~!

Tom

Oh, I’m trying to think of what best to do in this situation.

Hallie

[Laughing.] Yeah, Mercy’s about to do some actual politicking and running around.

Emily

But is that politicking? Finding the one person who has a higher role than she does in a compromising situation using school equipment.

Hallie

I wish you hadn’t said those words.

Tom

[Chuckles.] Okay. I think I have an idea of what I’ll do. Mercy’s actually going to call upon her good pal Roger again, Roger Dodger. This time the scene is set on a hallway in the second floor. Mercy is in the process of hanging signs on various rooms.

Emily (as Roger)

What’s with the signs?

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh! Hello there, Roger. Just making sure that we get this taken care of right away.

Tom

You see that the signs say “reserved for use by the Student Council.”

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily (as Roger)

So, just to clarify, how many people are in the Student Council? And can you hear each other from the different rooms?

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh, that’s not really the purpose of the thing. It’s, um… It’s more about making sure that we have all the resources we need.

[Threatening music begins.]

Think of it less as though we need all of these rooms to meet in and more that we need all of these rooms for eventualities, and some of those eventualities include zoning out some unsightly aspects of the school. You know? If there just aren’t any rooms for a club, then well, that’s how it is, better luck next year I guess.

[Music ends.]

Anyway. Roger, I need you to break into the administrative office which we are now guarding, so you won’t have any trouble there, and I need you to—

Emily (as Roger)

Wait, wait, wait. Go back a little bit to the part where I’m breaking into administrative offices.

Tom (as Mercy)

Breaking in is such a strong word, but I think you’ll find that it was left, uh, accidentally unlocked earlier to do because all of the teachers are in the teachers’ lounge so they weren’t able to attend to the keys. But that’s a minor point. Anyway, I just need you to insert this document right here, replace the existing form with this one, which makes all of these rooms officially reserved for the Student Council, and that will be on record then.

Emily (as Roger)

Um… Okay?

Tom (as Mercy)

[Sternly.] Roger.

Emily (as Roger)

Hey, is that the newspaper classroom?!

Tom (as Mercy)

Don’t worry about the newspaper classroom. We’ll have space in the new world order. Okay? We do need to hurry, though. It’s important that we do this while everyone else is distracted fighting over the gym or wherever else they are right now.

Emily (as Roger)

[Accented.] I’m now using this accent as a coping mechanism because I’m very uncomfortable with what you just told me to do.

[Threatening evil ambience begins.]

Tom (as Mercy)

Roger?! Roger, are you having second thoughts?

Emily (as Roger)

No! No~!

Tom

And now both hands will slam so Roger is not physically pinned against the wall but Mercy is now looming over him.

Emily

Roger has pinned himself against the wall. He’s backed up and is squishing himself against it.

Emily (as Roger)

[Accented.] No second thoughts here, me pal…

Tom (as Mercy)

[Measured.] That’s good, because anyone who’s loyal to the council will be just fine. But this is our chance to take back control of the school from people who don’t even want to govern it. Where is the Senior Class President right now? Nowhere.

Emily (as Roger)

Well, if you really wanna know, I bet I could find that out for you instead of forging legal documents.

Tom (as Mercy)

But this is the important work, Roger. I know this because I can trust you, because I know you’re the only person I can trust. There’s no one else in the entire school who would be able to do something like this, not the way you can.

Emily (as Roger)

[Nervously.] It’s true. No one, uh… does underhanded dealings like Roger Dodger.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom (as Mercy)

Trust me, Roger. The school will be better off for this, and when the reckoning comes it won’t be for us.

[00:35:00]

Now, can I trust you to take care of this in a quick and discrete manner?

Emily (as Roger)

[Accented.] Quick and discrete. That’s me, Roger Dodger.

Tom (as Mercy)

Good… Good. Now hop to it, Roger. I’ve gotta finish putting up all of these signs.

Emily (as Roger)

[Weakly.] Alright, mercy.

Tom

[Grinning.] I’m going to frame this as a project as well to forge the documents, making it legal that the Student Council is reserving all classrooms, all club rooms.

[Laughter.]

Anyway, on the count of three, let us vote. Three, two, one.

[Music ends.]

Boo! Boo! How fucking dare you?

[Laughter.]

Hallie

For listeners at home, we all just voted a down vote.

Tom

How dare you all turn against me?

[Menacing, silly.] Have I not done everything in my power to support you, Ari?

Ari

[Smiling.] Yes, but this is a little bit extreme.

Tom

Don’t worry. There WILL be a reckoning in this school. Mark my words! If we must end this game early, I will show you the true depths that Mercy O’Shaughnessy is capable of!

Anyway. That makes this a Difficulty 4 task, so we’re going all in for this round.

Ari

Can I contribute…?

Emily

Yeah, I’m adding 1 against you.

Tom

Alright.

Ari

I’m adding your own token against you because I already succeeded on my project.

Tom

Alright. Alright, So that’s 2… Well, Ari will roll her die. I’ll roll Emily’s die in a moment. You doing anything, Hallie?

Hallie

Nope. I think the odds are pretty…

Tom

So there’s like one situation in which this possibly succeeds and it’s where each die rolls a different face. Every single die we roll has to roll a different face.

Ari

[Rolls.] I rolled a 2.

Tom

[Rolls.] …

Ari

Oh, look at that 2 in there!

Tom

So that’s already a failure.

Emily

And you rolled two 3s.

Tom

Oh, and there were two 3s anyway, so yeah, that’s a failure. So! That means it’s an 8-turn project.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom

Just gonna note that down real quick, 8 turns.

Emily

I mean, Roger might be dragging his feet a little bit since she’s…

Tom

It’s fine. It’s fine. She’s just making him do crimes, actual crimes, for like the first time.

Hallie

Like real crimes.

Tom

But like, it’s only a crime in real world logic. It’s not a crime by the laws written in our government yet, but other people have broken those laws.

Hallie

I see you’re already preparing the arguments to defend yourself.

Tom

I’m preparing the arguments to take everyone else down!

Anyway, drawing again. It’s Ari’s turn.

Ari

Ooh, it’s me? Oh no, but that means it doesn’t contribute towards my thing.

Tom

That’s true, your project does not tick down, but mine does.

Ari

Uh…

Tom

I mean, here’s a rule that we can do. If you truly don’t have anything for your turn, you can save that token and then pass your turn, because I think that’s fair. It gives you a little bit of power now, you’ve got something in reserve, but you can just say, like, “not really doing anything, passing the spotlight off to someone else.”

Ari

I am gonna pass my turn for efficiency’s sake and because I don’t really have anything else I want to do.

Tom

Yeah. That’s fair. Token…

[Laughs.] Another turn for me.

Ari

I assume the game token doesn’t count towards the turn for my thing.

Tom

Yeah, game tokens don’t count as turns for projects because nothing happened during that time. We just draw an extra token. Okay, so my project does not tick although everyone else’s do. I’m gonna make this scene quick because I want to just cause some chaos and see how people react.

[Classical music begins.]

Mercy is alone, sitting in the Student Council room once again, holding pen to paper. She taps the pen on her chin a bit, thinking, and then returns to writing. She is writing a secret note which another messenger—not Roger this time, as he is still hard at work forging documents, breaking into an office.

Emily

Poor Roger.

Tom

But another messenger will pass along a note to a certain someone because I would like to make use of another cool ability that I love dearly and I’m shoehorning in, A Raven for You.

When you want to send a secret message to another player, write the message on a note card and roll. On a success, the player receives the message successfully, pass them the note card. On a failure, the message is intercepted, one of the opposing players receives it instead. Pass it to the player who spent the most tokens to interfere. Ties break to the player with the highest Animosity towards you, and then just to your left if there’s still a tie.

So, let me write down a quick message first and then we are going to vote on whether or not this passes successfully. [Typing sounds.]

Alright, so on the count of three. One, two, three.

[Music ends.]

So those are all thumbs down, correct?

Ari

Yes.

Tom

Okay. This is fine.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Ari

I want to add a token against your roll.

[00:40:00]

Tom

Alright, that’s 1 token against. Anyone else want to contribute tokens to intercept my message?

Hallie

Is it just who does the most gets to intercept?

Tom

Yeah. So, one of the opposing players does it. Whoever contributes the most tokens will be the one who actually intercepts the message.

Hallie

Ugh…

Tom

[Antagonistic.] Come on. Come on~

Hallie

I know, but I have an Alliance with you so it costs me double.

Tom

[Grinning.] Yeah, it’ll cost you a lot, but don’t you want that message?

Hallie

Yeah… I like my 5 remaining things.

Ari

You have so many.

Hallie

Yeah. There are things I wanna—There’s one thing I wanna do.

Emily

So do we not know who it’s for?

Tom

Um… I guess I am supposed to announce. It is a message for Robyn.

Ari

I’m taking my token back then.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Emily

Well, I’ll put in 1.

Hallie

So if I…

Tom

Let me take a look at the wording here, if it was dice or tokens.

Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

The most tokens, so it doesn’t matter how much dice you used to interfere. In many ways having Alliance could help you, because if you spend more tokens that’s what decides who intercepts the message.

Hallie

Okay. Well then, I may as well. I’m gonna put in 2 tokens for one die.

Tom

Alright, so that’s two dice against me. I can only contribute a single die, and the Difficulty is 4, so this will fail, guaranteed.

Hallie

Woohoo!

Tom

Alright, so yes, that ends in failure. Let me send that message to Hallie quickly as the interceptor.

Hallie

Alright. Alright.

Emily

I deserve to know this if it’s about Robyn, because I told you the secrets and you ditched me.

Tom

I mean, for the sake of the viewers at home, it should be read out loud I think to the rest of the group.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

This will be out of character knowledge for everyone who isn’t Reagan though.

Emily

You ditched me to hang out with your boyfriend. I wanted to solve mysteries.

Hallie

Yeah, I did, but I had other things I was gonna do…

Tom

Sucks to suck.

Hallie

…that probably benefitted you, but I’m not sure.

Ari

I love that it’s like “five minutes” and then you went, just…

Hallie

[Laughing.] Yeah! Then I just skedaddled off.

Tom

Reagan, “oh yeah, don’t worry about it, give me five minutes.” Leaves. “Babe, we need to get the finale set up right fucking now.”

Ari

They just really wanted to watch this finale.

Tom

God, this is incredible. Alright.

Hallie

This means a lot to Reagan. She’s really stressed right now and she wants The Cravat Boys with her boyfriend.

Tom

Actually, before you read it off, I wanna know how does Reagan intercept the messenger. This is important to me.

Hallie

Alright. So Reagan, after Freddie got the Av situation up and running, she probably was on her way to the cafeteria to see if she could just nab some little chips or something, just on the DL. While she’s there this rando messenger was probably instructed somewhat scarily by Mercy and so was going faster than they needed to, so they collided, and Reagan can recognize the nervous sweat of someone who’s on a time-sensitive task.

Hallie (as Reagan)

Oh. Where are you going?

Hallie

And then the NPC messenger probably just fucking broke and ran away.

Tom

God!

Hallie

[Laughs.] Because you didn’t have Roger, you didn’t have your trusty aide. It was a rando and your rando sucks.

Emily

You didn’t ask Roger Dodger!

Hallie

He’s good at dodging. He would have dodged Reagan. So, Reagan can see the note. She knows how this all works. She’s been a part of it for a while. As the messenger runs away, she looks down at the note and goes:

Hallie (as Reagan)

Well I am now.

Hallie

Because the note says:

[Classical music begins.]

The president is actively trying to break into the gym. With your support, we can stop her, Robyn. Please respond.

Ari

[Laughing.] Oh my god.

Hallie

There is a non-zero chance Reagan would not have then gone to the gym after this, but that’s where she’s headed now that she received this spiteful message.

Tom

Meanwhile, back in the original scene, Mercy’s just sitting hands steepled in front of her face like that classic anime villain pose, like light glaring off the glasses. We just see a single smirk and the scene cuts.

[Music swells and carries into the announcements.]

Tom

Hello and welcome back to the announcement break. It’s me, Tom, again. Our theme song for this episode is Liquid Nights and Disco Lights by Miracle of Sound.

As a reminder, last episode we mentioned that our merch store is now live. It’s still live, but at this point it’s probably a little bit too late to order something in time for it to arrive for the holidays.

[00:45:00]

But if you like getting things for yourself, or just don’t care about the holidays, it’s a great option to buy fun things from our past campaign, and it will be up year-round. That link is in the description below and it should stay there in future episodes alongside various social medias and may even see new merch as time goes on. Even the wisest cannot say.

In other news, we are also taking another holiday break. On Monday, December 20, we are rereleasing the first episode of Hallmarked, a Hallmark analysis podcast Hallie and Kyle started back in 2018 that we thought was fun, and there’s currently nowhere to listen to it since the old feed was taken down.

But then, Girl Underground with Emily, Part 1 will release on Monday, January 3.

[Classical music carries out of the announcements.]

Tom

And then I need to get back to the fucking game because we need to find out whose turn it is next. Yoink, it’s Ari’s.

Ari

It’s me. Oh no. Really?

Tom

You can pass if you want.

Ari

I pass, yeah, because I’m like at 5. I just need one more but  not me.

Tom

Alright… Yoink. Ari again.

[Laughter.]

Ari

Oh my god. I pass again. I put too many tokens in here.

Hallie

Give me your token! You only put one more in than the rest of us did, though.

Tom

Oh my fucking god. Where are Hallie’s tokens? Where the FUCK?

Hallie

Tom, why are you bad at drawing tokens?

Tom

NO!

[Laughter.]

Ari

Oh, this means that my thing has completed. Six turns have completed.

Emily & Hallie

No~!

Tom

Okay. Yeah, actually, let’s say for out of character sake, describe what Robyn finds in there. I’m gonna give you control over what you find there.

[Tense music begins.]

Ari

Well, after a lot of looking around for any clues, blatantly ignoring actual clues of the mystery, Robyn finds a tape underneath a board in the gym and goes like…

Ari (as Robyn)

Ah-ha! I knew it.

Ari

…and then—I’ll just say she’s literally running with the tape to an undisclosed location.

[Music ends.]

Tom

I’m trying to think of what I can do right now. My worst part is that I too want to see what other people do first before I inflict my true chaos upon the world. I will also pass my turn because I would like to have something in reserve for when things go very, very wrong. Oh my fucking god. We might actually pull the end of round token. Oh my god, Emily.

Emily

It’s me~

Tom

What the fuck. Hallie, I thought there were tokens of yours in there.

Hallie

I had 4 tokens in and 1 has been drawn.

Ari

I love that this is the equivalent of Hallie rolling a 1.

Hallie

[Laughing.] This IS the equivalent of me rolling a 1!

Tom

There are seven items left in this bag. Like…

Hallie

Even when it’s not dice, and someone else is doing it for me.

Ari

And the equivalent of me rolling a 20, because I keep getting turns that I don’t need.

Tom

[Counts.] Okay, yeah, that was my last token. I will not get another turn. Same with Ari, all of her tokens are out. There’s one of Emily’s, there’s two game tokens, there’s the end of round token, and then all of Hallie’s remaining just sitting at the bottom of the bag.

Hallie

[Laughs.] They’re biding their time.

Tom

For the sake of drama, do we want to cheat? Leave Emily’s turn on standby and just let Hallie have a fucking turn?

Hallie

Well no, I’m okay with Emily going first before me if Edgar has a plan of action.

Tom

Okay. Set the scene for us, then.

[Classical music begins.]

Emily

Cut straight back to the Student Council room, Mercy looking like a villain, sitting with her glasses glinting in the light.

Tom

Ooh.

Emily

The door slams open…

[Classical music changes to silly waltz.]

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Emily

…and Edgar bursts in, just Andi behind him.

Hallie

Andi shuffles in behind Edgar after Edgar has valiantly kicked down the door.

Emily (as Edgar)

I have something to say.

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh really?

Emily (as Edgar)

I don’t like you. Well, I don’t like most people, so it’s not like that high of an honor or anything… but I don’t like you. But, I had an idea, and I tried to tell the Dodger guy in the hall, but he said he was busy and wouldn’t listen to me. He looked really upset and I know the feeling of having so many feelings so I let him go and came straight to the top.

[Music ends.]

I had this great idea for a new issue of the newspaper.

[00:50:00]

Tom (as Mercy)

And what exactly is that?

Emily (as Edgar)

Well, I brought Andi with me because it has to do with poems and the Poetry Club. So I was thinking, well we were thinking, we talked about it in our club meeting and we think it would be a really great idea if…

Emily

And he looks over to Andi.

Hallie

So, Andi straightens up because Edgar put them on the spot there, and they’re ready to present. Counting on their fingers, they say:

[Silly classical piano music begins.]

Hallie (as Andi)

We think it be great

if the newspaper was good.

How can do? Haik-News.

I don't know if you got that. I just delivered that as a haiku. That’s when it’s five syllables and then seven syllables and then five.

Tom (as Mercy)

Haiku News…?

Hallie (as Andi)

Haik-News. Yeah, we’ve asked Roger Dodger about it a couple of times but he never seems to get back to us.

Emily (as Edgar)

And this last time he looked like he was gonna start crying, honestly. I thought maybe it was what a work of art our proposal was.

Hallie (as Andi)

It’s just that it’s really important, you know, and we’ve been waiting for an answer for such a long time. Now seemed as good a time as any.

Emily (as Edgar)

And everyone knows that Roger works for you.

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Mercy)

And yet, with all that knowledge, what do you have to show for it?

[Tense music begins.]

I don’t think you’ve come here with anything of value to offer us. What can you do for the Student Council to make me intercede on your behalf with the Newspaper Club?

Emily (as Edgar)

[Stammers.] We… We’re enriching the school.

Tom (as Mercy)

I think that is yet to be proven.

Emily (as Edgar)

Our program is incredibly lacking. We’re… We’re adding so much to everything, to… ugh. Andi?!

Hallie (as Andi)

Uh, excuse me, ma’am, but—

Emily (as Edgar)

Don’t call her ma’am!

Tom

She stands up and starts moving closer.

Hallie (as Andi)

I kinda was under the impression that the Student Council was just supposed to do stuff for students who wanted it without needing anything in return. That feels like a whole bunch of low-down business, that.

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh, we do quite a great deal, but unfortunately our resources are stretched thin by many demands. I mean, in a more informal sense, what can you and your club contribute to help with the Student Council in return for a word in the right ear?

Hallie (as Andi)

Well uh…

Emily (as Edgar)

We can include you in our weekly poetry jams.

Tom (as Mercy)

Is that really what you want? Are you so fond of my poetry?

Emily (as Edgar)

Well I’ve never heard your poetry. All that comes out of your mouth is vile slander.

Tom (as Mercy)

[Forceful.] Is that the way you speak to someone who is going to get you the newspaper page you want?!

Emily (as Edgar)

[Shaky.] Yes… I am asserting myself as an equal in humanity, and the feeling of confidence as I say these words is a bird that stirs within my breast to sing—

[Music ends.]

Tom (as Mercy)

Enough! Enough! Enough!

Enough. You are wasting your time here because your idea is awful and I am not going to put it in the school newspaper and be a laughing stock. I’m going to go down in school history as the best Student Council President we have ever had, and I need no stains on a potential college application that could come from Haik-News!

Hallie (as Andi)

I don't know that any college is gonna look real deep into something called Haik-News. I would feel real bad if it denied you your college entry, though.

[Restrained giggling.]

Emily (as Edgar)

Okay, okay, okay. Andi Morgan-Shelley, don’t you dare look down upon the incredible idea of Haik-News. We will work for this for as long as it takes. Just because one terrible Student Council President who doesn’t make a nice newspaper doesn’t want to produce our work…

[Threatening evil ambience begins.]

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh, by the way, I thought I should let you know so that you had ample time to check in with your faculty sponsor and all that, but it looks like you’ll need to find a new club room. Every club needs to have an assigned room in order to remain a student organization.

Emily (as Edgar)

A hallway is a long room.

[00:55:00]

Tom (as Mercy)

Hallways do not count for the purposes of these things. That is an informal space, and not part of your official club activities, at least not as a meeting space. I think you’ll find that the Student Council had greater need for that room.

Hallie (as Andi)

With all due respect, ma’am, it seems like you need an awful lot of space to do an awful lot of nothing.

Emily

As Andi’s saying that, Edgar’s gonna do the snapping like at poetry jams and stuff.

Hallie

[Laughs.]

Tom (as Mercy)

Oh, there will be an awful lot of something, Andi. Don’t you worry about that. The student body will be so much more than it has ever been. Enough of this. Get out of my Student Council room!

[Music meets Mercy’s intensity before fading.]

Emily

As Edgar leaves, he’s gonna turn over and push a chair a little bit over to the side, just with his hands, like just scooch it. Not even slide it far or anything, just like a little off-kilter to where it was, and then storm out.

Emily (as Edgar)

Poetry.

Hallie

Andi tries to mimic slash support Edgar’s anger by then kicking that chair, just a little bit, but this is offset by the fact that they then don the hat that they have been wearing this entire time as they leave, because that’s just proper manners.

Emily

[Laughs.]

Tom

[Smiling.] Perfect. You can keep that token. Hallie gets a turn at long last.

[Cheering.]

Hallie

What did I wanna do? I’ve forgotten. Okay, um… I wanna go to the gym, and I know that Ari’s project is done, but I don't think this would affect it and Reagan wouldn’t necessarily know about that anyway because she’s been fucking off with her boyfriend in the AD room.

[Marching band music and loud crowd ambience begins.]

So, upon seeing the fervor outside the gym that was not there the last time Reagan checked in, she realizes that getting Edgar this post is not going to be as simple as just saying this is a thing especially since she has waited, so maybe the opportune time for that has passed. What she will do instead is I would like to spread a rumor.

[Music ends.]

Emily

Ooh.

Tom

Okay.

Hallie

And it’s just the rumor that I’ve been told.

Ari

Oh no.

Hallie (as Reagan)

You guys really want the Soccer Club to be in charge of the gym? Because I heard that she wanted it

[Whispering.] to cover up evidence.

Tom

Oh my god, yes.

Hallie

It’s tell a tale about someone over a meal, so I’d like to flavor this with I’m eating chips while I’m doing it.

Tom

God, yes. Okay. On the count of three, let us vote. Three, two, one.

Hallie

Woop-woop!

Ari

I’m going to spend my 3 tokens that I now have into being against this thing.

Hallie

No!

Tom

Well, do you have any Animosity with Reagan?

Ari

Uh…

Tom

I think you only have Alliance with her.

Ari

Oh…

Tom

So you can spend 2 tokens to add a single die against it. And also, for the listeners, Ari was the only one who voted no, so it’s only Difficulty 2.

Ari

Okay. That’s fine, I’ll spend 2 tokens to do a die against her.

Emily

I would like to spend 3, all 3.

Ari

Why?

Tom

How many tokens are you spending, Hallie? There are currently one die against you, two dice for you, and then of course you’d have one die from your own token.

Hallie

Okay, so I would roll three as it is?

Tom

As it is, yes. You wanna spend more?

Hallie

One more.

Tom

Alright, so you have four dice total. Are you gonna roll your own dice?

Hallie

I am gonna roll my own dice.

Tom

Yeah! Then Ari, you roll your die.

Emily

Oh no.

Ari

Yeah!

[Rolls.] I rolled a 6.

Tom

All you need are two unique faces that are not 6.

Hallie

Okay… Okay. This is a different type of roll than I do normally, so it’s probably gonna be fine.

Tom

You’ve got good odds.

Hallie

[Rolls.] So I got a 1, a 4, a 1, and a 5.

Tom

That is enough. The roll does succeed.

Hallie

Woohoo!

Tom

So yeah, the rumor gets out that Robyn did this just to cover up evidence of cheating during the last soccer match.

Ari

God damn it.

Tom

Then, let us draw again. That’s the end of round token.

Ari & Emily

Oh~!

Hallie

There it is!

[Tense music begins.]

Tom

So, when we reach the end of a round, basically we vote thumbs up or thumbs down if we as players want the game to advance to the next phase, and then there’s essentially a roll. The Difficulty is the thumbs down plus 1 like normal. The dice are decided by each game token that has been drawn. The more game tokens there are the more dice we roll in favor of moving this on. So, just for the sake of fun, I shall do that. On the count of three. Three, two, one… So yes, all in favor, so it will automatically succeed, but just for the fun of it I’m gonna roll it anyway because I’d like to.

[01:00:00]

So, nine dice. I wonder if we will get a unique face between all nine of these dice.

[Chuckles, counts, and rolls.] Hurray, we won.

[Music ends.]

So, the round ends here. What would normally happen is that we would choose as a group which of the two paths for the scenario we want to follow, because there are two ways in which the crisis can proceed. That being said, if people are okay, I think there’s one that makes for a much spookier and striking path here and I kind of want to use that as, unfortunately, our ending point, because it is 11:00 just about.

[Mysterious music begins.]

So, while all this commotion is happening out there, no sound has come from the teachers’ lounge in hours. A curious student sneaks in to find nothing but the faint smell of smoke as all of the other adults in the school have disappeared as well. Then, in time, it becomes clear there’s more. Scouts to other schools and businesses in the surrounding area are reporting the same thing. There are no adults anywhere in town.

[Music swells dramatically before ending.]

And, it is here that we leave our characters. In a traditional end to the game, when you finish Round 3, you essentially draw the last remaining tokens from the bag. As you draw a token of your own color you’re able to give a sentence or two of what are the last moments of the character.

Then, when the end of round token is drawn—because we only put a handful in then—that’s it, that’s the cut-off point, we do not know what happens to the characters after that point as the crisis reaches its absolute critical moment. Everything breaks down because all of the scenarios just completely fall to pieces in time. Do we want to do that? Do we wanna do one or two quick sentences for each of our characters in the aftermath of “all adults in town have vanished?”

Ari

I mean, I had a scene for a cliffhanger thing of what Robyn would be doing, because she still has a goal in mind but I won’t have time to play that out, so just the last cliffhanger of what she would be doing.

Tom

Sure. Sure. Go ahead.

[Nostalgic college rock music begins.]

Ari

Oh, she would just be frantically running, holding the tape super close, trying to hide it from everybody and booking it to the AV Club.

Hallie

No… No! NO!

Ari

[Laughs.] Yeah, and whatever conflict would happen from there.

Hallie

Not there! But that would represent very nicely, metaphorically, the real world crashing in on Reagan because I didn’t get a whole lot of, like… Reagan is tired. She’s a senior, it’s a very stressful time, she doesn’t really want to be in this leadership position anymore, but with no adults around now she actually has to start doing stuff.

So, she’s having a great time with Freddie. They hooked up the AV, they’re cuddling, they’re watching The Cravat Boys, and then everything changed when Robyn Riviera stormed into the AV Club. After that, you know, that’s just… it’s been shattered. In the aftermath she would try to do stuff and she’d hate it.

Ari

I want to say that Robyn storms in and this is to reveal another secret that I actually gave Tom but he never used, since this is the end of the game. As Robyn storms in, Freddie was in the middle of taking out a little box with a ring and getting down on one knee to propose.

Hallie

[Shrieks in delight.]

Tom

That was the rumor I got, that Freddie was planning to propose.

Ari

It happened right as he was about to do it and Robyn just, bam, storms into the room interrupting that.

Tom

[Chuckling.] Ugh…

Hallie

No~! Poor Reagan. Everything is ruined for her. She just wants to watch The Cravat Boys and ignore her responsibilities.

Emily

I feel like Edgar would be like “this is the perfect inspiration for poetry” and then not write anything because he’s too busy actually panicking about the real world. But also, I guess him and Andi are in love now per their first scene together.

Hallie

Well, Andi’s in love with Edgar.

Tom

I feel like him and Andi, if nothing else, went to the tree behind the bleachers.

Hallie

There was probably a hand-hold or maybe a shoulder lean. Andi isn’t quite sure if Edgar returns their feelings, so it would be a very gentle, like, “I’m here for you, here’s a small physical indicator that I’m into you that you can accept or reject,” and then it would go from there.

Emily

Eventually Edgar will occasionally come up with poetic phrases that actually work and they’re generally about Andi.

Tom

Aww.

Hallie

Yay.

Tom

Meanwhile, in the theater, on stage, Mercy O’Shaughnessy stands alone in front of a crowd of students.

Tom (as Mercy)

My fellow classmates, we have suffered a terrible tragedy today and we do not yet know how far it spreads.

[01:05:00]

But know this! If nothing else is left of the world we used to know, I and our Student Council will be there for you. We will rebuild from the ashes of what was and make a new world for us all!

[The audience cheers. Music swells and carries out to the bloopers.]

Emily

So, my question before we end this is did Mercy do it?

Tom

Did Mercy do what? Kill the adults?

[Laughter.]

Emily

Yeah.

Tom

No, it’s just that the Lord of the Flies scenario gives her a great opportunity.

I’m gonna go use the bathroom real quick because we’ve been going—

Hallie

Okay!

Tom

Do we wanna take our bathroom break now real quick?

Hallie

I could refill my water. Yeah.

Tom

Because it’s been a long time and we haven’t reached the end of Round 1. [Frantic nervous sounds.]

But we have to be close. We have to be close. We’ve taken many turns.

Hallie

I have an actual action I’m gonna do.

Tom

So yeah, let’s take like a 10 minute or so break, 10-15 minutes, and we’ll be back, and it will be Hallie’s turn finally.

Hallie

I spend a—

[Laughing.] I spend a single token.

Tom

Coolio.

Hallie

I was just trying to move it off the Zoom screen and getting really mad that it wasn’t responding to my mouse.

[Laughter.]

Tom

That’s incredible.

Hallie

Like, what the fuck? This is my thing!

Tom

No sound has come from the teachers’ lounge in hours. A curious student sneaks in to find nothing but the faint smell of smoke as all of the other adults in the school have disappeared as well.

Ari

Oh my god, yes.

Hallie

That’s extremely funny—not that they had any power over us currently…

Ari

No.

Hallie

…but this just makes things worse.

Tom

One of these routes just goes full Lord of the Flies, and if we had been playing this properly, Mercy would not have been very mask-off right away, but once the adults were gone would have gone full Lord of the Flies on everyone.

Hallie

I mean, she was still playing within the boundaries, you know? With the “oh, here are forms, you’re doing illegal things with them but the forms themselves are legal.” With your whole “nothing I’ve done actually breaks the rules” gambit.

Tom

Oh, I shared the wrong screen. No!

Hallie

No!

Tom

I fucked it up.

Hallie

You were doing so well before that. It’s all downhill from here. The perfection has been ruined.